Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

BL-BL-BL-BL-YEAH.

[SLURPING]

BROTHER ROLF,

ARE YOU TRYING TO WEASEL OUT

OF YOUR FRIENDSHIP DUTIES?

NO. NO.

[MUMBLING]

FIDDLE-DE-DEE.

I WAS JUST PULLING YOUR LEG, SILLY. THANK YOU.

FRIENDSHIP IS ALL ABOUT FRIENDS WORKING TOGETHER.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT, BROTHER JONNY?

YOU BET YOUR SWEET PATOOTIE, BROTHER JIMMY.

THIS PAPIER-MACHE HEART

WAS A GREAT IDEA, BROTHER JIMMY.

Jimmy: SISTER SARAH?

YES, BROTHER JIMMY?

GOTCHA!

[ALL LAUGHING]

YOU LITTLE RASCAL, YOU.

[LAUGHING]

I LOVE YOU, TOO, BUDDY.

Nazz: HEY, THAT'S SO COOL, GUYS.

Jimmy: OH. OH, HI, NAZZ. HI, KEVIN.

JOIN US, WON'T YOU? IT'S FRIENDSHIP DAY.

AW, THAT'S SO CUTE, JIMMY.

MMM.

WHAT A BORE.

Jonny: WHOOPEE! ALL DONE, BROTHER JIMMY!

HUH?

HURRY! COME SEE! IT'S BEAUTIFUL!

ISN'T IT ADORABLE, KEVIN?

WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

[MUMBLING]

Kevin: ROLF. NOT YOU, TOO?

LET'S HOLD HANDS, BROTHER KEVIN,

AND SING AN ODE OF JOY TO FRIENDSHIP.

HIT IT, BROTHER JIMMY.

Jimmy: ♪ WHEN YOU STUB YOUR TOE

♪ AND IT HURTS, YOU KNOW

All: ♪ FRIENDS ARE THERE TO HELP YOU ♪

♪ WHEN YOU TRIP ON YOUR FACE ♪

♪ AND YOUR TEETH ARE MISPLACED ♪

♪ FRIENDS ARE THERE TO HELP YOU ♪

♪ WHEN YOU'RE FLYIN' LOW AND YOU'RE GIVING A SHOW ♪

♪ FRIENDS ARE THERE TO HELP YOU ♪

♪ WHEN YOU TAKE OFF YOUR SHOE AND YOUR FEET STINK ♪

PEE YEW!

♪ FRIENDS ARE THERE TO HELP YOU ♪

SECOND VERSE, SAME AS THE FIRST.

GET WITH THE GROOVE, DOUBLE D.

JUJUBES! DON'T MIND IF I DO.

LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT WHATEVER-THAT-IS.

IT'S ABOUT TIME THE DORKS SHOWED UP.

Eddy: HA HA HA! IS THAT A HEART?

YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.

IT'S SO DELICATE.

AND RED.

Edd: I THINK IT'S A LOVELY ADDITION

TO OUR CUL-DE-SAC.

ISN'T IT PRECIOUS?

COME ON, EDDY.

QUIT BEING SUCH A MR. GRUMPY PANTS.

IT'S FRIENDSHIP DAY!

JUST REACH OUT AND TOUCH SOMEONE.

WHATEVER YOU SAY, FRIEND.

Jimmy: HEY! HEY!

I'VE BEEN WEDGIED!

HA HA HA! HA HA HA!

[SOBBING]

THAT'S IT, ED! I'M TELLING MOM!

UH-OH.

AW, LIGHTEN UP. IT WAS A JOKE.

Nazz: HEY, GUYS.

WASN'T THERE A PAINTBRUSH HERE A SECOND AGO?

HUH?

I BET ED TOOK IT!

[SIGH]

HAVE I EVER MENTIONED YOU HAVE IMPECCABLE TIMING, EDDY?

HERE WE GO!

Sarah: YOU STOLE MY PAINTBRUSH, ED! GIVE IT BACK!

PAINTBRUSH?

WHOA!

ED DIDN'T TAKE YOUR STUPID PAINTBRUSH, SHERLOCK.

THINGS ARE PICKING UP.

BOY, PLANK, WHY WOULD ED WANT TO STEAL A PAINTBRUSH?

HOLY COW!

SOMEBODY WIPED OFF PLANK'S MOUTH!

Kevin: NO WAY.

OF ALL THE ROTTEN LUCK, HUH, BUDDY?

OH, DEAR. UM...

PERHAPS IT'S BEEN ABSORBED

BY PLANK'S PERMEABLE FIBROUS COMPOSITION.

GET ME A CRAYON, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

WHAT'S THAT RAG IN YOUR POCKET, DOUBLE D?

RAG?

IS THAT PLANK'S MOUTH STAIN?

DOUBLE D, HOW COULD YOU?

OH, COME ON, PEOPLE.

WANT TO ERASE PLANK'S MOUTH?

RAG!

Jimmy: HEAVENS TO BETSY!

LOOK!

SEE?

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Kevin: SOMETHING REEKS AROUND HERE.

WHAT?

WHAT'S YOUR NAME DOING ON THIS STICK, EDDY?

NAME?

Eddy: HEY, DON'T LOOK AT ME!

YOU'RE THE JOCK BOY. I SAY, YOU DID IT.

Edd: I REALLY MUST PROTEST.

YOUR ACCUSATIONS ARE PURELY BASED ON CONJECTURE.

WHY, WE WOULD NEVER--

ZIP IT, MOUTH-WIPER-OFFER!

YEAH! LIKE, WE'RE GONNA BELIEVE PAINTBRUSH STEALERS!

Nazz: OR HOCKEY-STICK-THROWERS.

YOU GUYS SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES BLAMING KEVIN.

THAT'S SO IMMATURE, DUDES.

Jimmy: HOOLIGANS.

YEAH. WHAT HE SAID.

WHAT CAN I TELL YOU?

THANKS FOR DORKING UP AN OTHERWISE DULL DAY.

[GIGGLING]

Kevin: DORKS.

Eddy: WE'RE INNOCENT, I TELL YOU.

YOU GUYS GOT TO TRUST US!

HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO RIP YOU OFF

IF YOU DON'T TRUST US?

WELL, THIS IS A FINE KETTLE OF FISH.

WHAT COULD A STAINED RAG BE DOING IN MY BACK POCKET?

IT SURE WASN'T PICKLING DAISIES.

QUIT BEING SUCH A PIGEON, DOUBLE D.

THEY TRIED TO SET US UP.

I'M NOT READY TO ACCEPT THAT, EDDY,

AT LEAST NOT WITHOUT ESTABLISHING A MOTIVE

WHY SOMEONE WOULD WANT

TO IMPLICATE ED, YOU, AND I

WITH SUCH CONTEMPTIBLE WRONGDOINGS.

NOW, LET'S SEE.

WELL, IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN JIMMY.

Eddy: I WOULDN'T PUT MONEY ON THAT.

EVERYBODY'S JEALOUS OF OUR TALENTS, CHARM, AND GOOD LOOKS,

AND JIMMY'S ONE OF THEM.

WELL, SARAH WOULDN'T HAVE THE PATIENCE TO--

SARAH HATES US.

OK. THEN THERE'S JONNY.

HE SECRETLY HATES US.

NAZZ?

WELL, YOU.

THANK YOU FOR REINFORCING THAT PHOBIA, EDDY.

WELL, LAST BUT NOT LEAST, THERE'S KEVIN,

AND HE HATES US.

I KNOW WHO DID IT.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, ED?

THE OFFENDER STOOD HERE

AS THEY PILFERED THE PAINTBRUSH

DIRECTLY BEHIND JONNY,

WHERE THE OFFENDER RUBBED OUT PLANK'S MOUTH,

THUS HAVING THE PERFECT STANDPOINT

IN WHICH TO CHUCK THE SAID HOCKEY STICK.

WHY, ED. THAT WAS VERY GOOD.

HOLD THAT THOUGHT.

SO TELL US, ED. WHO DID IT?

SIMPLE, MY FINE FRIENDS.

IT WAS A FOOT.

HARD TO BELIEVE HE CAN DRESS HIMSELF, AIN'T IT?

BUT, EDDY, ED FOUND A FOOTPRINT

OBVIOUSLY LEFT BY THE PERPETRATOR

OF THESE FALSE ALLEGATIONS.

NO FOOLING?

BRAVO, ED.

WE'LL JUST MATCH THEIR FEET TO IT

AND TRAP THE RAT.

THEY'LL NEVER AGREE TO THIS TYPE OF VERIFICATION, EDDY.

BRANDED, WE ARE.

EXILED AND DISGRACED FOREVERMORE.

[THUD]

TO THE VICTOR, THE SPOILS WILL SMELL.

LET'S FIND OUR RAT, ED.

OOPS. GOTCHA, DOUBLE D.

OOH, UH, THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

Eddy: YOU'RE THE RAT!

YOUR HOCKEY STICK!

Jimmy: NO. I DIDN'T DO IT, EDDY.

HONEST. IT WASN'T ME.

CHECK IT OUT, DOUBLE D.

HE SET US UP, DIDN'T HE? THE LITTLE--

NO MATCH HERE, EDDY.

[JIMMY CRYING]

I HATE HOCKEY.

MY FATHER MAKES ME PRACTICE.

OH, DEAR, JIMMY.

I DIDN'T KNOW.

I COULD HAVE SWORN IT WAS HIM.

CHIN UP, MISTER. LET ED DRY THOSE--

Ed: I SHOULD HAVE ALL THE FEELING BACK IN MY FEET

AFTER THIS WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR, DOUBLE D.

CURSE BROADCAST COMMERCIALISM.

[MUMBLING]

CANDY!

HA HA HA HA!

Eddy: CAREFUL, ED.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT CANDY'S BEEN.

OH, LOOK. "GIANT JONNY CHEW."

ONLY 50 CENTS.

Edd: WHY WOULD SOMEONE WANT TO COVER JONNY...

IN ASSORTED JUJUBES?

IF IT AIN'T BROKE, DON'T FIX IT, DOUBLE D.

[MUMBLING]

UM, GUYS, LOOK.

OH, DEAR.

THIS CAN ONLY POINT TO ONE THING.

ROTTEN TEETH?

NO, ED. WELL, YES.

WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS,

THAT WHOMEVER DID THIS TO JONNY

IS CERTAINLY THE SAME SCOUNDREL

WHO'S MADE EVERYONE BELIEVE WE'RE TO BLAME FOR HIS OR HER MISCHIEF.

JONNY'S FOOT'S TOO SMALL, TOO.

THE RAT'S GOT CLODHOPPERS FOR FEET.

Kevin: BUSTED.

WHAT DID YOU DO TO JONNY?

Eddy: JONNY WAS LIKE THIS WHEN WE FOUND HIM.

YEAH, RIGHT.

WE SAW YOU DORKS WITH OUR OWN EYES.

PLEASE LET ME EXPLAIN.

WE HAVE EVIDENCE THAT PROVES OUR INNOCENCE.

WE'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR LIES.

THEY MADE ME CRY.

THAT'S IT. I'M GIVING YOU A LIFETIME WORTH OF LUMPS.

Sarah: SOMEBODY FIND ME A CLUB.

All: RUN AWAY!

GET BACK HERE!

MAKE THEM CRY, KEVIN. DO IT!

[MUMBLING]

HURRY UP! THEY'RE GAINING!

Eddy: MOMMY!

Sarah: GET BACK HERE!

YO, ROLF. HOW ABOUT HELPING US, MAN?

THERE'S PLENTY OF DORK TO GO AROUND.

[MUMBLING]

THOSE JUJUBES WILL ROT YOUR TEETH, DUDE.

[CHEWING]

GUYS, WAIT UP!

WHOA!

THIS WAY!

[MUMBLING]

IT'S POUNDING TIME.

MAN, THAT WAS CLOSE.

HUH?

WHAT'S THIS?

LOOK! A PROCESSION OF JUJUBES!

EDDY, I HAVE A HUNCH,

IF WE FOLLOW THIS TRAIL,

IT WILL LEAD STRAIGHT TO OUR PERPETRATOR.

TIME TO SQUEAL ON THE HEEL! HA HA HA!

PRETTY.

[MUMBLING]

THE RAT'S LEADING US RIGHT TO HIM.

WHAT AN IDIOT.

MMM.

Kevin: TRY THIS WAY!

[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]

YOU GO FIRST, DOUBLE D.

[HOWLING]

AH, THERE'S NO ONE IN THERE.

I CONCUR, EDDY.

WHY, NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND

WOULD HIDE SHED.

Ed: KIDS MEAN. SARAH HURT!

Ed: I FELL.

Kevin: HEY, CHECK IT OUT. I BET THEY'RE IN THAT SHED.

Eddy: MOO. MOO.

MOO, MOO, MOO.

Ed: QUACK.

NO SIGN OF THE TWERPS.

JUST A COW, I THINK.

QUACK? WHAT COW GOES QUACK?

WELL, EDDY, THERE HAVE BEEN CASES OF DOMESTIC BOVINE

WHOSE GRUNT COULD BE MISCONSTRUED

AS SOMEWHAT OF A QUACK.

OH, GEE.

LOOK! IT'S THE PERPETRATOR!

WHO IS IT? I CAN'T SEE.

HIYA, ROLF.

ROLF?

ROLF! WHY, YOU BACK-STABBING TWO-TIMING--

WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA SETTING US UP?

SWEET NOTHINGS WILL GET YOU EVERYWHERE.

All: CANKERS!

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, I ALWAYS SAY.

All: RUN AWAY!

Kevin: HEY! THERE THEY ARE!

LET'S TEAR THEM APART.

KIDS!

CANKERS!

Kevin: COME OUT HERE AND TAKE IT LIKE A DORK!

LOOKS LIKE WE'VE GOT SOME WANTED MEN.

BAIL IS SET AT... 200 KISSES.

WHAT DO WE DO? WHAT DO WE DO?

Sarah: I GOT HIM! I GOT HIM!

WE'RE CAUGHT IN A VORTEX OF IMPENDING DOOM,

TRAPPED LIKE ANIMALS FRESH FOR THE SLAUGHTER!

JUST TOSS ONE RIGHT HERE.

[LOUD KNOCKING]

YOU JERKS!

Cankers: HUBBA HUBBA!

[CANKERS LAUGHING]

[ALL LAUGHING]

THIS AIN'T SO BAD.

THE LESSER OF TWO EVILS, I SUPPOSE.

ALTHOUGH I CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL

SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT HERE.

OUCH!

HA HA HA HA! GOT ME!

WELL, I FEEL GOOD.

THAT'LL TEACH YOU.

I HIT HIM TWICE, BUDDY.

IDIOTS!

LOOKS GOOD ON YOU.

Rolf: EXCUSE ME, SEMI-OPAQUE ONE.

MORE FOR ROLF, YES?

Jimmy: YOU CERTAINLY ARE A LITTLE PIGGY, AREN'T YOU?

ROLF IS CONFUSED AS TO WHY YOU PROVIDE HIM

WITH THESE JUJUBES,

BUT WHO'S COMPLAINING?

JUJUBES! JUJUBES!

Eddy: WHERE'D YOU GET THOSE FROM?

GET WHAT?

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

Edd: LOOK! A PAINT-SPATTERED BOOT!

I SMELL ROTTEN SOMETHING, I.

YES! IT WAS ME, AND I'D DO IT AGAIN.

WHY, YOU LITTLE RAT! WAIT TILL I--

BUT WHY, JIMMY? WHY IMPLICATE US?

REVENGE TAKES NO PRISONERS, DOUBLE D.

REVENGE? WHAT THE HECK DID WE DO?

YOU RUINED A PERFECTLY GOOD PAIR OF UNDERPANTS,

YOU BIG BRUTE!

OH, THE WEDGIE!

OH, YEAH. THAT WAS FUNNY. HA HA HA!

STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HUMILIATED IN ALL MY LIFE.

Jimmy, voice-over: YOUR MOCKING LAUGHTER GOUGING AT MY FRAGILE PRIDE,

JUST LIKE MY UNDIES.

IT WAS AT THAT MOMENT...

I FORMULATED MY REVENGE.

WHEN THE COAST WAS CLEAR, I TIPPY-TOED INTO ACTION.

IT BEGAN SIMPLY WITH A MISSING PAINTBRUSH.

I JUST WAITED FOR THE OTHERS TO TAKE MY BAIT.

ED!

BINGO.

MY FIENDISH PLAN WAS WORKING.

WITH MY NEXT MOVE, I WOULD HAVE TO SACRIFICE MY OWN SHOULDER STUFFING.

DESPERATE, YES, BUT IDEAL FOR SMUDGING OFF PLANK'S MOUTH.

SMOOTH AS SILK.

AND LET'S NOT FORGET EDDY.

WHO ELSE WOULD SINK SO LOW

AS TO PIERCE OUR HEART OF FRIENDSHIP? CAD.

IGNORING THE BUTTERFLIES IN MY TUMMY,

I NEEDED TO PROTECT MY INNOCENCE.

SO I CHOSE A PATSY TO KEEP YOU LOSERS OFF MY TRAIL.

IN ENTERS ROLF,

WHOSE INSATIABLE APPETITE FOR MY JUJUBES

FIT SNUGLY INTO MY PLAN.

FEELING CREATIVE, I DECIDED TO TEASE AND TAUNT YOU WITH FALSE CLUES--

TIDBITS OF INFORMATION TO TICKLE YOUR NOSEY PARKER WAYS.

ARTFULLY, I STAGED EVERY DIVERSION.

LURING JONNY WITH AN INSIPID ACORN

WAS PURE GENIUS...

AS HE WOULD UNKNOWINGLY CEMENT MY FREEDOM FROM SIN.

THE JUJUBES REMAIN A CONSTANT THEME.

BUT WAS I SATISFIED? I SHOULD SAY NOT.

I PREPARED MYSELF FOR THE ENLISTMENT OF SOME HELP.

HAPPY TO SEE ME, THE CANKERS GREETED ME

WITH THEIR USUAL TACT OF POUNDING THE HECK OUT OF ME.

AS I WHEEZED MY PROPOSAL ABOUT YOU ROTTEN EGGS,

THEY AGREED, AND A DEAL WAS STRUCK.

I HAD GOOSE BUMPS AS I LAY THE TRAIL OF JUJUBES

THAT WOULD SEAL YOUR FATE.

IT WAS ALL I COULD DO TO CONTAIN THE EXCITEMENT IN THE AIR.

VENGEANCE WOULD BE MINE,

SO I PULLED MYSELF TOGETHER...

FOR MY FINAL PERFORMANCE...

AND NAILED YOUR BUTTS.

AAH!

[JIMMY LAUGHING]

Edd: HOW INGENIOUS.

WHAT?

A LITTLE LONG-WINDED, MIND YOU,

BUT ABSOLUTELY CUNNING.

[GROWLING]

IS IT LUNCH YET?

GET ME DOWN FROM HERE,

YOU ANKLE-BITING, FLUFFY-HAIRED, HALF-PINTED SQUIRT!

Jimmy: QUIET, BIG MOUTH!

I HAVE A DEAL TO COMPLETE.

WE AIM TO PLEASE.

UNDO THE REBELS, GIRLS!

CANKERS!

AAH! HA HA HA!

HA HA HA HA!

DON'T MESS WITH THE BEST, SUCKERS.

OOH! UNH!

OWIE!

ED, EDD N EDDY!

BL-BL-BL-BL-YEAH.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--