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1
00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:14,678
Coming!
2
00:00:15,815 --> 00:00:17,840
I'm coming as fast
as I can!
3
00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:20,044
Hey, 'sup, man?
4
00:00:20,153 --> 00:00:21,347
What's up, dude?
5
00:00:21,454 --> 00:00:22,580
Sorry, I'm late.
6
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:23,656
No problem.
7
00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,054
So, uh,
I'll go get my suit.
8
00:00:25,158 --> 00:00:26,284
Did you bring
the spare board?
9
00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:28,088
Oh, bro, no I didn't.
10
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:30,094
I forgot it,
but you know what -
11
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:32,289
I got something else
you can ride.
12
00:00:35,402 --> 00:00:37,563
Oh, dude,
I got you all wet.
13
00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:40,264
Maybe we should get you
out of those clothes, bro.
14
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,976
Dude... I got a girlfriend.
15
00:00:44,077 --> 00:00:46,375
She know you mess
around with dudes?
16
00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,640
Or are you just
some big closet case?
17
00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:51,080
Or maybe you're confused.
18
00:00:51,184 --> 00:00:54,642
Or maybe...
you like playing confused.
19
00:00:54,754 --> 00:00:57,052
I, I don't know, I--
20
00:00:57,157 --> 00:01:00,058
I, I don't know
what I am.
21
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,321
You're so sexy
when you stammer.
22
00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:07,161
You're good.
23
00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:11,795
Yeah, I play confused,
but don't get me wrong...
24
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:16,035
I'm straight...
Mostly.
25
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:22,176
Now, rip open my shirt.
26
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:24,614
Sir, yes sir.
27
00:01:24,717 --> 00:01:26,014
Strip.
28
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,115
Amateur.
29
00:01:38,998 --> 00:01:40,522
Less teeth, more tongue.
30
00:01:44,337 --> 00:01:45,861
This is how you do it.
31
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,733
That feels so good.
32
00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:51,774
God, I love your tits!
33
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:53,368
(female)
Stop calling them tits!
34
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,311
I could eat your tits all day.
35
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,045
Stop calling them tits.
36
00:01:58,151 --> 00:01:59,448
I love your tits.
37
00:01:59,552 --> 00:02:01,179
Stop calling them tits!
38
00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:04,950
Sorry, I love your breasts!
I wanna fuck your breasts!
39
00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:08,157
Shane... Sweetie.
40
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,563
Are you having that
gay fantasy again?
41
00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:17,532
Honey... it's not you, it's...
42
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,502
Well, it's you.
43
00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:23,335
What's wrong if I want
to see a little boy on boy
44
00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:24,603
in the bedroom?
45
00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:27,202
Nothing, I guess -
if you're a gay man.
46
00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:28,473
I'm close enough.
47
00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:30,310
But you can't expect me
to go gay every time
48
00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:31,747
you wanna have sex.
49
00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:35,912
I don't want you to be gay -
Just gay-er.
50
00:02:36,022 --> 00:02:40,288
So you want me to get it on with
another guy in front of you?
51
00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:44,056
Well, in front of,
on top of, yeah.
52
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:47,190
Gwen, I'm not gay.
I'm not bi.
53
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,894
I'm a heterosexual breeder.
And if you can't accept that,
54
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,597
then we probably
shouldn't be dating.
55
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,299
How can you be so homophobic?
56
00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:57,808
You're ridiculous!
57
00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:59,742
Don't even think
you're breaking up with me!
58
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,177
I'm breaking up with you.
59
00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:02,509
Huh?
60
00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:05,049
I've sat in millions of bedrooms
and listened to millions of boys
61
00:03:05,151 --> 00:03:06,778
tell me they're leaving
me for the pole.
62
00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:08,911
I'm not gonna sit here and have
one leave me for pussy.
63
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,011
What?
64
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,988
I'm leaving you, Shane!
65
00:03:12,091 --> 00:03:14,651
Go not suck all
the dick you want!
66
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,422
Yeah?
And you keep letting that
67
00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,394
pride parade march right on
through your crotch!
68
00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:19,430
Gay basher!
69
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:21,193
Tits! Tits! Tits! Tits! Tits!
70
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:43,684
Stop the spread of faggotry!
71
00:03:45,024 --> 00:03:46,821
Stop the spread of faggotry.
72
00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:50,287
Fag!
73
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:51,420
I wish!
74
00:03:56,703 --> 00:03:58,000
I told you this was
gonna happen!
75
00:03:58,104 --> 00:03:59,662
I know, Kyle!
That's all you said
76
00:03:59,772 --> 00:04:01,399
from day two!
"You're too hot, Marc!
77
00:04:01,507 --> 00:04:02,303
You're gonna leave me."
78
00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:03,841
And look how right I was.
79
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,579
You weren't right, Kyle.
80
00:04:08,681 --> 00:04:11,980
Your puppy dog eyes and goofy
charm turned me on.
81
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,450
But you wouldn't believe it.
82
00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:15,578
How could I believe it when
you flirt with everyone?
83
00:04:15,688 --> 00:04:19,920
I don't flirt with everyone;
I just like making friends.
84
00:04:20,026 --> 00:04:21,926
Did you have to
befriend every member
85
00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:24,758
of the gymnastics team
and Alpha Gamma Testes?
86
00:04:24,864 --> 00:04:26,388
God, it's like you're
only happy when you think
87
00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:28,763
you can't have me.
I wouldn't be jealous if you
88
00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:30,460
went out and made
some hot friends.
89
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,629
See!
I'm too boring for you!
90
00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:34,604
You want a boyfriend
who's all social and hangs out
91
00:04:34,707 --> 00:04:38,643
with confident, sophisticated
gods like... him.
92
00:04:39,178 --> 00:04:40,167
Hey, Sebastian.
93
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,247
Who's this?
94
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:42,371
Who are you?
95
00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:43,881
He's here
for emotional support.
96
00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:46,247
I'm supposed to be
your emotional support!
97
00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:47,819
You're too emotional.
98
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:54,988
Fags.
99
00:04:58,164 --> 00:05:00,189
So what, it's been about...
100
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,768
five days since you
last jerked off?
101
00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:05,303
Wow! You're good.
102
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:07,396
Thanks, Eric.
That was fun.
103
00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:08,735
Thank you, Teri.
104
00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:14,475
It's Tiffani.
And I think this is yours!
105
00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:20,348
Have fun fucking his puppy
dog eyes and goofy charm.
106
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,248
I hope someday you can
see past everything you don't
107
00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:29,226
like about yourself and realize
we had something special.
108
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,992
Wow, that was Hallmarky, Marc -
even for you.
109
00:05:37,303 --> 00:05:39,066
Stop the spread of faggotry.
110
00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:43,304
Stop the spread of faggotry.
111
00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:02,890
Okay, just because we used
to date the same loser
112
00:06:02,995 --> 00:06:05,691
doesn't mean we have to be
all cunty to each other.
113
00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:09,358
You're right.
Truce?
114
00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:12,399
I'm s--
115
00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:19,211
What's wrong?
116
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:23,276
I don't wanna
be a slut anymore.
117
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,078
I want a boyfriend!
118
00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:31,650
I just really wish
Caleb was still here.
119
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:34,090
Is that the heterosexual you
were trying to sleep with?
120
00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:37,629
No-- Well, yes, he was my
roommate who I used to want.
121
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:39,095
Your roommate dumped you?
122
00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:41,223
No, my boyfriend dumped me.
My roommate isn't here
123
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:42,858
to help me through this.
124
00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:44,903
So is your roommate the gay
one or the straight one?
125
00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:47,063
You're not listening to me.
My boyfriend's gay!
126
00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:48,731
And not just that -
he's the hottest gay
127
00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:50,172
I will ever make it with!
128
00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:52,301
Honey, you're gonna make it
with plenty of hotties.
129
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,107
It's not even that.
He's gonna find a new
130
00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:55,908
boyfriend first
and I'm gonna be alone.
131
00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:57,778
You won't be alone.
132
00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:00,614
There are plenty
of rainbow fish in the sea.
133
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:01,652
Ha, ha.
134
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,415
Plenty of cocks
in the henhouse.
135
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:04,387
Mom!
136
00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:06,151
Plenty of freshmen ass
in the locker room.
137
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,351
Eww! Mom!
138
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:10,657
Kyle, I am really trying here.
139
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:13,994
I know, Mom.
Thanks.
140
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,795
Do you know what it's
like to be a gay man
141
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:17,529
trapped in a woman's body?
142
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:19,332
My God, you have no idea.
143
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,304
Well, there's like five
gay men trapped inside of me.
144
00:07:21,407 --> 00:07:23,170
And they're all greasy and
having sex with each other,
145
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,608
just trying to...
fuck their way out.
146
00:07:25,711 --> 00:07:27,804
Send me an X-ray.
147
00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:29,973
Why are you being
all Fiona Apple?
148
00:07:30,082 --> 00:07:31,344
I broke up with Shane.
149
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,315
He's single?
150
00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:34,045
Hands off, cockmonger.
151
00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:35,643
I'm kidding.
152
00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:38,622
What is with straight guys and
their aversion to sucking dick?
153
00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:40,055
I just got dumped.
154
00:07:40,159 --> 00:07:42,593
What is with gay guys wanting
to suck everyone's dick?
155
00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:44,356
Yeah, I heard.
I'm so sorry.
156
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,522
Thanks.
157
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:47,861
Sorry you're a psychopath.
I say this with my trademark
158
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:50,060
sweetness, but you do know that
Marc was the best thing
159
00:07:50,169 --> 00:07:51,363
that will ever
happen to you?
160
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,529
Hey, I'm a catch!
161
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:53,935
Says who?
Your mom?
162
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,736
Other people do, too!
163
00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:01,174
I just... I want to hear,
"I love you,"
164
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,646
instead of "Take it,
you tight little snatch."
165
00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:05,984
Hi, Mr. Thompson.
166
00:08:06,085 --> 00:08:08,679
Tiffani - oh, I love your
pastel paisley halter
167
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:10,415
with the chiffon
inlet overlay.
168
00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:12,218
My wife has one
just like it.
169
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,793
Okay, class - fingertips!
170
00:08:14,894 --> 00:08:19,331
I don't know how many of you are
sick to death of still life,
171
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:22,367
but if I see another fruit,
I'm gonna have a hissy!
172
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:26,701
I think it's time
we try something
173
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:30,403
a little more... dangerous.
174
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,843
Class, meet Troy.
175
00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:40,149
Ta da!
176
00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:46,288
Troy's gonna model
for us today... nude.
177
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:51,319
Troy is a veterinary major
who has just moved here, fresh,
178
00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:54,194
from a little town
in Illinois known as...
179
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:59,567
oh, Troy.
Troy, from Troy.
180
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:02,869
My parents didn't want me
to forget where I was from.
181
00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:04,374
How rustic!
182
00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:05,569
He's got an accent.
183
00:09:05,678 --> 00:09:07,111
He looks like he's spent
his life bailing hay
184
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,238
and... milking things.
185
00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:10,713
He looks like sex.
186
00:09:10,816 --> 00:09:13,842
Well, um, Troy...
from Illinois -
187
00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:19,317
whenever you feel inspired.
188
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:25,393
I uh--
189
00:09:31,103 --> 00:09:33,867
So, where do you want me?
190
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:36,100
On my face.
191
00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:39,411
Right here on my desk
and we'll get you
192
00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:41,946
in several different positions.
193
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:44,778
Missionary,
Reverse Cowgirl, 69...
194
00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:46,283
Chalks to paper!
195
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:50,921
Oops!
196
00:09:51,023 --> 00:09:52,513
Dropped it!
197
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:55,059
Guess I'll have to--
No, let me!
198
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:58,756
I don't want you to...
ruin anybody's art by moving.
199
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,758
Hi.
200
00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:09,298
Nice to meet you.
201
00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:11,308
Same here.
202
00:10:12,645 --> 00:10:15,478
I'm just gonna...
203
00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:23,317
I wanna hit that harder
than Ike hit Tina.
204
00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:25,617
I wanna be wrapped in
his arms forever and ever.
205
00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:28,193
I wanna see him get it on
with his boyfriend.
206
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,659
You think he's gay?
207
00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:31,627
Does Whitney want crack?
208
00:10:38,604 --> 00:10:39,628
Hey there!
209
00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:41,502
I didn't recognize you
without your penis!
210
00:10:41,607 --> 00:10:43,666
I had to leave it there -
school property and all.
211
00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:44,970
I'm Gwen.
212
00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:46,669
The girl with the big
boobs is Tiffani,
213
00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:47,768
and the guy
with the small--
214
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:48,778
I'm Kyle.
215
00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:49,905
Troy.
216
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:50,983
From Troy--
217
00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:52,675
Illinois.
218
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:54,946
Ooh, are those your drawings?
219
00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:57,045
Yeah.
This is mine.
220
00:10:57,156 --> 00:11:00,353
That's Kyle's...
and... Tiffani's.
221
00:11:00,459 --> 00:11:04,293
I've never drawn one before
so I figured I'd focus on it.
222
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,989
You're very generous.
223
00:11:06,098 --> 00:11:07,531
I'm a giver.
224
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:09,426
This one's incredible.
225
00:11:09,535 --> 00:11:10,729
Thanks.
226
00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:12,599
You just... spoke to me.
227
00:11:12,705 --> 00:11:13,831
Are you an art major?
228
00:11:13,939 --> 00:11:15,065
No.
229
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:17,005
She's undeclared, which is
practically the same thing.
230
00:11:17,109 --> 00:11:19,009
Well, you should be.
231
00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:21,341
How'd you get into
nude modeling?
232
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:23,210
Well, I grew up
in the country.
233
00:11:23,315 --> 00:11:25,283
No one's around so I'd
just go naked a lot.
234
00:11:25,384 --> 00:11:26,646
Then I bought a webcam.
235
00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:28,049
I'm so Googling you.
236
00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:29,644
When I moved here and found
out I could get paid
237
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:32,087
to hang out naked,
I was like, sign me up!
238
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:34,557
Next stop: porn!
239
00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:36,389
How much does that
ass of yours bring in?
240
00:11:36,495 --> 00:11:38,053
Fifty bucks a class.
241
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:39,961
Porn pays way better.
242
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,465
Well, I'd be just as
likely to do it
243
00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:42,864
for a case of beer,
or weed.
244
00:11:42,968 --> 00:11:44,333
Noted.
245
00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:45,597
When did you move here?
246
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:46,763
A couple weeks ago.
247
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:47,930
All by your lonesome?
248
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,166
Yeah.
249
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:51,266
I'll bet it was great
to start all over -
250
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,242
where no one knows your
name and you can do
251
00:11:53,345 --> 00:11:55,939
anything you want
with whomever you want.
252
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:59,347
Yeah, I guess.
Kinda miss my mom.
253
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,283
So, you're close to your mom?
254
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:04,117
I miss both my parents,
but there's something
255
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:05,417
about a mom, you know?
256
00:12:05,524 --> 00:12:08,015
A boy needs none other
than the love of his mother.
257
00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:09,890
Uh, yeah.
258
00:12:09,995 --> 00:12:12,463
We were gonna grab some coffee.
Wanna come?
259
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,965
I gotta get home.
But thanks for the offer.
260
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:16,432
Maybe some other time?
261
00:12:16,535 --> 00:12:18,332
Someone waiting
for you at home?
262
00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:20,428
My roommate.
263
00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:22,666
He's secretly in love with me.
264
00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:25,875
See you in class.
Keep up the good work.
265
00:12:25,978 --> 00:12:28,674
Keep up the good... penis!
266
00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:33,009
I totally thought he was a
'mo until he made that lame,
267
00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:34,586
straight guy joke.
268
00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:37,019
He's an enigma fucking a riddle
fucking a mystery.
269
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:38,818
I love being single.
270
00:12:39,558 --> 00:12:40,855
Stop the spread of faggotry.
271
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,986
But spreading
is my favorite thing.
272
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:45,961
I'll be praying for you.
273
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:01,904
(Gwen)
Hold that pose!
274
00:13:02,915 --> 00:13:04,974
Would you boys
do me a favor?
275
00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:07,211
Sit there
for a minute... or 20
276
00:13:07,319 --> 00:13:08,843
But I want him
out of here in five.
277
00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,683
What's her story?
278
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,725
I used to flirt with this one,
but we never did anything
279
00:13:13,826 --> 00:13:16,158
because I wasn't available.
280
00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:18,127
So we're gonna
make up for lost time.
281
00:13:20,933 --> 00:13:22,423
Man whore!
282
00:13:24,403 --> 00:13:25,802
Lucky bastard.
283
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,033
See that guy over there?
284
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:30,199
The studly rack of meat
or your loser ex-boyfriend?
285
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,140
The meat rack.
Marc pre-cheated with him -
286
00:13:32,244 --> 00:13:33,768
and with a couple of
other guys, too.
287
00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:34,846
Pre-cheated?
288
00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:36,209
It's this thing
that gays do.
289
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,976
The moment the relationship
starts getting a little rocky,
290
00:13:38,083 --> 00:13:40,017
they start lining up
replacement sex partners.
291
00:13:40,119 --> 00:13:41,245
The second they're
single it's,
292
00:13:41,353 --> 00:13:43,321
"Hey remember me?
You want some head?"
293
00:13:43,422 --> 00:13:45,413
Your boyfriend's far
too creampuff to cheat.
294
00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:47,617
I didn't say he cheated.
He pre-cheated.
295
00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:48,886
God, you're paranoid.
296
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,086
I know how his mind works.
297
00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:51,823
If I were hot enough
I'd do the same thing.
298
00:13:51,931 --> 00:13:53,762
I guess it's over.
299
00:13:54,266 --> 00:13:55,426
Look what I found!
300
00:13:55,534 --> 00:13:56,228
Hey!
301
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:57,734
- Troy!
- Nude guy!
302
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,361
So, Troy, the three of us
are falling behind
303
00:13:59,471 --> 00:14:02,304
in art class
and we were wondering...
304
00:14:04,143 --> 00:14:06,043
Do you have a preference?
305
00:14:11,550 --> 00:14:13,450
See, it works.
306
00:14:13,552 --> 00:14:15,543
Now take off
your clothes, damn it!
307
00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:17,881
This is kinda weird.
308
00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:20,083
No, we're just gonna draw.
Really.
309
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:25,360
So, did you leave someone
special back home?
310
00:14:25,464 --> 00:14:26,522
Nope.
311
00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:27,690
That's probably good.
312
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:28,858
Yep.
313
00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:30,299
I've always wondered
what it would be like
314
00:14:30,402 --> 00:14:32,029
to live on a farm.
I mean,
315
00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:33,900
what did you do for fun?
316
00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:36,600
Mostly we'd drive
around the strip on weekends,
317
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,576
or throw parties
in some field.
318
00:14:39,678 --> 00:14:42,647
I always liked the idea of being
out among all the nature.
319
00:14:42,748 --> 00:14:44,716
Getting fucked in a rainstorm,
320
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:46,409
or getting fucked on a tractor,
321
00:14:46,518 --> 00:14:47,849
or getting--
322
00:14:47,953 --> 00:14:50,080
Well, I can't say
I did all that.
323
00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:51,588
Well, where did
you get fucked?
324
00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:53,658
I dunno.
In the regular places -
325
00:14:53,759 --> 00:14:55,693
a bed, in my car.
326
00:14:55,794 --> 00:14:57,091
In the ass?
327
00:14:57,196 --> 00:14:58,424
Excuse me?
328
00:14:58,530 --> 00:15:01,431
Oops!
I mean, boys or girls?
329
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:05,728
I'm sorry - if you don't
wanna talk about this--
330
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:08,102
No, it's okay, I guess.
331
00:15:08,207 --> 00:15:11,768
Girls... mostly.
332
00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:14,941
What?
Does that freak you out?
333
00:15:15,047 --> 00:15:18,073
No, honey.
I'm what they call a "fag hag."
334
00:15:18,183 --> 00:15:20,083
So you are gay then!
I am--
335
00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:22,050
I'm not gay.
It's just--
336
00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:26,181
Well, all kinds of people
hit on me and I just kinda
337
00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:27,554
go along with it.
338
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,093
What the hell
does that mean?
339
00:15:29,194 --> 00:15:31,890
I like it.
I mean, we're just people -
340
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:35,057
just bodies
with organic needs--
341
00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:36,725
So, did you ever
have a girlfriend?
342
00:15:36,835 --> 00:15:37,733
Sort of.
343
00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:39,861
What about boyfriends?
344
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:43,271
I had this really close
friend in high school.
345
00:15:43,375 --> 00:15:46,833
But I never done much with a
guy because I wanna get married
346
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,880
and have kids.
Not that gay guys can't,
347
00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:53,816
'cause they can, it's just...
I dunno.
348
00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:56,444
Being gay, it seems
like so much work.
349
00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:57,988
Amen, sister.
350
00:15:58,090 --> 00:15:59,318
I mean, first you have
to tell everyone.
351
00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:00,585
That's no fun.
352
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:02,092
- And then there's rejection.
- You're never hot enough.
353
00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:04,162
- STDs.
- If you're lucky.
354
00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:07,027
There's this group, Coming In.
I kinda wanna go check 'em out,
355
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:09,032
'cause I think
they might fix me.
356
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,328
The anti-gays?
357
00:16:10,436 --> 00:16:11,664
Ex-gays.
358
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:13,965
Just like you, Kyle.
Right?
359
00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:16,132
- What?
- What?
360
00:16:16,241 --> 00:16:18,937
Kyle used to be gay.
You two should hang out,
361
00:16:19,044 --> 00:16:22,536
get to know each other,
swap... stories.
362
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,309
You're an ex-gay?
363
00:16:26,218 --> 00:16:29,278
Well...
364
00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:31,720
You're like my idol!
I totally just want to get
365
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,291
inside you
and learn everything.
366
00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:34,950
Uhh...
367
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:37,187
Oh my God...
368
00:16:38,797 --> 00:16:41,493
You two are together, right?
369
00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:47,563
Yes!
We're boyfriend and girlfriend!
370
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,300
I knew it!
371
00:16:49,408 --> 00:16:51,433
You're always together,
but I wasn't sure.
372
00:16:51,543 --> 00:16:53,909
It must've been the fact
that I act so faggy?
373
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,880
And you're really
straight now?
374
00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:00,641
As a cucumber.
375
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:03,153
God, no wonder I felt so
comfortable with you two!
376
00:17:03,255 --> 00:17:05,052
How long have you been together?
377
00:17:05,157 --> 00:17:08,684
A few months.
And it's true love, isn't it,
378
00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:10,386
my little sex monkey?
379
00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:11,793
Ahh!
380
00:17:13,298 --> 00:17:15,027
And you're comfortable
that he used to...
381
00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:16,465
Smoke sausage?
382
00:17:16,568 --> 00:17:18,365
We've all got
skeletons in our closets.
383
00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:19,960
His are just
more well hung.
384
00:17:20,072 --> 00:17:21,232
And how's that
going for you?
385
00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:22,534
How do you think
it's going for him?
386
00:17:22,641 --> 00:17:23,972
Look at me, I'm perfect!
387
00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:26,067
Yeah.
She's awesome.
388
00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:29,306
Awww.
He especially loves my titties.
389
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:30,541
Breasts.
390
00:17:30,649 --> 00:17:32,549
So what are the
meetings like?
391
00:17:32,651 --> 00:17:36,143
Well, uh, I've never been
to this chapter.
392
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:39,656
Oh, my God, would you do me
the biggest favor?
393
00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:40,918
Of course I'd do you--
394
00:17:41,026 --> 00:17:42,584
You have to take me
to one of these meetings.
395
00:17:42,694 --> 00:17:43,820
There's one tomorrow.
396
00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:45,897
You could be my sponsor,
or whatever.
397
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:47,863
Do it, honey.
It might do you some good
398
00:17:47,966 --> 00:17:50,230
to renew your vows
to heterosexuality.
399
00:17:50,335 --> 00:17:52,565
Not that he doesn't
ride me every night.
400
00:17:55,841 --> 00:17:57,138
Okay.
401
00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:58,539
It's a date!
402
00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,942
I'll be right back.
I have to go use the head.
403
00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:06,212
What the hell just happened?
404
00:18:06,318 --> 00:18:08,115
We just got you laid
by Troy from Illinois!
405
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:09,778
You made me an ex-gay!
406
00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:11,617
Those are my least
favorite kind of gays!
407
00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:13,247
Grow some nuts.
Do you think he would have been
408
00:18:13,358 --> 00:18:16,020
remotely interested if you were
just another gay guy?
409
00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:18,221
Listen to me.
I don't have a chance
410
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:20,195
in this godforsaken world
of ever wrapping my lips
411
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:21,766
around his forty acres
and a mule -
412
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:23,164
But you do.
413
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,758
So, you're saying he'll
let me have sex with him
414
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:26,394
because I'm not gay?
415
00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:27,904
You heard him.
You'll be his new
416
00:18:28,006 --> 00:18:30,770
"close friend."
Since you're straight,
417
00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:32,605
you'll get to
hang out with him.
418
00:18:32,711 --> 00:18:34,941
You'll support him in those
straight emo bonding ways
419
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:40,508
until eventually all his
repressed passion explodes.
420
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:43,213
Right down your throat.
421
00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:45,654
This is sick!
You're both sick!
422
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:48,792
You think it could work?
423
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,333
Damn!
424
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,598
Hey!
425
00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:02,606
No way.
426
00:19:03,442 --> 00:19:04,636
I'm so nervous.
427
00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:06,005
It's okay.
You'll be fine.
428
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:10,406
What are you doing?
429
00:19:10,516 --> 00:19:12,040
Straight male bonding,
step one.
430
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:33,326
Hi.
431
00:19:33,438 --> 00:19:34,632
Hi.
432
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:35,729
I'm Octavio--
433
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,468
Octavio!
434
00:19:37,576 --> 00:19:39,441
Introductions lead
to conversations
435
00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:41,103
lead to invitations
of intercourse
436
00:19:41,213 --> 00:19:42,805
with the wrong persuasion.
437
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,576
I'll do the introducing.
438
00:19:45,784 --> 00:19:47,308
What the hell
do you want?
439
00:19:47,419 --> 00:19:49,284
We want to join.
440
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,379
I find that hard to believe.
441
00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:52,514
Maybe we shouldn't--
442
00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:54,023
God believes me.
443
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:55,491
Well, I did pray for you.
444
00:19:55,594 --> 00:19:56,618
I know.
445
00:19:56,728 --> 00:19:57,820
Spooky.
446
00:19:57,930 --> 00:20:00,660
I'm Jacob Buchanan,
Coming In president.
447
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:04,759
This is Derek,
Allan, Roy, and...
448
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,132
Violet.
449
00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:07,262
Violet.
450
00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:08,236
I'm Kyle.
451
00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:09,204
- And--
- Troy.
452
00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:10,639
Hi, Troy.
453
00:20:10,742 --> 00:20:12,573
Hello, Kyle.
454
00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:15,010
You do know what we're
all about here, right?
455
00:20:15,113 --> 00:20:16,444
At Coming In?
456
00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:19,210
Well, yeah, but he doesn't
need to be here.
457
00:20:19,318 --> 00:20:21,548
He's a success story.
458
00:20:23,322 --> 00:20:26,951
Kyle's renouncing his sexuality?
What's going on?
459
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,424
Are you sitting down?
460
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:31,962
Now, who'd like to speak first?
Okay, I will.
461
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:35,329
I have great news that will
change all of our lives.
462
00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:38,892
I've been asked to present
the new ad campaign
463
00:20:39,004 --> 00:20:41,268
for Coming In National.
464
00:20:41,373 --> 00:20:43,773
The board of directors,
including my mom,
465
00:20:43,875 --> 00:20:47,038
is gonna be here next week, and
if they like my presentation,
466
00:20:47,145 --> 00:20:50,774
which they will, you'll see my
posters in high schools
467
00:20:50,882 --> 00:20:54,249
and college campuses
across the nation.
468
00:20:55,020 --> 00:21:00,652
"Homo No More.
Stop the Spread of Faggotry!"
469
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:02,454
Now I need you
to repeat this slogan
470
00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:04,859
to every student across campus.
471
00:21:04,963 --> 00:21:09,059
"Homo No More" is gonna become
a national catch phrase.
472
00:21:09,167 --> 00:21:11,533
Like "Can you hear me now?"
473
00:21:11,637 --> 00:21:14,470
Yes, only more clever.
474
00:21:14,573 --> 00:21:17,133
So let's have a testimonial.
Who wants to start?
475
00:21:23,482 --> 00:21:25,177
I sucked a dick.
476
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,081
Shut up, are you serious?
477
00:21:27,185 --> 00:21:28,345
Like a fox.
478
00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:29,511
That's fabulous.
479
00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:31,384
What was it like?
Details.
480
00:21:31,490 --> 00:21:33,924
Tell us how it made
you feel, Violet.
481
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:37,962
Well, I got really trashed
at the Up With Jesus kegger,
482
00:21:38,063 --> 00:21:41,999
and this skinny guy with dyed-
black hair and lipstick
483
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:46,002
asked if I wanted to do one of
those upside down keg shooters.
484
00:21:46,104 --> 00:21:48,163
They started playing
"My Chemical Romance,"
485
00:21:48,273 --> 00:21:52,004
so I took that as
a sign, downed half the keg,
486
00:21:52,110 --> 00:21:54,943
and before I knew it, we're in
the back of his mom's Saab,
487
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:58,505
I'm choking on his dick,
my makeup's smearing
488
00:21:58,617 --> 00:22:00,915
and I'm about to puke.
489
00:22:01,019 --> 00:22:02,509
It was great.
490
00:22:03,388 --> 00:22:07,347
I watched porn...
straight porn.
491
00:22:07,459 --> 00:22:10,724
And I made sure it was Ron
Jeremy so I wouldn't focus on...
492
00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:12,194
Yeah.
493
00:22:13,131 --> 00:22:14,723
And it was hot.
494
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:17,097
Good, good.
495
00:22:17,202 --> 00:22:19,830
Allan?
How are things going with...
496
00:22:19,938 --> 00:22:22,532
was her name Leslie?
497
00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:25,132
I think so, yeah.
498
00:22:25,243 --> 00:22:27,268
We went on a date.
499
00:22:27,379 --> 00:22:29,108
And what happened
on this date?
500
00:22:29,214 --> 00:22:31,307
We went to this cute
little Italian restaurant,
501
00:22:31,416 --> 00:22:32,678
service was great--
502
00:22:32,784 --> 00:22:34,718
No, I meant physically.
503
00:22:34,820 --> 00:22:39,314
Well... after dinner
we went back to her dorm.
504
00:22:39,424 --> 00:22:40,857
Were you nervous?
505
00:22:40,959 --> 00:22:42,085
Oh, yeah.
506
00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:43,559
Turned on?
507
00:22:43,662 --> 00:22:46,028
I'm trusting at some point
you got turned on, right?
508
00:22:46,131 --> 00:22:50,329
Oh, yeah... yeah.
509
00:22:50,435 --> 00:22:53,962
Totally... turned on.
510
00:22:54,072 --> 00:22:55,801
Rock hard.
511
00:22:55,907 --> 00:22:57,932
Tell me about that.
512
00:23:00,145 --> 00:23:01,874
Let's see.
513
00:23:01,980 --> 00:23:04,574
We sat on her bed
and she showed me this photo
514
00:23:04,683 --> 00:23:07,743
album of this Japanese
internment camp she'd visited,
515
00:23:07,853 --> 00:23:11,550
and we were balancing
the book on our legs.
516
00:23:11,656 --> 00:23:17,492
And her knee grazed my knee,
and that kind of got me going.
517
00:23:17,596 --> 00:23:19,496
And then?
518
00:23:19,598 --> 00:23:21,566
Then?
519
00:23:23,101 --> 00:23:26,002
She jumped on top of me.
520
00:23:26,104 --> 00:23:27,628
Really!
521
00:23:27,739 --> 00:23:29,969
And I let her
kiss me and stuff.
522
00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:32,009
Good, good!
523
00:23:32,110 --> 00:23:34,101
Did she go for second base?
524
00:23:34,212 --> 00:23:36,339
Run her hands up
and down your smooth chest
525
00:23:36,448 --> 00:23:38,313
underneath your shirt?
526
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:39,941
A little.
527
00:23:41,052 --> 00:23:43,520
That might not count.
Why don't you show me?
528
00:23:47,192 --> 00:23:49,387
Like this, I guess.
529
00:23:54,232 --> 00:23:55,631
But never the nipples?
530
00:23:55,734 --> 00:23:56,996
No.
531
00:23:57,102 --> 00:23:59,263
On this "date,"
did you think about men?
532
00:23:59,371 --> 00:24:00,599
No.
533
00:24:00,705 --> 00:24:01,865
Never?
534
00:24:01,973 --> 00:24:03,941
What about your
locker room fantasy?
535
00:24:04,042 --> 00:24:05,737
Thrusting jock straps?
536
00:24:05,844 --> 00:24:08,404
Towels snapping
at your ass?
537
00:24:08,513 --> 00:24:11,038
I never said
anything about towels.
538
00:24:11,783 --> 00:24:14,308
Well, next week's assignment -
539
00:24:14,419 --> 00:24:17,149
and I'm holding you to this -
is third base.
540
00:24:17,255 --> 00:24:19,155
But what about the girl?
541
00:24:19,257 --> 00:24:20,246
Leslie?
542
00:24:20,358 --> 00:24:21,655
Yeah, Leslie.
543
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,352
Shouldn't I respect her
and stuff?
544
00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:25,828
Don't worry.
She's not gonna get pregnant.
545
00:24:25,931 --> 00:24:30,197
All I'm asking for is
one finger in her bush.
546
00:24:31,903 --> 00:24:34,997
So, I'm fascinated to hear
your guys' stories.
547
00:24:35,106 --> 00:24:37,370
I'm not ready to talk yet...
548
00:24:37,476 --> 00:24:40,138
but Kyle here's
got a hot girlfriend.
549
00:24:40,245 --> 00:24:42,543
They can't keep their
hands off each other.
550
00:24:43,381 --> 00:24:45,645
You have a girlfriend?
551
00:24:45,750 --> 00:24:46,774
Mm-hm.
552
00:24:46,885 --> 00:24:48,011
And you used to be gay?
553
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:49,211
Yeah.
554
00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:51,118
Well, why don't you
tell us, Kyle?
555
00:24:51,223 --> 00:24:54,021
What brought about
this amazing change?
556
00:24:54,125 --> 00:24:57,026
Ummm... my story...
557
00:24:57,128 --> 00:25:00,188
Just speak from the heart -
like Jesus would.
558
00:25:02,567 --> 00:25:06,697
Well... I was
pretty much born gay.
559
00:25:06,805 --> 00:25:08,204
Mom said my first
sentence was,
560
00:25:08,306 --> 00:25:10,035
"Get those boobs
out of my face."
561
00:25:10,141 --> 00:25:14,601
So... anyway, I lived the gay
lifestyle for a while.
562
00:25:14,713 --> 00:25:18,080
And I dated a lot of guys...
563
00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:22,449
A lot of guys.
564
00:25:22,554 --> 00:25:24,818
Just... mens and mens
and mens.
565
00:25:24,923 --> 00:25:26,948
I mean, they were
calling me all the time!
566
00:25:27,058 --> 00:25:29,253
"Kyle, please have sex with me.
Please!"
567
00:25:29,361 --> 00:25:30,658
I was so popular--
568
00:25:30,762 --> 00:25:32,730
But then it began
to take its toll.
569
00:25:32,831 --> 00:25:35,925
See, you realized the gays,
they're not interested
570
00:25:36,034 --> 00:25:37,592
in getting to know you.
571
00:25:37,702 --> 00:25:39,932
No, as soon as you
put out, they vanish.
572
00:25:40,038 --> 00:25:41,767
And then they never call
you back when they say
573
00:25:41,873 --> 00:25:43,636
they're gonna call you back
because they're out
574
00:25:43,742 --> 00:25:47,109
with some stud when they say
they should be in class!
575
00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:50,242
I wouldn't say that.
576
00:25:50,348 --> 00:25:52,475
Well then what exactly
would you say, Kyle?
577
00:25:52,584 --> 00:25:55,485
What brought about
this amazing transformation?
578
00:25:57,289 --> 00:26:00,918
Well, I got fed up...
with the men and the sex
579
00:26:01,026 --> 00:26:04,985
and the fun and music
and the apple martinis -
580
00:26:05,096 --> 00:26:07,223
and just when I didn't know
what else to do
581
00:26:07,332 --> 00:26:10,028
an angel from heaven above
flew into my life.
582
00:26:10,135 --> 00:26:15,402
A sexy, 52-24-48
angel named Tiffani.
583
00:26:15,507 --> 00:26:17,134
Is Tiffani a rhinoceros?
584
00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:18,903
Size doesn't matter.
What matters is that
585
00:26:19,010 --> 00:26:21,501
I fell in love
and I never looked back.
586
00:26:25,650 --> 00:26:27,641
But what about the sex?
587
00:26:27,752 --> 00:26:29,049
Piece of cake.
I just say,
588
00:26:29,154 --> 00:26:31,645
"Kyle, take everything you love
about Reese Witherspoon
589
00:26:31,756 --> 00:26:34,782
and project it onto this girl
who wants to be with you."
590
00:26:34,893 --> 00:26:36,520
And now they can't get enough.
591
00:26:36,628 --> 00:26:37,856
That's incredible.
592
00:26:37,963 --> 00:26:39,453
Yeah, 'cause you seem
really gay.
593
00:26:39,564 --> 00:26:41,031
Not anymore.
I'm telling you,
594
00:26:41,132 --> 00:26:43,566
there's nothing like
the smooth, wet porcelain lips
595
00:26:43,668 --> 00:26:46,603
of the vagina spreading
and enveloping me,
596
00:26:46,705 --> 00:26:50,607
squeezing against the head
of my dick ever so firmly.
597
00:26:50,709 --> 00:26:53,200
And that's nothing compared
to what it feels like
598
00:26:53,311 --> 00:26:58,476
to eat her out and lap up
all those fresh juices.
599
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,583
We look forward to
seeing you both again.
600
00:27:06,691 --> 00:27:09,216
Well, we both look forward
to coming... with girls.
601
00:27:09,327 --> 00:27:11,158
Little Ex-gay joke.
602
00:27:11,262 --> 00:27:13,560
Jesus and I will be
keeping an eye on you.
603
00:27:13,665 --> 00:27:15,155
Hey...
604
00:27:15,266 --> 00:27:17,257
Stop the spread of faggotry!
605
00:27:18,536 --> 00:27:19,798
That was fun!
606
00:27:19,904 --> 00:27:21,030
That was nerve-racking.
607
00:27:21,139 --> 00:27:22,470
Yeah, you were sweating
like a suicide bomber
608
00:27:22,574 --> 00:27:24,098
on a summer jihad.
609
00:27:24,209 --> 00:27:28,202
I love your... sense of humor.
610
00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:30,907
Man, you really
dig your pussy.
611
00:27:31,016 --> 00:27:33,450
Yeah.
So what're you up to now?
612
00:27:33,551 --> 00:27:35,917
I gotta go model for
Mr. Thompson's art class.
613
00:27:36,021 --> 00:27:39,422
Hey, are we still on
for tomorrow's game?
614
00:27:39,524 --> 00:27:41,992
Goooo... local sports team!
615
00:28:07,252 --> 00:28:09,049
This must be the right place.
616
00:28:09,154 --> 00:28:10,416
Oh, hey.
617
00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:12,046
Hey.
I'm Marc -
618
00:28:12,157 --> 00:28:14,887
Professor Thompson's
next top model.
619
00:28:14,993 --> 00:28:17,518
But I use the word
top loosely.
620
00:28:17,629 --> 00:28:19,062
Wow, great body.
621
00:28:19,164 --> 00:28:20,722
Yeah, I know.
622
00:28:20,832 --> 00:28:22,129
I meant you.
623
00:28:22,233 --> 00:28:24,030
Oh, thanks.
624
00:28:24,135 --> 00:28:25,864
You're supposed to wear
it over your shoulders.
625
00:28:25,970 --> 00:28:26,994
What?
626
00:28:27,105 --> 00:28:28,333
The robe.
627
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,533
Oh... yeah.
628
00:28:30,642 --> 00:28:33,668
Did you want some privacy?
'Cause I could come back.
629
00:28:33,778 --> 00:28:35,211
Ah, no.
630
00:28:35,313 --> 00:28:36,905
I'm gonna be naked
in front of like 15 people.
631
00:28:37,015 --> 00:28:38,141
You're easy.
632
00:28:38,249 --> 00:28:39,910
How would you know?
633
00:28:40,018 --> 00:28:41,883
No, I--
634
00:28:41,986 --> 00:28:44,853
Anyway, we're gonna be
naked in front of 15 people.
635
00:28:44,956 --> 00:28:46,890
- Huh?
- We're posing together.
636
00:28:46,991 --> 00:28:48,982
- Seriously?
- You got a problem with that?
637
00:28:49,094 --> 00:28:55,090
No.
Of course not.
638
00:28:56,034 --> 00:28:57,524
Are you gay?
639
00:28:57,635 --> 00:28:59,193
Well, yeah.
640
00:28:59,304 --> 00:29:00,566
You got a problem
with that?
641
00:29:00,672 --> 00:29:02,731
No.
I don't have a--
642
00:29:02,841 --> 00:29:05,674
I mean, you're not straight,
are you?
643
00:29:05,777 --> 00:29:07,642
Well--
644
00:29:07,746 --> 00:29:10,909
Oh my heck, who are you?
645
00:29:11,015 --> 00:29:14,348
Uh... I'm Marc, your model.
646
00:29:14,452 --> 00:29:17,182
You are?
What about him?
647
00:29:17,288 --> 00:29:19,688
You didn't request
two models for today?
648
00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:22,316
I have the student services
req in here.
649
00:29:22,427 --> 00:29:23,451
Nice.
650
00:29:23,561 --> 00:29:25,119
- What?
- What?
651
00:29:25,230 --> 00:29:27,824
I can't find it.
I mean, I guess if you don't
652
00:29:27,932 --> 00:29:30,662
need two nudes today,
I can leave.
653
00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:33,567
Oh, no!
Yeah, yeah--
654
00:29:33,671 --> 00:29:39,132
I do need both models...
nude... in five minutes.
655
00:29:40,078 --> 00:29:42,046
I'd forget head if
it wasn't on top of me.
656
00:29:42,147 --> 00:29:43,239
What?
657
00:29:43,348 --> 00:29:48,411
Uh-- I'd forget my head
if it wasn't on top of me.
658
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,546
My wife is always
correcting my grammar.
659
00:29:51,656 --> 00:29:55,148
You know, I'm...
Uh... I'm married.
660
00:29:57,796 --> 00:30:01,129
OK.
You guys carry on.
661
00:30:01,232 --> 00:30:04,599
I'll, uh... get to class.
662
00:30:09,274 --> 00:30:11,401
So what's your name again?
663
00:30:11,509 --> 00:30:14,171
Troy.
And you're Marc.
664
00:30:14,279 --> 00:30:18,375
With a c.
Pretty gay, huh?
665
00:30:20,752 --> 00:30:23,050
Look dude, if you're worried
about me looking at your dick,
666
00:30:23,154 --> 00:30:26,089
I can turn around.
But don't sweat it.
667
00:30:26,191 --> 00:30:27,749
You're not my type.
668
00:30:27,859 --> 00:30:28,917
I'm not?
669
00:30:29,027 --> 00:30:30,085
No.
670
00:30:30,195 --> 00:30:31,287
Should you be?
671
00:30:31,396 --> 00:30:32,658
No, I guess not.
672
00:30:32,764 --> 00:30:34,823
I mean, you're hot and all,
but I like guys
673
00:30:34,933 --> 00:30:36,298
who can take charge.
674
00:30:37,802 --> 00:30:39,963
Plus your hair's too dark.
675
00:30:40,071 --> 00:30:41,732
And you're too tall.
676
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:44,070
Gee, thanks.
677
00:30:44,175 --> 00:30:45,506
Just being honest with you.
678
00:30:45,610 --> 00:30:47,339
I think it's great - types.
679
00:30:47,445 --> 00:30:49,606
I mean, if we all
wanted the same thing...
680
00:30:49,714 --> 00:30:51,841
might as well be straight.
681
00:30:52,784 --> 00:30:55,378
Maybe not everyone knows
what their type is.
682
00:30:55,486 --> 00:30:57,249
True enough.
683
00:30:57,355 --> 00:30:59,983
There was this one guy.
684
00:31:00,091 --> 00:31:03,060
This sounds stupid,
but when I met him,
685
00:31:03,161 --> 00:31:05,891
I sort of saw something
in his soul -
686
00:31:05,997 --> 00:31:08,227
like a light.
Physically he was nothing
687
00:31:08,333 --> 00:31:10,233
like any of the guys
I'd dated before,
688
00:31:10,335 --> 00:31:14,328
but when I saw that light,
I realized...
689
00:31:14,439 --> 00:31:16,600
this is my type, too.
690
00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:19,700
So I asked him out, eventually.
691
00:31:19,811 --> 00:31:21,278
That's deep.
692
00:31:21,379 --> 00:31:22,676
Fuck you.
693
00:31:22,780 --> 00:31:24,509
No, I'm serious.
694
00:31:24,616 --> 00:31:26,880
So whatever happened
to your soul man?
695
00:31:26,985 --> 00:31:29,010
Doesn't matter.
696
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:34,057
Anyway, that's...
ancient history.
697
00:31:36,594 --> 00:31:38,323
Hey, you need a
workout buddy?
698
00:31:38,429 --> 00:31:39,760
Yeah.
699
00:31:40,865 --> 00:31:42,492
(Kyle)
This feels horrible.
700
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:44,067
Stop shaking your
ass so much.
701
00:31:44,168 --> 00:31:45,567
No, I mean lying to Troy.
702
00:31:45,670 --> 00:31:48,833
Honey, men lie.
And you're a man, technically.
703
00:31:48,940 --> 00:31:50,498
Well, tonight you
better not forget to--
704
00:31:50,608 --> 00:31:51,836
Fuck!
705
00:31:51,943 --> 00:31:53,205
Honey, I never forget to fuck.
706
00:31:53,311 --> 00:31:54,903
No, fuck!
As in--
707
00:31:55,013 --> 00:31:56,503
Kyle!
708
00:31:56,614 --> 00:31:58,809
Hey, boys.
What's up?
709
00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:00,942
Oh, you two know Marc?
710
00:32:01,052 --> 00:32:02,849
I used to have
a big crush on Kyle.
711
00:32:02,954 --> 00:32:04,251
Didn't I?
712
00:32:04,355 --> 00:32:06,220
But he's not
your type at all.
713
00:32:06,324 --> 00:32:08,224
So, how do you two
know each other?
714
00:32:08,326 --> 00:32:09,953
Oh, we got naked
together last night.
715
00:32:10,061 --> 00:32:11,050
What?!
716
00:32:11,162 --> 00:32:12,754
We both model
for Mr. Thompson.
717
00:32:12,864 --> 00:32:14,559
Wow, he's a regular
Gus Van Sant.
718
00:32:14,666 --> 00:32:16,293
Can I talk to you
for a second?
719
00:32:18,269 --> 00:32:20,294
You haven't
fucked him yet.
720
00:32:20,405 --> 00:32:22,339
Hey, I don't treat people
like pieces of meat.
721
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:23,805
You should.
It's fun.
722
00:32:23,908 --> 00:32:25,569
You do know he's gay, right?
723
00:32:25,677 --> 00:32:27,611
Oh God, I'm sorry.
724
00:32:27,712 --> 00:32:28,872
Is that against the rules?
725
00:32:28,980 --> 00:32:30,607
That's the only fucking rule!
726
00:32:30,715 --> 00:32:32,080
Keep away from hot
gay guys -
727
00:32:32,183 --> 00:32:34,014
unless they have
girlfriends, like me.
728
00:32:34,118 --> 00:32:37,918
Okay, well, don't...
queen out about it.
729
00:32:38,022 --> 00:32:40,354
Besides, he told me -
I'm not his type.
730
00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:42,426
And you believed him?
I bet he told you
731
00:32:42,527 --> 00:32:44,495
he saw a light
in your soul, too.
732
00:32:44,595 --> 00:32:47,393
Kyle, I think your
girlfriend's getting jealous.
733
00:32:47,498 --> 00:32:50,023
Please.
She trusts me completely.
734
00:32:50,134 --> 00:32:51,601
We're stronger than ever.
735
00:32:51,703 --> 00:32:54,467
In fact, we were
just about to... fuck.
736
00:32:54,572 --> 00:32:56,301
- Whoa!
- Really?
737
00:32:56,407 --> 00:32:58,398
Yeah, I can hardly
keep my fingers off
738
00:32:58,509 --> 00:33:00,306
of his big hard stick.
Especially when he's
739
00:33:00,411 --> 00:33:03,744
all sweaty
from power-walking.
740
00:33:03,848 --> 00:33:05,577
I'll bet.
741
00:33:05,683 --> 00:33:07,014
Go for it.
742
00:33:07,118 --> 00:33:08,176
What?
743
00:33:08,286 --> 00:33:10,220
Stick your hand
in his shorts.
744
00:33:10,321 --> 00:33:12,312
- Get him hard.
- Yeah!
745
00:33:12,423 --> 00:33:13,685
No way!
746
00:33:13,791 --> 00:33:15,418
What?
Aren't you straight anymore?
747
00:33:15,526 --> 00:33:17,517
Of course I'm straight.
But I don't think parading
748
00:33:17,628 --> 00:33:20,859
my heterosexuality around
in public is very polite.
749
00:33:20,965 --> 00:33:23,160
Well, how about you
two just kiss?
750
00:33:23,267 --> 00:33:25,599
Yeah, that'd be hot.
751
00:33:25,703 --> 00:33:27,568
A kiss?
752
00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:29,902
And use some tongue...
753
00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:31,839
unless you don't like
kissing your girlfriend.
754
00:33:31,943 --> 00:33:34,138
I love kissing
my girlfriend.
755
00:33:34,245 --> 00:33:36,270
Prove it.
756
00:33:36,381 --> 00:33:37,939
Why should--
757
00:33:42,820 --> 00:33:44,549
Wow.
758
00:33:48,059 --> 00:33:50,459
You two get a room.
Invite me over!
759
00:33:57,435 --> 00:33:58,925
Kyle?!
760
00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:00,163
Mom?
761
00:34:00,271 --> 00:34:02,000
Kyle?!
762
00:34:02,106 --> 00:34:03,505
What are you doing here?!
763
00:34:03,608 --> 00:34:06,668
I was just running errands.
Oh, baby, this is more
764
00:34:06,778 --> 00:34:08,609
than I could ever
have hoped for!
765
00:34:08,713 --> 00:34:11,614
This is wonderful!
766
00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:13,684
You are a girl, right?
767
00:34:13,785 --> 00:34:15,275
Mom, of course she's a girl!
768
00:34:15,386 --> 00:34:16,785
Would you stop
hugging me?
769
00:34:16,888 --> 00:34:18,287
We hadn't told her yet.
770
00:34:18,389 --> 00:34:20,084
You don't understand!
I used to catch this boy
771
00:34:20,191 --> 00:34:22,682
masturbating with every
vegetable in the fridge -
772
00:34:22,794 --> 00:34:24,625
and now this!
773
00:34:25,396 --> 00:34:27,694
Have you tell that awful
ex-boyfriend of yours?
774
00:34:27,799 --> 00:34:29,664
I have a feeling he knows.
775
00:34:29,767 --> 00:34:31,098
I have a feeling
this is the funniest thing
776
00:34:31,202 --> 00:34:32,430
he's ever seen.
777
00:34:32,537 --> 00:34:34,061
I have a feeling that the
childish things he's doing
778
00:34:34,172 --> 00:34:35,901
are acts of jealousy,
and in some small way,
779
00:34:36,007 --> 00:34:38,032
it's kind of nice to know
he cares for a change.
780
00:34:38,142 --> 00:34:42,010
Who gives a shit about him?
I'm gonna be a grandma!
781
00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:43,740
This is war!
782
00:34:43,848 --> 00:34:45,577
Marc's gonna rue the day
he messed with me!
783
00:34:45,683 --> 00:34:46,980
Wow, you almost
seem like a top.
784
00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:48,814
Marc thinks he can get
whatever he wants just
785
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,150
by taking his shirt off.
Maybe some guys don't
786
00:34:51,255 --> 00:34:53,883
want a hot, muscular stud who's
confident with his sexuality.
787
00:34:53,991 --> 00:34:55,652
Maybe some people think
it's charming enough
788
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:57,591
to pretend that
you're sexually conflicted -
789
00:34:57,695 --> 00:34:59,424
Some people like...
790
00:34:59,530 --> 00:35:01,157
Octavio.
791
00:35:01,265 --> 00:35:02,630
Octo-what?
792
00:35:03,835 --> 00:35:06,099
Oh, hi, Yummy.
I'm Tiffani.
793
00:35:06,204 --> 00:35:07,831
The rhinoceros?
794
00:35:07,939 --> 00:35:09,531
Excuse me?
795
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:10,868
Tiffani, this is Octavio,
796
00:35:10,975 --> 00:35:12,840
from that group
I was telling you about.
797
00:35:12,944 --> 00:35:14,571
Rhinoceros?
798
00:35:14,679 --> 00:35:16,476
I'll call you tonight.
799
00:35:16,581 --> 00:35:18,674
Good luck not
fucking each other.
800
00:35:20,985 --> 00:35:22,646
So, Octavio.
801
00:35:22,753 --> 00:35:23,913
Octavio.
802
00:35:24,021 --> 00:35:25,113
Octavio.
803
00:35:25,223 --> 00:35:26,588
It's like you're saying
a 'V' and 'B'
804
00:35:26,691 --> 00:35:28,522
at the same time -
"Octavio."
805
00:35:28,626 --> 00:35:29,615
B and B?
806
00:35:29,727 --> 00:35:31,456
V and B.
807
00:35:31,562 --> 00:35:33,621
So, what are you doing here?
808
00:35:34,732 --> 00:35:36,427
Your girlfriend's sexy.
809
00:35:36,534 --> 00:35:37,694
Thanks.
810
00:35:37,802 --> 00:35:39,030
Nothing like I expected.
811
00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:40,695
What are you saying, I'm not
good enough for her?
812
00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:43,831
No, I just...
didn't believe you.
813
00:35:43,941 --> 00:35:47,604
Something about you screamed
single... and lonely.
814
00:35:47,712 --> 00:35:49,509
As you can see,
I'm clearly not--
815
00:35:49,614 --> 00:35:51,241
And horny.
816
00:35:51,349 --> 00:35:52,782
Horny?
817
00:35:52,884 --> 00:35:55,352
- You're hitting on me.
- Yes, I am.
818
00:35:56,821 --> 00:35:58,413
What about Homo No More?
819
00:35:58,523 --> 00:36:00,184
I thought they
straightened you out.
820
00:36:00,291 --> 00:36:03,818
When I saw you at the meeting,
I sort of fell off my wagon.
821
00:36:03,928 --> 00:36:05,088
You didn't have
that far to fall--
822
00:36:05,196 --> 00:36:08,529
Shut up.
I must have you.
823
00:36:09,700 --> 00:36:12,168
I have a feeling this
is against the rules.
824
00:36:12,270 --> 00:36:14,534
It's okay.
The bossy guy - Jacob -
825
00:36:14,639 --> 00:36:16,072
he breaks the rules
all the time.
826
00:36:16,174 --> 00:36:17,573
Wait!
Jacob's gay?
827
00:36:17,675 --> 00:36:19,370
Of course.
One time he followed me
828
00:36:19,477 --> 00:36:21,377
into the bathroom at school
and started tapping his toe
829
00:36:21,479 --> 00:36:23,208
underneath the stall--
830
00:36:25,016 --> 00:36:26,574
Enough about him.
831
00:36:28,819 --> 00:36:31,014
Your lips taste
like cherry.
832
00:36:31,122 --> 00:36:33,181
It's my girlfriend's
lip gloss.
833
00:36:37,094 --> 00:36:38,391
Oh, Octavio.
834
00:36:38,496 --> 00:36:39,963
Octavio.
835
00:36:43,601 --> 00:36:46,365
Well, I'm this way.
Thanks for the jog.
836
00:36:46,470 --> 00:36:48,734
Hey, you wanna
come over tonight?
837
00:36:48,839 --> 00:36:50,807
No, I can't.
I'm gonna watch the game
838
00:36:50,908 --> 00:36:52,273
with Kyle and Tiffani.
839
00:36:52,376 --> 00:36:54,901
Oh.
Well, you guys have fun.
840
00:36:55,012 --> 00:36:56,639
Hey, you wanna jog
again tomorrow?
841
00:36:56,747 --> 00:36:59,716
Maybe late afternoon?
We could hang out afterwards.
842
00:36:59,817 --> 00:37:01,284
That'd be great.
843
00:37:01,385 --> 00:37:02,784
Cool.
844
00:37:11,262 --> 00:37:13,093
That's how we gays do it.
845
00:37:15,733 --> 00:37:17,724
Wasn't that awesome?
846
00:37:17,835 --> 00:37:19,097
Yeah.
847
00:37:19,203 --> 00:37:22,730
Kyle made his mom so happy.
848
00:37:31,015 --> 00:37:32,983
What could they possibly
have in common?
849
00:37:33,084 --> 00:37:34,574
Besides wanting to be straight?
850
00:37:34,685 --> 00:37:37,279
Well, they both have dicks
that haven't been sucked today.
851
00:37:37,388 --> 00:37:38,719
Thanks, Gwen.
852
00:37:38,823 --> 00:37:40,347
You have nothing
to worry about.
853
00:37:40,458 --> 00:37:43,723
Kyle's non-threatening.
He's like... soy milk.
854
00:37:43,828 --> 00:37:46,922
Or something you use when
you run out of normal milk.
855
00:37:47,031 --> 00:37:49,966
And you're cream.
Gay cream.
856
00:37:50,067 --> 00:37:51,159
Ew.
857
00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:52,759
Hold still.
858
00:37:52,870 --> 00:37:54,701
What's up with
all the drawing?
859
00:37:54,805 --> 00:37:57,535
I don't know.
I like it.
860
00:37:57,642 --> 00:37:59,337
I'm kinda good at it.
861
00:37:59,443 --> 00:38:00,671
Since when?
862
00:38:00,778 --> 00:38:04,544
Since now.
I think I found my calling.
863
00:38:04,649 --> 00:38:07,447
I barely think
about sex anymore.
864
00:38:07,551 --> 00:38:10,281
I just wanna... draw it.
865
00:38:10,388 --> 00:38:12,151
That's so not like you.
866
00:38:12,256 --> 00:38:14,622
Well, you being all jealous
isn't like you, either.
867
00:38:14,725 --> 00:38:18,786
Look, it's simple.
Troy is a blank canvas.
868
00:38:18,896 --> 00:38:21,421
No, he's a sketch.
He's got all these
869
00:38:21,532 --> 00:38:23,966
lame ideas about what
being gay is like,
870
00:38:24,068 --> 00:38:27,799
but he needs you to come in
and provide the horny details.
871
00:38:27,905 --> 00:38:29,133
Ha, ha.
872
00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:33,301
And before you know it...
873
00:38:33,411 --> 00:38:35,003
fine art.
874
00:38:39,250 --> 00:38:41,684
Fuckin' shit!
Fuckin' shit!
875
00:38:41,786 --> 00:38:43,481
Come on, muthafuckas,
we can win this!
876
00:38:43,587 --> 00:38:46,420
Kyle, we're 48 points behind
with less than a minute to go.
877
00:38:48,192 --> 00:38:49,591
Oh.
878
00:38:50,594 --> 00:38:51,891
That was actually
fun though.
879
00:38:51,996 --> 00:38:53,361
I mean, it sucks
that we lost.
880
00:38:53,464 --> 00:38:55,022
Aw, you'll get over it.
881
00:38:56,434 --> 00:38:58,425
So, uh, how was your day?
882
00:38:58,536 --> 00:39:00,970
Strange.
883
00:39:01,072 --> 00:39:02,232
But you know there's
something I wanted to
884
00:39:02,340 --> 00:39:04,205
talk to you about -
something I didn't share
885
00:39:04,308 --> 00:39:06,799
with the group yesterday.
886
00:39:06,911 --> 00:39:12,110
I didn't exactly go cold salami
when I decided to turn straight.
887
00:39:12,216 --> 00:39:14,013
There were a few slip-ups.
888
00:39:14,118 --> 00:39:15,779
While you were with Tiffani?
889
00:39:15,886 --> 00:39:19,652
Yeah, and she's great
because she understands
890
00:39:19,757 --> 00:39:23,158
how pent-up feelings
can just explode
891
00:39:23,260 --> 00:39:25,228
if you don't do
anything about 'em.
892
00:39:25,329 --> 00:39:28,230
So, it's okay if one
of us makes a mistake
893
00:39:28,332 --> 00:39:30,323
every once in a while.
894
00:39:30,434 --> 00:39:33,267
We've even talked
about the possibly of...
895
00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:36,465
playing... together.
896
00:39:36,574 --> 00:39:37,973
What, like a three-way?
897
00:39:38,075 --> 00:39:39,736
Yeah.
898
00:39:39,844 --> 00:39:41,744
I had a three-way once.
899
00:39:41,846 --> 00:39:43,177
What?
900
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:44,975
Yeah, with two girls.
901
00:39:45,082 --> 00:39:46,572
Oh, I guess that counts.
902
00:39:46,684 --> 00:39:48,379
Barely.
903
00:39:48,486 --> 00:39:51,717
We were in this empty
farm house outside of town.
904
00:39:51,822 --> 00:39:54,586
It was going great.
They had me in the middle
905
00:39:54,692 --> 00:39:56,421
and we were kissing.
And then they pulled
906
00:39:56,527 --> 00:39:59,018
their panties down
and pushed me downtown.
907
00:39:59,130 --> 00:40:01,223
And that's when things
started to fall apart.
908
00:40:01,332 --> 00:40:02,890
So, you didn't like it?
909
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:06,026
Well, it wasn't doing
that much for me.
910
00:40:06,137 --> 00:40:08,037
Does that make me gay?
911
00:40:08,139 --> 00:40:10,198
Lots of straight guys
don't like eating pussy.
912
00:40:10,307 --> 00:40:12,400
They complain about
it all the time.
913
00:40:12,510 --> 00:40:13,909
What happened next?
914
00:40:14,011 --> 00:40:16,707
Well, the situation
got worse.
915
00:40:16,814 --> 00:40:22,548
I couldn't...
find their clits.
916
00:40:22,653 --> 00:40:23,779
You couldn't?
917
00:40:23,888 --> 00:40:25,981
Or G-spots or whatever.
918
00:40:26,090 --> 00:40:29,150
I was down there forever.
It was embarrassing.
919
00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:30,750
They laughed at me.
920
00:40:30,861 --> 00:40:32,453
One of them even
called me the Susan Lucci
921
00:40:32,563 --> 00:40:34,326
of tongue fucking -
922
00:40:34,432 --> 00:40:36,730
seventeen attempts
and no clit.
923
00:40:36,834 --> 00:40:38,267
I know where it's at.
924
00:40:38,369 --> 00:40:39,461
You do?
925
00:40:39,570 --> 00:40:40,730
Yeah.
926
00:40:40,838 --> 00:40:42,100
Could you show me?
927
00:40:42,206 --> 00:40:43,696
Show you?
928
00:40:43,808 --> 00:40:45,207
How do you find it
on Tiffani?
929
00:40:45,309 --> 00:40:46,833
How am I supposed
to show you that?
930
00:40:46,944 --> 00:40:48,809
I dunno.
Use your fingers.
931
00:40:50,781 --> 00:40:53,477
How 'bout I use yours?
932
00:40:53,584 --> 00:40:55,745
You know, so you can
feel what I'm doing.
933
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:05,157
This is stupid.
934
00:41:05,262 --> 00:41:06,320
Nah, come on.
It'll be fun.
935
00:41:06,430 --> 00:41:08,398
I'll show you
my whole routine.
936
00:41:17,608 --> 00:41:21,305
First, you gotta start
with just some little teases.
937
00:41:25,783 --> 00:41:27,478
Breathe on it.
938
00:41:30,454 --> 00:41:32,581
Make her squirm.
939
00:41:34,024 --> 00:41:36,686
And then you just...
940
00:41:38,362 --> 00:41:40,421
Which is usually not
the reaction that I get.
941
00:41:40,531 --> 00:41:43,398
No, it's good.
It's good.
942
00:41:52,776 --> 00:41:56,337
In the middle of all
of this, of course,
943
00:41:56,447 --> 00:41:58,574
is the love button.
944
00:42:00,050 --> 00:42:05,613
But most girls go nuts
if you just... dive on in.
945
00:42:43,027 --> 00:42:44,756
That's good.
946
00:42:44,862 --> 00:42:46,420
That's really good.
947
00:42:48,933 --> 00:42:50,730
Sorry I missed
the game, guys--
948
00:42:50,834 --> 00:42:52,165
What the hell?
949
00:42:52,269 --> 00:42:54,237
I was just showing Troy
some tips on the art
950
00:42:54,338 --> 00:42:55,566
of cunnilingus.
951
00:42:55,673 --> 00:42:56,765
Not that I need them.
952
00:42:56,874 --> 00:42:58,364
Well, even Melissa Etheridge
could learn a thing
953
00:42:58,475 --> 00:42:59,806
or two from Kyle.
954
00:42:59,910 --> 00:43:01,104
I gotta get going.
955
00:43:01,211 --> 00:43:02,644
Stay.
There's plenty to eat.
956
00:43:02,746 --> 00:43:03,940
Yeah, you don't have to go.
957
00:43:04,048 --> 00:43:05,538
I gotta call it a night.
958
00:43:05,649 --> 00:43:08,812
Thanks for the...
time, Kyle.
959
00:43:13,657 --> 00:43:14,783
Did you see that?
960
00:43:14,892 --> 00:43:16,689
One more session like that
and he's gonna explode.
961
00:43:16,794 --> 00:43:18,489
As long as he doesn't
explode with Marc first.
962
00:43:21,398 --> 00:43:23,127
I win!
963
00:43:24,101 --> 00:43:25,500
Whoa!
964
00:43:27,004 --> 00:43:28,437
What?
965
00:43:30,174 --> 00:43:33,371
So when did you first know
for sure you were gay?
966
00:43:33,477 --> 00:43:35,069
Just now.
967
00:43:36,447 --> 00:43:37,880
No.
I had my suspicions
968
00:43:37,982 --> 00:43:41,042
when I was, like, 12 or 13,
but I didn't know for sure
969
00:43:41,151 --> 00:43:42,641
until a couple years later -
970
00:43:42,753 --> 00:43:45,187
when I went down
on my first guy.
971
00:43:45,289 --> 00:43:47,689
And it's the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
972
00:43:47,791 --> 00:43:49,190
What?
Being gay?
973
00:43:49,293 --> 00:43:51,557
Yeah.
Imagine that you think
974
00:43:51,662 --> 00:43:53,357
you're gonna live
your life one way -
975
00:43:53,464 --> 00:43:57,093
get a job, get married,
get a 3-bedroom house.
976
00:43:57,201 --> 00:44:02,070
And then you discover
this... thing about yourself
977
00:44:02,172 --> 00:44:05,039
that opens up a million
new options as to how you
978
00:44:05,142 --> 00:44:07,406
can live your life.
Suddenly you don't have
979
00:44:07,511 --> 00:44:09,638
those milestones that straight
people have to compare
980
00:44:09,747 --> 00:44:11,339
each other against.
981
00:44:11,448 --> 00:44:14,645
You can choose
your own adventure.
982
00:44:14,752 --> 00:44:17,414
I loved those books.
983
00:44:17,521 --> 00:44:19,284
Me, too.
984
00:44:19,390 --> 00:44:21,017
But aren't you worried
you'll end up all alone
985
00:44:21,125 --> 00:44:23,059
and not have any
of those things?
986
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:25,993
Doesn't everyone?
Gay or straight?
987
00:44:28,232 --> 00:44:29,597
Sprint you home!
988
00:44:38,008 --> 00:44:40,533
And just so you know,
Kyle's mom's reaction
989
00:44:40,644 --> 00:44:42,669
to him being straight
wasn't awesome.
990
00:44:42,780 --> 00:44:43,974
Huh?
991
00:44:44,081 --> 00:44:46,208
Well, you said it like
you were happy for them,
992
00:44:46,316 --> 00:44:48,580
like that's the way
it should be.
993
00:44:48,686 --> 00:44:50,813
My parents are totally cool
with me being gay.
994
00:44:50,921 --> 00:44:53,219
Yeah, but are your parents
really okay with it?
995
00:44:53,323 --> 00:44:55,382
I'll bet Kyle's mom grew
to be okay with it,
996
00:44:55,492 --> 00:44:58,052
but you saw how
happy she was.
997
00:44:58,162 --> 00:45:00,494
That's what parents
really want for their kids.
998
00:45:00,597 --> 00:45:03,361
If you ask, most parents
will say they just want
999
00:45:03,467 --> 00:45:05,594
their kids to be happy.
1000
00:45:05,703 --> 00:45:07,694
Maybe my mom would
be happier if I put my dick
1001
00:45:07,805 --> 00:45:11,707
somewhere else, but you've
seen those ex-gays.
1002
00:45:11,809 --> 00:45:13,572
Is that happy?
1003
00:45:13,677 --> 00:45:16,908
If your parents love you
and they think you're happy,
1004
00:45:17,014 --> 00:45:19,312
they'll adjust.
1005
00:45:19,416 --> 00:45:22,943
I don't think my parents
would adjust to me being gay.
1006
00:45:23,053 --> 00:45:25,544
They shouldn't have
anything to do with it.
1007
00:45:25,656 --> 00:45:26,987
You have to be who you are.
1008
00:45:27,091 --> 00:45:29,286
It's the only way you can
live with yourself.
1009
00:45:31,562 --> 00:45:33,996
And It's the only way
I can live at all.
1010
00:45:35,165 --> 00:45:37,292
Did you wanna take a shower?
1011
00:45:37,401 --> 00:45:40,131
Talk about getting my
creative juices flowing.
1012
00:45:40,237 --> 00:45:41,568
I didn't know you were here.
1013
00:45:41,672 --> 00:45:43,537
Wait.
Keep 'em down.
1014
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:45,301
Would you boys
let me draw you?
1015
00:45:45,409 --> 00:45:47,274
What? Together?
1016
00:45:47,377 --> 00:45:50,175
No, right where you are,
right now.
1017
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:53,579
I'll call it..."Proposition."
1018
00:45:53,684 --> 00:45:55,083
What do you think?
1019
00:45:55,185 --> 00:45:56,618
I don't know--
1020
00:45:56,720 --> 00:45:58,278
It's this or renting a movie.
1021
00:45:58,388 --> 00:46:00,151
Choose your own adventure.
1022
00:46:04,194 --> 00:46:06,321
When I walked in on the two
of you, I was like,
1023
00:46:06,430 --> 00:46:08,557
"Fuck this drawing one
person at a time shit!
1024
00:46:08,665 --> 00:46:11,065
If I can capture the tension
between these two--
1025
00:46:11,168 --> 00:46:12,465
There was tension?
1026
00:46:12,569 --> 00:46:15,732
Honey, it was more tense than
Star Jones in a training bra.
1027
00:46:15,839 --> 00:46:18,273
Now make that look you had:
1028
00:46:18,375 --> 00:46:22,311
surprised, a little turned on,
kinda scared.
1029
00:46:23,881 --> 00:46:26,441
No... I dunno,
stare at Marc's crotch
1030
00:46:26,550 --> 00:46:28,575
and imagine what he could
do to you with that.
1031
00:46:28,685 --> 00:46:30,550
Trust me,
he can do a lot.
1032
00:46:33,957 --> 00:46:35,515
Perfect.
1033
00:46:35,626 --> 00:46:39,084
So... you two dated?
1034
00:46:39,196 --> 00:46:40,788
Gwen was my last girlfriend.
1035
00:46:40,898 --> 00:46:42,559
And Marc was my first.
1036
00:46:42,666 --> 00:46:46,727
After him, all I ever
wanted to date were fags.
1037
00:46:46,837 --> 00:46:48,805
I've got an idea.
1038
00:46:48,906 --> 00:46:50,703
This could take forever,
and I see the potential
1039
00:46:50,808 --> 00:46:54,369
for something...
more interesting.
1040
00:46:54,478 --> 00:46:56,571
Could I do a series
with you guys?
1041
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:58,910
Almost like a story that
starts with this scene
1042
00:46:59,016 --> 00:47:01,576
and goes from there?
What do you think?
1043
00:47:01,685 --> 00:47:02,913
I don't know--
1044
00:47:03,020 --> 00:47:05,420
If I said pose with a woman,
you'd totally do it.
1045
00:47:05,522 --> 00:47:08,286
It's not like we'd even have
time to pose for a series--
1046
00:47:08,392 --> 00:47:11,452
I'll take photos
and use them to draw from.
1047
00:47:11,562 --> 00:47:13,587
C'mon, we can be done
in minutes depending
1048
00:47:13,697 --> 00:47:16,188
how well you two... connect.
1049
00:47:16,300 --> 00:47:19,133
Yeah, but if Troy
feels uncomfortable--
1050
00:47:19,236 --> 00:47:21,500
No.
1051
00:47:21,605 --> 00:47:23,402
I'll do it.
1052
00:47:23,507 --> 00:47:26,203
Perfect.
I'll get my camera.
1053
00:47:26,310 --> 00:47:28,778
You sure?
1054
00:47:28,879 --> 00:47:31,677
Yeah.
1055
00:47:31,782 --> 00:47:33,841
Choose your own adventure.
1056
00:47:34,751 --> 00:47:36,514
Okay, Troy,
sit back down.
1057
00:47:36,620 --> 00:47:38,281
Marc,
off with the pants.
1058
00:47:43,727 --> 00:47:45,991
Perfect.
Okay, Troy,
1059
00:47:46,096 --> 00:47:47,961
stand back up with Marc.
1060
00:47:48,065 --> 00:47:50,795
I want you to do that same
character you were doing,
1061
00:47:50,901 --> 00:47:55,167
like, he's a virgin and
he wants it but he's confused.
1062
00:47:55,272 --> 00:47:57,263
Can you do that?
1063
00:47:57,374 --> 00:47:58,773
Yeah.
1064
00:47:58,876 --> 00:48:02,073
So Marc, honey, why don't
you get down on one knee,
1065
00:48:02,179 --> 00:48:04,511
and put your hands underneath--
1066
00:48:04,615 --> 00:48:07,209
yeah, like that.
1067
00:48:07,317 --> 00:48:10,480
Actually, raise the shirt
a little.
1068
00:48:10,587 --> 00:48:14,421
And lift your head so you're
looking into his eyes.
1069
00:48:14,524 --> 00:48:16,822
Look like you're
in the moment
1070
00:48:16,927 --> 00:48:19,725
and you want it.
1071
00:48:19,830 --> 00:48:23,231
Marc, I want you
to stand and take Troy's--
1072
00:48:23,333 --> 00:48:26,097
yeah, that.
1073
00:48:26,203 --> 00:48:28,694
Now, Troy, the removal
of the shirt is one of
1074
00:48:28,805 --> 00:48:31,603
the hottest moments -
when you know soon you'll
1075
00:48:31,708 --> 00:48:36,270
be skin on skin,
chest on chest,
1076
00:48:36,380 --> 00:48:39,247
lips on lips.
1077
00:48:39,349 --> 00:48:41,715
Marc, toss the shirt aside.
1078
00:48:41,818 --> 00:48:45,413
Marc, lick one
of Troy's nipples.
1079
00:48:45,522 --> 00:48:48,286
Don't worry.
It'll feel good.
1080
00:48:50,694 --> 00:48:55,722
Yeah... I know.
1081
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:08,139
Troy, run your left hand
through Marc's hair.
1082
00:49:12,749 --> 00:49:14,876
Marc, hold it right there.
1083
00:49:14,985 --> 00:49:18,045
Troy, pull Marc in.
1084
00:49:20,590 --> 00:49:22,490
Yeah.
1085
00:49:25,395 --> 00:49:29,923
Marc, lick his chest
up to his neck.
1086
00:49:33,670 --> 00:49:35,535
How you feeling, Troy?
1087
00:49:37,107 --> 00:49:40,634
Really... really good.
1088
00:49:40,744 --> 00:49:42,439
Then throw your head back--
1089
00:49:44,581 --> 00:49:45,912
Sorry!
1090
00:49:46,016 --> 00:49:47,881
It's perfect.
Stay right there!
1091
00:49:47,985 --> 00:49:50,510
Marc, make like you're
kissing your way down.
1092
00:49:58,028 --> 00:49:59,723
How 'bout I do this?
1093
00:49:59,830 --> 00:50:01,263
This is hot, right?
1094
00:50:01,365 --> 00:50:02,696
God, yeah.
1095
00:50:02,799 --> 00:50:04,664
You're a natural, Troy.
1096
00:50:04,768 --> 00:50:06,326
Close your eyes.
1097
00:50:06,436 --> 00:50:09,530
Marc, move down
between his legs
1098
00:50:09,639 --> 00:50:11,630
and kiss his stomach.
1099
00:50:15,045 --> 00:50:17,878
Marc, get up so you're
on top of him,
1100
00:50:17,981 --> 00:50:19,414
face to face.
1101
00:50:22,319 --> 00:50:25,049
You can open your eyes
if you want.
1102
00:50:25,155 --> 00:50:29,148
Hold that pose -
like you're about to kiss.
1103
00:50:29,259 --> 00:50:33,195
One of those first kisses,
where it takes forever
1104
00:50:33,296 --> 00:50:35,230
before you meet.
1105
00:50:35,332 --> 00:50:40,565
Moving closer...
and closer.
1106
00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:45,440
Shit!
1107
00:50:45,542 --> 00:50:46,566
What?
1108
00:50:46,676 --> 00:50:47,768
My card's full.
1109
00:50:47,878 --> 00:50:49,140
Hey look, I wanna
keep this going.
1110
00:50:49,246 --> 00:50:50,406
You're fine
with that, right?
1111
00:50:50,514 --> 00:50:51,606
Uh-huh.
1112
00:50:51,715 --> 00:50:53,012
I'll just go
upload 'em in my room.
1113
00:50:53,116 --> 00:50:54,174
It'll take 15 minutes.
1114
00:50:54,284 --> 00:50:56,252
Hold that pose.
1115
00:50:58,455 --> 00:51:02,619
I'll be in my room -
with the door closed.
1116
00:51:08,198 --> 00:51:12,532
I don't think I can stay
like this for 15 minutes.
1117
00:51:12,636 --> 00:51:14,160
Me neither.
1118
00:51:20,444 --> 00:51:22,207
I know I'm not your type--
1119
00:51:22,312 --> 00:51:25,076
And I'm not a girl,
but we'll improvise.
1120
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:45,334
Oh, that feels so good.
1121
00:51:46,770 --> 00:51:48,499
Oh, man, oh, man.
I'm gonna...
1122
00:51:48,605 --> 00:51:50,266
I'm gonna...
1123
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:07,654
Wow, that was... fast.
1124
00:52:07,757 --> 00:52:11,591
I'm sorry.
It's been awhile.
1125
00:52:11,695 --> 00:52:14,823
Plus, I haven't gotten
it like that before.
1126
00:52:14,931 --> 00:52:16,489
Like that,
meaning with a guy
1127
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:19,330
or meaning it was
that good?
1128
00:52:19,436 --> 00:52:20,630
Here, let me
get you a towel--
1129
00:52:20,737 --> 00:52:23,501
No, wait.
My turn.
1130
00:52:28,111 --> 00:52:31,239
Ohhh... Mmm...
1131
00:52:31,348 --> 00:52:35,114
Troy... teeth!
Teeth!
1132
00:52:35,218 --> 00:52:36,845
Sorry!
1133
00:52:36,953 --> 00:52:38,614
It's okay...
1134
00:52:38,722 --> 00:52:40,451
Ohh... yeah.
1135
00:52:40,557 --> 00:52:42,354
Ahh...
1136
00:52:50,066 --> 00:52:51,431
Am I not doing it right?
1137
00:52:51,535 --> 00:52:53,002
No, you were fine.
1138
00:52:53,103 --> 00:52:54,502
I just...
1139
00:52:56,907 --> 00:52:57,532
I just can't--
1140
00:52:57,641 --> 00:52:59,040
Fuck!
1141
00:52:59,142 --> 00:53:01,110
Why am I so bad
at giving oral sex?
1142
00:53:01,211 --> 00:53:05,375
You were doing great!
I just... I'm sorry.
1143
00:53:08,151 --> 00:53:10,142
Is it because I'm not your type?
1144
00:53:10,253 --> 00:53:14,690
Troy... you're hot.
Trust me.
1145
00:53:17,827 --> 00:53:21,319
Or, no... don't trust me.
1146
00:53:26,336 --> 00:53:28,497
Can you wait one minute?
1147
00:53:33,743 --> 00:53:35,233
These are hot!
1148
00:53:35,345 --> 00:53:37,108
I can't do it.
1149
00:53:50,694 --> 00:53:52,992
But it's going
exactly how you wanted.
1150
00:53:53,096 --> 00:53:55,758
I just can't do it.
1151
00:53:55,865 --> 00:53:58,459
If Kyle wants to pretend
to be straight just to have
1152
00:53:58,568 --> 00:54:01,867
sex with Troy,
that's his prerogative.
1153
00:54:01,972 --> 00:54:05,464
But I just can't
do this anymore.
1154
00:54:23,893 --> 00:54:26,123
Well, can we at least
finish the photo shoot?
1155
00:54:30,700 --> 00:54:32,292
Oh, great.
1156
00:54:32,402 --> 00:54:34,597
He's probably freaking out
about making it with a guy.
1157
00:54:34,704 --> 00:54:36,171
He's probably looking
for someone who won't
1158
00:54:36,273 --> 00:54:37,797
cock-tease him.
1159
00:54:39,743 --> 00:54:41,870
I know where he's going.
1160
00:54:43,580 --> 00:54:44,706
I fucked up.
1161
00:54:44,814 --> 00:54:45,803
What is it?
1162
00:54:45,915 --> 00:54:47,576
I had sex with a guy.
1163
00:54:47,684 --> 00:54:49,515
Was it Marc?
1164
00:54:49,619 --> 00:54:52,144
Oh, my God,
that's horrible!
1165
00:54:52,255 --> 00:54:53,722
I know.
It was.
1166
00:54:53,823 --> 00:54:55,620
- It was?
- It was?
1167
00:54:55,725 --> 00:54:58,216
I felt so guilty, because...
1168
00:54:58,328 --> 00:55:00,421
all I could do was
think about you, Kyle.
1169
00:55:00,530 --> 00:55:01,792
Really?
1170
00:55:01,898 --> 00:55:03,889
Yeah.
How I let you down.
1171
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:06,264
And how I let
the group down.
1172
00:55:06,369 --> 00:55:08,997
And how more than anything
I wanted to be with a woman.
1173
00:55:09,105 --> 00:55:11,665
Or with a man and a woman.
I don't know...
1174
00:55:11,775 --> 00:55:14,243
it's all so confusing.
1175
00:55:14,344 --> 00:55:16,278
And then I thought
of you two.
1176
00:55:16,379 --> 00:55:18,472
And what good friends
you've been to me.
1177
00:55:18,581 --> 00:55:21,209
And how honest
and open you've been
1178
00:55:21,318 --> 00:55:24,116
about your struggles, Kyle.
1179
00:55:24,220 --> 00:55:29,021
And about how you two
have an arrangement.
1180
00:56:05,662 --> 00:56:06,924
Wait, wait
Is this too weird?
1181
00:56:07,030 --> 00:56:08,554
(both)
It's not too weird.
1182
00:56:35,892 --> 00:56:36,916
Show me.
1183
00:56:37,026 --> 00:56:39,756
- Huh?
- Show me your routine.
1184
00:56:39,863 --> 00:56:42,798
Oh, it's--
gonna go that far?
1185
00:56:42,899 --> 00:56:44,423
Three-ways usually do.
1186
00:56:44,534 --> 00:56:49,528
I want you...
to teach me... please?
1187
00:56:49,639 --> 00:56:53,131
Why don't I do a little
mouth magic on you first?
1188
00:56:53,243 --> 00:56:55,575
That'll get me all nice
and rolling out
1189
00:56:55,678 --> 00:56:57,145
the welcome mat
down there.
1190
00:56:57,247 --> 00:56:59,477
No.
You two first.
1191
00:56:59,582 --> 00:57:02,483
That'll get me ready for
what you're gonna do to me.
1192
00:57:02,585 --> 00:57:04,382
But you don't
want sloppy seconds.
1193
00:57:04,487 --> 00:57:07,115
Company should go first.
1194
00:57:18,268 --> 00:57:19,235
Blah!
1195
00:57:26,509 --> 00:57:27,635
Blah!
1196
00:57:29,579 --> 00:57:31,979
That is so hot.
1197
00:57:36,586 --> 00:57:37,985
Kyle, eat me out already!
1198
00:57:38,087 --> 00:57:39,748
The boy wants to
see how it's done!
1199
00:57:39,856 --> 00:57:41,517
Please don't make me!
1200
00:57:49,766 --> 00:57:53,497
Oh, yes... oh, yes.
1201
00:57:53,603 --> 00:57:55,969
That's it...
You can do it.
1202
00:57:56,072 --> 00:57:58,267
Make mama proud.
1203
00:57:58,374 --> 00:57:59,705
Oh my God.
It's like the little
1204
00:57:59,809 --> 00:58:01,367
homo that could.
1205
00:58:01,478 --> 00:58:03,207
You wanna try now?
Please?
1206
00:58:05,448 --> 00:58:07,075
Troy?
1207
00:58:07,183 --> 00:58:08,844
Where are you going?
1208
00:58:10,787 --> 00:58:13,051
Well, that certainly didn't
taste like sugar and spice.
1209
00:58:13,156 --> 00:58:14,783
Troy!
1210
00:58:14,891 --> 00:58:16,017
What's going on?
1211
00:58:16,125 --> 00:58:18,320
It's my pussy.
My pussy scared him away!
1212
00:58:19,562 --> 00:58:22,395
You little ex-gay sluts!
1213
00:58:22,499 --> 00:58:25,468
Oh... my... God.
1214
00:58:25,568 --> 00:58:27,934
Can we come in, or were you
in the middle of dinner?
1215
00:58:28,037 --> 00:58:29,470
What are you doing here?
1216
00:58:29,572 --> 00:58:30,903
We're not eating pussy.
1217
00:58:31,007 --> 00:58:32,565
What are the three
of you doing?
1218
00:58:32,675 --> 00:58:36,076
Well, Kyle was showing Troy
the art of cunnilingus.
1219
00:58:36,179 --> 00:58:37,669
And he was doing
an admirable job.
1220
00:58:37,780 --> 00:58:39,714
Yeah, for a gay guy.
1221
00:58:39,816 --> 00:58:42,649
Yeah, I know -
everything.
1222
00:58:42,752 --> 00:58:44,720
You guys will do
anything to get laid.
1223
00:58:44,821 --> 00:58:48,052
I ate pussy for nothing?
1224
00:58:48,157 --> 00:58:49,283
You deserved it!
1225
00:58:49,392 --> 00:58:51,917
Hey!
It wasn't that bad!
1226
00:58:52,028 --> 00:58:54,428
I'm sorry.
I'm horrible.
1227
00:58:54,531 --> 00:58:56,624
We're all horrible.
1228
00:58:58,601 --> 00:59:01,764
If it's any consolation,
it wasn't just about the sex.
1229
00:59:01,871 --> 00:59:03,702
We really liked you.
1230
00:59:03,806 --> 00:59:04,932
Working out with you.
1231
00:59:05,041 --> 00:59:06,099
Watching the game.
1232
00:59:06,209 --> 00:59:07,403
Drawing you.
1233
00:59:07,510 --> 00:59:09,102
It doesn't matter now.
Like he's gonna want to have
1234
00:59:09,212 --> 00:59:11,806
anything to do with us.
1235
00:59:11,915 --> 00:59:13,906
The fucked up thing is,
even though you lied to me,
1236
00:59:14,017 --> 00:59:16,110
and to each other,
and to people you don't
1237
00:59:16,219 --> 00:59:21,919
even know...
I like you... liars.
1238
00:59:22,025 --> 00:59:23,356
We like you, too.
1239
00:59:23,459 --> 00:59:24,687
Yeah, you're so cool.
1240
00:59:24,794 --> 00:59:26,921
And I'm sorry.
I know I kind of led you all
1241
00:59:27,030 --> 00:59:28,998
on with my whole
confused thing.
1242
00:59:29,098 --> 00:59:30,725
Yeah, so c'mon.
You've sucked dick
1243
00:59:30,833 --> 00:59:33,063
and eaten pussy.
Which is it?
1244
00:59:33,169 --> 00:59:35,603
That's what's been tripping
me up all these years.
1245
00:59:35,705 --> 00:59:37,969
I thought it had
to be one or the other.
1246
00:59:38,074 --> 00:59:41,566
But after sampling both,
I've come to a conclusion.
1247
00:59:41,678 --> 00:59:44,738
I'm... bisexual.
1248
00:59:44,847 --> 00:59:46,508
(all)
There's no such thing!
1249
00:59:46,616 --> 00:59:47,708
Says who?
1250
00:59:47,817 --> 00:59:49,079
The laws of nature!
1251
00:59:49,185 --> 00:59:50,880
It's like horses
fucking gerbils!
1252
00:59:50,987 --> 00:59:52,511
Well, then I'm a
freak of nature.
1253
00:59:52,622 --> 00:59:54,055
And I'm proud of it.
1254
00:59:54,157 --> 00:59:57,183
Good!
Be proud, bi-boy!
1255
00:59:57,293 --> 00:59:59,261
I wish you'd been proud
when we met.
1256
00:59:59,362 --> 01:00:01,489
But I guess that's hard
when people like you
1257
01:00:01,598 --> 01:00:04,863
and Jacob Buchanan tell him
how bad it is to be gay.
1258
01:00:04,968 --> 01:00:07,436
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
1259
01:00:07,537 --> 01:00:09,562
I should've helped you instead
of trying to take advantage
1260
01:00:09,672 --> 01:00:12,300
of you not
knowing what you were.
1261
01:00:12,408 --> 01:00:16,003
So... what do we do now?
1262
01:00:16,112 --> 01:00:18,444
We're gonna stop
people like me.
1263
01:00:18,548 --> 01:00:20,482
No one should take advantage
of confused queer kids.
1264
01:00:20,583 --> 01:00:22,744
And the sooner we help them
see past what they don't like
1265
01:00:22,852 --> 01:00:25,218
in themselves so they can
see the great things
1266
01:00:25,321 --> 01:00:27,915
right in
front of them...
1267
01:00:28,024 --> 01:00:29,815
the better.
1268
01:00:32,729 --> 01:00:35,892
He's a homo who fucks
things up for other homos.
1269
01:00:35,999 --> 01:00:36,863
I don't know if--
1270
01:00:36,966 --> 01:00:38,627
Octavio, if people like
him weren't around,
1271
01:00:38,735 --> 01:00:42,068
everyone would come out!
You would get laid like that!
1272
01:00:42,171 --> 01:00:45,163
I take your point.
I'll do it.
1273
01:00:45,274 --> 01:00:46,673
And then we make love.
1274
01:00:52,115 --> 01:00:53,946
Stop the spread of faggotry!
1275
01:00:54,050 --> 01:00:55,449
Wake up and smell
the patchouli!
1276
01:00:55,551 --> 01:00:57,109
You're a dyke!
1277
01:00:58,121 --> 01:01:00,589
Help!
I'm being recruited!
1278
01:01:05,228 --> 01:01:07,162
Convince me you
didn't like that.
1279
01:01:07,263 --> 01:01:09,094
Do your best.
1280
01:01:09,198 --> 01:01:12,998
Look... I'm not gonna embrace
who I am just because
1281
01:01:13,102 --> 01:01:15,036
it's obvious, okay?
1282
01:01:15,138 --> 01:01:16,105
What?
1283
01:01:16,205 --> 01:01:18,639
Everyone's so cool
with being gay.
1284
01:01:18,741 --> 01:01:21,505
Will and Grace this,
Clay Aiken that.
1285
01:01:21,611 --> 01:01:24,045
Well, I'm not gonna
be labeled.
1286
01:01:24,147 --> 01:01:27,014
You're not convincing me.
1287
01:01:29,385 --> 01:01:31,285
Okay, I'm gay.
Now shut up and kiss me!
1288
01:01:31,387 --> 01:01:33,355
I'm not gay.
1289
01:01:33,456 --> 01:01:34,821
Then what do you want?
1290
01:01:34,924 --> 01:01:38,052
I want us to make art.
1291
01:01:40,563 --> 01:01:45,728
That is so... hot.
1292
01:01:45,835 --> 01:01:48,326
God, you are a lesbian.
1293
01:01:49,939 --> 01:01:52,999
Mom?
What are you doing here?
1294
01:01:53,109 --> 01:01:55,270
What's wrong?
1295
01:01:55,378 --> 01:01:56,845
It's nothing.
1296
01:01:56,946 --> 01:01:57,878
No, what?
1297
01:01:57,980 --> 01:01:59,641
I've never seen you
this upset.
1298
01:02:02,485 --> 01:02:05,079
I was at the beauty shop,
1299
01:02:05,188 --> 01:02:07,486
and I was looking
through a magazine,
1300
01:02:07,590 --> 01:02:10,582
and I saw that the Oscars
are coming up.
1301
01:02:10,693 --> 01:02:12,820
Well, I thought,
who am I gonna watch
1302
01:02:12,929 --> 01:02:15,022
the Oscars with?
1303
01:02:15,131 --> 01:02:18,862
And then that Britney Aguilera
song came on - the one about
1304
01:02:18,968 --> 01:02:22,131
you're beautiful even if
you're ugly and gay -
1305
01:02:22,238 --> 01:02:26,732
and I thought,
who's gonna play me this
1306
01:02:26,843 --> 01:02:30,643
shitty music
or take me out dancing
1307
01:02:30,747 --> 01:02:33,113
when I've had a bad day?
1308
01:02:33,216 --> 01:02:34,808
Mom, come on--
1309
01:02:34,917 --> 01:02:36,782
No, you stop.
1310
01:02:36,886 --> 01:02:41,687
You're gonna get married and
have kids, for Christ's sake.
1311
01:02:41,791 --> 01:02:44,225
And I'm gonna visit with
my girlfriends and all we're
1312
01:02:44,327 --> 01:02:47,626
gonna talk about
are grandchildren -
1313
01:02:47,730 --> 01:02:52,099
and that
is so boring!
1314
01:02:52,201 --> 01:02:56,763
And Kyle, you've never
been boring,
1315
01:02:56,873 --> 01:03:00,104
and that is
because you're gay.
1316
01:03:00,209 --> 01:03:07,138
You're a fag, and I want
my little faggot back.
1317
01:03:07,250 --> 01:03:11,311
Mom...
He is back.
1318
01:03:33,676 --> 01:03:35,541
Did my vagina scare you away?
1319
01:03:35,645 --> 01:03:36,873
What?
1320
01:03:36,979 --> 01:03:41,143
The other night, you ran away
the second you saw my vagina.
1321
01:03:41,250 --> 01:03:42,683
Don't be crazy.
1322
01:03:42,785 --> 01:03:46,881
I think you have
a very sexy vagina.
1323
01:03:46,989 --> 01:03:50,254
Well, you sure know how
to charm a girl.
1324
01:03:53,196 --> 01:03:55,187
There - this port-a-potty's
ready to roll.
1325
01:03:56,098 --> 01:03:58,692
I got his precious Blackberry.
We have five minutes.
1326
01:03:58,801 --> 01:04:00,996
Okay, now do what you gotta do
but be quick about it.
1327
01:04:02,338 --> 01:04:04,238
(Octavio) It shouldn't take
more than a couple minutes.
1328
01:04:11,480 --> 01:04:12,572
Got it.
1329
01:04:12,682 --> 01:04:14,115
Perfect!
1330
01:04:14,217 --> 01:04:15,878
Now get your ass to the
parking lot, pronto.
1331
01:04:15,985 --> 01:04:18,044
This is turning me on!
1332
01:04:28,664 --> 01:04:31,758
Octavio, aren't you going
to the big presentation?
1333
01:04:31,868 --> 01:04:34,063
Yeah, but it's not
till one o'clock.
1334
01:04:34,170 --> 01:04:36,502
It's in five minutes.
1335
01:04:37,773 --> 01:04:40,640
It's at one o'clock.
Check your schedule.
1336
01:04:44,847 --> 01:04:47,042
Oh.
I could've sworn it was--
1337
01:04:47,149 --> 01:04:51,085
So it looks like you have
some time to kill, huh?
1338
01:04:54,323 --> 01:04:57,622
Well, there's plenty of
work to be done--
1339
01:04:57,727 --> 01:05:00,753
Oh...
Too bad.
1340
01:05:23,686 --> 01:05:25,881
Hi. Are you here
for Coming In?
1341
01:05:25,988 --> 01:05:27,250
Yes, we are.
1342
01:05:27,356 --> 01:05:29,688
Where's Jacob?
I'm Linda, his mother.
1343
01:05:29,792 --> 01:05:32,158
Mrs. Buchanan.
So nice to meet you.
1344
01:05:32,261 --> 01:05:34,354
I'm Kyle, one of Jacob's
right-hand men.
1345
01:05:34,463 --> 01:05:36,590
He's running a little late,
but he did say to go ahead
1346
01:05:36,699 --> 01:05:37,927
and start without him.
1347
01:05:38,034 --> 01:05:40,366
Hmm.
Jacob's never mentioned you.
1348
01:05:40,469 --> 01:05:42,869
Probably because he's so
busy talking about all
1349
01:05:42,972 --> 01:05:45,133
the girls he's dating, huh!
1350
01:05:47,543 --> 01:05:49,408
No!
1351
01:05:49,512 --> 01:05:51,207
No kissing.
1352
01:05:53,582 --> 01:05:55,777
Mmm, you like it nasty.
1353
01:06:09,198 --> 01:06:13,794
Today, I am proud to present
the fruits of my son's labor.
1354
01:06:13,903 --> 01:06:17,566
But more than that,
I'm excited to see
1355
01:06:17,673 --> 01:06:23,168
the swelling of Coming In
as the homosexual threat
1356
01:06:23,279 --> 01:06:26,476
seems to be swelling
exponentially.
1357
01:06:26,582 --> 01:06:29,210
It is people
like my son Jacob,
1358
01:06:29,318 --> 01:06:33,846
who continue to thrust
our crusade into the spotlight.
1359
01:06:36,192 --> 01:06:39,719
Oh, yes, I've wanted this
for so--
1360
01:06:41,464 --> 01:06:43,295
No, I wanna be loud.
1361
01:06:43,399 --> 01:06:44,730
It's dangerous!
It's hot--
1362
01:06:44,834 --> 01:06:47,359
Open this and shut up.
1363
01:06:48,070 --> 01:06:52,370
Jacob has always been
a beacon of light.
1364
01:06:52,475 --> 01:06:56,707
When he came to me as a teenager
and told me of his inner demons,
1365
01:06:56,812 --> 01:07:00,976
I knew we could destroy
them with loving support
1366
01:07:01,083 --> 01:07:03,881
and a strong fist.
1367
01:07:04,887 --> 01:07:06,946
You're gonna split me
in two, aren't you?
1368
01:07:09,825 --> 01:07:12,259
And we have!
1369
01:07:12,361 --> 01:07:17,355
Today, Jacob dates girls -
and he likes dating girls!
1370
01:07:17,466 --> 01:07:22,165
Jacob proves that if you can
fight it, you can hide it!
1371
01:07:22,271 --> 01:07:26,571
And if you can hide it,
you can bury it!
1372
01:07:40,189 --> 01:07:42,521
Ah!
What was that?
1373
01:07:42,625 --> 01:07:44,092
That was me.
1374
01:07:45,294 --> 01:07:47,421
Oh God, it was you.
1375
01:07:47,530 --> 01:07:49,122
Oh God,
it is you!
1376
01:07:49,532 --> 01:07:52,262
In keeping with the themes
you've mentioned, Linda,
1377
01:07:52,368 --> 01:07:55,826
we've commissioned local artist
Gwen Anderson and Coming In
1378
01:07:55,938 --> 01:07:59,567
member Violet Mufdaver
to portray the revolting
1379
01:07:59,675 --> 01:08:03,236
and immoral acts
of homosexuality in a new
1380
01:08:03,345 --> 01:08:05,973
and compelling campaign,
which we'd like to
1381
01:08:06,082 --> 01:08:07,982
present to you now.
Gwen?
1382
01:08:26,802 --> 01:08:29,999
Members of the student press,
heterosexuals,
1383
01:08:30,106 --> 01:08:34,372
and those who want to be,
we present Coming In's
1384
01:08:34,477 --> 01:08:37,344
newest ad campaign...
1385
01:08:40,015 --> 01:08:42,575
"Gay Sex Sucks."
1386
01:08:43,419 --> 01:08:45,512
Oh, baby!
1387
01:08:46,355 --> 01:08:52,191
This... is absolutely revolting!
1388
01:08:52,294 --> 01:08:54,057
Where is Jacob?
1389
01:08:54,163 --> 01:08:55,460
Oh, I'm so close!
1390
01:08:55,564 --> 01:08:57,191
Where is my son?
1391
01:08:57,299 --> 01:09:00,757
I'm going to find Jacob,
and when he's through with you--
1392
01:09:02,238 --> 01:09:03,830
Oh, baby!
I'm so close!
1393
01:09:03,939 --> 01:09:05,133
So close!
1394
01:09:09,545 --> 01:09:11,274
Jacob?
1395
01:09:11,380 --> 01:09:13,041
I'm coming!
1396
01:09:19,155 --> 01:09:21,089
Mommy?
1397
01:09:21,190 --> 01:09:22,782
Ugh!
1398
01:09:22,892 --> 01:09:26,020
Get this off of me!
1399
01:09:28,531 --> 01:09:30,624
Yep.
He's gay.
1400
01:09:32,234 --> 01:09:34,031
Gwen...
1401
01:09:34,136 --> 01:09:38,232
I was wondering if I could
maybe model for you sometime.
1402
01:09:38,340 --> 01:09:40,171
Me, too.
1403
01:09:49,885 --> 01:09:52,547
I didn't know outing someone
could be so much fun.
1404
01:09:54,690 --> 01:09:58,786
Listen, Tiffani...
I don't know how you feel
1405
01:09:58,894 --> 01:10:02,489
about the whole
bisexual thing.
1406
01:10:02,598 --> 01:10:05,328
I let my ex-boyfriend's
gay roommate go down on me.
1407
01:10:05,434 --> 01:10:07,902
I'm a pretty open person.
1408
01:10:08,003 --> 01:10:11,495
Yeah, well, you know how
you and Kyle were pretending
1409
01:10:11,607 --> 01:10:13,165
to have an arrangement?
1410
01:10:13,275 --> 01:10:14,606
You mean the three-ways?
1411
01:10:14,710 --> 01:10:16,268
Yeah.
1412
01:10:16,378 --> 01:10:21,714
How would you feel if you
really had that... with me?
1413
01:10:21,817 --> 01:10:27,778
Because I'd be honored
to be your boyfriend.
1414
01:10:27,890 --> 01:10:31,053
No one's ever said
that to me before.
1415
01:10:36,465 --> 01:10:39,593
You went above and beyond
the call of duty.
1416
01:10:39,702 --> 01:10:42,899
No... that was hot.
1417
01:10:43,005 --> 01:10:45,701
And now I think it's time
for you to repay me
1418
01:10:45,808 --> 01:10:47,673
for my services.
1419
01:10:47,776 --> 01:10:48,606
Octav--
1420
01:10:48,711 --> 01:10:50,201
I won't take no
for an answer.
1421
01:10:51,213 --> 01:10:52,771
No.
1422
01:11:04,093 --> 01:11:05,424
Well, that was easy!
1423
01:11:06,228 --> 01:11:07,661
You know what, Mom?
1424
01:11:07,763 --> 01:11:09,697
I'm glad you caught me!
1425
01:11:09,798 --> 01:11:11,459
I'm gay!
1426
01:11:11,567 --> 01:11:12,864
And Octavio--
1427
01:11:12,968 --> 01:11:14,435
Octavio
1428
01:11:14,536 --> 01:11:16,936
He's my lover!
1429
01:11:21,277 --> 01:11:23,074
Well, we're off for a fuck!
1430
01:11:23,178 --> 01:11:24,406
Seems like everybody is.
1431
01:11:24,513 --> 01:11:25,741
Do me one favor.
1432
01:11:25,848 --> 01:11:27,509
- Yeah?
- Lead him to the clit.
1433
01:11:27,616 --> 01:11:30,449
Honey, from the waist down
it's all clit.
1434
01:11:37,926 --> 01:11:39,689
That's how I do it.
1435
01:11:45,968 --> 01:11:48,163
You know, these lies
I get us into really have
1436
01:11:48,270 --> 01:11:50,170
a way of working out.
1437
01:11:51,307 --> 01:11:52,797
Perfect.
1438
01:11:55,544 --> 01:11:59,139
Remember how, when you and Marc
were fighting over Troy,
1439
01:11:59,248 --> 01:12:02,342
you tapped into some
unknown confidence
1440
01:12:02,451 --> 01:12:04,043
none of us knew you had?
1441
01:12:04,153 --> 01:12:05,552
Yeah?
1442
01:12:05,654 --> 01:12:07,315
Use it.
1443
01:12:11,260 --> 01:12:15,424
So... plan worked...
1444
01:12:15,531 --> 01:12:17,761
Everyone seems to be happy.
1445
01:12:19,568 --> 01:12:21,195
So, Octavio, huh?
1446
01:12:21,303 --> 01:12:23,771
Please.
There's nothing there.
1447
01:12:23,872 --> 01:12:26,500
He's just a friend
I had sex with once.
1448
01:12:26,608 --> 01:12:29,099
Looks like you went out
and made some hot friends.
1449
01:12:29,211 --> 01:12:33,375
Yeah.
I got more social.
1450
01:12:33,482 --> 01:12:36,474
It does make you jealous.
1451
01:12:36,585 --> 01:12:38,951
What?
1452
01:12:39,054 --> 01:12:42,751
When Troy left last night,
I knew where he was going -
1453
01:12:42,858 --> 01:12:44,450
the same place
I used to go when I had
1454
01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:47,085
a problem I
needed to talk about.
1455
01:12:47,196 --> 01:12:49,289
I got jealous.
1456
01:12:52,434 --> 01:12:56,063
So...
Do you think you can find
1457
01:12:56,171 --> 01:12:58,639
it in your heart to love
somebody who pretended
1458
01:12:58,741 --> 01:13:01,574
to be straight
just to get laid?
1459
01:13:01,677 --> 01:13:03,440
I don't know.
1460
01:13:03,545 --> 01:13:05,445
Can you love someone
who flirted with way too many
1461
01:13:05,547 --> 01:13:08,311
guys while he was
your boyfriend?
1462
01:13:08,417 --> 01:13:10,749
Can you love someone whose
last sexual act
1463
01:13:10,853 --> 01:13:13,481
involved eating pussy?
1464
01:13:13,589 --> 01:13:16,057
Can you love someone who--
1465
01:13:16,158 --> 01:13:19,218
Wait, being a flirt
was my only flaw, right?
1466
01:13:19,328 --> 01:13:21,660
I don't know.
I lost count.
1467
01:13:21,764 --> 01:13:23,595
You've brushed
your teeth, right?
1468
01:13:35,477 --> 01:13:39,413
Does that turn you on
as much as I think it does?
1469
01:13:39,515 --> 01:13:41,210
Yeah.
1470
01:13:41,316 --> 01:13:44,285
But that doesn't mean I'm
not open to new experiences.
1471
01:13:44,386 --> 01:13:45,853
Come here.
1472
01:13:52,961 --> 01:13:54,724
Better than boys?
1473
01:13:54,830 --> 01:13:56,957
Different.
1474
01:13:57,065 --> 01:13:59,226
Different rocks.
1475
01:14:57,626 --> 01:14:59,457
Oh! Oh!
1476
01:14:59,561 --> 01:15:02,325
Yes! Yes! Yes!
1477
01:15:06,068 --> 01:15:07,899
Did I do good?
1478
01:15:08,003 --> 01:15:10,164
Yes, baby.
You did good.
1479
01:15:10,272 --> 01:15:12,103
All right, time for thirds!
1480
01:18:09,718 --> 01:18:12,585
God!
Oh, God!
1481
01:18:12,688 --> 01:18:14,349
I am gay.
103417
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