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Previously onMom...So I came home,
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00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,447
marched right
into the bathroom,
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00:00:12,490 --> 00:00:14,536
told Andy I wanted
to deepen our relationship,
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00:00:14,579 --> 00:00:16,407
and you know what he said?
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00:00:16,451 --> 00:00:18,540
"Can I finish my shower first?"
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00:00:19,584 --> 00:00:22,022
When I get home I just want
to take a shower and relax.
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00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:24,198
I don't want to talk
about my feelings.
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00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:26,461
Especially when I'm not
wearing pants.
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00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:28,332
It's Jill. Safety first.
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00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:31,292
Andy wants a break from her.
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00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:35,078
Tammy, alcoholic.ALL: Hi, Tammy.
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00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:36,558
Lately I've been looking
for ways to deepen
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00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:37,907
my spiritual connection,
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00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:41,345
so, um, I decided to takea peaceful nature hike.
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No phones, no earbuds,not even gum.
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00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:47,134
And that's when I realized
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00:00:47,177 --> 00:00:51,921
hell is other people
while also walking uphill.
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00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:53,401
This couple behind me--
and I feel compelled
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00:00:53,444 --> 00:00:56,099
to point out that the guy
was wearing leggings--
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00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:59,407
anyway, they were going on
and on in great gory detail
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00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:01,800
about this tick that had
set up shop in his...
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00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:04,412
well, let's just say
his swimsuit area.
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00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:09,069
She told me this
one over breakfast.
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00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:10,548
I mean, how am I supposed
to achieve inner peace
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00:01:10,592 --> 00:01:12,463
when I'm listening to them
yakking about hot compresses
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00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:14,422
and tweezer angles and himpassed out on the kitchen table?
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I thought, "You know,
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I'll just speed up
so I don't have to hear it."
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But then I realized I'd neverknow how it turned out,
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so I pretended to drink waterto catch the end.
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He's fine.
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He just needs the leggingsto trust the woods again.
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00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:30,307
Anyway, I never
connected with God,
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00:01:30,351 --> 00:01:32,657
but I do know what to do
in case a tick
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00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:35,747
ever sets up shop in my hoo-ha.
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00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:39,099
[applause]
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Someone else, please.
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Jill, alcoholic.
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00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:45,844
ALL:
Hi, Jill.
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00:01:45,888 --> 00:01:48,325
Well, Andy and I
are still on pause.
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00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:49,848
I guess we have
a different definition
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00:01:49,892 --> 00:01:51,328
of what "pause" means.
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00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:55,941
See, now, that was a pause.
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00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:59,684
Oh, she was acting. I didn't
know what was happening.
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00:01:59,728 --> 00:02:03,079
People, we're at day 16,
and I'm coming unglued.
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00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,733
I'm also regretting the fact
that I let Andy be the one
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00:02:04,776 --> 00:02:06,996
who gets to say, "Pause over."
[chuckles]
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00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:11,522
I just wish I knew what
was going on in his head.
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00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:13,220
I mean, he has told me
that sometimes I can be
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00:02:13,263 --> 00:02:17,006
a bit too much, but if
loving hard and living large
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00:02:17,049 --> 00:02:19,487
means I'm too much,
then guilty as charged.
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00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:26,233
I just feel so helpless,
and as we all know,
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00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:28,713
that is a dangerous feeling
for an alcoholic.
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00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:33,892
But I mean, I-I'm not gonna
drink or use over it.
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00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:36,678
I may have gone
on a bit of a shopping spree,
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00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:39,724
American Express called
to make sure I was okay.
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00:02:39,768 --> 00:02:41,639
They're so sweet.
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00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,902
Anyway, thanks.
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00:02:43,946 --> 00:02:45,904
[applause][clears throat]
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00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:47,079
Bonnie, alcoholic.
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00:02:47,123 --> 00:02:48,516
ALL:
Hi, Bonnie.
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00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:49,821
Don't worry, Jill.
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00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:51,736
Adam and Andy are watching
football tonight,
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00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,390
so I'll find out
what's going on in his head.
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00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:54,957
I'm sorry,
I know that was cross talk,
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00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,177
but she usually sits next to meand I just whisper to her
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00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:59,222
while Marjorie drones on.
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00:03:01,093 --> 00:03:02,747
Marge, bring us home.
Big finish.
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♪
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00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:27,511
Whoa.
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00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:30,819
Whoa.
[gasps] Hey.
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00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:32,168
[chuckles]:
Hey.
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00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,735
What are you doing up so late?
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00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:36,390
Uh, I'm just, uh,
watching this movie.
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00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:38,827
It's an infomercial
for Flex Seal.
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00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:41,046
Well, it's riveting.
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00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:43,005
They're making a boat
out of rags.
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00:03:43,048 --> 00:03:44,180
Could've used that
when I was trying
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00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,747
to get out of the Philippines.
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00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:49,316
Well, good night.
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00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:50,839
Wait.
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00:03:50,882 --> 00:03:51,927
How was your night with Andy?
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00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:53,145
Great.
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00:03:53,189 --> 00:03:54,712
Wait, wait.
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00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:57,062
He hasn't talked to Jillfor 16 days.
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00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:58,238
Did he say why?
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00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:59,413
It didn't come up.
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00:03:59,456 --> 00:04:00,762
You were with him all night
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00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:02,720
and it didn't come up?
No.
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00:04:02,764 --> 00:04:03,982
Then what the hell
did you talk about
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00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:05,680
for five and a half hours?
92
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:08,596
Oh, the end of the early game,
and then the whole late game.
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00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:11,207
Which actually had
a successful onside kick.
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00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,775
I mean, you just don't see it
since the rule change.
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00:04:13,818 --> 00:04:16,995
Really? The only couples friendswe've ever had are in crisis,
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00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:19,215
and you didn't ask him
anything about it?
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00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,216
No.
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00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,913
[groans] That is so men.
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00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:24,046
No feelings allowed.
100
00:04:24,089 --> 00:04:25,917
Oh, no, there were
plenty of feelings.
101
00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:28,529
You have to understand,
this onside kick...
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00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:31,314
If you say the words
"on," "side"
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00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,316
or "kick" one more time,
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00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,100
I'm going into the kitchen,
grabbing a can of soup,
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00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:37,538
and throwing it at you
as hard as I can.
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00:04:37,581 --> 00:04:39,540
Sorry.
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00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:42,020
Just really changed the ga...
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00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:44,022
Sorry.
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00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:47,548
Think. Did he say
anything at all?
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00:04:47,591 --> 00:04:49,680
Anything at all
that might explain
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00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:51,247
how he's feeling about Jill
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00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,597
or if anything's changed
in their relationship?
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00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,077
He really didn't, Bonnie.
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00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,340
The man's got a lot
on his plate right now.
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00:04:57,384 --> 00:05:00,256
He's breaking in a new partner,he's trying to make sergeant,
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00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,084
he had the Raiders plus three,
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00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:04,173
which the onside kick
completely just...
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00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:06,523
I'll just go get the can
of soup myself.
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00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:12,399
Wait a second.
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00:05:12,442 --> 00:05:13,922
Wait one damn second.
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00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:15,097
Huh? What?
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00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:17,229
Andy's new partner.Tell me more.
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00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:18,970
What? I don't know,
she was on plainclothes,
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00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:21,233
and then she spent
plainclothes..."She"?
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00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:23,105
She? She?
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00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:24,411
That's what I said.
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00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:28,110
Well, he's been partnerswith Bert for ten years.
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00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:29,285
What happened to Bert?
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00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,765
He reunited
with his twin brother
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00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:33,245
and they got picked
to do The Amazing Race.
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00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:38,033
You know, there was a third one,but Bert ate him in the womb.
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00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:44,126
Wow, well, Andy was blindsided.
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00:05:44,169 --> 00:05:46,302
And-and, uh, you know,
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00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,783
now he spends 12 hours a day
in a car with Joanna.
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00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:49,914
The skank.
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00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:51,612
Okay, ladies.
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00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:53,614
I know our brains
are excellent machines
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00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:55,311
for jumping to conclusions,
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00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,748
but we don't know anythingabout this Joanna.
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00:05:57,792 --> 00:06:00,098
I know her. I see her
all the time at the ER.
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00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:02,100
Well, there you go.I'm sure she's very...
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00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:05,321
Hold on, Marjorie, I want
to hear what Wendy has to say.
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00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:08,019
You get one a year.
Make it count.
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00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:11,632
Tell me everything about her.
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00:06:11,675 --> 00:06:13,198
She's nice.
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00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:16,985
Is that it?
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00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:18,029
Kinda.
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00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,640
Somebody get me a can of soup.
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00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:20,989
I'll get it out of her.
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00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:23,121
I don't know
what you want from me.
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00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:25,472
She has two dogs,
Barkley and Slayton.
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00:06:25,515 --> 00:06:28,083
Aw, now I feel bad
for calling her a skank.
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00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:31,826
But she still is.
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00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:34,916
What does she look like?
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00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:36,613
Your nostrils are scaring me.
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00:06:36,657 --> 00:06:39,137
Yeah. This is
getting out of hand.
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00:06:39,181 --> 00:06:40,443
Calm down, Jill.
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00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:41,879
You're right.
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00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:45,535
Wendy, honey,
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00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:47,494
what does she look like?
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00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:51,062
I don't know. She's just nice.
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00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:53,369
Around 40 years old.
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00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,675
Kind of average-looking.
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00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:57,460
[gasps] Before me,
average was Andy's type.
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00:06:57,504 --> 00:06:59,810
Okay, okay,
you have no reason to suspect
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00:06:59,854 --> 00:07:01,464
that Joanna and Andy
have anything
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00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,684
beyond a professional
relationship.
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00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:05,729
And, Jill,
you agreed to this break
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00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:06,904
to give him time to think,
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00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:08,732
and you have to honor
that agreement.
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00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:11,343
Okay, but I made that agreement
before I knew about
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00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:13,694
average Joanna
and her two damn dogs.
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00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:15,696
Oh, and she also collects
vintage dolls.
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00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:17,828
What, have you watched
a documentary on this woman?
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00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:20,483
My kingdom for a can of soup.
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00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:25,227
Steak, Tater Tots, beer and me.
177
00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:27,664
Your four favorite food groups.[chuckles]
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00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:29,057
It all looks great.
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00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:31,059
And again, my apologies.
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00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:33,104
I did not know I was striking
your handsome face
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00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:34,715
with the zipper side
of the pillow.
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00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:37,718
Apology accepted,
but if anybody at the bar asks,
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00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:40,024
I took a guy with a knife down.
184
00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:42,026
How's Jill doing?
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00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:43,375
[sighs]
Not good.
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00:07:43,419 --> 00:07:45,465
The Joanna bombshell sent her
into a tailspin,
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00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:46,814
but she'll be fine.
188
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:48,250
Yeah, but Jill's fine
and normal fine
189
00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:49,599
are not the same fine.
190
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:51,906
Go on.
191
00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:54,169
Well, you know.
She comes with a side of drama.
192
00:07:54,212 --> 00:07:56,954
It's like Andy says,
she's a bit of a handful.
193
00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:02,438
Tell me the Tater Tot
194
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:05,049
is not the most perfect form
of potato.
195
00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:07,922
You got the crispy outside,
you got the fluffy inside...
196
00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:09,271
Do you think I'm a handful?
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00:08:12,317 --> 00:08:14,102
What do you mean?
198
00:08:14,145 --> 00:08:16,191
Is that what you say about me?
199
00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:18,454
I don't say that.
200
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,456
Andy says that about Jill.
201
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:24,547
What I say about you is...
other stuff.
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00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:27,376
Wow.
203
00:08:27,419 --> 00:08:28,551
Is that a good wow?
204
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:29,726
It is not.
205
00:08:31,336 --> 00:08:32,686
I want you to explain to me
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00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:34,862
how I got in trouble
for something that Andy said.
207
00:08:34,905 --> 00:08:37,386
You know how.I-I really don't. I...
208
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:40,781
But since you're already mad,
I'll take your Tots.
209
00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:47,178
Hey, I'm just calling to see
how you're doing.
210
00:08:47,222 --> 00:08:48,876
[quietly]:
I'm doing a lot better now.
211
00:08:48,919 --> 00:08:50,399
Why are you whispering?
212
00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:52,880
Because Andy and Joanna have
their windows rolled down
213
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:55,230
and they're right in front
of me at the stop sign.
214
00:08:55,273 --> 00:08:56,797
So you're following them?
215
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,146
Yep.
216
00:08:58,189 --> 00:09:00,540
And do they know you're there?
217
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:02,019
I don't think so.
218
00:09:02,063 --> 00:09:05,022
I took my housekeeper's car
as a disguise.
219
00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:08,460
But I really wish I would've
peed before I came out here.
220
00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:11,681
Okay, I want you
to listen to me.
221
00:09:11,725 --> 00:09:14,510
This is very, very wrong.
222
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:18,470
I brought binoculars,
tacos and a jar to pee in.
223
00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:24,781
Hey, you didn't mention
that your housekeeper's car
224
00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:25,956
is also a Range Rover.
225
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,392
Yeah, I gave her my old one.
226
00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:30,613
I put that woman through hell.
227
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:33,398
Technical question:
can you see anything?
228
00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:35,923
Not really. Just give me
a heads-up if they turn.
229
00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:37,620
[sighs]
I got a better idea.
230
00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:39,666
How about I introduce you
to the Bonnie Plunkett School
231
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:41,145
of Surveillance Techniques.
232
00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:43,887
Normally a masterclass
I teach out by the airport.
233
00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:46,150
I'm doing great.
We're right behind 'em.
234
00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:47,369
Yeah. That's your first mistake.
235
00:09:47,412 --> 00:09:48,805
You never want
to be right behind them.
236
00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:51,112
In fact, the best place to be
is in front of them.
237
00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:52,461
Well, how do I do that?
238
00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:53,767
And lesson one begins.
239
00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:55,856
All right, I'll pull over.
240
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:57,205
No, you don't have to stop.
241
00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:58,902
Scooch your seat back,
here I come.
242
00:09:58,946 --> 00:10:00,730
You want to go over
or under?
243
00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:03,167
Well, pretty-pretty sure
I got to go over.
244
00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:04,604
Okay, on my mark.
245
00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:06,997
One, two, three.
246
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:09,391
Keep your foot on the pedals.
Foot on the pedals.
247
00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:11,611
And... eject!
248
00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:14,091
Aah! Oh, my God,
that worked!
249
00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:15,658
[laughing]
Ooh.
250
00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:18,748
Yeah, I only swerved four
feet over the yellow line.
251
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:20,271
Nothing from your boyfriend
up there.
252
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:21,403
What kind of cops are they?
253
00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:24,014
The kind bonded by lust.
254
00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:25,668
All right, watch and learn.
255
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:27,322
I'm gonna pull out
in front of them.
256
00:10:27,365 --> 00:10:30,760
Usually I just sketch this up
on an overhead projector,
257
00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:33,067
but let's see if
it actually works.
258
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,336
Mirror! Mirror!
Right. Right.
259
00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:44,731
Oh, God, I can only see her.
260
00:10:44,774 --> 00:10:47,168
And me, looking desperate.
261
00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:50,562
And a little puffy
from those tacos.
262
00:10:50,606 --> 00:10:52,042
Nobody stalks their boyfriend
263
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:53,696
'cause their life is
working out.
264
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,961
How is it possible
I've been sober all this time,
265
00:10:58,005 --> 00:11:00,703
and I'm still driving around,
chasing men?
266
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:03,488
Yeah, I thought sobering up
would get rid of my crazy, too,
267
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:05,795
but nope, still crazy.
268
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:09,625
Just a little less confused
during Fantasia.
269
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:13,324
Mm. Maybe we should just stop
and go home.
270
00:11:13,368 --> 00:11:15,370
I'm proud of you, Jill.
271
00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:17,720
I knew if I came out here
and spent some time with you,
272
00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:19,243
you'd start to see that...
273
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:20,984
Oh. They're pulling over.
274
00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:22,333
Quick, don't lose 'em.
275
00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:23,639
Uh, hang on.
276
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,685
[tires squealing]
277
00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:30,428
[both panting]
278
00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:32,648
Wow. They didn't
notice that, either.
279
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,954
[chuckles]
This is fun.
280
00:11:33,997 --> 00:11:35,042
It isfun.
281
00:11:36,608 --> 00:11:38,872
♪
282
00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:42,397
Two cops, two coffees,
no doughnuts. [scoffs]
283
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,399
Another myth exploded.
284
00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:49,230
Is it horrible that I wish
she were drop-dead gorgeous?
285
00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:52,712
I mean, I can't lose him to her.
286
00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:55,236
Well, that's
awfully shallow, Jill.
287
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:59,544
Although that mustache
isn't doing her any favors.
288
00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:02,373
No, wait. That's just a shadow.
289
00:12:02,417 --> 00:12:03,984
No, wait.
290
00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:06,813
Well, what the hell
is that, then?
291
00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:09,206
If I lose him to somebody
less pretty than me,
292
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:10,599
then it means it's me.
293
00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:12,166
You know, my insides.
294
00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:15,473
And I can't Botox my insides.
295
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:16,779
[sighs]
If only we could.
296
00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:17,737
Right?
297
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,394
Oh, God,
now they're laughing together.
298
00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:25,005
And that's his real laugh,
299
00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:27,747
not the fake one
he takes pity on me with.
300
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,836
Adam has one of those, too.
301
00:12:29,879 --> 00:12:31,576
Heh-heh-heh.
302
00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:32,926
Always three.
303
00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:35,276
Yeah, and they never
make eye contact.
Never.
304
00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:37,321
You know, I don't
have a fake laugh.
305
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:38,975
If something's not funny,
I just don't laugh.
306
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:40,498
And that's
what makes you awesome.
307
00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:42,805
Because you're authentic.
You are the real deal.
308
00:12:45,677 --> 00:12:47,549
I know I'm not supposed
to call him, but...
309
00:12:47,592 --> 00:12:49,769
I need to know if he's thinking
about me at all.
310
00:12:53,642 --> 00:12:55,687
Okay, he's picking up.
311
00:12:55,731 --> 00:12:57,254
He's checking caller I.D.
312
00:12:57,298 --> 00:12:58,342
And...
313
00:12:58,386 --> 00:12:59,691
he's putting it back down.
314
00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:00,823
[angry grunt]
315
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:02,520
He sent me to voice mail.
316
00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:04,131
Because he's at work.
317
00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:06,786
They probably have a rule where
they can't take personal calls
318
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:09,527
while they're having coffee
and-and-and laughing.
319
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:12,400
Okay, well, then you call him.
320
00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:14,097
Well, technically, I think
that's a personal call...
321
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:16,186
Call him.
322
00:13:19,146 --> 00:13:20,538
Okay.
323
00:13:20,582 --> 00:13:22,540
All right, he's
picking it up...
324
00:13:22,584 --> 00:13:24,455
he's looking at it...
325
00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:26,501
and he's...Hey. Andy.
326
00:13:27,502 --> 00:13:29,286
Wh-What isup?
327
00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:30,940
[nervous chuckle]
328
00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:32,594
That's a good question.
329
00:13:33,595 --> 00:13:36,598
Thanks for calling. I got to go.
330
00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:39,906
Oh, he picked up for you.
That says everything.
331
00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:42,299
But, Jill, you're on a pause
with Andy. I'm not.
332
00:13:42,343 --> 00:13:43,823
He probably picked up for me
333
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,868
because he thought it was
something to do with Adam.
334
00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,478
[ringtone playing]It's him.
335
00:13:47,522 --> 00:13:48,958
Disguise your voice.[sighs]
336
00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:50,830
It's Tammy. Calm down.
337
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:53,310
[sighs]:
Hi.
338
00:13:53,354 --> 00:13:55,660
Jill and I
are following Andy around...
339
00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:58,620
I brought licorice.Catch me up.
Red or black?
340
00:13:58,663 --> 00:14:00,491
Red. I'm not a serial killer.
341
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,580
Oh, God, please tell me
you didn't tell Marjorie
342
00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:03,843
what we're doing.
343
00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:04,974
Mm-mm. She fell asleep
on the couch.
344
00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:05,975
She doesn't even know I'm here.
345
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,672
Good, 'cause I am not up for
346
00:14:07,716 --> 00:14:09,065
the "Don't Stalk
Boyfriends" speech.
347
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:11,676
Mm.[like Marjorie]:
Girls, part of being sober
348
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:15,550
is not making choices
you're gonna have to make
an amends for down the road.
349
00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:19,032
[like Marjorie]:
Keep your focus
on yourself and your sobriety.
350
00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:20,903
[like Marjorie]: You know,
it would be nice if someone else
351
00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:22,862
cleaned the cat box
once in a blue moon.
352
00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:25,995
It's not involved with sobriety;
it's just super annoying.
353
00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:26,996
[all laughing]
354
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:30,260
♪
355
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:31,783
Now, this is recovery.
356
00:14:31,827 --> 00:14:34,047
I'm following a cop instead
of them following me.
357
00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:35,222
[Bonnie and Jill chuckle]
358
00:14:35,265 --> 00:14:37,050
Ooh, their woo-woo lights
are on!
359
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:38,616
Everybody down!
We've been made!
360
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,357
No, I think they spotted
that drunk guy
361
00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:41,706
stumbling out
of the bowling alley.
362
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,839
Oh, no shirt on.
Such a giveaway.
363
00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:49,366
What's up with those,
Pavarotti?
364
00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:51,499
I swiped them from Marjorie.
365
00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:53,893
She uses them to keep an eye out
for the coyotes
366
00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:55,503
during the cats' playtime.
367
00:14:57,853 --> 00:14:59,942
Ooh, Joanna's strong.
368
00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:01,901
That's a solid half nelson.
369
00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:04,425
Andy very dainty with the cuffs.
370
00:15:04,468 --> 00:15:05,687
Yeah. Comes from a lifetime
371
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:07,732
of being the biggest person
in the room.
372
00:15:07,776 --> 00:15:10,431
He accidentally crushed a bunny
when he was six.
373
00:15:10,474 --> 00:15:12,259
Oh, my God.That's so sad.
374
00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:14,739
I know. I've been trying
to get him into therapy.
375
00:15:14,783 --> 00:15:17,046
Easter's a very difficult
holiday for him.
376
00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:23,400
[gasps]
Andy just opened
the back door for her!
377
00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:26,229
Yeah, he kind of had to.She's got her hand
full of drunk guy.
378
00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:28,579
Drunk-gonna-vomit guy.
379
00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:30,146
Ooh!
Ooh!
Ooh!
380
00:15:31,408 --> 00:15:33,541
Joanna's caught a little splash
on her sleeve.
381
00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:35,412
[gasps]
And Andy is wiping it off
for her.
382
00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:37,458
That is intimate behavior!
383
00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:39,982
I-I'm trying to think if Adam
384
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:41,984
would wipe someone's vomit
off mysleeve.
385
00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:43,246
I guess he would.
386
00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:44,595
Of course he would.
387
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:46,771
He's a gentleman.
388
00:15:50,514 --> 00:15:52,342
[clicks tongue, sighs]
389
00:15:52,386 --> 00:15:54,518
Aren't you glad we don't drink
like that anymore?
390
00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:55,998
And keep our shirts on?
391
00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:58,870
[chuckles softly]Yeah. We're so healthy now.
392
00:16:00,524 --> 00:16:02,222
♪
393
00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:05,442
Aw. Who bet theywere taking him
to the hospital?
394
00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:06,835
I did.
395
00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:09,142
Damn it, I thought jail
was a stone-cold lock.
396
00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:10,882
Thank you, thank you.
397
00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:13,059
Oop. They're
dragging him out.
398
00:16:13,102 --> 00:16:15,583
Marone,
shirtless puker's out cold.
399
00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:17,063
And he lost a sneaker.
400
00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:19,065
Been there. You know,
people don't understand.
401
00:16:19,108 --> 00:16:21,981
Every time you see a lone
sneaker in the middle of a road,
402
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,983
there's a story.
403
00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:27,551
Hey, when did Joanna have time
to put on lipstick?
404
00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:30,119
Oh, cut her some slack--
she's got puke on her sleeve.
405
00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:31,991
What are you guys doing?
406
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,122
Get in. Close the door.
407
00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:34,428
We're spying
on Jill's boyfriend.
408
00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:38,998
Dang it, I miss everything
since I took the night shift.
409
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:40,782
Ooh. Licorice.
410
00:16:40,825 --> 00:16:42,958
Hey, what's going on
with the drunk guy?Yeah, did he hit his head?
411
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,525
No. We got to pump
his stomach.
412
00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:46,048
Yeah! I win again. Pay up.
413
00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:47,963
And there's a warrant out
for his arrest,
414
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,486
so he's going to jail after.
415
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,401
Yes! Come to mama!
416
00:16:52,924 --> 00:16:55,492
Hey. See, now, right there,
why do they have to stand
417
00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:57,842
so close while they're
going over the little notepads?
418
00:16:57,886 --> 00:17:00,106
"He puked on you,
yes he did, done."
419
00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:01,977
Hey, there's this guy
in radiology,
420
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,805
his name's Lorne,
he was in Desert Storm...
421
00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:06,982
Nobody cares about
Desert Storm Lorne.
422
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,157
Joanna does.
423
00:17:08,201 --> 00:17:10,072
They just moved in together.
424
00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:12,596
What?
425
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,598
Yeah. They found
this cute little one-bedroom
426
00:17:14,642 --> 00:17:16,165
in a converted firehouse.
427
00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:19,038
You mean to tell me we've been
following them around all night
428
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:20,691
and she's got a boyfriend?
429
00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:22,954
This firehouse,
does it still have the pole?
430
00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:26,393
Oh, I always wanted a house
with a fireman's pole.
431
00:17:26,436 --> 00:17:29,613
Oh, you guys, Andy's
not cheating on me.
432
00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:31,224
He loves me.
433
00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:33,574
My sweet little bunny
killer loves me.
434
00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:36,098
[knocks on door][others gasp]
435
00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:38,144
Step out of the car.
436
00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:39,623
No, uh...
437
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,147
just Jill.
438
00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:45,020
How ya been?
439
00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:48,067
♪
440
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:50,286
Wendy, don't you need
to get back inside?
441
00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:52,767
I'm the head nurse--
I can do whatever I want.
442
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,682
Head nurse?Since when?
443
00:17:54,725 --> 00:17:56,814
Last year,
right after I moved.
444
00:17:56,858 --> 00:17:59,426
You moved?Do you guys listen
to anything...
445
00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:02,255
Shh! It's getting heavy.
446
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:03,952
I wish I could read lips.
447
00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:06,172
I can. I took a class
out by the airport.
448
00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:08,174
It's like a major university
out there.
449
00:18:08,217 --> 00:18:09,740
You can study anything.
450
00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:11,438
We don't need to read lips,
you guys.
451
00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:13,135
This is a full-on breakup.
452
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:14,354
What makes you say that?
453
00:18:14,397 --> 00:18:16,747
He just handed her a
key and she's crying.
454
00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:18,140
Ooh. Here she comes.
455
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:20,360
Act like we
don't know everything.
456
00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:27,410
What happened?How'd it go?
457
00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:28,716
We're just sitting here.
458
00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:32,763
[crying]:
Well, the pause is over.
459
00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:34,852
Now we're on full stop.
460
00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:36,593
Oh, honey.
461
00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:40,423
I guess it's true,
I am a bit too much.
462
00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:41,424
No.
No.
No.
463
00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:42,512
I am.
464
00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:43,774
[sniffles]
465
00:18:43,818 --> 00:18:45,776
But for the record,
so are all of you.
466
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:46,429
♪
467
00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:52,261
Go ahead and say it.
468
00:18:52,305 --> 00:18:54,263
I should've kept
the focus on myself.
469
00:18:54,307 --> 00:18:57,788
Oh, honey, I'm not gonna say
anything like that.
470
00:18:57,832 --> 00:19:00,574
Breaks my heart
to see you suffering.
471
00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:03,229
I will talk
to the two of you later.
472
00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:06,884
I can't believe I blew it.
473
00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:08,886
This was
the best relationship I've had
474
00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:10,279
since my marriage ended.
475
00:19:10,323 --> 00:19:12,803
Mm. I remember,
and you said
476
00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:17,286
that you would never meet anyone
you cared about ever again.
477
00:19:17,330 --> 00:19:18,809
But you did.
478
00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:21,856
And it's gonna happen
this time, too.
479
00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:25,294
Hey.
480
00:19:25,338 --> 00:19:27,427
I didn't know I was walking
into the girls' dorm.
481
00:19:29,777 --> 00:19:31,692
Heh-heh-heh.
482
00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:35,043
Always three.
483
00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:36,305
What did Andy do now?
484
00:19:36,349 --> 00:19:38,481
If I tell you,
you'd have to pay for it.
485
00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:40,004
I appreciate the heads-up.
486
00:19:40,048 --> 00:19:42,093
Now get out.
Bad time to have a penis.
487
00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:43,182
Captioning sponsored by
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488
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:44,444
and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
489
00:19:44,487 --> 00:19:44,748
and TOYOTA.
490
00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:54,193
Captioned by
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35426
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