Original subtitles

- Previously on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

- What a dump. - Is that my beloved?

- Oh, my God. - Georgie!

- Oh, there she is. - Boy George

is a big part of the family.

I mean, he lives here, for crying out loud.

- Does it make you feel good to do what you're doing?

- I feel really good about myself. Do you?

- Well, then good. I think my intentions are good, yes.

- Are they? - We, as sober women,

come from a place of love and honesty.

That there's just something deeper here.

- You love to make a big circle of things.

- I'm gonna be very honest with you.

- So you're telling me... - You said to me...

- That I'm bringing... Stop talking.

You talk too much.

- Kyle, welcome to Mykonos.

[squealing, laughing]

- Thank you for having me. - You're performing

for 30,000 people.

Don't f... it up. - I'm not...

- I know we had some weird sh...

I really do apologize.

And I would rather just start fresh.

- Me too. - And put all this behind us.

- That sounds good to me, girls.

[upbeat music]

- The crown is heavy, darlings,

so just leave it where it belongs.

♪ ♪

- I may be two people, but I'm not two-faced.

♪ ♪

- My advice to you: don't hustle the hustler.

♪ ♪

- I speak no evil, but I see and hear everything.

♪ ♪

- When you've traveled the world,

you can speak in any accent you want.

♪ ♪

- I'm an expert on luxury, and I can always spot a fake.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, bubba.

- Hi. - What are you doing?

- Oh, I was just replying to something.

You know, Pele, he's just killing me

at the moment.

This is yours, by the way. You left it here.

- Thanks, honey bunny.

So Cory's on his way over here.

We're gonna chat about the party and some logistics.

I'm under as much pressure as you could possibly imagine.

My husband just threw me the most killer 40th birthday party.

Both: Oh, my God!

- Wow.

♪ ♪

Now it's his turn.

PK is turning 49 years old.

And I need to do something... Not so much big...

But definitely special.

Speak of the devil. - Hello.

- Hello, you. - How are you?

I heard there's a party happening.

- Oh. - How are you?

- And just for checks.

- My vision for PK's birthday

is to do something sexy, slightly intimate

but it's gotta have a real...

[bell dings] Pow.

I want it to be simple, elegant.

We've got a nice little surprise.

- Okay. Should I know about that?

- Well, you can know about it, 'cause you have to actually

help solve the problem. - Set it up, right?

- It's not a surprise for you. It's my birthday.

[laughter]

- So George is going to sing a few numbers.

- Okay.

- We're gonna have a... - Like, solo, or, like band...

- No, we're bringing the whole band.

- The whole thing is, we don't want people to know

that he's gonna perform. - Okay.

- But somehow we have to cover the equipment in the area.

So how do we do that? 'Cause we don't want them

to see the... [laughter]

- Are you serious right now? - I swear to God.

- Okay. - It means everything to me

that George will do a special, private performance

for just us and our friends.

This is probably the only time he'll ever do it.

What about if we do, like, a partition, right?

- I mean, you could do that. We can say,

"Oh, we're doing some work."

- I can say, "Oh, sorry, guys. Please forgive the work."

- Yeah, we had an accident. You know, there was

a helicopter that flew into the building.

There's a big hole in the side of the house.

- You and I are going to spend the entire night

thinking about what we can say. - We could do that.

Can I choose the food?

- Definitely. It's about the only thing

I want you in control of.

- Okay. [laughter]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Thank you so much. - Thank you.

- All right. - Oh, this is pretty.

- Isn't this cute?

- Hi. - Hello.

- Hi, how are you? - How are you?

- I'm fine. - Thank you so much.

- Thank you.

So nice.

- Enjoy your dinner. Both: Thank you so much.

- You're welcome. - This is truly beautiful, Kyle.

- Cheers. both: To you.

- Thanks for coming all the way over here just for me.

- Are you kidding me? I love it.

- Have a good time.

I go on at 3:00 a.m. - Oh, my God.

- So I proposed that we stay up all night.

Sleep all day. - We're probably gonna have to.

- In order to stay on schedule. - Okay.

- You really do only get one chance to debut a single.

And I gotta go out there and I gotta kick ass tonight.

- So is Tom so excited you're here too?

- Yes, which I need to check in with him.

- I love how supportive he is.

I mean, you've been supporting him all these years

and being his wife on his arm.

Now it's his turn to support you a little.

- Exactly. People don't realize that

we've been together 17 years.

The first ten, 12 years, I was totally doing his life.

And now I'm doing, you know, my thing.

- I love it. - Having a girlfriend

is different than having, like, say,

hanging out with the dancer boys.

You're really taking off too. Is he proud of you?

- It's similar, 'cause I was only a wife and mom.

That was it, you know? Now, all of a sudden,

you know, like, we started with the store

and now with the scripted show.

He is so proud. - This is a feminine energy.

You can talk about family and husbands and kids

and, you know, she can relate.

Those other fools, they don't know what's going on.

So what's going on with your TV Land show?

- It's so funny. It's bringing up

so many memories. - Good ones, though, yeah?

- Both. I'll hear a song, and I'll think,

I remember being in my mom's Seville,

driving on the 405... - Not her Cadillac Seville!

- Yes! With an 8-track,

with my sisters in the back.

So it's bringing up all these, like, emotions and memories.

And it's been really interesting.

My mom was glamorous, she was beautiful,

and she could be scary. [laughs]

You either loved her or you hated her.

If she didn't like you,

she would tell you straight to your face.

My, like, oldest memory is being sound asleep

and my mom, like, picking me up and carrying me to the car

with a pillow and a blanket.

It was pitch black out and she would drive me...

- Was she driving you to set? - To Simi Valley.

And I would arrive as the sun was rising.

- For "Little House on the Prairie."

- For "Little House"? - Yeah.

- And how old were you? - Five.

- That's a lot for a kid to go through.

I'm gonna call Tom really quickly.

[phone line trilling]

- Hello? - Hi, baby, it's me.

Just want to let you know how much I love you

and thank you so much for supporting me and loving me.

I really appreciate it. - Do you think it was nice

that I paid the extra money and have the full moon?

- Yes! [both laughing]

Keep paying the extra money for the full moon; we love it.

I love you, babe. - I love you back.

- Bye-bye. - Good-bye.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Here I come.

I'm doing it old school.

- That is fantastic.

- Those are nice. Are those new?

- They're brand-new. - Mwah. Hi, lovey.

- I got some for Dorit. You know, she's never been before.

- Oh, well, that's a disaster waiting to happen.

- Vinny and I love to go Rollerblading.

We go down to Venice Beach;

we skate around;

we do a few shots of tequila in the bars.

- Come on. - Look at this, look at this.

- I wear it the other way. - Oh. [laughs]

- Love Rollerblading.

- Hi, girls. - Hello!

- I'm prepared to meet my doom.

- You've never done this before, right?

- Never in a million years. - Oh, my God, you are so game.

I love that. - We've all agreed

to hit the reset button.

So if this is what I have to do

to show that I'm prepared to move forward,

well, then, so be it.

But I'd much rather be

taking a nice walk down Rodeo Drive.

It's far more my speed.

- Here. Here. - How am I supposed to stand up?

- Oh, my God. [squeals] - Okay, there.

Oh, yeah, come here and put your helmet on.

- And I have to look ugly? - Hold on.

- I've got your hands. - Okay.

- Put your helmet on. - Let me tell you something.

There's somebody in this group I'm never gonna forgive

for as long as I live. - Oh, not that again.

- Okay, turn around. - Okay.

- How am I supposed to turn around?

- Turn. Hold my hand. Try to walk in them.

Try to step, like this.

- That's the most unnatural thing ever.

- There we go. - Ahh!

- Okay, we're doing good. - [screams]

- You just went three feet. - There we go.

- Imagine if I just let go and started doing like, some twirls

and stuff like that. - Yeah, you're doing it.

- And start skating backwards. [laughter]

- Ow. Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.

There we go. Ow, ow, ow. - Oh, my God!

- I think we've got a ringer, Lisa.

- Oh, wait! Oh! - Okay.

- Oh, maybe not. - Can we please be done

with exercising now? [laughter]

- I like Dorit. There's something about her

that's very endearing.

I like anybody who's willing to move on.

I think that's part of a good friendship.

You can have your moments, get into it and then move on.

- Well happy birthday to PK. - Yes, thank you.

And you know what? I though I'd do, like, a little

drinks at the house for his birthday.

- Oh, wow. - Get all the girls together.

So I'd love for you guys to come.

- Okay. - I've also invited

Eden and Camille. - Love Camille.

- Oh, great! - And as well, Lisa...

- Yes? - I was going to ask

Kim Richards. - Okay.

- Are you okay with that? - Absolutely, 100%.

- All right. - But I do appreciate

you saying... - That is, that's really nice.

- Isn't it? I don't always get a heads up,

so I appreciate it and thank you.

And it's all good.

- I thought maybe we could give Kyle and Erika a call.

Both: That's a great idea. - You know,

wish her good luck at her show.

[phone line trilling]

- Hello. - [gasps] Erika!

Both: Hi, Erika! - It's Eileen, Lisa, and Dorit.

How are you? - Hey, guys!

All: Hi!

- We're calling to wish you luck and have a great show.

- Aww, thank you so much, guys. That is so sweet of you.

- Where are you guys? - We're just teaching Dorit

how to Rollerblade. - What?

- [laughs] - Wait, wait.

- We are... and she did a great job.

- She's amazing. She's a natural.

- Where is this? - Beach, probably.

- Deep... [together] In the Valley.

[laughter]

- Not... in the Valley? - The Valley?

[both laughing]

- It is curious that they were all together

after they were not getting along at Game Night.

But you know what? I have seen some crazy sh...

In this group, so I'm not gonna judge.

All right, ladies. Hey, thank you so much for calling.

- We love you. Break a leg. - Have a wonderful show, Erika.

- Have the best show, ever. - Bye, guys.

All: Bye!

- They're silly. - Rollerblading?

- In the Valley? [both laughing]

- Coming up... [crowd cheering]

[upbeat music]

- XLSIOR Mykonos! - Whoo!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- So obviously, it's 2:00 right now.

- We're late? - We're late.

- Oh. - So there's that.

- Do we have to go right up on 3:00?

- We're gonna go when we're ready.

- Okay. - We flew all the way here

with 15 people. - Hello.

- And Kyle! [laughter]

- There she is! - Hey, there.

- You missed sound check. You would have loved

the entrance to the stage, honey.

- Tell me. - Well, it's on a cliff.

Like, there's an LED wall and then there's the cliff.

This stage is legitimately built on a cliff.

Wow.

I've done a lot of sh... I've never done this.

- This is so cool.

- Lia, it's cool 'cause you have on tennis shoes, okay?

This could be it. Erika Jayne could boop.

Take a dive. - That's so dangerous.

- I know. - The boys are here.

- What's going on, man? - We are ready to go.

- Take off your shirts, 'cause you're gonna get...

- ♪ Taking clothes off ♪ - More cut.

- Abs. - Oh, my gosh.

Their abs are pretty on point. - I like extra abs.

- Here, I'll handle the abs. Hold on.

- [laughs]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Yes, Puffy. Do you want a biscuit yourself?

Do you want a biscuit, Puffy?

♪ ♪

Hello. How are you? - Hello, beautiful.

How are you? - You look so different.

You look... - My hair's down.

- Come in. - Thank you for having me.

This is beautiful.

- So come out here. I thought we'd sit outside.

It's such a lovely day.

Oh, look, there's my ponies. They've just come up.

- [gasps] - There's, like,

fields down there where they run around.

- Do you swing? - Who's asking me to swing?

If you find a husband then I might try it.

[both laughing]

Don't take anything I say seriously.

I thought Eden was quite

an interesting character at Game Night.

So I thought I'd invite her over for tea

and get to know her a little better.

Are you dating? - As of Thursday, it ended.

- Two days ago? - Yes.

- 48 hours? - Yes.

- What happened? - [laughs]

- How long have you been with him, then?

- It was three weeks. - What did he do?

- And then he attacked me. And then...

- What do you mean, he attacked you?

- He quit smoking because I said I won't date a smoker.

He starts these nicotine mints.

So he eats this big cheeseburger, which I'm like,

"Ugh, God."

And then he reaches for the mint and I'm like,

"Hey, funny how you reach for the mint.

"Kinda like smokers reach for the cigarette

after they have a full, big meal."

- And he's like... [geese honking]

"I've dated type A women."

I said, "You lost me at type A. [horse neighs]

I will not put up with this."

- But what else did he do?

- He... he called me type A.

- I've heard of people breaking up because of affairs.

I've heard people breaking up because of arguing.

I've never heard of anybody breaking up over a cheeseburger.

[ponies neighing]

What was that? - That wasn't very nice.

- Hey, hey! - She kicked up her hind leg.

- Did she... who kicked up? Little one?

- Yes, the big one kicked the little one.

- Well, you see, women fight sometimes.

Like they have to.

Well, what about the other night?

It all kicked off the other night.

- Never said a word about him. - Kim, you know what?

You played dirty. - I never said a word about him.

- Well, let's talk about your arrest.

Why don't we do that? - Oh, Lisa, come on!

- A table full of beautiful women just, like,

expressing some unresolved emotions.

- I've had a couple of moments when she's been...

a little aggressive or whatever.

But Kim's great. She's had a hard time.

The way Eden inserted herself

into the situation with Kim at Game Night,

I'm not sure that was a good idea.

- I was a complete functioning alcoholic.

Having a mother recovering alcoholic

and a sister who overdosed,

why did I drink for so many years?

My sister died of a drug overdose.

And I don't know if she chose to

or it was an accident.

I never really explored my sister's death.

I just knew that at some point she had to go.

- Really? - Yeah.

So here's a woman who is

not strong enough to live this life.

- What made you decide, then, to become sober?

Was it because of your sister, or...

- No. It was six months after my dad passed.

I woke up, really, on the edge of my bed

I was like, "When? When are you gonna stop?

You have your life. You've been given a gift."

- Right. - "You have children."

I went right from there to a meeting.

- Wow. Well, good job for you. - Thank you.

- You know. - I love it.

And I love to poke others

to awaken them to the life that I have now.

- Yeah. - That you're capable of that.

- Have you talked to Kim about this, then?

- No, but I want to. - She's been up and down.

She's been in... - Well, she has the behavior of

a straight-on alcoholic.

She's struggling. - Have you spent time around her

or just that night you're thinking of?

- I don't need to spend that much time to... she's struggling.

- I don't have a great deal of experience in this matter.

But surely, as long as she's sober,

and she's not taking pills or alcohol,

isn't that enough?

- And then Kyle, I see the enabling.

With my sister... - I don't think Kyle enables.

- Well, just kinda sitting back and, like, watching this.

- No, no. Kyle doesn't enable Kim.

Enabling behavior, maybe, is just turning a blind eye.

But Kyle is not that person.

I know that for sure.

Kyle has stepped in many times. - Yeah.

- Like, really in, you know, the best way.

- In the thick of it all. - Oh, yeah.

- Even to walk away and say,

"I can't do this anymore."

Kyle is an enabler to Kim

because she allows this behavior to continue.

She allows her to speak in ways

that a sober woman shouldn't speak.

It's just behavior that as a sister,

maybe you might want to say something.

- It's definitely been a very fractious relationship.

But they do ultimately love each other.

They do. - Yeah.

- So I saw all this happening and I'm like,

"Oh, my God, I'm watching my family."

And I just sort of lost it. I broke down.

- Did you? - Yeah.

Watching Kim and Kyle,

I see Kyle possibly standing where I stand now.

And that's not having a sister.

[sighs]

[upbeat music]

- Inside, we have to go inside.

If you could help us to that dressing room,

that would be great, thank you.

- Let's go, my beautiful.

- How are you doing? Are you ready for this?

- Yeah, of course. If it's one,

rock back one, one,

boom, boom. - Step and step,

this foot, this foot.

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God! - Do you like it?

- You look amazing! - Thank you!

This'll be fun, right? - Oh, my God. Whoo!

- Thanks for being here. - I am so excited.

Let me get that out of your eye, there we go.

- Thank you. - It's 3:30

in the f... ing morning right now.

- Yeah. - You ready to

get to the stage? - I have to be.

I have no choice. I better be ready.

We're gonna say a prayer. You wanna be in prayer with us?

- Yeah. - Yeah, you have to.

- I'm totally excited. I really want to

get out there and make these people smile.

They're gonna be [claps] smashed together.

They're gonna be ready to have a good time.

And I'm gonna give it to 'em.

- Let's just go out there and put on

a f... ing amazing show.

Sex on a platter, pump it up, tits, ass, d... s throbbing.

I love you all. On three, "Pretty Mess."

One, two, three. All: "Pretty Mess!"

- I've never heard those words

while saying a prayer in my life.

I may be Jewish now. I was raised Catholic.

Nobody says prayers like that.

- Where's my microphone? - In Lia's hand.

Put on this. Two in the front, two in the back.

Tag team.

All right, ready? You're gonna lead?

Okay. Follow.

[energetic music]

♪ ♪

- [unintelligible yelling]

♪ ♪

I tell you what, I am concerned

about being blown off this cliff.

I can feel the wind. I can feel the sea spray.

I'm in super high, custom Chanel boots,

trying not to slip through this tiny, little sh... y ladder

and fall off the cliff.

F... me, man.

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

- You know it's time to get loud for Erika Jayne.

[cheering]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- XLSIOR Mykonos!

♪ I'm a princess ♪

♪ I'm a temptress ♪

♪ I'm a pretty mess ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Painkiller ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I feel like I'm a star ♪

♪ On the rise ♪

♪ Like a painkiller ♪

All right, XLSIOR! Who wants to get crazy?

This is the first time I'm performing this song.

It's my new single.

♪ My kitty's like a python ♪

♪ Tick ticking like a time bomb ♪

♪ Limited edition gotta buy it with no try-on ♪

Wind blowing, smoke, like, laser beams.

It's a big deal.

♪ And I still don't give a f... ♪

♪ It's expensive to be me ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ That's just who I be, it's expensive to be me ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Coming up... - What if I want to

put vodka in this? - I have to be honest,

I have thrown a Xanax in. - Ooh!

- Oh, I would do that.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[doorbell dings] - Someone's really excited

to see you. - Hello!

Hi, gorgeous. - Mwah!

- Come into my humble abode. - It's so beautiful.

Hey, buddy. What a cute house.

I love it.

- When's Dorit gonna be here?

- Those are good! All of them.

- You though I was making you a shake?

- When? - I'm kidding.

- When? - Oh, my God!

Go sit down and talk to Lisa before you drive me crazy.

- I just need to ask you something.

- Go, go, go! - Tyler's the cutest thing.

He has a lot of energy.

He is precocious but in a good way.

Are you like this all the time?

Do you never stop? - Yeah.

- If I was your mom and I was like,

"Okay, time for you to stop,"

what would I say to you?

- Bribe him. - [laughs]

- Yes, I think bribery works. We all know that.

[knock at door] - Oh!

- Get the door. - Who is it?

- It's Dorit. - Hello, hi.

- Hello, handsome. - Well, you gotta let her in

and then close it. [laughter]

- Yeah, let me tell you something,

you've got a captive audience.

Ohh!

- Hi, you. - Hi!

I love being with my kids,

but it's nice to be having some girl time

outside of being a mom and spit-up on your shirt

and poopy in your hands and you know, the whole nine yards.

I'm excited that you're coming tomorrow night, Eden.

- Thank you for inviting me, my love.

- Yes. - Oh, wait, you haven't

been to the house yet. - No.

- It looks fabulous. - You haven't met my husband.

- No, I haven't, so I need... What does he like?

- Oh, don't worry about that. - No, I will come up

with a perfect Eden gift.

- She is so good at gifts. - What's a perfect Eden gift?

- She's very good with crystals and things.

- Oh. - I was on Main Street

and there's an amazing crystal shop.

Just... - Oh, my God. I can't even.

"Clears toxic emotional and old pains."

- We drink aloe in the house. - Yeah, I know.

Boys seem to. - Oh, thanks!

- Just tell me the benefits of it.

- It, like, oxygenates our blood.

So it cleanses. - Probably tastes terrible.

- Okay, well when in Rome. - Cheers!

- Back in the day, hey, I would've had, you know,

the champagne, the wine, the this and that.

I want you to taste my smoothie.

But now you get smoothies.

♪ Sober.

- This is a first for me, I think,

having a smoothie at 8:00 at night.

- Mmm. It's quite good. - Mmm.

- What if I wanna put vodka in this?

- You can do whatever you want. - Okay, that would be a first.

I've never seen alcohol... - I don't have it.

- I have to be honest. I have not put

alcohol in a smoothie, but I have thrown a Xanax in.

- Ooh. Oh, I would do that.

- I would never think to put a Xanax in my smoothie.

- I take medication. I just don't "drink."

- Just seems a bit odd. I don't know.

Can you take pills if you're a sober person?

- I'm gonna show you one thing, and I'm not gonna tell you

what it is... what's in it... But this is what

I carry around right now. [laughs]

- Wait, I bet you I could all...

I bet you I could name a bunch of those.

- This is mostly vitamins.

- Yeah, it's mostly vitamins. So these ones...

I know much... I know my stuff. - That's a sleeping pill.

- Okay. This is my multivitamin B.

Find it, find the Xanax. Oh, there it is. I see it.

This is for your adrenals.

Don't look too close. [laughs] - I know!

- Sleeping pill.

- So they're oval. - That's not it.

You get stung by a bee? Got it covered.

Got a little headache? Got it covered.

Wait, you just passed it. - Oh, hold on.

- It was right there. - That?

- Yeah! Anybody else need anything

while I've got my bag out?

- I have a newfound love for you.

- Oh. Do you? - Consider us like this.

- You know when you fell for me?

I'll tell you. When I said

I pop a Xanax in a smoothie.

You went like this... Love at first sight.

- Did you see the hearts? - I did.

- I mean, in my eyes. - I saw the pills

dripping out, like, floating up. [laughter]

- Something's in this smoothie. We're too giddy.

- There's nothing, but I could put something in.

- You. [laughter]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, we made it. - One, two, step, gravel.

- Rise and shine. - After party!

- This is insane. - After party.

Let me tell you something, baby,

I am so ready to keep this party going.

I feel incredible. We had a great show.

The sun is rising, but who cares?

- Party's getting started over here.

- That's right, bitches. I'm ready.

[all cheering]

Okay, so what do we wanna show? The sun rise?

- Yeah, this. Oh, yeah, this full body.

Uh, done.

- Head back? Head forward. - Yes, oh, head back.

- You just model your bikini and don't mind me over here.

- Yes, yes, yes. Oh, God. Hold on, hold on.

- I'm happy here with my little bowl of pasta.

And meanwhile, she's like, "How many f... s do I give?

Zero, zero, zero f... s!"

- Kyle, your turn. Where's your white crochet?

We could make it work. - I'm just not

feeling it right now.

- Kyle's a mom; she's a businesswoman; she's a wife.

But you know what? She's a sexy mother... er.

I got her in her swimsuit.

This is the perfect way to wrap up this trip.

You'll never forget it.

- I'm not gonna take off the... This looks weird now.

- Oh, Miss I Don't Wanna Take Off My Sh...!

Yeah!

Oh, this makes me so happy.

This is the Kyle that I love to see.

She's a natural showgirl. She gets it.

This is the Kyle that I wish was around all the time.

Because she's just f... ing cool.

- Feel yourself a little bit.

- Feel it, feel it. Own it! Yes!

- Rich bitches unite.

- Coming up...

- I'm starting to get a little bit funny again.

- She's gonna reach for that drink and good-bye.

- I mean, all of a sudden, I'm like, ugh.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Honey, tell them to bring it in ASAP.

Beef it up or take it out.

One or the other, but you can't leave this.

This looks like something that I picked up

on the side of the street.

No, it's not good.

PK, I don't know why so pathetic.

- He's put dead roses out.

- Not only they're dead, there's nothing to them.

- No. - There's three roses per thing.

A great party for me is when the atmosphere's right:

the drinks are good, the food is perfect, it's elegant.

- We've got a problem. Not enough flowers.

- And these flowers are tragic.

- He's rattling a bit weirdly. I don't know why.

- Is it his or Roy's? - No, it's him.

Stop a minute. You play, Roy.

- I'm absolutely despising this black partition.

I'd never have an eyesore like that in my party.

But I have to be able to pull this off.

It's the most important thing of the night

as far as I'm concerned.

Hi! - And you are?

- The lady of the house. I know you like to think you are.

But I actually am.

♪ ♪

[dog barking] - Stop barking.

Stop. You wanna talk to Kyle?

Be good boys.

[phone line trilling]

- Hello? - How are you?

I'm good. How are you?

- Bloody hell, when did you get back?

- Like, a minute ago. - Was it fun?

- Oh, it's so fun. It was amazing.

I loved it. Oh, Portia wants to talk to you, hold on.

- How are your miniature horses?

- How are my miniature horses? They're really good.

- She wants to come over and see them.

- Well, she wants to come...

- You and I can have a sleepover.

- You wanna come... - Did you hear that?

- She wants to come to the sleepover.

- Yep. - Well, now she's

out of diapers, I'm up for it.

My diaper days are over for a little while.

- What about Ken? He said you talked...

- Well, that's not for a few years, Kyle.

Don't be mean, okay?

There's no leakage yet. - You're the one who said it!

[both laughing]

- Well, at least I can go to Rinna

and ask to borrow some of hers.

- Oh! [both laughing]

- What are you gonna wear? - I'm going to wear,

I think, a black dress.

- Me too. - Okay. I'll see you at Dorit's

in a little bit. - All right, then, darling.

All right, I'll see you then. Bye!

- I'm having a breakdown. - George.

- You got flower dramas. Now you know what Elton John feels like.

[laughter]

- George and I have such a great relationship.

Two people that love each other,

that love to have a laugh together.

- No one's gonna notice. The most important thing

is you look amazing. - Obviously.

- Everything else is secondary. - Detail.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hello!

- Is that... Hi, Deb! - Hi!

[indistinct chatter] - Hi!

- How are you? - Oh.

- Well, you look gorgeous, Erika.

- Thank you very much.

- This is a step up from the last time

you came to my party in the t-shirt dress.

- I don't know if Dorit can pull off the t-shirt dress.

Happy birthday to you. - Thank you.

- Thank you for having me.

I mean, if she could, she would.

But she's not, so she won't.

- You know she was in Mykonos?

- Is Mykonos overrated, or is it as good as they say?

- I enjoyed it. - It's the new Ibiza, isn't it?

- I guess so. It's really cool. It's very charming.

Like, the whole town is super cut.

- Oh, Erika,

do you want to meet my daughter? - Oh, my God, I would love to.

- Peggy. Come here, my precious little angel... be careful.

- This is Erika. Erika, this is Peggy.

- Hi. - Hi, Peggy.

I've heard lovely things about you.

- Hello, gorgeous. - Would you like to meet

a fellow diva?

Erika, this is Phoenix. Phoenix, this is Erika.

- Look at this beautiful little face.

- Oh, there she is! - Look at this baby.

Hi, ladies. - Hello!

- Look at this gorgeous child.

- Hey, darling. - Hi, pretty.

- How are you? - Great, how are you?

Hi, happy birthday. - Thank you, babe.

How are you? - Good.

- It's a baby. - Oh, Peggy, Peggy.

It's too much for her. - Is this the birthday boy?

- I'm guessing who you are. - This is Eden.

- I know who you are, Eden. How are you?

Nice to meet you. - Can you come to the barbecue

that we're having? - Yes, yes.

- Good. - I will be there.

- Harry's grilling. - Okay.

- Well, I'm coming in real barbecue wear.

- Jeans and t-shirt, jeans and flannel, jeans and whatever.

- I showed up in jeans and t-shirt

at Kyle's barbecue and they're all in gowns.

You said barbecue, I said casual.

- I know. Well you know what? I had on jeans

and I wasn't feeling it. So I had to change.

- I had some water damage. So forgive the ugly...

- You did? So you just put up your curtain.

- I put up a curtain, I was like, oh...

- I like it. - A little pipe and drape

never hurt anybody. - That's right.

I love a good pipe and drape, honey.

It covers many things. Right?

- I think they're buying my little white lie.

- Lady V is here. - Hey, hi!

Hold on a second, let me waddle down, here.

- Oh, you never waddle. - Hey, beautiful.

- Hi. You look lovely. - How are you, babe?

- Every time I see you, you look different.

Both: How are you? - Happy birthday.

- Thank you.

- As you can see, I'm in the construction business.

We had some nightmare leak, by the way.

- Nightmare leak and I had to... - You're such a liar.

- I swear to you. - And I had to cover.

- You're such a liar. I've known PK too long.

I'm not buying it.

- Can I welcome you all

to Dorit's Buddha lounge.

- Happy birthday, darling.

- Oh, my God!

- He's got something up his little English sleeve.

I know something's going on behind there.

- There's nothing going on, babe.

All right. Mold. - Huh?

- Mold.

- Coming up...

- I know I told everyone earlier

that I've had some water damage.

[all exclaim]

- We had some nightmare leak, by the way.

- Nightmare leak, and I had... - You're such a liar.

- I swear to you. - And I had to cover.

You're such a liar. I know something's

going on behind there. - There's nothing

going on, babe. All right, mold.

If you do a magic trick and you're the sort of person

that wants to tell everybody how the magic trick is,

eventually no one's gonna ask you to join them at parties.

So tonight, there's f... ing mold behind the curtain.

- Right? - All right?

- I can feel it now. I can smell it.

- You can smell it. - I can smell it.

- You got it? - It's terrible.

- It's mold. - I think we all should leave.

- Nasty mold.

- Lisa Vanderpump is... She's too shrewd

to pull one over on her.

- I know who you are. - Oh, are you PK?

- I'm PK. - I know, I already

got you down, PK. I'm so glad.

I've heard some amazing things about you.

- All true, you know? - I heard, I heard.

- Oh, that's very sweet. Thank you.

- I wasn't quite sure what to get you, so...

- You don't have to put an English accent on

to talk to me. - No, I like to. I...

- [imitating American accent] Well, I'm gonna talk like you.

You know? - [laughs]

- Come here, babe.

- Let me hold on to the stairs, or something.

- Come here. - I have a bad leg, so...

I think I might... I have a bad knee.

It doesn't work all the way.

- Hi, you. - Hi!

- Oh, honey, I'm sorry about your knee.

- Hi. - You look beautiful.

- What happened to your knee?

- I had my foot injury and then I tripped over my crutches.

- I helped her down the stairs and yet I'm getting

nothing from Kim right now.

Oh, thanks.

- Hey! - Hello.

- Good to see... - Do you know Kim?

- Yes, of course. - Hi, nice to see you.

- She looks beautiful. - Nice to see you.

- You ladies look beautiful. - Husbands you need

to keep fed. - Absolutely.

- Because they're the ones who get moody.

Both: Hi. - How are you?

- Good, how are you, Kim? - Nice to see you.

You look beautiful. - You look really good.

I love it. Both: Nice to see you.

- Last Game Night was disastrous.

But to get a hug and a hello, I'll take it.

- Kim, is Kyle coming? - I believe she is.

But I know she just got back.

I know she was, like, really missing her kids a lot.

- Oh, yeah. - When she was leaving,

the last text that she sent was "Leaving Maurice and the kids."

- Yeah. - With a little sad face.

- I'm bad at that. - I was always like that.

I think with my grandson coming,

I'm starting to get a little bit funny again.

I'm starting to worry and go back through

those first mother instincts again,

where the kids will hang up and I'll be like, ugh.

I'm starting to kinda go through that a little bit again.

And all the sudden, I'm like, ugh, like, ooh.

Right? - It's about the children

or your grandchild?

- All of them. - Everybody.

- It's just kinda coming back a little bit.

All of the sudden, I'm like, wow.

- Why are you having anxiety over your grandson's birth?

You have to be able to consideration that this

is something that could push all your buttons

and right there, as an addict, she's gonna

reach for that drink and good-bye.

- Do you feel like you're holding onto this in your mind

and it's physically taking effect?

- Oh, Eden, don't go there.

It's nice.

- No, no, no. [laughs]

What I'm saying is that a piece of what I first went through

when I first became a mother

starts to come back a little bit.

Like, all of a sudden, it's like... [gasps]

Oh. Now, like whoa. - It's a fear...

- Eden, she's saying weird things.

I think you're feeling like that.

I don't feel this way.

I'm over excited.

- She's here. - Oh!

- Where is my Mykonos partner?

I love you. - How are you?

Have you recovered? - I'm still a little, like...

- I'm patting your purse. It's not your puss.

I'm patting your purse! se!

- Patting my purse. Patting my gal.

- Pat that too. - I'm jealous.

I'm jealous they went to Mykonos.

- But I want to say that she is such a good sport

and was so cool about the whole thing.

One of my dancers, Taylor, is a really good photographer

and I conned her, bullied her. - I'm not one to parade around

in a bathing suit and high heels.

- I want to see it. I haven't seen it.

Oh! Is that it? - Well, you can see

the small version, there.

- Oh, my God. It's fabulous.

- Kyle. Gorgeous. - Oh, my God.

Look at that. That's you, next.

I would pay for that. - Yeah, how much?

- Probably not enough.

- Hi, guys. - Do you think this outfit's

a bit over the top for a house party?

[laughter]

Just feel like I'm slightly overdressed.

- Hello, - Hi, PK.

- Are you ready? - Yeah.

- All right, so you're gonna be about probably

less than ten minutes. - Cool.

- But I'll see you on the brighter side of the moon, baby.

- Hi, Camille. - So good to see you.

- Oh, great, you look beautiful. - You're fabulous.

- Thank you.

- Hello. - Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you my gorgeous wife, Dorit.

[cheers and applause]

- First of all, I am gonna keep this short and sweet.

I'm a woman of few words.

[laughter]

- Yeah, right. - Hell no.

- PK, you bring a lot of color and purpose to my life.

A life that is seemingly impossible to live

if you weren't by my side.

- All right, we're moving. We are moving.

- To the man of my life,

to the king of my dreams

and the mate of my soul,

I'm wishing you the happiest of birthdays.

- Thank you, honey. - I love you.

[cheering]

And just when you think I'm gonna stop talking,

well, hell no.

I know I told everyone earlier

that I've had some water damage.

And... [all exclaim]

- Coming up...

- She goes in her purse.

She pulls out this plastic bag filled with pills.

[all exclaiming]

- Culture Club!

- Hi, beautiful people!

- Oh, my God.

I love Boy George.

- Happy birthday, PK, obviously.

- Oh, my God, it's 1984.

- Hey, baby. How are you?

Precious. - So good to see you.

First of all, I love Boy George's music.

And I love that I am getting to see this private little concert

up close, with Boy George.

And I'm so excited that I also know him now.

[laughs] 'Cause now I'm like,

"Hey, George! [kisses] It's me!"

[cheers and applause]

- I love the 80s. I used to sing "Comma Chameleon."

You know? Is it "Karma Chameleon"?

"Karma Chameleon"? "Karma" or "Comma"?

[cheers and applause] - Thank you.

- Thank you, George. I love you.

Thank you for doing that. - Thanks, sweetheart.

Don't worry.

- Come join our party. - I might go

and get changed into something else, though.

- All right, go and slip into something more comfortable.

- Like another country. [laughter]

- That's my wine bottle. - Oh, but you enjoyed it?

- I bought it. Hook, line and sinker.

- I did too! - I was like, "Oh, okay."

Must be really bad. - Yeah.

- You're a really good liar. - You're so good.

- Just know that going into our friendship.

- It doesn't concern me yet that Dorit lied so well.

Oh, we have to watch that one.

Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.

- I'm Erika. - I know who you are.

I follow you on Twitter, darling.

- I know, God. I retweeted you the other night.

Thank you so much. - You're welcome.

Well, I use that word a lot myself, you know,

and I get into a lot of trouble,

'cause it's such an English word.

- A while back, I was criticized

about using the... word.

It says "... y."

- That word really bothers me.

I'm not gonna lie.

- Sometimes that word is so appropriate.

- Exactly.

Now one of the true icons

of music is saying, "I love the word,

and I use it all the time."

[clicks tongue]

- Hey, I was looking for you. - I know.

- My sister's dying to meet you.

- Ahh! - I hear you're adorable.

- Aww, thank you. I hear you're awesome.

- I'm a nightmare. [laughs] - Oh.

- Those are the best kind.

- Nice speech. - Oh, my God!

- That was cool. - It was like oh... yeah?

- If they're shaky, I can't help you.

- Look what you did, George.

You're a better singer than a photographer.

- I love you, ladies. - Are you out of here?

- Yeah, I'm tired. - Okay.

- Kiss me. - Oh, oh.

- Oh, almost. - Oh, I will.

- No, no, no. - Ahh!

- Kiss me! Kiss me! - No! No!

- Please do it, Eden. I dare you.

- Kiss me. - Do it.

- I thought I only ever kiss Kyle on the lips.

What do you want? You want me to kiss you or something?

- Yeah. Ahh! - Let's go.

I feel like I'm being unfaithful.

Well, why don't you want to kiss her on the mouth?

- Because you're much more enticing.

It's just a kiss. I'm not jumping ship.

Eden's a lover. You just gotta roll with it.

- How much fun was that, meeting Boy George?

- Oh, that was great. - They're holding up the wall.

- Amazing. But you know him. - I'm leaving.

- You're leaving? - Oh, bye, honey.

- I'll see you. - See you, yes.

- Bye, bye. - See you, Eden.

- Bye. Nice to see you.

- No, really good to see you again.

- She's so nice.

Oh, okay. Yeah, what's going...

I don't know anything.

- Tonight I said that I felt like becoming a grandmother

is bringing back some of those old feelings

of, like, when you first become pregnant and you start to worry,

like, you worry about your baby.

And she's, "So do you feel like this is an issue?"

Like, no.

- Maybe she felt like she was trying to

help you out in some way?

I don't know. - I didn't feel like that.

- Everywhere you go, she's there, by the way.

Did you notice that?

- Well, now I know that Eden is a drama queen.

I mean, can't you just relax and enjoy the party?

♪ ♪

- Georgie, Lisa's just given me a card, no check.

What do we think? - Do you know what?

I did a while... - "Dear PK, you ruined my life."

That's not very nice. - What? No, no.

There's a picture of Ken and I on it.

- Look at this. Oh, I love that.

- Oh, I love that you've got your own stationary.

- Yes! Exactly, right? - I love it.

I want to hear the gossip. - What gossip?

What gossip do you want? - I want to know

a little bit of gossip because... George...

So I went to Eden Sassoon's house.

She's sober. Well, she doesn't drink.

- That means she's sober. Oh, well, she just...

Wait, she takes drugs? - She's sober.

- She's sober; she doesn't drink.

- No, so I discovered was... - But she is sober.

- She's sober. So she was making smoothies.

- Okay. - And so all of the sudden,

Rinna goes, "Yeah, last time I had a smoothie...

Or in my smoothies, I just pop a Xanax."

both: She said that?

- Rinna says this. Yeah, she's like... oh...

I said, "Oh." And I was making a joke like,

"Ugh, I know who to come to when I need to relax."

- I'm sure she wants that broadcast.

[laughter]

- This was on...

- Telephone, telegram, tell Dorit.

- Exactly. [laughter]

Rinna pops a Xanax in her smoothie?

I'm not sure if this is a joke or not.

But judging by her past behavior,

I think she needs to double up on this medication

'cause clearly it's not working.

- She goes in her purse, she pulls out this plastic bag

filled with pills.

It was the funniest moment.

And I have to tell you... - Funny?

- It was very funny.

Lisa, freaking... For crying out loud,

pull the pole out of your ass.

- Pull the pole out of my ass?

So you're telling me that she's got a bag of pills

in her bag, are you? - Yes.

- That's not having a pole up my ass.

- No, but it's like mostly vitamins.

Even if there's a few goodies, it's a big deal?

- Okay, but you're intimating that it was something

naughtier than that.

If they're hard-core pills, there's a problem.

And if they're not, there isn't.

Simple as that. What the bloody hell

was in there, I haven't got a clue.

I love you, but...

I'm going home.

Okay? - You're going.

- You did a great party. - Thanks, babe.

- Next time on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

- Grab a burger, grab some corn.

- Now this is a real barbecue, Rinna!

- That's a real barbecue, baby!

- This is the part where I go right down in flames.

- So what we are going to do is put it on tape.

- And they're gonna show that to the writers.

- Yes. - Eileen!

- And then the writers are gonna have a better idea.

- I am scared to death right now.

- Oh! Everybody with wigs.

- Hi! - Oh, my God!

Both: ♪ Da, da, da, da, da ♪

- She said, "Kyle's her sister, and Kyle enables her."

- So I'm an enabler.

- We started off on the right foot.

And I'm happy about that.

But my other foot will kick you in the ass

if you come after my girl Kyle.

- To learn more about the housewives,

go to bravotv.com.