Original subtitles

- This season on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

- Ooh, ooh.

- ♪ Let's ride ♪

- Ah! Don't look down.

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- Hey, guys, look...

- Ms. "I Don't Want to Take Off My Sh...," yeah!

- This is like living on a whole nother level.

- Stunning and gorgeous. - Thank you.

- We're in Mykonos, bitches. - Oh, sh...!

- Cheers. Welcome to Hong Kong. - Cheers.

- You could have tagged him. Ask him if he has an Instagram.

- Welcome to Punta Mita, Mexico.

- Whoo!

- This is the way hanging out with girlfriends should be.

- Tonight, we should do wife-swapping.

- Breast exam. Sex.

- Erika, I will need some underwear.

- I don't have any. - Oh. Oh!

Nothing bothers your enemies so much as forgiving them.

- I never said anything about your husband.

Let's get the story straight. - Yes, you did. How dare you?

Are you kidding me? Let's talk about your arrest.

- The more you talk about sh..., the worse it gets.

- What's the big f... ing deal?

- If you f... with me, I will be a bitch.

- If you act like a total bitch,

you are shown the door really quickly.

- You're inserting yourself into something

that's not your business. - I don't like bullsh...,

Dorit, and that's what I think you are.

- Then why don't you just f... ing say it?

- I just did.

- What is your f... ing problem? Stop coming after me.

- Lisa Rinna needs to sew her f... ing lips shut.

- That was not fair, Lisa. - That's f... ed up to say that.

Stop talking. You talk too much.

- This means war. - This sh... is ugly.

- She could be struggling. - I'm having a hard time.

- You don't know what I deal with every night.

- She is close to death.

[upbeat music]

- The crown is heavy, darling.

So just leave it where it belongs.

♪ ♪

- I may be two people,

but I'm not two-faced.

♪ ♪

- My advice to you:

don't hustle the hustler.

♪ ♪

- I speak no evil

but I see and hear everything.

♪ ♪

- When you've traveled the world,

you can speak in any accent you want.

♪ ♪

- I'm an expert on luxury

and I can always spot a fake.

♪ ♪

- Can you move?

Excuse me.

You guys are all over the place.

Why are you so needy today?

Hello.

- Are you lying on your lazy ass?

- I have been laying on my lazy ass.

You would be horrified, because I'm wearing Birkenstocks,

but they're cute. They're rose gold.

Do they allow Birkenstocks in Pump?

- No. - [laughing]

Who's gonna be there?

- My friend Dorit and her husband, PK.

I don't think you know them.

- Oh. I don't know them, but I know of them,

because Boy George told me about them.

He loves them. He spoke so highly of them.

I've always been the biggest fan of Boy George.

When we did "Celebrity Apprentice,"

we hit it off right away.

He was always talking about his friends Dorit and PK

and how much I would love them.

Ends up that they were also friends with Lisa and Ken.

So everybody knows everybody in Beverly Hills.

Okay, darling, I will see you tonight at Pump...

in my Birkenstocks.

- No.

♪ ♪

- Hey there. What's going on?

- Oh, the usual, you know. Nothing much.

- Oh, working? - It takes so much time, yeah.

- Okay, what is your schedule like today?

- Pretty good. Got to run to the court.

- Tom has an incredibly busy professional life.

My life, professionally, is growing.

- Your song is up. - 14 last week

and 8 this week. - And 8 this week, yeah.

- Yeah, so it's good.

We're doing good.

In the last year, Erika Jayne has grown exponentially.

♪ I feel like I'm a star ♪

♪ On the rise ♪

- Everyone pushes spots. Music fades out.

- ♪ Like a painkiller ♪

- I wanted to give you your birthday present.

- Right now? - Yeah.

- It's not a problem that I'm busier.

You just have to max out those times that you have together.

I'm gonna... - This birthday is

quite a celebration. - It's my birthday,

and I can do whatever I want. - Just like every other day.

You do whatever you want. - Well, yeah.

Yeah, but... but I'm gonna do it even extra this day.

I'm turning 45, so I decided I would have, like,

you know, a big blowout. This is kind of it.

You're definitely in your mid-40s at 45.

It's all going downhill.

[laughing]

Fast.

- You have a lot of things to put on your ears,

and you have a lot of things to put on your fingers.

- Yes. - So I decided

to give you something

to put on your eyes.

- My eyes?

- Yes. - What does that mean?

- Here's a painting by Marc Chagall.

- [chuckles]

Chagall is one of Tom's favorite painters.

Is this it?

And his paintings can go for over a million dollars, easily.

Oh, wow. Tom, that's beautiful.

This is gonna be pretty. Where do you want to hang it?

- It's yours. Wherever you want to hang it.

- It's mine or it's ours?

I'm wondering, like, is this really a present for him

that he's kind of sold me on or what,

but, you know, I'm down.

- Now, then, just to be on the safe side,

'cause I couldn't really tell

if you were gonna like this or not, here's another present.

- Is this a legal doc?

You gave me a legal doc for my birthday?

You took the hint.

[laughing]

That's amazing.

- Is that great? - It's wonderful.

Oh, I've wanted this ring for a while.

Let me tell you.

Like, I hunted down the last one.

- What is it, Cartier? - Like a...

- Okay, yeah. - Cartier's beautiful.

- Thank you. - What did you do to get it?

- I did what every woman does to get it.

I'm good.

There's a third panther.

He's made of black jasper.

- It's on order at Cartier. It'll be here in two weeks.

- Really? - Yeah.

- I'm hunting him down too.

- Happy birthday. - Thank you, baby.

Wait. [laughs]

I think I cleaned up.

♪ ♪

- Hi. Bon appétit.

Do you want to sit next to me, darling?

- Of course. Another seat for Giggy, then?

- Oh, the little doggies can sit up with their paws on the table.

You naughty little boy, sit down.

Look, all his fur's nearly come back. Look at it.

- It's amazing. - Giggy, what do you think

of your best friend?

[dog groans]

So I have to introduce you to Harrison.

He went from the pound to the baths.

He spent 14 hours a day in a cage,

and then he came home to me,

and we began our passionate affair,

didn't we, Harrison?

Thank you.

Cheers, darling.

- What time are the others getting in? Cheers.

- They'll be here in a minute.

♪ ♪

- Hi, guys. - How are you?

- Hello, gorgeous. - Hi, people.

- Are you gonna behave yourself tonight?

- Never. - Oh, thank God for that.

Thank God for that. - Why wouldn't I?

I always... I always behave myself.

- I've never seen that yet.

- And did you have a good day? - I did.

I've been at Villa Blanca all day.

How are you, my dear? - I'm good, honey.

I went out this afternoon and chose

what I was gonna wear for Dorit's birthday.

- What are you gonna wear? - I took David Thomas,

George's stylist with me. I'm wearing black.

- Why do you need a stylist? - He doesn't need a stylist.

He has one at his fingertips.

- I can't... I can't do anything on my own like that.

- Ken and I have known PK for quite a few years,

when he was actually married to somebody else,

and then he married the wonderful Dorit.

I love her.

I don't want to say she's an upgrade.

That would be bitchy, but I kind of just did.

- I love the way Ken looks tonight.

- I was going to, actually, but I went for black.

I was gonna wear white. - Why? You want to be the star.

- Stop hitting on my husband. - I love my husband.

I'm never interested in anyone, let alone someone else's...

- Really? - Never, ever, ever...

- Never? - Lisa, bring me

the most stunning man. - Okay.

Both: Bring me the most stunning man.

- I promise you, I'll be like...

- The one thing I really love about PK and Dorit

is also the relationship.

They just absolutely love each other so madly.

- Women like a little bit of teasing.

- Oh. - Baby.

- Mind you, they've only been together

a few years, so we'll see.

- Lisa, it's no problem for you to do that, but understand,

I will be bringing hot chicks for Kenny, then, if...

- Oh, shut up. - You're going down that avenue.

[laughter]

- How are you?

- I'm good. How are you?

♪ ♪

- Do you see them anywhere? Oh, here they are.

- Hello. - Hi.

- Very nice to meet you. - This is Dorit.

- So beautiful. - Oh, thank you.

So are you. Hi. How are you?

- Hi. Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

I've heard so much about you from Boy George.

- And us you... and us you. - I was just gonna say...

- Yeah.

- My husband is a talent manager,

and he manages Boy George.

No. - The house looks amazing.

- Doesn't it? I love all the flowers.

He does a great job.

[laughing]

Boy George, for the better part of the last two years,

has lived with us.

George is like family.

He's like a sister... Maybe not so much.

He's more like a husband,

but, like, a really, really, really fun, gay husband.

- When I was a teenager, I used to try to dress like him,

and people used to say we looked alike.

- Oh.

- I used to copy his makeup,

and we would kind of look alike.

There was the Madonna wannabes.

I was the Boy George wannabe.

- How long have you guys been together?

- We just got married a year ago March.

We've been together for nearly five years.

- Wow. - PK and I met very randomly

in a bar in New York City.

- And where are you from? Are you Israeli?

- My father's Israeli. My name is obviously...

- Dorit, yeah.

[both speaking Hebrew]

- Dorit.

- I wasn't raised speaking Hebrew,

but I love languages.

- Yeah. - So I wanted to learn Hebrew.

I wanted to learn Spanish. I wanted to learn...

- Don't you hear an English accent, though?

- She probably picks up a little bit of your accent, and just...

- I mean, so many times, I pick up Lisa's accent.

Definitely, there's an accent.

I think it's a little like a Madonna situation

when she was married to Guy Ritchie.

- No English people think I sound even remotely English.

- No, but maybe Americans... - They're like, "Oh, no,

she sounds really American."

- No, not at all. - But you know, I think... I...

- Do you hear it?

People do tell... PK, people do tell me I have...

But I don't understand.

- I don't even think it's entirely being married to PK.

To make a very long story short,

I worked for a swimwear company in Italy.

So I moved back to Manhattan,

and I launched my own swimwear brand.

- What was it called?

- Dorit, my namesake.

Like, my... we were so creative.

- Really thinking outside of the box.

- I kind of do it all. I'm a businesswoman.

I'm a mother. I'm a wife.

Basically.

- Do you know it's Erika's birthday party?

- I'm invited. - Dorit was having lunch

with me, and then Erika called me.

- I'm turning 45.

I'd love to have you there.

- Well, I'm sitting here with my friend Dorit

right now, having lunch.

I could bring her. Do you want to go?

- Bring anyone you want.

- But I'm really liking her. - Excuse me. We love a party.

We're riding together. Do you want to ride with us?

- Do you want to... - Oh, no.

- I just stole your friend. - Don't worry.

I've got Faye Resnick. It's fine.

You two go together.

[laughter]

- Please, can you just ask them for a little bit more water?

- Yeah, of course, darling. - How did you guys meet?

- I've known Lisa a lot longer than...

- That's true. - Than Dorit's known her.

- Yeah. - That is true.

We actually met at a friend's wedding

in Turks and Caicos.

We were put in the same house.

- She was your roommate? - Yeah, we shared a house.

- We shared a house. It was the four of us.

- Oh. Who got the better bedroom?

- They did, 'cause they got there early.

- Whoever gets there first gets the better room.

We had the best room in Dubai, though, you have to admit.

- Did you like Dubai, by the way?

- Coming up...

- Lisa Rinna and Lisa Vanderpump,

I'm sure they're gonna be okay eventually.

Don't you think?

[upbeat music]

- We had the best room in Dubai, though, you have to admit.

- Dubai wasn't a pleasant experience.

- Such a great trip, wasn't it?

- Did you like Dubai, by the way?

- We loved it.

- Not the trip, but did you like it?

- [laughing] - You're evil.

Look at you, laughing your socks off.

- No. Okay, but don't talk about the negative part.

- Where was the positive part?

- Laughing and peeing our pants. That was fun.

- Oh, you mean laughing, peeing your pants,

when I went back to the room crying.

Is that what you mean?

- She was a little tortured now and then,

but we had fun and laughing.

- I felt like I was there every night,

and all I got was an hour's phone call,

tears and crying and everything.

- No. We were having fun before all that.

- I had a really miserable time in Dubai.

Rinna kept going on at me,

saying I told her to say something

about Yolanda's health, which wasn't true.

- When I mentioned the Munchausen,

you came out after, and you asked me

why I didn't bring Kyle up.

- I didn't.

I said I thought you were gonna bring all of us into it.

- We've all talked about it, though.

- But we've never said Munchausen's.

- I think the whole thing with Yolanda

sort of tainted our friendship.

It was almost, like, divided up into three groups.

It was very strange.

- Rinna was just unusually aggressive,

and Eileen was kind of backing her up.

- You can't apologize.

Just learn to say you're sorry.

- I don't like the idea

of women treating women terribly and bullying.

- Eileen also kept going on at me

about mentioning the word "affair,"

which she had had,

and it was just a bloody nightmare.

- Can I have a dog?

Oh, you, you, you.

I know Lisa so well,

and she does hold onto things for a long time.

- Can you twist his ruff round?

- Oh, please. I didn't even know that existed.

I don't think she's losing any sleep

over Lisa Rinna and Eileen.

I mean, is she sitting there with a voodoo doll?

Maybe.

- Come on, then. - Go to Mama.

- That is sexy, boy.

♪ ♪

[horn honking]

♪ ♪

- I got you the new one.

- [exclaims]

You did not.

- This is the absolute latest model.

I give you... - Harry!

Harry Hamlin, it's like, for the last time...

And you brought it up with a bow.

It's all about having a good time now in my life,

and I feel like last year

was really negative on so many levels.

[both chuckling]

- And I just want joy.

My father passed away January 21st,

and we knew it was coming.

- I haven't been well. - I know.

I want you to feel better, Dad.

- I would like to feel better. - Nobody likes to not feel good.

- You always said you wanted it, like, blacked out and stuff.

So check it out.

- Oh, my God. I can... I mean, I just can't even.

When my dad died, it just changed my outlook

on every single thing that goes on in my life.

I don't have time to worry

about what happened last year with Vanderpump.

I'm like, "Are you kidding me?

I've got two teenage daughters I'm raising."

I like your earrings.

- I got bullied for the other one.

- I didn't like it. It was really long, like...

- Okay.

- When did you get a cartilage piercing?

- Literally two years ago.

- I should get a free pass right now

for just about everything.

I do a darn good job with having to have the life

that I have and do what I do

and keep calm raising two teenage girls.

Is it really fast? - It's unbelievable fast.

- Like, that's why I don't have time

for a whole lot of bullsh... Right now.

- All right, baby, here we go.

- Oh, I love it.

♪ ♪

- We're with that really awesome-looking blonde lady

over there.

Hi, gorgeous.

- Hey. - Nice to see you.

- You look good. - Thank you. So you do.

- Happy birthday, belated. - Oh, thank you.

You have one coming up, don't you? Wow.

- The big 45.

- Erika is a hoot.

She has this whole thing, this persona

that's bigger than life, Erika Jayne.

- Excuse me. You're like a baby to me.

- Come on, stop.

- But, basically, she's just

really a girl's girl.

She's got a lot of gays around her, gay guys,

but she's really a girl's girl.

Except for, like, the aging thing,

which sucks, I love getting older.

And my mom... She was actually saying

that she felt the same as she did

when she was 21 inside.

- I know, but what no one knew was that you lost your mom

over the reunion. - I know.

- You look gorgeous, Eileen. - Thank you. So do you.

- How do you... How do you feel now?

- I really feel okay.

It... I don't know if that's bad.

- I'm there for you if you need me.

- Thank you, honey.

I didn't want anybody to know

'cause I didn't want it to color anything.

- I understand, but the fact that you sat there

and were so clear and so in control,

that's a real testament to you and your will.

I mean, that's incredible. - Yeah.

- I don't know that I could have done that, Eileen.

- Well, I didn't know I could, either.

Losing my mother's taught me

that certain things in life just don't really matter.

They're not that important,

and I suppose in that way

it's affected how I feel about Lisa Vanderpump

and everything that happened, because it's trivial.

Look at you, hot mama. - [exclaims]

- Oh, how are you? - Yes, ma'am.

- Pretty good.

- You look incredible.

- I'm sorry I'm late. I had a 911 situation.

- What happened? - Oh, no, what happened?

- I forgot lip gloss.

[laughs]

- I thought you really meant it.

We were talking about something really serious. I'm like...

- We were talking about families.

- We were just talking about moving through grief,

and maybe I need to see somebody.

You know what I started doing?

I started doing that Cryohealth. It was such a rush.

- I can't get into freezing my ass off like that.

Oh, my God. I can't take it. - Give me the robe.

- I'm gonna do round two. If you're up for it,

you can come, or I'll see you back at lunch.

- No, no, no. I'll meet you for lunch.

- We'll meet you at lunch.

- I really liked it. - Have you seen Yolanda?

- I saw Yolanda a few weeks ago.

- I texted with Yolanda, but I haven't seen her.

- I talked to Yolanda this morning.

- How's she doing? - She says she's 75% better.

- I'm so happy to hear that. - She was in Tahiti.

But she sounds good.

Yolanda's doing good, but she's taking some time

to rest and recover

and really just focus on herself,

which is what she needs.

- Can I get one more glass of wine?

- Yes. - Thank you.

- What's going on with you ladies?

- Working, negotiating my contract to "The Y and R."

- You look gorgeous.

- What's up with your show at TV Land?

- We start filming in August. - How'd your casting go?

- We're knee-deep in casting right now.

A few years ago,

I was having lunch with some friends

that were producers of "Shameless,"

and I was telling stories from my childhood, and they said,

"Hey, let's make that into a TV show."

- Please tell me you're excited about it. Please tell me.

- I am very excited. It's very surreal.

Like, you know, my friend said to me,

"Oh, my daughter's up for the part of you"...

- I love that. - And she sends me a picture of,

like, "Produced by," you know,

"Dawn Wells, Kyle Richards," and I was like...

My husband will say, "Can you believe...

This is so exciting. I'm so proud of you,"

and I think, "Yeah, this is so exciting.

Wait, is this really happening?"

- So exciting. - You're gonna love it.

- It's incredible. - Thank you.

- Thank you. Enjoy. - Thank you so much.

Oh, my God. Kyle, I'm wearing the pants from your store.

- I need to go shopping at your store, by the way.

- I love them. - They do.

Well, I was just thinking Lisa, 'cause her restaurant's

right there. - Yes.

- Are you okay with Lisa Vanderpump?

- Yeah, of course. I don't care.

- Even with, like, Lisa Rinna and Lisa Vanderpump,

I'm sure they're gonna be okay eventually, don't you think?

To me, I'm like, "Oh, they'll be fine."

Even though Vanderpump is probably more angry at Rinna,

I think she's going to be more likely to forgive her sooner,

because Rinna's a little easier to manipulate.

- Anything can be worked out if everybody wants to work it out.

- Well, that's an operative word, "everybody."

This is a very slippery slope, because...

- I'm having déjà vu.

Here are some words that I don't care

if I don't ever hear again: bipolar...

- She could have put it out there that you were bipolar.

- Manipulative...

- She talked about, you know, you being manipulative.

- Munchausen's...

- True Munchausen syndrome...

- Sniper...

- I think she's a sniper from the side.

- Own it...

- Own it, Lisa. F... ing own it.

- I know what she's about.

I know who she is. That's not gonna change.

Whatever. I'm fine with that.

- You would always be civil and...

- Absolutely. - I know that.

I know that about you. - Absolutely.

- Right.

- Very plain and simple.

- Coming up...

- What a dump.

- Is that my beloved?

Boy George... He's a big part of the family.

I mean, he lives here, for crying out loud.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I like lots of eyelashes. - Oh, yeah.

- Tiff?

- Hi, sweetie.

- We've got so much to go through.

- Okay, we've got to talk about schedule for Europe.

Through Milan, are we going Paris or London?

- We'll go from New York to Milan and from Milan to London.

- New York to Milan... okay.

- PK and I moved to Beverly Hills

about two years ago.

We're gonna skip Andrea Bocelli in Milan.

We are constantly surrounded by celebrities

all the time, given what we do for work,

and Beverly Hills

was a better place for us to live.

The weather doesn't hurt.

I really want, like, a large block of time

to be able to be with the kids.

Little Jagger's quite jealous when he sees me with Phoenix.

He's just kind of like, "No, that's my mommy."

I have two little munchkins.

Who's the prince of the castle?

My Jagger, who is a little over two years old...

Who's number one?

I love you, beautiful girl.

And little Phoenix,

who's 4 1/2 months.

Can you believe she gained 2 1/2 pounds in a month?

Currently, my staff include Peggy,

who's baby nurse,

Neila, Jagger's main nanny,

and then I've got a few nannies

for Jagger and Phoenix to fill in,

three full-time housekeepers,

and Tiffany, who's my husband's assistant.

- God, there's so much to go through.

- For those who will criticize me having a big staff,

I'm not exactly lounging in bed eating bonbons.

- What a dump.

- Is that my beloved?

- Oh, my God. - Georgie!

- Oh, here she is.

- Boy George, he's a big part of the family.

I mean, he lives here, for crying out loud.

Am I okay to represent you in "Jimmy Kimmel" tonight?

- Yeah, you look great. - Yeah?

He's my daughter's godfather.

[exclaiming] - I know.

He's wearing our necklace.

- He's Uncle George.

He's not really Boy George in this house.

- You know, I've just come off the road with an American band.

They wanted to play me a song.

It started, and it was like a car crash, and I stopped it.

- Don't get me wrong. He has his moments.

Diva does come out,

and no one does it better than Boy George.

- The people that did meet-and-greets,

they paid, like, $500 every night.

- And what do you do in a meet-and-greet?

- George is just basically turned into Mickey Mouse.

People stand in line. - I'm like the pope.

- He's silly. He's fun.

He's in our bedroom

watching "Game of Thrones" with my husband and I.

- I'm so excited for you. It's "Jimmy Kimmel Live!"

Welcome home, babe.

♪ ♪

- Line those lips. Line those lips.

DSLs. What color lip?

- Metallic New.

- I love a '70s frost. Disco glamour.

- Decided I would have a Studio 54 party for my birthday.

Studio 54 was a fabulous time. It was fun.

This is when people were really being free

and cocaine wasn't addictive and... allegedly.

You need to get up here so we can get you dressed.

- Got it. - I got your, like,

outfit all laid out and ready.

♪ ♪

This is rad. - Amazing, right?

We're gonna have a lot of boozy... so get ready.

- A lot of boozy Suzies.

I would appreciate it if you poured heavy.

When it comes to the budget, I'm just telling them, you know,

"I want this. I want this.

I need this," and whatever it comes out to,

you know, hey, I'm only 45 once.

- Cheers to the birthday girl. - Thank you.

- Well, let's have fun tonight. - Yeah, we will for sure.

- Okay.

- Whatever. Who cares?

It's my f... ing party, I'ma do whatever I want.

- Okay, so you're gonna be at the front gate.

- Okay. - "Name, please."

And then velvet rope...

- Boom. - Yeah.

- And then they'll get a glass of champagne.

- Miss Thing, there is no guest list today.

- There you go. There's nothing else to do.

Oh, my God. Pussy Control... she's fabulous.

The late artist Prince actually gave her the name Pussy Control,

and they did a whole thing together,

and that's the song "Pussy Control."

That's Sharon.

- Look. Okay, light-up floor, obvi.

For sure. - Nice touch.

♪ ♪

- I... that's a little bit of boob.

- I know. Can you imagine if I said there's a lot of boob?

I'd basically be wearing pasties.

- When I look back at the '80s, it was very important to me,

because it was the end of my single days.

He's gonna shag you before you get up the stairs.

- Why would you think I haven't already shagged her, Lisa?

- Is that why you're late?

I remember I did the "Poison Arrow" video.

It was big hair. It was big shoulder pads.

It was kind of big everything.

I did that video

the night before I started dating my husband.

Six weeks later, we were engaged.

Cheers. - Cheers.

♪ ♪

- [laughing]

I went to Studio 54. - You look fantastic.

- Thank you. So do you. - I love the hair.

- Iman was there, and she was married to a basketball player.

That's all I remember. Iman was there.

- This is actually mine from the early '80s,

which I haven't worn since then. - I have...

Okay, I have a black one like this.

- Shut up. You do?

I was heavily into disco.

You know, spandex pants.

I did a modeling job in roller skates.

I had the side ponytail.

[cork pops] - Oh!

- I should bring my roller skates with me,

so if I don't like seeing Lisa Vanderpump,

I can just skate away.

How's Delilah? Is she modeling still?

- She's in New York right now.

She just shot "Teen Vogue" today.

- Wow.

- The modeling for Delilah came about very organically.

She started to take pictures.

She started to really like it and have fun doing it.

Elite saw her on Instagram, and they signed her on the spot.

- She must be so excited.

- I have always said,

"Please, whatever you do,

do what makes you happy."

- Did they send her out to New York, then?

- Yeah, they're sending her on castings, and she's doing stuff.

- Good. - It's exciting.

♪ ♪

- Oh, they're here.

- Oh, I love what you're wearing.

- Sit down.

- Look at these shoes.

- I know. - I have them.

I almost wore them under here,

but I wore these instead. I thought you...

- Oh, they're pretty.

- I used to go to Studio 54

with my mom and my sister.

The first time they dragged me... This is the craziest story.

- You must be 12. - I was 10.

My sister Kat used to take me with Andy Warhol.

- Wow.

- He used to carry a Pentax camera,

and he would just be talking, and then he would, like,

take a picture of you like that

when you didn't even know, and he'd go, "Mm-hmm,"

and he would just snap as he was talking to people.

- You definitely had a recluse type of mother.

- She was, like, obsessed with us.

We were her whole life.

She didn't believe in rules.

She did what she wanted to do, so...

There I was, hanging out with Andy Warhol and Rick James

and everybody having a good old time...

Just another Saturday night when you're ten years old.

- Shall we go? - Let's go.

- Are you ready?

♪ ♪

- Are you on the list?

♪ ♪

[indistinct conversation]

♪ ♪

- ♪ You made me believe I was so far away ♪

♪ Pushing me deeper ♪

The girls look so good.

♪ Striking me down ♪

♪ Like a painkiller ♪

Yes, ladies.

You're an early bird to the party.

Where's your cocktail?

Thank you.

♪ I surrender myself ♪

♪ I'll never be free ♪

Good, right? - No kidding.

- It's great. It's great.

- Hi, gorgeous.

- Thank you for coming.

♪ Like a painkiller ♪

♪ ♪

- Thank you.

Oh, my God. Hello.

- Ladies, are you on the list? - I don't know. I hope so.

- I believe you are. - [exclaims]

- Champagne? - Yes.

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God, baby, my twin! - How are you?

- Be careful. I've got makeup on my body.

- Oh, sorry. - Hi, darling.

- So nice to meet you. - You guys came!

Thank you for coming. - We're so excited to see you.

- Do you have a drink? Let's have some fun.

- Oh, yeah. - Okay.

- Whoo!

- Eileen, oh, my God, I love it.

- Happy birthday! - Yes.

- My baby girl.

I love your disco balls.

- I love big balls. - I mean, here's to big balls.

- I know you got 'em.

[laughter]

- Coming up...

- We went for it tonight, you know?

- You always go for it.

- Oh, good. Game on.

[Erika Jayne's "How Many?" playing]

♪ ♪

- I love that you can play your own music

at your own party. - I know, right?

- Don't you love this song?

- Yes. - You hit the jackpot.

- I did more than she did. - All right.

- It's a special little something.

I want you to open it.

- What?

Are you serious? - Yeah!

Do you want to be on my show?

- F..., yeah, I want to be on your show!

Are you serious?

- Awesome. - Oh, my God!

Who the f... Gets this kind of gift?

That is so cool.

Okay, you're gonna help me out, though.

Like, I don't know what the f... I'm doing.

- I will totally... We're gonna rehearse.

- You're gonna coach me all the way through it?

- This is the coolest present ever.

- You get to say what kind of part you want.

If you want a day, if you want a couple days...

- What kind of role would I like on "Young and the Restless"?

I just don't want to f... up.

- I suggested a nun at one point,

which I thought would be kind of funny.

- It's always fun to play the bad girl.

- Maybe a high-powered attorney...

- There's nothing better than a bitch and, like,

a really good catfight.

- I just don't want to get over there and, like,

you know... you know, like, ugh.

- That's what I'd like to see.

- "What... who hired this bitch?"

- But definitely it's got to be in a scene with me.

- What if they fire Eileen 'cause I suck?

- I have to work with her.

- Like a Krystle and Alexis fight on "Dynasty"

between Eileen and Erika... There we go.

Let's write that.

You'll be a natural.

- I remember you told me that your grandma

watched soaps, right? - Well, that's kind of, like,

where my name comes from, my mother and... yeah.

- I know. both: Erica Kane.

- My mom was pregnant with me when "All My Children" came on.

You know, Erica Kane was, like, the diva, and there you go.

- Now that really makes sense. - Yeah.

- Of course.

- Look at this amazing little outfit.

- Welcome. You are on the list? - We hope so.

- Let me check. - You're wearing my outfit.

That's what I was gonna wear.

♪ ♪

- Hey. - How are you?

- I'm good. Thank you for coming.

- Remember, I was having... - Yes, yes.

- Lunch the other day with my friend Dorit?

My very good friend, Dorit.

- How are you? - Nice to meet you.

- And this is PK. - Hey.

- Hi. How are you doing? - Thank you for having us.

- Nice to meet you, darling.

- Where's your Studio 54 outfit?

- Look at you, man.

- Have you got something Studio 54 underneath?

- I hope so.

- So how are you doing?

How are you feeling about tonight?

- You know, I feel really good about tonight.

- I'm okay too. - It's okay to be okay.

- Yeah, and I think it's more of, like,

how they're gonna take you.

- That's not our problem.

How she reacts, it's her thing.

Can't control anybody else's choice.

I can't control Vanderpump's choice.

I can't control Eileen's choice.

All I can do is do what I want.

I'd rather be better than bitter.

That's my new motto.

I'd rather be better than bitter.

- Exciting.

- Oh, my God!

I'm almost your doppelganger, but...

- My hair's light now.

- How long have you lived in Beverly Hills?

- Two years. I'm a New Yorker.

- She's from New York. I'm from London.

- Well, I grew up in Connecticut,

but I didn't stay there very long.

I lived in Europe for a long time.

Then I moved back to New York.

I definitely consider myself a New Yorker above anything.

I had a lot of reservations about moving to Beverly Hills.

A little bit too much carrot juice

and a little bit too much Botox...

- It's Dorit's birthday today. - The big one.

- What's a big one? - 40.

- I'm 45. There you go.

- It did not feel like I was gonna mesh well,

but I do like meeting new people.

I've settled perfectly, obviously.

[laughing]

Well, you invited me to your party,

and I'm having my birthday party on Saturday.

- So you've got to come to that. - Of course. I would love to.

- Yeah? Oh, I love it. - What's going?

- Have you said hi to...

- Hi. - Have you said...

- Well, hello, Lisa Vanderpump.

- Hello, Lisa Rinna.

This is my friend, Dorit. - Hi. I'm Dorit.

- Nice to meet you. - So nice to meet you, as well.

- How are you? - Good, thank you. How are you?

- Good. - I like your...

- I... we went for it tonight.

- Oh, you always go for it.

[dramatic music]

- Are you well? - I'm well.

- The kids are well? - Yeah.

Everything's going on.

It kind of puts things in perspective.

- Oh, my...

Well, that wig didn't get pulled from the back, did it?

'Cause I might give it a tug later.

I think it would be well deserved.

- Oh, good. Game on.

We can start taking the piss out of each other again.

Yay.

That's what we do best.

But anyway... - No.

- Nice to meet you... - Yes.

- And don't listen to her too much.

- You know, you meet new people, and you form an opinion,

and, you know what, Lisa, I'm a big girl with my own mind.

- Yes, of course. - But I might give her

a hint occasionally. - All right.

We all know what happened. You can't change that,

but you can change how you react to it.

Nice to meet you, and nice to see you.

- Exactly.

Lisa Rinna and I,

we used to have a lot of fun together,

but she changed that dynamic.

She made that decision.

So we'd have to do a lot of work to get back to where we were.

- All right. - Hello, Eileen.

- I'll wait up. - Hi, Lisa. How are you?

- Is everybody... - All these new children.

- Oh, fun.

[overlapping chatter]

- I am struggling

with the situation with Lisa Vanderpump.

I am.

- Don't let her take my wig off.

She's gonna try to pull my wig off.

So if she pulls my wig off, tell me.

- Things change. People change.

Lisa Vanderpump and I could actually have a meeting

of the minds at some point. You never know.

I mean, look what happened after the Vietnam War.

Everybody's going to Vietnam on vacation now.

- Oh, I feel so important, going in this little area like this.

- Come in here. - Oh, thank you.

I love that. I love your place.

- This outfit, by the way, is super.

- Thank you.

- Does she look like the part or what?

- I mean, like, Bianca Jagger's coming in on her white horse.

I was thinking you were gonna come in on a white horse.

- You know what? I thought about it for a hot second...

- Did you? - And then I thought,

"Don't fall off."

- You're so funny. - I said to Lisa,

you can get one of your little miniature ponies.

- I should've borrowed... - Can I borrow one?

- Yeah, there you go.

- I said hello to Eileen, but she was very cold.

I don't know why. - Really?

- Yeah. I said, "Hello," and clinked a glass,

but... but anyway, it doesn't matter.

Let's not just get caught up in a bitchfest.

- Coming up...

- Erika? - Yes?

- I have a birthday present for you.

- All right.

[gasps] My God!

[upbeat music]

- Do you want a drink?

- Yeah, we do, but we asked the bartender, and he told us...

- Honey, I can get myself a drink.

- Look at Ken.

Ken has a whole wardrobe of clothes for tonight.

My husband's like, "I... this is all I've got."

Meanwhile, Ken comes out. I'm like,

"Where'd you get that?" He's like, "My closet."

[laughter]

Let's go mosey around.

♪ ♪

- I'm starving. Where's the dinner?

Go up into the kitchen, get the cake, and bring it out here.

- Fine, I'll get the cake. - Shaking your asses, singing...

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God.

- Whoo! Arms up... - Ahh!

- Is Kevin Mylrea dancing with Lisa Rinna on a box?

- Happy birthday, lovely. - Thank you so much.

- Ha! - Oh, my God.

You are strong.

- He went to go look at a plane yesterday.

- Oh, really? - Yeah.

- Wow. What kind?

- A G4 SB... beautiful plane.

- It's a lot nicer to go to the G4.

If you're a little late, the plane's waiting.

- Yeah. - If you're a little early,

okay, let's go. - Let's get out of here.

- And there's no pat-downs or anything like that.

- Why... - Unless you were flying.

- Oh, yeah. Yeah.

- There we go.

The birthday girl...

- Oh, my God.

Are we loving her with this wig?

- So fun, right?

- I love it. Where's your cocktail?

- I need one. - Come on.

- Let's get one. - You have a cocktail.

- I know. I'm the only one that doesn't.

I'm getting a cocktail.

- Okay. Good for you.

- I'm gonna cut in line for... Just for a second.

- Absolutely. - What do you want, madame?

- A little Veuve. - You know what?

I'll have a little bit as well.

How did it go with Lisa?

- Fine. - Okay, good.

- I'm sure that there's things to talk about,

but life's too short. - Well, here's to you.

- Thank you, baby. Here's to you. Happy birthday.

- Thank you for coming.

- I wouldn't miss it for the world. I wouldn't.

- I want you to get up there and do that right now. Look.

- I'll do that. - Just do it right now.

- Ken and PK are virtually salivating,

and Mauricio's there, as well.

- Look at Mauricio. What the hell?

- I could do that too. Whatever.

- Where is Mauricio? What the hell?

- He's salivating. - Why are they all over there?

- Notice how they've positioned themselves

perfectly in the party here.

- I mean, like, with your tongues hanging out...

- I was gonna say, you've kind of...

You've kind of positioned yourselves perfectly.

- Honey, you know me. You know me.

- Do you want to get up and dance?

- No. I'm actually hungry.

- I'm starving.

- Are those jeweled panties?

- I have to have some type of moment that's exciting.

- Oh, I love it. - So I just threw it under.

- Yeah. - Where are you from, Erika?

- I grew up in Atlanta. Yeah. - I'm going next week.

- Yeah? Oh, what are you doing there?

- George is performing.

- He loves you, by the way. - Thank you.

- Oh, wow. - No. We're gonna do something.

We're gonna do something. - Wow. Okay.

That just threw me for a loop. Okay.

- Wow. I was... it threw me for a loop.

- To hear that Boy George, like,

even knows who I am... Let's get serious, right?

Like, this is an icon... Knows who the f... I am

is kind of a big deal.

- You have the life, Tom. - It is nice.

- Yes, it is.

- Erika? - Yes?

- I have a birthday present for you.

- [gasps] My God!

My mother... oh, my... Mom! Mommy.

- Hey.

- I'm shocked my mom is here.

That's my mom! Like, that's cool.

Thanks, Mom, for coming out.

- You've been hiding in the bedroom?

- All day. - I'm so excited you're here.

Can I introduce you to everyone? - Sure.

- My mom and I are probably the closest now

that we've ever been.

You guys, you guys, you have to meet my mom.

- This is your mom? - She surprised me here.

- Hi. - Nice to meet you.

- She was 18 years old when I was born

and raised me kind of as a single mom.

- Cheers. She's adorable. - Kyle, this is my mom, Renee.

- She's sweet. - You're lying.

- No, this is my mother. - No wonder you're so gorgeous.

- Thank you. - Well, I'm a little shorter.

- It's okay.

My mother and father were married,

and he left when I was about nine months old.

My mom was a young mom, full of life.

She's creative.

She's a real inspiration.

She's a super cool chick.

- Yeah, she is. Look at her. - I can tell.

- Look at her outfit. - She's a good time.

- Really?

- I just adore her more every day.

- Look at... this is my mother.

- Mom... Renee... - This is my mother.

This is Clyde.

- Are you kidding me? - Thank you.

- Isn't she gorgeous?

You know, my mother, my grandmother,

myself, we are all artists.

You know, they were always at the shows.

They were at recitals, celebrating the artist within.

This is so cool. Is my makeup falling off?

- No. You look great. I love your dress.

- Jose, Castillo, come meet my mom.

My grandmother's very close to my mom,

and I spent my summers

with my grandmother's house in the country.

I don't think I wore clothes till I was three,

'cause I just, like, ran around in my underwear.

So not much changed.

[laughs]

You have to meet everyone.

- Okay. - You're going to the kitchen?

Why? What's in the kitchen?

- Food. - Is the food not out here?

Are they not passing hors d'oeuvres?

- They walked around plenty with the food.

They just missed it. - They did?

I'm kind of shocked that the food isn't out here.

When it comes to the food for this party,

I mean, I don't really think anybody cares.

- The party's great for my diet.

- I think we've got to wait for a cake.

- Hi, Dorit. - How you doing, Eileen?

- Having fun? - We are.

We've been trying to get a drink...

Very unsuccessfully, though.

- Oh, no. - What would you like, baby?

- I want a beer.

- [sighs]

Lisa Vanderpump is not welcoming me with open arms.

More like a cold shoulder.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- Oh, thank you, Eileen. - Is that ours?

- Cheers. - Cheers. Happy birthday.

- Thank you, thank you, thank you.

- Good.

- I've popped already in all kinds of places,

and I feel like 30 more seconds,

it could genuinely come out.

- Oh, no. I know, right?

- I don't normally wear my hair this way.

- Well, neither do I. - [laughs]

- It seems like maybe Lisa Vanderpump

doesn't like me talking to her friend.

I don't know.

- You know what? I'm having my birthday party

on Saturday night. - Really?

- I'd love for you and your husband to come.

I'd like to see you there. - Thank you so much.

That's very sweet of you. - Yeah.

Eileen seems very nice,

and I'm thinking, in the back of my head,

"I know that Vanderpump has had issues with her in the past,

"and I'm finding it very hard to think

"how this could be the same woman

that's actually done this to her."

She seems nothing but sweet and nice.

I look forward to it. - Nice to talk to you.

- Good to talk to you as well.

- Coming up...

♪ ♪

- ♪ Painkiller ♪

- This time, join 'em. Go.

- I'm coming back stronger than ever.

[upbeat music]

- Why didn't you get dressed like that?

- Because I don't have tits like that.

- I want to see you in one of these dresses next week.

- You know, you won't be seeing me at all if you don't shut up.

[all cheering]

- One, two, three.

All: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

- Finally, we see the cake.

I mean, it's not my idea of dinner,

but, I guess, let them eat cake.

All: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

- Where's the food?

- I know. - It's really weird.

Yes, there's cake.

- Oh, can I have some?

- It looks like it's not edible cake,

and I'm just thinking, "How can I eat it?"

'Cause I'm so f... ing hungry.

- I did see a deviled egg. I should have grabbed it.

- Make a good wish. - No, honey.

My wish came true when I met you.

Thank you. all: Aww.

- I love you. - Aww.

[all cheering]

- I love you.

This has been a great night.

It's new friends, old friends,

dancer friends, creative friends.

My mom is here. My husband's here.

Like, super cool.

Feels good. It feels good.

45 feels good.

♪ ♪

♪ Painkiller ♪

♪ ♪

- This time, join 'em. Go, Lisa.

- No, I'm... - Lisa.

Lisa, go and dance.

- ♪ Painkiller ♪

♪ ♪

- I think maybe Eileen Davidson and Lisa Rinna

would probably be thrilled

if I wasn't part of this circle of friends.

♪ ♪

But no. I'm coming back.

Happy birthday. - Thank you so much.

I really appreciate you saying that.

I appreciate that.

- And I'm coming back stronger than ever.

- ♪ Like a painkiller ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Painkiller ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Like a painkiller ♪

- Next on the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

- Five, six, seven, eight.

♪ ♪

- I approach things in an in-your-face way.

My dancers have to do the same.

- Hey! - [laughing]

- Good boy.

I'm not riding anything else.

Might as well get a horse, right?

Oh, his winkie's out. Put that back in.

- How does one even find something like that?

- Where does one?

- I'm not telling you any of my secrets.

- I know you're not.

She's like, "It's a joke."

- I meant to say, I'm...

I'm sorry.

- Can I welcome you all to Dorit's Buddha Lounge?

- Oh, my... - Wow. Okay.

Happy birthday, darling.

- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God.

- To learn more about the housewives, go to bravotv.com.