All language subtitles for Scrubs - 3x17 - My Moment Of Untruth.eng

Buddy, I get that you
and Carla have been

hanging out a lot, but pretending you're

going to steal her from
me makes you seem sad,

pathetic and very lonely.

Your woman wants me so bad,

we've developed our own little
shorthand with each other.

- Mornin'.
- Morning.

That means good morning.

Noted.

How was mardi gras night?

Ooh!

Come on!

Enough beads. No more flashing.

More beads, damn it! Come on!

Fine.

Bite me.

Sounds pretty embarrassing.

Only because Jasper becomes an innie

when he gets nervous.

Still...

Friends forever!

Of course, not all relationships

are as solid as Carla's and mine.

Dr. Reid, why are you using

standard macrolides
to treat your patient

instead of clo-veritol?

Oh, clo-veritol is a
drug? Now, honestly, Bob,

here I was under the
impression that it was

a travel agency, what with
all the free golf trips

they've gone ahead and sent you on.

I'll have you know that
I do not authorize any

drug for this hospital that I
haven't personally researched.

What did the research
for clo-veritol say, sir?

When life's not fair
at all, use clo-veritol.

Check out Barbie,
body-slamming big Bob.

That a girl!

Look, I have spent the last
3 years in this hospital

getting pushed around
because I'm "little Barbie

from connecticut."

But there is a new toy
in town, and her name

is "bitch slap Barbie."

From connecticut.

Still, let's remember
that you can't even

drive the doctor car without big daddy

sitting right there beside you,

because you went ahead and accidentally

gave the patient over in
bed 4 macrolides and opiates,

2 medications that i
guarantee you are going

to make her nauseous.

My patient is fine, and I don't need you

I roughly think that
would be the faint sound

of your patient vomiting.

You may be having trouble hearing it

over the much louder sound
of me being right yet again.

Oh, god?

My brilliance is now becoming a bit

of a burden.

Get back to me.

I got to give mr. Ingram his meds,

so...later.

Later.

That means "I'll be seeing you later."

You want my fianc�e,

just go ahead and take
her, 'cause she's been

naggin' the crap out of me.

"Pick up your socks, wash your dishes,

stop whispering booyah to J.D.

in the morning after we have sex."

How else am i supposed to know?

I'm sayin'! But you know what?

I'm not givin' her anymore ammo.

There is no way in hell
that she will ever be

able to bust my...

damn!

Ooh! That ass warrants the
batman sound effect salute.

Turk, how come every time I turn around

you're checking out some
woman's you-know-what?

Tushie parts?

Thanks for having my back.

Babe.

That means now she all mad.

When you work in a hospital

You can count on an
ever-changing roster

of new faces, whether
it's the new flower lady

who winks too much
or the plastic surgeon

who's returned after spending 3 years

fixing cleft palates in
third world countries.

So if any of you are interested in

following in the philanthropic footsteps

of Dr. Ramirez, he has graciously

offered to answer any of your questions.

I told you no one would care.

Sometimes a new face will
just outright surprise you.

What the hell are you doing?

Me? Nothin', man. I'm just waitin'

for my brother to get off work.

Maybe you know him.

He's a janitor here. My name's Rocksco.

- Why is he doing that?
- I think he gets bored.

So I'm supposed to
marry someone who's going

to stare at women for
the rest of my life?

Well, I wouldn't put it
that way in your vows.

Let's see how he likes it
when I do it in front of him.

Hey, honey!

What's up, baby?

It's good, isn't it?

That's because every time

Estelle's working,
she puts extra croutons

into the stuffing.

And yet the salads always suffer.

Excuse me. I am talking about that man's ass!

Gotta go !

You know, 'cause it's
such a fine, chiseled

dig-your-fingernails
into it kind of ass.

Babe, he probably works out.

-Carla?
-Ron!

Kudos on the nice pooper.

Thank you. Mine's firm, like mutton.

Lovely.

Ok, mr. Thompson, we've
got your fever down,

but how's the pain in your abdomen?

Practically gone.

Really?

Little trick I picked up in med school.

Good trick. I think my insides exploded.

Now I suspect you've got pancreatitis,

so we're going to run

some lfts and do an ultrasound.

But in the meantime, I
am going to prescribe you

something for your pain.

No, no, no, please,
please, don't sweat it.

I'm used to the pain.

Besides my mom is
bringing by the kids later

and I figure there should
be at least one sober adult

in the room.

No, seriously, she's a drunk.

Oh, sorry.

Stop it.

There's nothing worse
than being around 2 people

with a history.

So did Shari and Steve ever get married?

You didn't hear what happened?

Please say you heard.

- No, I didn't.
- Damn you, ron!

Steve took a year off to take care of

his parents, and while he was gone,

Shari started seeing Dr. Harding.

Nooo! Really?

Yes.

Shari and gary?

But that summer, they
took a river-rafting trip

through the grand canyon
and they both drowned.

Oh, thank God!

You know, 'cause they... they both died

doing what they loved.

Rafting.

So everybody treating you ok?

Yeah! You know, the nurse that does

the sponge baths, wouldn't be shocked

if she's killed before.

Hey, sunshine!

Why don't you just calm your ass down?

You was barely bleeding.

From a bath, woman!

I don't get it. I've
run every single test.

I cannot figure out why this guy is

in so much pain.

Did you run
a d-u-h test?

What's a D.U.H.?
- Uh, duh!!

The guy is a drug addict trying to score

painkillers.

But he refused drugs.

My bad. He is a very clever drug addict.

Look, I hate to question
your 3 years of wisdom,

but your pain guy is just like a million

other drug addicts
who walk into hospitals

every year with their
aches and their pains

and their spasms and their
cramps and their myalgia

and their neuralgia, and their otalgia

or any other algia they
can possibly think of

just so they can get a fix.

Well, I believe in this guy.

Would you like to go out on a limb,

sign him in, keep him overnight?

You know, Dr. Cox, you think

that you have seen it all

and done it all, but guess what?

You haven't done me!

Give her a second there, gang.

That didn't come out right.

Go!

Yo, if you're captain out there today,

pick me first, and then I'll be like,

"dude, we always play together."

Then you can pick who you really
want to pick, but everyone else

will think you wanted to pick me first.
-When do you think of this stuff?

Every minute of every day.

Hey, either of you guys
seen my twin brother?

Hey! I asked you a question.

You're better than this.

Whoo whoo!

Any sign of my brother, the janitor?

Dude, there is no way that we ever,

ever believe this one.

Can someone say keep rockin'?

Hey, Carla, after you check
Mrs. Ruck's I.V. In room 310,

can you zip down to the cafeteria

and flirt more with Dr. Hotbutt?

Fine. So I was flirting
with him a little.

But I used to have
such a crush on the guy.

And besides, you flirt sometimes.

It's harmless, right?

Can I press your button?

I don't know. Can I press yours?

It's not always harmless.

Hey, Carla,

I was wondering if you wanted

to grab dinner with me tonight.

It's always a risk when
you go out on a limb.

Ultimately you just
make yourself vulnerable.

Laverne, did you pull up
Mr. Thompson's old charts?

He was here, like, 8 years
ago, complaining of the same

abdominal pain, but as soon as
he was given his pain medication,

he went A.M.A.

He just took the drugs and bolted?

No, he took some towels, too.

Frick!

So what do you say?

And you just hate to see anyone
get crushed, even Dr. Hotbutt.

Sure. That sounds great.

I'm sorry, what?

What the hell just happened?

I don't know. He asked me out to dinner

and I said yes. It just came out.

Shame!

Look, everyone thinks it's just
guys who get all freaked out

before the wedding, but
it happens to women, too.

And Ronnie... -Ronnie?

Ron. Ron.

He's not just some guy, J.D.

He's my "what if" guy,

the one I always wondered about,

the one I idealized, you know?

If I go out with him and I feel nothing,

you know how confident
I'll feel about turk?

Now I want you to go.

You know what that means?

That she's a sorceress.

Look, I would never do
anything inappropriate.

Then you won't mind if I tell Turk.

If you have to, go ahead.
But then I'll know that

we're not as close as I thought.

Damn beads.

Mr. Thompson, I was just taking
a look at your old charts.

Yes! He was just telling me
that the last time he was here,

his doctor couldn't diagnose
him and just threw a bunch of

painkillers at him instead.
- He did?

I was so frustrated, I took off,

but I have to say with Dr. Reid here,

I know we're finally gonna
get to the bottom of things.

She is one terrific doctor.

So this pain you're having
is making you delusional.

- No. Why?
- No reason.

Well, this is nice,
after all these years

actually being out with you.

Yeah, so where do you want to sit?

How about here ?

We have a lovely selection of condoms.

Ooh! Lemon zinger!

Uncool.

What were you thinkin' about?

What you'd look like
if you were chinese.

Me, too!

Ooh, that was lucky.

Hey, fellas! Guess what's on.

A little show that I like to
call indisputable evidence.

Thank you, brothers, for inviting me

to your twin birthday party!

No problem, Troy.

Hey, brother, why don't you enjoy

this nice pen set that I got for you?

Check it out.

Take your time. Approach it slowly.

Hey, wow! Thanks, bro!

I'm definitely gonna
use this to write to you

when I finish my
around-the-world travels.

Put her there, man. All right!

You do a good job around here.

And that, boys, is a
brotherly handshake.

Sometimes around here,

you can't believe what you're seeing.

Other times, it's as clear as day.

Thanks.

Oh Great! You're getting
medication for your "pain patient."

But, say, why stop there?

How's about we load up our
fanny packs with happy pills,

drive downtown, I'll hang out
of the sun-roof, and we can just

throw fistfuls of 'em right at drug addicts
and it'll just be a big happy parade!

You know what's amazing about you?
You have this unbelievable ability

to make me doubt myself.

I don't think I could possibly
make you doubt yourself

ya rascal, unless you
had the unnatural talent

for being wrong most of the time.

Well, I'm not wrong. I just saw
Mr. Thompson writhing in pain

and he had no idea
that I was watching him.

But you probably don't care about that,

because you're more concerned with being
right than doing what's right. Aren't you?

Stay calm. Turk's never
gonna find out about her date.

You got a minute to talk?

I got lots of time to talk. Do you
wanna talk about anything? Anything?

Hours to talk. We could talk
about our feelings. Wh-what's up?

Look, I been thinking about this
whole Carla nagging me thing, right?

And I know it's coming from
a good place because, well,

let's face it, the woman
lives and dies for me.

More wine?

Oh, God! Yes!

So I'm supposed to marry
someone who's gonna bust my chops

every time I look at a woman
for the rest of my life?

Well, I wouldn't put it that
way in your vows... Hand me that?

Here you go.

So you and that girl Kelly
finally broke up, huh?

Yeah.... What was that cute
name that you used to call her?

Skunk-face! I was
a little mean back then.

Nahhh. I always used to think you
were...the sweetest girl on earth.

Nag! Nag! Nag! Nag! You see how Carla is lately.
I mean, is that all I have to look forward to?

I hear they're coming out
with a stuart little 3.

No, it's on hold. The
director dropped out.

Turk, don't you have any work to do?

Dude, surgeon.

Beads, keep me strong!

What?

Nothing.

I'm so glad we did this!

Oh, me too. You know, I have to
leave for a lecture tour on Monday,

but I'm back the last week in April,
so maybe we can get together then.

You know,

I'm getting married april 24.

So then our plans totally
interfere with your honeymoon.

A little bit.

Excited about it ?

I'm so excited.

Mr. Thompson, I've decided
I'd like to prescribe you

something for the pain.

Well, you know,

that's your call.

There's just one little problem.

Oh, my god! Just give
me the drugs, 'k, lady?

For God's sake, I've been working you

from every possible angle.
I refused painkillers.

I did the "you're the greatest
doctor" bit, which I know you loved.

then somewhere between, getting a
tube in my ass and a tube in my mouth

which by the way, I'm still
praying wasn't the same tube,

I found time to do the whole "I'm
writhing in pain but I don't know

if you're watching me" thing!

So please, or pretty please, or
however you want me to say it, Doctor,

why don't you say it! Why don't
you say it! Why don't you tell me

what the problem is, AND SAY IT!

I was just gonna say
that my pen doesn't work,

and I needed a new one
to write out your dosage.

Oh. Awesome.

I felt nothing for him.

How cool is that?

Had a dream just like this,

except I had a saddle on my
back and you were an indian.

Turk was a donkey.

I'm gonna go tell Turk.

Oh, that's great. She's gonna go

...wait. What?!

Whatever you do, don't scream.

Why would I scream ?

I don't know.

People always say that in the movies.

Anyway, I don't think Turk's gonna be as
excited about your big date as you are.

All right? He definitely won't
love the fact that I knew about it.

So just...tell him in five years.

You did what?!

Make that 20 years.

Honey, that was a long time ago.

Why are you still living here?!

Because I've got nowhere else to go!

Sorry.

But still, what if I want to tell him?

Well, that's up to you, isn't it?

Got to go.

Damn beads.

Yuk it up, I don't care.
I'm getting the last laugh!

'Cause my brother's
waiting for me downstairs

and when these elevator
doors open, you'll see,

he's gonna be staring
right at you two guys.

Okay, I don't know what I
thought was gonna happen,

but I think we can all agree
that this isn't working out,

it's costing me a tremendous amount of time
and effort, so let's just call it a draw.

Hell, no! You lost. Live with it.

It's hard when you
lose for the first time.

It's even harder when
it's the hundredth time

- Say it.
- You're always right.

I know! But it is still
so nice to hear it.

How did you know that he was lying?

Well, you said that he
wasn't; and as a rule,

I always take whatever you say and just
go in the exact opposite direction with it.

But, more than that, Barbie,
the main reason is because...

well, lookit, medicine is all
about experience. Hell, wouldja...

wouldja like to go ahead and have a look at
who the last doctor was to give Thompson drugs?

You?

Oh!

Why didn't you say something earlier?

What, give up my front-row
seat to Barbie's Wild Ride?

"He's a drug addict! He's not a drug
addict! You-make-me-doubt-my-self!

"You're more interested in being
right than doing what's right!

And I just couldn't take
it! Can't take it anymore!"

And yet sometimes
losing is a good thing.

Like, for instance, when
you lose your insecurities

about the guy you're marrying,

which makes it a whole lot easier

to cut him some slack once in a while.

Go ahead, look.

Really, baby?

Yeah. Besides, you're
cutting up your napkin.

I guess you can never underestimate

how the smallest gesture

can make everything better.

You know, for a minute there,

I actually thought
you had a twin brother.

Really? Was it when my
twin brother was here?

-Stop it.
-Sorry.

Too much.