Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,070
Therapist:
So, where do you want to start?
2
00:00:18,140 --> 00:00:19,210
I don't know.
3
00:00:19,230 --> 00:00:21,230
Therapist:
Okay. Why'd you run away?
4
00:00:25,030 --> 00:00:27,230
("Liability" by Lorde playing)
5
00:00:36,179 --> 00:00:38,079
♪ Baby really hurt me ♪
6
00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:40,200
♪ Cryin' in the taxi,
he don't wanna know me ♪
7
00:00:40,219 --> 00:00:45,119
♪ Says he made the big mistake
of dancing in my storm ♪
8
00:00:46,090 --> 00:00:49,030
♪ Says it was poison ♪
9
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,020
♪ So I guess I'll go home ♪
10
00:00:51,039 --> 00:00:54,009
♪ Into the arms of the girl
that I love ♪
11
00:00:54,030 --> 00:00:57,030
♪ The only love
I haven't screwed up ♪
12
00:00:57,049 --> 00:00:59,039
♪ She's so hard to please ♪
13
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:01,229
♪ But she's a forest fire ♪
14
00:01:02,009 --> 00:01:04,099
♪ I do my best to meet
her demands ♪
15
00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:07,120
♪ Play at romance,
we slow dance
in the living room ♪
16
00:01:07,140 --> 00:01:10,000
♪ But all that
a stranger would see ♪
17
00:01:10,019 --> 00:01:12,180
♪ Is one girl swaying alone ♪
18
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,219
♪ Stroking her cheek ♪
19
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:19,159
♪ They say,
"You're a little much for me ♪
20
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:22,170
♪ "You're a liability ♪
21
00:01:22,189 --> 00:01:27,039
♪ You're a little much
for me" ♪
22
00:01:27,060 --> 00:01:30,170
♪ So they pull back,
make other plans ♪
23
00:01:30,189 --> 00:01:35,120
♪ I understand,
I'm a liability ♪
24
00:01:35,140 --> 00:01:38,159
♪ Get you wild,
make you leave ♪
25
00:01:38,180 --> 00:01:45,069
♪ I'm a little much for
e-a-na-na-na, everyone ♪
26
00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:51,000
♪ The truth is,
I am a toy that people enjoy ♪
27
00:01:51,020 --> 00:01:55,189
♪ Till all of the tricks
don't work anymore ♪
28
00:01:55,210 --> 00:01:58,189
♪ And then they are
bored of me ♪
29
00:01:58,210 --> 00:02:01,219
♪ I know that it's exciting
running through the night ♪
30
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,019
♪ But every perfect summer's
eating me alive ♪
31
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,090
♪ Until you're gone ♪
32
00:02:08,150 --> 00:02:12,020
♪ Better on my own ♪
33
00:02:12,039 --> 00:02:17,009
♪ They say,
"You're a little much for me ♪
34
00:02:17,030 --> 00:02:20,090
♪ "You're a liability ♪
35
00:02:20,110 --> 00:02:24,129
♪ You're a little
much for me" ♪
36
00:02:24,150 --> 00:02:28,039
♪ So they pull back,
make other plans ♪
37
00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:32,189
♪ I understand,
I'm a liability ♪
38
00:02:32,210 --> 00:02:35,219
♪ Get you wild,
make you leave ♪
39
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:42,150
♪ I'm a little much for
e-a-na-na-na, everyone ♪
40
00:02:44,020 --> 00:02:51,099
♪ But they're gonna watch me
disappear into the sun ♪
41
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:55,120
♪ You're all gonna
watch me disappear ♪
42
00:02:55,139 --> 00:02:59,139
♪ Into the sun ♪
43
00:03:00,199 --> 00:03:03,120
Can we not talk about that?
44
00:03:04,159 --> 00:03:05,189
Therapist:
Why?
45
00:03:05,210 --> 00:03:08,099
(rain pattering)
46
00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,110
I don't know.
'Cause it was just like a,
47
00:03:10,129 --> 00:03:13,139
like a dumb,
not-well-thought-out plan,
48
00:03:13,159 --> 00:03:17,120
and I was, like, drunk
and reacting to shit.
49
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,170
Therapist:
Reacting to what?
50
00:03:25,009 --> 00:03:26,219
Come on, I, I really...
51
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,039
don't wanna talk about it.
52
00:03:30,099 --> 00:03:31,189
Therapist:
Okay.
53
00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:34,030
What do you want to talk about?
54
00:03:34,050 --> 00:03:36,170
(inhales slowly, exhales)
55
00:03:41,099 --> 00:03:43,229
I think I want to
go off my hormones.
56
00:03:45,189 --> 00:03:48,120
Therapist:
Mm. Okay.
57
00:03:50,210 --> 00:03:53,229
Have you been thinking a lot
about de-transitioning?
58
00:03:54,219 --> 00:03:56,069
No.
59
00:03:56,090 --> 00:03:58,120
Therapist:
Okay. Then what is it?
60
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:01,120
I don't know.
I've just been, like,
61
00:04:01,139 --> 00:04:04,159
thinking about what's next.
62
00:04:05,180 --> 00:04:07,080
Therapist:
In what sense?
63
00:04:08,050 --> 00:04:11,169
(sighs)
I mean...
64
00:04:11,189 --> 00:04:15,039
I don't know. I guess it's--
I guess it's interesting,
65
00:04:15,060 --> 00:04:17,230
'cause, like, before I ran away,
66
00:04:18,009 --> 00:04:23,019
uh, I had gone to the city
to visit some old friends,
and...
67
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:26,170
we were having
this exact conversation.
68
00:04:26,189 --> 00:04:28,060
And...
69
00:04:29,079 --> 00:04:31,100
Basically, um...
70
00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:36,100
I feel like I've framed
71
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:41,120
my entire womanhood
around men.
72
00:04:41,139 --> 00:04:43,149
When, like, in reality,
73
00:04:43,170 --> 00:04:45,180
I'm no longer interested
in men.
74
00:04:47,090 --> 00:04:48,220
Like, philosophically.
75
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:52,000
Like, like, what men want.
76
00:04:52,019 --> 00:04:56,040
Like, what men want
is so boring.
77
00:04:56,060 --> 00:05:01,009
And simple, and not creative,
and, like, uh...
78
00:05:01,029 --> 00:05:03,110
I just, like,
I look at myself,
and I'm like,
79
00:05:03,129 --> 00:05:06,230
how the fuck did I spend
my entire life
80
00:05:07,009 --> 00:05:10,040
building this. Like...
81
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:13,170
(sighs) Like, my body,
and my personality,
82
00:05:13,189 --> 00:05:17,069
and, like, my soul around
83
00:05:17,089 --> 00:05:19,230
what I think men desire?
84
00:05:22,149 --> 00:05:24,069
It's just, like...
85
00:05:24,089 --> 00:05:26,019
it's embarrassing.
86
00:05:27,149 --> 00:05:30,209
I feel like a... a fraud.
87
00:05:33,199 --> 00:05:35,100
I feel like there's
a lot to unpack
88
00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:37,009
within what
you just said, okay,
89
00:05:37,029 --> 00:05:39,029
but the main thing I heard,
90
00:05:39,050 --> 00:05:41,139
is how hard you are
on yourself.
91
00:05:41,159 --> 00:05:44,120
The amount of self-criticism
you're experiencing,
92
00:05:44,139 --> 00:05:45,220
it's a lot.
93
00:05:47,019 --> 00:05:48,120
Yeah.
94
00:05:49,110 --> 00:05:52,029
But I, I think it's necessary.
95
00:05:52,050 --> 00:05:53,180
Therapist:
Are you sure?
96
00:05:55,029 --> 00:05:57,129
I mean, I hope so.
97
00:05:58,139 --> 00:06:00,050
Or else,
98
00:06:00,069 --> 00:06:03,040
then I'm really fucking crazy.
99
00:06:05,069 --> 00:06:07,110
You're not crazy, Jules.
100
00:06:07,129 --> 00:06:11,029
You're just a lot harder
on yourself than you
probably should be.
101
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,209
Jules:
Yeah.
102
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,019
Acknowledging that's important.
103
00:06:19,220 --> 00:06:23,120
Yeah, but, but also, like,
what I'm saying is true.
104
00:06:23,139 --> 00:06:28,160
Like, without
the self-criticism,
I'd be lost.
105
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,060
Therapist:
Or free.
106
00:06:33,009 --> 00:06:35,050
Both can be scary feelings.
107
00:06:39,019 --> 00:06:42,019
You really feel like
your entire existence,
108
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:45,149
physically and emotionally,
is, is that reactive?
109
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,220
What do you mean?
110
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,170
Therapist:
That I'm not looking
or talking to Jules?
111
00:06:50,189 --> 00:06:55,000
I'm looking at an avatar
she created in reaction
to the world?
112
00:06:55,019 --> 00:06:58,180
Yeah. Yeah. I'm here.
You know.
113
00:06:58,199 --> 00:07:03,029
But you're looking at, like,
a million layers of other people
114
00:07:03,050 --> 00:07:04,199
that I've grabbed and clung to
115
00:07:04,220 --> 00:07:07,079
throughout my entire life.
116
00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:10,019
That's, like, that's terrifying.
117
00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:11,170
It-- I mean,
that's why I think
118
00:07:11,189 --> 00:07:15,029
when I was talking to
my friend about this, or...
119
00:07:15,230 --> 00:07:17,029
Or...
120
00:07:17,050 --> 00:07:20,019
Well, I don't, I don't know.
I guess this is, like,
121
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,180
this is our first session.
122
00:07:21,199 --> 00:07:25,019
I don't want to get into all,
like, the childhood bullshit,
123
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,110
'cause it's a lot.
124
00:07:27,129 --> 00:07:29,129
It's exhausting.
125
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:33,060
But when I was having this
conversation with my friend,
126
00:07:33,079 --> 00:07:35,149
we were talking about how,
127
00:07:35,170 --> 00:07:37,139
I feel like
128
00:07:37,159 --> 00:07:43,209
my entire life,
I've been trying to
conquer femininity,
129
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:48,069
and somewhere
along the way,
130
00:07:48,090 --> 00:07:50,209
I feel like femininity
131
00:07:50,230 --> 00:07:52,189
conquered me.
132
00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:01,209
Therapist:
What?
133
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,129
What?
134
00:08:05,189 --> 00:08:07,100
What was that thought?
135
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:09,199
Well...
136
00:08:09,220 --> 00:08:12,100
♪
137
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:13,220
Like...
138
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,120
Most girls, when you first
talk to them,
139
00:08:16,139 --> 00:08:21,170
they, like, automatically
analyze and compare
themselves to you.
140
00:08:21,189 --> 00:08:24,019
And then, you know, they,
they search for where you fit
141
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:25,160
in their hierarchy,
142
00:08:25,180 --> 00:08:29,230
and then they treat you
accordingly.
143
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,139
Therapist:
What hierarchy?
144
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:37,009
Like, how close you are
to what they all collectively
want to be.
145
00:08:37,029 --> 00:08:38,220
Like, in their heads.
146
00:08:39,149 --> 00:08:41,100
Therapist:
Right.
147
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,210
And, you know, even if
they've, like, mastered
148
00:08:43,230 --> 00:08:47,210
the art of hiding it with,
like, smiles and nods,
149
00:08:47,230 --> 00:08:49,210
and small talk, it's, like,
150
00:08:49,230 --> 00:08:52,049
you'd still catch them doing it.
151
00:08:52,070 --> 00:08:55,139
Like, like their eyes
wandering over your face, or...
152
00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:59,149
or, you know, the quick takes
up and down your body.
153
00:08:59,169 --> 00:09:03,110
Or like, they watch
how your clothes
hang off your torso,
154
00:09:03,129 --> 00:09:07,110
or, like, they look for
what tags are on your clothes
155
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:11,200
to see where you shop,
or they'll watch your hands
to find, like,
156
00:09:11,220 --> 00:09:16,000
fucked-up cuticles
or chipped nail polish.
157
00:09:18,019 --> 00:09:19,159
Honestly, it would,
158
00:09:19,179 --> 00:09:21,149
it would be a kind of
sensual experience
159
00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:24,210
if it wasn't so fucking
terrifying.
160
00:09:27,059 --> 00:09:29,110
So they want to find flaws.
161
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,159
Jules:
Yeah. Uh, most girls.
162
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,039
But not Rue.
163
00:09:39,190 --> 00:09:41,129
Mm-mm.
164
00:09:44,009 --> 00:09:46,230
What's the first thing
that comes to mind?
165
00:09:58,120 --> 00:09:59,230
♪
166
00:10:00,009 --> 00:10:03,139
Jules:
No girl had ever looked at me
the way Rue did.
167
00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:08,169
♪
168
00:10:11,179 --> 00:10:13,059
Hi.
169
00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:20,019
I just, I feel like Rue
was the first girl
170
00:10:20,039 --> 00:10:23,100
that didn't just look at me.
171
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:28,049
Like, she actually saw me.
172
00:10:28,070 --> 00:10:31,019
Uh, I mean, not to say that
in, like, a cheesy way,
173
00:10:31,039 --> 00:10:33,120
'cause it sounds cheesy, right?
Like...
174
00:10:33,139 --> 00:10:36,059
Therapist:
Honestly,
it sounds like a relief.
175
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,070
Yeah. It...
176
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:44,000
But, I mean, like,
when I say me,
177
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:47,070
I mean, I mean the me that
I was talking about earlier.
Like...
178
00:10:47,090 --> 00:10:52,029
The me that's underneath
a million layers of not me.
179
00:10:53,210 --> 00:10:56,139
I can't imagine how
that must have felt.
180
00:10:57,210 --> 00:10:59,039
Yeah.
181
00:11:00,190 --> 00:11:02,129
Yeah, it felt good.
182
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,179
Kind of reminds me of how
a mom would see you.
183
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,200
Keep going with that thought.
184
00:11:17,220 --> 00:11:19,139
Well, just like,
185
00:11:19,159 --> 00:11:23,070
how a mom sees you
before you're anything.
186
00:11:23,090 --> 00:11:27,100
And, like,
loves you just for that.
187
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,190
And all you have to do
is just, like, sit there
and exist.
188
00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:34,009
Is that how your mom saw you?
189
00:11:37,179 --> 00:11:41,230
I, I don't know.
I mean, like, the time
we're talking about is
190
00:11:42,009 --> 00:11:44,210
before you can remember
anything. So...
191
00:11:44,230 --> 00:11:46,080
I don't know.
192
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:49,009
Is that how you imagine
your mom saw you?
193
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,019
I hope so.
194
00:11:59,169 --> 00:12:04,009
(woman singing operatic solo)
195
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,120
Jules:
Um, I take that back.
196
00:12:16,139 --> 00:12:18,230
Uh, I don't wanna talk
about my mom.
197
00:12:19,009 --> 00:12:21,159
Therapist:
I promise you,
I have no agenda.
198
00:12:21,179 --> 00:12:24,120
We can talk about whatever
it is you wanna talk about.
199
00:12:24,139 --> 00:12:26,090
I mean, uh...
200
00:12:26,110 --> 00:12:30,120
Yeah. Uh, I think I really
wanna go off my hormones.
201
00:12:32,070 --> 00:12:33,210
Therapist:
Okay.
202
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:37,100
Or... Well, not like
everything.
203
00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:39,149
Probably just my blockers.
204
00:12:39,169 --> 00:12:45,070
I have, like, this weird
sci-fi chip implant in my arm.
205
00:12:45,090 --> 00:12:47,159
-Supprelin?
-Yeah, and it, like,
206
00:12:47,179 --> 00:12:50,120
stops my voice from dropping.
207
00:12:50,139 --> 00:12:53,190
Um, my balls from
getting bigger, you know?
208
00:12:53,210 --> 00:12:57,039
The kind of shit that men
wouldn't find desirable.
209
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,090
-(thunder rumbles in distance)
-(water splashing on street)
210
00:13:02,110 --> 00:13:04,149
I don't know. Uh...
211
00:13:04,169 --> 00:13:08,009
I've always thought of puberty
212
00:13:08,029 --> 00:13:10,139
as, like, a broadening,
213
00:13:10,159 --> 00:13:14,139
or a deepening, or like,
a, a thickening.
214
00:13:14,159 --> 00:13:18,059
Which I, I think is, like,
why I was always so
scared of it, you know?
215
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,220
'Cause in my head,
women were always, like,
216
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:25,129
small and thin
and delicate, and...
217
00:13:25,149 --> 00:13:30,019
You know, so, like,
the thought of puberty,
like this...
218
00:13:30,039 --> 00:13:32,000
irreversible, forever
219
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:36,100
fucking metamorphosis
was just, like, fucking
terrifying.
220
00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,210
And, you know, that,
like, when it happened,
221
00:13:38,230 --> 00:13:41,000
I'd just, like,
end up on the other side.
222
00:13:41,019 --> 00:13:43,000
Like, stuck.
223
00:13:43,019 --> 00:13:46,210
Or even worse,
just, like, a man.
224
00:13:46,230 --> 00:13:48,200
Like, like,
through and through.
225
00:13:48,220 --> 00:13:52,059
And then femininity would
always be this just, like,
226
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:56,100
this, like, elusive,
distant thing, you know?
227
00:13:57,049 --> 00:13:59,090
Like, unreachable.
228
00:13:59,110 --> 00:14:01,090
But, uh, but then,
229
00:14:01,110 --> 00:14:04,019
I think about beautiful things
230
00:14:04,039 --> 00:14:08,000
that are also broad and deep,
231
00:14:08,019 --> 00:14:12,159
and thick, and I think of...
232
00:14:12,179 --> 00:14:15,129
something like the ocean.
233
00:14:15,149 --> 00:14:17,210
♪
234
00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:22,080
I think, like...
235
00:14:23,190 --> 00:14:28,070
that I want to be
as beautiful as the ocean.
236
00:14:28,090 --> 00:14:30,200
'Cause the ocean's
strong as fuck.
237
00:14:30,220 --> 00:14:32,090
And feminine as fuck.
238
00:14:32,110 --> 00:14:35,110
And, like, both are what
makes the ocean the ocean.
239
00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:39,220
My grandmother used to
live by the ocean.
240
00:14:41,169 --> 00:14:44,090
And, uh, when we'd go visit,
241
00:14:44,110 --> 00:14:46,190
we'd go down to the beach.
242
00:14:46,210 --> 00:14:49,029
(classical music playing)
243
00:14:49,049 --> 00:14:51,200
And, uh, I'd close my eyes...
244
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:57,029
And I'd just swim, and swim.
245
00:14:57,049 --> 00:15:01,000
And it didn't matter,
like, where I was going,
246
00:15:01,019 --> 00:15:03,029
or what could happen.
247
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:07,039
Sometimes I'd pray
to the ocean.
248
00:15:12,059 --> 00:15:15,009
(operatic singer continues)
249
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:22,039
At least for me,
being trans is spiritual.
250
00:15:22,059 --> 00:15:23,149
You know, it's not religious.
251
00:15:23,169 --> 00:15:26,129
It's not, like,
for some congregation.
252
00:15:26,149 --> 00:15:29,129
It's for me. It's mine.
It belongs to me.
253
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:33,200
And I don't ever
want to stand still.
254
00:15:33,220 --> 00:15:38,190
Like, I want to be alive.
255
00:15:38,210 --> 00:15:42,049
I mean, that's what
this has always been
about, is, like...
256
00:15:43,190 --> 00:15:45,200
staying alive.
257
00:15:47,149 --> 00:15:49,190
♪
258
00:15:56,019 --> 00:15:58,139
The only problem is, um...
259
00:15:59,169 --> 00:16:02,179
I might have lost Rue
along the way.
260
00:16:04,070 --> 00:16:05,190
What do you mean?
261
00:16:05,210 --> 00:16:08,090
Just that, like,
I've, I've called her
a bunch of times,
262
00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:13,049
and, um, she hasn't
picked up, and...
263
00:16:13,070 --> 00:16:16,200
Like, I think I--
I think I really fucked up.
264
00:16:18,129 --> 00:16:20,080
But, like, I was panicking.
265
00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:22,149
Like, I was really panicking.
266
00:16:27,210 --> 00:16:31,100
Without, like,
getting melodramatic...
267
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,139
I've had a really hard
six months.
268
00:16:48,039 --> 00:16:51,149
Like, moving here
has been really hard.
269
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:56,100
And, like, I don't know.
Just kind of...
270
00:16:56,120 --> 00:17:01,059
A bunch of shit
all happened at once. And...
271
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:03,059
like, I just freaked out.
272
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:05,109
Like, I panicked,
and I felt like if I,
273
00:17:05,130 --> 00:17:08,140
if I didn't get out,
I was gonna fucking die.
274
00:17:11,029 --> 00:17:12,119
Therapist:
How?
275
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:23,000
Mm, it's maybe, like,
a little hard for me to talk
about right now.
276
00:17:24,140 --> 00:17:27,000
Were you thinking about
hurting yourself?
277
00:17:36,049 --> 00:17:37,190
I mean, um,
278
00:17:37,210 --> 00:17:40,069
there's a difference between
279
00:17:40,089 --> 00:17:42,029
thinking about hurting yourself,
280
00:17:42,049 --> 00:17:43,200
and, uh, wa...
281
00:17:43,220 --> 00:17:45,220
wanting to hurt yourself.
But...
282
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:51,009
I think that gap was closing.
283
00:17:55,039 --> 00:17:59,019
(operatic duet playing)
284
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,099
So, I ran.
285
00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:19,000
And I left someone,
like, I really love, behind.
286
00:18:19,019 --> 00:18:21,119
♪
287
00:18:31,140 --> 00:18:36,160
Sorry. Um, I don't know
why I'm crying.
288
00:18:36,180 --> 00:18:38,009
Uh...
289
00:18:38,029 --> 00:18:40,059
Therapist:
'Cause it hurts.
290
00:18:44,009 --> 00:18:46,089
Yeah. Um...
291
00:18:48,150 --> 00:18:50,210
(sobbing)
292
00:19:05,029 --> 00:19:07,140
(sobbing continues)
293
00:19:09,019 --> 00:19:10,079
(exhales)
294
00:19:10,099 --> 00:19:12,160
Damn.
(sniffles)
295
00:19:12,180 --> 00:19:15,000
Like, at the same time,
though,
296
00:19:15,019 --> 00:19:16,230
I'm, like,
really angry at Rue.
297
00:19:17,009 --> 00:19:19,059
(sobbing)
298
00:19:20,029 --> 00:19:21,220
I feel like...
299
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,019
her sobriety is, like,
300
00:19:24,039 --> 00:19:28,019
completely dependent
on how available I am to her.
301
00:19:29,049 --> 00:19:31,059
You know? Like,
302
00:19:31,079 --> 00:19:32,180
she'd ask me to sleep over,
303
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,180
and I'd say no for,
like, whatever reason,
304
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:38,230
because it was
a fucking weekday,
or something.
305
00:19:39,009 --> 00:19:41,099
And... (exhales)
306
00:19:42,220 --> 00:19:45,160
I'd just, I'd feel,
like, this weight.
307
00:19:47,089 --> 00:19:49,170
Like, this massive weight
on my shoulders,
308
00:19:49,190 --> 00:19:51,089
and I'd think, like...
309
00:19:52,180 --> 00:19:55,200
Like, what if she relapses,
you know?
310
00:19:58,029 --> 00:20:01,180
Like, what if she relapses
'cause I'm not there?
311
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,140
(sighs)
312
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:10,109
♪ Dime si me echas
de menos aún ♪
313
00:20:10,130 --> 00:20:13,039
Jules:
But I guess it goes
both ways, because...
314
00:20:13,059 --> 00:20:14,099
you know...
315
00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:20,029
♪ Dime si no me
perdonas aún ♪
316
00:20:20,049 --> 00:20:22,190
Jules:
I fell completely
in love with her.
317
00:20:24,130 --> 00:20:29,029
♪ Que harás con todo
este veneno ♪
318
00:20:29,049 --> 00:20:31,190
♪ Nada bueno ♪
319
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:40,210
♪ Dime si me echas
de menos aún ♪
320
00:20:45,039 --> 00:20:46,200
♪ Lo vas a olvidar ♪
321
00:20:46,220 --> 00:20:48,230
♪ Can you let it go? ♪
322
00:20:49,009 --> 00:20:50,150
♪ Can you
let it go? ♪
323
00:20:50,170 --> 00:20:52,089
♪ Lo vas a olvidar ♪
324
00:20:52,109 --> 00:20:54,059
♪ Can you let it go? ♪
325
00:20:54,079 --> 00:20:57,049
♪ Lo vas a olvidar,
lo vas a olvidar ♪
326
00:20:57,069 --> 00:21:00,150
♪ Can you let it go?
Can you let it go? ♪
327
00:21:00,170 --> 00:21:02,160
♪ Lo vas a olvidar ♪
328
00:21:02,180 --> 00:21:04,210
♪ Can you let it go? ♪
329
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:06,230
♪ Lo vas a olvidar ♪
330
00:21:07,009 --> 00:21:08,099
Jules:
That was it!
331
00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:09,220
Oh, God.
332
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,109
Yay! You did it!
(kisses)
333
00:21:12,130 --> 00:21:14,099
-Thank you.
-Mmm...
334
00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:16,180
(laughing softly)
335
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:23,009
♪ Dime que no
te arrepientes aún ♪
336
00:21:23,029 --> 00:21:25,109
David:
I talked to your mom today.
337
00:21:25,130 --> 00:21:27,150
She moved out of
the halfway house.
338
00:21:27,170 --> 00:21:29,230
She's been clean
for nine months.
339
00:21:31,049 --> 00:21:32,150
Don't do that.
340
00:21:32,170 --> 00:21:35,009
Please. Don't roll your eyes.
341
00:21:35,029 --> 00:21:37,029
-Come on. It's Mom.
-Yeah.
342
00:21:37,049 --> 00:21:38,210
You can be angry with her,
343
00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:40,079
and I understand that,
344
00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:43,039
but you can't just
dismiss the good.
345
00:21:43,059 --> 00:21:45,059
Well, I'm allowed
to be skeptical.
346
00:21:48,029 --> 00:21:54,019
♪ Dame un beso
y bajame de la cruz ♪
347
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,089
She did say
she wanted to see you.
348
00:22:00,059 --> 00:22:02,000
♪ Can you let it go? ♪
349
00:22:02,019 --> 00:22:03,160
I knew it.
350
00:22:03,180 --> 00:22:05,069
I knew this was not
just gonna be, like,
351
00:22:05,089 --> 00:22:09,109
some conversation about
how well Mom is doing.
352
00:22:09,130 --> 00:22:12,220
Um, you can tell her,
"No, thank you."
353
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,019
♪ Can you let it go? ♪
354
00:22:14,039 --> 00:22:15,109
♪ Lo vas a olvidar ♪
355
00:22:15,130 --> 00:22:17,210
-(fork clatters)
-Okay.
356
00:22:17,230 --> 00:22:19,109
♪ Lo vas a olvidar ♪
357
00:22:21,019 --> 00:22:23,019
Jules:
I was afraid to talk to Rue
358
00:22:23,039 --> 00:22:24,200
about, like, shit that was
going on with my mom,
359
00:22:24,220 --> 00:22:28,150
because she'd think
that I felt the same way
about her
360
00:22:28,170 --> 00:22:30,200
that, like, I do my mom.
361
00:22:30,220 --> 00:22:32,170
Therapist:
Well, don't you?
362
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:36,130
What?
363
00:22:36,150 --> 00:22:39,150
Therapist:
Don't you feel the same way
about Rue as you do your mom?
364
00:22:40,210 --> 00:22:43,059
-No.
-You just said you were
angry at Rue
365
00:22:43,079 --> 00:22:46,089
for the imbalance she created
in your relationship.
366
00:22:46,109 --> 00:22:50,119
So, would it be fair
to say that you resented
that imbalance?
367
00:22:50,140 --> 00:22:53,109
That the same person who
saw you, who truly saw you,
368
00:22:53,130 --> 00:22:55,190
in the same way
that your mom did
when you were a baby,
369
00:22:55,210 --> 00:22:59,109
was also incapable of seeing
how her additions affected you.
370
00:23:01,099 --> 00:23:03,170
I mean, uh,
I guess I've, like,
371
00:23:03,190 --> 00:23:06,230
never thought about it
that way before. Um...
372
00:23:07,009 --> 00:23:08,190
♪ If I wasn't important ♪
373
00:23:08,210 --> 00:23:10,180
♪ Then why would you
waste all your poison ♪
374
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:13,130
-(door closes)
-Rue: Mom. Mom!
375
00:23:13,150 --> 00:23:14,220
For-- Stop.
376
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,190
I told you. I'm--
I have a meeting
and then I'll be home.
377
00:23:18,210 --> 00:23:21,009
Yes. I'm fine.
378
00:23:22,029 --> 00:23:24,019
I'm literally fine.
379
00:23:25,049 --> 00:23:26,109
Okay.
380
00:23:26,130 --> 00:23:29,029
Okay, I'll text you
when I'm on my way.
381
00:23:29,049 --> 00:23:30,140
Love you.
382
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:33,019
Jules:
I feel like real life
is always such a letdown.
383
00:23:33,039 --> 00:23:36,180
-Therapist: What do you mean?
-I don't know. It's just, like--
384
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:40,089
easier to talk to people online.
385
00:23:41,210 --> 00:23:45,079
You can be more open,
and honest,
386
00:23:45,099 --> 00:23:48,079
and, like, vulnerable.
387
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,230
♪
388
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:12,039
(operatic singing continues)
389
00:24:16,009 --> 00:24:18,150
Jules:
Some of the most profound
relationships I've ever had
390
00:24:18,170 --> 00:24:20,099
have been with people
I've never met.
391
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:21,230
(door closes)
392
00:24:26,019 --> 00:24:28,140
I should have known
I was setting myself up.
393
00:24:31,059 --> 00:24:33,099
Or maybe I did know.
394
00:24:36,039 --> 00:24:39,150
Maybe that's, like, what
I'm actually attracted to.
395
00:24:41,220 --> 00:24:44,029
Maybe that's, like,
the appeal.
396
00:24:44,049 --> 00:24:47,039
♪
397
00:24:50,049 --> 00:24:51,150
The letdown.
398
00:24:55,140 --> 00:24:58,119
The fact that, like,
none of it's real.
399
00:25:05,019 --> 00:25:06,210
And it's all a fantasy.
400
00:25:06,230 --> 00:25:09,000
♪
401
00:25:09,019 --> 00:25:10,200
(phone vibrates)
402
00:25:20,130 --> 00:25:21,190
(Jules giggles)
403
00:25:21,210 --> 00:25:24,109
♪
404
00:25:34,170 --> 00:25:36,220
(giggling)
405
00:25:39,210 --> 00:25:41,220
♪
406
00:25:49,099 --> 00:25:51,190
Rue: (sighs)
You've never even
seen his face.
407
00:25:53,089 --> 00:25:55,069
I don't have to.
408
00:25:55,089 --> 00:25:57,140
I've gotten to know him,
like, really well.
409
00:25:58,170 --> 00:25:59,220
Rue:
Sure.
410
00:26:00,150 --> 00:26:02,109
I have.
411
00:26:02,130 --> 00:26:05,130
Like, better than anyone else.
412
00:26:05,150 --> 00:26:07,099
Other than you.
413
00:26:10,019 --> 00:26:12,009
Except he could be lying.
414
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,009
Rue, anyone could be lying.
415
00:26:18,180 --> 00:26:22,059
Trust me, Rue.
It's not in my head.
416
00:26:22,079 --> 00:26:25,099
I think you two would
actually really get along.
417
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:26,180
Hmmph.
418
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:30,019
Jules:
I fall in love so easily.
419
00:26:30,039 --> 00:26:32,220
I really do. It's, like,
almost embarrassing.
420
00:26:34,130 --> 00:26:36,089
Why do you think that is?
421
00:26:39,059 --> 00:26:44,140
Because half of every
relationship is in my head.
422
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:47,180
(light guitar playing)
423
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,220
♪
424
00:27:07,099 --> 00:27:09,019
Rue (softly):
What?
425
00:27:09,230 --> 00:27:11,190
Just happy I met you.
426
00:27:17,180 --> 00:27:19,049
Me, too.
427
00:27:22,029 --> 00:27:24,000
(both laugh)
428
00:27:26,170 --> 00:27:28,029
Jules:
Wait, Rue.
429
00:27:28,049 --> 00:27:30,059
You've been clean
for, like, two weeks.
430
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:34,029
Rue! No fucking way!
431
00:27:34,049 --> 00:27:36,200
Mm! Mm! Mm!
(kissing)
432
00:27:38,029 --> 00:27:40,069
I'm so proud of you!
433
00:27:42,039 --> 00:27:44,190
♪
434
00:27:48,210 --> 00:27:51,230
There were so many times
I wanted to kiss her.
435
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:58,119
♪
436
00:28:25,109 --> 00:28:27,029
But I, I didn't.
437
00:28:27,049 --> 00:28:31,089
-Um, I'm gonna go get
a glass of water.
-Oh. Okay.
438
00:28:36,190 --> 00:28:39,069
I hate everyone else
in the world but you.
439
00:28:40,119 --> 00:28:42,119
And when she finally did...
440
00:28:43,069 --> 00:28:44,130
(kisses)
441
00:28:46,069 --> 00:28:49,069
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I should go.
442
00:28:49,089 --> 00:28:51,019
(door opens)
443
00:28:51,039 --> 00:28:53,059
(door slams)
444
00:28:53,079 --> 00:28:55,180
-Jules: I froze.
-(footsteps running)
445
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:57,200
Therapist:
Why do you think that is?
446
00:28:59,009 --> 00:29:01,200
'Cause I had never
kissed a girl before.
447
00:29:04,220 --> 00:29:08,150
I'd never even, like, been
that close to a girl before.
448
00:29:10,140 --> 00:29:12,029
So when it happened,
449
00:29:12,049 --> 00:29:14,140
the only thought I had
was, like,
450
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,210
don't lose her.
451
00:29:16,230 --> 00:29:19,039
Um, hey, uh,
452
00:29:19,059 --> 00:29:22,019
I was just hoping
we could talk about
what happened earlier,
453
00:29:22,039 --> 00:29:24,200
'cause, like, I know
I was really weird,
and, um,
454
00:29:24,220 --> 00:29:27,200
I didn't, like, mean it
that way or anything.
455
00:29:27,220 --> 00:29:31,119
Um, so, yeah, uh, just--
456
00:29:31,140 --> 00:29:34,220
I just wanna talk to you.
Please call me back.
457
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,069
Bye.
458
00:29:37,170 --> 00:29:40,069
-(wind blowing)
-(leaves rustling)
459
00:29:41,170 --> 00:29:44,009
Therapist:
Why did you think
you would lose her?
460
00:29:44,230 --> 00:29:46,099
Because, like...
461
00:29:47,180 --> 00:29:50,099
How could it be possible
that Rue loved me
462
00:29:50,119 --> 00:29:52,130
as much as I loved her?
463
00:29:56,130 --> 00:29:58,089
(inhales sharply)
464
00:30:00,029 --> 00:30:02,009
I think the better question is
465
00:30:02,029 --> 00:30:05,069
why would you think
that would be impossible?
466
00:30:05,089 --> 00:30:06,220
(inhales)
467
00:30:08,029 --> 00:30:10,140
(inaudible)
468
00:30:11,190 --> 00:30:13,109
(sighs)
469
00:30:16,059 --> 00:30:19,039
(man singing operatic solo)
470
00:30:25,059 --> 00:30:26,220
(phone dings)
471
00:30:30,069 --> 00:30:32,190
Jules:
I can't tell you
how many times
472
00:30:32,210 --> 00:30:36,049
we'd just be, like,
texting and texting.
473
00:30:36,069 --> 00:30:40,150
And the next thing I know,
it would be, like,
four in the morning,
474
00:30:40,170 --> 00:30:44,069
and I hadn't slept,
and I didn't want to.
475
00:30:46,140 --> 00:30:49,049
Like, I'd never tell her this,
but...
476
00:30:49,069 --> 00:30:52,150
I feel like I got to know him
better than I knew Rue.
477
00:30:57,019 --> 00:30:59,099
We used to sext forever.
478
00:31:00,220 --> 00:31:04,029
Like, about anything
and everything.
479
00:31:06,029 --> 00:31:10,160
I know it might, like,
sound a little weird, but...
480
00:31:10,180 --> 00:31:14,220
It was, like, genuinely
the best sex I've ever had.
481
00:31:17,019 --> 00:31:19,089
Therapist:
What made it so fulfilling?
482
00:31:20,140 --> 00:31:23,200
♪
483
00:31:23,220 --> 00:31:28,119
It was just pure
fucking imagination.
484
00:31:31,029 --> 00:31:34,160
♪
485
00:31:38,009 --> 00:31:42,119
(operatic singing continues)
486
00:31:47,049 --> 00:31:49,160
Tyler:
All day I've been
thinking about you.
487
00:31:55,069 --> 00:31:57,109
Dreaming about you.
488
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:03,160
And all the things
I want to do to you.
489
00:32:06,230 --> 00:32:08,210
♪
490
00:32:22,039 --> 00:32:24,230
Jules:
I wish I could see
your face...
491
00:32:28,009 --> 00:32:30,180
and all the colors
in your eyes.
492
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,160
Would you blush if
I told you I loved you?
493
00:32:41,059 --> 00:32:43,220
♪
494
00:32:48,069 --> 00:32:51,029
Tyler (whispers):
I'm gonna fuck you
until you're soaking wet.
495
00:32:51,049 --> 00:32:53,039
(kissing)
496
00:32:57,089 --> 00:32:59,000
(Jules giggles)
497
00:33:00,150 --> 00:33:02,210
(gasps, moans)
498
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:12,069
♪
499
00:33:14,210 --> 00:33:17,130
♪
500
00:33:20,049 --> 00:33:21,109
Tyler?
501
00:33:23,190 --> 00:33:25,200
Why are there no photos of us?
502
00:33:25,220 --> 00:33:27,200
(lights click off)
503
00:33:27,220 --> 00:33:30,200
♪
504
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:40,069
Because whoever I was
talking to didn't exist.
505
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:46,220
♪
506
00:33:52,170 --> 00:33:54,000
Tyler?
507
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:58,190
Tyler:
Jules, it's okay.
508
00:33:58,210 --> 00:34:00,089
Come here.
509
00:34:03,049 --> 00:34:06,000
Jules:
How could none of it
have been real?
510
00:34:11,059 --> 00:34:13,079
It felt so real.
511
00:34:18,179 --> 00:34:20,210
I wish I never met him.
512
00:34:25,050 --> 00:34:27,150
I'm still in love with Tyler.
513
00:34:30,030 --> 00:34:33,019
And I don't know
when that's gonna change.
(sniffles)
514
00:34:33,039 --> 00:34:36,119
♪
515
00:34:47,090 --> 00:34:49,059
(music intensifies)
516
00:34:49,079 --> 00:34:51,010
(breathing heavily)
517
00:34:55,050 --> 00:34:58,010
(moaning, kissing)
518
00:34:59,199 --> 00:35:02,170
(Jules panting)
519
00:35:20,159 --> 00:35:22,190
(frantic kissing)
520
00:35:26,090 --> 00:35:28,219
Jules:
Rue...
521
00:35:35,079 --> 00:35:38,170
♪
522
00:35:38,190 --> 00:35:40,090
(breathing heavily)
523
00:35:40,110 --> 00:35:43,030
(male operatic singer continues)
524
00:35:43,050 --> 00:35:45,070
♪
525
00:36:00,070 --> 00:36:01,190
(grunts)
526
00:36:03,099 --> 00:36:04,199
(exhales)
527
00:36:07,179 --> 00:36:09,050
-Don't look at my face.
-(gasps)
528
00:36:09,070 --> 00:36:10,230
(Jules cries)
529
00:36:12,210 --> 00:36:14,110
(thuds)
530
00:36:17,019 --> 00:36:18,090
Rue.
531
00:36:20,219 --> 00:36:22,010
Rue.
532
00:36:24,099 --> 00:36:25,210
(shoes clack on floor)
533
00:36:25,230 --> 00:36:27,130
Rue.
534
00:36:27,150 --> 00:36:29,119
Guess what?
535
00:36:29,139 --> 00:36:30,230
Rue!
536
00:36:34,110 --> 00:36:35,179
Rue?
537
00:36:36,190 --> 00:36:38,130
(lock clicks)
538
00:36:43,019 --> 00:36:44,070
Rue!
539
00:36:44,090 --> 00:36:47,159
Maybe it's 'cause of, like,
everything with my mom.
540
00:36:47,179 --> 00:36:50,010
But I just had this, like,
541
00:36:50,030 --> 00:36:53,050
really bad nightmare about...
542
00:36:53,070 --> 00:36:55,219
living in New York City
with Rue.
543
00:36:57,219 --> 00:37:00,210
When I got home, uh...
544
00:37:00,230 --> 00:37:03,130
she was in the bathroom.
545
00:37:03,150 --> 00:37:06,090
-(door rattling)
-Rue?
546
00:37:06,110 --> 00:37:08,199
Can you please answer me?
547
00:37:08,219 --> 00:37:11,190
But, like, she had locked it
from the inside.
548
00:37:13,170 --> 00:37:15,139
Rue, please!
549
00:37:17,199 --> 00:37:20,070
(pounding)
550
00:37:20,090 --> 00:37:22,130
Rue, open the door!
551
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:26,059
Then, like,
552
00:37:26,079 --> 00:37:28,099
by the time I opened the door...
553
00:37:35,219 --> 00:37:38,190
I can't, like, say it out loud.
554
00:37:38,210 --> 00:37:41,199
(screaming):
Rue! Rue!
555
00:37:41,219 --> 00:37:43,210
-(loud pounding)
-Rue!
556
00:37:43,230 --> 00:37:46,079
Come on--
(frustrated whimpering)
557
00:37:47,039 --> 00:37:49,199
(sobbing)
558
00:37:49,219 --> 00:37:51,059
Rue!
559
00:37:54,099 --> 00:37:56,059
Rue! Open the--
560
00:37:56,079 --> 00:37:58,150
-(banging)
-(exclaims)
561
00:37:58,170 --> 00:37:59,170
(door rattling)
562
00:37:59,190 --> 00:38:02,159
(screaming):
Don't fucking do this to me!
563
00:38:03,170 --> 00:38:04,210
(sniffles)
564
00:38:04,230 --> 00:38:06,119
-(yells)
-(thuds)
565
00:38:08,050 --> 00:38:09,110
(door shuts)
566
00:38:12,159 --> 00:38:14,050
Hi, Jules.
567
00:38:14,199 --> 00:38:16,090
Hey.
568
00:38:16,110 --> 00:38:18,019
You look really pretty.
569
00:38:19,099 --> 00:38:21,039
I wanted to say hi, and--
570
00:38:21,059 --> 00:38:23,150
(footsteps thudding)
571
00:38:25,099 --> 00:38:27,179
(indistinct whispering)
572
00:38:27,199 --> 00:38:29,150
It's okay. Hang tight.
573
00:38:33,039 --> 00:38:34,099
(door slams)
574
00:38:43,219 --> 00:38:45,159
(door closes)
575
00:38:45,179 --> 00:38:48,230
Jules:
How could you just, like,
fucking ambush me like that?
576
00:38:50,019 --> 00:38:52,070
How could you fucking
do this to me?
577
00:38:52,090 --> 00:38:55,039
Like, why didn't we
talk about this?
578
00:38:55,059 --> 00:38:57,210
David:
Because I knew that
you wouldn't give her a chance.
579
00:38:58,119 --> 00:38:59,179
Yeah.
580
00:38:59,199 --> 00:39:01,219
Yeah, there's a reason.
581
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,099
Like, I can't handle this
right now.
582
00:39:04,119 --> 00:39:08,210
I wouldn't have done this
if I didn't think you could
handle it.
583
00:39:08,230 --> 00:39:13,099
Jules:
What? So, like,
it's for my own good?
584
00:39:13,119 --> 00:39:16,079
Jules, she's been clean.
She's doing really well.
585
00:39:16,099 --> 00:39:18,159
All she wants
as part of her recovery
586
00:39:18,179 --> 00:39:20,119
is to make amends.
587
00:39:21,179 --> 00:39:23,010
Wait, what?
588
00:39:24,110 --> 00:39:26,130
David:
She wants to apologize.
589
00:39:28,190 --> 00:39:30,199
You have to be
fucking kidding me.
590
00:39:32,090 --> 00:39:34,179
She wants my forgiveness?
591
00:39:35,199 --> 00:39:37,119
My forgiveness?
592
00:39:37,139 --> 00:39:40,010
So that, what,
she doesn't, like, fucking
593
00:39:40,030 --> 00:39:42,099
drink herself to death
because she's so guilty?
594
00:39:42,119 --> 00:39:44,219
David:
Don't be fucking cruel!
595
00:39:46,190 --> 00:39:49,019
-Jules: I don't care!
-David: Yeah. You do.
596
00:39:49,039 --> 00:39:52,230
Jules:
I swear to God, Dad,
I don't fucking care!
597
00:39:58,079 --> 00:40:00,110
(exhales)
598
00:40:00,130 --> 00:40:02,019
David:
Okay. Fine.
599
00:40:02,039 --> 00:40:04,039
If you really don't care,
600
00:40:04,059 --> 00:40:06,230
and this really means
nothing to you,
601
00:40:07,010 --> 00:40:09,179
then just go downstairs
602
00:40:09,199 --> 00:40:11,199
and let her apologize.
603
00:40:16,179 --> 00:40:18,119
Even if it's not real?
604
00:40:20,199 --> 00:40:22,159
Even if it's not real.
605
00:40:25,119 --> 00:40:27,050
♪
606
00:40:27,070 --> 00:40:28,119
Okay.
607
00:40:28,139 --> 00:40:30,039
Okay. Fine.
608
00:40:30,059 --> 00:40:32,139
(footsteps departing)
609
00:40:33,119 --> 00:40:35,039
(door opens)
610
00:40:35,059 --> 00:40:36,159
(sighs)
611
00:40:51,159 --> 00:40:53,070
(scoffs)
612
00:40:55,150 --> 00:40:57,150
(frustrated sigh)
613
00:40:57,170 --> 00:40:59,099
(door opens)
614
00:41:01,059 --> 00:41:02,090
(door slams)
615
00:41:07,230 --> 00:41:09,039
(door opens)
616
00:41:11,150 --> 00:41:13,030
(door slams)
617
00:41:13,170 --> 00:41:15,000
Jules.
618
00:41:17,070 --> 00:41:18,179
(loud clap)
619
00:41:22,150 --> 00:41:24,090
It was a week later.
620
00:41:24,110 --> 00:41:26,030
On Halloween.
621
00:41:26,219 --> 00:41:28,210
David:
Uh, well, yeah.
622
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,030
How long was she missing for?
623
00:41:33,139 --> 00:41:37,219
Jesus Christ. And,
and you found bottles
in the room?
624
00:41:39,059 --> 00:41:40,230
Oh, God...
625
00:41:42,179 --> 00:41:45,139
How, how long does the hospital
want to keep her?
626
00:41:45,159 --> 00:41:48,119
♪
627
00:41:50,159 --> 00:41:52,119
Jules...
628
00:41:52,139 --> 00:41:54,219
-(knocking at door)
-Uh, that's Rue.
629
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:56,219
Hey. Jules.
630
00:41:58,170 --> 00:42:01,019
-(banging on door)
-David: Jules, open up.
631
00:42:01,039 --> 00:42:02,119
You gotta come home, Jules.
632
00:42:02,139 --> 00:42:04,039
I can't come back.
633
00:42:04,059 --> 00:42:07,050
David:
You're 17, you know.
You cannot live alone.
634
00:42:07,070 --> 00:42:10,039
This is not real life, Jules!
635
00:42:10,059 --> 00:42:12,210
I can't, I can't go back
to East Highland.
636
00:42:12,230 --> 00:42:16,000
-(door rattling)
-David: Open the door.
637
00:42:16,019 --> 00:42:17,090
You're coming home.
638
00:42:17,110 --> 00:42:19,050
I'm not leaving here
without you!
639
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:21,130
I don't belong there.
640
00:42:21,150 --> 00:42:24,050
-(door rattling)
-Jules, I'm begging you.
641
00:42:26,059 --> 00:42:27,190
♪
642
00:42:27,210 --> 00:42:29,090
Open the door!
643
00:42:31,210 --> 00:42:33,090
(exhales)
644
00:42:48,210 --> 00:42:51,090
(water dripping)
645
00:42:59,130 --> 00:43:02,090
Therapist:
Okay, well, that's all the time
we have for this week.
646
00:43:02,110 --> 00:43:05,219
Sorry if that was a lot.
647
00:43:06,010 --> 00:43:08,210
I'm the one person you
never have to apologize to.
648
00:43:10,139 --> 00:43:12,000
Thanks.
649
00:43:12,019 --> 00:43:13,219
Therapist:
I know this is our
first session,
650
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,090
and I know you
didn't want to come,
but I'm glad you did.
651
00:43:16,110 --> 00:43:18,010
I hope you are, too.
652
00:43:20,019 --> 00:43:24,019
Okay, so, just be patient
with yourself.
653
00:43:26,039 --> 00:43:27,210
And have a wonderful New Year.
654
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:31,030
Merry Christmas.
(sniffles)
655
00:43:31,050 --> 00:43:32,170
I'm Jewish.
656
00:43:32,190 --> 00:43:35,070
Oh, uh, sorry.
(chuckles)
657
00:43:35,090 --> 00:43:36,199
Don't be.
658
00:43:36,219 --> 00:43:38,219
It's a way better holiday.
659
00:43:40,010 --> 00:43:41,159
(sniffles)
660
00:43:41,179 --> 00:43:43,039
Okay.
661
00:43:44,050 --> 00:43:47,199
♪ So take me home ♪
662
00:43:47,219 --> 00:43:50,070
♪ Love me low ♪
663
00:43:51,170 --> 00:43:53,150
(knocking on door)
664
00:43:53,170 --> 00:43:56,039
-Rue: Jules?
-Rue?
665
00:43:57,230 --> 00:44:01,219
♪ And I just
want to be with ♪
666
00:44:02,150 --> 00:44:03,210
Jules: Hi.
667
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,090
-(door closes)
-♪ I love you ♪
668
00:44:07,110 --> 00:44:12,150
♪ You don't even know
I'm gonna miss you ♪
669
00:44:12,170 --> 00:44:14,019
I, um...
670
00:44:15,079 --> 00:44:17,119
Uh, I was just...
671
00:44:17,139 --> 00:44:19,159
riding my bike, um,
672
00:44:19,179 --> 00:44:20,199
to go meet Ali,
673
00:44:20,219 --> 00:44:23,039
and I passed your house.
674
00:44:24,190 --> 00:44:26,130
And I...
675
00:44:26,150 --> 00:44:29,219
I don't know. I--
It's Christmastime,
so...
676
00:44:31,059 --> 00:44:35,170
I just...
Your, your dad let me in.
677
00:44:35,190 --> 00:44:39,090
Uh, uh, yeah.
He's really mad at me.
678
00:44:39,110 --> 00:44:43,019
Um, I'm grounded.
(chuckles)
679
00:44:43,039 --> 00:44:46,050
And, uh, in therapy.
So, um...
680
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:49,219
Uh...
681
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:52,119
(thunder rumbling,
rain pattering)
682
00:44:53,099 --> 00:44:55,010
I really missed you.
683
00:45:00,110 --> 00:45:02,050
Missed you, too.
684
00:45:04,090 --> 00:45:05,190
Um...
685
00:45:08,190 --> 00:45:11,050
Um, and I'm really
sorry about, like,
686
00:45:11,070 --> 00:45:14,110
everything that happened
at the train station,
687
00:45:14,130 --> 00:45:16,150
and leaving and stuff.
Um...
688
00:45:19,070 --> 00:45:21,050
(sobs)
689
00:45:21,070 --> 00:45:23,010
It was really fucking stupid.
690
00:45:23,030 --> 00:45:25,079
Ah, fuck.
I don't know why I'm crying.
691
00:45:25,099 --> 00:45:30,010
I just get really emotional
during the holidays, that's all.
692
00:45:30,030 --> 00:45:33,099
-It's okay. Um...
-Rue: Um...
693
00:45:33,119 --> 00:45:36,090
Yeah, Merry Christmas, Jules.
(inhales)
694
00:45:39,210 --> 00:45:41,059
(door slams)
695
00:45:47,099 --> 00:45:50,019
(rain falling)
696
00:45:50,039 --> 00:45:53,010
(sobbing)
697
00:45:56,090 --> 00:45:59,119
(solo flute plays)
698
00:45:59,139 --> 00:46:01,079
(thunder rumbles)
699
00:46:52,190 --> 00:46:55,190
(light classical flute plays)
700
00:46:55,210 --> 00:46:57,219
♪
48367
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Oromo
Pashto
Persian
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkmen
Uighur
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Welsh
Wolof