Original subtitles

[WHISTLING] ED!

[WHISTLING] ED!

EDD!

EDDY!

BRRR, YEAH!

SWIMMING CLASS CERTAINLY IS AN INVIGORATING WAY

TO START THE DAY.

DON'T YOU AGREE, EDDY?

[SNORING] AAH!

THE DAM'S BURST!

MAN THE LIFEBOAT!

WOMEN AND ME FIRST!

THIS EARLY MORNING STUFF'S KILLING ME.

HEY, WATCH IT, AHAB!

I'M TRYING TO CATCH A FEW WINKS HERE.

ED, IS THAT GRAVY YOU'RE CONSUMING?

[WHISTLE] MY TURN!

[WHISTLE] MY TURN!

OH, SILLY ME.

I DROPPED MY READY INSTANT GRAVY MIX.

GOOD THING IT DIDN'T OPEN UP, HUH, GUYS?

ED, YOU'VE CONTAMINATED THE POOL WITH A THICKENED

GELATO OF MEAT DRIPPINGS.

THERE'S PLENTY FOR EVERYONE.

WHO NEEDS A LADLE?

OH, MAN, I THINK I LEFT THAT ON THE BUS.

[MUTTERING] I'VE GOT GRAVY IN MY EAR.

GREAT!

SO I END UP WITH A DETENTION BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID

EATING HABITS.

IS IT THAT TIME ALREADY?

OOH, GRAVY CAKES.

YUM.

[CHEWING] EXCUSE ME, ED,

BUT DON'T YOU FEEL THIS DAILY DIET OF GRAVY

MAY BECOME DETRIMENTAL TO YOUR HEALTH?

[ENGINE SPUTTERS AND STARTS] I SWEAR HE'S OBSESSED

WITH THE STUFF.

IT'S STASHED HERE.

HIDES IT THERE.

I BET YOU COULDN'T GO A LOUSY DAY WITHOUT

YOUR LOUSY GRAVY, ED.

SAYS YOU.

SO PROVE IT!

AAH!

YOUR VOICE IS LIKE TOOTHPICKS IN MY DRUMSTICKS, EDDY!

I AGREE, ED.

I'VE ALWAYS WISHED EDDY COULD COMMUNICATE WITH

A TONE OF VOICE THAT DIDN'T RATTLE THE TIMBERS OF EVERY

HOUSE IN A 4 BLOCK VICINITY.

DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL, KIDS.

WHAT ABOUT YOU, MR. ENCYCLOPEDIAC?

I BET I COULD STOP YELLING WAY BEFORE YOU COULD STOP

USING THOSE BIG, FANCY SCHMANCY WORDS OF YOURS.

PLANK SAYS DOUBLE D WOULD GO WACKY IF HE ONLY USED

WORDS WITH ONE SYLLABLE.

HA!

EVEN THE DOORSTOP'S GOT YOU PEGGED.

AW, DORK, DORK, AND DORKY ARE HAVING A LITTLE TIFF.

AIN'T IT PRECIOUS?

[LAUGHING] WHAT DORKS.

ALWAYS WITH THIS DUCK WORD, YES, KEVIN BOY?

ROLF WOULD WAGER HIS LOVE OF MAMMAL FLESH AND 25 CENTS

THAT YOU CANNOT RENOUNCE THIS LABEL FOR THE MIXED NUTS

ED BOYS.

25 CENTS?

WHAT?

I CAN GIVE UP SAYING DORK JUST LIKE THAT.

THINK YOU COULD GO A WHOLE DAY WITHOUT THAT CHUNK

OF TERMITE FOOD TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO?

EASY PEASY LEMON SQUEEZEY, EDDY.

RIGHT, PLANK?

SOUNDS LIKE WE GOT OURSELVES A BET.

SO WHAT DO YOU SAY, BOYS?

YOU IN OR WHAT?

I'M IN.

ROLF WILL PARTAKE.

THIS IS GONNA BE A HOOT.

NO GRAVY OR BUST.

VERY WELL THEN.

I WELCOME THE CHALLENGE TO MY VAST RESOURCE OF

THE ENGLISH WORD.

YO, NAZZ.

WANT IN ON THIS ACTION?

AS IF.

THEN MAY THE BEST...AHEM...

GENTLEMAN WIN.

[BELL RINGS] [GRUNTS]

WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, FISH FACE!

HI-LO!

AHEM.

NICE TRY, WINDBAG.

JEEPERS, SARAH.

WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

JIMMY!

QUICK!

TELL ME TO DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING!

OH, OK.

UM, DO MY MATH HOMEWORK FOR ME.

[MONKEY CHATTERING] I'M MY OWN PERSON, PLANK.

[MONKEY CHATTERING] I'M MY OWN PERSON, PLANK.

[MONKEY CHATTERING] I'M MY OWN PERSON, PLANK.

CHECK IT OUT, SHAKESPEARE.

WITHOUT PLANK, GNOME-HEAD'S FALLING APART, BEGGING

TO GET BOSSED AROUND.

READY TO CHICKEN OUT?

[CHICKEN SQUAWKS] NO. NOT AT ALL.

IT IS...FUN...

TO...

SPEAK IN SMALL WORDS ALL DAY.

NOT HARD ONE BIT.

[HORN HONKS] [HORSE WHINNIES]

DOUBLE D...

HOW MUCH LONGER?

MUST ME EAT GRAVY.

AND BE AS ONE.

OH, THE SUFFERING!

[CHUCKLING] [BELL RINGS]

[CHUCKLING] [BELL RINGS]

KNOCK IT OFF, YA...!

UM, YOU KNOW.

[HORSE WHINNIES] DON'T, UM...PUSH, ED-DY.

YOU ARE NOT...OH...FAIR.

HERE YOU GO, EDDY.

[ROOSTER CROWS] WASHED, DARNED, AND STATIC-FREE.

I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU.

TABLE KIND OF TASTES LIKE GRAVY.

FORGET THE GRAVY, ED.

HERE.

GNAW ON THIS.

MASHED POTATOES.

NO GRAVY?

NICE CATCH, YA...

DORK!

DORK, DORK.

DORKY, DORKY, DORK!

[BONES CRACKING] MAN, THAT FELT GOOD.

MUST FOLD SOCKS.

LET'S SEE HERE.

CONSCIENT-IOUS?

WHAT KIND OF BUNK WORD IS THAT?

OH, HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.

TEMPER-A-MENTAL.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT THAT'S JUST PLAIN STUPID.

STOP!

I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR SINGLE-HANDED ANNIHILATION

OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE FOR YOUR OWN MONETARY GAIN, EDDY.

THINK, JONNY, THINK.

JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

WHAT'S THAT, PLANK?

YOU WANT ME TO WHAT?

MOVE ALL YOUR STUFF TO MY HOUSE?

YOU WANT TO BOSS ME AROUND INSTEAD

AND HANG OUT WITH SOMEONE WITH A NORMAL-SIZED HEAD?

YOU'RE A RIOT, PAL O' MINE.

NOBODY TAKES ORDERS FROM THIS CHUNK OF TERMITE FOOD

EXCEPT ME!

NUTS TO YOUR STUPID BET, HOME WRECKER.

THANK YOU, JONNY THE WOOD BOY.

ROLF COULD NOT FIND THE STRENGTH TO OPEN THE DOOR.

GRAVY?

I'VE GOT LOVE IN MY TUMMY, SARAH.

ME, TOO, JIMMY.

MMM! MEATY.

[PIG SNORTING] YEP. REAL MEATY MEAT.

THE GAMES HAVE ENDED.

ROLF CAN NO LONGER RESIST THE SWEET FLESH DRAPED IN FAT

LIKE PAPA'S THERAPEUTIC TRUSS.

IT IS YOU!

COME TO ED.

BELLY MISSES YOU.

ED, STOP!

YOU AND EDDY ARE THE ONLY ONES LEFT IN THE BET.

[BURPS] I WIN!

HA HA HA!

AM I LOUD ENOUGH FOR YOU, DOUBLE D?

HOW ABOUT NOW?!

NO?!

HOW ABOUT NOW?!

UH-OH.

BUTTERSCOTCH.

BUTTER-WHAT?

OH, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT.

IT'S FUN WITH BUTTERSCOTCH PUDDING TUESDAY TODAY.

IT'S NOT GRAVY AFTER ALL.

NOT GRAVY?

[CHICKEN SQUAWKS] $1.25 EXACTLY.

CONGRATULATIONS.

I DO HOPE THIS EASES THE DISCOMFORT A TAD.

WHO WOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU WERE ALLERGIC TO BUTTERSCOTCH

PUDDING?

NOT ME, DOUBLE D.

WHAT'S BLOAT HEAD GONNA DO WITH THAT CASH?

SEE?

A GRAVY CATALOGUE.

THERE'S MEXICAN HOT TAMALE GRAVY AND SCOTTISH HAGGIS GRAVY.

SWISS CHEESE CHICKEN GRAVY.

YUM.

OH, COME ON!

YOU'RE GONNA SPEND THE MONEY ON MORE GRAVY?

IRONY, EDDY.

LOOK THAT UP IN THE DICTIONARY.

OH, YEAH?

WELL, LOOKIE HERE.

I GOT ME SOME BUTTERSCOTCH PUDDING WITH ED'S NAME ON IT.

HOW'S THAT FOR IRONING?

HA!

HA!

[CAT SCREECHES] JUST A DASH OF HAUTE COUTURE

FOR MY SCHOOL PORTRAIT, SARAH.

EW!

OH, GROSS!

WOW, PLANK, YOU AND JIMMY ORDERED CLOTHES FROM

THE SAME CATALOGUE.

HOW COOL IS THAT?

I'M SO GENERIC.

AAH!

[HORSE WHINNIES] NAW, TOO GAME SHOW HOST.

OFF MODEL.

[BURPS] DID YOU FORGET TO BRUSH

YOUR TEETH, EDDY?

PERPETUATING OUR VANITY, ARE WE?

WE'RE PRACTICING FOR MY SCHOOL PHOTO, SOCK HEAD.

[SHEEP BLEATS] I'M SO PRETTY.

OH, SO PRETTY.

DON'T YOU THINK YOUR PARENTS WILL BE A TAD UPSET WITH

A PHOTO OF YOU WITH A SNAIL ON YOUR HEAD?

YOU'RE AN IDIOT, ED.

GUESS WHO'S GETTING TO MOVE INTO HIS BIG BROTHER'S COOL

BEDROOM?

HERE'S A HINT: ME!

I WON!

REALLY?

REALLY.

I'M IN LIKE FLINT, SOCK HEAD.

MY MOM JUST WALKED UP TO ME AND DANGLED HIS KEY

RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.

SO I LOOKED AT HER LIKE, "HUH?" AND THEN SHE'S ALL LIKE,

"YOU CAN MOVE INTO YOUR BROTHER'S OLD BEDROOM

IF THIS YEAR'S SCHOOL PHOTO IS NICE FOR ONCE, EDDY."

A PERFECT PICTURE AND NO MORE BABY BROTHER EDDY.

WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, EDDY.

IT SEEMS YOUR PARENTS HAVE FINALLY RECOGNIZED HOW YOU'VE

GROWN SINCE YOUR BROTHER'S DEPARTURE.

OOH!

WHOA!

MAKE SURE YOU GET MY GOOD SIDE, BOZO!

I GUESS THAT RULES OUT HER FACE THEN.

OH! THIS STUPID DRESS IS GIVING ME A RASH.

ROLF IS READY TO HAVE HIS SOUL PILFERED FROM HIS

VERY EYES, YES?

THANK YOU, YES.

OOH!

OHH!

WHAT A JOY IT WOULD BE TO CAPTURE SUCH BEAUTY

WITH MY HUMBLE CAMERA.

MAKE IT QUICK, CUE BALL.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU THINK YOU BLINKED?

TIME TO SCORE MY BRO'S SWEET PAD.

TIME TO SCORE MY BRO'S SWEET PAD.

[DRUM ROLL] DORK.

[BELL RINGS] I CAN'T GIVE THIS

TO MY MOM.

I LOOK LIKE I'M GETTING MY TEMPERATURE TAKEN.

SURELY IT'S NOT THAT BAD, EDDY.

ISN'T YOUR MOTHER FAR-SIGHTED?

AW, YOU LOOK LIKE AN ONION.

MOMS LOVE ONIONS.

OH, I'LL GIVE YOU AN ONION.

I WAS SO CLOSE.

I COULD ALMOST SMELL MY BROTHER'S STUFFED CAMEL.

[FOOTSTEPS] GROAN.

[CHICKEN SQUAWKS] THE TEACHER'S WATCHING US,

EDDY.

[PLAYING OFF-KEY] YOU KNOW, EDDY.

I AM IN THE PHOTOGRAPHY CLUB.

I'LL JUST RETAKE YOUR PHOTO DURING LUNCH.

METRONOME TICKING] I LIKE THAT.

IT'LL BE LIKE THIS BUM PHOTO NEVER EXISTED.

HEY, CHARLIE THE BIRDBRAIN PARKER, EAT THIS.

THANKS, EDDY.

[HORSE WHINNIES] PSST!

[HORSE WHINNIES] PSST!

GET A LOAD OF PRUNE FACE.

ROLF HAS SEEN PRUNIER.

[BELL RINGS] OH, LOOK.

PERHAPS A NOTICE FROM OUR ESTEEMED SCHOOL FACULTY.

OHH!

AIN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING MY PHOTO?

MY PHOTO!

HUH?

THEY'RE ALL OVER THE...

[BELL RINGS] AAH!

HA HA HA HA!

IT'S A MIRACLE, YES.

FINALLY SOME ED BOYS MERCHANDISE.

IF THAT AIN'T A FASHION STATEMENT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.

SAY SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT MY BINDER, KEV.

HEE HEE HEE!

UM...

I KNEW IT.

[HORSE WHINNIES] EDDY, WAIT.

PERHAPS WE SHOULD-- WE GOT TO DITCH THESE PRONTO.

WARN THOSE FINE LITTLE MEN.

NO, WAIT.

IT'S HORACE.

IN HERE, EDD.

I THINK I HAVE A PAPER CUT.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.

BUT THAT PHOTO COPIER'S SCHOOL PROPERTY.

STUDENTS USE THAT.

IF THAT PHOTO EVER GETS OUT FOR MY MOM TO SEE, I CAN

KISS MY BROTHER'S ROOM GOOD-BYE.

I BETCHA THERE'S MORE.

IT'S A NIGHTMARE, I TELL YA.

[LAUGHING] MMWA!

STOP KISSING YOURSELF.

MMWA!

STOP KISSING YOURSELF.

MMWA!

STOP KISSING YOURSELF.

MMWA!

STOP KISSING YOURSELF.

[LAUGHING] HELP ME!

[BIRD CAWS] I THINK WE MAY BE ABLE

TO SAVE EDDY'S PROVERBIAL BACON YET.

AHEM.

GOOD AFTERNOON, STUDENTS OF PEACH CREEK JUNIOR HIGH.

THIS IS YOUR PRINCIPAL SPEAKING WITH A VERY IMPORTANT, UM,

ANNOUNCEMENT.

VERY GOOD.

AHEM.

ALL COPIES OF STUDENT EDDY'S SCHOOL PHOTOGRAPH ARE TO BE

RETURNED TO HIM IMMEDIATELY.

FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL WARRANT DETENTION FOR EVERYONE

FOR THE REST OF THE SEMESTER.

THANK YOU.

BUMMER.

YOU HEARD THE MAN.

AHH.

DID I JUST DO THAT?

I DID, DIDN'T I?

I JUST IMPERSONATED THE PRINCIPAL.

MADE FALSE DECLARATIONS IN HIS NAME.

OH, WHAT HAVE I DONE?

WHOO HOO!

GET THIS, GUYS.

THE PRINCIPAL JUST MADE EVERYBODY GIVE BACK

ALL THE COPIES OF MY BUM PHOTO.

ME!

WHAT A SAP!

PUT YOUR HELMET NEWTON ON, SOCK HEAD.

WE GOT A PICTURE TO TAKE.

MY BROTHER'S ROOM IS IN THE BAG.

NOT IN THE HOUSE, EDDY?

DRATS!

DUE TO YESTERDAY'S PHOTOGRAPHY ASSIGNMENT, I'M AFRAID I ONLY

HAVE ONE LAST EXPOSURE ON THIS FILM.

WHATEVER.

ONE-SHOT EDDY'S MY MIDDLE NAME.

MAKE-UP!

HOW VERY HELPFUL, ED.

OW.

READY ON 3.

1...

2...

3.

OOPS! FORGOT ONE.

HA HA HA!

HE DID IT AGAIN, DOUBLE D!

[COPIER HUMMING] LOOK, DOUBLE D.

[COPIER HUMMING] LOOK, DOUBLE D.

A PICTURE FOR EDDY. SEE?

HE'S GETTING THE KEY TO HIS BROTHER'S ROOM,

AND IT'S MADE OF POTATO SALAD.

AW, ED.

WHAT A LOVELY GESTURE.

ALTHOUGH, MAYBE YOU SHOULD GIVE IT TO HIM WHEN HE'S NOT

SO UPSET.

TALK ABOUT ADDING INSECTS TO INJURY.

TWO HOURS OF STINKING CLEAN-UP.

PLUS A WEEK'S WORTH OF DETENTION FOR IMPERSONATING THE PRINCIPAL.

I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER DOING THAT.

REALLY?

A WHOLE WEEK?

GRACIOUS.

UM...

ED HAS SOMETHING FOR YOU, EDDY.

DO I EVER.

IT'S A KEY.

HEY!

I AIN'T PULLING A STUPID FACE IN THIS PICTURE.

THIS'LL WORK FOR MY SCHOOL PHOTO.

BIG BRO'S ROOM, HERE I COME!

I'M FLABBERGASTED, ED.

HE SERIOUSLY THINKS HE CAN APPEASE HIS MOTHER WITH

A CRAYON DRAWING IN LIEU OF A SCHOOL PHOTO.

I MEAN, THE LINES ARE ALL WIGGLY.

CAN I DRAW YOUR SCHOOL PHOTO, DOUBLE D?

THANK YOU, ED, BUT I'M...

MAKE-UP!

NO, WAIT.

SELF-PORTRAIT.

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--]