Original subtitles

HURRY, KEVIN!

COME QUICK!

IT'S BEGINNING!

SO, ROLF, THIS BEAUTY PAGEANT THING--HOT BABES, RIGHT?

NO BABIES, KEVIN.

THIS IS A BIG TO-DO IN ROLF'S HOMELAND.

THE MISS ARDUOUS FIELD-WORKER PAGEANT!

FIELD WORKER?

ONLY ROLF MAY WEAR THE FIST OF PAGEANTRY.

LOOK, KEVIN.

HAVE YOU SEEN GRETCHEN?

SHE'S MUCH FAVORED IN THE CALLUS TOSS.

CALLUS TOSS?

AGAIN?!

WHY DO YOU ANSWER ROLF WITH QUESTIONS?

DO YOU HAVE POTATOES IN YOUR EARS?

SEEN IT.

SEEN IT.

SEEN IT.

SEEN IT.

SEEN IT.

JEEZ, EDD.

YOU GOT ANY REAL MAGAZINES WITH SOME REAL PICTURES?

SEEN IT!

YOU KNOW, EDDY, WHEN I AGREED TO THIS HOME-STUDY GROUP, IT

WAS WITH THE UNDERSTANDING THAT EVERYONE WOULD DO THEIR FAIR

SHARE.

IF ME AND ED DID ANY WORK, YOU'D BE KISSING THAT GRADE

AVERAGE GOOD-BYE.

SEEN IT!

WHY ME?

HEY!

WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHT?

SEEN IT.

IT SEEMS THE ENTIRE CUL-DE-SAC IS WITHOUT LIGHT.

IT'S A POWER OUTAGE, EDDY.

WHAT'S THAT?

[CAT SCREECHES] SOMEONE TAKING A PROACTIVE

APPROACH, I ASSUME.

WHERE YOU GOING?

DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!

SEEN IT!

SEEN IT.

DIDN'T SEE THAT.

GOOD EVENING, NAZZ.

LIKE, WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT IT?

THERE'S NO ELECTRICITY, DOUBLE D.

[MUMBLING] NOTHING TO FEAR.

JUST THE RESULT OF A SUDDEN POWER SURGE, I SUSPECT.

ED, YOU IDIOT!

WORKING ON IT, EDDY!

OH, BRAIN FOOD.

IS THIS A JOKE?

YEAH, 'CAUSE I AIN'T LAUGHING.

THE CALM OF DARKNESS SCARES ME, SARAH.

I'M SCARED, TOO, JIMMY.

UH, SO WHOSE HOUSE ARE WE ALL SLEEPING AT?

PEOPLE, PLEASE.

STAY CALM.

THERE'S NOTHING TO FEAR.

ELECTRICAL GRID FAILURE...

FAILURES, OR BLACKOUTS, AS...

AS THEY'RE MORE COMMONLY KNOWN, ARE MORE OFTEN THAN NOT

TEMPORARY.

BLACKOUT?

OK.

SO, HOW ABOUT WE HOLD HANDS AND WHISTLE A SONG?

GANG-HO!

THIS IS THE WORK OF THE CANNIBAL UNDERGROUND MOLE MUTANTS!

THEY HAVE SUCKED THE SURFACE WORLD OF ITS POWER...

AND NOW WILL HUNT US DOWN FOR SUNDAY SUPPER.

ENCHANTING, ED, BUT DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE UNDERGROUND MOLE

MUTANTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?

WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

[SCREAMING] WE MUST USE THE DOOHICKEY OF

THE WHATCHAMACALLIT THAT CREATES LIGHT AND ENTERTAINMENT.

YOU MEAN, LIKE, A GENERATOR?

IS THIS A TEST?

[SCREAMING] HEY, WHERE'D KEV AND ROLF GO?

THEY WERE HERE A SECOND AGO.

FREEZE-DRIED AND MECHANICALLY DEBONED.

THEY ALWAYS CAPTURE THE STRONGEST FIRST.

I'M SCARED.

ROLF AND KEVIN WERE MERE APPETIZERS.

BUT I'M SO PETITE!

THEY'LL EAT ME LAST!

I'D BE THE RASPBERRY SWIRL PARFAIT!

[SOBBING] IT SAYS OVERRIPE BANANAS AND

DAY-OLD HOT-DOG BUNS WILL MAKE THEM GO BACK FROM WHENCE THEY

CAME.

OH, THIS LOOKS GOLD, DOUBLE D.

GOLD?

DON'T TELL ME YOU WOULD THINK OF FANNING THESE FLAMES OF PARANOID

FEAR, EDDY.

OK. I WON'T.

HA HA HA!

COME, KEVIN.

WE MUST POWER THE DOOJIGGER OF ENERGY IN THE WELL.

[GRUNTING] SO AS NOT TO DISTURB NANA.

RIGHT.

[OWL HOOTING] WHAT?

THAT LID.

PRY OPEN THE LID!

MUST I DO EVERYTHING?

OH, MAN!

GET A STICK, NINCOMPOOP.

THIS FIELD-WORKER THING'S GOT YOU TIED IN A KNOT.

STEP RIGHT UP AND GET YOUR MOLE MUTANT REPELLENT.

EDDY, PLEASE!

REFRAIN.

DESIST.

ONE-STOP SHOPPING FOR ALL YOUR CANNIBALISTIC MOLE MUTANT

NEEDS.

I'LL TAKE SOME BANANAS!

DAY-OLD HOT DOGS FOR ME!

OVER HERE, EDDY!

[YELLING] FOUND ONE.

[GRUNTING] MAKE HASTE, KEVIN...

AS ROLF DOES NOT WISH TO MISS THE TULIP COMPETITION OF THE

PAGEANT.

YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?

PUT THIS IN.

WATCH YOUR BACK.

DON'T DROP IT!

WHOA!

HOLY TOLEDO!

PLANK'S GONE!

THEY HAVE TAKEN PLANK FOR FIBER TO HELP WITH THEIR

IRREGULARITY!

A PORTAL.

THEY HAVE DRAGGED OUR COMRADES TO THEIR LAIR TO EAT!

BE SCARED.

[SCREAMING] ALL RIGHT.

I'VE HAD QUITE ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE.

MOLE MUTANTS, INDEED.

I SEE IT'S UP TO ME TO PROVE ONCE AND FOR ALL...

UM, EDDY?

DON'T BUG ME.

THAT THERE ARE NO MOLE MUTANTS, CANNIBALISTIC OR

OTHERWISE.

AAH!

PLANK?!

I BELIEVE THIS BELONGS TO YOU.

AND TO THINK YOU ALMOST BECAME MOLE LAXATIVE.

STOP, DOUBLE D!

THEY WILL DINE ON YOU WITH FAST-FOOD UTENSILS.

ED, HUSH.

DOUBLE D IS MAD.

[FAR-OFF VOICES] OH, I'M COVERED IN FILTH!

[FAR-OFF VOICES] OH, I'M COVERED IN FILTH!

I'M SOAKED!

HELP!

THEY GOT DOUBLE D!

[YELLING] WHAT'S THAT, BUDDY?

WHAT PLAN?

I'LL TELL 'EM, BUDDY.

HEY, EVERYBODY!

PLANK'S GOT A BRAINSTORM.

GIVE IT TO 'EM STRAIGHT, BUDDY.

HELP!

YO, WHAT WAS THAT?

ONLY ROLF LISTENS, YES?

HELLO?

COME AGAIN?

HURRY, PLEASE!

ASSISTANCE!

TURN AROUND, KEVIN!

MAKE LIKE THE WIND!

A DAMSEL IN NEED REQUESTS ROOM SERVICE!

IT'S SEEPING INTO MY SHOES!

EVERYBODY IN POSITION?

I GUESS SO.

READY!

DEATH TO THE MOLE MUTANTS!

I HOPE THAT HUNK OF WOOD KNOWS WHAT IT'S DOING.

PLANK SAYS ON THE COUNT OF 3 WE ALL FLUSH.

FLUSH LIKE YOU'VE NEVER FLUSHED BEFORE!

1...

2...

3!

FLUSH!

BLESS YOU, BLESS YOU, ROLF.

CURSE ED'S OVERACTIVE IMAGINATION.

HONESTLY, HE HAD EVERYONE CONVINCED THAT MOLE MUTANTS

SWARM-- KEV BOY! NO!

AY YI YI!

[KEVIN PANTING] LOOK WHAT YOU'RE DOING!

WE CAN LET POWER RISE ABOVE SAID BABY.

WE MUST HAVE GOOD ENOUGH!

GOT YOU.

DUDE.

DUCK.

YOU MEAN DUDE, MAN.

NO! ROLF MEANS-- IT'S WORKING, PLANK!

WHOO-HOO!

YEAH!

I GOT YOU, EDDY!

I GOT YOU!

WAIT.

ROLF FALLS FIRST.

ALL RIGHT.

WHO'S THE WISE GUY?

IT WAS PLANK'S IDEA!

♪ HE SAVED THE CUL-DE-SAC FROM THE MOLE MUTANTS ♪

HA! HE'S A HERO!

[CHEERING] BRAVO!

[CHEERING] LOOK AT ME! YAY!

CURLING TONGS, HERE I COME!

HERO, HERO...

NOW I CAN FINISH MY POTPOURRI, SARAH.

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE CHILL OVER THAT FIELD-WORKER PAGEANT THING,

ROLF?

ROLF PUSHES.

EDDY, LOOK.

DOUBLE D IS DOUBLE DONE FOR.

BUT IT'S THE END OF THE SHOW, ED.

I KNOW, EDDY.

I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I STILL GOT CASH, BUDDY BOY!

FOR ONCE IN MY STINKING LIFE, I'M IN THE BLACK!

CHA-CHING!

HA HA HA!

[ROAR] MOLE MUTANT!

MY MONEY.

ED...

RUN AWAY!

IT WILL EAT US!

LET ME OUT OF HERE!

I GOTTA GET MY MONEY!

LET'S FIGHT THIS ONE, EDDY!

LET ME OUT, OR I'LL-- CAN'T DO THAT, EDDY.

NOT WHILE ONE MOLE MUTANT WALKS THIS EARTH DROOLING FOR ITS NEXT

VICTIM.

[ROARING] IT HAS FOUND US, EDDY!

[GARGLING] MOLE MUTANT!

AH...AH...

CHOO!

BLESS ME.

IT'S JUST SOCKHEAD, STUPID.

DOUBLE D!

UNCHUCKED AND UNDIGESTED!

WE ARE AS ONCE TWICE AGAIN.

MY HAT, THANK YOU.

I'M GOING HOME NOW.

I HAVE A STRICT DECONTAMINATION REGIMEN TO IMPLEMENT.

OH, NO, YOU'RE NOT!

WE'RE GOING BACK INTO THAT SEWER TO GET MY CASH.

GOT IT?

NOT SO FAST, BUCKOS!

IT MAY BE DAYS BEFORE IT IS SAFE TO GO, UM...

OUTSIDE.

AS WE WILL BE THE LAST HUMANS ON EARTH LIVING ON GRUBS AND STALE

MARSHMALLOWS.

GIVE ME THAT STUPID THING!

RUN AWAY!

YOU BETTER RUN.

OH, FOR PETE'S SAKE.

BUT, EDDY, IT'S A COLLECTOR'S ISSUE!

YEAH?

WELL, COLLECT THIS!

HEY, WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHT?

[SNORING]

HEY, RIP VAN WINKLE!

GET CRACKING, BOY-O.

WE'RE LATE FOR SCHOOL.

AN EARLY BIRD CATCHES THE PEANUT, DOUBLE D.

SCHOOL?

I HATE TO BE THE BEARER OF BAD NEWS, GENTLEMEN, BUT TODAY'S

SATURDAY.

SATURDAY?!

ED, YOU DOLT!

YOU WOKE ME UP FOR SCHOOL ON A SATURDAY?

IT WASN'T MY FAULT, EDDY.

MY BELLY TOLD ME IT WAS BOTTOMLESS GRAVY DAY IN THE

CAFETERIA.

BAD BELLY.

BAD!

GRR!

YOUR HEAD'S BOTTOMLESS!

BELLY BAD, EDDY!

COME HERE, YOU LITTLE-- BELLY!

LOVABLE OAF.

OH, WELL.

BEST BEGIN MY DAY, I SUPPOSE.

[BEEPING] [HUMMING]

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST...

THE SHOWER.

OH, HOW I ADORE ITS SPRINKLING SPLENDOR, ITS CASCADING

CLEANSING, ITS STEAMY SERENADE.

AN IMPERATIVE STEP TO EACH AND EVERY DAY.

AAH!

MY BATHROOM!

DEMOLISHED!

DISMEMBERED!

DISINTEGRATED!

A STICKY NOTE.

"DEAR EDWARD, THE SHOWER IS OUT OF ORDER DUE TO RENOVATIONS.

HAVE A NICE DAY.

LOVE, MOTHER AND FATHER."

OH, DEAR!

SCRAM, ED!

NO LIE, EDDY!

IT WASN'T MY FAULT.

BEAT IT!

WEEKEND WRECKER.

OF ALL THE INCONSIDERATE-- WITHOUT EVEN A WORD, MOTHER AND

FATHER, IN ALL THEIR WISDOM, FELT IT NECESSARY TO RENOVATE

OUR BATHROOM.

I ASK YOU, DO I EVEN EXIST?

EDDY!

THE BELLY IS EVIL!

THE BELLY IS CRUEL!

[RINGING] EDDY, I KNOW THIS MAY BE

DIFFICULT, AND NORMALLY I WOULDN'T ASK THIS OF YOU, BUT

MAY I USE YOUR SHOWER?

I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF BRINGING MY OWN TOILETRIES.

MIND YOU, I WILL REQUIRE A CLEAN TOWEL, PREFERABLY COTTON, AS

POLYBLENDS IRRITATE MY SKIN.

HIT THE ROAD!

WINDBAG.

DID YOUR BELLY LIE, TOO, DOUBLE D?

NOT TO BE RUDE, ED, BUT I DESPERATELY NEED TO FIND A

SHOWER.

OH, MESSY, MESSY, MESSY.

EDDY!

OH, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

LE JIMMY'S BEE-YOOTY SALON?

HOW FORTUITOUS.

JIMMY'S A YOUNG MAN OF UPSTANDING HYGIENIC CALIBER.

[HUMMING] VOILA!

I FEEL WEIRD.

HMM.

WOWSERS!

THAT SURE LOOKS SNAZZY, JIMMY!

THAT'S LE JIMMY.

NOW SIT STILL.

YOU'RE RUINING MY VISION OF YOU.

WELCOME TO LE JIMMY'S, WHERE WE HAVE A COMB AND YOU DON'T.

WE HAVE DUCT-TAPE WAXING.

ONLY JIMMY'S SPECIALTY.

KETCHUP AND MUSTARD MANICURES AND SPAGHETTI RELAXATION BATHS.

ROCK AND ROLL, HUH, PLANK?

YES. WELL, THIS ALL SOUNDS VERY LUXURIOUS, SARAH, BUT ALL

I REQUIRE TODAY IS A SHOWER.

IS THAT RIGHT?

LE JIMMY HAS AN OPENING IN 3 WEEKS.

3 WEEKS?

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

I'M AFRAID YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I NEED A SHOWER IMMEDIATELY.

3 WEEKS, BUB!

TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT!

WELL, UM, OK.

THANK YOU, SARAH.

UM, YOU'VE CERTAINLY MADE YOUR POINT.

YES, INDEEDY.

UM, WITH THAT, I'LL BE SURE TO, UH, COOPERATE FULLY.

YES?

SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER!

HEY!

JIMMY, I BESEECH YOU.

PLEASE...

[COUGHING] A FAVOR.

ALL I ASK FOR IS A SHOWER.

FIND IT IN YOUR HEART, LAD.

AT THIS VERY MOMENT, THERE ARE MILLIONS OF DEAD SKIN CELLS

AMASSING UNDER THE THREADS OF MY ROBE!

GO AWAY.

STOP THAT!

PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

I LOVE MYSELF.

YOU ATTACKED SARAH IN COLD BLOOD.

DON'T HIT ME!

[WHIMPERING] IS LE JIMMY'S A SCREAM OR

WHAT?

JONNY, MAY I USE YOUR SHOWER?

NO.

THEY RUINED MY SALON, SARAH.

LOOK AT ME!

IS A SHOWER TOO MUCH TO ASK?

[GROWLING] YOU'RE ON, PLANK.

I'LL TAKE THE DIRTY KID FOR A QUARTER.

AAH!

ROLF.

FINALLY, SOMEONE WILL UNDERSTAND MY PLIGHT.

SOMEONE WHO CAN SYMPATHIZE WITH THE SOILED SUFFERING I'VE

ENDURED.

UM, ROLF.

EXCUSE ME.

A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME?

MAY I TROUBLE YOU FOR THE USE OF YOUR SHOWER SO I CAN START MY

DAY ON THE RIGHT FOOT?

ROLF!

OH, DEAR!

ROLF, STOP!

YEOW!

[SNIFFS] AH, TOO EARLY, YES?

THE FERMENTING HAS YET TO BEGIN.

[MOO] THE MILK OF HUMAN KINDNESS

HAS ABANDONED ME!

SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER.

SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER.

SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER.

SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER.

SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER.

SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER.

SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER!

GREETINGS, MICROORGANISMS.

HOP ABOARD.

WELCOME, BACTERIA.

OH, HAPPY DAY.

EDWARD!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

DIVE IN, OLD VISION OF MY FORMER SELF.

THERE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH FILTH TO GO AROUND.

I'LL HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR SELF-DEGRADATION, THANK

YOU, AS I STAND FOR CLEANLINESS, MORAL FIBER, AND ALL THAT IS

DECENT AND NEATLY FOLDED.

ZIPPITY DO DAH!

STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT!

GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF, MISTER.

THAT'S DISGUSTING!

MAY I USE YOUR SHOWER?

GOOD LORD.

STINKY, STINKY, STINKY.

NO SHOWER FOR ME!

[GRUNTING] HA HA HA!

FOR ME?

OH, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.

DOUBLE D, IS THAT YOU?

NO, NOT REALLY.

NO OFFENSE, DUDE, BUT YOU COULD REALLY USE A SHOWER.

LET'S GET YOU A WASHCLOTH, OK?

A S-SHOWER?

THE BATHROOM'S THROUGH HERE.

SEE?

A RADIANT ANGEL HAS SMILED DOWN UPON ME.

WHATEVER.

HERE YOU GO.

NOW, DON'T FORGET TO WASH BEHIND YOUR EARS.

NOW, DON'T FORGET TO WASH BEHIND YOUR EARS.

OH, YEAH, BABY.

NOTHING LIKE A SHOWER TO GET YOU READY FOR A NEW DAY.

WHAT THE-- LOOK WHAT I FOUND ON NAZZ'S

LAWN, EDDY.

IT LOOKS A LOT LIKE DOUBLE D.

P.U.!

YOU REEK, SOCKHEAD.

HE SMELLS WORSER THAN THE SANDWICH UNDER MY BED, EDDY.

HA HA HA!

YOU GOT THAT RIGHT, LUMPY.

MORE LIKE ONE OF YOUR 3-MONTH-OLD GYM SOCKS.

OH, OH, LIKE MY HEAD ON A RAINY DAY, HUH, EDDY?

HA HA!

HA HA!

VERY FUNNY.

CAN WE GET ON WITH THIS, PLEASE?

LET'S GET THAT CUSTARD OUT OF YOUR BELLYBUTTON, MISTER.

WAIT, ED.

LET ME GO GET A CAMERA.

HA HA HA!

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--]

ED, EDD, N' EDDY!

BRRRRRR YEAH!