Original subtitles

BRRRRRR, YEAH!

WHY DOES KEVIN TAUNT US SO?

MAYBE HE'S PLAYING TIDDLYWINKS!

COULD IT BE HE'S FORGOTTEN?

HE BETTER NOT HAVE, OR I'LL REMIND HIM THE HARD WAY.

CHILL, GUYS. HE'LL SHOW UP.

[RUMBLING]

OH!

All: JAWBREAKERS!

[KIDS CHEERING]

MY DAD SAYS THE INVENTORY'S GOTTA GO.

SAME DRILL AS LAST YEAR, DUDES AND DUDETTES.

Nazz: AWESOME, KEV!

[CHEERING]

LEAVE SOME FOR ME, YOU PIGGIES!

Eddy: HURRY! QUICK! MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!

Rolf: OUT OF ROLF'S WAY!

I'M SET FOR LIFE!

Jonny: YOU AIN'T JUST WHISTLIN' DIXIE, SISTER!

Ed: JAWBREAKERS, EDDY!

OUT OF MY WAY! I'M SALIVATING!

Edd: GADZOOKS! DO YOU SEE ANY JAWBREAKERS?

I CERTAINLY DON'T!

Eddy: THEY'RE ALL GONE!

SAY IT AIN'T SO, DOUBLE D!

Edd: I'M AFRAID WE'RE TOO LATE, EDDY.

COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU AREN'T!

OW! AAH!

THIS IS YOUR FAULT. ADMIT IT!

IF YOU DO, I PROMISE NOT TO LEAVE BRUISES.

Kevin: HEY, YOU LOVEBIRDS, VAMOOSE!

BABY-SITTING'S OVER, 'CAUSE I JUST SCORED BIG TIME!

LATER.

YOU FORGOT TO SAY "DORKS," KEVIN!

DID YOU SEE KEVIN'S POCKET?

IT'S BURSTING WITH CASH, I TELL YA!

LET'S HOPE FOR KEVIN'S SAKE

THOSE STITCHES DON'T TEAR.

WOULDN'T IT BE A SHAME IF HE WERE TO LOSE

THAT PLENTIFUL PECK OF PENNIES?

YEP.

YEP?

IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF--YEP?

NO RASH, NONSENSICAL QUIP

TO DEFRAUD KEVIN OF HIS FORTUNE?

SCAM KEVIN.

THAT'S WHAT HE SAID, RIGHT?

I'M WAY AHEAD OF YOU, SOCKHEAD.

HERE'S THE PLAN, BOYS.

[LOW GROWLING]

WHAT?

UH, YOU KNOW.

[LOW GROWLING]

WELL?

[LOW GROWLING]

OK, WHAT?

[WHIMPERING]

BREAKFAST, ANYONE?

EDDY, ARE YOU FEELING ALL RIGHT?

THIS BEHAVIOR'S QUITE UNLIKE YOU.

[COUGHING]

OH, MUST BE THIS MALARIA, DOUBLE D.

I'M JUST GONNA GO GRAB ME A LAXATIVE.

UHH!

WAITING FOR THE PLAN HERE, EDDY.

OH, WHAT'S THE USE?

[MUFFLED] I CAN'T THINK OF A SCAM.

Edd: PARDON ME, EDDY, I COULDN'T HEAR YOU.

[MUFFLED] I CAN'T THINK OF A SCAM!

AH!

YOU WERE SAYING?

I CAN'T THINK OF A SCAM!

OH, EDDY, YOU HAVE NOTHING MORE THAN A MENTAL BLOCK.

DON'T BE ASHAMED OF IT. IT HAPPENS TO THE BEST OF US.

NOT TO ME, IT DOESN'T!

DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF, EDDY.

I'M SURE YOU'LL THINK OF SOMETHING IN DUE TIME.

PARDON ME TO HECK, BUT EDDY SHOULD JUST BUY ONE.

INTERESTING.

ED'S SUGGESTION TO PURCHASE A STAND-IN STRATAGEM

MAY BE A VIABLE ONE, EDDY.

MMM.

[BELL CLATTERING]

EDDY'S STUCK, HASN'T A CLUE.

GIVE US A SCAM, AND WE'LL PAY YOU!

Jonny: HIYA, GUYS. WHAT YA DOING?

"YOU THINK IT, WE BUY IT."

Edd: CARE TO SUBMIT AN IDEA FOR A SCAM, JONNY?

WOW! A SCAM?

I DON'T KNOW.

HOW ABOUT THIS--

JONNY AND PLANK'S PENNY DANCE.

A-ONE AND A-TWO...

♪ PENNY, PENNY, I SEE A PENNY ♪

♪ GIVE ME YOUR PENNIES... ♪

A TAD ECCENTRIC, DON'T YOU THINK?

♪ I SEE A PENNY, WHO'S GOT A PENNY? ♪

WHOO-EEE! THAT SMARTS!

[BOTH GIGGLING]

Jimmy: AAH!

I'VE SEEN BETTER DAYS, DOUBLE D.

I'M TAPPED. DONE FOR.

HELP!

[CRASH]

I'M HIDEOUS! DON'T LOOK AT ME!

JIMMY, WIGGLE YOUR TOES. IS ED IN THERE?

WHERE DID I GO?

HEY, JIMMY BOY,

SELL ME A SCAM, YOU DOG, YOU!

EXCUSE ME?

GO ON! I PROMISE I WON'T LAUGH.

I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOUR NICHE.

HMM.

THIS AIN'T WORKING, DOUBLE D.

HAVE FAITH, EDDY.

AFTER ALL, YOU DID TEACH HIM EVERYTHING YOU KNOW.

OH, YEAH, I DID.

DIDN'T WE WIN AN EMMY FOR THAT EPISODE?

HARDLY.

WHAT WOULD I DO IF YOU WERE ME?

MOVE! HA HA HA!

I THINK I HAVE A SCAM

THAT'LL KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF.

IS THIS KID GOLD OR WHAT?

LEAD THE WAY, EDDY JUNIOR!

I THINK EDDY'S STARTING TO FEEL

BETTER ABOUT HIMSELF, ED.

AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE BUS DRIVER AWAY, DOUBLE D.

THIS IS IT! BOBBLY-BOBBLY-BOO.

THIS IS THE PERFECT SPOT FOR WHAT I'D LIKE TO CALL

"JIMMY'S SUPER-DUPER SCAMMY-WHAMMY!"

Jimmy: ED, FROM YOU, I WILL NEED 10 EXTENSION CORDS.

OOH! OOH!

OH, BOY, I CAN'T WAIT!

EDDY, FROM YOU, I WILL NEED 10 REFRIGERATORS.

10 REFRIGER--WHATS?

YOU MEANT ED, RIGHT?

ALL THAT HEAVY LIFTING AIN'T MY STYLE, KID.

IS THAT SO?

I GUESS MY SCAM'S JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.

NO, WAIT!

10 REFRIGERATORS, OK, YOU GOT IT!

I'M ACHING ALREADY.

SO, JIMMY, DO TELL.

WHAT EXACTLY HAVE YOU PLANNED

FOR THIS LUCRATIVE LURE?

I MEAN, YOU HAVE THOUGHT THIS THROUGH,

HAVEN'T YOU?

OH, EDDY?

LOOKS LIKE YOU'LL HAVE SOME HELP WITH THOSE REFRIGERATORS!

HYAH! HYAH! HYAH!

[THUD]

THAT'S ONE.

[RUMBLING]

YOU ASKED FOR IT. 10 FRIDGES!

WHEN DO WE SUCKER THOSE SUCKERS

FOR CASH, JIMMY BOY?

I NOW REQUIRE 100 FENCE BOARDS.

100 FENCE BOARDS?

WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU NEED--

Eddy: QUIT BELLYACHING!

Eddy: GO ON, YANK IT!

DO I HAVE TO COME DOWN THERE AND SHOW YOU HOW TO DO IT?

COME ON! PUT SOME MUSCLE INTO IT!

SPLENDID. IT'S ALL COMING TOGETHER.

NOW ALL WE NEED ARE THOSE EXTENSION CORDS.

WHAT'S TAKING ED SO LONG?

[CHUCKLING]

OH, ALL RIGHT--

ANYTHING TO SEE WHERE THIS FRIVOLOUS FRACAS LEADS TO.

Jimmy: GENTLEMEN, I'M READY TO UNVEIL WHAT I CALL

"JIMMY'S SUPER-DUPER SCAMMY-WHAMMY."

[GRUNTING]

IT'S TO DIE FOR!

YUMMY!

IS THAT AN ICE POP?

THIS ONE'S "STRAWBERRY GUSH,"

AND THAT'S "BANANA BUMP."

WE'LL BE RICH, EDDY!

REFRESHING AND NUTRITIOUS.

I LIKE THAT. BRAVO, JIMMY!

Eddy: ICE POPS ARE STUPID!

IF YOU THINK I'M PAYING YOU FOR THIS LAME-O SCAM, YOU'RE WRONG!

I COULD HAVE THOUGHT OF SOMETHING BETTER!

FINE. SUIT YOURSELF.

AND JUST TRY TO THINK OF SOMETHING BETTER!

HUMPH!

OH, I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING BETTER!

ED, KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO ME.

AND MAKE IT A GOOD ONE.

[SLAMMING]

Eddy: OWW! OOH! OH! OW!

THAT'S IT! I GOT ONE!

I JUST THUNK, DOUBLE D--

THE SCAM OF ALL SCAMS!

I'M BACK, BABY.

PERPLEXED BY THE MYSTERIES OF LIFE?

FOR JUST ONE QUARTER,

YOU, TOO, CAN FIND OUT YOUR HAT SIZE!

PLEASE PUT YOUR HEAD IN THIS HOLE, SIR.

YOUR HAT SIZE IS 4.

I AM FULFILLED!

WHAT? THAT'S IT?

YEAH, I'LL FORK UP FOR THAT.

HERE YOU GO.

WHOA! WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT?

I MUST HAVE SPENT ALL MY CASH ON...

JIMMY'S RAD ICE POPS. HA HA HA!

SEE YA, DORKS.

[SLURPING]

[JIMMY GIGGLING]

[COINS JINGLING]

WELL, JIMMY CERTAINLY PROFITED FROM HIS VENTURE.

WE MUST SCAM HIM, MY GAGGLE OF PALS.

EDDY?

[WHIMPERING]

OK, ED, YOU KNOW THE DRILL.

OUCH! OW!

[BIRD SCREECHING]

Rolf: BEHOLD THE SHRINE OF EGYPT,

AS FORETOLD BY THE SOOTHSAYER.

WELCOME, TRAVELERS, TO THE MYSTERIOUS MARVELS

OF THE ANCIENT SPHINX.

MY NAME IS EDDWARD, EGYPTOLOGIST,

AND I'LL BE YOUR GUIDE TODAY.

DID YOU KNOW ANCIENT EGYPTIANS USED PICTORIAL SYMBOLS

CALLED HIEROGLYPHICS AS THEIR SYSTEM OF WRITING?

HOW ARTISTIC! WHAT DO THEY SAY, EDDWARD?

WELL, LET'S DECIPHER IT, SHALL WE?

THIS SYMBOL STANDS FOR... UM, WELL, THIS IS CLEARLY TOAST.

AS FOR THIS, WELL, UM, I'M NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS.

HO HO! THE ANCIENT ONES HAVE STUMPED THE KNOW-IT-ALL EDD BOY.

MY STUPID BROTHER DREW THIS, DIDN'T HE?

OH, LOOK-- A MYSTERIOUS PASSAGEWAY!

LET'S STAY CLOSE, NOW. NO DILLYDALLYING.

Jimmy: OH, MY LEGS!

AS WE ARE ABOUT TO ENTER

THE GREAT CHAMBER OF THE SARCOPHAGUS!

All: WHOA!

Jimmy: IT'S BEAUTIFUL!

WELCOME, INQUISITIVE TYPES,

TO THE TOMB OF KING TUCK-YOUR-SHIRT-IN!

ROLF'S PORRIDGE QUIVERS AT THIS BALONEY!

SARAH, I'M FRIGHTENED!

HIS MUMMIFIED CORPSE IN WAIT HERE LIES FOR US TO UNSEAL.

A MUMMY? THAT'S SO ARCHAIC.

BUT WHAT IF IT'S CURSED?

NOT AT THESE PRICES, KID.

ROLF, PLEASE HOLD THIS AS I ASSIST EDDY.

OKEY-DOKEY. ROLF IS HUMBLED BY THIS HOOEY.

[GRUNTING]

AAH!

HEY! HUH?

[FOOTSTEPS]

OH, THERE HE IS.

KING TUCK-HIS-SHIRT-IN, WE'VE BEEN WAITING.

JUST GRABBING A BITE THERE, SHEIK.

ALLEY-OOP!

ACT LIKE A MUMMY, STUPID!

[MOANING]

Sarah: BORING!

NO, WAIT! DON'T GO!

I'LL MUMMIFY HIM MYSELF. YOU'LL SEE!

WILL YOU LET GO?

[ED LAUGHING]

AH...AH...AH...

AH-AHCHOO!

Edd: AAH!

[CRASH]

DUSTY. GRR!

THAT'S IT!

NAH, HE AIN'T LOOKING AT US.

THAT EYE'S JUST DRAWN ON.

YOU WANNA MEET THE LOCALS?

OK.

ED, EDD, AND EDDY,

I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET PLANK'S MOM AND HIS DAD.

THEY'RE VISITING FROM OUT OF TOWN.

UNH!

WELL--HA HA!-- WHAT A SURPRISE.

IT CERTAINLY IS A PLEASURE MEETING YOU, MR. AND MRS. PLANK.

AHEM.

Ed: HI.

YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT?

ALL RIGHTY.

BUT AFTER YOU TAKE A FEW PICTURES,

LET'S SAY WE RELAX A BIT, HUH?

JONNY'S CRACKED!

ISN'T THAT DARLING?

JONNY'S CREATED AN IMAGINARY FAMILY FOR PLANK.

Jonny: OK, YOU TWO SNAP AWAY.

I'LL JUST BE OVER HERE. HOLLER IF YOU NEED ME!

OH, BROTHER! UGH.

JONNY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

PLANK'S PARENTS ARE JUST "GO, GO, GO!

GO, GO, GO, GO!"

ME AND PLANK ARE POOPED.

OH...

FRET NOT, JONNY,

FOR I, ED THE MUMMY,

WILL SHOW PLANK'S VISITING PARENTS OUR NEIGHBORHOOD.

YOU WILL?

THEY'RE OVER THERE BY THE BOARDS, ED!

WE'RE FREE, PLANK, FREE!

OH, GOOD ONE, ED!

WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW--

CARRY THEM AROUND ALL DAY?

UNFORTUNATELY, YES, EDDY.

ED'S OVERZEALOUS OFFER HAS PUT HIM IN A POSITION OF RESPONSIBILITY.

NOW, IF WE COULD ONLY FIND THEM.

THIS STINKS!

FOUND THEM!

HELLO, MOTHER AND FATHER OF PLANK.

REMEMBER ME? I AM ED,

AND I WILL BE YOUR GUIDE TODAY.

THEY'RE HUNKS OF WOOD, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

JUST LEAVE THEM HERE.

NO WAY, JOSE!

EDDY, HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?

THEY MAY JUST BE HUNKS OF WOOD TO YOU,

BUT TO JONNY, THEY'RE PLANK'S PARENTS.

HUMPH!

HUMPH!

GO ON, THEN!

I GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN BE SOME TOUR GUIDE

TO A COUPLE OF FLOORBOARDS. HUH!

HA HA!

A TOUR GUIDE! THAT'S IT!

[TOILET FLUSHES]

Edd: AND OVER TO OUR RIGHT,

YOU'LL NOTICE AN EXQUISITE EXAMPLE

OF ONE OF OUR INDIGENOUS ANTHILLS.

ARDENT LITTLE THINGS, AREN'T THEY?

OOH, AND HERE WE HAVE A PRODIGIOUS OLD OAK TREE.

YES, INDEED.

PERHAPS A RELATIVE, YES?

OOH, AMUSING, DON'T YOU THINK?

NOT FUNNY, DOUBLE D.

MA AND PA PLANK! WHAT A CO-IN-KY-DINK!

WELCOME TO EDDY'S DELUXE TOUR LINE--

THE SWANKIEST, HIPPEST, BUT NOT TOO EXPENSIVE

TOUR LINE IN THE CUL-DE-SAC.

WHAT'S THAT?

COUNT YOU IN?

RUN A TAB?

JONNY'S GOOD FOR IT?

WELL, LET'S SEE!

50 CENTS EACH FOR THE TOUR,

25 FOR THE BUS, AND A BUCK FOR ME.

HEY, MONOBROW! GIVE ME A PUSH, WILL YA?

CAN DO, EDDY!

BUT I CANNOT JOIN IN YOUR MERRIMENT,

FOR I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR PLANK'S MOMMY AND DADDY.

HEY! HOLD IT ONE DARN SECOND THERE!

ED! WAIT! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

DON'T YOU LEAVE ME HERE!

[GRUNTING]

[ED WHIMPERING]

WAIT! NEVER MIND! I'M FINE!

ED--

EDDY KIDNAPPED MY RESPONSIBLES, DOUBLE D!

[BRAKES SCREECH]

BEHOLD THE GREAT MOUNTAINS OF CUL-DE-SAC-IA!

IT TOOK A GAZILLION YEARS OF SLAG TO FORM THESE PUPPIES.

NOTE THE STENCH-- PRICELESS.

HA HA HA!

WHAT'S THAT?

SOUVENIRS? ALL YOU CAN BUY!

UH, WE GOT AN OFFICIAL HAND-RUSTED MOUNTAIN PLATE,

ONLY 50 CENTS.

AND, UH...AW, WHO CARES? GET IT ANYWAYS.

IT'S JONNY'S TREAT. HA HA HA!

COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE, MISTER!

UNHAND PLANK'S MOMMY AND DADDY!

ED, HIS ROOM IS THE LAST PLACE EDDY WOULD HAVE BROUGHT THEM.

HELLO? WHAT'S THIS?

QUICKLY, ED, WE'LL TRACK HIM THROUGH HIS CHEAP COLOGNE!

INHALE ITS SCENT. GO ON!

AND ONE MORE FOR GOOD MEASURE!

MMM!

[PANTING]

FIND THE EDDY, ED!

HANG ON TO YOUR SAWDUST, FOLKS.

IT'S ONE OF A KIND, ONLY AT EDDY'S DELUXE TOUR LINES...

A MANHOLE COVER!

HA HA HA!

[THUD]

Sarah: HEY!

MOVE THIS STUPID BOX OUT OF MY WAY!

IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY!

JUST RECENTLY ESCAPED FROM THE NEIGHBORHOOD ZOO,

IT'S SARAH THE PROUD-MOUTHED BRAT

AND THE DIAPER-RASH BOY JIMMY.

[GROWLING]

YOU TOLD HIM! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!

YOU IDIOT!

HOW'S THAT FOR HOLIDAY EXCITEMENT?

HMM? HERE, ED! TRACKS!

Eddy: HA HA HA!

EYEBALL THIS BEAUT--

THE WORLD'S OLDEST BLADE OF GRASS!

AND THERE,

THE WORLD'S LARGEST LITTERBOX--

A TOUR SPECIAL!

I'LL JUST ADD IT TO THE TAB.

Edd: EDDY, RETURN PLANK'S PARENTS!

Ed: I PROMISED JONNY, EDDY!

NO TIME FOR PHOTOS. GOTTA GO!

HA HA HA!

EDDY!

HA HA HA!

UH-OH!

[BRAKES SCREECHING]

WHOO-HOO!

OOF! OW!

AND NOW WE'RE ABOUT TO GO UNDER THE BIG MONKEY-BAR BRIDGE.

DUCK!

HELLO?

GOOD LORD!

AAH!

[EDDY SCREAMING]

LOOK, DOUBLE D, THE BUS IS COMING.

WE'VE GOT HIM NOW!

LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO PLANK'S MOMMY AND DADDY!

WHO KNOWS WHAT THIS WILL DO TO JONNY

WHEN HE SEES THIS, EDDY?

HIS TIES TO REALITY ARE ALREADY TENUOUS AT BEST.

Jonny: HOLY JUMPING BANANA BOATS!

DON'T LOOK, PLANK!

Eddy: RELAX, BALDY--

NOTHING A LITTLE GLUE AND A COUPLE OF NAILS WON'T FIX.

ED, IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF SHOWING THEM A GOOD TIME?

IT WASN'T ME, JONNY, HONEST!

EDDY DID IT!

YEP, I SHOWED THEM THE TIME OF THEIR LIFE, JONNY BOY,

AND IT WASN'T CHEAP.

I'LL JUST TOTAL UP YOUR BILL.

CHA-CHING!

HOW DO YOU WANT TO PAY FOR THIS, JONNY--

CASH OR CASH?

EDDY...

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'LL BE PAYING,

SMARTY-PANTS!

PLANK KNOWS PEOPLE!

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

THEY'RE JUST HUNKS OF WOOD, FOR PETE'S SAKE!

I WOULDN'T SAY THAT TOO LOUDLY, EDDY.

[ED WHIMPERING]

I THINK THEY'RE WATCHING US!

MAKE THEM GO AWAY, DOUBLE D!

MAKE THEM GO AWAY!

MAN, THIS IS STUPID.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--

♪ ED, EDD N EDDY

BRRRRRR, YEAH!