Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

BBBB...YEAH!

MAKE ME LOOK JUST LIKE ONE OF THEM

HIGH-FASHION WHATSITS, OK?

YOU'VE GOT IT, MAY.

YEAH, WE'LL MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A BUCK AND A HALF.

LET'S START WITH KETCHUP FOR THAT HOMELY COMPLEXION.

AND COLD CUTS'LL GET RID OF THOSE SHOPPING BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES.

ONE EGG FOR WHO KNOWS WHAT.

AND SOME EAU DE PICKLES FOR THAT SMELL OF SUCCESS.

MASSAGE GENTLY.

May: I FEEL PRETTY ALREADY!

Maria: A QUICK BLOW-DRY.

AND...

Lee and Maria: READY OR NOT,

YOU'RE HOT TO TROT!

I'M UGLY!

SO, WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

HEY!

YOU WRECKED MY NATURAL GOOD LOOKS!

SHE'S DELUSIONAL. I SAY WE RUSH HER.

AAH!

[SOBBING]

Lee: GO SEE WHAT SHE'S DOING NOW.

Maria: WHO DIED AND MADE YOU QUEEN?

[PUNCH]

AH, SHE'S JUST BAWLING.

WE MADE THE LITTLE BABY CRY.

HA HA! OW!

NOW MY MAN'S GONNA THINK I'M A COOTIE TRAP.

WHAT DO YOU CARE? YOU'VE GOT A GREAT PERSONALITY.

BESIDES, WHO NEEDS GOOD LOOKS WHEN YOU'VE GOT US?

Ed: OOH, OOH, LOOK, DOUBLE D!

ART!

I CALL THIS ONE, "TO NOODLE OR NOT TO NOODLE."

AND THIS ONE I WILL CALL,

"NO MORE FOR ME, THANKS.

I AM A RUSSIAN."

WELL, MACARONI ART SEEMS TO HAVE REALLY

BROUGHT OUT YOUR CREATIVE SIDE, ED.

YEAH, JUST LIKE IT BROUGHT OUT ALL THESE PAYING CUSTOMERS

WHO WILL JUST FLIP FOR DOUBLE D'S ARTS AND CRAFTS FAIR!

TWO WORDS, DOUBLE D:

LAME. "O."

A FOOL'S BOLT IS SOON SHOT, EDDY.

IT IS WELL-DOCUMENTED

THAT HOMEMADE ANOMALIES PERK ONE'S CURIOSITY.

CAN YOU HONESTLY SAY THIS BUTTERFLY

MADE FROM COMMON HOUSEHOLD TWADDLE

ISN'T DELIGHTFUL?

I'M STILL STUCK ON THAT FOOL'S BOLT LINE.

Ed: WHOOPS! UH, GUYS?

I THINK I GLUED MY HEAD TO THE TABLE!

OH, ED.

HOW ON EARTH DID YOU EVER--

Kankers: HIYA, ED!

WELL, THAT'S IT FOR ME!

Lee and Maria: YOU'RE COMING WITH US!

OKEY-DOKEY, LADIES!

UM, SEE YA, GUYS!

A LESSON IN LIFE I'M SURE TO GET.

YEP, I HAVE SEEN BETTER DAYS.

DID YOU SEE THAT?!

I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING. YOU SEE SOMETHING?

'CAUSE I DIDN'T. KANKERS? WHAT KANKERS?

WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING, EDDY. ED NEEDS OUR HELP!

OH, THE HORROR!

ONE CAN ONLY IMAGINE THE ATROCITIES

THOSE LOWER-LIVES HAVE PLANNED!

JUST DENY EVERYTHING, DOUBLE D.

YOU'LL LIVE LONGER!

HOW ABOUT HELPING ME MAKE ONE OF THEM

SISSY BUTTERFLY THINGS?

HELP?

OF COURSE! HELP!

THERE'S POWER IN NUMBERS, EDDY!

HURRY!

[HUMMING]

Edd: ROLF!

ED!

TROUBLE!

KANKER SISTERS!

PLEASE!

ROLF, YOU MUST HELP US.

THE SECURITY OF OUR ONCE-PEACEFUL CUL-DE-SAC

HAS BEEN BREACHED.

OUR DEAR ED WAS JUST PLUCKED FROM THIN AIR

BY THOSE UNRELENTING KANKER SISTERS.

IS THAT SO,

HE WHO LAMENTS AT THE TIP OF A HAT?

DID ROLF JUST JUMP INTO THAT BARREL

OF TREE SAP?

OH!

FEAR NOT,

AS THE URBAN RANGERS WILL RESCUE

THE NINNY HAMMERHEAD BOY.

HOLD THAT THOUGHT, HOUDINI.

URBAN RANGERS?

I HATE THEM.

URBAN RANGERS!

OH!

TODAY WE MUST BELL THE CAT,

TAKE THE BULLS BY THE HORN,

BEARD THE LION IN HIS DEN,

MARCH UP TO THE CANNON'S MOUTH,

GO THROUGH THE FIRE AND WATER,

AND FACE THE MUSIC.

BUT THERE IS NO BADGE.

NO BADGE!

SOMETHING SMELLS ROTTEN IN DENMARK!

DON'T LOOK AT ME!

AS THE RANGER MANUAL WILL ONLY REWARD THIS DEED WITH THE...

FREEING OF THE FOOL

PEWTER MEDALLION!

OOH! PEWTER!

OH, COME ON!

YOU GUYS ARE SO FULL OF YOURSELVES.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I EVEN THOUGHT OF JOINING

YOU STUPID HAS-BEENS.

URBAN RANGERS?

SO SORRY, ED BOY,

BUT THIS MISSION IS FOR URBAN RANGERS ONLY.

OOPS! WRONG FLOOR.

PLEASE, ROLF, LET US JOIN YOU.

ED'S OUR FRIEND!

RANGERS, RETREAT!

IN ORDER FOR A MUCKWORM TO ACCOMPANY THE URBAN RANGERS

ON ANY OFFICIAL URBAN RANGER DEED,

THEY MUST BE DEPUTIZED INTO RANGERHOOD.

RANGER JONNY!

DOUBLE D AND EDDY,

DO YOU VOW TO UPHOLD THE SECRECY OF RANGERHOOD

OR FACE 100 SMACKS WITH A WET NOODLE?

Jimmy: RAISE YOUR LEFT HAND AND SWEAR!

I DO SOLEMNLY SWEAR.

SHEESH.

DO IT FOR ED, EDDY.

I'D SWEAR, BUT STANDARDS WON'T LET ME.

Ed: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, SHE-WOLF OF BADNESS?

SET ME FREE AND I, UM,

I WILL GIVE YOU MY MACARONI ART!

I LOVE A MAN THAT BEGS.

OH, MAY,

WE GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU.

A BIG AND DUMB ONE!

May: I STILL AIN'T TALKING TO YOU TWO.

HA! YOU JUST DID, BONEHEAD.

Lee: TAKE A LOOK, MAY!

IT'S MY BOYFRIEND!

Ed: OH, HELP ME!

AND TO THINK, I ALMOST MISSED THIS!

COME, URBAN RANGERS, AS DESTINY CALLS!

Lee: OK, MAY. CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON.

LET HIM HAVE IT, MAY!

YEAH, SHOW HIM YOU CARE.

[LAUGHING]

May: YOU'RE MINE, FOREVER MORE!

WAIT!

[KISSING]

HE'S MY LITTLE POOKIE BEAR.

NOT POOKIE BEAR!

I AM ED!

HELP ME, GUYS!

SHE'S GOING TO--

UGH!

Rolf: AHEM! WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS!

THIS CONGEALED GRISTLE HAS MARRED THE ONCE-PROUD SEARING GRILL.

AND HOW WILL YOU EVER RESTORE ITS LUSTER?

A PROBLEM, YOU SAY?

NEVER!

AS THE URBAN RANGER WILL MAKE IT PROUD ONCE AGAIN.

IS THIS GUY FOR REAL?

REAL OR NOT,

THAT GUY'S WEARING A UNIFORM.

DREAMY!

EAR NIBBLING WILL GET YOU 5 TO 10, YOU ANIMAL, YOU.

HURRY UP, MAY!

THERE'S A GUY IN UNIFORM CLEANING OUR BARBECUE!

WHAT DO I CARE?

I'VE GOT A MAN.

PSST! FRET NOT, ED.

THE RANGERS HAVE ARRIVED!

HOORAY!

Kankers: WHAT A MAN!

WE CAN'T HELP YOU IF YOU'RE NOT QUIET, SILLY.

HELP?

GOOD IDEA!

SHUT IT, OR I'LL GIVE YOU SUCH A PINCH!

OH, I KNOW!

I CAN DISTRACT THEM, AND YOU GUYS GO FOR HELP!

WE ARE THE HELP, ED!

♪ LONDON BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN, FALLING DOWN, FALLING DOWN... ♪

HUH? HUH? HUH?

HEY!

[PUNCHES]

Ed: HEY, GUYS, YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO GET CAUGHT.

WAIT A MINUTE.

THOSE GUYS GOT UNIFORMS JUST LIKE THIS GUY'S.

Rolf: THERE WAS A SALE, WHAT CAN I TELL YOU?

RANGERS, IMPLEMENT EVASIVE MANEUVER!

CODE YELLOW.

[MAKING ANIMAL SOUNDS]

STAY STILL, AS THEY CAN SMELL FEAR.

GET A SHOVEL, MAY.

LOOKS LIKE WE'LL HAVE TO BURY 'EM.

FORGET IT!

MY BOYFRIEND NEEDS SOME LOVIN'.

HEY, WAIT!

THESE GUYS ARE FAKING.

I'M GONNA WET MY PANTS.

BUSTED!

LET'S GO.

NO!

I SAID, LET'S GO!

NOT WITHOUT OUR ED.

IF WE GET CAUGHT, YOU'RE GONNA GET THIS UP THE SCHNOZZOLA.

THANK YOU, EDDY.

THAT'S NO WAY TO CHECK IF THEY'RE DEAD.

MOM SAYS YOU GOTTA STARE AT 'EM.

Edd: BOY, I HOPE YOUR SKIN HASN'T ABSORBED THE INK

FROM THOSE PENS, ED.

COULD BE TROUBLE, MISTER!

DIDN'T YOU MISS ME, DOUBLE D?

OF COURSE WE DID, ED. DON'T BE SILLY.

TURN AROUND, PLEASE.

WATCH MY BANDAGE, DOUBLE D.

ED! DID THOSE TROUBLEMAKING KANKERS HURT YOU?

NAH. I DID THAT LAST WEEK.

LET ME HAVE A LOOK, ED.

IT CERTAINLY WOULD HAVE HEALED BY NOW.

IS THAT A COOKIE?

Ed: YEP!

I SAVED IT!

THAT IS THE MOST DISGUSTING, IRRATIONAL...

IT'S NICE TO HAVE YOU BACK, ED.

I WAS WONDERING IF THOSE URBAN LOSERS

WILL GET THEIR BADGE!

AT LEAST THEY TRIED, EDDY.

QUACK!

AND TO THINK, WE JUST LEFT HIM WITH THOSE--

Ed: OK, I AM OFF AGAIN!

A LESSON IN LIFE I AM SURE I'LL GET.

KISS YOUR FRIEND GOOD-BYE,

AS THE DISGRACE AFFLICTED ON THE BODIES

OF THE URBAN RANGERS SHALL BE AVENGED!

COWARDS!

OH, DEAR!

THAT'S IT, I'M DONE.

BUT, EDDY!

ROLF, WAIT! TAKE EDDY INSTEAD!

[HUMMING]

EEK! AAH!

AAH! OOH!

KINDA RUNNING ON EMPTY, AREN'T YA, JONNY?

YEP. I'M POOPED, EDDY.

WELL, IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY, JONNY BOY.

WHY, WE AT ED'S BEDS HAVE A TOP-NOTCH SELECTION OF MATTRESSES

FOR ALL YOUR SLEEP NEEDS.

ALL AVAILABLE AT A SPECIAL ONE-TIME LOW PRICE.

BEDS?

Edd: THAT'S CORRECT, JONNY.

ALL OUR MATTRESSES HAVE BEEN FULLY RECONDITIONED

WITH A COATING OF EDDY'S VERY OWN

THEY'LL NEVER KNOW THEY'RE STINKING JUNKYARD MATTRESSES PAINT.

Rolf: ED BOYS!

YOUR MATTRESS HAS RUPTURED ROLF'S TAILBONE.

WHO IS IN CHARGE OF THIS DOUBLE-CROSSING SLUMBER FLIMFLAMMERY?

WHAT'S IT TO YA?

RETURN ROLF'S MONEY!

AY-EE.

Eddy: MOMMY!

[GRUNTING]

Eddy: OW!

OF ALL THE ROTTEN, NO GOOD...

HOW'S A GUY SUPPOSED TO GET AHEAD IN LIFE

IF HE GIVES BACK ALL THE MONEY HE SUCKERS?

HEY!

HMM.

[GRUNTING]

DOUBLE D!

UM, ED?

GUYS?

STAY CALM, EDDY.

THINK, THINK.

I KNOW! I'LL HIDE IT!

DON'T GO AWAY, NOW.

HEY, GUYS!

HMM...

I FOUND A LUCKY QUARTER.

JEEPERS.

YOU'RE A TOUGH NUT TO CRACK.

GUARD MY QUARTER WITH YOUR TUSHY, MR. YUM YUM.

I'LL GO GET SOME MUSCLE.

SARAH!

LOOKS LIKE FLUFFY FORGOT HIS STUFFED RAT.

WHOA.

COOL.

[WHISTLING]

HUH?

OUCH.

TOUGH GUY, HUH?

MAN, THAT BITES.

HMM...

HEH HEH HEH.

I'LL BE BACK.

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS DINGUS PIERCING ROLF'S HOT-WATER SACK?

WHY WOULD KEVIN LEAVE HIS HAT ON THE PAVED FOOTPATH?

A GIFT FROM THE GODS.

OBSTINATE COIN FROM WHERE I DON'T KNOW.

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR AN UNMERCILESS BEATING

BY ROLF'S SHOE!

HAD ENOUGH?

NO?

PERHAPS A TWO-SHOE BEATING IS MORE YOUR VOCATION.

IS THIS A TEST?

TELL ME, LOST LITTLE RED CENT,

HAVE YOU EVER EXPERIENCED

THE ALMIGHTY 3-SHOE BEATING?

TAKE THIS!

TAKE THAT!

ONE FOR THE ROAD!

Eddy: I'M TELLIN' YA, IT'S JUST STUCK THERE

HARD AS A ROCK.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Ed: LOOK, A SHOE!

DO YA THINK IT'LL FIT ME?

FORGET THE SHOE. IT'S THE QUARTER I WANT.

AT WHICH POINT, EVERY ATTEMPT WILL BE MADE

TO RETURN IT TO ITS RIGHTFUL OWNER.

IN YOUR DREAMS.

FINDERS, KEEPERS.

LOSERS, WEEPERS.

NICE HEAD, HUH, EDDY?

GIVE ME BACK MY SHOE.

HMM...

Ed: NICE SHOE!

Eddy: GET OUT OF HERE, ED!

DON'T TOUCH ME!

Ed: TWO OF A FEATHER STINK TOGETHER, EDDY!

CAN I HAVE SOME QUIET, PLEASE?

HOW ANYONE IS TO ESTABLISH A CRITERIA

ON THE ADHERING CAPABILITIES

OF THIS INSULAR 25-CENT PIECE IS BEYOND ME.

LET GO, YOU IDIOT!

AIN'T YOU DONE YET?

OUT OF THE WAY, DORKY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

Sarah: LOOK OUT!

SEE? THAT'S MY LUCKY QUARTER, SARAH.

Rolf: GET AWAY FROM THERE!

WHOA!

AAH!

AAH!

THIS TIME, ROLF WILL BE SERIOUS.

IT'S MINE!

I FOUND THE QUARTER!

SAVE YOUR BREATH, LOSERS.

THAT'S MY QUARTER.

TAKE A HIKE.

JIMMY FOUND THAT QUARTER FIRST.

I FOUND THIS SHOE!

[YELLING]

SHOES FOR THE TAKING, DOUBLE D!

Eddy: HANDS OFF MY QUARTER!

YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE!

PEOPLE!

I MAY HAVE A SOLUTION TO EVERYONE'S DILEMMA.

HEY, EVERYBODY, LET'S BE NICE.

SHUSH! DOUBLE D'S GOT SOMETHING TO--

MAY THE ONION OF AGONY SOIL YOUR MACAROON!

ROLF'S BACK-- IT HAS BEEN HEALED!

THANK YOU, KEVIN!

BUT YOU ARE A NINCOMPOOP, AS THE COIN IS MINE!

HEY, LAY OFF, IT'S MINE!

[AIR HORN BLARES]

DUDE.

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, BLOW OUR HEADS OFF?

CRUDE, YET EFFECTIVE.

LET'S BEGIN, SHALL WE?

Edd: I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF ORGANIZING YOU

IN A MORE ORDERLY AND CIVIL MANNER.

THE PERSON WHO SUCCEEDS IN DISLODGING THIS MYSTICAL COHERED QUARTER

WILL BE APPOINTED TRUSTEE

AND BASK IN THE GLORY OF FOUND LEGAL TENDER.

AND I'M FIRST IN LINE!

THIS STINKS! I SAW IT FIRST!

IT'S MY QUARTER!

IF YOU SMELT IT, YOU DEALT IT, EDDY.

GO ON, JIMMY! YOU SHOW 'EM!

MY TRUSTY EYELASH CURLER WILL PEEL OFF THAT PUPPY.

GOOD LUCK, JIMMY!

Jimmy: OWIE! JIMMY!

EYELASHES AIN'T THE ONLY THING THAT THING CURLS!

MY TURN, MY TURN, MY TURN!

OK, WAIT, I'LL JUST...

OUT OF MY WAY!

OH, NO!

LOOK AT SARAH WORK THAT COIN WITH HER BIG MOUTH!

HEY, SARAH! I CAN SEE YOUR UNDIES!

HA HA HA, NICE ONE!

KISS YOUR DREAMS GOOD-BYE, 'CAUSE IT'S MINE.

WEASEL IN THE HENHOUSE, ED BOY?

YOU DARE CHEAT ROLF OF HIS FRONTMOST POSITION?

FRONT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THE FRONT'S THAT WAY.

YEAH!

I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU

AND IF YOU THINK--

[MUSICAL HORN PLAYS LA CUCARACHA]

MY BIKE!

AHA! MY TURN!

ROLF IS NEXT!

YAY, ROLF!

YOU HAVE MESSED WITH THE REST, NOW THE BEST WILL MAKE A MESS!

IMPLEMENT THE COMMERCIAL ENTERPRISE--

AY! ROLF'S BACK IS CRICKED YET AGAIN.

MY TURN!

WELL, THAT CAN'T BE GOOD FOR ROLF'S BACK.

THE LIGHT DOESN'T GET ANY GREENER, DOUBLE D.

YOU'RE AS GOOD AS SPENT

AFTER I SCRAPE YOU OFF WITH MY SHOVEL OF DOOM!

AAH!

OK, WAIT. I GOT IT!

THIS TIME FOR REAL.

EDDY, THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT WORKING.

Eddy: LOOK AT IT, DOUBLE D!

IT'S JUST BEGGING US TO TAKE IT.

COME ON, YOU MUST HAVE THOUGHT OF A WAY TO GET IT BY NOW.

WELL, YES, I HAVE GIVEN IT SOME THOUGHT.

I KNEW IT!

AND THEY'RE ALL HERE,

DOCUMENTED IN MY PROPOSAL FOR THE SAID QUARTER REMOVAL.

THESE ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?

WE'LL NEED MANY SUPPLIES.

OF COURSE, I'LL NEED HELP IN SETTING THE GROUNDWORK.

Eddy: OH, ED!

STAY!

WAIT UP, DOUBLE D!

[BEEPING]

[SNORING]

[WHISTLING]

Jonny: LET'S CHECK AND SEE, PLANK.

LOOK! IT'S STILL HERE.

AND YOU WERE RIGHT!

NO ONE FOUND IT UNDER THE QUARTER.

BUBBLE GUM SURE DOES TASTE BETTER WITH AGE, HUH, BUDDY?

IS THAT JONNY? HELLO, JONNY!

YUM, YUM, BUBBLE GUM!

GUM? IT WAS JUST A WAD OF--

HEY! GET BACK HERE WITH MY QUARTER, MELONHEAD!

I'VE HEARD OF SQUIRRELS STORING THEIR FOOD, BUT GUM?

I MEAN, THAT'S JUST PLAIN KOOKY.

OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

ED, COULD I PLEASE HAVE MY SHOES BACK?

YOU SNOOZE, YOU LOSE, DOUBLE D!

WHAT THE--

HEY! GIVE ME MY SHOES!

WHAT CAN YOU DO WHEN YOU LIVE IN A SHOE

AND YOU AIN'T GOT NO SOLE?

Edd and Eddy: ED!

ED, EDD N EDDY.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--