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1
00:00:00,433 --> 00:00:02,100
Hey, guys,
2
00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:04,936
in honor of tomorrow's
annual cul-de-sac sale, I...
3
00:00:04,971 --> 00:00:06,204
wrote a little ditty.
4
00:00:06,239 --> 00:00:07,472
You guys wanna hear it?
5
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:09,908
- Play it! Play it!
- Oh, absolutely!
6
00:00:09,942 --> 00:00:11,176
Absolutely! Yeah.
7
00:00:11,210 --> 00:00:13,412
Oops. Dropped the pick.
8
00:00:13,479 --> 00:00:15,480
Okay.
9
00:00:16,983 --> 00:00:18,583
Guys?
10
00:00:18,618 --> 00:00:21,153
Oh, screw it.
11
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:23,422
♪ Listen up, Jack,
there's a sale in my sac ♪
12
00:00:23,456 --> 00:00:26,124
♪ if you watch movies on VHS ♪
13
00:00:26,159 --> 00:00:28,293
♪ or you'd like
a 10-year-old dress ♪
14
00:00:28,327 --> 00:00:30,529
♪ or if you collect
toy submarines ♪
15
00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:32,464
- Is it almost over?
- ♪ or dirty old figurines ♪
16
00:00:32,498 --> 00:00:34,566
- I hope so.
- Oh, yeah.
17
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,269
♪ Tell your sister
not to bail ♪
18
00:00:37,303 --> 00:00:39,671
♪ tell your brother
who's in jail ♪
19
00:00:39,705 --> 00:00:42,040
♪ it's the annual
Gulfhaven cul-de-sac... ♪
20
00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:45,377
♪ sale ♪
21
00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:47,946
That was good.
22
00:00:48,014 --> 00:00:49,915
Second verse
different than the first!
23
00:00:49,949 --> 00:00:52,317
♪ It's the sale
that everyone goes to ♪
24
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:54,386
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
25
00:00:54,420 --> 00:00:57,355
_
26
00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,925
Well, this looks like
the last of it.
27
00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:01,560
Why are you selling
our ice cream maker?
28
00:01:01,594 --> 00:01:03,195
Because we've had it
for two years,
29
00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:05,964
and you've made ice cream
exactly zero times.
30
00:01:05,998 --> 00:01:07,365
Maybe I'll make some now.
31
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,102
Let's see. All right.
32
00:01:10,136 --> 00:01:11,436
All we need is, um...
33
00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:14,039
some milk, some sugar, cream.
34
00:01:14,107 --> 00:01:15,874
We throw this bucket
into the freezer for an hour.
35
00:01:15,942 --> 00:01:18,977
Then we have to take
a mixing apparatus and...
36
00:01:19,045 --> 00:01:20,579
Screw it. 5 bucks?
37
00:01:20,613 --> 00:01:22,047
Done.
38
00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:24,216
I hate yard sales.
It's just a bottom-feeders
39
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,518
buying and selling
each other's trash.
40
00:01:26,552 --> 00:01:28,920
Oh! A pair of used crutches!
41
00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:31,223
- Sword fight?
- Yeah!
42
00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:35,427
Bottom-feeders.
43
00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:37,329
Hey, are you selling
the ice cream maker?
44
00:01:37,363 --> 00:01:38,530
5 bucks.
45
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:40,065
Sweet! Is it easy it use?
46
00:01:40,099 --> 00:01:42,601
It's easier than...
47
00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:45,103
- Ellie, little help?
- It's easier than...
48
00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:50,709
Jules after a bottle of wine
and a compliment on her calves.
49
00:01:50,743 --> 00:01:52,711
You think my calves are nice?
50
00:01:52,745 --> 00:01:54,679
I'll take it.
51
00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:56,148
Oh!
52
00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:59,251
How much for
this fine dish towel?
53
00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,419
Hmm. 35 cents, you say?
54
00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:05,257
Okay, well, the nickels
are jammed. How about 30?
55
00:02:06,692 --> 00:02:08,193
Well, this is horrible.
56
00:02:08,227 --> 00:02:10,262
I love yard sale season.
57
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,430
A time for buying,
a time for selling.
58
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:15,100
Time for finding
that perfect pressure cooker
59
00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:17,202
you never knew
you always wanted.
60
00:02:17,236 --> 00:02:18,637
And the cycle continues.
61
00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:20,605
You buy a bunch of crap,
62
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,274
no one buys ours,
63
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:23,942
and our garage becomes
the dump site
64
00:02:23,976 --> 00:02:26,645
for all the unwashed losers
of Gulfhaven.
65
00:02:26,679 --> 00:02:29,047
Maybe if you're not so snarky
to our customers,
66
00:02:29,081 --> 00:02:32,017
we'll actually be able
to sell some stuff this year.
67
00:02:32,084 --> 00:02:33,618
What's the fun
of having a yard sale
68
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,321
if you can't mock the lowlifes
that shop there? Pfft.
69
00:02:36,355 --> 00:02:37,656
If we sell the NordicTrack
70
00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:39,291
and the old-timey
popcorn machine,
71
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:42,394
we'll be able to fit your truck
into the garage.
72
00:02:42,428 --> 00:02:46,565
Okay. I will keep
my nasty thoughts to myself...
73
00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:50,402
Thoughts like
your little carny change belt
74
00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:53,505
makes me wanna empty the coins
into a sock
75
00:02:53,539 --> 00:02:55,473
and beat you over the head.
76
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:58,076
We're off to a good start.
77
00:02:58,410 --> 00:02:59,677
You wanna help?
78
00:02:59,712 --> 00:03:00,912
This yard sale
is the perfect chance
79
00:03:00,946 --> 00:03:02,881
for you to get rid of
some of this crap.
80
00:03:02,915 --> 00:03:04,582
Crap?
81
00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:06,251
Everything on this boat
serves a purpose.
82
00:03:06,285 --> 00:03:07,652
How about this broken TV?
83
00:03:07,686 --> 00:03:08,853
That's my piggy bank.
84
00:03:08,921 --> 00:03:10,655
This... empty paint can?
85
00:03:10,689 --> 00:03:12,390
Early prototype of penny can.
86
00:03:12,424 --> 00:03:13,892
That thing could be in
the hall of fame one day, buddy.
87
00:03:13,926 --> 00:03:15,360
What about this?
88
00:03:15,394 --> 00:03:17,262
What the hell is this?
89
00:03:17,329 --> 00:03:19,631
It sounds like there's
a bunch of dirt in it.
90
00:03:19,698 --> 00:03:21,199
Those are ashes
91
00:03:21,233 --> 00:03:23,935
from your Great-Grandpappy
Robbie Cobb.
92
00:03:23,969 --> 00:03:25,436
Well, that definitely surpasses
the duck skeleton
93
00:03:25,471 --> 00:03:26,671
as the creepiest thing
on the boat.
94
00:03:26,705 --> 00:03:28,473
I was his favorite grandson,
95
00:03:28,507 --> 00:03:31,743
and his dying wish was for me
to scatter those ashes
96
00:03:31,777 --> 00:03:33,811
on a roller coaster.
97
00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:35,480
Crazy as that is,
my main question is,
98
00:03:35,514 --> 00:03:37,715
what is it still doing here?!
99
00:03:37,783 --> 00:03:40,418
I mean, didn't he die, like,
15 years ago?
100
00:03:40,452 --> 00:03:41,686
I've been busy.
101
00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,454
You know, the boat always
needs fixin',
102
00:03:43,489 --> 00:03:47,191
and hanging out with your mom
takes up a big chunk of time,
103
00:03:47,259 --> 00:03:48,793
and I've got beard maintenance.
104
00:03:48,827 --> 00:03:50,428
What-- what's up
with all the questions?
105
00:03:50,462 --> 00:03:52,664
Man, who made you
king of the boat?
106
00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:58,469
Okay, enjoy that bundle
of extension cords.
107
00:03:58,504 --> 00:04:01,172
If you ever get 'em untangled,
you're gonna love 'em.
108
00:04:01,206 --> 00:04:02,707
He's never getting 'em
untangled.
109
00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:04,475
That doesn't bother you,
110
00:04:04,510 --> 00:04:07,412
taking his money for something
that might not work?
111
00:04:07,446 --> 00:04:09,213
Laurie, you don't get
yard sales.
112
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:11,616
People just wanna buy
something for 50 cents.
113
00:04:11,650 --> 00:04:13,818
If the thing works,
it's a bonus.
114
00:04:13,852 --> 00:04:15,887
I don't think that's right,
Jules.
115
00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:18,256
I think that you should think
about karma.
116
00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:20,558
I'm not talking about my friend
Karma Davis,
117
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:22,393
the fiercest female wrestler
in all of Tampa.
118
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:23,861
You know she once put
one of her opponents
119
00:04:23,896 --> 00:04:25,863
in a figure four leg lock
so tight,
120
00:04:25,898 --> 00:04:27,432
they never got out?
121
00:04:27,466 --> 00:04:29,334
They're like
siamese leg twins now.
122
00:04:29,368 --> 00:04:32,303
That is super. I'm gonna
give that some thought.
123
00:04:32,371 --> 00:04:33,838
Check it out!
124
00:04:33,872 --> 00:04:36,741
I got these bagpipes,
125
00:04:36,775 --> 00:04:38,276
this stuffed porcupine,
126
00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:40,578
a stranger's wedding video,
and...
127
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,513
a shake weight!
128
00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:43,781
And to think, if we ever
get divorced,
129
00:04:43,816 --> 00:04:46,451
half of that will be mine.
130
00:04:46,485 --> 00:04:49,954
It's a 50-cent pack of cards.
No need to mull it over.
131
00:04:49,989 --> 00:04:52,523
I thought you weren't gonna
be snarky to the customers.
132
00:04:52,558 --> 00:04:53,825
I thought so, too,
133
00:04:53,859 --> 00:04:55,627
but then a bunch of losers
invaded my yard,
134
00:04:55,661 --> 00:04:57,395
and I changed my mind.
135
00:04:57,429 --> 00:04:59,864
Are you even physically able
to not be snarky?
136
00:04:59,898 --> 00:05:02,333
I am, if I'm not surrounded
by idiots,
137
00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:03,901
which is almost never.
138
00:05:03,969 --> 00:05:05,436
Okay, prove it.
139
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:08,272
If you can be not snarky
for one whole day,
140
00:05:08,340 --> 00:05:11,576
I'll get rid of all this stuff
I bought at the yard sale today.
141
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:13,711
Last five yard sales.
142
00:05:13,746 --> 00:05:16,214
Deal. But if you lose,
143
00:05:16,248 --> 00:05:19,717
you have to wear
this inflatable sumo suit.
144
00:05:23,422 --> 00:05:24,656
Deal.
145
00:05:24,690 --> 00:05:26,324
Hey, Jules.
146
00:05:26,358 --> 00:05:28,493
How's the, uh, suction
on this vacuum?
147
00:05:28,527 --> 00:05:29,727
When I turn it on,
it makes a loud noise.
148
00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:31,729
So I'd say good and sucky.
149
00:05:31,764 --> 00:05:33,431
- I'll take it.
- All right.
150
00:05:33,465 --> 00:05:35,800
- Here you go.
- Hope you love how much it sucks.
151
00:05:35,834 --> 00:05:38,536
You told me that vacuum
barely works.
152
00:05:38,570 --> 00:05:40,905
Well, I decided to focus
on the "Works" part
153
00:05:40,939 --> 00:05:42,440
and ignore the "Barely."
154
00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:46,277
That's just good salesmanship.
155
00:05:46,311 --> 00:05:49,180
Oh. I just got crapped on
by a bird!
156
00:05:49,248 --> 00:05:51,683
No, Jules. That was karma.
157
00:05:51,717 --> 00:05:54,252
You just got crapped on
by karma.
158
00:05:54,286 --> 00:05:55,586
Oh, would you stop it, Laurie?
159
00:05:55,654 --> 00:05:57,789
There's no such thing
as kar... Ugh!
160
00:05:59,591 --> 00:06:02,493
Birds fly in flocks, okay?
161
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,696
That's how it works.
162
00:06:04,730 --> 00:06:07,532
I'm not getting any poop.
163
00:06:07,566 --> 00:06:09,400
Ahoy, landlubber.
164
00:06:09,435 --> 00:06:12,570
Look what I got
at the yard sale for $5.
165
00:06:12,638 --> 00:06:14,505
Don't I make
a great sea captain?
166
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:16,741
Stern! Jib! Scurvy.
167
00:06:16,775 --> 00:06:19,677
You look like a guy wearing
funny clothes.
168
00:06:19,745 --> 00:06:21,813
What if I talked like this?
169
00:06:21,847 --> 00:06:24,215
There's a perfect storm coming.
170
00:06:24,249 --> 00:06:26,884
Park the car in Harvard Yard.
171
00:06:26,919 --> 00:06:28,519
Oi, mate!
172
00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:30,254
Come here.
There's a storm on the brew.
173
00:06:30,289 --> 00:06:31,556
You start sellin' fish sticks?
174
00:06:31,623 --> 00:06:32,890
Dad, I think I know
175
00:06:32,925 --> 00:06:35,293
why you haven't spread
grandpappy's ashes.
176
00:06:35,327 --> 00:06:36,794
You start thinking about
how embarrassing it is
177
00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:38,262
to be descended from a man
178
00:06:38,297 --> 00:06:39,731
that would make
such an insane request,
179
00:06:39,765 --> 00:06:41,733
and you're worried about
how that reflects on you,
180
00:06:41,767 --> 00:06:43,367
and that maybe that says
something negative
181
00:06:43,402 --> 00:06:44,836
about who you are as a man--
182
00:06:44,870 --> 00:06:47,538
Damn it, Travis, I'm afraid
of roller coasters!
183
00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:50,308
Why do you keep torturing me?
184
00:06:50,342 --> 00:06:53,377
Didn't see that coming.
185
00:06:53,412 --> 00:06:55,980
Okay, I got $43 in cash money
186
00:06:56,014 --> 00:06:57,782
and an assload of change.
187
00:06:57,816 --> 00:06:59,250
Oh, it's like a weapon.
188
00:06:59,284 --> 00:07:01,652
Uhh! I could take out
a bear! Mm!
189
00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:04,856
Wow. Great haul.
I couldn't sell anything.
190
00:07:04,890 --> 00:07:06,390
What were you selling?
191
00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:08,726
Oh, the usual--
CDs, dead wife's shoes,
192
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:11,496
used scalpels, forceps,
surgical masks.
193
00:07:11,530 --> 00:07:15,500
Oh, come on, Tom.
Sometimes you just don't think.
194
00:07:15,534 --> 00:07:17,335
You might've boned the sale,
195
00:07:17,369 --> 00:07:19,737
but at least you didn't jank
your karma by lying to everyone.
196
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,672
There's no such thing as karma,
because if there was,
197
00:07:21,707 --> 00:07:24,419
I wouldn't be celebrating
with this bottle of bubbly.
198
00:07:25,410 --> 00:07:28,880
Tippi, no!
199
00:07:32,351 --> 00:07:34,318
I'm not even gonna
say anything.
200
00:07:34,353 --> 00:07:35,953
Okay, you know what? I am.
201
00:07:35,988 --> 00:07:37,722
That was karma!
202
00:07:42,732 --> 00:07:44,800
We are gathered here
to celebrate
203
00:07:44,868 --> 00:07:48,037
the tragically short life
of Big Tippi.
204
00:07:48,071 --> 00:07:49,772
Oh, God.
It just gets harder every time.
205
00:07:49,806 --> 00:07:51,540
Come here.
206
00:07:51,608 --> 00:07:53,442
Look, I know we go through this
pretty much every year,
207
00:07:53,476 --> 00:07:56,045
but, uh, this is insane.
208
00:07:56,079 --> 00:07:57,913
Big Tippi is family.
209
00:07:57,947 --> 00:08:00,015
So zip it, Cap'n Crunch.
210
00:08:00,050 --> 00:08:01,784
Big Tippi,
211
00:08:01,851 --> 00:08:04,820
you were the best thing
to come out of Los Angeles.
212
00:08:04,854 --> 00:08:06,655
Except for
the fake Academy Award I got
213
00:08:06,690 --> 00:08:08,090
for best supporting lover.
214
00:08:09,592 --> 00:08:10,893
There is no greater tragedy
215
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,896
than outliving
your own wine glass.
216
00:08:18,568 --> 00:08:20,669
When did you learn to play
the bagpipes?
217
00:08:22,539 --> 00:08:24,006
Middle school band.
218
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,041
A friend told me it would
help me get girls.
219
00:08:26,076 --> 00:08:27,476
Turned out it really wasn't
a friend.
220
00:08:27,510 --> 00:08:29,478
More like a clever bully.
221
00:08:29,512 --> 00:08:31,714
So sorry about Big Tippi, Jules.
222
00:08:31,781 --> 00:08:33,382
What a terrible accident.
223
00:08:33,450 --> 00:08:35,017
This was no accident.
224
00:08:35,085 --> 00:08:36,919
This was karma.
225
00:08:36,953 --> 00:08:38,487
Your wrestler friend
from Tampa?
226
00:08:38,555 --> 00:08:39,888
No.
227
00:08:40,223 --> 00:08:43,091
No, I lied, and now the universe
is pissed at me.
228
00:08:43,126 --> 00:08:45,160
Laurie, please help me get
the universe to like me again.
229
00:08:45,228 --> 00:08:47,295
At least you're honoring
Tippi's memory
230
00:08:47,330 --> 00:08:50,732
and not wussing out because
you're afraid of a loop-de-loop.
231
00:08:52,368 --> 00:08:55,704
Ordinarily, I'd be machine gun
snarking this moment.
232
00:09:03,713 --> 00:09:06,314
That's just about
the saddest game of penny can
233
00:09:06,349 --> 00:09:07,749
I've ever seen.
234
00:09:09,085 --> 00:09:10,986
So you're afraid
of roller coasters.
235
00:09:11,020 --> 00:09:12,721
Ever since I was a little kid.
236
00:09:12,755 --> 00:09:16,358
You know, I just can't stand
those big, loopy rickety...
237
00:09:16,392 --> 00:09:19,327
Dad, I think I know what to do
about Grandpappy Cobb.
238
00:09:19,395 --> 00:09:22,197
- What, throw him in dumpster
and forget the whole thing? - Nope.
239
00:09:22,231 --> 00:09:25,133
You're gonna get over your fear
of roller coasters.
240
00:09:25,168 --> 00:09:27,302
Sorry, son. I just can't.
241
00:09:27,336 --> 00:09:30,238
Not even for a good man
like Grandpappy Cobb.
242
00:09:30,273 --> 00:09:33,708
He taught me the difference
between a sea lion and a seal.
243
00:09:33,743 --> 00:09:35,911
The ears, Trav.
244
00:09:35,945 --> 00:09:37,746
Ears.
245
00:09:37,780 --> 00:09:39,347
He deserved better.
246
00:09:39,382 --> 00:09:41,783
And that's why I'm gonna
help you beat this thing.
247
00:09:41,851 --> 00:09:43,118
Yeah? How?
248
00:09:43,152 --> 00:09:44,953
Technology.
249
00:09:44,987 --> 00:09:47,823
I'm gonna die! Stop the ride!
250
00:09:47,890 --> 00:09:49,391
You're doing great!
251
00:09:49,425 --> 00:09:52,160
Trav, I'm gonna die! Please!
252
00:09:52,195 --> 00:09:53,428
Hey, hon.
253
00:09:53,463 --> 00:09:55,230
How's your day
of no snark goin'?
254
00:09:55,264 --> 00:09:57,732
- I am managing.
- Oh, that's great,
255
00:09:57,767 --> 00:09:59,067
'cause I got some stuff
I wanna show you
256
00:09:59,102 --> 00:10:00,402
that I got from the yard sale.
257
00:10:00,470 --> 00:10:04,005
How do you like
my pink fuzzy bathrobe
258
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,208
and my 1970s era
259
00:10:06,242 --> 00:10:08,276
wacky Elton John glasses?
260
00:10:08,344 --> 00:10:09,711
Hmm?
261
00:10:09,779 --> 00:10:11,179
I...
262
00:10:11,247 --> 00:10:14,116
love... I love it.
263
00:10:14,183 --> 00:10:15,884
Then you won't mind
if I get cheeky
264
00:10:15,918 --> 00:10:17,886
and dance around a little bit,
will you?
265
00:10:20,056 --> 00:10:23,358
I feel so free and light.
266
00:10:23,392 --> 00:10:26,761
Honey, if you do good deeds
for other people,
267
00:10:26,796 --> 00:10:28,063
good things will happen
for you.
268
00:10:28,097 --> 00:10:29,731
Like this one time
I was at a club,
269
00:10:29,765 --> 00:10:31,199
and a girl needed a shirt,
270
00:10:31,234 --> 00:10:33,034
so I literally gave her
the shirt off of my back.
271
00:10:33,069 --> 00:10:36,104
Next thing I know, guys are
stuffing money into my pants.
272
00:10:36,139 --> 00:10:38,106
A-boom! Textbook karma.
273
00:10:38,141 --> 00:10:40,709
Good deeds. That's easy.
274
00:10:40,743 --> 00:10:42,410
Oh, here. Let me help you
with that, handsome.
275
00:10:42,478 --> 00:10:44,179
Oh.
276
00:10:44,213 --> 00:10:45,447
- Wow.
- There you go.
277
00:10:45,481 --> 00:10:46,982
Oh, thanks, Jules.
278
00:10:47,049 --> 00:10:49,117
So long, social anxiety!
279
00:10:49,152 --> 00:10:50,785
Okay.
280
00:10:50,820 --> 00:10:53,188
- I've so got this.
- Yeah.
281
00:10:59,128 --> 00:11:00,295
Let me help you with these.
282
00:11:00,329 --> 00:11:02,464
Here you go. For you.
283
00:11:04,834 --> 00:11:07,002
All right, take a step up.
284
00:11:07,036 --> 00:11:09,704
All right. Have a nice day.
285
00:11:14,343 --> 00:11:17,379
Okay. Here I come!
286
00:11:17,413 --> 00:11:19,447
Here is a beautiful
3-bedroom, 3-bath colonial
287
00:11:19,482 --> 00:11:21,750
in Gulfhaven Prime.
288
00:11:21,784 --> 00:11:23,385
Okay, I have to tell you--
289
00:11:23,419 --> 00:11:25,287
the electrical is shot,
and the kitchen cabinets are...
290
00:11:25,321 --> 00:11:27,088
Crapsville.
291
00:11:27,123 --> 00:11:28,757
Oh, also, there was a murder
in the house ten years ago
292
00:11:28,791 --> 00:11:30,025
in the basement.
293
00:11:30,059 --> 00:11:32,327
Now, honestly,
I've never seen a ghost,
294
00:11:32,361 --> 00:11:34,229
but don't ask me about
the possums.
295
00:11:34,263 --> 00:11:37,999
Okay, it's like they're building
a secret army.
296
00:11:41,003 --> 00:11:43,338
Oh, man, this is going fast!
297
00:11:43,372 --> 00:11:44,806
Laurie, more wind!
298
00:11:46,509 --> 00:11:48,443
Cue stuff falling out
of pockets!
299
00:11:48,477 --> 00:11:51,213
- Oh!
- Uh-oh! This lady forgot to zip her purse.
300
00:11:51,247 --> 00:11:52,847
Aah!
301
00:11:52,882 --> 00:11:54,249
Letting you put this
green screen in my apartment
302
00:11:54,283 --> 00:11:55,951
was one of the worst mistakes
of my life--
303
00:11:55,985 --> 00:11:58,386
and I was went on vacation
with Dennis Rodman, y'all.
304
00:11:58,454 --> 00:12:01,022
Oh, no! No, man,
not the corkscrew!
305
00:12:01,057 --> 00:12:03,959
- Trav, stop it! Trav, stop it!
- Dad!
306
00:12:03,993 --> 00:12:05,460
Dad, you were doing so good.
307
00:12:05,494 --> 00:12:07,262
Good at almost
crapping my pants!
308
00:12:07,296 --> 00:12:09,431
I can't do it, Trav!
309
00:12:12,201 --> 00:12:13,802
You know, Ellie,
310
00:12:13,836 --> 00:12:15,837
I was starting to think
that my captain's outfit
311
00:12:15,871 --> 00:12:17,305
wasn't working for me.
312
00:12:17,340 --> 00:12:18,807
You're into it, aren't you?
313
00:12:18,841 --> 00:12:20,775
Can't answer now.
314
00:12:20,810 --> 00:12:22,978
But... please,
315
00:12:23,012 --> 00:12:25,247
please wear it again tomorrow.
316
00:12:25,314 --> 00:12:27,482
Aye aye, Captain.
317
00:12:27,516 --> 00:12:30,418
Oh, there you are!
318
00:12:32,121 --> 00:12:33,788
If I didn't know any better...
319
00:12:33,823 --> 00:12:35,390
I'd think you were avoiding me.
320
00:12:35,424 --> 00:12:39,461
Oh, look. I'm one of those
blue guys that destroys stuff.
321
00:12:42,198 --> 00:12:45,066
Somehow that passes
for theater.
322
00:12:45,101 --> 00:12:47,769
Wait. You set me up.
323
00:12:47,803 --> 00:12:49,938
You started this bet
so you could buy
324
00:12:49,972 --> 00:12:53,441
loads of yard sale crap,
and I couldn't make fun of you.
325
00:12:53,476 --> 00:12:56,411
Yes, I did.
But a bet is a bet.
326
00:12:56,445 --> 00:12:59,314
Hey, does anyone have the time?
327
00:12:59,348 --> 00:13:02,050
It's 3:00, boy!
328
00:13:06,389 --> 00:13:10,225
I did so many good deeds today,
my karma is through the roof.
329
00:13:10,259 --> 00:13:12,794
Ah! I could probably murder
somebody and get away with it.
330
00:13:12,828 --> 00:13:15,930
It was so nice of you
331
00:13:15,965 --> 00:13:17,999
to take that homeless man
out to lunch.
332
00:13:18,067 --> 00:13:20,702
I have never seen a hobo
so happy.
333
00:13:20,736 --> 00:13:22,704
Or, you know,
a restaurant manager so angry.
334
00:13:22,738 --> 00:13:24,105
How was I supposed to know
335
00:13:24,140 --> 00:13:25,674
he was gonna take a bath
in the lobster tank?
336
00:13:25,741 --> 00:13:27,142
Well, the important thing is,
337
00:13:27,209 --> 00:13:29,811
he got his steak fajitas,
and I fixed my karma.
338
00:13:29,845 --> 00:13:32,514
Bring on the good, universe.
339
00:13:39,188 --> 00:13:41,856
What the hell, karma?!
340
00:13:45,981 --> 00:13:48,549
That was fun.
341
00:13:48,583 --> 00:13:50,417
Does the car in your office
have anything to do with
342
00:13:50,452 --> 00:13:52,786
that guy sitting on the curb
with a foil blanket?
343
00:13:52,854 --> 00:13:54,054
That's the driver.
344
00:13:54,089 --> 00:13:55,890
Apparently he was
texting and driving--
345
00:13:55,957 --> 00:13:57,625
something I would never do.
346
00:13:57,659 --> 00:13:59,894
Although I have taken
the occasional driving selfie.
347
00:13:59,928 --> 00:14:02,796
When the wind hits your hair
at 70 miles an hour...
348
00:14:02,831 --> 00:14:04,999
it is, like, next-level hot.
349
00:14:05,033 --> 00:14:07,535
I did so much good stuff.
350
00:14:07,569 --> 00:14:09,770
What else could karma want?
351
00:14:09,838 --> 00:14:11,672
Should we get a ouija board
and ask her?
352
00:14:11,706 --> 00:14:13,941
I have spent half the day
biting my tongue
353
00:14:13,975 --> 00:14:17,778
so I don't have to dress up like
a fat Japanese man in a thong.
354
00:14:17,812 --> 00:14:20,314
If you guys could pull back
on the crazy talk,
355
00:14:20,348 --> 00:14:21,949
that would be great.
356
00:14:21,983 --> 00:14:24,518
Laurie, what am I gonna do?
357
00:14:24,553 --> 00:14:27,054
This may require
an insane amount of charity--
358
00:14:27,088 --> 00:14:28,956
and I'm not talking about
Charity Diaz,
359
00:14:29,024 --> 00:14:30,591
my latina doppelganger.
360
00:14:30,659 --> 00:14:32,593
Ugh. That bitch is always
running around town
361
00:14:32,627 --> 00:14:34,895
with her blonde extensions
and her day-glo push-ups bras
362
00:14:34,930 --> 00:14:36,497
and she's like, "¿Qué, qué?"
363
00:14:36,531 --> 00:14:37,798
Ugh!
364
00:14:37,832 --> 00:14:40,000
I've gotta leave
right this second.
365
00:14:46,408 --> 00:14:49,843
So how'd you get here so
fast with the chair stuck to you?
366
00:14:49,878 --> 00:14:51,745
I coasted on the downhill parts.
367
00:14:51,780 --> 00:14:53,881
I saw you zooming through town.
368
00:14:53,915 --> 00:14:55,583
You came really close to hitting
those two construction guys
369
00:14:55,617 --> 00:14:57,718
carrying that
giant pane of glass.
370
00:14:57,752 --> 00:14:59,653
What kind of loser is so afraid
of roller coasters
371
00:14:59,721 --> 00:15:03,424
where he can't even honor his
beloved grandfather's last wish?
372
00:15:03,458 --> 00:15:06,560
Okay, dad,
I have a confession to make.
373
00:15:06,595 --> 00:15:09,597
I'm afraid
of roller coasters, too.
374
00:15:09,631 --> 00:15:12,333
Ah, you're just saying that
to make me feel better.
375
00:15:12,367 --> 00:15:14,368
Mnh-mnh.
376
00:15:14,402 --> 00:15:16,370
Why didn't you tell me before?
377
00:15:16,404 --> 00:15:18,505
Because it's
incredibly embarrassing.
378
00:15:18,540 --> 00:15:20,040
So I passed that onto you?
379
00:15:20,075 --> 00:15:22,843
God, I guess coaster fear
is in my DNA.
380
00:15:22,911 --> 00:15:25,546
Yeah, it could be genetic.
Or...
381
00:15:25,580 --> 00:15:27,915
Sure, we can go
on the coaster, Trav.
382
00:15:27,949 --> 00:15:29,650
But you should know
383
00:15:29,684 --> 00:15:32,286
there's a bogeyman waitin'
for us on the first hill.
384
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,854
Yeah, let's go for a ride!
385
00:15:33,888 --> 00:15:36,991
I'm sure somebody put back
that missing piece of track.
386
00:15:37,025 --> 00:15:38,692
When we hit the loop,
keep your mouth closed
387
00:15:38,727 --> 00:15:40,060
'cause there's 100% chance
388
00:15:40,095 --> 00:15:42,896
some dude's puke is gonna
fly in your face.
389
00:15:42,931 --> 00:15:45,599
Trav, I am so sorry.
390
00:15:45,634 --> 00:15:48,035
It's okay, dad.
I forgive you.
391
00:15:48,103 --> 00:15:50,971
And I love you,
and when you love someone,
392
00:15:51,039 --> 00:15:53,807
you step in when
they need it most.
393
00:15:53,842 --> 00:15:55,042
What are you doing?
394
00:15:55,076 --> 00:15:58,245
Going to the amusement park,
for you
395
00:15:58,313 --> 00:16:01,715
and for Grandpappy Cobb.
396
00:16:01,783 --> 00:16:03,317
So touching.
397
00:16:03,351 --> 00:16:04,785
40 bucks says he hurls.
398
00:16:08,289 --> 00:16:10,290
Did your mom pick out
that outfit for you?
399
00:16:10,325 --> 00:16:11,725
She's an idiot!
400
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:13,927
Sorry. Built-up snark.
401
00:16:13,962 --> 00:16:16,830
Nice goatee, stone temple loser.
402
00:16:16,865 --> 00:16:18,866
Adult braces? Good call, yeah.
403
00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:21,402
Hey, granola,
it's called deodorant.
404
00:16:21,436 --> 00:16:23,837
Nice spray tan, Jersey short.
405
00:16:23,905 --> 00:16:27,007
Hey, jackass,
you ever think about...
406
00:16:27,042 --> 00:16:29,977
how handsome you are? Wow.
407
00:16:30,011 --> 00:16:31,578
Really, Ellie?
Getting your snark fix
408
00:16:31,613 --> 00:16:33,647
on all the innocent people
of Gulfhaven?
409
00:16:33,682 --> 00:16:34,948
Are you following me?
410
00:16:34,983 --> 00:16:37,317
Yes, I am, Ellie-San.
411
00:16:37,352 --> 00:16:40,954
Now let's get you dressed up
like a butt-flossed fatso.
412
00:16:40,989 --> 00:16:42,623
Considering I lost
413
00:16:42,691 --> 00:16:45,492
and I am no longer restricted
by this bet,
414
00:16:45,527 --> 00:16:48,796
do you think it's wise
to taunt me?
415
00:16:48,830 --> 00:16:50,664
No, ma'am.
416
00:16:52,767 --> 00:16:54,368
- What are you doing?
- I'm gonna shave my head.
417
00:16:54,402 --> 00:16:56,269
I'm gonna donate
my hair to the needy.
418
00:16:56,337 --> 00:16:57,804
Jules, this may sound crazy
419
00:16:57,839 --> 00:16:59,072
coming from a guy
in a captain's outfit,
420
00:16:59,107 --> 00:17:01,641
but, uh, have you lost
your mind?
421
00:17:01,676 --> 00:17:02,843
I mean...
422
00:17:02,910 --> 00:17:04,678
What's going on?
423
00:17:04,746 --> 00:17:07,647
Well, ever since I lied
to sell stuff at the yard sale,
424
00:17:07,682 --> 00:17:08,982
so many bad things
have been happening.
425
00:17:09,017 --> 00:17:10,283
I just feel like
I've been cursed
426
00:17:10,318 --> 00:17:12,786
with some kind of bad mojo.
427
00:17:12,820 --> 00:17:15,622
"Cursed" and "Mojo"? Jules,
that doesn't sound like you.
428
00:17:15,690 --> 00:17:16,990
Laurie maybe.
429
00:17:17,025 --> 00:17:18,658
Oh, well,
she's my spiritual coach.
430
00:17:18,693 --> 00:17:20,160
And we are zeroing in
on the problem.
431
00:17:20,194 --> 00:17:21,962
Jules, you really can't think
that the universe
432
00:17:21,996 --> 00:17:23,797
is conspiring against you.
433
00:17:23,831 --> 00:17:25,132
Of course not.
434
00:17:25,199 --> 00:17:27,067
I mean, probably not.
435
00:17:27,101 --> 00:17:29,036
Unless it definitely is.
436
00:17:29,070 --> 00:17:30,904
Maybe this karma thing
is crazy,
437
00:17:30,938 --> 00:17:33,940
but before the yard sale, I was
blessed with such good luck.
438
00:17:33,975 --> 00:17:35,909
You know, my dad's health
was getting better.
439
00:17:35,977 --> 00:17:37,844
Travis and Laurie
are doing great.
440
00:17:37,879 --> 00:17:39,713
I'm married to an amazing man
441
00:17:39,747 --> 00:17:42,182
who usually doesn't walk around
looking like a massive dork.
442
00:17:42,216 --> 00:17:44,351
This is a cool jacket,
and I am a cool guy.
443
00:17:44,385 --> 00:17:46,753
How can this combination
not be working?
444
00:17:46,788 --> 00:17:49,222
- Sorry. Back to your thing.
- I don't know.
445
00:17:49,290 --> 00:17:50,791
I just feel like
the idea of karma
446
00:17:50,825 --> 00:17:53,160
gives me control over
the bad things.
447
00:17:53,194 --> 00:17:56,063
No one can control what
the world throws at them, okay?
448
00:17:56,097 --> 00:17:57,898
But what we can control--
449
00:17:57,932 --> 00:17:59,633
except in parts of India--
450
00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:01,802
is who we choose to be with.
451
00:18:01,836 --> 00:18:03,804
So when life hits
a rough patch,
452
00:18:03,838 --> 00:18:06,173
you don't reach for
the clippers.
453
00:18:06,207 --> 00:18:08,942
You lean on
the people you love.
454
00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:11,144
♪ ...a long way yet to go ♪
455
00:18:11,212 --> 00:18:14,181
- Oh! Even if they smell like mothballs?
- What?
456
00:18:14,215 --> 00:18:16,049
♪ so let's start over ♪
457
00:18:16,084 --> 00:18:17,784
I love you.
458
00:18:17,819 --> 00:18:20,020
I guess I do have
a great support team, don't I?
459
00:18:20,054 --> 00:18:21,655
We all do.
460
00:18:21,689 --> 00:18:23,156
I mean, it's like Travis going
on that roller coaster
461
00:18:23,191 --> 00:18:24,591
to help Bobby.
462
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:27,160
Travis is going on
a roller coaster?!
463
00:18:28,863 --> 00:18:31,298
Okay, you can do this.
It's just a roller coaster.
464
00:18:31,332 --> 00:18:32,933
Nobody's ever died on it.
465
00:18:32,967 --> 00:18:35,735
Which means it's long overdue.
466
00:18:35,770 --> 00:18:38,238
Trav! Wait! Don't do this!
467
00:18:38,272 --> 00:18:39,940
- Okay, I won't!
- No, no, no.
468
00:18:39,974 --> 00:18:41,975
Don't do this by yourself.
We're gonna do this together.
469
00:18:42,009 --> 00:18:43,743
For Grandpappy Cobb.
470
00:18:43,778 --> 00:18:45,245
♪ but I'm feeling ♪
471
00:18:45,279 --> 00:18:48,715
You're a good kid, Trav.
He'd be so proud of you.
472
00:18:48,749 --> 00:18:51,985
Now let's ride this bad boy!
There's nothing to be afraid of.
473
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:56,022
Okay, now that operator's,
like, 12 years old, man.
474
00:18:56,057 --> 00:18:58,091
That can't possibly be safe!
475
00:18:58,159 --> 00:18:59,292
♪ coffee's on ♪
476
00:18:59,327 --> 00:19:00,760
It's okay. I've got you.
477
00:19:00,795 --> 00:19:02,195
Mom, what are you doing here?
478
00:19:02,230 --> 00:19:03,830
We came to support you.
479
00:19:03,865 --> 00:19:05,165
♪ color in your eyes ♪
480
00:19:05,199 --> 00:19:06,800
All of you?
481
00:19:06,834 --> 00:19:08,001
That's right, pasty face.
482
00:19:08,035 --> 00:19:10,070
Hey, watch it, wide load.
483
00:19:10,104 --> 00:19:11,705
Sumo hip check!
484
00:19:11,739 --> 00:19:13,006
Ohh!
485
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:15,041
Ooh.
486
00:19:15,076 --> 00:19:17,811
That was so hot.
487
00:19:17,879 --> 00:19:19,946
Excuse me. No, we gotta do this
now or it's not gonna happen.
488
00:19:19,981 --> 00:19:21,248
Hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
489
00:19:21,282 --> 00:19:22,716
Um, excuse me.
I saw you cut the line.
490
00:19:22,783 --> 00:19:24,684
So, uh, get to the back.
Right now.
491
00:19:24,719 --> 00:19:25,952
- We're losing him.
- Whoa, dad!
492
00:19:25,987 --> 00:19:29,055
It's okay, young man.
This is an emergency.
493
00:19:29,090 --> 00:19:30,657
Oh. Um, Captain,
I didn't see you there.
494
00:19:30,691 --> 00:19:32,893
Please, um, hop on board.
495
00:19:34,362 --> 00:19:36,363
Great save, Captain.
496
00:19:36,397 --> 00:19:38,598
Thanks. You sure you're not
worried about bad karma?
497
00:19:38,633 --> 00:19:40,600
I mean, we just got in front of,
like, hundreds of people.
498
00:19:40,635 --> 00:19:42,369
No, we were just doing it
to support our friends.
499
00:19:42,403 --> 00:19:44,337
Besides, I don't really
believe in karma.
500
00:19:44,372 --> 00:19:45,939
Good.
501
00:19:46,007 --> 00:19:47,307
But maybe don't say that
right as we get on
502
00:19:47,341 --> 00:19:49,576
a decades-old carnival ride.
503
00:19:49,644 --> 00:19:50,977
All right, Grandpappy Cobb,
504
00:19:51,012 --> 00:19:52,879
- let's get you scattered!
- Yeah!
505
00:19:52,947 --> 00:19:56,049
If Bobby's scattering the ashes,
why is he in the front?
506
00:19:56,083 --> 00:19:57,884
Bobby, wait!
507
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,567
Thanks for coming, everyone.
508
00:20:04,602 --> 00:20:06,970
We've mourned our loss,
and now it is time to move on.
509
00:20:07,004 --> 00:20:09,939
Also, I really need to wash
Grandpappy Cobb out of my mouth.
510
00:20:10,007 --> 00:20:11,341
Ditto that.
511
00:20:11,375 --> 00:20:12,976
I'm an ashy mess.
512
00:20:13,010 --> 00:20:14,611
Okay, let's get on with it.
513
00:20:14,645 --> 00:20:18,648
Please welcome our newest member
of the gang...
514
00:20:18,682 --> 00:20:19,983
Big Chuck.
515
00:20:20,050 --> 00:20:21,818
- Ah, Big Chuck!
- Big Chuck!
516
00:20:22,186 --> 00:20:23,886
Okay, I'm just gonna say it.
517
00:20:23,921 --> 00:20:25,955
Does it have to be that big?
Really?
518
00:20:26,023 --> 00:20:28,024
I mean, eventually, it's gonna
just tumble to the earth
519
00:20:28,058 --> 00:20:29,592
and crash in a storm of glass,
520
00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:31,661
which I'm gonna have to
clean up.
521
00:20:31,695 --> 00:20:35,565
Oh. Okay, really, I'm--
I'm the crazy one? Okay.
522
00:20:35,599 --> 00:20:38,034
We'll miss you, Big Tippi.
523
00:20:52,123 --> 00:20:55,577
_
524
00:20:56,091 --> 00:20:59,000
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
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