All language subtitles for Boston Legal - 5x02 - Guardians and Gatekeepers.HDTV.en

Previously on Boston Legal...

I have a 80% chance
of getting Alzheimer's.

It's not like I'll
remember it. Mad Cow!

I have Weak Stream Syndrome.

DIrritable bowels.

Denny Crane.

- Grammy!
- Marlena ...

I am in big trouble,
Grammy. I need your help.

Melvin Palmer.
How are you?

Attaboy. You're still a
hoot, that's what you are.

Hell, I get paid, win or lose.

No reason this can't be a "win/win."

I just made more money...
that's what I did.

How is it she ended up
at a Pennsylvania prison?

Well, it's a private facility...

one that we signed off on because
it provided drug counseling.

Was she an addict?

I don't think she's an addict,

but cocaine possession at 15...
it's not an encouraging sign.

Anyway,the facility claimed that

all of their guards had degrees in
juvenile justice, child psychology.

The guard who raped her didn't
even have a high school diploma!

- Okay.
- I don't understand

why they're not anxious to settle.

I mean, what could
their defense possibly be?

Well, prisons, private or otherwise,
aren't held strictly liable.

We'd have to show negligence.

Which basically means
we'd have to prove

they failed to exercise a reasonable
standard of care, using industry standards.

My feeling is that they will settle,

but only after the necessary
amount of posturing.

Sorry I'm late. I took
Storrow instead of surface.

Jerry, my man! How are you,
my friend? Big hug. Ooohhh!

I run on hugs... that's what
I do.Melvin Palmer. Wow!

You are a fetching young
lass, that's what you are.

Am I right, Jerry?
Two pops for yes.

Attaboy. So, what've we got?

You must be the father
of the girl.Tell ya what...

let's fast-forward past the point where
you tell me this is a terrible thing.

No need. See? Unlike the
average GOP fundraiser,

I don't think there's
anything fun about a rape.

Hey, how's my buddy,
Al... that big hoot?

What I'm gonna do is make you two
offers. One's great; the other, better.

Here's the number;
it'll make your eyes pop.

Now, I've got another
number here in my briefcase,

either bigger or smaller than that one.

You tell me what you wanna do.

Ya like whatcha see here?
Just say,"Deal."

If you don't like it, I open the briefcase,
and you get the other number.

So, what's it gonna be, Big Daddy?

My God! His daughter was raped!
You've turned it into a game show!

Life is nothing but a
sweepstakes... that's what I say.

I tell you. I'm gonna let
you open the briefcase,

�cause you're fetching... that's what
you are. You just hold it up like so.

God, it's good to see you!
One pop, for old time's sake.

Hey, I'll take a stomp instead.
So, what's it gonna be, Dad?

Deal or no deal?

Boston Legal S05 ep02

Hi, Grammy!

Oh, God. What have you done now?

Nice. That's how you
greet your granddaughter?

Sorry, sweetheart.
How're you doing?

Oh, I got arrested.

Just tell me it's not a felony.

Oh, I committed the
utmost act of patriotism.

So, it is a felony.

It seems that, because I care
about the future of our country,

because I care that the
National Debt is 9.4 trillion,

because I care that 47 million Americans
are without health insurance...

Just tell me what you did.

I voted in the primary.

You're 17.

Oh. Yes. I'm 17;
I shouldn't get a voice.

Meanwhile, Toothless-in-Podunk
who can't even read a ballot

gets to decide a swing state...
that makes total sense.

Oh, hey! It's the old guy!

Oh, Carl. Do you think you could
help me with my granddaughter, Marlena?

It seems she voted in the primary.

Well, well, well, well, weeelllll. Yum.

Okay. Serious ick.

Denny, you remember my
granddaughter, Marlena.

DOhhh. Clearly, you're as hot
as granny... are you as nasty?

Very funny, Denny!

Okay, you can get up
now. No, stay down.

Denny.

Oh, he's faking.

- Denny?
- He's not breathing.

Denny?

- He's not breathing.
- Call 9-1-1!

Denny, if this is a joke...

Denny!

Denny!

I'm fine!

You're going to the hospital.

I just fainted; that's all.

Denny, you stopped breathing!
We had to give you mouth-to-mouth.

Denny Crane: Who gave
it to me? Shirley?

Me.

Oh, God! Take me to the hospital.

Let's go.

I'm coming with you.

Just don't kiss me.

Two twenty-five seems
a little low for a rape.

You know what? There is no amount
of money that would be enough.

A fifteen-year-old girl? A million
seems low... am I right, Jerry?

Gee, I'm not sure, Mel. Why dontcha
offer a mil? I'll letcha know.

You see, Mr. Addario,

I have to evaluate cases using your more
objective jury verdict research.

Comes down to tables,
statistics, numbers.

Ask me, it's offensive to quantify
something like a rape with money values,

but that's the way the law works.

My computation values
this case around 1.5.

Hell, you must have one of
those plaintiff's calculators...

that's what you must have!

Maybe we should just... spin the wheel.

The thing is, when I factor
in all the variables here...

which I would be required to do,
you see,as defendant's counsel...

225 would be the number.
All payable today, by the way.

Exactly what variables do you mean?

Well, do I really need to say it?

Afraid you do.

Okay. Obviously, Ms. Addario was
quite traumatized by all this.

Hell, I've never even met her,

but my suspicion is settlement
conferences and the like

would bring back a trauma that she
would just as soon forget... am I right?

Nobody here wants to put her
through the ordeal of a trial.

You know the questions
I would be obligated to ask.

How she found her assailant
attractive. How she flirted with him.

How she perhaps stoked the passions
that ultimately overtook his free will.

There is no way in hell

a loving father would ever subject her
to all the ugliness that goes with a trial,

and, see, without her testimony,

you'd have a hard time getting
any judgment... that's what I know.

And, knowing that,
the number is 225.

You're disgusting.

You know, Missy,

I get that a lot.

I'm actually okay with it,
which is something you might consider.

I mean, who wants to
subject that poor girl

to a disgusting lawyer
who's willing to tear her up,

and do... perhaps... irreparable
psychological damage.

I certainly don't
want that. Do you?

What do you mean, she voted?

She falsified her birth year,registered,
and voted in the Democratic primary,

and if we hadn't caught her, she
would be voting in the general election.

Why don't we prosecute the
lazy asses who don't vote?

Maybe charge them with dereliction
of civic duty? There's an idea.

Young lady! You will
speak when spoken to.

Your Honor, could we
just plea this out?

Give her a fine, slap her with some
community service, and we can all go home.

What kind of lawyering is that?

It's not just that she voted, Judge.

She has a YouTube posting where
she encourages other minors to vote,

and offers instructions on how
to falsify registration forms.

- One year in jail!
- What?

Whoa! Now, I admittedly haven't
read all of the... the Patriot Act,

but I'm pretty sure that you can't find
somebody guilty without a trial.

I could be wrong.

Toxic shock?

Your blood tests show a
lot of drugs in your system.

How many medications are you on?

I dunno. Thirty, forty.

- What?
- Thirty or forty?

- My God!
- Is that a lot?

Why are you taking them?

I dunno. You name it, uh...

acid reflux, weak stream,

restless leg, hemorrhoids,
irritable bowel, uh,

memory, cholesterol,
blood pressure.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
These drugs can interact.

No; I keep them in separate bottles.

Do they make one for common sense?

Where the hell are you
getting your medical advice?

- Television.
- Television.

For God's sake, Denny!

What? They wouldn't advertise
it if it wasn't safe.

Mr. Crane, you very nearly died.

You're lucky you didn't die.

Really? Whoops.

After my mother died,
I started ... using.

I don't know if I
was addicted, but...

You were arrested and convicted
for possession of cocaine?

Yes. I was given two choices:
Go to a juvenile detention facility

or choose the private route which
promised treatment... which we opted for.

What happened at that facility?

I was raped by a guard.

Lauren, I know this is difficult, and...

Have you ever been raped, Miss Lloyd?

No.

Then, please don't tell me you know.

Okay. Can you try to help me...

I should say, the jury...
understand what happened that day?

A guard... who was not
a trained professional,

but instead a "paid by
the hour" employee...

came into my cell,

pinned me down by my neck,

pulled my pants down ...

Was there anyone else around?

No.

The others were at
recreation outside somewhere.

I was held in for
disciplinary infraction.

I won't pretend to know or
even imagine the horror of...

May I ask: Did you know this guard?

I knew him.

In fact, you had a rather close
friendship with him, didn't you?

Obviously I didn't see him
as the monster that he was.

I understand.

Had you ever kissed him
before this incident?

Yes.

In fact, the day he came into
your cell, you two kissed...

consensually. Am I right?

I never consented to be raped.

Of course not.

You said you were held inside
for a disciplinary infraction.

What was that disciplinary infraction?

I went into an area where
I was not supposed to be.

You snuck off to rendezvous
with this part-time guard.

One last question:
During this attack,

did you scream?

He said if I made
a sound, he'd kill me.

So you never cried out for help.

Nothing further.

Sue the drug company?

They almost killed me!
You heard the doctor.

Even so.

How ��bout I sue the one that markets 16 of
the 42 prescriptions I was taking?

Denny, the question would be: How could
they predict you'd eat them like jelly beans?

Alan, have you seen the television ads?

Alan Shore: Yes, I've seen them.

They list out the side effects like
they're reading the telephone book,

but the benefits get
all the bells and whistles.

They nearly killed me.
I wanna sue.

Let's get ��em.

But you can't deny that
you broke the law here.

Civil disobedience.
Pure and simple.

It's what started this country
and one might look at me as a hero.

Or one might look at you as
a person who committed a crime,

punishable by up to 5 years in jail.

Ohhh, so I can't vote, but
for the purpose of locking me up,

suddenly I'm an adult.
Isn't that conVENient?

How fair is it for me to be excluded
from the democratic process

when we make no such exclusion for drug
addicts, the mentally handicapped,

or senior Floridians who
"accidentally" voted for Buchanan?

Do you think that you understand
the complexities of, uh,

immigration, the economic recession,
the Middle East balance of power, that the... ?

Oh, I think I understand it some.
Do you think most American voters do?

Aren't you sick of people not
voting for a candidate because, hey,

they don't think that they could have
a beer with him, or he's a lousy bowler,

or her pantsuits aren't flattering?

- I am a lot more informed than...
- Maybe you're an exception.

- Most 17-year-olds are...
- Are what?

How do you finish that sentence without
some little nugget of ageism?

I mean, I'm old enough to be a parent.
I'm old enough to get an abortion...

and that is a decision far
more complicated and difficult

than making a check on
a ballot box based solely on

whether there's a D or an R next to
a candidate's name, which is what most people do.

I mean, you wanna give me a test?

Make me take a class, make
me earn my right to vote? Fine.

I'll do it.

But don't just say
No way" because I'm 17.

Joan of Arc led an army
at 17, and I'm cuter. Way.

Katie Lloyd: What's really
nauseating is he's good.

The jury seem to be with him.

He's very good, but we'll get him.

Wait ��til I get that defendant
on the stand. He's muffin.

Jerry Espenson: I mean, toast.

You seem to be more confident lately.

You... you merely twiddle the wooden
cigarette instead of sucking it;

and in court, your hands are in your
pockets instead of on your thighs; and...

and your clothes... you're
dressing more ... upscale.

New therapist. New Jerry.

You're not gonna leave the old
Jerry completely behind, are you?

No.

You really think you
can get the defendant ?

New Jerry in town.
He's bagel. Toast.

We actually operate many private prisons,
as well as our juvenile detention facilities.

Our safety and crime record is typically
superior to the state facilities.

But just to be clear, you're
in this for profit, right?

Yes. We're for profit.
We're a business.

There's nothing wrong with capitalism.

Just the opposite: public prisons
are weighed down with bureaucracy.

They have archaic civil service rules
that they have to go by. We don't.

We've streamlined the entire process,

right from construction,
all the way to human resources.

We've even eliminated
all the red tape.

Simply put: We can build a better
prison for less money, and we do.

Okay, but sir, how is it

that a 15-year-old inmate could
get attacked by one of your guards?

Well, this was a rogue guard.

Sorry to say, but every prison...
public or private... has them.

But I can tell you that
we do screen our employees.

He had no history of violent or sex crime,
and there was no way to predict this.

I can also tell you that our screening
process rivals or surpasses the ones

used by the state operated facilities.

As for rogue guards, they're
just a reality of prison life.

When we say, "for profit,"
how much profit are we talking about?

Objection. Relevancy.

I think we'd like to explore whether
these savings afforded them a better opportunity to,

say,prevent the 15-year-olds
from getting raped...

Objection! That's inflammatory.

Rapes are an inflammatory
thing, Mel, don't you agree?

Two pops for yes.

- Mr. Espenson.
- Sorry, Judge;

I'm a chip off the old hoot.
Exactly how much moolah do you make?

We made about three hundred and
fifty million dollars this past year.

That's kind of a lot.
Don't you agree, Mel?

One pop; three if you love me.

You throw any of it
toward training your guards?

Of course we do.
Our guards are well-trained.

Well-trained?! As was this
one... the one who attacked my client.

Mr. Palmer likes to say,"Attacked."

Attack's a nice word...
our troops attack, for example.

Troops are good;
attack's a good word.

Much better than,
say, rape, which is ugly.

Which is what happened to my client.

Did you train this guard
not to rape,by the way?

All of our employees,
including this one, are required to

apply for correctional officer
certification within 6 months of hire,

and they have another
6 months to get certified.

So any employee can work for your company
for an entire year without certification.

After receiving 40 hours
of annual in-service training.

Forty hours. That would cover your
riots, beatings, shankings, escapes.

Your employee turnover is two to three
times that of public prisons. Am I right?

- Yes, but
- And your staff,

like the staff of most private prisons,

is 49% more likely to be assaulted
by the inmates in their charge.

Well, it's not Club Med.
It is a prison.

Oh, I see; we call it "prison" now,

but for the purpose of getting parents to
elect your "for profit alternative,"

you're a "detention
treatment facility."

That's another lovely word.
"Treatment."

It's almost as acceptable as "attack."

Doctors, for example,
like to attack diseases with treatment.

Treatment, attack; attack,
treatment. Doesn't matter which way.

Still sounds better
than "prison." Rape.

Prison, prison, prison;
rape, rape, rape.

- Objection.
- Here we have child rape.

- Objection!
- Good that you made a profit.

I'm done.

Straight probation; six months. And you
take your instruction video off YouTube.

No.

W... wait a minute.
Did you just say, "No"?

They're willing to
let you go, Marlena!

This is more than just me, Grammy.

I am a movement.
Millions of kids...

Oh, give me a break!

I would think you of
all people would understand,

being a former suffragette,
that sometimes you have to stand up...

The law is black...

did you just call me
a former suffragette?

Aren't you?

How old do you think I am?

I don't know. Uh, eighty?

Please, leave now. And
take the window... it's faster.

And you! Can't you
talk some sense into her?

Actually, I think
she's right. Uh, uh...

not about you being eighty,

but I think she should get to vote.

Excuse me?

We had 10 million people without high
school diplomas vote in the last election.

Why shouldn't Marlena get to vote?

Carl...

That's her "I'm not
happy with you" tone.

Yes, I know it well.

Surely you think she
should settle this case.

Surely I don't... Shirley.

Give me one reason why we shouldn't
countersue for abuse of process,

filing a frivolous lawsuit,
and, possibly, extortion.

W-well, my impression of the pharmaceutical
industry is that it's always so nice.

He had a scare, but he's fine now.
What are the damages?

Well, emotional distress, for starters.

But how did we cause it?

What is it exactly
you're claiming we did?

What you did? You
brainwashed my client.

The massive marketing strategy
employed by your trade association

caused him to gulp down of 42
different drugs on a daily basis.

And it would be foreseeable in your
mind that he'd do this just because?

Certainly foreseeable to you.
You market to senior citizens

because your research shows
they're easy targets,

susceptible to deceptive advertising...

I'm sorry. You did go
to law school, right?

Actually, I bought my
degree on the Internet.

Uh, what's your point?

What happened to him was
the product of his own stupidity.

That he's able to enlist his firm and perhaps
an equally intellectually-challenged attorney

to type a cause of action on a
complaint does not give him one.

I bet you didn't play well
with others as a child, did you?

I'm leaving.

Sit your arrogant ass down, Mr. Mathis.

Better you hear what
I have to say now.

It'll be considerably
cheaper than in court.

You actually think you're
going to intimidate us?

We're one of the biggest players
in the pharmaceutical industry.

Do you have the slightest
sense of how powerful we are?

I have a very acute sense.

Last week, I took on
the tobacco industry.

Imagine my surprise to discover
you two are so much alike.

You both deny the damaging
health effects of your products,

you both promote so-called "independent
research" which you actually finance,

you both market to children,

you both pour millions of dollars
into lobbying efforts to buy Congress,

you both suppress information that
proves that your products kill people.

The only difference I can see is that
while the FDA is hostile toward cigarettes,

- you they roll over for.
- Look...

I know exactly how big and
powerful you are, Mr. Mathis.

It might do you some
good to check me out.

I'm the guy who just nicked
Big Tobacco for 200 million.

Now I just sit in my office
all day, twiddling my thumbs,

asking myself, "Who's next?"

Well, guess what?

It's you.

It's you.

The law is the law.
She broke it.

Now, since they've attempted to put the
law itself on trial here, let me defend it.

There is a reason for
voting age minimums.

Most kids aren't as fully
informed as Miss Hoffman is.

Most kids are... well... kids,

and they simply lack
the judgment and maturity.

A recent poll found that
20% of students at NYU

would trade their vote in the upcoming
Presidential election for an iPod Touch.

Sixty-six percent would
trade it for free tuition.

Kids are kids, which is why this state...
indeed, most states... set boundaries.

We don't let them drink until they're
21, we don't let them have sex,

we don't allow them to
enter into contracts.

Is it fair that Marlena Hoffman
not be allowed to vote,

given how politically
aware she is? Maybe not.

But our system here has to be
what's best for the masses;

specifically, what's
best for this country.

Letting children vote
doesn't serve that goal.

I salute Marlena Hoffman and her civic
commitment. I really do.

She just has to wait another year.

Now I know that to her, that
probably seems like a lifetime.

After all, she's a kid.

What's the fear? That
they'll screw things up?

We have a 9.4 trillion dollar debt,

no national health care, unprecedented
poverty, capped by a recession,

a war that could last a hundred years
depending on who wins this election,

an earth that is dying.

Oh, yes; please

let's not dare let the young people
mess with our masterpiece!

Oh, come on, Mr. Suck. Don't
you think this is ridiculous?

Carl Sack: At first, I did.
By the way? It's Sack.

But, the more I listen
to Ms. Hoffman...

Children aren't just our future,
Judge; they're our best hope.

We need them involved, on board,
with an appreciation of the stakes.

This young lady is.

Come on! You're talking about
electing our Commander-in-Chief!

Yes, I am.

You know what? Let's face it:

These elections are typically decided
by old coots like you and me. Why?

Well, because not only do senior citizens
historically swing elections with their votes,

we have the most money to
stuff the campaign coffers.

McCain and Obama certainly know that.

How else are you to explain
their deafening silence on

what may be our biggest
fiscal nightmare...

that more and more of the federal budget
now goes to subsidizing old people?

Medicare, Medicaid, and Social
Security now take up 40%,

and spending on these programs is expected
to double over the next ten years?!

As far as what the
kidsget, well, let's see.

Failing educational systems,
a broken economy,

don't forget the backdoor draft
to get them to fight our wars.

The kids are getting screwed.

There are millions of them on high
school and college campuses

- who are informed, passionate
- Oh, for God's sake!

You might also consider,
Judge, that teenagers spend

over one hundred and seventy-six billion
dollars a year of their own money...

over one hundred and
seventy-six billion!

They earn it.

They file tax returns.

To tax them while not
letting them vote?!

That amounts to taxation
without representation!

I think we started a Revolutionary
War to right that wrong.

Finally, Your Honor...

I hesitate to say this,

but the resistance to
letting young people vote

may be more insidious and subtle than,
"Gee, they lack the maturity."

We have an ugly legacy in this country
of excluding certain segments of society.

There are women alive today who
were once denied the right to vote.

Even after African-Americans
were given the right,

many were subjected
to literacy tests,

like in Alabama, where blacks had to
determine the number of bubbles in a bar of soap

before they could cast their ballot.

Today, states are passing voter ID
laws, requiring proof of citizenship.

Makes sense on one level,

but the net effect is that many
US-born citizens will lose out

because they're too poor
to afford the documentation.

Millions of felons can't
vote... also makes sense,

except when you consider that

13% of the US black male population
fall into that category...

the poor, the black, the young.

Now, a nutty Reverend
may have been right

when he said that this country is ruled
by the old, the white, and the rich.

So, you don't favor
any age requirements?

Lower it to 17.

Nineteen US states are considering
legislation to lower the voting age.

Why?

Because it's time.

Our kids are educated.

They can be passionate, socially aware.

I mean they have an idealism
many of us have forgotten.

They have a voice; it's
time we let it be heard.

Not just for their sakes,
but for ours.

We going into court?

Alan Shore: They filed
a motion to dismiss.

Can we beat it?

Well, it's a pretty
powerful industry, Denny.

Do I have to give you my big pep talk again?

No. They almost killed you.

You can consider me
sufficiently motivated.

Oh, Denny, please
don't... hug me.

All right. Look, I'm kind
of a simple guy, I admit.

When I get a case, I just plop down with
the complaint, a cheeseburger and a pop,

and I try to decipher what the thing
is really about... that's what I do.

And I must tell you, I'm a little bit stumped here.

I mean, it can't be a straight
negligence thing, can it?

First, it wasn't foreseeable that this
guard would commit a sexual assault.

He sure as hell never did it before.

Second, the prison's operating procedures
were consistent with industry standards.

Third, the plaintiff herself would
be deemed contributorily negligent

since she cultivated a sexual
relationship with this man.

She broke prison rules to be with him.

Hell, she kissed him!

That's probably why they decided to make
this a referendum on private prisons.

Better target ��cause "for profit"
translates to "greed and avarice,"

and we love taking the deep
pockets down a notch, don't we?

But, folks, private
prisons are a good thing.

Not only do they save taxpayers
money, they make us safer.

Their recidivism rates are lower
than the state-run facilities.

They also create jobs
and help the economy.

I'm sorry, but you just can't
make a goat of private prisons.

If anything, we need more of ��em.

Now..

a horrible thing happened
here.No question.

And blame was assessed. The rogue
guard was arrested and locked up.

Justice was done.

This is a civil trial, which is trying
to find a correctional facility guilty

when they did everything right,
according to industry standards.

That' s... just... the truth.

Have we all gone completely mad?

One in a hundred people in
this country are in prison or jail.

The United States has more people locked
up than any other country in the world...

that includes China.

For a nation that bills
itself as the Land of the Free,

America quite fancies its slammers.

And with alarming recidivism rates,

do we really mean to turn this problem
over to the for-profit corporations

whose very economic survival
depends on people going to prison?

Are we really to believe that
they'll rehabilitate their inmates

when they have a profit
motive not to do so?

If people don't commit crimes,
they're out of business.

You have a cynical view of human nature...
that's what you have, little lady.

Mr. Palmer, with all due
respect to the fact

that you are far simpler than
any of us could aspire to be,

I shall ask you to never... ever...
call me "little lady" again.

As for human nature, we saw
it in Iraq with Blackwater.

Private corporations hired to protect our
troops chose not to use armored vehicles,

even though the contract
expressly provided for them.

Soldiers died because
some executive decided,

"Better to save money than lives."

That's what you get with
for-profit corporations.

They never keep ledger sheets
showing the human cost.

Our prison system releases six hundred and
fifty thousand ex-convicts a year into society.

Two-thirds of those quickly
commit crimes and return.

That's good for the
for-profit prison business.

Very bad for the welfare
of our citizenry,

and if we go with this system that
disincentivizes rehabilitation, then what?

We've already got 2.2
million people in jail.

In fact, many jails
have to release criminals

because there is simply
no place to put them.

Corners get cut, costs get shaved,
officer training is short-changed,

and suddenly we have children
who are first-time offenders

being physically attacked
by corrections officers.

Mr. Palmer claims his client
observed industry standards,

yet his client held himself up
as being above those very standards.

The reason Lauren Addario
elected to go to this facility

is because it promised a safer
environment where she would get treatment.

But whatever standard of care one seeks
to hold a public or private prison up to,

it should be one that safeguards against
its 15-year-old girls being raped by guards.

All rise.

All right. I did a little research
of my own last night.

I learned that our brain
size peaks at 14,

and our reasoning abilities peak at 12.

I also discovered that in
pre-industrial society,

which didn't even have
a word for adolescence,

that post-pubescent teens
are considered adults.

In fact, psychologists say that,

by imposing all the restrictions
that we do on teenagers,

we are infantilizing them... part of
our grand scheme to extend childhood.

Many others say that the only solution
to teenage angst and irresponsibility

is to go in the opposite direction,
and treat them as grown-ups.

Can't he just say that I
won, and be done with it?

I cannot give you
the right to vote,

but I am satisfied that
your actions were... were noble,

they were overt, they did not
rise to the level of fraud,

and therefore I am dismissing
all criminal charges.

We are adjourned.

Very good job, Mr. Old Guy.

I mean, I can almost see what
Grammy finds attractive about you.

Marlena, you're not nearly as cute

or obnoxious as you think you are.

What I will say is: Pretty cool kid.

You won't tell Grammy?I kinda
like getting on her nerves.

Secret's safe.

He's failed to state a claim
even suggesting liability.

How is it foreseeable to us that
he would gobble multiple medications,

buying them off the Internet, without
even consulting a doctor in person?

It's not just foreseeable,
it's exactly what you count on!

Seducing the more vulnerable members of
society to fall for your snake oil potions.

Oh, that's just absurd!

Your Honor, hundreds of thousands of people
die every year from prescription drugs.

Twentyseven thousand people
were killed by Vioxx.

If you believe one FDA
official, possibly 50,000.

Yes. But you can't sue
these people for Vioxx.

This isn't about Vioxx, which
they don't even manufacture.

I'm talking about an
industry-wide pattern.

We don't even know all the
potential dangers of these drugs,

because the pharmaceutical industry
systematically conceals them.

They've been caught
buying clinical trials,

bribing doctors, distorting science.

Many of these so-called "peer-reviewed" a
rticles we see in medical journals

are actually ghost-written by
the drug companies themselves,

and doctors take pay-offs and let
their names appear as the authors.

You have no evidence that any
of that has happened here.

Because you hide it!

Your company previously buried evidence

which showed a link between antidepressants
and suicidal thoughts in children.

You did that.

Which we still deny.
And this isn't that case.

He doesn't have one
single fact to support...

The fact is: The US
pharmaceutical industry

spends almost twice as much on promotion
as it does on research and development.

That's obscene!

American television viewers
see as much as 16 hours

of prescription advertising each year.

Sixteen hours! That's more time than
most people spend at the movies.

The fact is: They invent
diseases, like social phobia,

generalized anxiety disorder
to sell mind-altering drugs...

Anxiety is a clinical illness.

To suggest otherwise is not
only irresponsible, Your Honor...

What's irresponsible is: We have
scores of people being diagnosed

with these vague mental disorders,
millions of whom are children.

What's irresponsible is: We have
3-year-olds on antidepressants.

Why? Because the drug companies...
just like Big Tobacco... know

that if you get these kids when they're
young enough, you have a customer for life.

I should sue you right now.
You do not get a pass just

- because...
- You want to sue me?

Please do. Because truth is a complete defense,
and I'm not the only one saying this.

This industry invents chronic diseases,
be it restless leg, dry eye syndrome,

or these unspecified sleep disorders that require
nightly doses of habit-forming tranquilizers.

They first concoct the
disorder, then the drug,

and then they blitz the public with
commercials to convince ��em they're afflicted,

and it's especially effective
with senior citizens.

My client was popping pills
like candy. He almost died!

He's out of control.

Your industry is out of control.

You manufacture and sell
disease at exorbitant cost.

And the FDA refuses
to regulate you.

The pharmaceutical lobby has
a death grip on Congress.

Mr. Shore, you need
to settle down.

Your Honor, the FDA refuses to go
after these people, so let it be me.

They very nearly killed
a man I dearly love.

Let it be me.

But let me get started, because they stall.
Of the 27,000 to 50,000 Vioxx deaths,

only 18 cases have
reached juries so far... 18.

Most of the plaintiffs will in fact be
dead before they're compensated in any way.

Well, my client is 75.

So, please, let me get started on discovery,
since clearly I'll need every second.

All right; all right.
I will let this case stand.

What?! Are you crazy?

Perhaps you could have
a pill she could take.

You're allowing him to go
forward with no proximate cause?

That's preposterous.

What would be preposterous, sir,

is if I would extend the benefit
of the doubt to your industry.

Do I look like an idiot?

They've got a pill for that, too.

Will you shut up?

I have made my ruling.
We are adjourned.

You've bitten off more than you
can chew this time, my friend.

Oh, I don't swallow. I
just chew up and spit out.

We'll see.

Zing. I can see you're good at this.

Nervous, Jerry?
Interesting cross of yours.

Little piece of advice, my friend:

Never, ever, get up in court
and try to "out-me" me.

All right, Mr. Foreman; the
jury has reached its verdict?

We have, Judge.

What say you?

In the matter of Lauren Addario vs
Superior Correctional Centers,

we the jury find in
favor of the plaintiff,

and order the defendant to pay
damages in the amount of $1.7 million.

Defense appeals.Judge

So noted. Members of the jury:
Thank you for your service.

The judgment is entered.

This matter is adjourned.

You did it.

Congratulations, Lauren.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Jerry Espenson: Can't
win ��em all, Mel.

Hey! Can you win any?
Two pops for yes, bro.

Jerry, in England, we're
taught to be gracious in victory.

I couldn't help it.
He's a big boob-head.

Well,congratulations. It seems
your cross carried the day.

No; it was your closing.
It was as persuasive as it was elegant.

I guess we make quite a team,
you and me..as... as colleagues.

Of course. Absolutely.
As colleagues.

Last week, Big Tobacco.
This week, Big Pharmaceuticals.

Well, why not go out swinging, right?

Who says we're going out?

I read somewhere you should
live every year as if it's your last.

Really? I can't imagine
this is our last year.

Aren't there still some
time slots we haven't tried?

Do you ever think about
the end, Denny?

Death?

I feel somehow I'll just keep going
on even after it's over... like Hillary.

Reincarnation. You believe in that?

I do, actually.
What's the alternative?

Nothingness?
I can't believe in that.

No.

You believe in reincarnation?

I don't know.

I suppose if I ever did get to Heaven,
God would almost certainly return me.

True.

What do you think you'll
be in your next life?

I hope a beautiful woman.
I could touch myself.

I might want to touch you.

You've already had your kiss.
How was it for you?

I've had better.

You didn't tongue me, did you?

Oh, God,

I must say,

I feel ... great comfort,
the way you're there for me.

When the day does come,

at least I won't be alone.

You won't be alone.

You know, if we are to think
of it as our ast year,

we need to think of
how best to go out.

Fishing, for sure.

For sure.

Supreme Court... gotta go back.

Scalia misses me.

Shirley.

Once with Shirley before I go.

I can't believe you actually
got to suck face with me.

And I brought you back to life.

Like Snow White.

Like Snow White.

Of all the women I have
loved, been loved by...

whoever would have believed that
Alan Shore would be my Prince Charming?

Let no man tear asunder.

Till death do us part.

Amen.