Original subtitles

HA HA HA HA HA!

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?

UHH, WHY IS BILLY DIGGING UP HIS FRONT LAWN?

I DON'T KNOW, MANDY.

I'M STARTING TO THINK BILLY MIGHT BE A LITTLE BIT STUPID.

CONFOUND IT, BOY.

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE THE TASTE OF DIRT.

SORRY, GRIM.

BUT IT'S COLD OUT, SO I'M DIGGING TO THE CENTER

OF THE EARTH WHERE IT'S WARMER.

BILLY, THE EARTH'S CORE IS CALCULATED TO BE AT LEAST

1,000 DEGREES CELSIUS.

YOU'D BOIL LIKE A LOBSTER.

HEH HEH HEH.

I'M PRETTY SURE WE WERE JUST HAVING THE SAME FANTASY.

GRIM!

MANDY!

LOOK, I FOUND ICE.

WEIRD, HMM?

THAT'S PERMAFROST, YOU BOOB.

IT'S WATER BELOW THE GROUND THAT'S BEEN FROZEN FOR

CENTURIES.

WELL, I GUESS THAT EXPLAINS THE CAVEMAN I FOUND.

OH, MY GOSH!

IT--IT CAN'T BE.

AN ACTUAL CAVEMAN?

MANDY, CAN WE THAW OUT THE CAVEMAN FROM HIS ICY HECK?

CAN WE, CAN WE, CAN WE, CAN WE?

OK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT MAKES EITHER OF YOU THINK THAT

RELEASING A CAVEMAN THAT'S BEEN FROZEN FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS

INTO THE STREETS OF A MODERN SOCIETY IS A GOOD IDEA.

WHO KNOWS HOW HE'LL REACT TO BEING IN A DIFFERENT TIME?

YOU'RE RIGHT.

GIVE ME...THAT SCYTHE!

GOT...TO...THAW...CAVEMAN!

NOW YOU'VE DONE IT, BILLY.

YABBA...YABBA...

DABBA...YABBA DABBA!

YABBA!

DABBA!

YABBA!

YABBA DABBA!

YABBA DABBA!

BOO.

AAH!

YABBA DABBA YAH!

[SNIFFING] [TINKLING]

WELL, AT LEAST THE FLAMES ARE OUT.

CAN I REAP THIS GUY NOW?

JUST LOOK AT HIM.

HE'S 23.99 THOUSAND YEARS PAST HIS EXPIRATION DATE.

YOU CAN'T REAP HIM, GRIM!

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED A CAVEMAN OF MY OWN.

OR A COWBOY.

CAN I KEEP HIM?

CAN I, CAN I, CAN I?

I DON'T KNOW.

REMEMBER, BILLY, OWNING A CAVEMAN IS A HUGE

RESPONSIBILITY.

OH, PSHAW.

YOU DON'T GOTS TO WORRY, GRIM.

I'M GONNA CIVILIZE HIM AND CLEAN UP HIS POO,

AND WE'LL BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER.

[HONKING] [ALARM SOUNDS]

YABBA DABBA DOO!

OR, IF THAT DOESN'T WORK, WE CAN ALWAYS MAKE A NICE

CAVEMAN SKIN RUG OUT OF HIM.

AGREED.

WELCOME TO THE 21st CENTURY.

MY NAME IS BILLY, AND I'LL BE YOUR ROLE MODEL.

AND YOU WOULD BE?

YABBA DABBA?

NO, NO, NO.

ME...BILLY, YOU?

OHH, FRED.

OK.

SINCE YOU DON'T SPEAK A-MER-I-CAN, I'LL CALL YOU

JAKE STEEL.

I'M GONNA GRAB US A SNACK.

NOW, DON'T DESTROY THE HOUSE WHILE I'M GONE.

DO YOU LIKE CHILI ON YOUR CEREAL?

EH, NEVER MIND.

[MUSIC PLAYING] WHAT THE--

WOO HOO!

YEAH, OH HOO!

UHH, DAD?

CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY, BILLY?

BUT IT'S IMPORTANT.

WHAT IS IT?

DAD, IF I FOUND A CAVEMAN BURIED IN THE FRONT YARD,

CAN I KEEP HIM?

CAVEMAN, HUH?

EH, I DON'T THINK YOUR MOTHER WOULD WANT A FILTHY, DISGUSTING,

DISEASE-RIDDEN NEANDERTHAL LIVING IN HER HOUSE.

FILTHY AND DISGUSTING, EH?

YOW!

NOW YOU'LL FIT IN PERFECTLY IN THE MODERN WORLD.

LET'S GO INTRODUCE YOU.

THIS IS JAKE STEEL.

HE'S MY NEW CAVEMAN.

SO...THIS IS A CAVEMAN.

I'M AFRAID SO, AND BILLY WON'T LET ME TERMINATE HIM.

JUST REMEMBER THAT WHEN YOU SEE WHAT HE'S DONE TO YOUR

BATHROOM TOWELS.

HE SEEMS TO BE CATCHING ON TO OUR MODERN WAYS PRETTY

QUICKLY.

EH, YAH, YABBA DABBA...

WELL, HE'S TRYING ANYWAY.

[CHEWING] [BURP]

[GROWL] THEN HE SAILED AWAY,

NEVER TO RETURN.

AND THAT'S THE STORY OF THIS CRUSTY OLD PEG LEG, WHICH IS ALL

I HAVE LEFT TO REMEMBER FROM THE GREATEST SEA PIRATE CAPTAIN

THAT EVER LIVED.

CAPTAIN DEADWOOD THEY CALLED HIM, BUT DON'T LET THE NAME

FOOL YOU.

HE'S NOT REALLY A CAPTAIN.

EHH...OK, UH, GOOD JOB, PUDIN.

I DON'T NEED YOUR PATHETIC SYMPATHY.

NEXT UP IS BILLY, WHO WILL NOW COME UP AND SHOW

EVERYONE WHAT HE BROUGHT FOR SHOW AND TELL.

DUDE, WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I'M SCARED, YO.

GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

I BRING YOU THE GREATEST SPECTACLE OF ALL TIME,

SOMETHING THAT MUST BE SEEN TO BE BELIEVED.

PREPARE YOURSELVES, FOR I BRING YOU...JAKE STEEL,

THE CAVEMAN!

OOH.

YABBA?

THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS, HE'S A REAL LIFE CAVEMAN

FROM THE AGE OF DINOSAURS, BETAMAX TAPES, FLOPPY DISKS,

AND ACID-WASHED JEANS WITH HOLES IN THEM ON PURPOSE.

OOH.

EWW, HE SMELLS LIKE YABBA DABBA DOO DOO.

EH, BILLY, ARE YOU SURE ABOUT BRINGING A CAVEMAN TO SCHOOL?

NOT TO WORRY, MS. BUTTERBEAN.

MANDY SAID THAT EVENTUALLY HE'LL GET FUTURE SHOCK AND HE WON'T

BE ABLE TO HANDLE THE UNFAMILIAR SIGHTS AND SOUNDS OF A TIME

30,000 YEARS INTO THE FUTURE AND THAT EVENTUALLY HE'LL SNAP

AND GO ON AN UNCONTROLLABLE RAMPAGE.

BUT I DON'T THINK THAT'S LIKELY.

THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO CHANCE OF JAKE STEEL EVER GETTING OUT

OF THAT CAGE.

NOPE.

YABBA DABBA!

YAY!

YABBA DABBA!

AAH!

UHH, PLEASE DON'T TELL THE STUDENTS I LIVE LIKE THIS.

CAVEMEN CAN'T BE ALLOWED TO DRIVE.

IT'S ONE OF THE RULES OUR SOCIETY WAS FOUNDED ON.

IF WE'RE GOING TO CATCH HIM, WE'LL NEED A FAST SET OF WHEELS.

WE'RE NEVER GOING TO CATCH BILLY'S CAVEMAN ON THIS STUPID

GIRL'S BIKE.

[PANTING] MY GRANDMA-MA BOUGHT ME THIS

BIKE, YO.

ENOUGH OF THIS.

GRIM, GET US AIRBORNE, NOW.

YOU GOT IT.

HEY, THIS IS LIKE THAT ONE MOVIE WITH THE

EXTRATERRESTRIAL WHO MAKES FRIENDS WITH THOSE KIDS AND

GRIM ALWAYS CRIES AT THE END.

[CRYING] OH, SHUT UP, BILLY.

GRIM, YOU SEE ANYTHING?

NOT A BLASTED THING.

WAIT A SECOND...THERE HE IS!

YOU DO KNOW THAT NOW THAT YOU'VE KIDNAPPED ME,

I EXPECT TO BE MARRIED.

AND I WANT 2.5 KIDS, AND A 2-STORY HOUSE ON

THE WEST SIDE.

AND YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO FIND YOURSELF A WELL-PAYING JOB

BECAUSE I KNOW YOU DON'T EXPECT ME TO WORK.

AND DON'T USE THE EXCUSE, "OH, I'M A CAVEMAN,

I DON'T BELONG IN THIS TIME."

UH-UH, I AIN'T HAVIN' THAT.

AND ALSO, BRUSH YOUR HAIR.

YABBA DABBA!

AAH!

AAH!

HEY, EVERYONE, FREE ICE CREAM!

POOR OLD JAKE STEEL.

THIS WAS OBVIOUSLY NOT YOUR TIME, DEAR FRIEND.

WHAT A WAY TO GO.

FROZEN SOLID IN A BLOCK OF CHERRY-FLAVORED ORANGE

SHERBET ICE CREAM.

THERE'S ONLY ONE THING LEFT TO DO.

ALL RIGHT!

BUT I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KIDS SHOULD WATCH THIS.

IT CAN GET A LITTLE MESSY.

NO!

NOT THAT.

NO?

THEN WHAT?

IT WOULD BE NICE IF SOMEONE COULD SAY A FEW WORDS.

HE'S NOT DEAD, BILLY, WE JUST REBURIED HIM IN YOUR

FRONT YARD AGAIN.

WHAT A WASTE OF AN EPISODE.

GOOD BYE, OLD FRIEND, MAY YOU FIND YOUR DESTINY IN THE FUTURE,

MIGHTY JAKE STEEL.

THE FUTURE, WHERE CARS WILL FLY AND WHERE WE'LL ALL HAVE

NANO MACHINES IN OUR BLOOD STREAMS THAT WILL ALLOW US

TO TELL TIME WITHOUT A WATCH.

THE FUTURE...

THE FUTURE...

THE FUTURE...

EH, WHA, ERR...

OH, HEY, JAKE.

I GOT HUNGRY ONE NIGHT AND REMEMBERED THAT THERE WAS

A BUNCH OF SHERBET BURIED IN THE YARD.

I GUESS I FELL IN.

[RUMBLING] EWW, LOOK AT THOSE GUYS,

THEY'RE SO CHUBBY.

I WONDER WHAT THEY EAT?

HEE HEE HEE.

[GRUMBLING] HI!

HI!

DO YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH ME?

OH, SASSY CAT, YOU'RE SECOND ONLY TO MANDY IN MY HEART, YO.

IRWIN!

DON'T LOOK AT ME!

IT'S OK, IRWIN, I DIDN'T SEE NOTHING.

HEY!

IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR THE MONSTER MAUL AND BRAWL MOVIE

OF THE WEEK.

AH, YEAH!

BUT...UMM...

MY MOM WON'T LET ME WATCH MONSTER MOVIES, YO.

THAT'S OK, WE'LL WATCH ON MANDY'S HUGEARAMIC TV!

LET'S GO!

AND CHANGE OUT OF YOUR SISSY SASSY PAJAMAS AND GET RID

OF YOUR LAMEY WAMEY DOLL.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YO?

I'M NOT WEARING SASSY CAT PAJAMAS, AND HOLDING A SASSY

CAT DOLL.

[MEOW] JUST GO, AND I'LL MEET YOU OUT

FRONT.

OK, SISSY CAT.

YOU KNOW I DIDN'T MEAN IT, SASSY.

I LOVE YOU.

[DOORBELL] GRIM, DOOR, NOW.

BRAT.

HERE YOU GO, YOUR HIGHNESS, COUNT IDIOT AND LORD WEENIE.

WHAT DO YOU TWO CRETANS WANT?

[WHISTLING] OUCH!

WE'RE HERE TO WATCH THE MONSTER MAUL AND BRAWL MOVIE

OF THE WEEK.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET YOU LOWER LIFE FORMS WATCH SOME

LAME MONSTER MOVIE ON MY TV?

OH, WE JUST THOUGHT THAT MAYBE OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF--

IRWIN, SWARM!

SWARM!

EH, YOU CHIMPS AREN'T WORTH THE TIME.

COME, GRIM, LET'S GO PLAGUE MINDY'S SLUMBER PARTY.

UHH, JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE TO GO THROUGH MY INFECTION

COLLECTION.

YOU GEEKS WANT TO SEE A GIANT MONSTER BATTLE, HEY?

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

THIS IS OUR FAVORITE MONSTER MOVIE OF ALL TIME.

GORILLASAUR VERSUS THE WHATSIT.

IT'S THE BEST, YO, AND IT'S NOT EVEN ON PAY-PER-VIEW.

HA HA HA.

THIS AIN'T NOTHING LIKE THE REAL GIANT MONSTER BATTLES.

GIANT MONSTERS ARE REAL, YO?

OF COURSE THEY'RE REAL, BOY, WOULD A TALKING MAGICAL SKELETON

LIE TO YOU?

THE ANSWER IS HECK, YES.

COME ON, BOYS, WE'RE GOING TO THE LAND OF GIANT MONSTERS.

MYSTICAL JAPAN.

YAY!

UHH, WHAT ABOUT MANDY?

IF SHE ASKS, WE ALL WENT OUT FOR A HAIRCUT.

FAIR ENOUGH.

WHOA.

WHOA, YO, LAND OF THE SUSHI.

BIRTHPLACE OF THE CALIFORNIA ROLL, YO.

BUT WHERE'S THE GIANT MONSTERS AT?

WELL, MOST OF THEM ARE EATING HEALTHIER, SO THEY AIN'T SO

GIANT NO MORE.

BUT I KNOW THAT THE MIGHTY CRAGERA IS DRAWN BY THE NEED

TO RESCUE CHILDREN IN PERIL.

AAH!

AAH!

CRAGERA...

FRIEND TO ALL CHILDREN, IS HERE TO SAVE YOU.

OH, THANK GOODNESS, I'M SO-- WOW, A REAL LIFE GIANT

MONSTER!

CAN I KEEP HIM, HUH?

CAN I, CAN I, CAN I?

HEY, CRAGGY, HOW YOU BEEN?

HA HA, WHOA, GRIM!

YOU KNOW THIS GUY?

THAT'S JUST BILLY, YOU CAN EAT HIM IF YOU WANT.

OH, HOW DID YOUR LAST GIANT MONSTER FIGHT GO?

EH, I TOOK HIM DOWN IN THE SECOND ROUND, SHOVED

HIS FACE IN A VOLCANO.

GRAPE APE, IT BURNS, GRAPE APE.

REMEMBER THAT TIME I FOUGHT THAT GIANT SILKWORM?

YEAH, RIGHT JAB, SWISH.

LEFT JAB, SWISH.

ONE ROUND, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

OH, OH, AND THAT BIG EVENT-- THRILLA IN MAGILLA.

THAT WAS A CLASS ACT, MAN.

WHEN'S HE GONNA FIGHT ANOTHER MONSTER?

[ROARS] AH, MY EVIL ARCHENEMY,

KITTYRA.

IT'S CLOBBERING TIME.

UHH, I THINK MAYBE WE SHOULD BE GETTING BACK TO MANDY'S.

YAY!

NOW WHERE DID THOSE MINDLESS BOOBS GO?

"DEAR MANDY, ME AND GRIM AND IRWIN WENT TO

THE LAND OF PAJAMAS TO SEE WHERE REAL MONSTERS LIVE.

YOUR FRIEND, BILLY.

P.S. GRIM DISOBEYED YOUR DIRECT ORDER TO DO THIS.

P.S.S. WE ALL WENT OUT TO GET HAIRCUTS.

P.S.S.S. I LIKE APPLESAUCE."

UHH, LAND OF GIANT MONSTERS, HUH?

THOSE PEONS ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THEIR INSOLENCE.

WE GOTS TO HELP HIM, GRIM!

MAKE ME INTO A GIANT MONSTER SO I CAN HELP.

NORMALLY I'D OBJECT TO THIS KIND OF MISUSE OF ME POWERS.

BUT SINCE YOU WILL MOST LIKELY BE DESTROYED, I'M GAME.

SUPER HAPPY HYPER MONSTER FIGHTER BILLY TO THE RESCUE.

SUPER HAPPY HYPER MONSTER FIGHTER BILLY TO THE RESCUE.

SUPER HAPPY HYPER MONSTER FIGHTER BILLY TO THE RESCUE.

WHAT DO WE DO, TURTLEY?

THE ONLY WAY I'LL BE STRONG ENOUGH TO BEAT HIM IS IF THE

CHILDREN UNITE IN SONG FOR ME.

♪ CRAGERA WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, BONY?

WHO AUTHORIZED THIS LITTLE EXPEDITION OF YOURS?

UHH, UHH...BILLY.

BILLY DEMANDED THAT I TAKE HIM TO GO SEE WHERE GIANT MONSTERS

LIVE.

NOW HE'S ONE OF THEM AND GETTING HIS BUTT HANDED TO HIM.

I TOLD HIM NOT TO LEAVE YOU BEHIND, MY LOVE.

GRIM, SOUP ME UP.

GREAT, IT'S MEGAGORILLASAUR, HE'LL DESTROY US ALL.

STEP AWAY FROM THE GIANT IDIOT AND HIS UGLY PET TURTLE.

YAY!

IT'S MANDY!

A FRIEND OF YOURS?

YEP, BUT SHE'S STILL GONNA DESTROY US ALL.

[ROARS] SHOULD WE HELP?

NAH, SHE'S GOT IT UNDER CONTROL.

NO, I MEANT SHOULD WE HELP KITTYRA?

I MEAN, EVEN HE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS.

SHH, I'M WATCHING A MONSTER FIGHT.

YOU'RE NEXT, BILLY.

YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, SONNY!

OH!

OW, YOU FRACTURED MY PLATYPUS.

AHH, NOW THIS IS A GIANT MONSTER BATTLE, EH, IRWIN?

AAH!

[CRASH] THAT OUGHT TO DO IT.

I THINK YOU'VE ALL LEARNED YOUR LESSON.

OR YOU WILL ONCE WE GET HOME AND YOU PULL DOUBLE CHORE DUTY FOR

ORCHESTRATING THIS LITTLE TRIP WITHOUT MY PERMISSION, GRIM.

BUT--BUT-- EH, WHO AM I KIDDING?

IT WAS WORTH IT TO SEE SOME QUALITY MONSTER BRAWLS AGAIN.

LET'S HOPE IT WAS WORTH DOUBLE SALIVA POOP DUTY.

LET'S GO HOME.

[SIGHING] YEAH.

HEY, WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MEGAGORILLASAUR?

EH, I LEFT HIM ON AUTOPILOT.

COME ON, BILLY, LET'S GO HOME.

NAH, I'LL WALK.

DID THE OCEAN GET WARMER ALL OF A SUDDEN, OR IS IT JUST ME?

[HUMMING] [DOORBELL RINGS]

DOORBELL, HONEY BUTTONS.

CAN I HELP YOU?

[CAWING] [BARKING]

[CAWING] [BARKING]

WHO WAS IT, DEAR?

AH, PROOF AGAINST EVOLUTION.

HA HA HA.

HA HA HA.

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]