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1
00:00:06,333 --> 00:00:09,383
- [EVIL LAUGHTER]
2
00:00:11,083 --> 00:00:15,253
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP
3
00:00:32,875 --> 00:00:34,625
- I MISSED YOU...
4
00:00:34,708 --> 00:00:37,918
BUT MY AIM IS IMPROVING.
5
00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:52,500
- ALL RIGHT, MEN.
6
00:00:52,583 --> 00:00:57,043
YOU MUST DEFEND THIS FORT
AT ALL COSTS!
7
00:00:58,125 --> 00:00:59,535
- IF YOU WON'T SURRENDER,
8
00:00:59,625 --> 00:01:03,665
THEN PREPARE TO FACE
MY PEAS ACCORD.
9
00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:06,130
- [GUNFIRE]
10
00:01:09,333 --> 00:01:10,383
- [GIGGLING]
11
00:01:10,458 --> 00:01:13,208
- STAY OUT OF MY NEUTRAL ZONE!
12
00:01:13,292 --> 00:01:15,752
[GIGGLING]
13
00:01:18,667 --> 00:01:20,207
ARE YOU PREPARED
TO SURRENDER, GENERAL?
14
00:01:20,292 --> 00:01:23,422
- HMM. HOW 'BOUT I GIVE YOU
MY ANSWER AFTER LUNCH?
15
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,710
- VERY WELL. PULL UP AND PLACE
YOUR ORDER, GENERAL.
16
00:01:26,792 --> 00:01:30,212
- I'LL HAVE THE BACON QUINTUPLE
CHEESEBURGER WITH ONION RINGS.
17
00:01:30,042 --> 00:01:32,502
- WE ONLY SERVE FRIES
AT THIS ESTABLISHMENT.
18
00:01:32,583 --> 00:01:34,293
- HEY, THAT'S NOT FAIR, BILLY.
19
00:01:34,375 --> 00:01:36,995
WHAT KIND OF RESTAURANT
DOESN'T HAVE ONION RINGS?
20
00:01:37,083 --> 00:01:40,003
- SO, WHAT YOU GONNA
DO ABOUT IT, IRWIN?
21
00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:43,173
I WIPED OUT YOUR ENTIRE ARMY!
22
00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:46,000
[LAUGHING]
23
00:01:48,583 --> 00:01:49,713
[LAUGHING]
24
00:01:49,792 --> 00:01:52,502
- YOU FORGOT ABOUT MY AIR FORCE!
25
00:01:52,583 --> 00:01:53,923
AIR STRIKE!
26
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,540
AIR STRIKE!
27
00:01:55,625 --> 00:01:59,325
- MY MOBILE ARMY FAST FOOD UNIT!
28
00:01:59,417 --> 00:02:03,037
GOOD-BYE, GENERAL.
29
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:06,747
- [CRASH]
30
00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:08,883
- OH, MY JEEP!
31
00:02:08,958 --> 00:02:12,538
UH, BILLY? AREN'T YOU SCARED
TO GO DOWN THERE?
32
00:02:12,625 --> 00:02:14,535
- I AIN'T SCARED OF NOTHING!
33
00:02:14,625 --> 00:02:16,785
HERE I COME!
34
00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:18,165
[LAUGHING]
35
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,130
♪ DO DO WHOP WHOP ♪
36
00:02:19,208 --> 00:02:21,788
♪ I'M IN THE BASEMENT,
AND I'M LOVING IT! ♪
37
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,915
♪ UH DAH UH UH ♪
38
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,670
[WHISTLING]
39
00:02:31,792 --> 00:02:34,422
SO, THAT'S WHERE YOU WENT.
40
00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:37,040
HEY, IRWIN, I FOUND IT!
41
00:02:37,125 --> 00:02:39,035
HERE I COME.
42
00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:40,825
HEY, IRWIN,
IF YOU'RE EVER DOWN HERE,
43
00:02:40,917 --> 00:02:43,957
WATCH OUT FOR
THESE PESKY COBWEBS.
44
00:02:44,542 --> 00:02:46,752
[WHISTLING]
45
00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:51,132
OH, IRWIN!
46
00:02:51,208 --> 00:02:54,878
[GIGGLING]
47
00:02:57,417 --> 00:02:59,167
IRWIN!
48
00:02:59,458 --> 00:03:00,708
IRWIN!
49
00:03:00,792 --> 00:03:02,292
- [MUSIC PLAYING, BABY CRYING,
JACKHAMMER HAMMERING]
50
00:03:02,375 --> 00:03:05,165
- OH, WELL, I'M NOT SCARED
OF BEING COMPLETELY IMMOBILIZED
51
00:03:05,250 --> 00:03:07,040
AND ALONE IN A DARK
AND TERRIFYING ENVIRONMENT.
52
00:03:07,125 --> 00:03:09,455
I'LL JUST WAIT HERE
UNTIL SOMEBODY SAVES ME.
53
00:03:09,542 --> 00:03:12,002
[WHISTLING]
54
00:03:19,167 --> 00:03:21,747
[BLOWING RASPBERRIES]
55
00:03:21,833 --> 00:03:27,423
OH, FINALLY! A CHAMPION
HAS COME TO RESCUE ME!
56
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,207
HUH?
57
00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:37,170
[SCREAMING]
58
00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:39,420
THANK YOU FOR CALLING,
THIS IS BILLY.
59
00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:41,630
- [PUDIN MUMBLING]
60
00:03:41,708 --> 00:03:43,668
- YOU KNOW WHAT, PUDIN,
I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW.
61
00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:46,250
I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF BEING
SCARED TO DEATH.
62
00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:47,213
[LAUGHING]
63
00:03:47,042 --> 00:03:49,292
I'LL CALL YOU BACK, OK?
64
00:03:49,375 --> 00:03:51,375
[SCREAMING]
65
00:03:54,292 --> 00:03:56,172
- HUH? DAD?
66
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,380
[LAUGHING]
67
00:03:57,458 --> 00:04:00,378
OH, I DIDN'T SCARE YOU, DID I?
68
00:04:02,625 --> 00:04:04,495
- DIE, EVIL SPIDER!
69
00:04:04,583 --> 00:04:06,713
[SCREAMING]
70
00:04:06,792 --> 00:04:10,212
- OH, DAD, THIS
IS JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.
71
00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:11,002
HEY, DAD.
72
00:04:11,083 --> 00:04:12,173
- GET AWAY!
73
00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:14,080
- I'VE GOT SOME REALLY
BIG NEWS TO TELL YOU.
74
00:04:14,167 --> 00:04:15,327
- [STAMMERING]
75
00:04:15,417 --> 00:04:18,077
- I'VE JUST LAID THOUSANDS
AND THOUSANDS OF EGGS.
76
00:04:18,167 --> 00:04:19,247
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
77
00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:20,213
- AAH!
78
00:04:20,292 --> 00:04:21,832
- YEP, YOU'RE GONNA
BE A GRANDPA.
79
00:04:21,917 --> 00:04:24,417
- BUT--BUT...THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
80
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,080
YOU'RE A BOY SPIDER.
81
00:04:26,167 --> 00:04:28,497
- YOU KNOW, THAT'S
WHAT I THOUGHT, TOO...
82
00:04:28,583 --> 00:04:30,173
UNTIL I HAD THESE.
83
00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:33,250
- [SCREAMING]
84
00:04:35,083 --> 00:04:37,133
IT'S BACK! AAH!
85
00:04:37,208 --> 00:04:38,878
- WHERE'S HE GOING?
86
00:04:38,958 --> 00:04:41,708
- [SCREAMING]
87
00:04:45,708 --> 00:04:48,748
- OH, HEY, GUYS.
HAVE YOU SEEN MY DAD?
88
00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:50,043
- AAH!
89
00:04:50,125 --> 00:04:51,325
- IMPRESSIVE.
I'VE BEEN TRYING
90
00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:53,417
TO HAVE THAT POWER
OVER HIM FOR YEARS.
91
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,000
IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR THE DODO,
92
00:04:55,083 --> 00:04:56,463
HE'S UP IN
THE OLD BILLBOARD TEA CUP.
93
00:04:56,542 --> 00:04:59,082
- AWESOME, 'CAUSE I REALLY
NEED TO TALK TO HIM.
94
00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:01,127
SEE, I JUST LAID
A WHOLE BUNCH OF EGGS,
95
00:05:01,208 --> 00:05:04,038
BUT UNLIKE PEOPLE,
ONCE WE SPIDERS LAY OUR EGGS,
96
00:05:04,125 --> 00:05:05,875
WE ONLY HAVE 36 HOURS TO LIVE.
97
00:05:05,958 --> 00:05:09,498
ANYWAY, I WON'T BE AROUND TO SEE
THE LITTLE FELLAS GROW UP,
98
00:05:09,583 --> 00:05:11,293
SO I NEED SOMEONE
TO BE THEIR GODFATHER.
99
00:05:11,375 --> 00:05:15,125
- SOLID PLAN, BUT YOU'RE
FORGETTING ONE TINY DETAIL.
100
00:05:15,208 --> 00:05:17,378
BILLY HATES SPIDERS--
INCLUDING YOU.
101
00:05:17,458 --> 00:05:19,168
HE'LL JUST END UP
STOMPING ON YOUR BABIES.
102
00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:23,080
- NO PROBLEM. THAT'S WHY WE HAVE
THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF THEM.
103
00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:24,627
THERE'S NO WAY
HE CAN GET 'EM ALL!
104
00:05:24,708 --> 00:05:29,038
AND BESIDES, WHO WOULD WANT
TO STEP ON THESE BEAUTIES?
105
00:05:29,125 --> 00:05:30,995
- OOH!
106
00:05:31,083 --> 00:05:32,963
- YOU'RE BASICALLY INSANE.
107
00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:35,082
AS FAR AS YOUR DORKY DAD
IS CONCERNED,
108
00:05:35,167 --> 00:05:36,627
HE CAN'T STAY UP THERE FOREVER.
109
00:05:36,708 --> 00:05:38,748
- RIGHT. HE'LL HAVE TO
COME DOWN TO EAT.
110
00:05:38,833 --> 00:05:42,083
- NAH, THAT BILLBOARD'S
BEEN UP THERE SINCE THE 1940s.
111
00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:44,877
IT'S ALL RUSTED OUT, AND IT
WON'T STAND THE EXTRA WEIGHT.
112
00:05:44,958 --> 00:05:48,578
IN FACT, I PREDICT THAT
IN THE NEXT 15 SECONDS, THAT--
113
00:05:48,667 --> 00:05:50,997
- UGH! OOH! AH!
114
00:05:51,083 --> 00:05:52,503
- MAKE THAT TWO SECONDS.
115
00:05:52,583 --> 00:05:55,793
- YOU'RE NOT GETTING
AWAY FROM ME THAT EASY.
116
00:05:56,208 --> 00:05:57,538
- [CAR STARTS]
117
00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:58,955
- HEY, GET BACK HERE!
118
00:05:59,042 --> 00:06:01,212
- COME ON, MANDY.
THIS OUGHT TO BE FUN--
119
00:06:01,292 --> 00:06:03,922
LIKE WATCHING A TRAIN WRECK.
120
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:09,250
- MANDY! I CAN'T LET HER ESCAPE,
BUT I NEED WHEELS.
121
00:06:09,958 --> 00:06:11,168
- WHY, HELLO THERE, LITTLE BOY.
122
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,670
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD USE
SOME READING MATERIAL.
123
00:06:13,750 --> 00:06:17,420
- THE BOOKMOBILE
COMES TO THE RESCUE AGAIN.
124
00:06:22,167 --> 00:06:24,167
- AAH!
125
00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,380
UGH! UGH! OOH!
126
00:06:26,458 --> 00:06:28,998
[GRUNTING]
127
00:06:29,083 --> 00:06:30,133
- COME ON, DAD.
128
00:06:30,208 --> 00:06:32,168
WHY DON'T SE SIT DOWN
AND TALK ABOUT THIS
129
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,710
LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE!
130
00:06:33,792 --> 00:06:35,752
- NEVER!
131
00:06:36,333 --> 00:06:39,043
[GRUNTING]
132
00:06:45,042 --> 00:06:46,332
- OOH, WIENER.
133
00:06:46,417 --> 00:06:50,787
- HEY, NOBODY SWIPES MY HOTDOG!
134
00:06:51,458 --> 00:06:52,578
- [SIREN RINGING]
135
00:06:52,667 --> 00:06:54,707
- AAH!
- FREEZE!
136
00:06:54,792 --> 00:06:55,792
- [HORN HONKING]
137
00:06:55,875 --> 00:06:58,995
- SORRY!
- LAW BREAKER! GET HIM!
138
00:06:59,083 --> 00:07:00,213
- [SCREAMING]
139
00:07:00,042 --> 00:07:01,212
- COMING THROUGH.
140
00:07:01,292 --> 00:07:04,712
- WASN'T THAT SOME SPIDER
CHASING A COFFEE CUP?
141
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,672
- SURE LOOKS LIKE IT, PAW.
142
00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:08,330
- WELL, LET'S GO GIT HIM!
143
00:07:08,417 --> 00:07:09,787
YEE-HA!
144
00:07:09,875 --> 00:07:11,495
- STEP ON IT, GRIM.
WE'RE LOSING HIM.
145
00:07:11,583 --> 00:07:14,173
- THIS THING AIN'T
SOME FANCY SPORTS CAR.
146
00:07:14,042 --> 00:07:15,542
IT ONLY GOES SO FAST.
147
00:07:15,625 --> 00:07:18,535
I'LL HAVE TO CALL FOR BACKUP.
148
00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:25,042
- [MOANING]
149
00:07:28,042 --> 00:07:30,882
- HOLY SMOKES.
DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?
150
00:07:30,958 --> 00:07:33,918
- HEY, YOU! THAT'S MY CAR!
151
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,420
- UH, THAT WOULD EXPLAIN
THE SMELL.
152
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,630
NOT TO WORRY, THOUGH.
I'M AN EXCELLENT DRIVER.
153
00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:40,168
I'VE GOT 3 ARMS
AT THE 10:00 POSITION
154
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,000
AND ANOTHER TWO ARMS
AT THE 1:00 POSITION.
155
00:07:43,083 --> 00:07:45,963
- [PANTING]
156
00:07:46,417 --> 00:07:49,127
ZOMBIE DRAG RACERS?
157
00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:50,668
[SCREAMING]
158
00:07:50,750 --> 00:07:53,420
- BAD SPIDER! BAD SPIDER!
159
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:54,500
AAH!
160
00:07:54,583 --> 00:07:56,173
- [CRASH]
161
00:07:56,250 --> 00:07:57,540
- UGH.
- OW.
162
00:07:57,625 --> 00:08:00,165
- [MOANING]
163
00:08:01,083 --> 00:08:02,503
- [SIREN BLARING]
164
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:06,213
- HA HA HA! THIS IS MORE FUN
THAN THE FRENCH REVOLUTION!
165
00:08:06,042 --> 00:08:09,752
- 5 BUCKS SAYS THE MET HEAD ENDS
UP AT THE BOTTOM OF THE WRECK.
166
00:08:09,833 --> 00:08:13,583
- MY MONEY IS ONE
THE OBNOXIOUS ARACHNID.
167
00:08:16,042 --> 00:08:18,502
- KEEP CHASING
DEATH AND THE MAIDEN,
168
00:08:18,583 --> 00:08:21,383
AND I'LL CHECK OUT
12 MORE BOOKS.
169
00:08:21,458 --> 00:08:23,828
- YOU GOT IT, KID!
170
00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:34,377
- GOTTA LOOK BOTH WAYS
BEFORE YOU CROSS THE STREET.
171
00:08:37,042 --> 00:08:38,082
- [TIRES SCREECH]
172
00:08:38,167 --> 00:08:40,127
- [CRASHING]
173
00:08:40,208 --> 00:08:43,378
- NICE AND SAFE.
174
00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:45,673
- [PANTING]
175
00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:49,210
- DAD? DAD! LOOK AHEAD OF YOU!
176
00:08:49,292 --> 00:08:50,382
- YOU CAN'T TRICK ME.
177
00:08:50,458 --> 00:08:53,498
YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME
AND EAT MY GUTS!
178
00:08:53,583 --> 00:08:56,083
[SCREAMING]
179
00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:58,077
- WOW. WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT?
180
00:08:58,167 --> 00:08:59,287
- THAT'S MY SON!
181
00:08:59,375 --> 00:09:02,075
- [MOANING]
182
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,327
- AAH!
183
00:09:05,083 --> 00:09:06,463
MOMMY!
184
00:09:06,542 --> 00:09:09,132
- HOLD ON, DAD.
185
00:09:09,792 --> 00:09:12,752
- GO AHEAD! SAVE YOURSELVES!
186
00:09:12,833 --> 00:09:15,963
THERE'S NO MORE HOPE FOR ME.
187
00:09:16,042 --> 00:09:17,882
- [GASPING]
188
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:20,128
- OH, NO!
189
00:09:24,292 --> 00:09:25,292
GOTCHA.
190
00:09:25,375 --> 00:09:28,665
- [CHEERING]
191
00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:33,210
- IF ONLY EVERYONE
HAD A SPIDER THAT SWEET.
192
00:09:33,042 --> 00:09:35,002
- HEY, YOU, COME HERE.
193
00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:36,923
[WHISPERING]
194
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,170
- YEAH.
195
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:41,710
ONE FOR YOU, AND ONE FOR YOU.
THERE YOU GO, SIR.
196
00:09:41,792 --> 00:09:43,882
I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS,
EVERYBODY.
197
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,128
THAT'S RIGHT, LITTLE GUYS.
198
00:09:45,208 --> 00:09:49,038
ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE
GONNA TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU.
199
00:09:50,583 --> 00:09:54,133
- AWW.
200
00:09:54,208 --> 00:09:56,828
[SCREAMING]
201
00:09:58,542 --> 00:10:01,132
- [SCREAMING]
202
00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:04,750
- [LAUGHING]
203
00:10:04,833 --> 00:10:07,173
CAREFUL, LITTLE CRITTERS.
I'M TICKLISH.
204
00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:08,330
- YAOH!
205
00:10:08,417 --> 00:10:10,077
- HOW MUCH TIME
DO YOU HAVE LEFT?
206
00:10:10,167 --> 00:10:13,127
- HMM. IT'S BEEN
WELL OVER 36 HOURS
207
00:10:13,208 --> 00:10:14,378
SINCE I LAID THOSE EGGS.
208
00:10:14,458 --> 00:10:15,828
I JUST WISH
I HAD A LITTLE MORE TIME
209
00:10:15,917 --> 00:10:17,917
SO I COULD LET DAD KNOW
HOW MUCH HE MEANS TO ME.
210
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,040
- WELL, YOU'RE STILL
BREATHING...FOR THE MOMENT,
211
00:10:21,125 --> 00:10:22,415
SO ENJOY THE TIME YOU GOT.
212
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:25,130
- THAT WAS ONE HECK
OF A WILD RIDE, DAD.
213
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,328
THINGS DIDN'T TURN OUT
QUITE THE WAY I PLANNED,
214
00:10:27,417 --> 00:10:29,997
BUT IT ALL
WORKED OUT IN THE END.
215
00:10:34,083 --> 00:10:36,833
- YOU STOPPED JEFF
FROM KICKING THE BUCKET.
216
00:10:36,917 --> 00:10:39,037
THAT'S AWFULLY NICE OF YOU.
217
00:10:39,125 --> 00:10:41,625
- WELL, I DON'T
CARE MUCH FOR SPIDERS,
218
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:47,748
BUT I DO LOVE TO SEE BILLY
WET HIS PANTS IN SHEER TERROR!
219
00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:52,038
- I LOVE YOU, DAD.
220
00:10:52,125 --> 00:10:55,125
- [SCREAMING]
221
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:10,628
- [ROARING]
222
00:11:15,958 --> 00:11:18,628
- [GRUNTING]
223
00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:20,997
- [SCREAMING]
224
00:11:22,125 --> 00:11:24,825
- [ROARING]
225
00:11:29,125 --> 00:11:31,165
- [MOANING]
226
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:34,830
- SORRY ABOUT THAT, KID. MY BAD.
227
00:11:34,917 --> 00:11:36,167
ANYTHING BROKEN?
228
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:39,130
- THE ONLY THING BROKEN
IS MY HEART, YO.
229
00:11:39,208 --> 00:11:44,998
BROKEN BY A TINY XXX WHO WON'T
EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE MY PRESENCE.
230
00:11:45,083 --> 00:11:45,923
[GASPING]
231
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,040
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
232
00:11:47,125 --> 00:11:48,575
JUST YOUR RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS
233
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:51,077
HAS RESTORED MY HOPE
FOR TRUE LOVE!
234
00:11:51,167 --> 00:11:53,127
THANKS FOR LISTENING.
235
00:11:53,208 --> 00:11:55,878
- [SNORING]
236
00:11:57,583 --> 00:11:58,383
[FART]
237
00:11:58,458 --> 00:11:59,998
[GRUNTING]
238
00:12:00,083 --> 00:12:03,923
SAY, YOU DIDN'T HAPPEN TO SEE
A BIG, GREEN, SLIMY
239
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,210
GASPUNKTENOID COME
THROUGH HERE, DID YOU?
240
00:12:07,833 --> 00:12:10,043
THANKS!
241
00:12:12,917 --> 00:12:14,747
TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY, KID.
242
00:12:14,833 --> 00:12:15,923
- HOW'S THAT?
243
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,790
- I'M LOOKING FOR A SIDEKICK.
244
00:12:17,875 --> 00:12:22,125
YOU REMIND ME OF MYSELF
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE.
245
00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:26,375
- HOW DO I REMIND YOU OF YOU?
246
00:12:26,458 --> 00:12:29,788
- WELL...UH...
247
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:32,665
LET'S SEE...
248
00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:36,130
WE BOTH HAVE HUMAN PARENTS...
249
00:12:36,208 --> 00:12:37,418
I THINK.
250
00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:39,040
COME ON, KID. WHAT DO YOU SAY?
251
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:40,955
- GEE, I DON'T KNOW.
252
00:12:41,042 --> 00:12:44,212
- CHICKS DIG THE SIDEKICK.
253
00:12:44,458 --> 00:12:47,128
- SO, WHAT DOES
A SIDEKICK DO, ANYWAY?
254
00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:49,168
- WELL, YOU PRETTY MUCH
STICK CLOSE TO MY SIDE
255
00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:52,290
AND TELL ME HOW STRONG
I AM, HOW GREAT I AM.
256
00:12:52,375 --> 00:12:54,915
MOST IMPORTANT, HOW COOL I AM.
257
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,000
- I'M BASICALLY AN ADORING MOLE?
258
00:12:57,083 --> 00:12:58,963
- WELL...YEAH.
259
00:12:59,042 --> 00:13:00,292
GREAT SULLIVAN'S TOE!
260
00:13:00,375 --> 00:13:02,075
LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT THING!
261
00:13:02,167 --> 00:13:05,497
- NEXT TIME YOU USE GRIM'S
SCYTHE TO CONJURE UP A PLAYMATE,
262
00:13:05,583 --> 00:13:07,713
I'M GONNA USE YOUR HEAD
AS A PINATA.
263
00:13:07,792 --> 00:13:09,172
- I'M SORRY, MANDY.
264
00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:11,830
OH, PLEASE SAVE US!
265
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:14,577
- LOOKS LIKE IT'S TIME
TO GO TO DEFCON 3.
266
00:13:14,667 --> 00:13:16,457
YOU STAY HERE. WATCH THE TRUCK.
267
00:13:16,542 --> 00:13:21,382
AND WHATEVER YOU DO,
DON'T TOUCH MY BREATH MINTS.
268
00:13:22,458 --> 00:13:25,708
- LOOK, GRIM, IT'S HOSS DELGATO!
269
00:13:33,792 --> 00:13:36,082
- AAH!
270
00:13:40,083 --> 00:13:44,043
OH, MR. DELGATO,
DO YOU REMEMBER ME?
271
00:13:44,125 --> 00:13:47,035
DO YOU? DO YOU? DO YOU? DO YOU?
272
00:13:47,125 --> 00:13:49,035
- YEAH. YEAH, I DO.
273
00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:52,075
- BECAUSE I'M ONE
OF YOUR BIGGEST FANS?
274
00:13:52,167 --> 00:13:56,627
- NO. BECAUSE I HAD
A CHIP IMPLANTED IN MY BRAIN
275
00:13:56,708 --> 00:13:59,128
THAT HEATS UP
WHENEVER I TALK TO AN IDIOT.
276
00:13:59,208 --> 00:14:03,078
AND RIGHT NOW MY BRAIN FEELS
LIKE THE SUN IN A PIZZA OVEN.
277
00:14:03,167 --> 00:14:05,077
- NOT BAD, MR. D.
278
00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:07,537
- NOT BAD YOURSELF.
279
00:14:07,625 --> 00:14:10,075
- [SIGHS]
280
00:14:10,167 --> 00:14:13,207
HOW CAN I IMPRESS MANDY
IF I'M ALWAYS ON THE SIDELINES,
281
00:14:13,292 --> 00:14:15,042
NEVER PART OF THE ACTION?
282
00:14:15,125 --> 00:14:16,995
- IT'S TIME FOR
THE HOSS-MAN TO LET YOU IN
283
00:14:17,083 --> 00:14:20,133
ON A LITTLE SECRET
ABOUT YOURS TRULY.
284
00:14:20,208 --> 00:14:24,078
I WAS ALWAYS PICKED LAST
FOR SPORTS GAMES.
285
00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:27,207
- UM, I'LL TAKE MRS. WONG.
286
00:14:27,042 --> 00:14:28,252
- OK. LET'S PLAY.
287
00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:29,833
- WAIT. THERE'S ONE MORE.
288
00:14:29,917 --> 00:14:32,827
- OH, YEAH. OK. UH...
289
00:14:32,917 --> 00:14:34,207
I'LL TAKE KYLE.
290
00:14:34,292 --> 00:14:35,962
- I COULD NEVER GET A DATE.
291
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:38,792
- SAY, HANDSOME,
YOU BUSY TONIGHT?
292
00:14:38,875 --> 00:14:40,245
- WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT, I--
293
00:14:40,333 --> 00:14:45,583
- OH, GOODY. I JUST LOVE
THE BRIGHT, REFLECTIVE TYPE.
294
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,077
- GRR!
295
00:14:47,167 --> 00:14:48,997
THE FINAL STRAW WAS WHEN I WAS
296
00:14:49,083 --> 00:14:51,753
A DOOR-TO-DOOR
VEGETABLE PEELER SALESMAN.
297
00:14:51,833 --> 00:14:53,213
- [BUZZER]
298
00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:54,672
- YEAH, CAN I HELP YOU?
299
00:14:54,750 --> 00:14:58,130
- YES, GOOD SIR. HAVE YOU HEARD
OF THE VEGGIE PEELER 2000?
300
00:14:58,208 --> 00:14:59,248
- AH, SAY NO MORE.
301
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:03,213
I JUST ORDERED 10,000
FROM THAT GUY.
302
00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:04,790
- IT WAS RIGHT THEN
303
00:15:04,875 --> 00:15:08,205
THAT I DECIDED TO END
MY BORING EXISTENCE.
304
00:15:22,125 --> 00:15:24,205
- SO, WHAT EVER
HAPPENED TO KYLE?
305
00:15:24,292 --> 00:15:28,962
- LET'S JUST SAY THAT KYLE
IS NO LONGER A PROBLEM.
306
00:15:30,833 --> 00:15:32,543
LOOK, THE POINT
I'M TRYING TO MAKE
307
00:15:32,625 --> 00:15:37,205
IS NOBODY IS BORN COOL
EXCEPT, OF COURSE...
308
00:15:37,208 --> 00:15:39,918
SPUDLY, YOU HAVE TO
LEARN TO BE COOL,
309
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,750
SO STICK WITH ME, AND I'LL
TEACH YOU EVERYTHING I KNOW.
310
00:15:42,833 --> 00:15:45,753
- I'M NOT SURE. I DON'T
THINK I HAVE WHAT IT TAKES
311
00:15:45,833 --> 00:15:48,133
TO BE A COOL
SPECTRAL EXTERMINATOR.
312
00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:49,668
- IT'S CALLED CONFIDENCE, KID.
313
00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:51,670
THERE WAS A TIME
I DIDN'T HAVE IT, EITHER.
314
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:53,540
WHY, I WAS
SO AFRAID OF THE DARK,
315
00:15:53,625 --> 00:15:54,995
I NEVER CLOSED MY EYES.
316
00:15:55,083 --> 00:15:58,133
ON MY NINTH BIRTHDAY,
MY MOM ANNOUNCED TO MY FRIENDS
317
00:15:58,208 --> 00:15:59,498
THAT I WASN'T REALLY A BOY,
318
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:02,253
AND FROM THAT DAY ON,
I WAS TO BE REFERRED TO
319
00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:04,043
AS HER "LITTLE ROSIE."
320
00:16:04,125 --> 00:16:07,745
I WET THE BED SO MUCH MY FATHER
CALLED ME "THE MIDNIGHT SAILOR"
321
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:10,043
UNTIL I WAS 32 YEARS OLD.
322
00:16:10,125 --> 00:16:13,035
I'M 33.
323
00:16:13,042 --> 00:16:16,792
ALL RIGHT, SPUD, BOY. GET READY.
YOUR LIFE'S ABOUT TO CHANGE.
324
00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:20,745
- UH, DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU WERE
GONNA TEACH ME HOW TO BE COOL?
325
00:16:20,833 --> 00:16:24,043
- YEAH, I WAS. BUT THIS WAY
IS A LOT NEATER.
326
00:16:24,125 --> 00:16:25,125
- NEATER?
327
00:16:25,208 --> 00:16:28,168
[SCREAMING]
328
00:16:37,833 --> 00:16:40,213
- AND NOW TO COMPLETE
THE TRANSFORMATION.
329
00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:43,132
HOLD STILL WHILE
I CHAINSAW YOUR HAND OFF.
330
00:16:43,208 --> 00:16:44,418
- WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS?
331
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:46,790
I WANT TO BE COOL,
BUT NOT CAPTAIN HOOK!
332
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:51,125
DON'T YOU GOT ANYTHING ELSE
A LITTLE LESS DRASTIC, YO?
333
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,673
YEAH. NOW WE'RE TALKING.
334
00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:00,460
THIS IS MORE LIKE IT.
335
00:17:00,542 --> 00:17:03,672
- LET'S GO GET SOME BAD GUYS.
336
00:17:04,042 --> 00:17:05,172
LOOKS LIKE WE GOT COMPANY.
337
00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:08,790
ANOTHER NASTY GASPUNKTENOID
READY TO MAKE TROUBLE
338
00:17:08,875 --> 00:17:09,955
DOWN AT THE PIE WAGON.
339
00:17:10,042 --> 00:17:12,542
- WOW. HOW DO YOU CATCH
SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
340
00:17:12,625 --> 00:17:17,205
- IT ALL DEPENDS ON
WHAT YOU USE AS BAIT.
341
00:17:17,042 --> 00:17:21,082
- UH, MR. DELGATO, ARE YOU
SURE THIS IS GONNA WORK?
342
00:17:21,167 --> 00:17:22,707
- SURE, KID. NO WORRIES.
343
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:25,042
- DOES THIS SUIT
HAVE A DRAIN IN IT?
344
00:17:25,125 --> 00:17:27,575
- [ROARING]
345
00:17:30,167 --> 00:17:33,417
- [SCREAMING]
346
00:17:42,125 --> 00:17:44,995
- [LAUGHING]
347
00:17:45,792 --> 00:17:47,962
A LITTLE TO THE RIGHT NOW.
348
00:17:48,042 --> 00:17:51,752
GOSH, THANKS, MANDY.
MY BRAIN IS SO ITCHY TODAY.
349
00:17:51,833 --> 00:17:54,003
- MY PLEASURE, BILLY.
350
00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:55,423
- [LAUGHING]
351
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:56,080
OH, YEAH.
352
00:17:56,167 --> 00:17:57,497
- IT'S GO TIME, JUNIOR.
353
00:17:57,583 --> 00:18:01,713
YOU'RE READY TO PROVE YOUR
COOLNESS AND WIN MANDY'S LOVE?
354
00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:07,415
EVEN IF IT MEANS HAVING
EVERY LIMB TORN FROM YOUR BODY.
355
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:09,080
- AH!
356
00:18:09,167 --> 00:18:12,957
- THAT'S WHAT I LIKE.
CONFIDENCE.
357
00:18:15,667 --> 00:18:16,457
- [ROARING]
358
00:18:16,542 --> 00:18:20,382
- ALMOST. JUST A FEW MORE--AAH!
359
00:18:20,458 --> 00:18:22,788
WHAT IS THAT?
360
00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:25,130
- FEAR NOT, MORTALS...
361
00:18:25,208 --> 00:18:27,628
AND BONY DEAD GUY.
362
00:18:28,083 --> 00:18:30,003
IT IS I, IRWIN THE MANLY,
363
00:18:30,083 --> 00:18:32,133
WHO CONTROLS
THIS FEROCIOUS BEAST
364
00:18:32,208 --> 00:18:34,418
WITH MY HUNK-LIKE
MANLY COOLNESS.
365
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:38,380
AND NOW, I HAVE COME
TO MAKE YOU MINE.
366
00:18:38,458 --> 00:18:39,708
- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HEAD
367
00:18:39,792 --> 00:18:42,172
AND WHY DO YOU HAVE
A BEATER ON YOUR WRIST?
368
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:46,630
- AH, YOU ARE WOOED
BY MY STUDLY TRANSFORMATION.
369
00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:48,458
- NO, I'M NOT.
370
00:18:48,542 --> 00:18:50,082
- A LITTLE WOOED?
371
00:18:50,167 --> 00:18:50,917
- NEGATIVE.
372
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,960
- A TINY BIT WOOED?
373
00:18:53,042 --> 00:18:55,332
HOW 'BOUT SOMEWHAT--
374
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,957
- OH, NO! IRWIN!
375
00:18:58,042 --> 00:18:59,632
- [BURPS]
376
00:18:59,708 --> 00:19:01,958
- IRWIN, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
377
00:19:02,042 --> 00:19:04,252
- YES! GET ME OUT OF HERE!
378
00:19:04,333 --> 00:19:07,543
AAH! GET ME OUT OF HERE!
379
00:19:07,625 --> 00:19:09,825
- [LAUGHING]
380
00:19:09,917 --> 00:19:11,127
- HOSS, IS THAT YOU?
381
00:19:11,208 --> 00:19:13,078
- YEAH, IT'S ME,
YOU LITTLE HUNKSTER.
382
00:19:13,167 --> 00:19:15,207
IT'S TIME TO FLEX
YOUR MANLY GUNS
383
00:19:15,042 --> 00:19:17,042
AND FIGHT YOUR WAY OUT OF THERE.
384
00:19:17,125 --> 00:19:21,285
USE YOUR BLENDER...ARM...THING.
385
00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:25,575
MMM. ANYBODY?
386
00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:34,330
BOY, THIS REMINDS ME
OF THE TIMES
387
00:19:34,417 --> 00:19:36,207
I'VE HAD TO BUST OUT
OF STOMACHS.
388
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:38,752
AND IF I HADN'T BRAVELY
FOUGHT THROUGH IT,
389
00:19:38,833 --> 00:19:40,003
THEN I WOULD NEVER HAVE BECOME
390
00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:43,543
THE COOL, HUNKY MAN STUD
THAT I AM TODAY.
391
00:19:43,625 --> 00:19:46,375
OOH. SORRY ABOUT THAT.
392
00:19:47,375 --> 00:19:49,165
- OW.
393
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,710
[SLURPING]
394
00:19:50,792 --> 00:19:52,082
- SO, COME ON, IRWIN.
395
00:19:52,167 --> 00:19:53,827
FIGHT YOUR WAY OUT
AND PROVE TO MANDY
396
00:19:53,917 --> 00:19:57,707
YOU'RE A COOL, STUDLY MAN,
AND WIN HER HEART FOREVER!
397
00:19:57,792 --> 00:19:58,792
- YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
398
00:19:58,875 --> 00:20:03,125
I CANNOT BELIEVE--
MOVE YOUR ABS, FABIO.
399
00:20:03,708 --> 00:20:05,458
- URGH!
400
00:20:06,875 --> 00:20:08,535
- MANDY, IS THAT YOU?
401
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,125
DO YOU THINK I'M COOL YET?
402
00:20:10,208 --> 00:20:11,878
- I SURE THINK
YOU'RE COOL, IRWIN,
403
00:20:11,958 --> 00:20:15,498
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU GET PUKED
OUT OF A GIANT MONSTER.
404
00:20:15,583 --> 00:20:18,133
- OH, BROTHER.
405
00:20:18,208 --> 00:20:19,458
- [ROARING]
406
00:20:19,542 --> 00:20:21,382
- AW, SHUT UP.
407
00:20:22,417 --> 00:20:25,127
UNREAL.
408
00:20:25,208 --> 00:20:26,668
WAY TO GO, HERO.
409
00:20:26,750 --> 00:20:28,330
COME ON, GRIM.
410
00:20:28,417 --> 00:20:31,127
- WELL, SPUDLY,
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN NOW.
411
00:20:31,208 --> 00:20:33,378
MY WORK HERE IS DONE.
I HAVE TO LEAVE.
412
00:20:33,458 --> 00:20:37,038
- WHERE ARE YOU GOING, HOSS?
OFF TO CATCH SOME MORE MONSTERS?
413
00:20:37,125 --> 00:20:38,535
HUH? ARE YOU? ARE YOU? ARE YOU?
414
00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:40,245
- ACTUALLY, THE IDIOT CHIP
IN MY BRAIN
415
00:20:40,333 --> 00:20:43,173
IS STARTING TO BURN
A HOLE THROUGH MY FOREHEAD.
416
00:20:43,250 --> 00:20:44,580
- BUT YOU CAN'T LEAVE!
417
00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:46,287
WHAT ABOUT MY TRANSFORMED HEAD?
418
00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:50,205
- DON'T WORRY. THAT'LL WEAR OFF
IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.
419
00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:53,665
TAKE IT EASY.
420
00:20:54,167 --> 00:20:57,457
- THAT HOSS IS COOLER THAN
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PILLOW.
421
00:20:57,542 --> 00:20:58,962
I LOVE HIM!
422
00:20:59,042 --> 00:21:02,962
- COOL. LOVE. MANDY!
423
00:21:03,042 --> 00:21:07,332
WHAT DO I NEED TO DO
TO MAKE YOU THINK I'M COOL
424
00:21:07,417 --> 00:21:09,627
AND WIN YOUR LOVE?!
425
00:21:09,708 --> 00:21:12,418
[CRYING]
426
00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:13,250
- IRWIN?
427
00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:14,543
- YES, MANDY?
428
00:21:14,625 --> 00:21:17,075
- THERE'S SOMETHING
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU.
429
00:21:17,167 --> 00:21:18,497
- YES?
430
00:21:18,583 --> 00:21:20,583
- YOU'RE A NERD.
431
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,960
AND NO SHAGGY HEAD
OR UTENSIL ON YOUR HAND
432
00:21:24,042 --> 00:21:26,002
IS EVER GOING TO CHANGE THAT.
433
00:21:26,083 --> 00:21:27,213
IT'S JUST A FACT OF LIFE.
434
00:21:27,292 --> 00:21:30,082
GET USED TO IT. EMBRACE IT.
MAKE IT YOUR OWN.
435
00:21:30,167 --> 00:21:34,957
NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I'M DUE BACK ON PLANET MANDY.
436
00:21:36,250 --> 00:21:39,460
- HEY, COME ON, PAL.
DON'T BE SO SAD.
437
00:21:39,542 --> 00:21:41,962
SO YOU'RE A NERD! SO WHAT?
438
00:21:42,042 --> 00:21:44,922
NERDS PLAY AN IMPORTANT
ROLE IN THE WORLD.
439
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,170
- OH, YEAH? WHAT?
440
00:21:46,250 --> 00:21:49,580
- WHY, NERDS ARE LIKE THE MOIST
TOWELETTES OF THE UNIVERSE.
441
00:21:49,667 --> 00:21:53,537
THEY MAKE EVERYONE ELSE
FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES.
442
00:21:53,625 --> 00:21:58,665
- GEE, BILLY, THANKS...I THINK.
443
00:21:59,042 --> 00:22:01,002
- GLAD I COULD HELP.
444
00:22:04,167 --> 00:22:06,377
- UGH.
445
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:19,333
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--
446
00:22:32,083 --> 00:22:35,333
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