Original subtitles

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

- HA HA HA HA!

- CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER.

- AND, IRWIN, CHECK THIS ONE OUT!

- THERE'S STILL ASPARAGUS ON IT.

- THIS IS THE BEST GAME EVER!

- THE DISHWASHING GAME!

- I ESPECIALLY LOVE THE WAY THE WATER WRINKLES UP MY SKIN!

- ME, TOO!

- YOU'RE LUCKY YOUR MOM LETS YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!

- MY M-M-MOM?

Y-Y-YEAH.

- WAIT A SECOND! YOU KNOW WHAT?

I DON'T THINK I EVER SEEN YOUR MOM.

- S-SURE, YOU HAVE. - NOPE, DON'T THINK SO.

OOH! OOH! OOH! OOH!

I'LL BET YOU KEEP HER CRYOGENICALLY FROZEN IN THE REFRIGERATOR!

HELLO, MRS. IRWIN? YOU IN HERE?

- CUT THAT OUT, BILLY!

- WHY, IRWIN?

YOU TRYING TO HIDE SOMETHING?

- N-NO! OF COURSE NOT! DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

SHE'S A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WHO'S COMPLETELY NORMAL,

AND THERE'S NOTHING AT ALL WRONG WITH HER.

SHE'S JUST REALLY BUSY AND WORKS ALL DAY AND NIGHT.

I THINK IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO, BILLY.

- GO? WHEN I--

[GRUNTING]

YOU'RE RIGHT. I GOTS TO GO...BAD!

WHERE'S THE BATHROOM? WHERE'S THE BATHROOM?

[GRUNTING]

AH! GOT IT.

I THOUGHT I'D NEVER GET THAT OPEN. BACK TO BUSINESS.

♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO, DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO ♪

♪ OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH, DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO ♪

JUST ONE THING LEFT TO DO.

ALL DONE.

[MUMMY GROWLING]

- HUH? AAAH! MUMMY!

[SCREAMING]

IRWIN!

I SAW SOMETHING HORRIBLE IN THE BATHROOM!

OOH! OOH! OOH! THEN I SAW A MUMMY!

- A MUMMY? - YEAH!

IT WAS WRAPPED IN BANDAGES, WITH SCARY EYES,

AND IT--OH, IT SMELLED!

- BILLY! THAT'S ENOUGH OUT OF YOU, BOY.

IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU GOT TO LEAVING.

- REALLY? BUT WHY?

- LET'S JUST SAY I HAVE TERRIBLE GAS,

AND YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO BE AROUND FOR IT.

AND YOU'VE UNLEASHED THE CURSE OF THE MUMMY UPON YOURSELF.

- D-WHAT?

- NO TIME TO EXPLAIN. JUST GO!

- QUICK THINKING, DAD.

THAT WAS A GREAT EXCUSE TO GET BILLY OUT OF THE HOUSE.

HE ALMOST SUSPECTED SOMETHING.

[DAD PASSES GAS]

- MANDY!

I--I SAW A MUMMY!

MANDY!

- DO YOU HEAR SOMETHING?

[SIGHS] - GO LET HIM IN, GRIM.

- MANDY!

I--I--I THINK IRWIN'S MOMMY IS A MUMMY!

- GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.

- I SAW HER WITH MY OWN EYES!

- LISTEN, BILLY, JUST BECAUSE TWO WORDS SOUND ALIKE

DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE THE SAME THING.

REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE RUBBING YOUR HAIR WITH SHAMPOO,

AND IT WAS ACTUALLY STINKY WET DOG?

- I REMEMBER THAT!

EVERYONE STAYED AWAY FROM ME FOR A WHOLE MONTH.

THIS TIME IT'S DIFFERENT! IT WAS A MUMMY!

AND IRWIN'S DAD SAID I WAS CURSED FOREVER!

- BILLY, IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T BELIEVE YOU,

IT'S JUST... I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.

- I DON'T WANT TO BE CURSED FOREVER!

- HERE, BILLY. THIS MIGHT CHEER YOU UP--

A NICE, BIG STINKY BAG OF DOG--AHEM.

I MEAN, SHAMPOO, FRESH FROM THE FRONT YARD.

- ♪ WASHIN' MY HAIR, JUST WASHIN' MY HAIR ♪

[WHISTLING A TUNE]

[HUMMING]

[GARGLING, GULPING]

HUH? EEEH! WHAT?

PHOOEY! AAAH! AAAH! AAAH!

GET 'EM OFF ME! GET 'EM OFF ME!

- MANDY, DID YOU JUST SEE-- - NOPE.

- IT'S THE CURSE! IT'S THE CURSE OF THE MUMMY!

HELP!

- CURSED, EH?

THE ONLY PEOPLE CURSED ROUND HERE ARE US,

FOR HAVING TO BE EXPOSED TO BILLY'S BUTT-NAKEDISM.

- OK, THERE'S IRWIN'S DAD COMING OUT,

LEAVING FOR WORK AS USUAL.

NOTHING STRANGE THERE.

[ENGINE STARTING]

DARN! THERE'S STILL NO DURN PROOF THAT IRWIN'S MOM IS A MUMMY!

[SECOND ENGINE STARTING]

OOH, YEAH!

I GOT YOU NOW, IRWIN'S MOM.

I KNEW IT! SHE IS A MUMMY!

BIG BUG GOES SQUASH NOW.

[INSECTS BUZZING]

IT'S THE CURSE OF THE MUMMY!

- SURE YOU WANT TO KEEP PLAYING, GRIM?

- HECK, YEAH! DOUBLE OR NOTHING!

- ALL RIGHT.

- GET AWAY FROM ME! AAAH! - GRIM, YOU'VE GOT TO SEE THIS.

- OH, LOOK AT BILLY, RUNNING AROUND BUTT-NAKED. HOW EMBARRASSING!

OK, MANDY, ANTE UP.

I'M DETERMINED TO WIN MY THINGS BACK.

[WHISPERING] - Irwin! Irwin!

- MEOW!

[CAR ALARM BLARING]

[DOGS BARKING]

[CAR HORN HONKING]

- BILLY, IS THAT YOU? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- IRWIN, I HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT THE CURSE OF THE MUMMY

BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

- I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

MAY I SUGGEST YOU GO HOME AND GET BACK IN BED?

[GASPING]

- I WAS RIGHT! IRWIN'S MOM IS A MUMMY!

THE CURSE DOES EXIST!

[RATTLESNAKES RATTLING]

OH, NOT AGAIN.

AAAH!

THE CURSE OF THE MUMMY STRIKES AGAIN!

THE CURSE, I TELL YOU!

- WHAT IS ALL THAT RACKET OUTSIDE?

- AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! AAAH!

- ALL RIGHT, ALREADY. THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.

TIME TO LOOK INTO THIS SO-CALLED MUMMY'S CURSE.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

- I'LL GET IT.

- TV REPAIRMAN, MON.

- TV REPAIRMAN, MON? BUT OUR TELEVISION IS WORKING FINE.

- WELL, UH, YEAH, BUT THE THING IS, UH--

- EXCUSE ME.

LOOKS TO ME LIKE IT'S IN PRETTY BAD SHAPE.

- HUH. IT WAS FINE A MINUTE AGO.

WOW. GOOD THING YOU GUYS CAME WHEN YOU DID.

GO AHEAD AND DO YOUR THANG.

- IS THE COAST CLEAR? - YEP.

NOW, BILLY, SHOW US WHERE YOU FIRST ENCOUNTERED THE MUMMY.

- RIGHT THIS WAY.

I--I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

THIS IS WHERE I FIRST SAW IRWIN'S MUMMY,

BUT THERE'S NO SIGN OF HER ANYWHERE.

- COULD IT BE YOU IMAGINED THE WHOLE THING?

- BILLY, YOU SAID IRWIN'S MOM HAD A BANGED-UP CAR.

ISN'T IT POSSIBLE THAT SHE WAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT

AND HAD TO WEAR A FULL BODY CAST?

- DUH!

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BUGS AND SNAKES THAT ATTACKED ME?

- BILLY, I FOUND THIS IN YOUR SHOWER.

- MY SHAMPOO! GIMME, GIMME, GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!

- BILLY, YOU DO KNOW THAT THIS ISN'T REALLY SHAMPOO, IT'S DOG--

- STEAK SAUCE. - DOG STEAK SAUCE?

NO WONDER IT TASTED SO GOOD!

SO THAT'S WHAT PROBABLY ATTRACTED ALL THOSE BUGS AND SNAKES TO ME.

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.

STUPID ME, THINKING IRWIN'S MOM WAS A MUMMY!

OH, YEAH! BOY, DO I FEEL SILLY!

[TOILET FLUSHING]

OOH! I GET IT!

THIS IS, LIKE, THE "THEME BASEMENT!"

[MUMMY MOANING]

I GET IT! YOU GUYS WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG!

[MUMMY ROARING]

AND IRWIN'S MOM ISN'T REALLY A MUMMY.

SHE'S JUST HIDEOUSLY UGLY BECAUSE SHE'S SO OLD AND HAS BAD SKIN!

SEE?

[GRIM AND MANDY SCREAMING]

- BILLY! GET OFF OF IRWIN'S MOM!

- IRWIN'S MOM? - YES, MANDY.

IRWIN'S MOM IS ACTUALLY A MUMMY.

NOBODY CAN TELL YOU WHO TO FALL IN LOVE WITH,

BUT WE'VE MANAGED TO MAKE IT WORK ALL THESE YEARS,

LEAVING A WHOLE LOT OF QUESTIONS THAT DON'T NEED TO BE ANSWERED.

- EH, WORKS FOR ME.

- DITTO. - ME, TOO.

- YEAH, BUT HOW DID YOU AND IRWIN'S MOM--

- LEAVING A WHOLE LOT OF QUESTIONS THAT DON'T NEED TO BE ANSWERED.

PASS THE SCARAB BEETLES, DEAR. THANKS, HONEY PIE.

[SNAP]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

- SO, MR. IRWIN'S DAD, THERE WAS NO MUMMY'S CURSE, RIGHT?

- OH, NO, BILLY, THE CURSE IS REAL.

WE'VE ALL GOT IT. YOU JUST LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT.

- MANDY, COULD YOU PLEASE PASS THE STEAK SAUCE?

- UH, SURE, BILLY. FRESH FROM THE FRONT LAWN.

- MMM MMM MMM!

YOU GUYS GOTS TO TRY THIS ON YOUR SCARAB BEETLES!

IT'S DELICIOSIOUS, AND IT MAKES GREAT SHAMPOO!

[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]

- DR. GAYLORD AND HIS GOOD-GUY DINOBONOIDS ARE FINISHED.

JURASSIC CREEPS RULE!

- OH...HEY, GANG! IT'S BILLY! WE'RE SAVED!

- DAH DAH DAH-DAH!

BILLY NOBONOID!

- COME ON, TEAM!

WE'RE NOT BEATEN YET, BECAUSE WE ARE...

- THE DINOBONOIDS!

- HEY, TRICERATRON! IT'S TIME YOU WERE EXTINCT!

FULL-ON FRIENDSHIP!

- YEE-HA! WE BEAT THE JURASSIC CREEPS!

- THANKS, BILLY. WE COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU.

- REALLY? - YOU BET.

FROM THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU, I THOUGHT...

- FEEBLE-MINDED DORK. BOYS DON'T PLAY WITH DOLLS.

- YOU DID? - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS...

- BILLY, YOU'RE A PATHETIC NINCOMPOOP.

- I AM PRETTY AWESOME!

- AREN'T YOU A LITTLE OLD TO BE PLAYING WITH DOLLS?

- YOU MEAN, ACTION FIGURES?

- NO. I MEAN DOLLS.

BILLY, WHAT DO YOU THINK PEOPLE WILL SAY

WHEN THEY SEE YOU MAKING EXPLODING NOISES AND THROWING YOUR DOLLS AROUND?

- KABOOM! THEY'LL SAY I'M A HERO.

- THEY'RE ALL GOING TO LAUGH AT YOU.

- MANDY, NOBODY WOULD DARE LAUGH AT THE DINOBONOIDS.

- AH, HA HA HA HA!

- AW, THAT'S JUST SPERG. HE LAUGHS AT EVERYTHING I DO.

- BILLY, THE WORLD IS LAUGHING AT YOU.

[MUFFLED LAUGHTER]

- "FULL-ON FRIENDSHIP!"

HA HA HA HA!

- MOM? DADDY?

- OH, WE'RE SORRY, BILLY.

WE WEREN'T LAUGHING AT YOU,

WE WERE LAUGHING WITH YOU.

- I WAS LAUGHING AT HIM.

- MY OWN PARENTS? JEEZ.

MAYBE IT IS TIME TO LET YOU GO.

- WOW! THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN!

- OH, WHY, GRIM? WHY DO THE GOOD DIE YOUNG?

- WELL, USUALLY BECAUSE I GET CONFUSED.

WELL, ANYHOO, ARE WE READY TO CHOP THEIR LITTLE HEADS OFF?

- NO! I HAVE TO SEZ MY GOOD-BYES.

[SOBBING] GOOD-BYE, BRAVE PROFESSOR GAYLORD.

- OH, I'M MISSING MY SHOWS!

[WAILING]

- AH! OK, OK.

BILLY, I'VE GOT ONE FINAL MISSION FOR YOU.

- YOU DO?

- AND NOW, FOR THE FINISHING TOUCHES!

[THUNDERCLAP]

- HEY! I'M ALIVE!

- ME, TOO!

- HEY, WE'RE ALL ALIVE!

- PRETTY COOL, HUH?

- YOU BROUGHT THE DINOBONOIDS TO LIFE!

- YEP, BUT IT'S ONLY TEMPORARY.

THE MAGIC WILL RUN OUT IN A FEW HOURS AND YOU WILL RETURN TO NORMAL SIZE,

SO DON'T GET SQUISHED.

- ALL RIGHT, GANG, HUDDLE UP.

TEX AND I WILL RUN RECON INTO THE FOREST.

TRICERATRON, YOU AND THE JURASSIC CREEPS TRY AND BUILD A CAMP.

- WAIT!

WHY DO THE JURASSIC CREEPS HAVE TO DO ALL THE HARD WORK?

I THINK WE SHOULD GO ON RECON.

- OH, YEAH? - YEAH!

- ALL RIGHT, YOU TWO, BREAK IT UP!

- AND WHO ARE YOU?

- I AM THE NEW LEADER OF THE DINOBONOIDS.

- NEW LEADER?

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU'RE GOING TO BE LEADER

BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

[SQUIRREL ROARING]

- AAAH!

[SQUIRREL BELCHES]

- WELL, THAT SETTLES IT. I'M THE NEW LEADER.

TRICERATRON, YOU TAKE YOUR JURASSIC CREEPS AND GO OUT IN THE GRASS SOMEWHERE,

AND WE WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND DESTROY YOU.

NOW, BEAT IT!

- COME ON, CREEPS.

- HA HA! I LIKE THE WAY YOU WAGE WAR, BILLY.

- AAAH!

- OH! SHINY CUPCAKE!

- OH, NO, TEX! RUN!

- WELL, WHAT'S THIS?

OK, WE'RE IN.

OOH, A KITTY!

- SHOOT IT!

- MEOW?

[GROANS]

- OH, GOOD KITTY!

- HELLO, FRIENDS. YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I FOUND.

[ZIP]

- HEY, LAZLOW! HOW YOU DOING?

- HELP ME! I THINK HE'S TEETHING!

[BILLY AND TEX SCREAMING]

- YOU'LL LOVE MY TEA PARTY.

AND HERE IS YOUR CHAIR.

NOW, SIT TIGHT.

- BILLY, I CAN'T MOVE! - ME, EITHER!

- OK, WHO WANTS COOKIES?

- COOKIES!

YUMMY! [BELCHES]

- AND WELCOME BACK TO "DA VOODOO DIGEST, MON." HUH!

- MILKSHAKES, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

- TO DESTROY ALL THAT IS GOOD. UH, I MEAN, YEAH.

- HMM. SOMETHING'S FISHY.

- YEAH, SOMETHING'S FISHY.

- NO, SOMETHIN' AIN'T RIGHT. I REMEMBER!

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUTSIDE UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN MY SLIPPERS AND YOUR CAT BOX!

- RETREAT!

- HEY! YOU'RE THOSE JURASSIC CREEPS.

- WE ARE FLEEING FROM THE ONE NAMED BILLY. DO YOU KNOW HIM?

- KNOW HIM? I'M HIS BEST FRIEND.

- ON PURPOSE? - HECK, NO!

I'M THE GRIM REAPER.

I DON'T MAKE FRIENDS, I TAKE FRIENDS!

MY LIFE STINKS.

- WELL, HEY, I NEVER WANTED TO BE AN EVIL VILLAIN.

[ALL GASP]

I DO IT BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'M EXPECTED TO.

- AWWW!

- HEY, MON, IT'S OK.

YOU JUST GOT TO LIVE YOUR DREAMS AND DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

- YOU'RE RIGHT, STICKS.

AND I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A GO-GO DANCER!

YOU KNOW, SHAKE MY BOOTY FOR THE LADIES.

- DO IT, MAN! - YEAH!

- YEAH! JUST DO IT IN THE NEXT HOUR OR SO!

- WHY'S THAT?

- BECAUSE AFTER THAT, YOU'RE JUST TOYS AGAIN,

AND I HAVE TO CHOP YOUR HEADS OFF.

- NO...COOKIE! HELP!

SNACK TIME'S OVER!

- NICE MOVE, BILLY. NOW IT'S MY TURN.

FULL-ON FRIENDSHIP! LET'S MOVE!

[ROARING]

- FASCINATING. SO WITH YOUR SCYTHE,

YOU CONTROL THE POWERS OF THE SUPERNATURAL?

- YEP. - HMM.

THAT MAKES ME HAVE TO, UH, TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.

JURASSIC CREEPS, LET'S ALL GO TO THE BATHROOM.

- BUT I DON'T HAVE TO GO. - YOU WILL WHEN YOU GET THERE.

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE US, GRIM?

- THEY'D BETTER NOT GO IN MY SLIPPERS.

- WHY DO WE HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOM?

- WE DON'T.

WE JUST HAD TO GET AWAY FROM THAT BAG OF BONES.

- WHY?

- BECAUSE WE NEED TO GET THAT SCYTHE.

WITH THAT SCYTHE, I WOULD RULE THE UNIVERSE,

AND THERE WOULD BE NOTHING THE DINOBONOIDS OR BILLY COULD DO TO STOP ME.

[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]

- HA HA HA! WHAT AM I LAUGHING AT?

HA HA HA HA!

- I HOPE MANDY CAN HEAR OUR KNOCKS.

- WHY DON'T WE JUST SHOOT THE DOORBELL?

- GOOD IDEA!

[DOORBELL RINGS]

MANDY WAS SURE TO HEAR THAT!

- SO, BILLY LEFT HIS DOLLS ON MY DOORSTEP.

I GUESS HE COULDN'T BEAR TO DESTROY THEM HIMSELF.

- DESTROY? - IT'S NOTHING.

- WELL, A GIRL'S WORK IS NEVER DONE.

- QUICK, MANDY! WE NEED GRIM!

- WEIRD-LOOKING LITTLE DOLLS.

- HEY! ARE YOU THE LITTLE GIRL THAT'S GOING TO HELP US?

- YEP.

- HA HA HA HA!

THAT SHOWED HIM UP!

- TEX!

- JUST ONE MORE.

- MANDY! NO!

[GRIM SNORING]

- SURPRISE, GRIM.

- YOU BAKED ME A CAKE?

- WE JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU FOR HANGING OUT WITH US.

- REALLY? - FIRE!

- HEY! ME EYES! I CAN'T SEE!

- GRAB THE SCYTHE!

- MAKE ME HUGE! I WANT TO DESTROY THINGS!

HA HA HA HA!

- WELL, THAT DIDN'T WORK.

- WE NEED INSTRUCTIONS! - HMM.

TEACH US HOW TO USE THE SCYTHE, OR WE'LL BLAST YOU!

- I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE EVIL.

- THAT WAS BEFORE YOU SHOWED ME THIS BABY.

- MANDY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IT'S ME! BILLY!

- I KNOW, BUT WHEN WILL I GET A CHANCE LIKE THIS AGAIN?

- FULL-ON FRIENDSHIP, YOU WICKED HARPY!

- PROFESSOR GAYLORD!

STOP FOOLING AROUND, LAZLOW!

- HA HA! YOU CAN'T HURT ME! I'VE DISARMED YOU!

- EEH! [PANTING]

- GOOD WORK, BILLY!

- I'M SORRY I EVER THOUGHT OF GETTING RID OF YOU.

- IT'S ALL RIGHT, BILLY. YOU'RE GROWING UP.

- WELL, I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO PLAY WITH YOU ANYMORE,

BUT I CAN STILL KEEP YOU IN YOUR BOX AND LOOK AT YOU.

WELL, MOST OF YOU.

- OH, THANK YOU, BILLY.

- SHUT UP, LAZLOW!

- WELL, THE MAGIC RAN OUT AT THAT INSTANT, AS MAGIC OFTEN DOES,

AND I GAVE THE JURASSIC CREEPS THE BURIAL THEY DESERVED.

COULDN'T FIND PROFESSOR GAYLORD.

- YOU'RE A PRETTY GIRL.

- AND AS FOR BILLY, WELL, NO ONE EVER SAW HIM AGAIN.

BUT WE DIDN'T LOOK THAT HARD.

- HELLO? HELLO!

[BILLY WHISTLING A TUNE]

♪ I LOVE WASHIN' MY HAIR 'CAUSE MY SHAMPOO TASTES SO GOOD! ♪

HA HA HA!

MMM MMM MMM MMM!

♪ JUST A-WASHIN' MY HAIR, JUST A-WASHIN' MY HAIR ♪

♪ HMM, HMM, YEAH! [WHISTLING]

[GASPS] WAIT A SEC!

[SNIFFING]

THIS ISN'T SHAMPOO! IT'S DOG--

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--]