Original subtitles

- HA HA HA!

- NO MATTER HOW BAD IT SEEMS,

IT COULD GET WORSE.

- LET'S BE FRIENDS.

- L-LET'S B-BE F-FRIENDS!

- LET'S BE FRIENDS.

- COME ON, BOY! GOOD BOY!

HOO HOO HA HA!

- YIP! YIP!

- [ALL LAUGHING]

- AAH! - AAH!

- LET'S BE FRIENDS!

- LET'S BE FRIENDS!

- [CHANTING "LET'S BE FRIENDS" OVER AND OVER]

- NO! NO! NO!

HOLY MOLY!

AAH!

- THOSE YOUR SHEETS, HONEY?

WAS IT THE DREAM ABOUT THE CLOWNS AGAIN?

OHH.

[GRUNTING]

THOSE YOUR SHEETS?

WAS IT THE DREAM ABOUT SANTA CLAUS AGAIN?

UGH!

[GROANING]

- I'M GONNA GUESS THIS HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH BILLY.

- HEY, MANDY.

- 5 POINTS FOR ME. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- HIDING FROM THE CLOWNS!

- THE CLOWN THING. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.

GET OUT HERE!

YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME ASK, AREN'T YOU?

- ASK WHAT?

- WHAT'S WITH ALL OF THE ORANGES?

- THEY'RE NOT ORANGES, THEY'RE TANGEL-ELOS.

- OK. WHAT'S WITH ALL THE TANGELOS?

- CLOWNS HATE TANGELOS. MESSES WITH THEIR EQUILIBRIUM.

- WHO TOLD YOU THAT BUNKUS?

- [WHISTLING]

- BILLY, YOU'VE GOT TO GET OVER THIS RIDICULOUS FEAR OF CLOWNS.

- WHO ARE YOU CALLING RIDIC-U-MOUS?

- WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOUR FEAR OF PROFESSIONAL FIGURE SKATERS?

- THAT'S NOT A FEAR.

I JUST DON'T TRUST THE WAY THEY SPIN IS ALL.

- YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME, MANDY!

THE CLOWNS ARE NOTHING BUT ULTIMATE EVIL!

THEY WANT TO BE THE DOMINANT SPECIES ON THE PLANET,

AND THEY'LL DESTROY US ALL TO MAKE IT HAPPEN!

DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!

DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!

DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!

DESTROY US ALL!

DESTROY US ALL!

DESTROY US ALL!

DESTROY US ALL!

DESTROY US ALL!

I'LL TAKE THE CHICKEN.

DESTROY US ALL!

[REPEATING "DESTROY US ALL"]

- ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.

- OK, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS BACKPACK THING.

IT'S VERY DEMEANING.

I'M THE GRIM REAPER, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE.

I USED TO HAVE A CHARIOT OF 400 BURNING HORSES!

MY ARRIVAL ON THE SCENE WOULD BE A RAGING THUNDERCLAP OF FEAR!

NOW, IT'S "HEY, HAVE YOU SEEN GRIM?"

"YEAH, I THINK HE'S WEDGED BETWEEN THAT HISTORY TEXTBOOK

AND A TUNA FISH SANDWICH."

- DESTROY US ALL!

DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!

[REPEATING "DESTROY US ALL"]

- AND I'M PRETTY SURE THE GUYS

DOWN IN THE UNDERWORLD ACCOUNTING

BEEN LAUGHING AT ME BEHIND MY BACK!

THOSE GUYS ARE TURBO-NERDS!

I BET NONE OF THEM EVEN HAD A DATE SINCE THE 1800s.

HEAR THAT, YOU DATELESS TURBO-NERDS?

I'M ONTO YOU! HMMPH!

- YOU DONE? - YEAH.

WHAT YOU GOT THERE?

- A PAPER MACHE CLOWN HEAD.

- AND YOU'RE SHOWING ME THIS BECAUSE?

- WE'RE GOING TO CURE BILLY OF HIS ANNOYING CLOWNAPHOBIA.

- WITH THAT?

- SOMETIMES, YOU'VE GOT TO CONFRONT YOUR FEARS

TO GET PAST THEM.

- YOU MEAN LIKE YOU AND THE FIGURE SKATING THING?

- IT'S NOT A "THING," OK?

IT'S NOT A THING!

- SO, THIS CLOWN HEAD?

- YEAH, I WANT YOU TO BRING IT TO LIFE

AND MAKE IT ENTERTAIN BILLY.

- OK, STAND BACK.

WOO!

MAMA SAY, MAMA SA, MA MACOSA! MAMA SAY, MAMA SA, MA MACOSA!

MAMA SAY, MAMA SA--

- GET ON WITH IT!

- JUST TRYING TO GET ME MOJO FLOWING.

ALL RIGHT.

BY THE POWER OF THE COLD, COLD AFTERLIFE,

I COMMAND YOU, ARISE!

GIVE IT A MOMENT.

SOMETIMES IT TAKES A FEW SECONDS TO KICK IN.

HEH HEH.

- PATHETIC.

- HMM.

UH, EH, YOU WON'T MENTION THIS TO ANYONE, WILL YOU?

- RAH!

[ROARING]

UNH!

RAH!

AAH!

[SNARLING]

[PANTING]

[GRUNTING]

OH!

[GROWLING]

AAH!

- ALL RIGHT, PLAN B.

DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR LINES?

- OH, PLEASE, MANDY. I'M A PROFESSIONAL.

WHY, JUST LAST WEEK, I KNOCKED 'EM DEAD IN BOISE.

- [MAKING TRUCK SOUNDS]

KEEP ON TRUCKIN'!

TRUCK--TRUCK--TRUCK--TRUCKIN'!

- HEY HEY HEY!

WHO'S READY TO LAUGH?

[HONK HONK]

- CLOWNS!

AAH!

- THAT WENT ABOUT AS WELL AS EXPECTED.

- MOM! DAD! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHO JUST WALKED IN!

HOLY CRUD, THEY'RE STILL HERE!

AAH! BOY, THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE.

THOSE GUYS ALMOST GOT ME.

AAH!

- UGH, SOONER OR LATER, HE'S GONNA RUN OUT OF WINDOWS.

- AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

[KNOCK KNOCK]

- OH, HELLO, BILLY.

- AAH!

- WE CAN'T GIVE UP YET. COME ON.

- I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS GONNA CURE BILLY'S FEAR OF CLOWNS,

BUT SCARING THE DOODY OUT OF HIM SURE IS FUN!

- [GRUNTING]

AAH! AAH!

- MEOW.

AHH.

- HERE, BILLY, BILLY, BILLY!

HERE, BILLY, BILLY, BILLY!

- WHAT'S UP, MANDY?

WEARING MAKE-UP, HUH?

I MUST SAY, IT BRINGS OUT THE WOMAN IN YOU.

- STOW IT, IRWIN.

HAVE YOU SEEN BILLY?

- IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT BILLY, ISN'T IT?

WELL, WHAT ABOUT IRWIN?

WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS?

I GOT NEEDS, TOO!

BABY!

- LOOK! THERE HE IS!

- AAH!

- QUICK! GET HIM!

- SHE'LL BE BACK.

[EIGHTIES MUSIC PLAYING]

- AND PEOPLE THINK I'M SCARY.

1983 ENDED A REALLY LONG TIME AGO, LADIES!

- TARGET SIGHTED.

BILLY!

- UNH! AAH!

- DON'T FEAR US. WE'RE HERE TO MAKE YOU SMILE.

- AND FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, STOP WETTING YOURSELF.

- ALL RIGHT, GRIM. TURN ON THE MUSIC.

[CIRCUS MUSIC]

[TAPE SLOWING DOWN]

- [WHIMPERING]

- THE BATTERIES MUST BE GOING.

DARN BUTTON'S STUCK!

- IGNORE IT. JUST DO THE JUGGLING.

- I DIDN'T REALLY GET TIME TO PRACTICE.

- JUST DO IT!

- [WHIMPERING]

- WHAT WAS THAT? - LOOK!

I TOLD YOU I CAN'T JUGGLE!

I WANTED TO DO THE ROUTINE WITH THE UMBRELLAS,

BUT YOU SAID NO!

AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

- AAH! AAH! - LISTEN!

STOP BEING AFRAID OF CLOWNS!

STOP IT, YOU NINNY! STOP IT, OK?

STOP BEING AFRAID OF CLOWNS!

- GOTTA GO TO MY HAPPY PLACE. GOTTA GO TO MY HAPPY PLACE!

HAPPY PLACE... HAPPY PLACE.

- WHAT'S UP, BILLY? YOU LOOK A LITTLE DOWN.

- WHO ARE YOU?

- I'M YOUR INNER FRAT BOY, DUDE!

- WOW!

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I HAD AN INNER FRAT BOY!

- WELL, SURE! EVERYBODY HAS AN INNER FRAT BOY.

AND SINCE I'M HERE, THAT MUST MEAN YOU NEED MY HELP.

HEH HEH.

- WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT,

I HAVE BEEN HAVING A HARD TIME LATELY.

THESE REALLY SCARY CLOWNS KEEP ON SCARING ME!

- OH, CLOWNS AREN'T SCARY, BILLY.

- THEY'RE NOT? - NO.

THEY'RE JUST DIFFERENT.

AND JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE LOOKS DIFFERENT THAN YOU

OR THINKS DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU,

DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD BE AFRAID OF THEM.

IT MEANS YOU SHOULD BE ANGRY AT THEM!

HOW DARE THEY BE DIFFERENT?

WHAT, MY WAY OF LIFE AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM?

- SO, YOU'RE SAYING I SHOULD BEAT THEM UP?

- BILLY, FIGHTING OUTSIDE OF A HOCKEY RINK IS WRONG,

BUT I'M IMAGINARY, SO DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO.

- THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP, INNER FRAT BOY.

- NO PROBLEM, BILLY.

NOW, YOU READY FOR YOUR PADDLING?

- EH, NO.

- OH, OK.

ANOTHER TIME, THEN.

HEY LOOK, SOME FUNNY CLOWNS!

- SEE, MANDY?

ALL WE HAD TO DO WAS SHAKE HIM AND YELL.

IT'S THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING.

OOH! MY FACE!

- TAKE YOUR STINKING HANDS OFF ME,

YOU STINKING CLOWN!

YOU CLOWNS THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME?

I'LL SHOW YOU! I'LL SHOW YOU ALL!

- BILLY, YOU'RE BEING STUPID AGAIN.

NOW GIVE ME THE SCYTHE.

GRIM, RUN.

- YOU AIN'T BETTER THAN ME! YOU AIN'T BETTER THAN ME!

- IF WE DITCH THESE CLOWN COSTUMES,

HE MIGHT STOP CHASING US!

- HERE SHE COMES, RUNNING BACK TO IRWIN.

YO, BABY! WHAT'S THE HURRY?

OH, HEY, BILLY.

WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?

COME ON, STEP OFF, YO.

WAIT, YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT. STOP!

[FIGHTING, GROANING, SLASHING, SCREAMING]

- HEY, GRIM! HEY, MANDY!

YOU SEE THOSE DIRTY, PUTRID, STINKING, ROTTEN CLOWNS

I CHASED OFF, DID YA?

- YUP, BILLY.

YOU SEEM TO HAVE FINALLY CONQUERED YOUR FEAR.

- YEAH, THAT TOOK GUTS.

- AND RAGE. DON'T FORGET THE RAGE.

- SO, WHO'S UP FOR ICE CREAM SUNDAES?

- OOH! OOH! OOH! ME!

- [HEAVY BREATHING]

- HA! IN YOUR FACE, MANDY!

- RAH!

- SO, IT'S AGREED, THEN?

WE ALL HATE CLOWNS.

- YUP. - MM-HMM.

- MEOW!

- RAH!

[ROARING]

- [ALL LAUGHING]

- ♪ DOO DOO DO DOO DOO DOO ♪

♪ DOO DOO DO DOO DOO DOO DO ♪

- AHH, NOT BAD FOR HOMEMADE, BILLY.

- WHY, THANK YOU, GRIM.

CAN I TOP YOU OFF?

- FILL 'ER UP, MAN.

- WILL YOU BOOBS QUIT PLAYING HOUSE

AND HELP ME FIND THE APPLE?

- UH-OH, GRIM.

IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S A LITTLE CRABBY.

- HA HA HA! - HA HA!

- SOMEONE NEEDS A THICKER SHELL!

- HA HA HA! - HA HA HA!

- YOU TWO HAVE 3 SECONDS TO FIND THE APPLE OF DISCORD,

OR ELSE!

- HEY! GUESS WHAT!

CHICKEN BUTT!

NO, SERIOUSLY.

OVER AT THE FLAB BURGER,

THEY ACTUALLY THROW AWAY FOOD

IF IT'S BEEN UNDER A HEAT LAMP FOR MORE THAN 36 HOURS.

SO, I BROUGHT YOU DOGS LUNCH.

- HERE, ERIS.

PUT THE BURGER IN MY SLIMY, NEW FLIPPERS.

- NO, NO, ERIS. PUT IT IN MY CLAW OF A HEAD.

OR WHY DON'T YOU REST IT ON BILLY'S UDDER?

- HA HA HA!

I GOTS AN UDDER! HA!

- OH! I THOUGHT YOU LOOKED DIFFERENT.

WHAT'S THE MATTER, GRIM, CAN'T HANDLE YOUR OWN MOJO?

- MOJO?

IT WASN'T NO MOJO THAT DID THAT;

IT WAS THAT MAGIC BANANA BILLY FOUND.

- MAGIC BANANA! MAGIC BANANA!

- WHAT MAGIC BANANA ARE YOU

AND THAT TALKING BURRITO SPEAKING OF?

- THIS MAGIC BANANA!

- OH, GRIM!

YOU DIDN'T LET THEM USE THE APPLE, DID YOU?

- UH...UH...

- OH, YOU BET HE DID!

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN ALL THE COOL STUFF

THAT HAPPENED!

GRIM WAS GONNA DESTROY THE APPLE...

- WOW, MANDY!

THIS 600-INCH PLASMA T.V. IS AMAZING!

- THE SOUND SYSTEM AIN'T BAD, NEITHER!

- BILLY, THE ONLY REASON I BROUGHT THAT BURRITO TO LIFE

WAS SO THAT YOU'D STOP ANNOYING ME.

IT AIN'T WORKING.

SO, WOULD YOU JUST EAT THAT THING, ALREADY?

- PLAY! PLAY! PLAY!

BIRD PLAY! BIRD PLAY!

- YEAH! FEEL THAT BASS THUMPING!

- IT'S LOOSENING UP MY EAR WAX!

- MAN, THIS GETS ME PUMPED UP!

HA, IT MAKES ME WANNA... WANNA...

[FARTS]

- REAL NICE.

- I'M SORRY, MAN. IT'S THE BEANS.

- HEY, MANDY!

HOW COME WE NEVER HANG OUT OVER HERE?

- MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE WHENEVER YOU TWO ARE OVER,

SOMETHING BREAKS.

- HEY, MANDY!

YOUR LAMP SHADE'S CROOKED!

- I REST MY CASE.

THERE ARE A FEW THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO KEEP INTACT.

LIKE THE T.V.

IF ANYTHING WERE TO HAPPEN TO THAT NEW T.V.,

I'D...I'D...

GRIM!

- WHAT? I'M INNOCENT!

[CRACKLING]

- HEY, LOOK, GRIM!

THE T.V. IS TRYING TO CONTACT US.

OOH! IT'S COMING CLOSER!

IT MUST WANT TO WHISPER SOMETHING.

- GRIM!

- OH, YEAH, IT WAS ME AGAIN, MANDY.

I DROPPED YOUR 4,000 POUND T.V. ON MYSELF.

- OOPS! SORRY ABOUT THE T.V.

I JUST COULDN'T HELP MYSELF.

YOU BOTH ARE SO CUTE WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY.

- ERIS, WHY ARE YOU HERE?

- I WAS JUST HAVING A LITTLE FUN.

CONSIDER IT MY LAST HURRAH.

- HURRAH!

- YOU SEE, I'M GIVING UP CHAOS.

I GUESS I WON'T BE NEEDING THIS.

GRIM, HERE'S THE APPLE OF DISCORD.

KEEP IT SECRET. KEEP IT SAFE.

- WAIT. WHAT'S THE CATCH?

- WHAT? THERE'S NO CATCH.

THE WORLD IS CHAOTIC ENOUGH.

- LADY SPEAKS THE TRUTH.

- NOPE, I'M DONE WITH CHAOS.

I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING WITH A LITTLE MORE MEANING.

- YOU SING IT!

- I'M GONNA WORK AT THE NEW FLAB BURGER

DOWN THE BLOCK.

SO LONG!

- I'LL HOLD THE BANANA!

- LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT ERIS WAS THINKING,

BUT THIS APPLE IS WAY TOO DANGEROUS

TO LEAVE WITH THE LIKES OF YOU TWO.

IT'S GOING IN MY TRUNK, AND THAT'S FINAL.

AHH, THERE.

NOTHING'S GETTING OUT OF THIS CHEST.

- [SNORING]

- [GIBBERISH]

- AAH!

[PANTING]

- YO, WHAT'S WRONG, BILLY?

- I GUESS I HAD A SCARY DREAM.

- HEY, BILLY.

WHAT'S THAT YOU GOT UNDER THERE?

- HEY! A BANANA!

- HOW DID YOU GET THE APPLE OF DISCORD?

- WHAT APPLE?

THAT APPLE.

- WHAT APPLE WHERE?

- THIS ONE!

- OOH, THAT'S NOT AN APPLE!

THAT'S A...MAGIC BANANA!

- YEAH, MAGIC BANANA.

- WHY, I'D KILL HIM... IDIOT...

[MUMBLING]

...MAGIC BANANA.

AHEM.

- NOT NOW, MANDY. I'M WORKING.

- UGH!

WHAT? AAH!

- YET ANOTHER ONE GETS AWAY.

NICE GOING, MANDY.

HOW DID YOU GET THE APPLE OF DISCORD?

THIS SHOULD BE IN ME TRUNK!

THAT'S IT! I'M GONNA DESTROY THIS THING!

- YOU CAN'T DESTROY THE APPLE OF DISCORD.

WITHOUT CHAOS, THEN ORDER CANNOT EXIST.

SO, IF THE APPLE WERE TO BE DESTROYED,

YOU WOULD HAVE DESTROYED ALL OF EXISTENCE.

- HA, GRIM!

- HEY! GIVE ME THE APPLE BACK!

- NOPE, GRIM! THE BANANA PICKED ME!

- BILLY, THAT APPLE WOULDN'T PICK YOU IF YOU WERE A BOOGER!

- WELL, IT DEPENDS ON WHAT KIND OF BOOGER.

HEY! GIVE THAT BACK!

- GOOD WORK, MANDY! NOW, GIVE ME THE APPLE.

COME ON! HAND IT OVER!

- NO. NO, I DON'T THINK I WILL.

NO, I WILL KEEP THE APPLE!

I WILL CONTROL CHAOS!

I WILL RULE DISCORD!

I WILL BE A DARK AND TERRIBLE QUEEN!

AND I MIGHT PUNCH IRWIN IN THE MOUTH!

- RIGHT, RIGHT.

DARK AND TERRIBLE QUEEN.

I'M DESTROYING THIS THING.

- MAN, YOU'RE JUST GONNA LET THAT SCRUB TAKE YOUR BANANA?

- [BOTH GROWLING]

- WELL, WHAT YOU WAITIN' FOR?

GO GET HIM!

- GET OFF ME!

- HA! - HA!

- HA!

- HA HA!

- HEY! THAT'S NOT FAIR!

- OH, I HEAR YA, GRIM!

I HEAR YA!

- WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

WITH MY PIECES OF APPLE?

- OH, YOU MEAN THIS ONE?

HA HA HA!

- GRR!

- HA HA HA! OH, YEAH!

- GRR!

NOW, WHO'S LAUGHING, HORSE BUTT?

- [FARTS]

- [WHIMPERING]

- HAD ENOUGH?

- GIVE ME THE APPLE SLICES!

DON'T FORCE ME TO USE MY KUNG FU!

AAH!

OH...YOU'RE DESPICABLE!

HA HA! YOU BOTH NEVER LOOKED SO GOOD.

- HOLY GUACAMOLE, FOLKS!

THIS IS WHERE IT REALLY GETS OFF THE HOOK.

- QUIT! HOLD ON!

LET'S JUST TAKE A BREAK FOR A SECOND.

JEEZ, I CAN'T EVEN SEE WHERE I AM ANYMORE.

AH, THAT'S BETTER.

- HEY, WHO'S GOT MY PIECE OF APPLE?

- HEY! MY PIECE IS GONE!

BUT I HAVE THESE COOL UDDERS!

- AAH! - AAH!

- GRIM, I TRUSTED YOU TO KEEP THE APPLE OF DISCORD SAFE!

I CAN SEE I WAS WRONG.

- SHAME ON YOU!

- WELL, WELL, THIS MIGHT HAVE BEEN MY BEST IDEA...

EVER!

[KNOCKING]

OH, IRWIN!

JUST WHO I WAS LOOKING FOR!

YOU SEE, IRWIN, THIS WORLD IS SO CHAOTIC AND CRAZY

THAT IT DOESN'T NEED ME ANYMORE.

AND I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TRUSTWORTHY

TO WATCH MY APPLE FOR ME.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

- DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!

[REPEATING "DESTROY US ALL"]

[SHOUTING STOPS]

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--