Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHTER] WE ALL GO A LITTLE MAD SOMETIMES.

COOL!

VAST, UNFORGIVING WASTELAND,

WHOSE EVERY GRAIN OF SAND LONGS TO STIFLE OUT MY LITTLE LIFE.

- SOMETHING THE DESERT AND I HAVE IN COMMON.

- LUCKY WE HAVE THIS INSULATED, MODERN SCHOOL BUS

TO WHISK US SAFELY ACROSS THIS WASTELAND.

[CRASH]

- OH, MY. OH, MY GOODNESS.

WELL, CLASS, IT LOOKS LIKE OUR FIELD TRIP

TO THE MUSEUM OF SCIENCE

ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN.

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BRING THE SCIENCE TO US.

- COOL! DESERT FUN!

DESERT FUN, DESERT FUN!

[GASPS] I'M SO HOT.

[SCREECHING]

- WE'RE NEVER GONNA GET HOME.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO EAT EACH OTHER TO SURVIVE!

[SLURP]

- WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, SPERG?

- YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

- YOU DROPPED A PICKLE.

- OH. THANKS.

- CHILDREN EATING CHILDREN?

THIS MAY BE FUN AFTER ALL.

- CLASS, TODAY WE'RE GOING TO DIG FOR FOSSILS.

EVERYONE GRAB A SHOVEL AND START EXCAVATING.

- EXCAVATING? THAT'S CODE FOR DIGGING.

YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYERS.

- MMM. PUT YOUR BACKS INTO IT, CHILDREN.

THE ROAD TO LEARNING IS PAVED WITH PAIN.

- HI, LITTLE BUDDY.

AAH! OH-UHH-OOH-UHH-OW-OOH!

UHH!

[SLURPING]

- MMM. MMM-MMM.

- COOL!

- HEY, LOSERS.

I FOUND A PERFECTLY PRESERVED T. REX.

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?

- JUST THIS.

- AAH!

- I'M BORED.

- AAH! AAH!

AAH! AAH! AAH!

- LET'S GO EXPLORING.

- AAH!

[GRUNTING AND PANTING]

- I'M SO THIRSTY! [PANTING]

- GO SUCK A CACTUS.

[SLURP]

[WHIMPERING]

- WHAT DO YOU THINK MADE THEM?

- I DON'T THINK I WANT TO KNOW.

- LOOK! I'M A BILLY GOAT!

[BAA BAA]

- IF ONLY HE HAD THE BRAIN OF A BILLY GOAT.

- COOL! [ECHOING] COOL!

THERE'S SOMEONE DOWN THERE, AND HE SOUNDS LIKE ME!

- HE MAKES ME FEEL SO VERY INTELLIGENT.

[HISSING SOUND]

WHAT WAS THAT?

DID YOU SEE THAT?

- I THINK WE SHOULD GO. NOW.

- I'M WITH YOU, SISTER.

- I GOTS TO GO NOW. MY FRIENDS ARE LEAVING.

[ECHOING] I GOTS TO GO NOW. MY FRIENDS ARE LEAVING.

HEY! HIS FRIENDS ARE LEAVING, TOO!

AAH!

- WE'VE GOT TO GO GET HIM.

- COULDN'T WE JUST SAY WE DID?

- COME ON.

[CLUCKING AND SQUAWKING]

- THAT IS ONE BIG CHICKEN.

[ROARING]

THAT'S IT. WE'RE OUT OF HERE.

- UNFORTUNATELY, WE CAN'T LEAVE HIM.

- AWW. I KNEW YOU TWO WERE SWEETHEARTS.

[KISSING]

- HE OWES ME 10 BUCKS.

- 10 BUCKS? THAT'S CHICKEN FEED.

CHICKEN FEED. JUST LIKE BILLY.

[LAUGHS] HEY, MANDY, I MADE A FUNNY.

WHERE ARE WE?

[SQUAWKING]

- AAH!

- WHAT IS IT?

- CH-CH-CH-THE CHICKEN.

- THOSE ARE SOME UGLY CHICKENS.

I GUESS WE KNOW WHERE OUR GIANT POULTRY CAME FROM.

- WHAT IS THIS PLACE?

- I'M SURE A WRITER'S CONVENIENCE

WILL TURN UP AND FILL US IN.

- A WRITER'S CONVENIENCE? WHAT'S THAT?

- THIS LABORATORY WAS BUILT UNDERNEATH

A DORMANT VOLCANO

AND USED BY THE MILITARY TO TRAIN SUPERCHICKENS

DURING THE COLD WAR.

AFTER BUDGET CUTS AND A FEW MISHAPS,

I'M THE ONLY ONE LEFT.

NOW THE CHICKENS HAVE ESCAPED.

IF THOSE CHICKENS GET OUT INTO THE CITY,

THAT'S IT, MAN. GAME OVER. GAME OVER, MAN!

I MEAN, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW?

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

AAH! THE GRIM REAPER!

WE'RE ALL DOOMED!

- GRIM, CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING ABOUT THESE CHICKENS?

- NO. THESE MONSTERS WERE CREATED BY SCIENCE.

OUT OF MY JURISDICTION.

- WELL, THEN, THIS SITUATION CALLS FOR

SOME GOOD, OLD-FASHIONED BUTT-KICKING.

- HEY! THAT'S MINE!

[SNORING AND MUTTERING]

- HYUH! EE! HUH?

[CHIRPING]

- AWW, YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE!

AWW, TURN THOSE FROWNS UPSIDE DOWN.

[SHRIEKING]

DID SOMEONE WAKE UP ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE YOLK?

[GROWLING]

[SCREAMING]

- ALL RIGHT, YOU DUMB CLUCKS.

THERE'S A NEW PECKING ORDER.

[SHRIEKING AND MUNCHING]

[SHRIEKING]

- AWW, WE WERE HAVING FUN!

- SOUNDS LIKE THEY'RE COMING BACK.

- AND THEY BROUGHT FRIENDS.

- YAY!

- IT'S OBVIOUS THEY HAVE ALREADY PECKED YOUR BRAINS OUT.

[SHRIEKING]

- GOOD BIRDIES, GOOD BIRDIES!

IT IS MY SCIENTIFIC OPINION THAT

NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO RUN!

I'LL TRY TO SLOW THEM DOWN.

AIIEE!

- HERE THEY COME!

[ROARING]

[PANTING]

[ROARING]

[SHRIEKING]

[ROARING]

- NICE GOING, BONEHEAD.

[SQUAWKING AND SHRIEKING]

- AAH!

- LOOK AT ALL THOSE EGGS.

- AND I'M HUNGRY AS A JAYBIRD ON A DIET ON THE FOURTH OF JULY!

OOH! LOOK! I'M ROCKY BALBOA!

[MUNCHING]

AAH!

- I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT SUPERCHICKEN EGGS HAVE ACID YOLKS.

- I HATE THESE EGGS!

- UM, BILLY?

- HATE 'EM! HATE! HATE! HATE!

- UM, BILLY, IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU,

YOU'LL SET ASIDE YOUR HATRED OF EGGS AND--

- NOW CAN WE LEAVE HIM TO DIE?

[ROARING]

- UH, GUYS?

[ROARING AND SHRIEKING]

- COME ON, YOU CRUMMY THING, WORK! [DING]

[ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYING]

[CRASH]

- OW!

WHY DON'T YOU PECK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE?

- GRIM, GET THE DOOR.

[CREAKING]

[SQUAWKING]

- COOL!

- YAY! OOH! [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[DING]

- AHH. I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER.

- GIANT CHICKENS FROM THE SKY!

NOW WE WON'T HAVE TO EAT EACH OTHER TO SURVIVE.

[MUNCHING]

- TOUCH LUCK FOR YOU, KID.

- HEY, GRIM, YOU KNOW HOW YOU DID THAT FORCE FIELD THINGY

THAT KEPT THE VOLCANO FROM COOKING US?

- YES.

- WHY DIDN'T YOU USE IT TO SAVE ME FROM THE CHICKENS?

- BECAUSE, BILLY, I DON'T LIKE YOU.

[LAUGHS]

- OH, YEAH. [LAUGHS]

[GRUNTING] OH!

[SNORING AND SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[TOILET FLUSHING]

[ROARING]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[LAUGHING]

HONEY, WHERE'S JUNIOR?

HE'S GOING TO BE LATE FOR HIS FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.

- DON'T KNOW, DEAR, BUT DO ME A FAVOR

AND LET THE DOG OUT.

[PANTING] HOLD IT.

I DON'T SEEM TO REMEMBER US HAVING A DOG.

[PANTING]

JUNIOR.

- JUNIOR, I TOLD YOU, NO FORM-SHIFTING IN THE HOUSE.

- WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT ANYWAY, SON?

- I DON'T WANT TO START SCHOOL.

WHAT IF NO ONE LIKES ME?

- BUT, JUNIOR, YOUR COUSIN BILLY WILL BE THERE.

- THAT'S RIGHT, SON,

AND WHO MAKES A BETTER FRIEND THAN A FAMILY MEMBER?

THAT'S WHY I MARRIED YOUR BEAUTIFUL MOTHER.

- MMM. [DOG BARKING AND MONKEYS SHRIEKING]

- YUCK. OLD PEOPLE LOVE.

- OH, YOU'RE OK, KID. NEXT.

[DING]

- THERE'S NO WAY THAT'S ALL HOMEWORK.

WHAT'S IN THERE, ANYWAY?

- IT'S A THING THAT'S GONNA HELP ME ACE THE TEST TODAY.

HELP! IT'S GOT ME!

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. HOLD ON THERE, SON.

WHAT THE--WHY, I NEVER...

NOTHING METAL. HA HA. MOVE ON.

[CRASH]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[GRUNTING]

- OOH! UHH!

OH! UHH!

UHH! UHH! UHH!

UHH! UHH! UHH! UHH!

UHH! UHH! UHH!

[FLUSHING]

[WHIMPERING]

- BILLY, YOU SAID WE WERE GOING TO THE MORGUE.

- SO YOU'RE USING GRIM TO CHEAT ON THE BIG TEST TODAY?

YOU KNOW, CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER IN THE LONG RUN.

- I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT WHAT AM I?

- YOU'RE THE BIGGEST IDIOT IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- OH, IT DIDN'T WORK.

- HERE. TRY THE STAPLER.

- HEY, BILLY, ISN'T THAT YOUR COUSIN NERGAL JUNIOR?

- HELLO, COUSIN.

- NAH, THAT CAN'T BE HIM.

MY COUSIN'S A 4-EYED FREAK FROM THE CENTER OF THE EARTH.

THEY'D NEVER LET HIM INTO A HIGH-CLASS JOINT LIKE THIS.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- EWW!

- JUNIOR.

YES, YOU, JUNIOR.

- Y-YES, MA'AM.

- WHY DON'T YOU STAND AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO THE CLASS?

[GULP] [CLEARS THROAT]

- HELLO, CLASS. MY NAME--

[COUGHING]

CAN HE--CAN HE DO THAT, MS. BUTTERBEAN?

- WHY, YES. HE CAN.

HE'S BIGGER THAN YOU. [GIGGLES]

[GASPS]

[SCREAMING INDISTINCTLY]

AS YOU KNOW, THERE WILL BE A TEST TODAY,

WHICH I HOPE EVERYBODY STUDIED FOR.

- HMPH.

[TICKING]

- OK, GRIM. FIRST QUESTION.

4 TIMES 1 EQUALS...

- THIS IS MATH, BILLY.

YOU TOLD ME IT WAS HISTORY.

I DON'T KNOW ANY MATH.

- WHAT'S MATH?

[SNORING]

- HERE, IRWIN.

- FOR ME? COOL.

- AAH! I CAN'T SEE!

[SLURPING]

[GOBBLING]

[GOBBLING]

- BLEH!

- GRR.

[RINGING]

- YOU'LL BE GETTING YOUR TEST SCORES AFTER LUNCH,

SO HURRY BACK.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- SURE, DUDE. WHATEVER.

- NO, REALLY. I MEAN IT.

HIS SKELETON'S IN THE TOILET.

I SEEN IT FOR REAL!

- HEY, HOW'S THE GELATIN TODAY?

[GOBBLING]

[GULPING]

- HMM. YECH! IT'S LOUSY!

- HEY!

- OH, I'M SO GONNA FAIL THIS TEST.

JUNIOR! I GOTS AN IDEA!

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE OVER

MS. BUTTERBEAN'S FORM, HEE HEE,

AND THAT WAY, I'LL ACE THE TEST!

- NICE HAIRDO, WIENER.

- I'M NOT INTERESTED IN THE TEST.

I'M INTERESTED IN REVENGE.

- NOW YOU'RE TALKIN.' I CAN'T SUPPORT CHEATING...

BUT REVENGE IS SOMETHING I CAN REALLY GET BEHIND.

- MMM.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

- OH, MS. BUTTERBEAN,

I REALLY ENJOYED THE TEST TODAY.

- THAT'S NICE. WHY DON'T YOU TELL SOMEONE WHO--

- AAH!

[SCREAMING]

[WOLF HOWLING]

[CRASH]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- WHERE'S THAT NEW WIMP?

I'M GONNA GIVE HIM THE WEDGIE OF A LIFETIME.

- GOOD AFTERNOON, CLASS.

I HAVE YOUR TEST SCORES.

[BAA] MINDY, GEORGE, BILLY.

- AN "F?

I THOUGHT WE HAD A DEAL.

- AWW. COULDN'T DO IT.

4 TIMES 1 IS DEFINITELY NOT

A PICTURE OF A CLOWN WITH A FLAMETHROWER.

- HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID? [SOBBING]

- OH.

- OH, AND THOSE OF YOU WHO GOT "F"s

CAN STAY BEHIND AFTER CLASS.

WELL, WELL, WELL. LOOK WHO'S LEFT.

- HA HA HA! YOU DORKS FAILED!

- I NEVER FAIL, SPERG. I'M JUST STAYING TO WATCH.

- WATCH WHAT?

- I LIKE APPLES. DO YOU LIKE APPLES?

- UM, YEAH.

- YES. YOU LIKE APPLES.

HERE, HAVE SOME MORE.

HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?

[INDISTINCT], MS. BUTTERBEAN.

- YOU WERE GOING TO GIVE ME THE WEDGIE OF A LIFETIME, EH?

- [INDISTINCT]

- WELL, MAYBE IT'S TIME

YOU HAD A WEDGIE OF YOUR OWN!

- I THINK I LIKE THIS TEACHER.

- BUT, MS. BUTTERBEAN,

YOU CAN'T DO THAT. YOU'RE A TEACHER!

- I CAN DO WHATEVER I PLEASE.

I'M BIGGER THAN YOU!

- AAH!

- OOH! OOH! OOH! LOOK!

SPERG'S GOT THE SAME BUNNY UNDERWEAR I DO!

- AND I HAVE TONS OF NEW FRIENDS,

AND I GRADED ALL THE TESTS.

- WHY, THEY'VE ALREADY GOT HIM GRADING PAPERS.

JUST FOR THAT, YOU GET TO KEEP YOUR NEW PET.

- ALL RIGHT! HERE, BOY!

- IT'S BETTER THAN WHAT MY MOM MAKES!

- NO BONES.

- WHEW.

[MUFFLED SPEECH]

I SUPPOSE I'M EXPECTED TO CLEAN ALL THIS UP, EH?

- WHOOOAAA..

- WHAT? WHAT?

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

[INDISTINCT SPEECH]