Original subtitles

[LAUGHING]

CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE?

[SPIT]

OK, GRIM. ALL FINISHED.

I'M LEAVING.

[WHISTLES]

OH, COME ON.

EVERYBODY LOVES THE BEACH.

I DON'T LOVE ANYTHING.

EXCUSE ME. ARE YOU DECEASED?

YOU SUCK THE LIFE RIGHT OUT OF ME.

I'M MALARIA.

THEY CALL ME GRIM.

[KISS]

LET US LEAVE THIS DREADFUL PLACE.

GRIM, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT WAX DUMMY?

THIS OUGHT TO BE INTERESTING.

[WOLVES HOWLING]

I'M QUEEN OF THE UNDERWORLD!

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU CAN TELL WHEN SOMEONE FAKES?

TRUST ME. I KNOW.

[MALARIA GROANS]

ARE YOU OK?

GETTING DARK...OOH...

[CHOKING] AAAH!

[GASP] [COUGH]

AAAH!

[GASPING AND COUGHING]

AAAH.

[CHOKING AND COUGHING]

[GASP]

[CHOKE]

AAAH!

[GLASS BREAKS]

[GASP]

I DIDN'T DO IT.

[HUMMING]

[GASP]

[GASP]

OOH, YOU BUSTED ME BAGPIPES.

[BOTH LAUGH]

NOW, THIS TIME, BILLY,

WHEN I THROW THE FRISBEE, YOU CATCH IT.

YEAH-YEAH-YEAH- YEAH-YEAH-YEAH- YEAH-YEAH-YEAH.

ARGH.

GRIM?

IN THE FLESH. HA HA HA HA HA.

SO, I TAKE IT YOUR DATE WENT WELL?

I'M KING OF THE UNDERWORLD.

HAVE YOU TOLD HER YOU'RE NOT HUMAN YET?

NO.

YOU REALIZE ONCE YOU TELL HER, SHE WON'T BE SO KEEN ON YOU.

SHE'LL BE OK WITH A LITTLE WEEPING.

PROVE IT. TELL HER TONIGHT.

FINE. I WILL.

AND SHE'LL STILL LOVE ME...I HOPE.

Malaria: OH, TOMBSTONE BOOTHS.

AND DELICIOUSLY MORBID.

YES, PERFECTLY SPOOKY.

WHAT'S WITH THE LONG FACE?

THE TRUTH IS--

Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

TIME FOR A REALLY BIG DANCE CONTEST.

[SNORT]

NOW, WELCOME CONTESTANTS.

THAT'S US!

[CROWD CHATTERING]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

Both: OOH!

AHHH!

[GROWL]

[GASP]

Y-YOU'RE REAL, GRIM REAPER? [GASP]

I AM.

AAAH!

UGH, UGH, UGH, UGH, UGH.

[GASP] AAAH!

[GASP]

AAAH!

HE-HE'S--HE'S--

THE GR-GR-GRIM--GRIM-- REA-REA-REAPER!

CALL ME.

Malaria: AAAH!

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

OH!

[ALL SUDDENLY WHISPERING]

UH, MANDY?

WHAT, IRWIN?

W-W-WOULD YOU GO TO THE DANCE WITH ME?

HMM.

THE OFFERING OF THE FLOWER--

A COURTSHIP RITUAL INVENTED TO INSPIRE

LOVE, CARING, AND TOGETHERNESS.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

YOU...ME...THE DANCE...

T-T-TOGETHER?

OH. THE ANSWER...

NOPE.

ROMANCE IS FOR THE WEAK-MINDED.

Billy: NEW FRIEND COMING THROUGH!

NEW FRIEND COMING THROUGH!

OUT OF THE WAY! ONE SIDE!

NEW FRIEND RIGHT HERE.

HI, GUYS. THIS IS MY NEW FRIEND.

[GASP]

HE HASN'T TOLD ME HIS NAME YET. RIGHT, PAL?

[SLOWLY] RIGHT. THIS IS IRWIN.

HI.

Billy: AND MANDY.

[HEARTBEAT POUNDING]

AHHHHHH.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[SOFT LAUGHTER]

MANDY, SAY HELLO.

[BLEATING]

COOL! COOL!

WHAT'S HIS NAME, AGAIN?

WELL, YOU'VE GOTTA CALL HIM SOMETHING.

HMM.

UH...

[SPUTTERING]

PIFF. WE'LL CALL HIM PIFF.

PIFF?

PIFF.

Woman: HI, MANDY.

SO, WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM?

THIS.

[HEARTBEAT POUNDING]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[HARPS PLAYING]

WHY, MANDY.

LI'L PUMPKIN, YOU'RE IN LOVE!

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

OH, MANDY, YOUR HEART IS SPEAKING TO YOU.

FOLLOW IT, DEAR CHILD,

FOR IT IS THE ONLY ROAD TO TRUE HAPPINESS.

Voices: ♪ THE HEART

[GLASS BREAKS]

THE HEART.

OF COURSE.

HIYA, GRIM.

THIS IS MY NEW FRIEND.

AND WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

COME ON, YOU CAN TELL OLD GRIM. I WON'T BITE.

HA HA HA! MUCH.

HE'S PIFF!

[BILLY LAUGHING]

I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, PIFF!

I WANT YOU TO CUT IT OUT.

BUT HE STARTED IT.

NOT THAT. MY HEART.

I WANT YOU TO CUT OUT MY HEART.

THAT, I CAN DO.

SO, MANDY, TO WHOM DO I OWE THE HONOR

OF CUTTING OUT YOUR HEART?

I'M IN LOVE WITH BILLY'S STUPID NEW FRIEND.

PIFF?!

SIT TIGHT. I KNOW A BETTER WAY.

WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU, YOU WON'T RECOGNIZE YOURSELF--

AND NEITHER WILL HE.

AS LONG AS I CAN HATE AGAIN.

OH, YOU'LL HATE, ALL RIGHT. YOU'LL HATE.

HERE YOU GO, PIFF. IT'S YOUR FAVORITE.

IT'S GOT MUSTARD. MMM.

[SLOWLY] COME ON. MUSTARD.

MMM. THAT HITS THE SPOT, EH, PIFFY?

Mandy: HELLO, BOYS.

WHAT'S ON THE MENU?

PIFF.

[HEARTBEAT POUNDING]

[GULP]

[WHIMPERING]

WELL?

WOULD YOU GO TO THE DANCE WITH ME, EH?

[GLASS BREAKS]

EH?

[HEARTBEAT RACING]

[HEARTBEAT STOPS]

NO.

GO, PIFF!

[CRASH]

LIKE I SAID, ROMANCE IS FOR THE WEAK-MINDED.

Billy: IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY.

IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY, IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY.

GUESS WHAT TODAY IS.

UM...VALENTINE'S DAY?

NO. IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY!

TODAY IS THE DAY THAT LOVERS SEND EACH OTHER ROMANTIC CARDS

THAT SAY, "I LOVE YOU."

GROSS.

ONE MIGHT SAY THAT YOU LOSE YOUR HEADS

IN THE HEAT OF PASSION.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Man: WELL, BILLY, IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY,

SO WE'RE OFF FOR A ROMANTIC WEEKEND.

OOH, OOH, OOH. HEY, LET'S GO TO DYNOBANOIDLAND.

UH, WHAT I MEAN IS, JUST THE TWO OF US

ARE OFF FOR A ROMANTIC WEEKEND.

TOUGH LUCK, MAMA. DADDY AND I ARE OFF TO DYNOBANOIDLAND.

I THINK WHAT YOUR FATHER MEANS IS--

WHAT I MEAN IS THAT YOUR MOTHER AND I ARE LEAVING

AND YOU'RE NOT.

BUT IF YOU'RE NOT HERE,

MILKSHAKE'S SECRET HUT?

[PASSES GAS] [MEOW]

OH, DON'T YOU WORRY, SWEETHEART.

AUNT SIS WILL BABYSIT YOU.

[SIGH]

HOW COME YOU'RE NOT GOING ON A ROMANTIC WEEKEND?

[SIGH]

OH, BILLY. YOUR AUNT SIS IS A SPINSTER.

THAT MEANS SHE HASN'T HAD ANYBODY TO LOVE

IN HER PATHETIC, LONELY LIFE.

WELL, NOT SINCE 25 YEARS AGO.

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING] YOUR AUNT SIS WAS DANCING WITH

DOLPHIN LAYGRON.

OOH, HE HAD ALL THE MOVES.

THEY WERE SO MUCH IN LOVE.

IT WAS THE HAPPIEST 4 1/2 MINUTES OF HER LIFE...

WELL, UNTIL DOLPHIN FELL IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER GIRL

AND BROKE AUNT SIS' HEART.

THAT MAN HAD ALL THE MOVES.

BYE-BYE, BILLY.

HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!

YOU'RE A SPLINTER.

[SIGH]

SO, DESPERATE FOR COMPANIONSHIP,

I, TOO, LONG FOR A FRIEND.

WHAT DO YOU SAY, AUNT SIS?

ARE YOU DESPERATE ENOUGH TO SETTLE FOR ME?

Billy: OOH, HEY, GUYS.

THIS IS MY BABYSITTER, AUNT SIS.

SHOULDN'T SHE BE OFF ON SOME ROMANTIC GETAWAY?

HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!

NO. SHE'S A SPLINTER,

'CAUSE SHE'S GOT NOBODY.

[LOUD RUMBLING]

[CHATTERING]

NERGLINGS.

IT'S TONY CURTIS.

NO, BILLY. IT'S NERGAL.

[BEEP BEEP]

OUR MORTAL ENEMY FROM THE CENTER OF THE EARTH.

OH. YEAH.

BEE JING, PREPARE FOR COMBAT.

[PASSES GAS]

YOU'RE EVEN MORE DESPERATE IN REAL LIFE.

AAAH.

Billy: KEEP YOUR DIRTY PAWS OFF HER.

SHE'S MINE.

OH, REALLY?

YEAH, REALLY.

SO GO FIND LOVING COMPANIONSHIP SOMEWHERE ELSE.

[GIGGLING]

HEY. OOH!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

DARLING, LET ME TAKE YOU ON

THE MOST MEMORABLE NIGHT OF YOUR PITIFUL LIFE.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

IF YOUR AUNT FALLS FOR NERGAL,

AND THEY GET MARRIED,

THEN YOU AND NERGAL WILL BE RELATED.

MUST...STOP... THE LOVE.

[MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING]

TO LOVE.

YEAH, WHATEVER.

RROWR.

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

[SIGH]

THERE'S NOTHING A BUCKET OF SPIDERS CAN'T FIX.

AAAH, A BUG.

GET IT OFF. GET IT OFF.

AAAH!

[THUMP]

I'M OK.

AAAH! AAAH! AAAH!

AH, AUNT SIS. WOULD THAT I COULD GIVE YOU THE WORLD.

ALAS, ALL I CAN OFFER IS MY HEART.

KEEP YOUR ORGANS TO YOURSELF, BUB.

Woman: OH, JOE. OF COURSE I'LL MARRY YOU.

BABYCAKES, THIS RING REPRESENTS MY ETERNAL--

BLAST. WHERE IS THAT STUPID THING?

OH!

EEE! OOH! EEE! OOH!

Billy: HEE HEE HEE! ♪ YOU LOOK LIKE A DORK

NOW MY AUNT SIS WILL NEVER FALL IN LOVE AND MARRY YOU,

AND YOU AND I WON'T BE RELATED.

Aunt Sis: OH, NERGAL.

I LOVE YOU.

I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYBODY MOVE

LIKE THAT BEFORE.

YOU'RE HOT.

SO, AUNT SIS,

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

OH, YES.

OF COURSE I'LL MARRY YOU.

NEPHEW.

WELL, BILLY, I GUESS THAT WILL MEAN

FAMILY VISITS TO

THE ROASTING CENTER OF THE EARTH.

BILLY?

HEE HEE HEE HEE! HEY, I FOUND ANOTHER PIECE OF CANDY.

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