Original subtitles

♪♪

[LAUGHTER]

♪♪

WE'RE BACK, WITH A VENGEANCE

THE FIRST DAY OF SUMMER.

ISN'T IT GLORIOUS?

PUT A SOCK IN IT, GRIM.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU TWO?

THEY'RE SENDING ME TO FAT MATH CAMP.

AND I'M BEING SENT TO HAPPY GIRLS FUN CAMP OF JOY AND NICENESS.

THAT'S A BUMMER.

THE BUS IS DUE ANY MINUTE.

MAYBE I CAN HELP.

"TOADBLATT'S SUMMER SCHOOL OF SORCERY."

SWEET!

HERE'S YOUR BUS NOW.

WHOO-HOO!

HEH HEH HEH. HO HO HO.

[BUZZER]

WHOA! WHAT IS IT NOW, MISS LARGEBOTTOM?

PARDON ME, MR. TOADBLATT. THE NEW STUDENTS HAVE ARRIVED.

Toadblatt: UGH, SEND THEM IN.

COME IN, COME IN.

WELCOME TO THE TOADBLATT SCHOOL OF SORCERY.

I AM DEAN TOADBLATT.

EXCUSE ME...

FOR THROUGH THESE HALLOWED HALLS

HAVE PASSED THE GREATEST WITCHES, WARLOCKS, AND WIZARDS

THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN.

WHY, IF EVER, OH, EVER, A WIZ THERE WAS--

I GOT TO WHIZ.

JUST HOLD IT, BUSTER.

IT'S TIME TO PUT ON THE SQUID HAT.

♪ OH, I'M SLIMY, I'M UGLY, AND I AIN'T GOT DOUGH ♪

♪ BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHERE YOU CAN GO ♪

♪ PUT ON YOUR SQUID HAT, BABY--OW! ♪

THIS ONE GOES TO GUNDERSTANK.

GUNDERSTANK.

GUNDERSTANK.

SPLENDID.

HEH HEH HEH. TICKLISH.

WOW! NOW, THIS ONE'S AN EMPTY VESSEL, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

YOU MEAN A FERTILE MIND THAT'S OPEN TO LEARNING?

MAN, I MEAN EMPTY.

HIS HEAD'S AS HOLLOW AS A COCONUT.

BETTER SEND HIM TO WEASELTHORPE.

WEASELTHORPE?

WEASELTHORPE.

I HATE WEASELTHORPE.

NOTHING BUT NINCOMPOOPS, FREAKS, AND WEIRDOS.

THE WORST HOUSE ON THE CAMPUS.

THEY DREW MY PICTURE ON THE REST ROOM WALL.

NO! OH, YES.

I SAW IT.

"FOR A GOOD TIME," INDEED.

BUT THEY'LL GET THEIRS, YOU'LL SEE.

I, UH, UM...

WHERE WERE WE?

YOU'RE NEXT, CUPCAKE.

GOOD. I'M IN A MOOD FOR CALAMARI.

UH, WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO ME?

[CRASH]

MOMMY!

YAH! JU-JUST PUT HER IN WEASELTHORPE.

AH, THE GRIM REAPER.

I'M A BIG FAN OF YOUR WORK.

I'M MAKING YOU PREFECT OF GUNDERSTANK HOUSE.

Boy: ATTENTION EVERYONE.

LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE NEWEST MEMBERS OF WEASELTHORPE-- BILLY AND MANDY.

WITH THEIR HELP AND MY GENIUS, WE WILL WIN THE HOUSE CHAMPIONSHIP.

HOUSE CHAMPIONSHIP?

YEAH, GUNDERSTANK ALWAYS WINS, THOUGH,

BECAUSE DEAN TOADBLATT HATES US.

BY THE WAY, HONEY, I'M NIGEL PLANTER.

WHATEVER. LOOK, IF YOU BATTER-DIPPED GEEKOIDS

WANT TO BEAT GUNDERSTANK HOUSE,

THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO DO IT.

SABOTAGE.

OK, GUNDERSTANK HOUSE. DEAN TOADBLATT WILL BE SITTING IN ON CLASS TODAY.

WHO REMEMBERS THE FINAL INGREDIENT FOR A BASIC INVISIBILITY POTION?

EYE OF NEWT.

ESPANOL?

OH, UM...

NEWTO.

50 POINTS FOR GUNDERSTANK!

GUILLERMO.

NOW LET'S ADD NEWTO.

OOH.

GUNDERSTANK HOUSE!

MAN, THIS SABOTAGE IS THE BEST IDEA I'VE EVER HAD.

IT WAS MY IDEA.

MAN, I'M AWESOME.

OH, MY BEAUTY.

MY SWEET, SWEET CUMULON-6.

[KISS]

SEE YOU TOMORROW, SWEETIE.

[WHISTLING]

[BILLY LAUGHING]

Mandy: HERE IT IS. DEAN TOADBLATT'S CASTLE.

ONE GUNDERSTANK BRAND DRAGON IN A CAN.

RIGHT.

FIRE IN THE HOLE, BILLY.

OHH! WELL, THAT'S THE LAST TIME I HAVE PATE WITH RASPBERRY YOGHURT.

[FART]

MY CUMULON-6.

Toadblatt: GUNDERSTANK HOUSE!

OOH HOO, I'M BRILLIANT.

YEAH.

I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT CAN GOT IN YOUR CASTLE.

GUNDERSTANK'S BEEN FRAMED.

YOU'RE ON THIN ICE, MR. REAPER.

THIS FIELD TRIP BETTER GO OFF WITHOUT A HITCH OR ELSE!

OK, TODAY WE ENTER THE ENCHANTED MEADOW TO MILK JABBERWOCKS.

HEY, JERK WAD.

YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY.

THE ENCHANTED MEADOW IS IN THAT SPOOKY CAVE,

AND THE DEADLY MANTICORE IS IN THAT HAPPY MEADOW.

CAN'T YOU READ?

OH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

OF COURSE, I'M RIGHT.

I'M THE DEAN.

[CHOMP]

Manticore: YUM! FROG'S LEGS.

[FIGHTING]

Toadblatt: GUNDERSTANK. OW!

Nigel: GREAT NEWS, EVERYONE.

I HAVE SINGLE-HANDEDLY SABOTAGED GUNDERSTANK.

WEASELTHORPE WINS THE HOUSE CUP.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

HEY THERE, ANGEL FACE.

MY PLAN WORKED LIKE A CHARM, HUH?

I THINK I DESERVE A LITTLE TOKEN OF APPRECIATION.

UM, IT WAS MY IDEA, NIGEL.

WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO KISS A GREAT MAN LIKE ME?

WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO LOSE YOUR FRONT TEETH?

ACTUALLY, BEFORE THE KISS,

TELL ME AGAIN HOW YOU SABOTAGED GUNDERSTANK?

OH, WELL, I MESSED UP THEIR INVISIBILITY POTION,

AND THEN PUT A DRAGON IN STUPID OLD DEAN TOADBLATT'S HOUSE,

AND I MADE OUT WITH HIS--

[MUSIC STOPS]

NIGEL PLANTER.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.

DEAN TOADBLATT.

I--I WAS JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE--

YOU'RE THROUGH, PLANTER. FINISHED.

LIKE, YOU MEAN, EXPELLED?

[CROWD BOOING]

RELEASE THE GIANT ONE-EYED DWARF.

OH, COME ON.

IT WAS ALL MANDY'S IDEA, I SWEAR.

DON'T BE SO MODEST, NIGEL.

TAKE CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE.

[NIGEL SCREAMING]

OH, MY LEG!

THIS IS THE BEST SUMMER EVER.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLEON

TV Announcer: AND NOW LOVE PROBLEMS.

I LOVE YOU, BUT I HAVE A PROBLEM.

[GASP] BUT...

Man: HEY, I WAS WATCHING THAT.

NOT ANYMORE.

NOW HURRY UP OR YOU'LL BE LATE FOR SCHOOL.

I AM THE GRIM REAPER.

I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL.

THIS EPISODE YOU DO.

OH, BUT I DON'T WANT TO.

OHH!

WE ALL GOT TO GO SOMETIME.

SCHOOL'S FUN. COME ON!

I'LL RACE YOU.

HA HA HA.

HA HA HA--

OH, BILLY.

HI, NURSE PEMBROKE.

I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS.

WAIT, GRIM.

EVIL LURKS IN THOSE HALLWAYS.

EVIL?

BUT EVERYONE SEEMS SO HAPPY AND CAREFREE.

MY POINT EXACTLY.

REMEMBER, GRIM, EVIL.

EVIL.

EVIL.

Girls: HEY, MINDY.

IT'S MANDY.

AND SHE'S GOT A NEW FRIEND.

HA HA HA.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN.

HA HA HA.

LOOK, THERE'S BILLY.

MANDY? IS THAT YOU?

OH, BILLY.

WHAT DO YOU WANT, MINDY?

WHO'S YOUR FRIEND?

I AM THE--

DON'T TALK TO HER, GRIM.

[CRASH]

HE'S AN EXCHANGE STUDENT FROM THE UNDERWORLD.

WHERE'S THAT?

WHY DON'T YOU GO THERE AND FIND OUT.

OH, HA HA HA.

HA HA HA.

WHAT'S HIS NAME?

BEHOLD THE AWESOME POWER OF...

ZIP IT, GRIM.

GRIM? NICE TO MEET YOU, GRIM.

AND THE PLEASURE'S ALL MINE.

ANY FRIEND OF MANDY'S IS A FRIEND OF MINE.

WE'RE FRIENDS ALREADY?

THAT WAS EASY.

Billy: OH, NO! MINDY GOT GRIM.

HE WAS OUR ONLY HOPE.

NO, THERE IS ANOTHER.

OH, ABRAHAM.

WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR, BILLY?

WOW, ABRAHAM LINCOLN.

THEN I RAISED MY SCYTHE AND TOLD HIM HE WAS, LIKE, TOTALLY DEAD.

OHH.

YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, GRIM.

I AM?

AM I YOUR BEST FRIEND?

YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND EVER.

I MISS GRIM.

WE DON'T NEED GRIM. WE GOT ABE.

FOURSCORE AND 10 YEARS AGO--

OR WAS IT 20?--

UH, OUR GREAT GRANDFATHERS...

WHY CAN'T I GET THIS? WHY?

BILLY, HE'S SCARING ME.

DON'T LOOK AT HIM.

IT'S TIME GRIM AND I HAD A LITTLE TALK.

SEE YOU IN CLASS, GRIMSY.

KEEP IT REAL ON THE FLIP SIDE.

Mandy: YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE CROSSED ME, GRIM.

OH! MANDY? IS THAT YOU?

BUT I'LL FORGIVE YOU SINCE YOU'RE MY FRIEND.

DOWN, SPENCER.

YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE I'M POPULAR.

I WON'T MINCE WORDS WITH YOU, GRIM.

JOIN BACK WITH ME OR PAY.

TALK TO THE HAND.

FINE. BUT YOU DON'T KNOW MINDY LIKE I KNOW MINDY.

WHEN SHE MOVED INTO THE NEIGHBORHOOD I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.

SHE WAS ALONE, FRIGHTENED, SO I THOUGHT I'LL ASK HER HOW SHE WAS.

SO SHE TOLD ME...

[BABBLING]

AND TOLD ME...

AND TOLD ME...

AND TOLD ME.

I WAS BEING CONSUMED WORD BY WORD,

SENTENCE BY SENTENCE WITH NO END IN SIGHT.

IN THAT MOMENT, I JUST KNEW ONE THING.

IF I WAS TO SURVIVE, IT HAD TO STOP.

[GLASS SHATTERING]

SO I TOLD HER...

SHUT UP.

SHE DIDN'T TAKE IT WELL.

THAT WAS WHEN SHE DECIDED IF SHE COULDN'T HAVE ME, NO ONE WOULD.

SO WHAT'S YOUR ANSWER?

SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND EVER,

AND WE'RE GOING TO GET JIGGY AT THE MALL.

IDIOT.

RELEASE HIM.

[FLUSHING]

Billy: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO AT THE MALL WITHOUT GRIM?

HE'LL BE THERE.

Billy: DONE FOR TODAY NURSE PEMBROKE.

[SIGH]

I KNOW WHAT WE COULD DO.

WE'LL BUILD THE BEST DANG LOG CABIN THIS GREAT NATION HAS EVER SEEN.

[WHIMPERING]

A LOG CABIN, HUH?

OK. THAT'LL WORK.

[ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYING]

OK, BOYS. LET'S GET CHOPPING.

DO WE HAVE TO?

YES.

WHEW! THAT SHOULD DO IT.

Billy: SO WHERE'S GRIM?

Grim: I'D LIKE TO TRADE IN THIS OLD BLADE FOR A NEW ONE.

SOMETHING IN YELLOW. SIZE 15 IF YOU HAVE IT.

PERFECT.

MANDY!

WHOO!

WHOO!

YOUR FRIEND?

JUST CHECKING.

YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.

HA HA HA.

BUT--BUT--BUT--

I THOUGHT THAT WE--

I--I--YOU...

WELL, THAT'S THAT.

BUT WHAT ABOUT GRIM?

[CRASH]

Grim, voice over: I LEARNED A LOT THAT DAY AT SCHOOL.

BUT MOSTLY I WAS GLAD THAT MANDY FORGAVE ME

AND THAT WE WERE OLD FRIENDS AGAIN.

IT'S GOOD TO BE HOME.

FRAGADACTYLOPS.

HMM, I'LL SEE YOUR FRAGADACTYLOPS,

AND I'LL RAISE YOU ONE BULBOUS BLOBAGUTS.

IT'S LIKE THAT, EH?

SLOBAPUS.

TURKEY LIPS.

A BUG-EYED BOOGER EATER.

A LIVER-BREATH DROOLER.

A BIG DUMB WIENER HEAD.

NOW BLASTO STINKO!

YAH!

WHAT IN BLAZES IS GOING ON?

Together: WE'RE PLAYING HOKEY MONSTER.

IT'S TOTALLY STUPID.

REALLY?

[BOYS YELL]

[CRASH]

WELL, I DON'T GET IT.

MAYBE IF THEY MONSTERS.

[GROWLING]

HEE HEE! HEE HEE!

A REAL-LIVE HOKEY MONSTER.

I ALMOST PEED MY PANTS.

AAH!

WE WANT REAL HOKEY MONSTERS!

WE WANT REAL HOKEY MONSTERS!

THE OTHER KIND ARE BORING.

ALL RIGHT, ALREADY.

WHAT WOULD YOU 2 WEIRDOS DO WITH REAL HOKEY MONSTERS?

WE'D BE LIKE ROCK STARS

OR NEWS ANCHORMEN!

Together: CHICKS WOULD DIG US!

OOH. OOH.

VOILA.

REAL-LIVE HOKEY MONSTER CARDS.

HEH HEH HEH HEH!

AH! AH!

BE CAREFUL HOW YOU USE THESE.

NO ONE ELSE IS TO KNOW.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

ABSOLUTELY. ABSOLUTELY.

AND THIS ONE'S A SNUFFLE-UPS.

HE HAS THE POWER TO SPRAY MILK OUT HIS NOSE.

Billy: WE HEAR YOU PLAY HOKEY MONSTER.

WE'RE THE CHAMPS IN THIS ALLEY.

WE CHALLENGE YOU TO A THROW DOWN.

YOU'RE ON, MEAT.

I START WITH DIMPLES.

MINE'S CREAMPUFF.

DIMPLES AND CREAMPUFF?

[DISTANT CAR HORN HONKS]

HA HA! HA HA!

THEY'RE OUT OF THEIR GOURDS.

THOSE ARE WIMPY CARDS.

HA HA! HA HA!

UH, UH, UH, UH...

Together: REAL-LIVE HOKEY MONSTERS?

Irwin: OH.

AND 2 POWER CHIPS.

[BURPS]

[ALL TALKING EXCITEDLY]

[CHILDREN GASP]

HEY, HEY!

[BURPS]

DUDES, HE'S MAKING PUKEWADS

OUT OF MY CARDS.

WE'D BETTER BEAT IT, IRWIN.

WHY, I OUGHT TO--

HUH?

HA HA! HA HA!

OH, SURE. PICK ON THE FAT KID.

MAN, THESE CARDS SURE ARE A LOT OF TROUBLE.

Irwin: HI, GRIM.

Billy: DON'T LOOK OUTSIDE.

[KIDS TALKING ANGRILY]

Grim: WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

WE WANT REAL HOKEY MONSTERS

LIKE BILLY AND IRWIN.

THOSE RATS.

YEAH. WE WANT THEM, TOO.

IT'S ONLY FAIR.

ALL RIGHT. BRING ME YOUR CARDS

AND I'LL MAKE YOUR MONSTERS.

AFTER ALL, WHAT HARM COULD THERE BE?

YAY! YAY!

I GOT MY REAL HOKEY MONSTER CARDS.

ME, TOO.

THIS ONE SHOOTS LASER BEAMS.

[KIDS SCREAMING]

HEH HEH!

THIS ONE FIRES GAMMA RAYS.

AAH!

GRR! GRR!

[LAUGHING SINISTERLY]

[PPPFFFBBBTTT]

HUH?

[PPPFFFBBBTTT]

[YELLING]

[CHUCKLES]

[GROWLS]

[PPPFFFBBBTTT]

ARR!

AAH! AAH!

CITIZENS OF ENDSVILLE,

OUR CITY HAS BEEN OVERRUN

BY LIVING, BREATHING HOKEY MONSTERS.

OH, THEY SEEM INNOCENT ENOUGH WHEN THEY'RE LITTLE,

BUT THEY HAVE THESE WEIRD POWERS.

WELL, ANYWAY, THEY'RE REALLY WRECKING THE JOINT.

WHAT?

SAY, THEY REALLY ARE CUTE

WHEN THEY'RE LITTLE.

HA HA!

AND THAT'S THE NEWS.

THAT'S MY FAVORITE NEWS GUY.

[BOOM]

[KIDS SCREAMING]

[MONSTERS LAUGHING]

I'VE HAD ALL I CAN STANDS,

AND I CAN'T STANDS NO MORE.

GRIM, I WANT YOU TO WORK YOUR MAGIC ON ONE MORE CARD.

YOU MADE YOUR OWN?

"MANDY'S MONSTER--

MAKES TOAST OUT OF ALL THE OTHER MONSTERS."

KNOCK YOURSELF OUT.

TV: WE HAVE BREAKING NEWS.

THERE'S A NEW RATHER BADLY DRAWN MONSTER IN ENDSVILLE--

MANDY'S MONSTER.

WHILE THE OTHER MONSTERS WERE BUSY DESTROYING THE CITY,

MANDY'S MONSTER APPEARED IN THE SKY,

AND, WITH ITS OWN SPECIAL POWERS,

TURNED THOSE HORRIBLE MONSTERS INTO TOAST,

WHEREBY HUNDREDS OF PIGEONS QUICKLY DEVOURED THEM.

BIG WHOOP.

[CHEWING]

NO TOAST IN BED!

SORRY.

[GULPS]

GOT MILK?