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♪ Born on the wrong end
Of the leash ♪
2
00:00:01,542 --> 00:00:04,082
-♪ He was a dreamer ♪
-♪ And a little schemer ♪
3
00:00:04,166 --> 00:00:05,786
♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪
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00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,415
♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪
5
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,330
♪ He'd start to drool ♪
6
00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:10,127
-♪ One day he says ♪
-♪ I'll take a chance ♪
7
00:00:10,208 --> 00:00:11,828
♪ Trades his leash
For a pair of pants ♪
8
00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,207
♪ In a glance, school becomes
His favorite pastime ♪
9
00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,581
♪ I have buried a bone
For the last time ♪
10
00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:18,287
-♪ He says ♪
-♪ I want to be a boy ♪
11
00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:19,625
♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪
12
00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:21,129
♪ He's so over just being rover ♪
13
00:00:21,208 --> 00:00:22,578
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
14
00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:23,577
♪ It's so weird ♪
15
00:00:23,667 --> 00:00:25,037
♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪
16
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♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪
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00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,420
♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪
18
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,960
Why can't I be a normal kid
like any other?
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00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:33,131
Now, doodle bug, listen to mother.
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♪ I want to be a boy ♪
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I hate dogs.
22
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,460
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
23
00:00:39,542 --> 00:00:41,462
♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪
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I do not wish to be a dog.
25
00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:45,503
♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪
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00:00:45,583 --> 00:00:47,503
♪ I got to be a boy ♪
27
00:00:47,583 --> 00:00:49,083
♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪
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♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪
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Yes!
30
00:00:57,792 --> 00:01:01,422
[Sousa's "Liberty Bell March" plays]
31
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[sneezes]
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[man on PA] Hey, there,
Cheapco customers--
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50-pound bags of frozen fish
livers are now on sale
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00:01:18,583 --> 00:01:20,213
in aisle 50.
35
00:01:21,917 --> 00:01:22,747
[grunting]
36
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,330
You know, while I get this,
would you be a couple sweeties
37
00:01:27,417 --> 00:01:28,537
and get me some paper towels?
38
00:01:28,625 --> 00:01:30,205
Sure. Come on, Scott.
39
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:35,325
Except...
I have no idea where it is.
40
00:01:36,375 --> 00:01:39,165
The nose knows!
Follow me.
41
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,460
[sniffs]
42
00:01:43,375 --> 00:01:45,285
[humming]
43
00:01:47,625 --> 00:01:50,495
Hey! [muttering]
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Voilà!
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00:01:56,166 --> 00:01:58,826
Never underestimate the power
of the nose.
46
00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:00,330
You're good.
47
00:02:00,417 --> 00:02:02,877
Good? I'm fantastic!
48
00:02:02,959 --> 00:02:06,249
A dog's sense of smell is 40
times more acute than a human's.
49
00:02:06,333 --> 00:02:08,543
We are the elephants
of the olfactory world.
50
00:02:08,625 --> 00:02:10,375
We never forget a smell.
51
00:02:11,208 --> 00:02:13,328
I don't know where this
"old factory" world is,
52
00:02:13,417 --> 00:02:16,167
but being the elephant of
anything can't be good.
53
00:02:21,667 --> 00:02:23,377
Oh, my gosh, oh, golly.
Look at the time.
54
00:02:23,458 --> 00:02:25,628
Leonard, sweetie, open a can of
dog food for Spot.
55
00:02:25,709 --> 00:02:27,419
I don't see any dog food.
56
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,460
It's in the pantry next to
the kippers
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00:02:29,542 --> 00:02:31,422
and behind the
jalapeño-stuffed olives.
58
00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:38,423
[grunts]
59
00:02:38,667 --> 00:02:41,497
Aah! Oh!
60
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,130
Ah!
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00:02:49,583 --> 00:02:52,383
Wh-oh-oh-oa!
62
00:03:06,333 --> 00:03:10,383
Mmm... new flavor!
63
00:03:10,458 --> 00:03:12,628
Is there anything more
stomach turning
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00:03:12,709 --> 00:03:14,289
than watching a dog eat?
65
00:03:14,375 --> 00:03:17,375
Oh, I don't know.
66
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:20,578
Perhaps watching a bird peck
at his wing pits.
67
00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:23,707
Well, excuse me, but I'd rather
be a pit-pecker
68
00:03:23,792 --> 00:03:25,542
than a leg-licker.
69
00:03:25,625 --> 00:03:27,955
Well, I'd rather lick my leg clean
70
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,131
than wash it in the same
filthy water I'm gonna drink.
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00:03:30,208 --> 00:03:32,538
Hey, when did this
get personal?
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00:03:32,625 --> 00:03:34,285
I thought we were talking
about the mutt.
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00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:39,827
Oh, yeah, you're right.
Dog habits are so vile.
74
00:03:39,917 --> 00:03:43,037
Great horny toads!
I'm gonna be late for school.
75
00:03:49,750 --> 00:03:50,630
[door closes]
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00:03:50,917 --> 00:03:52,247
Revolting!
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00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,583
Positively nauseating.
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00:03:59,333 --> 00:04:03,463
[Spot] Ah, lunch--
my favorite meal of the day!
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00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:06,205
[rumbling]
80
00:04:07,583 --> 00:04:09,543
Ew! What is this?
81
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:12,245
That's uh...
It's Thursday surprise.
82
00:04:12,333 --> 00:04:13,883
"Thursday surprise--
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00:04:13,959 --> 00:04:17,419
government-approved
cafeteria food feeds 200.
84
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:21,130
Warning-- avoid contact with
eyes or skin."
85
00:04:22,625 --> 00:04:24,665
[rumbling]
86
00:04:27,458 --> 00:04:28,288
[sniffs]
87
00:04:28,667 --> 00:04:33,127
Hmm... this smells familiar.
88
00:04:33,208 --> 00:04:34,498
Let's see.
89
00:04:34,583 --> 00:04:39,583
Strong, hearty aroma...
hint of sage, touch of barley.
90
00:04:40,875 --> 00:04:42,665
Yes! Got it!
91
00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:46,080
Hey, Leonard, you want to hear
something funny?
92
00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:48,916
This is the exact same thing you
fed me this morning.
93
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,080
-You don't mean...
-I do mean.
94
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:54,076
Thursday surprise is dog food!
95
00:04:54,458 --> 00:04:55,998
What? Dog food?
96
00:04:56,083 --> 00:04:58,043
Thursday surprise is dog food?
97
00:04:58,125 --> 00:05:01,125
Ew! Dog food? That's gross!
98
00:05:01,208 --> 00:05:03,128
They're feeding us dog food!
99
00:05:03,208 --> 00:05:07,828
[all] Heck, no!
Dog food's gotta go!
100
00:05:07,917 --> 00:05:10,667
Heck, no!
Dog food's gotta go!
101
00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:12,750
Wow! Look what you've started.
102
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:15,174
[laughs]
How about tha--
103
00:05:16,959 --> 00:05:19,709
what did you say about my
Thursday cuisine?
104
00:05:19,792 --> 00:05:22,212
Please, sir, I want some more?
105
00:05:22,291 --> 00:05:25,081
Did you say it tasted like
dog food?!
106
00:05:25,166 --> 00:05:27,206
-No, ma'am.
-Good.
107
00:05:28,709 --> 00:05:30,169
I said it is dog food.
108
00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:31,080
[gasps]
109
00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:34,380
Well, then, you just earned
yourself a trip
110
00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:35,288
to the principal's office!
111
00:05:35,375 --> 00:05:38,415
I-I didn't say it was bad dog food!
112
00:05:42,041 --> 00:05:44,331
Since the dawn of man,
Mr. Leadready,
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00:05:44,417 --> 00:05:47,167
children have complained about
cafeteria food.
114
00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:48,460
[Sousa's "Liberty Bell March" plays]
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Ew!
116
00:05:51,792 --> 00:05:55,922
But never in the history of
East Westland Elementary School
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00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,540
has anyone ever had the
audacity to say
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00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:02,125
that our federally approved,
119
00:06:02,208 --> 00:06:06,458
nutritionally balanced
comestibles are... dog food!
120
00:06:06,542 --> 00:06:08,792
We would never, ever do such a thing.
121
00:06:08,875 --> 00:06:11,955
But, Principal Strickler--
sir, your honor, it's true.
122
00:06:12,041 --> 00:06:13,291
It is dog food.
123
00:06:13,375 --> 00:06:15,495
How do you know it's dog food,
Mr. Leadready?
124
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,383
Have you ever tasted dog food?
125
00:06:17,458 --> 00:06:19,458
I refuse to answer
on the grounds
126
00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:21,542
that you might kick me
out of school,
127
00:06:21,625 --> 00:06:24,325
and I'll miss this afternoon's
spelling test,
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00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:27,167
for which I've already memorized
the bonus words.
129
00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:31,170
Then I order you to appear
before the special school board
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00:06:31,250 --> 00:06:34,290
and community assembly
I am assembling as we speak.
131
00:06:34,375 --> 00:06:37,995
Me? Assemble?
In front of an assembly?
132
00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:42,923
Yes, either prove our school
cafeteria served dog food,
133
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:47,210
or there will be no spelling
bee for you ever!
134
00:06:47,333 --> 00:06:48,463
[whimpers, gulps]
135
00:06:50,458 --> 00:06:52,538
[dogs barking]
136
00:06:54,959 --> 00:06:56,329
What to do... what to do!
137
00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:59,207
The special assembly's going
to start in half an hour.
138
00:06:59,291 --> 00:07:01,501
There's got to be a way to
prove I'm right
139
00:07:01,583 --> 00:07:03,713
without exposing my secret identity.
140
00:07:03,792 --> 00:07:05,332
Think, man, think!
141
00:07:05,417 --> 00:07:07,827
Wait! I got it!
142
00:07:07,917 --> 00:07:11,377
Cover for me at the assembly.
I'll be back as fast as I can.
143
00:07:11,458 --> 00:07:13,918
Cover for him at the assembly?
144
00:07:17,917 --> 00:07:20,377
Great Caesar's ghost!
145
00:07:20,458 --> 00:07:22,498
It's empty.
Where's the trash?
146
00:07:22,583 --> 00:07:24,503
The trash?
Don't look at me.
147
00:07:24,583 --> 00:07:27,043
I haven't touched trash in years,
148
00:07:27,125 --> 00:07:30,125
though it does bring back fond memories.
149
00:07:30,208 --> 00:07:31,578
Ahh... good times.
150
00:07:31,667 --> 00:07:33,377
It's Thursday, dummy.
151
00:07:33,458 --> 00:07:34,538
I know it's Thursday
152
00:07:34,625 --> 00:07:37,375
because they serve dog food
in the cafeteria,
153
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,078
but where's the trash?!
154
00:07:42,333 --> 00:07:45,583
Sweet mother of recyclables!
There goes my evidence.
155
00:07:45,667 --> 00:07:48,417
I think the strain of living
a double life
156
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:50,130
is finally getting to him.
157
00:07:57,875 --> 00:08:00,825
Oh, why couldn't I have been
born a greyhound?
158
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,670
[tires screech]
159
00:08:05,083 --> 00:08:07,293
[sniffs]
160
00:08:07,375 --> 00:08:09,665
Thank you!
161
00:08:13,709 --> 00:08:18,629
And then the rope says,
"I'm a frayed knot."
162
00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:21,131
[laughs nervously]
163
00:08:22,542 --> 00:08:24,962
Get it? "A frayed knot"?
164
00:08:25,041 --> 00:08:26,881
Is this thing on?
165
00:08:26,959 --> 00:08:30,249
That's enough,
Mr. Helperman.
166
00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:32,753
You wasted
enough of our time.
167
00:08:32,834 --> 00:08:34,084
It's obvious that
Scott Leadready II
168
00:08:34,166 --> 00:08:37,376
has no proof that our
cafeteria serves dog food,
169
00:08:37,458 --> 00:08:39,668
and he has obviously skipped town.
170
00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:43,420
So as punishment for aiding
and abetting his vicious lies,
171
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:46,040
you will suffer the same punishment
172
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:47,665
I've prepared for him.
173
00:08:47,750 --> 00:08:50,420
-[all gasp]
-My poor baby!
174
00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:55,920
Stop this inquisition!
175
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,460
I've got my proof!
176
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This can was used to feed
Leonard's dog this morning.
177
00:09:00,709 --> 00:09:03,789
Its contents are identical to
what is in this can
178
00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:05,325
of Thursday surprise.
179
00:09:05,417 --> 00:09:06,247
[all shouting]
180
00:09:07,583 --> 00:09:08,753
Silence!
181
00:09:08,834 --> 00:09:11,424
You forget that I worked
as a supermarket stock boy
182
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,420
during the last teachers' strike.
183
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:17,080
I can read bar codes.
184
00:09:17,166 --> 00:09:19,286
Aha! This isn't dog food!
185
00:09:19,375 --> 00:09:23,575
It's corned-beef hash, also
known as Thursday surprise.
186
00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:27,377
All this proves is that
Leonard Helperman
187
00:09:27,458 --> 00:09:29,708
feeds his dog
corned-beef hash.
188
00:09:29,792 --> 00:09:30,882
Huh?
189
00:09:30,959 --> 00:09:31,959
Oopsy.
190
00:09:32,041 --> 00:09:34,211
Leonard Amadeus Helperman,
191
00:09:34,291 --> 00:09:36,961
you fed Spot our good
corned-beef hash?
192
00:09:37,041 --> 00:09:38,041
I did?
193
00:09:38,125 --> 00:09:40,875
-You did?
-How? Unless...
194
00:09:42,458 --> 00:09:45,458
Wh-oh-oh-oh-oa!
195
00:09:45,542 --> 00:09:48,882
I guess I grabbed the wrong can
by mistake.
196
00:09:48,959 --> 00:09:51,129
[laughs nervously]
My bad.
197
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:52,825
No, Scott's bad.
198
00:09:52,917 --> 00:09:54,537
And now he must pay the price
199
00:09:54,625 --> 00:09:57,075
for slandering our Thursday surprise.
200
00:09:57,166 --> 00:09:58,746
Wait!
Don't punish Scott
201
00:09:58,834 --> 00:10:01,044
for standing up for what he
thought was right.
202
00:10:01,125 --> 00:10:03,875
He was brave.
He was courageous.
203
00:10:04,458 --> 00:10:05,628
Okay, he was wrong
204
00:10:05,709 --> 00:10:07,579
about Thursday surprise being dog food,
205
00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:09,037
but he was right
206
00:10:09,125 --> 00:10:11,325
about it being the same thing
I fed my dog Spot this morning.
207
00:10:11,417 --> 00:10:12,457
And, if I might interrupt,
208
00:10:12,542 --> 00:10:15,632
a handsomer, smarter pooch
you've never seen.
209
00:10:15,709 --> 00:10:17,079
I'll take it from here.
210
00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:20,376
Nay, good people, mine was a sin
of arrogance,
211
00:10:20,458 --> 00:10:24,418
of jumping to a conclusion
before I had conclusive proof.
212
00:10:24,959 --> 00:10:26,999
I guess all I'm trying to say is
213
00:10:27,083 --> 00:10:30,333
I'm sorry for besmirching
Clancy's cuisine
214
00:10:30,375 --> 00:10:33,495
and for any undue grief I have
caused the faculty
215
00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:36,423
of Fala D. Roosevelt Elementary School.
216
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:38,580
Very impressive,
Mr. Leadready,
217
00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:40,377
but you're still gonna have to pay
218
00:10:40,458 --> 00:10:42,498
for your irresponsible actions.
219
00:10:42,583 --> 00:10:43,423
I understand, sir,
220
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:46,250
and I'm ready to accept my
punishment like a man.
221
00:10:46,333 --> 00:10:47,883
I mean... dog.
I mean, boy!
222
00:10:47,959 --> 00:10:50,539
Very well, then.
Clancy?
223
00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:55,750
[gulps]
224
00:10:59,041 --> 00:11:03,041
And so, ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,
225
00:11:03,125 --> 00:11:07,075
in order to prove to you that
our fine, upstanding,
226
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,166
federally funded and
parent-donation assisted
227
00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:13,130
school cafeteria does not serve
dog food on Thursdays,
228
00:11:13,208 --> 00:11:16,748
Scott Leadready II will
now eat a giant bowl
229
00:11:16,834 --> 00:11:19,174
full of Thursday surprise.
230
00:11:20,959 --> 00:11:24,669
And you'd better make it look
like you enjoy it.
231
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,170
Yes, sir!
232
00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:32,503
Heh-heh! All this, and I still
get to go to school.
233
00:11:32,583 --> 00:11:33,633
[belches]
234
00:11:36,583 --> 00:11:39,003
["Alouette" plays]
235
00:11:45,458 --> 00:11:46,918
[boy laughs] Oui, oui!
236
00:11:52,166 --> 00:11:53,916
[man] A symbiotic relationship
237
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:57,170
is one where two organisms
benefit or enrich
238
00:11:57,250 --> 00:12:00,540
each other's existence,
like bees and flowers.
239
00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:06,380
The opposite of a symbiotic
relationship
240
00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:09,538
is a parasitic relationship,
where one organism survives
241
00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:13,875
by feeding off the body of
another, like fleas and dogs.
242
00:12:13,959 --> 00:12:18,579
How can they show this stuff to kids?
243
00:12:18,667 --> 00:12:21,417
At least fleas stay with you
all the time.
244
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:25,380
Since my invisible friend Notar
left, I've got nobody.
245
00:12:25,458 --> 00:12:29,998
Notar, why did you have to leave?!
246
00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:37,960
So do you think you and me
have a symbiotic relationship?
247
00:12:38,041 --> 00:12:41,041
It's "you and I,"
and yes, I do.
248
00:12:41,125 --> 00:12:44,285
You feed me, clothe me,
and provide me with shelter.
249
00:12:44,375 --> 00:12:46,825
And I guard your house,
shower you with affection,
250
00:12:46,917 --> 00:12:47,997
and correct your grammar.
251
00:12:48,083 --> 00:12:50,423
A mutually beneficial
relationship
252
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:53,670
between two disparate organisms
if ever there was one.
253
00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:55,580
I guess we're a pretty good match.
254
00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:57,127
Yes, we are.
255
00:12:57,208 --> 00:12:59,328
Now, do you want to stand here
yakking all day,
256
00:12:59,417 --> 00:13:01,747
or shall we partake in the
much-loved and time-honored
257
00:13:01,834 --> 00:13:04,754
symbiotic boy-dog tradition of fetch?
258
00:13:04,834 --> 00:13:09,334
Right.
Fetch the ball, Spot!
259
00:13:09,417 --> 00:13:11,877
[snoring]
260
00:13:20,875 --> 00:13:24,575
Hey, Leonard... are you itchy?
261
00:13:24,667 --> 00:13:26,747
No, I'm sleeping.
262
00:13:26,834 --> 00:13:28,174
Well, wake up.
263
00:13:28,250 --> 00:13:30,750
All of a sudden, I'm itching
like crazy.
264
00:13:30,834 --> 00:13:34,834
Is Mrs. H. Buying those cheap,
synthetic-blend sheets again?
265
00:13:34,917 --> 00:13:37,457
Nope. It says "100% Egyptian cotton."
266
00:13:37,542 --> 00:13:40,382
Oh, great.
You know what this means?
267
00:13:40,458 --> 00:13:42,828
You're gonna keep us up
all night whining?
268
00:13:42,917 --> 00:13:44,167
Maybe you have fleas.
269
00:13:44,250 --> 00:13:45,330
[gasps]
270
00:13:45,417 --> 00:13:46,707
Bite your tongue, sir!
271
00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:50,882
Good dogs don't get fleas,
and I'm as good as they come.
272
00:13:50,959 --> 00:13:54,379
Besides, if I had fleas, I'd be
able to brush back my fur
273
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:57,248
and see them crawling around like...
Aah!
274
00:13:57,333 --> 00:13:59,633
Fleas!
275
00:13:59,709 --> 00:14:01,419
You probably picked them up
in the park.
276
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:04,920
You see, this is why I avoid
public facilities.
277
00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:10,383
[shrieking]
278
00:14:18,417 --> 00:14:20,957
Ha! I've got ya!
279
00:14:21,041 --> 00:14:24,251
Lunchtime is over, and now it's
time to pay the bill.
280
00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:26,003
[French accent]
Please, monsieur doggy,
281
00:14:26,083 --> 00:14:27,793
allow me to introduce myself.
282
00:14:27,875 --> 00:14:30,495
I am Larue, and this is my
brother Etienne.
283
00:14:30,583 --> 00:14:33,293
And all we ask for is an
occasional meal
284
00:14:33,375 --> 00:14:34,785
and a place to call home.
285
00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:35,825
Talk to the paw.
286
00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:38,077
You're nothing but lowly
parasites
287
00:14:38,166 --> 00:14:41,746
that just want to suck my blood
and give nothing back in return.
288
00:14:41,834 --> 00:14:43,504
Oh, no, no, monsieur.
289
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:47,333
If you let us stay, we can
give you something in return.
290
00:14:47,417 --> 00:14:49,127
Oui!
291
00:14:49,208 --> 00:14:52,498
We will be your servants and
do anything your heart desires.
292
00:14:52,583 --> 00:14:54,083
Like a symbiotic relationship.
293
00:14:54,166 --> 00:14:55,576
That's crazy talk.
294
00:14:55,667 --> 00:14:58,537
Yes... so crazy it just might work.
295
00:14:58,625 --> 00:15:03,165
Imagine dog and flea, living in
peaceful coexistence--
296
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:06,420
a shining example for the whole
world to follow.
297
00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:12,290
And so I say, "Yes.
Yes, my tiny, bloodsucking friends.
298
00:15:12,375 --> 00:15:15,165
Let the symbiosis begin!"
299
00:15:15,250 --> 00:15:16,960
-Oh-oh! Oui, monsieur!
-Oh-oh! Oui, monsieur!
300
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,001
Who wants action on how long
this lasts?
301
00:15:19,083 --> 00:15:21,083
-I'm in.
-Me too.
302
00:15:25,417 --> 00:15:28,327
Oh, boys, my pulp is settling.
303
00:15:28,417 --> 00:15:29,287
["La marseillaise" plays]
304
00:15:32,542 --> 00:15:34,042
Whu-uh-uh!
305
00:15:34,125 --> 00:15:35,325
Flea overboard!
306
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,500
Hurry, change the channel.
307
00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:45,583
I'm missing "Genius Dogs Of
The 19Th Century."
308
00:15:50,041 --> 00:15:52,381
Can we pick up the pace a little?
309
00:15:52,458 --> 00:15:54,458
This plaque isn't going to
clean itself!
310
00:15:54,542 --> 00:15:56,882
Excuse us, master.
311
00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:59,170
We'd like to bring this to you.
312
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,670
We tried our hardest--
honest, we did.
313
00:16:01,750 --> 00:16:03,420
But it is too big.
314
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:06,830
We are, after all, fleas,
not ants.
315
00:16:06,917 --> 00:16:08,417
Oh, what's the use?
316
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:12,210
This symbiotic thing just isn't
working out like I imagined.
317
00:16:12,291 --> 00:16:14,581
Please, monsieur, give us
another chance.
318
00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:17,917
Maybe there is something we are
better at, n'est-ce pas?
319
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:18,920
Like what?
320
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,750
Well, we can... bite.
321
00:16:20,834 --> 00:16:24,254
Oh, yes, we're very good at biting.
322
00:16:24,333 --> 00:16:25,423
Watch.
323
00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:30,133
Ow! Yow!!
324
00:16:30,208 --> 00:16:31,418
And how, pray tell,
325
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:36,250
in keeping with the definition
of a symbiotic relationship,
326
00:16:36,333 --> 00:16:37,963
does that benefit me?
327
00:16:38,041 --> 00:16:42,581
Well, doesn't knowing that
your generosity gives us life
328
00:16:42,667 --> 00:16:45,377
make you feel all warm
and tingly inside?
329
00:16:45,417 --> 00:16:47,207
And isn't that a benefit?
330
00:16:47,291 --> 00:16:51,921
Mostly it just makes me feel all
itchy and crawly outside.
331
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,580
I'm sorry, boys.
332
00:16:53,667 --> 00:16:56,827
I-I just can't fight nature any longer.
333
00:16:56,917 --> 00:16:58,167
Run for your lives!
334
00:16:58,250 --> 00:16:59,920
Save yourself!
335
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,250
What's wrong, fella?
336
00:17:02,333 --> 00:17:03,633
You got a little itch?
337
00:17:04,709 --> 00:17:07,419
Aagghhh! Fleas!
338
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:08,380
What's going on?
339
00:17:08,458 --> 00:17:11,378
Leonard, Spot is positively infested.
340
00:17:11,458 --> 00:17:13,878
Come on, boy, I'm putting you
out on the back porch
341
00:17:13,959 --> 00:17:16,539
till I can get you to the
groomer for a flea bath.
342
00:17:16,625 --> 00:17:20,825
3 hours and 17 minutes.
Pay up, boys.
343
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:30,750
Sorry, Spot, but you'll have
to stay out here
344
00:17:30,834 --> 00:17:32,584
till after your flea bath.
345
00:17:32,792 --> 00:17:37,582
So, what happened to dog and
flea living in harmony,
346
00:17:37,667 --> 00:17:39,247
blah, blah, blah?
347
00:17:39,333 --> 00:17:41,463
I'm sorry, fellas.
I can't help it.
348
00:17:41,542 --> 00:17:43,922
You're fleas. I'm a dog.
It's nature.
349
00:17:44,041 --> 00:17:47,541
I don't hate you, but I can't
have you living on me.
350
00:17:47,625 --> 00:17:50,125
Ah, it's okay, mon ami.
Don't feel bad.
351
00:17:50,208 --> 00:17:52,578
You were right.
We are parasites.
352
00:17:52,667 --> 00:17:55,627
We can't help it.
It's just how we are made, huh?
353
00:17:55,709 --> 00:17:58,459
But at least we don't kill
what we eat,
354
00:17:58,542 --> 00:18:00,252
like lions and tigers and bears.
355
00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:02,713
Oh, my!
I never thought of it that way.
356
00:18:02,792 --> 00:18:05,792
We only ask for a nibble here,
a bite there.
357
00:18:05,875 --> 00:18:07,165
Is that so wrong?
358
00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:08,330
No, no, it isn't.
359
00:18:08,417 --> 00:18:11,497
After all, you're only doing
what every other species
360
00:18:11,583 --> 00:18:13,963
on the planet is trying to do--
survive.
361
00:18:14,041 --> 00:18:16,831
Unfortunately, Leonard's mother
has a plan of her own,
362
00:18:16,917 --> 00:18:18,417
and it doesn't include you.
363
00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:20,420
Sometimes, Etienne, life is cruel, no?
364
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:21,500
Oui!
365
00:18:21,583 --> 00:18:24,383
♪ Beneath the ocean, in the sky ♪
366
00:18:24,458 --> 00:18:26,578
♪ Upon the fruited plain ♪
367
00:18:26,667 --> 00:18:28,417
♪ All earth's creatures, big and small ♪
368
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,540
♪ Join in this refrain ♪
369
00:18:30,625 --> 00:18:32,205
♪ A simple question that we ask ♪
370
00:18:32,291 --> 00:18:34,171
♪ We pose it in a song ♪
371
00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:36,330
♪ To stay alive and even thrive ♪
372
00:18:36,417 --> 00:18:38,327
♪ Oh, can't we all just get along? ♪
373
00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:40,497
♪ Can't we get along? ♪
374
00:18:40,583 --> 00:18:42,333
♪ Get along, gotta, gotta get along ♪
375
00:18:42,417 --> 00:18:43,997
♪ Work together ♪
376
00:18:44,083 --> 00:18:46,083
♪ To find a place where we belong ♪
377
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,996
Oh-oh! Oui, oui!
378
00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:52,133
♪ A bird and cat can coexist,
As happy as you please ♪
379
00:18:52,208 --> 00:18:55,538
♪ So why can't I, a noble hound,
Live with a pair of fleas? ♪
380
00:18:55,625 --> 00:18:57,705
♪ Can't we get along? ♪
381
00:18:57,792 --> 00:18:59,462
♪ Get along, gotta, gotta get along ♪
382
00:18:59,542 --> 00:19:01,252
♪ Work together ♪
383
00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:03,713
♪ To find a place where we belong ♪
384
00:19:03,792 --> 00:19:04,712
[CRYING]
Where do we belong?
385
00:19:07,166 --> 00:19:09,076
♪ Here's a thought, a small idea ♪
386
00:19:09,166 --> 00:19:10,916
♪ To help the fleas' well-being ♪
387
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,000
♪ Let's take them
Where they'll have a home ♪
388
00:19:13,083 --> 00:19:15,003
Of course!
They'll live with Ian!
389
00:19:15,083 --> 00:19:16,963
♪ Come, my friends, let's don't delay ♪
390
00:19:17,041 --> 00:19:18,751
♪ There is no time to lose-ki ♪
391
00:19:18,834 --> 00:19:20,464
♪ I hope, I swear,
You'll like it there ♪
392
00:19:20,542 --> 00:19:22,462
♪ With Ian Waszelewski ♪
393
00:19:22,542 --> 00:19:23,962
♪ Oh, yes, we swear ♪
394
00:19:24,041 --> 00:19:24,961
♪ Yes, we swear ♪
395
00:19:25,041 --> 00:19:26,671
-♪ You'll like it there ♪
-♪ We'll love it there ♪
396
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:32,040
♪ With Ian Waszelewski ♪
397
00:19:32,125 --> 00:19:34,495
[laughing]
398
00:19:38,291 --> 00:19:39,461
Oh, hello, Leonard.
399
00:19:39,542 --> 00:19:41,132
Did you come over
400
00:19:41,208 --> 00:19:43,578
to play with my collection
of molds and fungi?
401
00:19:43,709 --> 00:19:45,419
Uh, not exactly.
402
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:48,080
See, I got to thinking about
how lonely you said you were.
403
00:19:48,166 --> 00:19:49,916
And then I remembered
404
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,420
that during the movie about
parasites and stuff,
405
00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:54,460
you kind of perked up when they
talked about fleas.
406
00:19:54,542 --> 00:19:58,672
Well, duh! Fleas are only, like,
the perfect pet!
407
00:19:58,750 --> 00:20:01,460
I mean, come on, they go
everywhere with you.
408
00:20:01,542 --> 00:20:03,582
You never have to buy them food.
409
00:20:03,667 --> 00:20:05,247
And they're cute as bugs,
410
00:20:05,333 --> 00:20:08,333
although technically,
they fall under the order
411
00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:09,577
of siphonaptera.
412
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:12,497
Then I don't suppose you'd want
some of Spot's fleas.
413
00:20:12,583 --> 00:20:15,383
Would I?!
414
00:20:15,458 --> 00:20:19,078
Well, hot-diggety, zooma-zooma,
yippee-ai-ki-ay!
415
00:20:19,166 --> 00:20:20,326
Sure, why not?
416
00:20:20,417 --> 00:20:22,417
Well, I guess this is it.
417
00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:26,250
I can't believe I'm saying this
to fleas,
418
00:20:26,333 --> 00:20:28,753
but... I'm gonna miss you guys!
419
00:20:28,834 --> 00:20:31,584
And we will miss you, too,
monsieur Spot.
420
00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:34,037
We had some good times, though,
didn't we?
421
00:20:34,125 --> 00:20:35,495
No, not really.
422
00:20:35,583 --> 00:20:39,253
But still, you tried, and for
that, we are eternally grateful.
423
00:20:39,333 --> 00:20:40,543
I did the best I could.
424
00:20:40,625 --> 00:20:43,495
For in the words of the renowned
humanitarian
425
00:20:43,583 --> 00:20:46,173
and darn good organ player
Albert Schweitzer,
426
00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:49,540
"a man is ethical only when life
as such is sacred to him--
427
00:20:49,625 --> 00:20:53,245
that of plants and animals, as
well as that of his fellow man."
428
00:20:53,333 --> 00:20:56,383
Hey! Am I gonna get my fleas or what?!
429
00:20:56,458 --> 00:21:01,878
Come on, let's get this over
with before I start bawling.
430
00:21:01,959 --> 00:21:03,579
-Oui!
-Oui!
431
00:21:03,667 --> 00:21:07,667
Here, little flea-fleas.
Come to daddy.
432
00:21:15,166 --> 00:21:18,786
Ahh! Hee-hee-hee-hee!
433
00:21:22,291 --> 00:21:24,131
Ah ha ha!
434
00:21:24,291 --> 00:21:26,001
Oh, this is great!
435
00:21:26,083 --> 00:21:30,083
Now I can finally start
the world-famous
436
00:21:30,166 --> 00:21:32,576
Waszelewski Flea Circus!
437
00:21:32,667 --> 00:21:34,707
I get to be the ringmaster,
438
00:21:34,792 --> 00:21:38,502
and the fleas get as much of my
blood as they can drink!
439
00:21:38,583 --> 00:21:41,503
It is a symbiotic relationship,
you know.
440
00:21:41,583 --> 00:21:44,083
I know.
I saw the movie, too.
441
00:21:44,333 --> 00:21:47,883
Oh, my gosh. Look!
442
00:21:48,083 --> 00:21:48,923
What?
443
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,630
[Ian gasps] It's Notar!
444
00:21:51,709 --> 00:21:53,249
He's come home!
445
00:21:53,333 --> 00:21:54,713
Come on, fleas.
446
00:21:54,792 --> 00:21:56,832
I want you to meet Notar,
447
00:21:56,917 --> 00:21:59,997
the greatest invisible guy
in the world.
448
00:22:04,041 --> 00:22:06,881
That is one kooky kid.
449
00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:08,209
He sure is.
450
00:22:08,291 --> 00:22:11,381
Hey, do you think the fleas
will get along with Notar?
32917
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