Original subtitles

Are you ready to get "so random!"?

Remember all those great songs from summer camp?

Sure!

Well, what about the ones you haven't heard?

Haven't heard 'em.

Yes, it's counselor jenny

And Dan Dan the guitar man singing the songs

That got them fired from over 100 camps...

Truly awful songs like "counselor spread a rumor."

♪ gather around the campfire spark ♪

♪ and hear how Ben's afraid of the dark ♪

♪ he cries at night when the lights go out ♪

♪ he weeps like a baby, he screams and shouts ♪

♪ everyone point when you see him go by ♪

♪ that's the reason he's shy. ♪

And that's not all. You'll also get heartless classics like...

"you're homesick but your parents don't care."

♪ you cry because you're homesick at night ♪

- ♪ yes, you do ♪ - ♪ If you think your parents miss you, you're not right ♪

- ♪ you're dead wrong ♪ - ♪ Your mom and dad ♪

♪ are clapping, they don't have to hear your yapping ♪

- ♪ and yes, they said... ♪ - Not to call.

And the insensitive hits keep on coming.

♪ a kid got wedgied by the Lake last year ♪

♪ the Lake last year, the Lake last year ♪

♪ a kid got wedgied by the Lake last year ♪

♪ and now his undies are hanging from a flagpole. ♪

Yes, it's 24 songs sung by two truly terrible people.

Order now!

- Or else. - We will!

No, you won't.

♪ off to the races, I'm going places ♪

♪ might be a long shot, not gonna waste it ♪

♪ this is the big break and it's calling my name ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ so far, so great, get with it ♪

♪ at least that's how I see it ♪

♪ having a dream is just the beginning ♪

♪ so far, so great, believe it ♪

♪ can't take away this feeling ♪

♪ taking a ride with chance on my side ♪

♪ yea I can't wait ♪

♪ so far, so great ♪

♪ so far, so great ♪

♪ yaooww! ♪

♪ a kid got wedgied by the Lake last year... ♪

- What did you do? - The machine gave me an extra granola bar.

What was I supposed to do, put it back?

I don't care about that.

Good, 'cause I didn't.

Well, you used my lipstick.

No, I didn't. Trust me. The only thing touching these lips.

Is this granola bar.

Followed shortly by this granola bar.

Well, if you didn't use my cocoa moco cocoa, then who did?

Oh oh, hey!

Did I get any yogurt on my face?

The question is "did you get any in your mouth?"

Hey, check that out.

"cell phone film festival,

Grand prize $1,000!"

"think small, win big."

Who thinks smaller than us?

Nobody.

- We're totally gonna win. - Oh, baby!

Is he wearing...

It's yogurt. It's always yogurt.

It's Zora!

She's the one wearing my cocoa moco cocoa!

Oh, I think she's trying to flirt with that boy.

If she's gonna flirt badly, she should be using your lipstick.

So, Zora, who's that cute boy you were flirting with?

- I wasn't flirting. - Then why did you flick a pea at him?

- I don't know. - Do you like him?

- I don't know. - Does he like you?

- I don't know. - What do you know?

That you're annoying me.

I think I know what's going on here.

No, you don't. If I don't know,

Then you guys don't know, 'cause I'm smarter than both of you.

She may deny it, buy Zora is totally crushing on that boy.

- You know what? I should totally... - No.

- But she clearly needs my help. - No.

- Without me, she'll never... - No!

Sonny, every time you sprinkle your rainbows and cheddar dust.

All over a situation.

It ends poorly, so don't meddle.

Pfft! Me meddling?

Okay, I, of all people, don't meddle.

Yeah, you're right. You actually go way beyond meddling,

Which is why we all call it "sonnying things up."

What? Oh, please.

Okay, you know what? That is just a made-up phrase that nobody uses.

I know you were just trying to help.

By bringing me and my half-father together,

But all you did was

Sonny it up.

Cut! That's a five. Milady on the set.

Really? "sonny it up"?

Yeah, that's the word you use when meddling just won't do.

Put that down.

You know what? I get it. I get it.

I get too involved in people's business.

But as of today, I'm officially out of the business of...

Oh, my gosh. That's the boy that Zora likes.

You mean Wesley?

- Wesley is adorable. - Aww, he'd better be.

He plays me as young mackenzie. Where you at, mini Mac?

- Right here, big Mac. - Oh! I'm molding him in my image.

Please tell me that you haven't taught him...

Peace out, suckas!

Too late. Hey, Wesley, I'm Sonny.

Hey, Sonny. Big fan of "so random!"

Aren't you sweet?

Hey, listen, a few of us are going out for pizza later, if you wanna join us.

What are you doing?

Greasing up the wheels of romance.

So come with us tonight.

If you do, I'm sure you'll be making a certain young lady very happy.

- Good. - Good.

- Fine. - Fine.

Oh!

Aww, I'm so proud of him.

- What about me? - You? You're totally gonna Sonny this thing up.

"sharkacorn the movie,"

Scene 12, take 2.

And sharkacorn attacks sweet little angel.

Action!

Oh, look! It's a pretty unicorn.

It's sharkacorn,

The half-unicorn, half-shark beast!

It's attacking me.

All right, this isn't working, is it?

We're never gonna win the cell phone film festival.

With you playing a 10-year-old girl.

You want me to go younger? I can play a convincing eight.

What do you mean I can't park my scooter in the handicapped spot?

Don't you know who I am? I'm Dakota condor,

And my daddy owns this studio!

Your career is dead.

Whee! Dead!

- Whee! - Grady, put down that wig.

We have our sweet little angel.

Dead!

Please tell me you're no putting your lipsticks in a safe.

Yep, I call it the lip lock.

I'm not taking any more chances with Zora.

Well, I'll have you know that Zora won't be needing any of your cocoa.

- Or your moco or your other cocoa because... - You sonnyed it up.

If by "sonnyed it up" you mean got Zora's crush.

To join us for pizza night tonight, then yes,

I sonnyed it up good.

I can't wait to see her face when she finds out.

It looks like this!

Why did you invite Wesley to pizza night?

Because you like Wesley. I can tell.

- Who's Wesley? - None of your beeswax.

He's the boy Zora likes.

You don't know what you're talking about.

Not only does Zora have a crush,

But her crush will be joining us at pizza night tonight.

Ooh, Zora's got a date.

- Shut it! - Oh!

This is great, Zora. You must be really excited.

You shut it, too.

- Zora, it's okay to be excited. - I'm not!

Zora.

Okay, a little bit, but still shut it.

Does this mean you're gonna be joining us tonight or what?

Fine, but don't do anything to embarrass me.

We won't. Now you go get pretty.

- Okay. - Aww.

So little is gonna be pretty.

- Hey! - Shut it.

Check this out.

Oh, excellent trajectory.

But check this out. If you bend the tip just a little bit,

You get more distance. Observe.

- Perfect! - Nice!

Sweet!

Oh, the innocence of youth.

Observe.

Oh!

Water! I need water.

Now my pizza's gonna get cold.

Don't push me.

- This is fun. - Yeah.

Oh, aren't they so cute together?

I guess "sonny it up" now means the opposite.

Of "sonnyed it up."

Oh, please, get over yourself, Sonny.

You hooked up two 12-year-olds.

You didn't invent cocoa moco cocoa. Speaking of which,

Hey, Zora, may I please borrow my lipstick?

- Oh, I'll be right back. - Sure.

Thank you, Sonny. It's going great.

You guys look so cute.

So, Wesley,

My mini Mac. Aren't you glad you came?

Yep, looks like I'm making a certain young lady very happy.

You certainly are.

Well, I think she'll be even happier.

When I do this.

I think she will.

Okay, save some for Zora.

Sonny, please.

We're too old to play these silly games.

What?

We both know why you invited me here tonight.

No, you know what?

I don't think we do.

Come on, let's get out of here.

And f.Y.I., I'm old enough to sit in the front seat now.

No no no, you are here.

For your date with Zora.

Zora's great for a girl,

But you're a woman, and I'm a man, baby.

You're a baby, man.

So what you guys talking about?

Hey. Nothing.

Ooh!

A big basket of lard and carbs.

They're from Wesley.

Oh, so I guess the meddling workfd out...

It's for me.

...Exactly like I thought it would.

What am I gonna tell Zora?

Ain't love grand?

Let's find out.

Hey, ladies.

Sonny, how's your boyfriend? Mine's great.

Oh, don't worry, Tawni. You'll find someone.

Hey, Zora, look what Wesley sent.

Tawni, how could you...

Ruin the surprise for Zora?

- Oh, here's a card. - There's a card?

There's a card.

You know, Zora,

Your love should not be bought by a cheese...

Sold.

"I like my... "

"I like my women like I like my cheese:

Sharp"... he thinks I'm sharp.

Awww!

... "finely aged"...

I am two months older than him.

... "and from Wisconsin."

Wisconsin?

Who do we know from Wisconsin?

Sonny. The basket's for Sonny.

Why is the basket for Sonny?

Wait, listen, this is a funny story.

Listen to this. Okay, see,

He thought that when I asked him to join us for pizza.

That I was asking him to join me for pizza.

Cradle robber!

This is a funny story.

No no no, look, I didn't Rob the cradle. The cradle robbed me.

- Revenge! - No, listen, Zora, that is never the answer with boys.

I'm talking about revenge on you! You'd better watch your back, sister!

Beware.

And your tombstone will read,

"she died as she lived... sonnying it up."

oh, look, it's a pretty unicorn.

No, wait, unicorns don't have two rows of teeth.

That's sharkacorn.

- Ah. - Cut!

Dakota, look,

I gotta say

I'm not really feeling the terror.

Okay, well, keep rolling.

And I'll give you a little something-something.

- Oh, okay. - Okay.

Now why don't you take this toilet paper.

You call a script, rewrite it.

And give me something I can sink my teeth into?

Or I'll sink my teeth into you!

- Ow! - Can you feel the terror now?

I do.

Have you seen Chad?

Guess who.

Sonny, relax. Relax, it's me.

Sorry. I thought you were Zora. She's out to get me.

Oh, you sonnyed it up again, did you?

Just a smidge.

What up, milady?

"milady." check the mini Mac.

The mini Mac needs to check himself.

Here's your cheese basket back. I don't want it.

Wait a minute. I was gonna send you a cheese basket.

Hmm.

Wait a minute. I was gonna send you that cheese basket.

Wesley, are you mini-macking on my girlfriend?

I'm sorry you had to find out this way, big Mac,

But there's always someone younger and prettier.

True. True.

Got some bad news for you, though.

Sonny would never date an out-of-work actor.

I'm not an out-of-work actor.

You are now. Security!

Hey, don't! You'll hear from my Agent!

Peace out, little sucka!

See? Big Mac got your back.

I feel terrible.

If I hadn't meddled, he'd still have a job.

And Zora wouldn't be out to get me.

That sandbag has revenge written all over it.

That's what you get when you Sonny it up.

♪ you had to stick your nose where it don't belong ♪

♪ even though your friends kept saying it's wrong ♪

♪ now you're wishing you had eyes in the back of your head ♪

♪ scared of bugs in your soup and poison in your bread ♪

♪ because you Sonny it up, sonny it up ♪

♪ why'd you have to go and Sonny it up? ♪

♪ Sonny it up, sonny it up ♪

♪ why'd you have to go and Sonny it up? ♪

♪ at first it seems what you're doing is good, then you go and brag all over the hood ♪

♪ but in the blink of an eye, it goes from bad to worse, your meddling's not a blessing ♪

♪ it's really a curse, but since you're physically incapable ♪

♪ of shutting your yap, now everything around you could be part of a trap ♪

♪ you meddle, meddle, it's settled, settled ♪

♪ is that corn you're eating kettled? ♪

♪ so if anyone asks, yo, what's up? ♪

♪ just show some self-control and don't Sonny it up ♪

♪ word to your meddler. ♪

Go away.

Relax, Sonny, Zora's not here.

She said she wasn't feeling well and she went home.

Zora's not here?

Then who dropped the sandbag that almost killed me?

That was the sandbag guy. Yeah, I had to fire him.

I told him, "if you wanna be my sandbag guy,

You can't drop the sandbag."

So Zora's not out to get me?

But she never misses a chance for revenge.

I don't think she's at home sick.

I think she's at home with a broken heart and it's all my fault.

- I gotta go do something about this. - Stay here!

Don't go and meddle. 's not a good idea.

So...

I hear you're looking for a new sandbag guy.

I am so excited.

Sharkacorn is gonna be the best cell phone horror movie ever.

Let's wait till we see the footage.

Oh, yeah.

I like ice cream... In a cup,

Not a cone!

Let's check out scene number two.

- Yeah, I'm sure it'll be a lot better. - Yeah.

Now I'm cranky.

We've got nothing but Dakota screaming at us.

She's a monster.

- We have no movie. - Or do we?

How about we call the movie "dakotacorn"?

Might I suggest "sharkota"?

And that is why you're the idea guy.

- Can I sit down? Pound it. - Please.

- All right! - Spin it! Let's go!

Zora.

Zora.

Go away. I don't wanna talk to you.

I'm sure you don't, but as my final act of meddling,

I am coming in,

No matter how weird and scary it may be.

It's not what you expected, is it?

Well, unless this is all made from human skin,

Then yeah, I'm surprised.

What do you want?

Look, Zora, I'm really sorry that I ruined things with Wesley.

Why couldn't you have just left me alone?

I should have. You are totally grown-up enough to handle Wesley.

- In your own way. - Grown-up?

Are you kidding me? Look around.

I just finished hosting a tea party.

For a rabbit and a ladybug.

Wow, you know what?

I'm sorry. I forget how young are you sometimes.

Did you even wanna go on that date with Wesley?

I don't know. I mean, you were all staring at me.

Like I should go, so I went.

I would have been fine just throwing peas at him.

But I pushed you into doing something.

That you weren't ready to do.

I guess I do have a meddling problem.

Well, admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.

Yeah, see, this is why I don't think of you as a kid.

Come here.

You wanna stay and join me and lady buggington for some tea?

I would love to.

Tea sounds absolutely positively fabulous.

I don't know why I'm talking like this.

Yeah, why don't you sit right there.

Between lady buggington and Mr. Hopper?

There you go.

Sonny.

Yes.

I'll deny this if anyone asks,

But I kind of like it when you meddle.

- You do? - Yeah.

Because what happened with Wesley showed me that I'm not ready.

To leave all this.

I think I'm gonna stay a kid for a while.

And I'll deny that if anyone asks. To being a kid.

Ow! That's hot!

- To revenge! - ♪ Sonny it up, sonny it up ♪

♪ why'd you have to go and Sonny it up? ♪

In a world

Where little girls seem cute

And innocent...

I like ice cream.

...Comes four and a half feet of evil

Named "sharkota."

I'll sink my teeth into you!

Now I'm cranky.

And you won't like me when I'm cranky!

Dead, I say. Dead!

The evil monster sharkota.

Dad, I just wanna let you know that I love...

Evil has a tiny new face.

I will destroy you!

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