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1
00:00:02,790 --> 00:00:06,747
[new jersey accent]
my name may be short, but I'm livin' large.
2
00:00:06,586 --> 00:00:10,615
If the slipper fits,
you too can be a princess.
3
00:00:10,451 --> 00:00:14,084
With all the beauty rest I get,
is it any wonder I'm so hot?
4
00:00:13,936 --> 00:00:17,462
We are the real princesses
of new jersey.
5
00:00:20,133 --> 00:00:22,565
Hey, beauty, what are you
wearing tonight?
6
00:00:22,466 --> 00:00:24,629
I'm thinking of wearing
my mini gown.
7
00:00:24,541 --> 00:00:26,873
Oh, the one with
the leopard pattern?
8
00:00:26,779 --> 00:00:28,710
You know it.
Arr!
9
00:00:28,632 --> 00:00:31,433
It's gonna be like
beauty and the beast wrapped up in one.
10
00:00:31,319 --> 00:00:33,252
[both laugh]
11
00:00:33,174 --> 00:00:35,307
So beauty and I
are getting mani-pedis
12
00:00:35,220 --> 00:00:38,084
'cause I'm
throwing a ball tonight. It's gonna be very a-list.
13
00:00:37,968 --> 00:00:41,366
There's gonna be fairies,
godmothers, singing mice--
14
00:00:41,228 --> 00:00:43,127
The whole
bibbity-bobbity-bang.
15
00:00:43,050 --> 00:00:46,016
[laughs]
it's ridiculous.
16
00:00:45,896 --> 00:00:50,230
Well well well,
if it ain't the second and third fairest of them all.
17
00:00:50,053 --> 00:00:54,886
Cindy, how did you know
we were here?
18
00:00:54,689 --> 00:00:56,855
Mirror mirror
on the wall,
19
00:00:56,768 --> 00:00:59,266
Are those two wenches
at the mall?
20
00:00:59,164 --> 00:01:01,664
Yeah, they're getting
their nails did,
21
00:01:01,563 --> 00:01:04,197
But you didn't hear it
from me.
22
00:01:04,090 --> 00:01:07,091
I can't believe you didn't
invite me to your ball.
23
00:01:06,969 --> 00:01:10,369
Oh, you mean you didn't
get the invitation?
24
00:01:12,853 --> 00:01:15,986
Yeah, like I was gonna
invite her, right?
25
00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:18,291
Last ball I threw,
stroke of midnight,
26
00:01:18,193 --> 00:01:21,660
Her dress is trashed,
one shoe on, one shoe off,
27
00:01:21,519 --> 00:01:24,085
She'd driving around
in a pumpkin.
28
00:01:23,981 --> 00:01:27,215
They think they're so much
better than me.
29
00:01:27,083 --> 00:01:28,783
Your mother's a witch.
30
00:01:28,715 --> 00:01:30,280
Your mother's
a witch.
31
00:01:30,216 --> 00:01:33,150
Princesses, princesses,
all our mothers are witches.
32
00:01:33,031 --> 00:01:35,965
- True dat.
- True dat.
33
00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:39,313
Sorry I flew off the handle.
Apple?
34
00:01:39,172 --> 00:01:41,239
Thanks.
35
00:01:44,706 --> 00:01:46,239
[laughing]
36
00:01:46,177 --> 00:01:48,477
She falls for that
every time.
37
00:01:48,384 --> 00:01:51,818
I guess we know who
the dumbest of them all is. It's ridiculous.
38
00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:53,211
[both laughing]
39
00:01:53,149 --> 00:01:56,450
We are the real princesses
of new jersey.
40
00:01:59,132 --> 00:02:00,865
[phone ringing]
41
00:02:02,171 --> 00:02:04,737
"off to the races,
I'm going places ,
42
00:02:04,633 --> 00:02:07,733
"might be a long shot,
not gonna waste it ,
43
00:02:07,607 --> 00:02:12,342
"this is the big break
and it's calling my name ,
44
00:02:12,149 --> 00:02:17,385
"yeah ,
45
00:02:17,172 --> 00:02:20,139
"at least
that's how I see it ,
46
00:02:20,018 --> 00:02:23,686
"having a dream
is just the beginning ,
47
00:02:23,537 --> 00:02:26,472
"so far, so great,
believe it ,
48
00:02:26,353 --> 00:02:29,653
"can't take away
this feeling ,
49
00:02:29,519 --> 00:02:32,420
"taking a ride,
chance on my side ,
50
00:02:32,302 --> 00:02:34,269
"yeah, I can't wait ,
51
00:02:34,189 --> 00:02:38,891
"so far, so great,
so far, so great ,
52
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:45,068
"ba ba da da-da,
ba da da da-da..."
53
00:02:44,808 --> 00:02:50,497
Sync By YesCool [Addic7ed.com]
Thanks For KesemB [iSubs.coil.us.to]
54
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:53,205
Can you believe what
we have to put up with around here?
55
00:02:53,092 --> 00:02:55,525
That nail polish is
so last week.
56
00:02:55,427 --> 00:02:59,294
I know.
It's ridiculous, right?
57
00:02:59,136 --> 00:03:01,503
And she missed a piggy.
How do you miss a piggy?
58
00:03:01,407 --> 00:03:05,475
It's right there going,
"you missed me!"
59
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,877
Did you guys see
the schedule?
60
00:03:07,772 --> 00:03:09,406
We have to come in
at 10:00.
61
00:03:09,340 --> 00:03:12,908
What, do we work
on a farm?
62
00:03:12,763 --> 00:03:16,364
Even when I worked on a farm
I didn't have to wake up that early.
63
00:03:16,218 --> 00:03:17,918
I hate this studio.
64
00:03:17,849 --> 00:03:19,482
They confiscated
my yorkie again.
65
00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:21,583
Every day you bring
your dog to work
66
00:03:21,496 --> 00:03:24,030
And every day
the security guard confiscates her.
67
00:03:23,927 --> 00:03:26,227
And now mamselle calls
the guard "daddy."
68
00:03:26,134 --> 00:03:27,668
I'm daddy.
69
00:03:27,606 --> 00:03:31,006
Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
70
00:03:30,867 --> 00:03:34,204
You guys, we should be
grateful for all of this.
71
00:03:34,069 --> 00:03:35,903
I mean, we're living
the dream.
72
00:03:35,829 --> 00:03:38,564
Hey, sonny, here's that
cheese platter you requested.
73
00:03:38,453 --> 00:03:40,288
Aww. See?
74
00:03:40,213 --> 00:03:43,081
These are the little things
we should be grateful for.
75
00:03:42,965 --> 00:03:45,900
But I'm pretty sure
that I asked
76
00:03:45,781 --> 00:03:50,185
For extra-sharp wisconsin
farmhouse cheddar cheese.
77
00:03:50,005 --> 00:03:52,473
You know, just because
you're dressed like princesses
78
00:03:52,373 --> 00:03:54,274
Doesn't mean you're
actually princesses.
79
00:03:54,197 --> 00:03:57,867
And you two, you're acting
like royal pains.
80
00:03:57,718 --> 00:04:00,286
[laughs]
81
00:04:00,182 --> 00:04:01,815
See what I did there?
82
00:04:01,749 --> 00:04:04,649
Seriously, stop your
bellyaching.
83
00:04:04,531 --> 00:04:07,900
Yoknow what, marshall?
This cheese is fine.
84
00:04:10,034 --> 00:04:12,535
This cheese is not fine.
85
00:04:12,434 --> 00:04:14,401
We have to do something
about this.
86
00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:16,222
I'm writing a letter
to mr. Condor.
87
00:04:16,145 --> 00:04:18,813
Whoa whoa whoa,
hey hey hey, no.
88
00:04:18,705 --> 00:04:20,939
No need to bring
the bossman into this.
89
00:04:20,849 --> 00:04:22,915
Yeah, we just complain
to each other.
90
00:04:22,831 --> 00:04:25,432
We don't actually
do anything about it.
91
00:04:25,326 --> 00:04:26,627
Well, we should.
92
00:04:26,575 --> 00:04:28,409
You know, back when
I was in high school
93
00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:30,870
I was very upset
about the junk food in the vending machines.
94
00:04:30,767 --> 00:04:34,303
So you know what I did?
I wrote a very nice, but firm letter
95
00:04:34,159 --> 00:04:38,029
Asking them to replace
the junk food with apples. And it worked.
96
00:04:37,872 --> 00:04:42,141
Yeah, we got
macintosh and fuji and red delicious and--
97
00:04:41,967 --> 00:04:45,035
Hey, jenny appleseed,
just write the letter.
98
00:04:46,831 --> 00:04:50,500
Dear mr. Condor...
99
00:04:51,727 --> 00:04:55,596
Oh, 10:00 a.M.
They're killing me here.
100
00:04:55,439 --> 00:04:57,507
Let's just start
rehearsal, guys.
101
00:04:57,423 --> 00:05:01,426
Thanks for getting
the school bully life in prison, sally.
102
00:05:01,263 --> 00:05:03,030
No problem, martin.
103
00:05:02,959 --> 00:05:05,193
He'll never take
your tuna sandwich again.
104
00:05:05,102 --> 00:05:08,438
Because I'm sally jenson
and I fight for you!
105
00:05:08,303 --> 00:05:10,271
Sorry to interrupt
the rehearsal.
106
00:05:10,191 --> 00:05:12,826
I heard you kids wrote
mr. Condor a letter.
107
00:05:12,719 --> 00:05:14,820
Oh, actually,
that was me.
108
00:05:14,735 --> 00:05:16,703
Well, mr. Condor
wanted you to know
109
00:05:16,623 --> 00:05:18,557
That he took all your
grievances to heart
110
00:05:18,479 --> 00:05:20,480
And there's gonna be
some changes around here.
111
00:05:20,399 --> 00:05:22,867
See? Just like
the apples.
112
00:05:22,767 --> 00:05:24,835
- Did you like the apples?
- Yep.
113
00:05:24,751 --> 00:05:27,553
Then maybe not
like the apples.
114
00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,743
Mr. Condor was surprised
at how ungrateful you all are,
115
00:05:30,608 --> 00:05:32,910
So he's bringing in
a new cast member.
116
00:05:32,817 --> 00:05:34,784
We didn't ask
for a new cast member.
117
00:05:34,704 --> 00:05:37,606
We didn't even want
this cast member.
118
00:05:37,489 --> 00:05:39,690
Really? Aren't we
over that yet?
119
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,434
Well, you're
getting one--
120
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,294
Someone who appreciates
what she has.
121
00:05:43,216 --> 00:05:44,917
And can set an example
for the rest of you.
122
00:05:44,848 --> 00:05:47,849
[sniffs]
evil.
123
00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,292
- Hello, cast mates.
- [gasp]
124
00:05:51,215 --> 00:05:53,984
You all know dakota--
dako condor.
125
00:05:53,872 --> 00:05:58,744
- [clamoring]
- I don't want to hear it!
126
00:05:58,546 --> 00:06:02,449
Dako's a member
of the cast of "so random!" as of right now.
127
00:06:02,290 --> 00:06:04,924
So start working
with her.
128
00:06:04,817 --> 00:06:06,184
Evil.
129
00:06:06,129 --> 00:06:07,196
Yeah, we know.
130
00:06:07,153 --> 00:06:08,954
Not dakota-- you.
131
00:06:08,881 --> 00:06:10,515
Evil!
132
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:15,489
Thanks for getting
the school bully life in prison, sally.
133
00:06:15,344 --> 00:06:17,111
How can they do
the sketch without you?
134
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,674
No problem, martin.
135
00:06:18,608 --> 00:06:22,978
'cause I'm sally jenson
and I fight for you!
136
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,903
I'm sally jenson
and I ght you!
137
00:06:26,736 --> 00:06:29,338
No no no no!
Zora, stop fighting.
138
00:06:29,232 --> 00:06:30,466
Please, no hitting.
139
00:06:30,417 --> 00:06:32,284
[whimpers]
140
00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:35,109
I don't even wantto be here.
141
00:06:34,992 --> 00:06:37,626
My daddy made me.
142
00:06:37,519 --> 00:06:41,188
I just wanted to stay home
and make the maid color for me.
143
00:06:41,038 --> 00:06:45,142
- Oh, you poor little--
- sonn no. It's a trap.
144
00:06:44,975 --> 00:06:50,179
Zora, please.
145
00:06:49,967 --> 00:06:52,468
And I'll tell you a story
to cheer you up,
146
00:06:52,367 --> 00:06:56,670
Just like I did for grady
when I told him he'd never live on pandora.
147
00:06:56,494 --> 00:06:59,196
Thanks, sonny.
148
00:07:00,718 --> 00:07:02,953
You're helping
the enemy?
149
00:07:02,863 --> 00:07:06,498
Helping the enemy leave.
Trust me, she s out.
150
00:07:06,350 --> 00:07:09,753
I'll have her back home,
coloringith the maid in no time.
151
00:07:09,614 --> 00:07:11,815
I got this.
152
00:07:15,887 --> 00:07:17,554
A little help here.
153
00:07:21,999 --> 00:07:25,902
Seriously?
Dakota tied you up?
154
00:07:25,743 --> 00:07:29,580
You know what?
Keep laughing, guys.
155
00:07:29,424 --> 00:07:31,024
Dakota's here to stay.
156
00:07:30,959 --> 00:07:32,927
She stole
sally jenson.
157
00:07:32,847 --> 00:07:34,815
She left here dressed
as sicky vicky.
158
00:07:34,736 --> 00:07:38,003
- How long is it before
she becomes dolphin girl? - No no.
159
00:07:37,870 --> 00:07:40,638
- Or grandma gassie?
- That's mine.
160
00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:44,061
- Or your rapping pirate?
- I don't think she'll take that part.
161
00:07:43,917 --> 00:07:47,286
Arrg, to the arrg,
to the arrg, to the arrg.
162
00:07:47,149 --> 00:07:50,284
All the mateys in the house
say arrg!
163
00:07:50,156 --> 00:07:53,093
This sketch is
off the hook.
164
00:07:54,863 --> 00:07:57,999
I gotta give it up.
The pirate accent really makes it work.
165
00:07:57,871 --> 00:08:00,305
We cannot just sit here
and take this.
166
00:08:00,206 --> 00:08:02,407
But marshall doesn't
want to hear it.
167
00:08:02,318 --> 00:08:04,686
Marshall's not
gonna hear it.
168
00:08:04,590 --> 00:08:06,658
We're gonna March right down
to mr. Condor's office
169
00:08:06,575 --> 00:08:08,775
And let him know
it's either us or dakota.
170
00:08:08,685 --> 00:08:10,153
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
171
00:08:10,094 --> 00:08:12,429
Yes, she's right.
We're the stars.
172
00:08:12,335 --> 00:08:14,637
- We're "so random!"
- exactly.
173
00:08:14,543 --> 00:08:16,544
What is mr. Condor
gonna do,
174
00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:18,997
Fire us and send us
to public school?
175
00:08:18,895 --> 00:08:21,430
Public school?
176
00:08:21,327 --> 00:08:24,796
I can't believe mr. Condor
fired us and sent us to public school.
177
00:08:24,655 --> 00:08:27,422
[all clamoring]
178
00:08:27,309 --> 00:08:29,811
- [bell ringing]
- what is that?
179
00:08:35,279 --> 00:08:37,146
Public school?
180
00:08:37,071 --> 00:08:39,840
This is where
we're gonna spend the rest of our teen lives?
181
00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:42,195
Guys, relax.
182
00:08:42,095 --> 00:08:45,998
This is obviously
just the studio trying to teach us a lesson.
183
00:08:45,839 --> 00:08:48,974
I give marshall
half a day with dakota
184
00:08:48,847 --> 00:08:51,015
And he's gonna be begging
mr. Condor to bring us back.
185
00:08:50,927 --> 00:08:54,496
We could think of this
as a field trip.
186
00:08:54,351 --> 00:08:57,420
Sure, we can give that
a shot, I guess.
187
00:08:57,295 --> 00:08:59,163
- I guess so.
- Good.
188
00:08:59,088 --> 00:09:01,589
Yes yes, you're right.
It's me.
189
00:09:01,487 --> 00:09:05,823
It's tawni hart
on a field trip to your sad little world.
190
00:09:05,647 --> 00:09:09,249
Hey, I know you guys.
I've seen you on t.V.
191
00:09:09,102 --> 00:09:11,704
Well, we're not
on t.V. Anymore,
192
00:09:11,598 --> 00:09:14,233
So you can just
treat us like you would any other new kids.
193
00:09:14,126 --> 00:09:15,992
Okeydokey.
194
00:09:15,917 --> 00:09:20,787
Maybe I'll start with
little lord fauntleroy here.
195
00:09:21,613 --> 00:09:22,712
Ow.
196
00:09:22,668 --> 00:09:26,171
What are you gonna do
about it?
197
00:09:26,028 --> 00:09:28,364
Meet my lawyer--
sally jenson.
198
00:09:28,270 --> 00:09:29,503
She fights for me.
199
00:09:29,453 --> 00:09:32,422
Meet my fists.
They fight for me.
200
00:09:32,302 --> 00:09:37,740
No objection.
Your witness.
201
00:09:37,518 --> 00:09:39,218
Grady!
Be careful with him.
202
00:09:39,149 --> 00:09:41,617
Okay, don't worry, don't worry.
Every school has a bully.
203
00:09:41,517 --> 00:09:43,384
We just gotta go
talk to the principal.
204
00:09:43,309 --> 00:09:45,176
He won't last
that long.
205
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:47,635
Grady, just give her
your tuna sandwich.
206
00:09:51,371 --> 00:09:54,541
It's okay.
The principal will take care of this.
207
00:09:57,804 --> 00:10:01,641
Well, he took care
of the sandwich.
208
00:10:01,485 --> 00:10:03,852
Man, school is brutal.
209
00:10:03,756 --> 00:10:05,624
Brutal?
210
00:10:05,548 --> 00:10:07,482
Really?
211
00:10:07,404 --> 00:10:09,673
You guys just
watched that happen.
212
00:10:09,581 --> 00:10:11,382
I lived it!
213
00:10:11,309 --> 00:10:15,045
Did you know that there are
36 different types of wedgies?
214
00:10:14,893 --> 00:10:19,163
Martha calls this one
"the hoodie."
215
00:10:18,989 --> 00:10:22,058
Ooh, martha, huh?
216
00:10:21,934 --> 00:10:23,935
Sounds like somebody
likes you.
217
00:10:23,854 --> 00:10:26,789
Really?
218
00:10:26,669 --> 00:10:29,139
Are you really going to
listen to her about this?
219
00:10:29,039 --> 00:10:34,643
Jealous?
220
00:10:34,415 --> 00:10:36,482
Hey hey hey.
221
00:10:36,398 --> 00:10:38,233
Why are you giving him
false hope?
222
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:40,427
You guys,
this is high school.
223
00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:42,236
This place is
filled with hope.
224
00:10:42,159 --> 00:10:44,994
You know, I went
to a school just like this back in wisconsin.
225
00:10:44,879 --> 00:10:47,614
And let me tell you,
it wasn't that different from the studio.
226
00:10:47,503 --> 00:10:51,706
Au contraire.
Here I got a girlfriend.
227
00:10:51,535 --> 00:10:54,536
Okay, what I meant was that
when you're in high school,
228
00:10:54,414 --> 00:10:56,716
You have to just find people
that you can relate to.
229
00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:59,224
Like, okay, look--
230
00:10:59,118 --> 00:11:00,753
A mean blonde girl.
231
00:11:00,687 --> 00:11:02,153
Ooh.
232
00:11:02,094 --> 00:11:06,797
Look, a girl being shoved
into a small space.
233
00:11:07,469 --> 00:11:09,070
Ahh.
234
00:11:09,006 --> 00:11:10,907
And nico,
235
00:11:10,830 --> 00:11:13,565
You see that guy
striking out with a girl
236
00:11:13,454 --> 00:11:16,489
That's way out
of his league?
237
00:11:16,366 --> 00:11:18,900
Just like me.
238
00:11:18,797 --> 00:11:22,466
You see, you guys?
We fit in.
239
00:11:23,596 --> 00:11:26,466
I look much better than him.
I got a better face.
240
00:11:26,349 --> 00:11:28,283
You'd better enjoy it
while it lasts,
241
00:11:28,205 --> 00:11:30,139
Because marshall
is gonna be calling us,
242
00:11:30,061 --> 00:11:32,296
Begging us to come back
to the studio in no time,
243
00:11:32,205 --> 00:11:34,472
Which means
I'd better work fast,
244
00:11:34,381 --> 00:11:36,616
Because it's time
to institute
245
00:11:36,525 --> 00:11:38,693
The sonny munroe
apple initiative.
246
00:11:38,605 --> 00:11:40,439
- [bell rings]
- bell!
247
00:11:40,365 --> 00:11:42,233
- It's that noise again.
- What's going on?
248
00:11:42,157 --> 00:11:44,425
[clamoring]
249
00:11:47,053 --> 00:11:49,955
It's the school bell.
It means it's time to go to class.
250
00:11:49,837 --> 00:11:51,938
Class?
251
00:11:57,356 --> 00:12:01,392
Is there anything
more comforting than cafeteria food?
252
00:12:01,227 --> 00:12:03,762
It's warm and fuzzy
253
00:12:03,659 --> 00:12:05,493
Just like your favorite
pair of slippers.
254
00:12:05,419 --> 00:12:08,787
Speaking of sliprs,
is that a foot?
255
00:12:08,650 --> 00:12:12,085
It's paw--
definitely paw.
256
00:12:13,930 --> 00:12:16,164
Ooh, grady,
here comes martha.
257
00:12:16,073 --> 00:12:21,075
Do I have paw breath?
258
00:12:20,872 --> 00:12:22,940
The vending machine donuts
with apples, right?
259
00:12:22,856 --> 00:12:25,490
Why, yes, I am.
260
00:12:25,383 --> 00:12:28,084
Thatending machine was
the only thing in this school
261
00:12:27,974 --> 00:12:30,442
That gave me joy.
262
00:12:30,342 --> 00:12:32,575
- [clears throat] - hello.
263
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:34,386
Right here.
264
00:12:34,309 --> 00:12:38,145
Which reminds me
it's time to introduce you to wedgie number two--
265
00:12:37,989 --> 00:12:40,190
The wedge
of allegiance.
266
00:12:41,765 --> 00:12:43,431
Oh, guys,
hey, guys,
267
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:46,331
If I'm not back
by fourth period,
268
00:12:46,211 --> 00:12:48,946
Tell everybody!
269
00:12:50,627 --> 00:12:52,694
Where are we going?
270
00:12:52,611 --> 00:12:54,378
So, wow.
271
00:12:54,306 --> 00:12:56,507
Aren't those new kids,
like, complete losers?
272
00:12:56,418 --> 00:12:58,487
Mm-hmm.
[laughs]
273
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:03,340
So what are you,
team edward or team jacob?
274
00:13:03,139 --> 00:13:05,140
Can't decide, huh?
275
00:13:05,059 --> 00:13:07,961
Well, why not go for
team nico,
276
00:13:07,843 --> 00:13:11,145
Because I've got
bark and bite.
277
00:13:11,011 --> 00:13:12,311
[barks]
278
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:20,534
"I've never ever been
to public school... ,
279
00:13:20,323 --> 00:13:22,124
- Oh, no.
- What is she doing?
280
00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:25,118
She's trying to tell us
how miserable she feels.
281
00:13:24,993 --> 00:13:28,529
"I never thought that
it would be this cruel... ,
282
00:13:28,385 --> 00:13:31,887
- By singing?
- Looks like it.
283
00:13:31,745 --> 00:13:33,813
"it's endless,
we're friendless ,
284
00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:40,201
"it's nothing
but pain... ,
285
00:13:39,937 --> 00:13:44,474
"and no one in this dump
knows our name... ,
286
00:13:44,289 --> 00:13:48,092
All right, martha,
give me a ost.
287
00:13:47,937 --> 00:13:51,474
- "I know you think that
this is probably my fault , - "we do ,
288
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,766
- "the catty comments
and the constant assault , - "it's cool ,
289
00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:57,561
"I was he once
and I'm still alive ,
290
00:13:57,442 --> 00:13:59,810
"so listen if you want
to survive ,
291
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:03,751
"inside this
high school, miserable ,
292
00:14:03,586 --> 00:14:06,455
"I never thought
I'd be invisible ,
293
00:14:06,339 --> 00:14:09,742
"in this high school,
miserable ,
294
00:14:09,603 --> 00:14:12,205
"we've got to keep
being indivisible ,
295
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:19,239
"in this high school,
miserable ,
296
00:14:18,948 --> 00:14:22,084
"in this high school,
miserable ,
297
00:14:21,956 --> 00:14:25,926
"someone get me
back on t.V. ,
298
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:30,103
"I thought the girls here
would go crazy for me ,
299
00:14:29,926 --> 00:14:33,395
"if love's a test
I'm clearly getting a "d" ,
300
00:14:33,254 --> 00:14:35,488
"I never knew how high
my undies could ,
301
00:14:35,397 --> 00:14:38,266
"there's tons of wedgies
I didn't know ,
302
00:14:38,150 --> 00:14:40,384
"like the hoodie,
the hourglass ,
303
00:14:40,293 --> 00:14:42,060
- "the 360 spin... ,
- that hurt.
304
00:14:41,989 --> 00:14:43,556
"the peg leg,
the bat ,
305
00:14:43,493 --> 00:14:44,959
"the bowling pin ,
306
00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:46,834
,"the donkey,
tthe monkey ,
307
00:14:46,755 --> 00:14:48,322
"man, am I sore ,
308
00:14:48,259 --> 00:14:51,192
"I can't believe
there's 28 more-- neat ,
309
00:14:51,073 --> 00:14:53,274
"someone get me
back on t. ,
310
00:14:53,185 --> 00:14:57,454
"away from high school,
miserable ,
311
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:59,648
"high school, miserable ,
312
00:14:59,552 --> 00:15:03,254
"here's hoping
high school, miserable ,
313
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:05,204
"somne ,
314
00:15:05,119 --> 00:15:08,088
"here's hoping someone ,
315
00:15:07,968 --> 00:15:11,838
"someone get us back
on t.V. ,
316
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:14,948
Students:
Boo!
317
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,856
Seriously, guys?
We just made all that up.
318
00:15:19,745 --> 00:15:21,379
With no rehearsal.
319
00:15:21,313 --> 00:15:23,446
Or authorization.
320
00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:26,729
All you-- detention.
321
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:29,059
There is no singing
in high school.
322
00:15:28,959 --> 00:15:31,093
- But--
- let me put this
323
00:15:31,006 --> 00:15:34,378
In a way you just might
understand.
324
00:15:34,241 --> 00:15:37,009
"no singing
in high school ,
325
00:15:36,897 --> 00:15:38,565
"no no no no. ,
326
00:15:38,497 --> 00:15:41,331
[cheering]
327
00:15:41,216 --> 00:15:42,350
Really?
328
00:15:42,305 --> 00:15:45,841
And don't forget,
329
00:15:47,201 --> 00:15:50,269
I thought marshall was
supposed to call by now.
330
00:15:50,144 --> 00:15:51,811
What's the hurry?
331
00:15:51,744 --> 00:15:53,044
There's an assembly
at 2:30.
332
00:15:52,991 --> 00:15:55,893
- Call him.
- Dialing.
333
00:15:55,776 --> 00:15:59,144
- [phone ringing]
- [sobbing]
334
00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:02,970
Hello.
335
00:16:02,911 --> 00:16:04,845
Marshall,
are you crying?
336
00:16:04,767 --> 00:16:06,835
I can't stop.
337
00:16:06,751 --> 00:16:08,652
It's dakota.
338
00:16:11,743 --> 00:16:14,578
So talented.
339
00:16:14,463 --> 00:16:16,297
What?
340
00:16:16,223 --> 00:16:18,324
She can dance...
341
00:16:22,719 --> 00:16:24,986
She can sing...
342
00:16:24,894 --> 00:16:28,396
[singing "habanera"
from "carmen"]
343
00:16:34,334 --> 00:16:37,069
No cell phones,
344
00:16:36,958 --> 00:16:40,360
Even if I am hearing
the most beautiful voice I've ever heard.
345
00:16:40,222 --> 00:16:44,258
Oh my.
346
00:16:44,094 --> 00:16:45,862
Are you so touched
347
00:16:45,790 --> 00:16:48,825
That you're
possibly considering not giving us detention?
348
00:16:48,702 --> 00:16:52,270
No no, it's making me
realize
349
00:16:52,125 --> 00:16:56,997
How awful your
little song and dance in the cafeteria was.
350
00:16:56,798 --> 00:16:58,499
Double detention.
351
00:17:01,247 --> 00:17:03,414
Double detention
on our first day?
352
00:17:03,327 --> 00:17:05,228
Do you guys know
how rare that is?
353
00:17:05,151 --> 00:17:07,185
I mean, you, my friends,
are getting
354
00:17:07,102 --> 00:17:09,704
The full
high school experience.
355
00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:12,034
[all clamoring]
356
00:17:13,568 --> 00:17:15,969
Wait, why are you
putting me in a locker?
357
00:17:17,856 --> 00:17:20,024
Don't forget
the assembly at 2:30.
358
00:17:19,936 --> 00:17:22,371
Let's go.
359
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,988
Hey, guys.
360
00:17:36,671 --> 00:17:38,906
Oh, there you guys are.
361
00:17:38,815 --> 00:17:43,151
You know, back in wisconsin
the lockers felt a lot more roomy.
362
00:17:42,975 --> 00:17:46,511
All right,
settle settle.
363
00:17:46,367 --> 00:17:51,271
Today we have a very
exciting speaker.
364
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:53,906
Ooh, maybe it'll be
someone inspiring,
365
00:17:53,791 --> 00:17:55,258
Someone we can all
look up to,
366
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:58,000
Someone who will turn
this whole day around.
367
00:17:57,886 --> 00:18:00,587
Give it up
for chad dylan cooper!
368
00:18:00,478 --> 00:18:02,646
[cheering]
369
00:18:06,334 --> 00:18:09,569
Hey, guys.
Come here, come here, come here.
370
00:18:11,389 --> 00:18:14,057
You the man.
371
00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:17,234
Where my mack fans at?
372
00:18:18,204 --> 00:18:21,439
Who wants a t-shirt?
373
00:18:21,307 --> 00:18:23,742
Give me that thing.
Whoo!
374
00:18:26,524 --> 00:18:29,560
You want a t-shirt?
You got a t-shirt.
375
00:18:29,436 --> 00:18:31,703
Ow.
376
00:18:34,077 --> 00:18:37,545
Yeah, you people are doing
something so important--
377
00:18:37,404 --> 00:18:41,042
Getting an education.
378
00:18:40,894 --> 00:18:42,795
Let me tell you
a little story
379
00:18:42,718 --> 00:18:45,687
About five people
I sort of knew.
380
00:18:45,567 --> 00:18:47,334
Let's call them the cast
of "so random!"
381
00:18:47,262 --> 00:18:49,796
[crowd booing]
382
00:18:49,693 --> 00:18:51,728
I know, I know.
It's okay.
383
00:18:51,646 --> 00:18:56,383
Well, they got an f-minus
on the test of life.
384
00:18:56,190 --> 00:18:58,825
These five people--
they thought they were so funny,
385
00:18:58,718 --> 00:19:01,319
They couldn't
be replaced.
386
00:19:01,214 --> 00:19:04,083
Well, as it turns out,
those five people lost their jobs.
387
00:19:03,966 --> 00:19:06,334
And who knows
where they are now?
388
00:19:06,238 --> 00:19:07,772
Oh, we're right here.
389
00:19:07,710 --> 00:19:10,078
- I love you too!
- What?
390
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:14,354
I love all of you--
all of you.
391
00:19:14,176 --> 00:19:17,311
Stay in school
and peace out, suckas.
392
00:19:17,184 --> 00:19:18,585
Chad chad chad chad!
393
00:19:18,528 --> 00:19:20,562
He's our last chance
to get out of here.
394
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:22,680
What happened to
the fun field trip?
395
00:19:22,591 --> 00:19:25,093
I had time to think
when I was in the locker.
396
00:19:24,991 --> 00:19:27,159
This place is a nightmare.
Follow me if you want to live.
397
00:19:27,072 --> 00:19:29,006
Chad! Chad! Chad!
398
00:19:28,927 --> 00:19:32,096
They're attacking.
Protect yourself.
399
00:19:31,968 --> 00:19:35,136
["habanera" from "carmen"
playing]
400
00:20:05,248 --> 00:20:06,515
Whoa.
401
00:20:06,464 --> 00:20:07,731
Did you just...
402
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,949
Think about what it was
like to be unpopular?
403
00:20:09,857 --> 00:20:11,524
- Unemployed?
- Unappreciated?
404
00:20:11,457 --> 00:20:14,593
Under love's spell?
405
00:20:14,465 --> 00:20:16,365
You know, I'm starting
to think
406
00:20:16,288 --> 00:20:19,122
That maybe writing this letter
isn't such a great idea.
407
00:20:19,007 --> 00:20:21,808
- Oh, I'll do it.
- No no no.
408
00:20:21,695 --> 00:20:24,630
Hey, kids, I couldn't
help overhearing
409
00:20:24,510 --> 00:20:26,177
You're unhappy
over a few things.
410
00:20:26,110 --> 00:20:28,644
- What?
- No, we're good.
411
00:20:28,541 --> 00:20:31,644
It's okay.
Look, just jot them down in a letter
412
00:20:31,518 --> 00:20:32,951
And I'll take it over
to mr. Condor.
413
00:20:32,893 --> 00:20:34,828
[clamoring]
414
00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:38,653
This cheese
is totally fine.
415
00:20:40,670 --> 00:20:43,071
You know, just because
we're dressed like princesses
416
00:20:42,974 --> 00:20:44,775
Doesn't mean we have
to act like them.
417
00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:47,704
Yeah, and we're sorry
we were being royal pains.
418
00:20:47,582 --> 00:20:50,883
- See what he did there?
- Yeah, you see?
419
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:54,752
[all speaking at once]
420
00:20:54,589 --> 00:20:57,357
Well, got an early
day tomorrow.
421
00:20:57,245 --> 00:21:02,949
- Gotta head out.
- See you at 9:30-ish.
422
00:21:02,716 --> 00:21:04,884
- 9:30.
- Yeah.
423
00:21:07,795 --> 00:21:10,886
Dear mr. Condor...
424
00:21:15,477 --> 00:21:16,960
- Just...
- Grady.
425
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:23,218
- Fine.
- Martha?
426
00:21:23,268 --> 00:21:27,818
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