Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:40,958
'Once upon a time,
in a town not far from yours,
2
00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:44,003
'there lived a real fast guy.
3
00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:48,007
'His life was fast.
His friends were fast.
4
00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:51,302
'Even his food was fast.
5
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:54,555
'But he was still
not satisfied.
6
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:57,224
'He wanted to share
his fast philosophy
7
00:00:57,308 --> 00:01:00,019
'with someone else:
8
00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:02,563
'a beautiful girl.
9
00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:06,484
'The trouble was
she was in the arms of
10
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,861
'another man.'
11
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,781
Whoops!
12
00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:21,892
Good luck, honey.
13
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,256
- What are we gonna do, Janet?
- It's all right, Brad.
14
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,717
Everything's gonna be
all right.
15
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,718
♪ You'll find happy hearts
16
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:40,387
♪ And smiling faces
17
00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:43,140
♪ And tolerance for
18
00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:45,976
♪ The ethnic races
19
00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:48,520
♪ In Denton
20
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:54,151
♪ You'll find
a ramblin' rose
21
00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:56,904
♪ And a picket fence
22
00:03:57,029 --> 00:03:58,906
♪ Tenderness
23
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:02,243
♪ And innocence
24
00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:04,536
♪ In Denton
25
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:09,208
♪ You'll find
conference rooms
26
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:12,169
♪ And a children's playground
27
00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:16,257
♪ Denton is a real
okay town
28
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:20,094
♪ Civic pride
and civic duty
29
00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:22,805
♪ And Denton girls are
30
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:28,727
♪ Full of beauty
31
00:04:28,811 --> 00:04:32,064
♪ You may call us
the goody-goody two shoes
32
00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:35,776
♪ We're here to cheer you
with the good news
33
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,654
♪ That D-E-N-T-O-N
34
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:41,448
♪ Gets T-E-N
That's ten out of ten
35
00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:44,493
♪ If you're looking
for a life of leisure
36
00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:47,246
♪ You're gonna get
a whole lot to please ya
37
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,790
- ♪ Again and again
- ♪ And again and again
38
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:52,084
♪ And again
39
00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:55,337
♪ Denton, Denton
40
00:04:55,421 --> 00:04:58,382
♪ You've got no pretension
41
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:04,054
♪ You're where the heart is
You're okay
42
00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:06,473
♪ Denton, Denton
43
00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:09,643
♪ I'd just like to mention
44
00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:12,521
♪ You're the home of youth
45
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:15,232
♪ You're America's truth
46
00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:20,446
♪ You're Denton
Denton, U.S.A.
47
00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:22,906
♪ This is the mecca
of America
48
00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:25,659
♪ The Bethlehem
of the West
49
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:28,704
♪ This is the birthplace
of the virtuous
50
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,206
♪ The home of happiness
51
00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:35,669
♪ Leisure-wise
we're sure you will adapt
52
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:38,255
♪ Enjoy your stay
Have a happy holiday
53
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:44,303
♪ And we'll all put Denton
Denton on the map
54
00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:46,305
♪ Denton, Denton
55
00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:49,391
♪ You've got no pretension
56
00:05:49,475 --> 00:05:54,480
♪ You're where the heart is
You're okay
57
00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:57,608
♪ Denton, Denton
58
00:05:57,733 --> 00:06:00,736
♪ I'd just like to mention
59
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:03,781
♪ You're the home of youth
60
00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:06,700
♪ You're America's truth
61
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:11,330
♪ You're Denton
Denton, U.S.A.
62
00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:14,708
♪ Denton, Denton
63
00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:17,795
♪ You've got no pretension
64
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:23,634
♪ You're where the heart is
You're okay
65
00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:26,095
♪ Denton, Denton
66
00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:29,306
♪ I'd just like to mention
67
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:33,060
♪ You're the acceptable face
68
00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:35,270
♪ Of the human race
69
00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:41,652
♪ You're Denton
Denton, U.S.A. ♪
70
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:44,530
Well, how about that?
71
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,907
Wasn't that terrific?
72
00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:49,076
And now for,
well, certainly...
73
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,829
my favourite part of the show...
74
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:55,332
- and I sincerely hope yours at home.
- Get the whole crowd.
75
00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:57,709
- Our regular in-depth discussion...
- Dressing room. Right here.
76
00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:00,212
...with Judge Oliver Wright,
77
00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:05,175
Denton's leading
social scientist.
78
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,136
- Judge Wright?
- Mm-hmm.
79
00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:10,931
Did you enjoy
our anthem?
80
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:13,183
In a way.
81
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,936
I detect a note
of reticence.
82
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:18,313
Are you perhaps
one of those amongst us...
83
00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:23,777
who feel this emotive form of presentation
is overly manipulative?
84
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:26,488
Well, Betty,
there are many ways
85
00:07:26,572 --> 00:07:29,616
that the spider
may catch the fly.
86
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,952
There are
monetary inducements.
87
00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:35,581
- Hi, Brad. Hi, Janet. Come for Marriage Maze?
- 'Extortion.'
88
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:37,124
Seduction.
89
00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:40,878
I'm exhausted working on this documentary
for Farley's new show.
90
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,254
- Hmm?
- 'Blackmail.'
91
00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:44,631
- Farley Flavours, our new sponsor.
- Oh.
92
00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,717
- Whoo.
- 'Prejudice.'
93
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,095
I tell you, Janet,
that guy's as close as we'll come
94
00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:52,473
to a successful man
in this town.
95
00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:56,435
- 'And lies.'
- 'Thank you, Judge Oliver Wright.'
96
00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:00,439
And now for
a commercial break.
97
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:07,488
Okay, kids, let's hear
the five F's for today.
98
00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:09,573
- "F" for...
- Farley!
99
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:11,742
- "F" for...
- Flavours!
100
00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:13,660
- "F" for...
- Fabulous!
101
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,412
- "F" for...
- Fast!
102
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,247
- And "F" for...
- Five!
103
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,755
'First and foremost,
104
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,840
'Farley Flavours'
fabulous fast foods
105
00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:31,136
'feed and fortify families
for a fabulous future.'
106
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:34,097
'Stand by for Marriage Maze.
Strike Denton Dossier.'
107
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:37,726
Thank you so much, Judge Wright,
for another wonderful interview.
108
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:41,813
Judge Wright? Oh, come on, Betty.
First names surely.
109
00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:45,484
Oh. Oliver. You're so tolerant.
110
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,986
Time for a coffee break
before you rush off?
111
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:52,574
I'd love to, that is if you don't mind
being seen with an older man.
112
00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:54,701
Why, Oliver.
113
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:59,373
Since Ralph and I separated,
maturity is something I look for in a man.
114
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,919
- Hi, Ollie.
- Hi, Betty.
115
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,171
- Hi, Betty.
- Hello, Neely.
116
00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:08,298
You keep up that
high standard of interview
117
00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:11,426
and I'm gonna have to include you
in Farley's documentary.
118
00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:14,721
You're so probing.
119
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:16,723
A free thinker.
120
00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:19,017
Everything's free there.
121
00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:24,439
- Hi, Betty. The usual?
- Plus one.
122
00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:27,901
There you go. Hi, Max. Hey, you gonna
be watching Marriage Maze?
123
00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:31,697
- Sure am. This could be Bert Schnick's finest hour.
- Yeah.
124
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,740
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
125
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:38,579
- This could be a major step forward for him.
- Yeah, a leap in the dark.
126
00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:41,164
I better go check on the Bert.
Otherwise...
127
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,417
- Right.
- Good luck.
128
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:45,586
Okay.
129
00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:48,005
'And here to bring your just desserts
130
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,340
'and a recipe
for a perfect marriage
131
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,676
'is that gorgeous gourmet,
132
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,012
'tossing the uproarious
salad of life,
133
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:58,515
'Marriage Maze host,
Bert Schnick.'
134
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,559
'Three seconds.'
135
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:14,573
- Hoopla, Denton!
- Hoopla, Bert!
136
00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:24,541
Thank you. Welcome.
Thank you.
137
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:28,795
Before we start I want to say one or two words
about tomorrow night's great new show...
138
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:30,839
The Faith Factory Sh...
139
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:36,094
And as a matter of fact,
we have in the studio audience tonight
140
00:10:36,178 --> 00:10:38,430
the host
and his lovely cohost.
141
00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:41,725
Give a big hand, please,
to Ralph Hapschatt
142
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,936
and the vivacious
Macy Struthers.
143
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:46,813
Hey, Ralph!
144
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:53,779
Let's get a camera in there,
for heaven's sake.
145
00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:58,241
- Over the moon about that commercial, Macy.
- Thanks, Bert.
146
00:10:58,367 --> 00:11:01,244
Got a good show lined up
for us tomorrow night, Ralph?
147
00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:03,497
You bet, Bert!
148
00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:08,460
Good! I'm gonna be there!
Ain't we all, viewers?
149
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:12,172
'Macy Struthers with my husband.
God, I must've been blind.'
150
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:16,510
Still, the weaker the man,
the dumber the blonde.
151
00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:20,013
Isn't that Brad and Janet Majors
sitting in the audience there?
152
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,307
'What an ideal couple they are.
153
00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:25,977
'You know, more than anyone else in Denton,
they represent the old values.'
154
00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:28,397
Ike would have
been proud of them.
155
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:33,360
And now, would the first couple who seem
to have made a hash of their marriage
156
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:37,656
and cooked their goose,
step this way, please!
157
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:41,034
- You!
- That's us, Brad.
158
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:44,830
Come on. What's cooking up there?
Come on down, you guys.
159
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:47,249
Let's feel you.
160
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:51,461
- I'm not going, Janet.
- You've got to. Everyone's watching.
161
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:07,144
Face the cameras.
Face the cameras.
162
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,146
Now introduce yourselves.
163
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:12,315
- My name is Brad...
- I'm Janet... Oh. Sorry.
164
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:16,445
I'm Janet Majors,
and this is my husband Brad.
165
00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:21,199
Hey, Brad, we've been hearing some
bad things about you. Haven't we, Janet?
166
00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:27,497
- Haven't we, Janet?
- Uh, yes, he needs help.
167
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:30,625
Help? Let's face it, Janet.
168
00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:33,086
Brad's an emotional cripple.
169
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:40,343
'I know, I know.'
170
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:44,598
It looks like Rest Home for
this stupid old marriage, eh?
171
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,482
Tell me, Janet.
'Do you watch Dentonvale?
172
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:57,194
Uh, yes, I've caught it
once or twice.
173
00:12:57,319 --> 00:13:00,238
That's right. DTV's
most popular hospital series
174
00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:03,074
featuring those perennial favourites,
Nation and Cosmo McKinley.
175
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,869
Neuro-specialists
par excellence.
176
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:08,079
I recommend, if you
pardon my French, Janet,
177
00:13:08,205 --> 00:13:11,374
that you send Brad
to them for treatment.
178
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:16,588
Oh, uh, well, I know he's a little boring,
but neuro-specialists?
179
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:22,344
- That sounds a little drastic.
- It's no use pussyfooting around, Janet.
180
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,721
We have to cut quick and deep.
181
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:31,520
McKinley? McKinley?
182
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:33,647
- Bert brought them over from Europe.
- Oh?
183
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:37,317
They had a very popular series together.
It's still rerun in a lot of countries.
184
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:41,947
- You must have seen them in Dentonvale?
- No, I never watch that.
185
00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:45,867
I'm afraid there's only one
solution. Isn't there, folks?
186
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,745
One, two, three.
187
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:51,414
Dentonvale!
188
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,751
Hoopla!
Don't go away!
189
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:58,630
We'll be right back to see
if Brad and Janet want to play or pass.
190
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,559
Great.
191
00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:13,979
Congratulations. I think
you've made a wise decision.
192
00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:16,773
- But... But I...
- Janet?
193
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:19,693
- I'm not going.
- What do you mean, you're not going?
194
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:22,153
You'll ruin the show.
Bert's made all the arrangements.
195
00:14:22,279 --> 00:14:24,614
But I don't
need treatment.
196
00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:28,910
'But you do need glasses, eh, stupid?'
197
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,454
Doesn't he?
198
00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:44,593
I am sick of being humiliated by you!
Bert's right. You're going.
199
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:48,555
'It looks like Brad
and Janet Majors have a big decision to make.
200
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,224
'Here's some more prizes
to amaze here on Marriage Maze.'
201
00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:54,769
- ♪ Dear blender
- You won't blend into the background...
202
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:57,981
♪ Won't you help
a first offender
203
00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:02,235
- ♪ Oh, toaster...
- 'Pop up in the popularity ratings...'
204
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,821
♪ Don't you put
the burn on me
205
00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:09,534
- 'Just look at this.'
- ♪ Refrigerator
206
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:13,204
♪ Why are we always
sooner or later
207
00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:17,792
♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen
or crying in the bedroom all night
208
00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:20,378
'Living on a knife edge?'
209
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:23,298
- ♪ Dear knife drawer
- 'Stay sharp with this keen knife.'
210
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,509
♪ Now won't you help me
to face life more
211
00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:30,555
- ♪ Oh, trash can
- You can-can with the trash can.
212
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:34,476
♪ Don't you put
the dirt on me
213
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:37,604
♪ Oh, percolator
214
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:41,483
- ♪ Why are we always sooner or later
- 'No toil, no trouble.'
215
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:48,615
♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen
or crying in the bedroom all night
216
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:51,826
♪ Everything used
to be okay
217
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,912
♪ But I've been had
218
00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:56,373
♪ And, Brad
I'm glad to say
219
00:15:56,456 --> 00:16:00,835
♪ Is on his way
220
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:04,047
♪ Micro-digital awaker
221
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:07,842
♪ Why are we always
sooner or later
222
00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:13,515
♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen
or crying in the bedroom all night
223
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:17,018
- ♪ Shower curtain
- 'Wash those blues away...'
224
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:21,189
♪ Won't you help me
to be certain
225
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:25,193
- ♪ Oh, toothpaste
- 'Arm yourself to the teeth...'
226
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:28,947
♪ Don't you put
the squeeze on me
227
00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:32,242
♪ Depilatator
228
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:35,829
♪ Why are we always
sooner or later
229
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:40,583
♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen
or crying in the bedroom all night
230
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:46,715
'Now it's back to Marriage Maze. And for
those of you who are Dentonvale watchers,
231
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,633
'here's our
surprise guest.
232
00:16:48,717 --> 00:16:52,429
- 'And here's Bert!'
- Hey, folks! It's Ricky from the Rest Home.
233
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,514
- Hey, Bert.
- Hey, Ricky.
234
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,766
I've come for Mr. Majors.
235
00:16:56,891 --> 00:17:01,604
Brad will learn how to care
in the surgical chair.
236
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:08,945
- Nothing serious, I hope?
- Oh, no. Just a routine checkup.
237
00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:13,116
Just a routine checkup,
eh, viewers?
238
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:18,663
'Come in.'
239
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:21,416
♪ Tell me, spectator
240
00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:25,128
♪ Why are we always
sooner or later
241
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:30,508
♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen
or crying in the bedroom all night ♪
242
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:38,308
'Well, Bert's done it again.
243
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,061
'Another rocky marriage
is headed for intensive care.'
244
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:43,605
The subject is committed.
245
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,318
As are we all.
246
00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:51,654
'Dentonvale.
247
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:55,408
'The arrival.
Introducing Brad and Janet Majors.'
248
00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:59,412
Ah, Mr. And Mrs. Majors.
How wonderful to see you.
249
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,873
I'm Doctor Cosmo McKinley,
250
00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:04,876
and this is my sister
and colleague,
251
00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:07,879
Dr. Nation McKinley.
252
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:11,549
We understand you've been
going through a rather trying time.
253
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,635
Well, yes, we have.
254
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,221
Now listen. There's...
there's nothing really wrong with me.
255
00:18:16,346 --> 00:18:18,515
Janet and I haven't
been getting along too well lately
256
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,810
and I've had a little...
a little trouble...
257
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:27,607
- Oh, Brad.
- Ooh.
258
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:30,527
- Does he do this often?
- No, he's never done this before.
259
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,737
Good.
Then there's still hope.
260
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,823
Lots and lots of hope.
261
00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:37,242
If anyone can help Brad, we can.
262
00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:40,203
- Well, he does need help.
- Nurse Ansalong, you've arrived.
263
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:44,707
- Oh, that was real short notice
because the other models...
- Attend to Mr. Majors, Nurse.
264
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:48,461
There are just one or two formalities
that have to be dealt with, Mrs. Majors.
265
00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:51,464
A contract to be signed.
266
00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:53,675
Oh, could I do that
later, please?
267
00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:56,010
Of course you can, Mrs. Majors.
268
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,642
Sign the contract tomorrow.
269
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:06,855
Ouch! Mrs. Majors.
Just one or two details.
270
00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:11,151
Does Brad have any living relatives...
any blood relatives?
271
00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:15,446
- No, he doesn't. Could I take care of this later?
- Of course.
272
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:19,993
Why did you tell me
not to sign now?
273
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:24,539
Well, that way you
get the first day free.
274
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:34,716
'Here's Bert, that eternal showbiz wiz,
275
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:39,012
'with a family connection
in the 30-Second Quiz.'
276
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:42,682
As Janet's parents,
this should be really easy.
277
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:45,059
About Brad's family?
278
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:47,854
Your last clue is...
279
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:50,940
mental instability.
280
00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:54,027
You have 30 seconds.
281
00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:57,322
Mental instability?
282
00:19:57,447 --> 00:20:01,367
- He was adopted, you know.
- Oh, yeah. I'd forgotten.
283
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:04,913
Well, I hadn't. I was worried about inherited
craziness when they married.
284
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:08,666
I said to Janet,
"What do we know of his parents?"
285
00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:12,378
- Which leads us to...
- 'This afternoon's surprise prize, Bert...
286
00:20:12,462 --> 00:20:17,300
'which is a delirious stay in
that evergreen series Happy Homes,
287
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:21,095
- 'with unlimited use of a new dream kitchen.'
- Infantile regression?
288
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:25,016
- You got it!
- I got it!
289
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:28,728
- She got it! She got it!
- I got it!
290
00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:30,480
I got it!
291
00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:33,149
She got it!
292
00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:37,487
Congratulations. Congratulations.
And it's Happy Homes...
293
00:20:37,612 --> 00:20:40,907
to Harry and Emily Weiss
of Denton.
294
00:20:45,203 --> 00:20:47,372
Aha.
295
00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:51,167
I got it! I got it!
296
00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:53,878
She got it! She got it!
297
00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:57,006
In one.
Infantile regression.
298
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:59,717
Our speciality!
299
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:04,681
- Your speciality.
- I can't wait to begin on him.
300
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,975
Really, Bert, I don't know what
we'd do without you.
301
00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:09,310
I must confess...
302
00:21:09,394 --> 00:21:13,982
the decision to have Brad committed
was not strictly my own.
303
00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:15,984
No, of course.
There's Janet.
304
00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:19,779
But if she was
so keen on getting him in here,
305
00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,948
why wouldn't she sign
the contract?
306
00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:25,368
No, it wasn't Janet
exactly.
307
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:30,290
- It was, in fact, your new sponsor.
- Sponsor?
308
00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:34,085
- Dentonvale has been sold.
- Sold?
309
00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:36,212
Dear old Bert's
settled everything.
310
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:38,965
Ja, you endorse
his Faith Factory...
311
00:21:39,048 --> 00:21:42,844
- and he endorses your research.
- He?
312
00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:47,056
How dare this person take
advantage of my weakness!
313
00:21:47,181 --> 00:21:51,644
I don't think he intends
to go that far.
314
00:22:00,194 --> 00:22:02,113
♪ If only you knew
315
00:22:02,196 --> 00:22:07,243
♪ How to win some prizes
316
00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:09,245
♪ If only you knew
317
00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:13,708
♪ How to play
318
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:17,879
♪ If you could sleep nights
319
00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:20,214
♪ And stop your crying
320
00:22:20,298 --> 00:22:23,343
♪ Then you might find out
I still love you
321
00:22:23,426 --> 00:22:27,096
♪ In my own way
322
00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:31,851
♪ If that's not enough
then I'm
323
00:22:31,934 --> 00:22:34,395
♪ So sorry I met you
324
00:22:34,479 --> 00:22:36,522
♪ It was almost like
325
00:22:36,606 --> 00:22:42,570
♪ Leading you on
326
00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:46,032
♪ But there's more
to it all
327
00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:50,703
♪ Than just wringing your heart out
over something
328
00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:56,626
♪ That keeps on
going wrong
329
00:22:56,709 --> 00:23:00,213
♪ So don't tell me
you love me
330
00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:07,136
♪ How am I supposed to know
what that means
331
00:23:07,261 --> 00:23:09,889
♪ No, don't sell emotion
332
00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:12,141
♪ You can't buy devotion
333
00:23:12,225 --> 00:23:17,814
♪ If you're falling apart
at the seams
334
00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:21,109
♪ I hope that
you'll smile when you
335
00:23:21,192 --> 00:23:24,654
♪ Reach your conclusion
336
00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:31,661
♪ I hope that you'll know
just what to say
337
00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:34,997
♪ But if it should mean
338
00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:37,708
♪ That the party is over
339
00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:41,671
♪ You should know
that I still love you
340
00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:44,715
♪ You should know that
I still love you
341
00:23:44,799 --> 00:23:49,929
♪ You should know
that I still love you
342
00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:52,181
♪ In my own way
343
00:23:53,391 --> 00:23:55,852
♪ In my own way
344
00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:59,522
♪ In my own way
345
00:24:00,565 --> 00:24:01,983
♪ In my own way ♪
346
00:24:03,568 --> 00:24:06,112
- Oh, my poor baby.
- Oh, Mom, it's Brad.
347
00:24:06,195 --> 00:24:10,158
I know. I know, baby.
He's gonna get all the help he needs.
348
00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:14,203
- But in the meantime, look. For you.
- What is it?
349
00:24:14,287 --> 00:24:16,456
They call it a new look
at an old favourite.
350
00:24:16,539 --> 00:24:18,875
I copied it from
The Window on the World show.
351
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:21,627
- The Far East meets the Midwest.
- Mom...
352
00:24:21,711 --> 00:24:24,130
It's just what
the doctor ordered, I know.
353
00:24:24,213 --> 00:24:27,550
- Come on in. My favourite show's just started.
- What show?
354
00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:30,470
Dentonvale.
355
00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:45,818
'Love starts in the home,
356
00:24:45,902 --> 00:24:50,031
'and where better to
find this than in today's Happy Homes.
357
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:54,160
'With guest star,
Janet Majors.'
358
00:24:54,243 --> 00:24:57,705
'If you're sick of having
the goodness boiled away out of your coffee,
359
00:24:57,788 --> 00:25:02,168
'replace that old perk of yours with
a coffeemaker of prestigious distinction.
360
00:25:02,251 --> 00:25:06,756
'And be the envy of all
with a coffeemaker that says it all.'
361
00:25:06,881 --> 00:25:09,425
'Oh, thanks.'
362
00:25:09,550 --> 00:25:14,347
'When that man of yours comes in from
the big outdoors with a burning thirst
363
00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:17,016
'that only Lake Michigan
could satisfy,
364
00:25:17,099 --> 00:25:22,980
'make sure there's a cold can
of Krautmeister Light in the icebox.
365
00:25:23,064 --> 00:25:25,191
'He'll thank you for it.
366
00:25:25,274 --> 00:25:29,028
'And he'll thank Krautmeister.'
367
00:25:29,111 --> 00:25:32,865
For crying out loud, Emily.
Leave her alone. She's not a kid.
368
00:25:32,949 --> 00:25:36,202
- Well, I wanted to see her in it.
- It's really very nice.
369
00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:39,080
The material is imported.
Taiwanese.
370
00:25:39,163 --> 00:25:41,874
Damn it, Emily.
She's not interested.
371
00:25:41,958 --> 00:25:44,126
What are you trying to do,
Harry, start an argument?
372
00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:46,128
Don't you want your daughter
to look pretty?
373
00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:48,130
Who's she got
to look pretty for?
374
00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:50,550
- She's got a husband.
- She's got a weirdo!
375
00:25:50,633 --> 00:25:54,804
I've never been able to afford the time
to have a nervous breakdown!
376
00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:58,391
- Oh, poor Brad.
- Thank God he was born an orphan.
377
00:25:58,474 --> 00:26:01,352
It would have killed
his parents.
378
00:26:01,435 --> 00:26:05,022
And thank goodness he hasn't ended up
like that Slepstrini boy.
379
00:26:05,106 --> 00:26:09,235
What are you talking about?
Danny Slepstrini's a chip off the old block.
380
00:26:09,318 --> 00:26:11,779
I played 18 holes of golf
with his father just last week,
381
00:26:11,862 --> 00:26:15,908
and Hank says that Danny's moved
to New York to... better himself.
382
00:26:15,992 --> 00:26:18,244
He moved, all right...
383
00:26:18,327 --> 00:26:22,790
when they found him at the back of
Wilson's Bakery... naked...
384
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,877
with 15 other men.
385
00:26:27,003 --> 00:26:29,338
Mexicans.
386
00:26:38,431 --> 00:26:42,602
I'm gonna catch up on a few jobs
that need doing outside!
387
00:26:45,146 --> 00:26:47,690
- You shouldn't have said that.
- But why?
388
00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:50,151
Your father doesn't
like Mexicans.
389
00:26:50,276 --> 00:26:52,361
'Your father doesn't
like Mexicans.'
390
00:26:59,702 --> 00:27:01,954
♪ A man should
call the toss
391
00:27:02,038 --> 00:27:04,457
♪ Wear the pants
and be the boss
392
00:27:04,540 --> 00:27:06,709
♪ A man should be
the drake
393
00:27:06,792 --> 00:27:09,128
♪ For his own damned sake
394
00:27:09,211 --> 00:27:11,422
♪ And men should be
the misters
395
00:27:11,505 --> 00:27:13,966
♪ And the masters
of their sisters
396
00:27:14,050 --> 00:27:15,968
♪ A man should be
the reason
397
00:27:16,052 --> 00:27:18,012
♪ For a heart to break
398
00:27:19,889 --> 00:27:23,225
♪ So be moral
Don't quarrel
399
00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:26,520
♪ Fair and square is best
400
00:27:26,604 --> 00:27:29,857
♪ Let me alert you
that virtue
401
00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:32,151
♪ Won't hurt you
or desert you
402
00:27:32,234 --> 00:27:36,739
♪ If you wear hair
on your chest
403
00:27:36,864 --> 00:27:41,577
♪ So always remember
to follow the rules
404
00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:44,121
- ♪ Box clever
- ♪ Jocks never
405
00:27:44,246 --> 00:27:46,916
♪ Hock another jock's tools
406
00:27:50,753 --> 00:27:54,423
♪ A man should wax a car
Fix a fuse and tend a bar
407
00:27:54,548 --> 00:27:58,886
♪ A man should like his brow
to be wet with sweat
408
00:27:59,011 --> 00:28:01,347
♪ And should know
the right occasions
409
00:28:01,472 --> 00:28:04,058
♪ To indulge in tax evasions
410
00:28:04,141 --> 00:28:08,187
♪ A man should know the settings
that his spark plugs get
411
00:28:10,106 --> 00:28:12,149
♪ Faggots are maggots
412
00:28:12,274 --> 00:28:19,198
♪ Thank God I'm a man ♪
413
00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:33,045
What a meal!
414
00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:37,842
Scrumptious, meine Liebling.
I insist on the recipe.
415
00:28:37,967 --> 00:28:41,762
Coming from a gourmet,
that's praise indeed. But... secrets.
416
00:28:41,887 --> 00:28:44,223
Oh.
417
00:28:44,306 --> 00:28:48,144
With Fast-Food Farley at the helm,
it'll probably be TV dinners from now on.
418
00:28:48,269 --> 00:28:53,649
Farley is already
a TV winner as we shall see.
419
00:28:55,735 --> 00:28:58,738
Dentonvale will run forever
now that his interest
420
00:28:58,863 --> 00:29:01,615
has embraced mental hygiene.
421
00:29:01,741 --> 00:29:03,743
Our field.
422
00:29:03,868 --> 00:29:07,037
I'm convinced there's
some kind of conspiracy.
423
00:29:07,163 --> 00:29:09,081
- Conspiracy?
- Mm-hmm.
424
00:29:09,165 --> 00:29:11,459
Well, that's
a little far-fetched.
425
00:29:11,542 --> 00:29:14,545
Oh, I don't know.
Remember Lieutenant Orpheus?
426
00:29:14,670 --> 00:29:17,214
He disappeared into that underworld series
and never came back.
427
00:29:17,298 --> 00:29:19,717
Sounds like my husband.
He never came back either.
428
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,179
Not after Flavours gave him a commercial break.
429
00:29:23,262 --> 00:29:26,265
Oh, yes, Farley Flavours.
You know, I find it remarkable
430
00:29:26,348 --> 00:29:31,187
that his Faith Factory is being financed
by an entire nation's indigestion.
431
00:29:32,772 --> 00:29:37,777
Who do you think gave
you the next episode?
432
00:29:37,860 --> 00:29:41,113
So that Janet will
be free to front line
433
00:29:41,197 --> 00:29:43,199
the new Faith Factory show.
434
00:29:43,324 --> 00:29:46,285
- We're the experts.
- Who trusts experts?
435
00:29:46,410 --> 00:29:48,412
Why Janet?
436
00:29:48,496 --> 00:29:52,458
Everyone loves
the girl next door.
437
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,879
Particularly Farley.
438
00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:01,634
So it seems.
439
00:30:11,602 --> 00:30:13,938
Come in.
440
00:30:14,021 --> 00:30:16,315
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
441
00:30:16,398 --> 00:30:18,692
- Hi.
- I just came to give you this.
442
00:30:18,776 --> 00:30:21,028
- Thank you.
- Hi!
443
00:30:21,111 --> 00:30:23,030
- Hi.
- Hi.
444
00:30:23,113 --> 00:30:26,575
We'd better get going.
Tomorrow's the big one, and Farley expects.
445
00:30:26,700 --> 00:30:28,452
Oh, you bet.
446
00:30:28,577 --> 00:30:32,915
- I guess we'd better leave you young things to it.
- Good-bye.
447
00:30:32,998 --> 00:30:35,334
- Bye.
- Bye.
448
00:30:41,882 --> 00:30:44,343
- Oh, Ralph.
- Yeah?
449
00:30:44,426 --> 00:30:48,681
- Shove it!
- Oh, you shove it too, Betty!
450
00:30:48,764 --> 00:30:52,476
Alimony is just
another word for rape.
451
00:30:56,188 --> 00:30:59,191
Conspiracy is right.
452
00:30:59,275 --> 00:31:02,486
- The Denton Dossier is...
- Closed.
453
00:31:06,448 --> 00:31:08,576
'Dentonvale.
454
00:31:08,659 --> 00:31:12,329
'Special guest star,
Janet Majors.'
455
00:31:12,454 --> 00:31:15,749
- Janet!
- I've come to see Brad.
456
00:31:15,875 --> 00:31:19,545
That's out of the question.
He's sleeping like a baby.
457
00:31:19,628 --> 00:31:23,799
- It's you we're concerned about, Janet.
- Yes, Janet, how are you?
458
00:31:23,924 --> 00:31:27,928
- Are you happy?
- Oh, I'm happy.
459
00:31:28,012 --> 00:31:30,806
There are countless people
in this world, Janet,
460
00:31:30,890 --> 00:31:33,559
who believe
that they're happy.
461
00:31:33,642 --> 00:31:35,561
But they only think
they're happy.
462
00:31:35,686 --> 00:31:38,856
Oh, well, that doesn't
make any sense.
463
00:31:42,026 --> 00:31:45,112
This might, Janet.
464
00:31:47,531 --> 00:31:52,077
And a big Denton welcome
to my new delegation.
465
00:31:52,161 --> 00:31:56,957
This is Farley
and I'm here with the score.
466
00:31:57,082 --> 00:32:00,711
We're going to package
and sell some mental health to the nation,
467
00:32:00,794 --> 00:32:04,298
with my dream
of the girl next door.
468
00:32:06,592 --> 00:32:10,220
♪ Oh, why aren't they doing
tomorrow's new dance steps
469
00:32:10,304 --> 00:32:13,724
♪ The way they used
to yesterday
470
00:32:13,807 --> 00:32:17,811
♪ And who draws
a perfect circle anymore
471
00:32:19,897 --> 00:32:23,108
♪ And if you're waiting for greatness
to shake hands with you
472
00:32:23,192 --> 00:32:26,987
♪ You'd better daydream
your life away
473
00:32:27,112 --> 00:32:32,368
♪ I've only wanted one thing
and that's for sure
474
00:32:33,827 --> 00:32:36,997
♪ You're not just looking
at a fast-food king
475
00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:40,250
♪ Just another
well-known face
476
00:32:40,376 --> 00:32:44,713
♪ You're not looking
at the king of anything
477
00:32:46,590 --> 00:32:49,843
♪ I'm gonna shoot for the moon
I'm gonna play high noon
478
00:32:49,927 --> 00:32:53,681
♪ I'm gonna take on
the entire human race
479
00:32:53,806 --> 00:32:57,768
♪ You're not looking
at a king
480
00:32:57,893 --> 00:33:00,729
♪ You're looking at an ace
481
00:33:04,441 --> 00:33:08,153
♪ Ooh, I got sight
and I've seen the light
482
00:33:08,237 --> 00:33:11,615
♪ And I'm gonna see
the coming day
483
00:33:11,699 --> 00:33:14,368
♪ When the sun in the sky
is a spotlight
484
00:33:14,493 --> 00:33:18,038
♪ Just for me
485
00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:21,834
♪ I'm gonna take my time
and rock some rhyme
486
00:33:21,959 --> 00:33:24,712
♪ Oh, it's gonna take
your breath away
487
00:33:24,837 --> 00:33:27,297
♪ You'll be the front page
rage of the age
488
00:33:27,381 --> 00:33:31,802
♪ Just wait and see
489
00:33:31,927 --> 00:33:34,930
♪ You're not just looking
at a fast-food king
490
00:33:35,055 --> 00:33:38,434
♪ Just another
well-known face
491
00:33:38,517 --> 00:33:44,523
♪ You're not looking
at the king of anything
492
00:33:44,606 --> 00:33:47,693
♪ We're gonna shoot for the moon
We're gonna play high noon
493
00:33:47,776 --> 00:33:51,947
♪ We're gonna take on
the entire human race
494
00:33:52,031 --> 00:33:55,701
- ♪ You're not looking at a king
- ♪ No, no, no, no, no
495
00:33:55,784 --> 00:33:58,871
- ♪ You're looking at an ace
- ♪ You're looking at an ace
496
00:33:58,996 --> 00:34:01,915
- ♪ You're looking at a goddamned ace
- ♪ You're looking at an ace
497
00:34:02,041 --> 00:34:05,335
- ♪ You're looking at an ace
- ♪ You're looking at an ace
498
00:34:05,461 --> 00:34:09,882
♪ You're looking
at an a-a-a-ace ♪
499
00:34:10,007 --> 00:34:14,595
I just love home movies,
don't you?
500
00:34:14,720 --> 00:34:17,806
Time's tight, Janet.
Do it right, Janet.
501
00:34:19,475 --> 00:34:22,478
Until tomorrow night...
502
00:34:22,561 --> 00:34:24,605
Janet.
503
00:34:27,107 --> 00:34:32,154
Well, Farley Flavours
is fairly flattering.
504
00:34:34,782 --> 00:34:37,159
But I want to see Brad.
505
00:34:37,242 --> 00:34:40,204
The question is, Janet,
does Brad want to see you?
506
00:34:40,287 --> 00:34:44,583
- Quite frankly, he hates you.
- What do you mean?
507
00:34:44,666 --> 00:34:48,670
Brad is harbouring deep feelings of hostility
towards you, Janet.
508
00:34:48,754 --> 00:34:51,548
- Towards me?
- It's classical.
509
00:34:51,632 --> 00:34:55,761
Almost a textbook case.
510
00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:58,555
Oh, no!
511
00:34:58,639 --> 00:35:00,933
That's an extremely
negative response.
512
00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:04,186
Yes, Janet. Leave
the crying to Brad.
513
00:35:04,269 --> 00:35:06,688
Is it because
I'm becoming too popular?
514
00:35:06,772 --> 00:35:11,652
On the contrary, Janet,
he wants to see your ratings soar.
515
00:35:11,735 --> 00:35:16,073
He needs a woman of
exceptional desirability.
516
00:35:16,156 --> 00:35:18,534
So, you see, Janet,
517
00:35:18,617 --> 00:35:22,371
you can help us
to help him.
518
00:35:28,919 --> 00:35:31,588
Maybe I can.
519
00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:48,438
'Stand by for Faith Factory rehearsal.'
520
00:35:48,522 --> 00:35:52,401
I bet that Macy Struthers had a hand in this.
521
00:35:52,484 --> 00:35:55,529
We'll probably be replaced by an hour
of fashion tips.
522
00:35:55,612 --> 00:35:59,158
- Now, Betty, don't overreact.
- Overreact?
523
00:35:59,241 --> 00:36:01,743
You're the one with
theories about conspirac...
524
00:36:03,912 --> 00:36:06,081
- Oliver?
- Yes, Betty?
525
00:36:06,206 --> 00:36:10,627
Are you spoken for
this evening?
526
00:36:20,262 --> 00:36:22,931
All right, you guys.
527
00:36:23,056 --> 00:36:28,353
An early start tomorrow for Janet's debut
on Good Morning Denton.
528
00:36:28,437 --> 00:36:32,274
By the time we unveil
Farley's Faith Factory show...
529
00:36:32,357 --> 00:36:36,195
we'll have all earned
our beauty sleep.
530
00:36:36,278 --> 00:36:41,074
- Could I just peep in on Brad before I go home?
- Home?
531
00:36:42,326 --> 00:36:44,953
Home.
532
00:36:45,078 --> 00:36:48,999
This is the nerve centre
of operations, Janet.
533
00:36:49,082 --> 00:36:52,377
You must stay here tonight.
That way we can all be together
534
00:36:52,461 --> 00:36:57,090
when Mr. Sun paints us a new day
with his golden brush.
535
00:37:01,678 --> 00:37:05,390
And you can "peep in"
on Brad in the morning.
536
00:37:05,515 --> 00:37:07,601
Morning?
537
00:37:07,726 --> 00:37:09,895
Are all the beds
made up?
538
00:37:09,978 --> 00:37:12,189
Oh, yes! I've plumped up
all the pillows, changed...
539
00:37:12,272 --> 00:37:15,484
- Then lock up for the night.
- Okay!
540
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,134
Clever of you to find this spot, Betty.
541
00:37:41,218 --> 00:37:44,221
It pays to know
your way around, Oliver.
542
00:37:44,304 --> 00:37:48,058
I thought the Home of Happiness would
give your theory a new perspective.
543
00:37:48,141 --> 00:37:50,811
A stately
pleasure home indeed.
544
00:37:50,894 --> 00:37:55,607
Oh, I adore
Coleridge Taylor.
545
00:37:55,691 --> 00:37:57,651
As a matter of fact...
546
00:38:02,864 --> 00:38:05,534
"It is an ancient Mariner...
547
00:38:05,617 --> 00:38:08,787
"and he stoppeth
one of three.
548
00:38:08,870 --> 00:38:13,667
"By thy long grey beard
and glittering eye...
549
00:38:13,750 --> 00:38:18,755
"now wherefore
stop'st thou me?"
550
00:38:19,923 --> 00:38:21,967
Oh.
551
00:38:48,410 --> 00:38:51,163
♪ I feel the heat
from your skin
552
00:38:51,246 --> 00:38:53,540
♪ And the stubble
on your chin
553
00:38:53,623 --> 00:38:56,168
♪ You're no good
554
00:38:56,251 --> 00:38:58,879
♪ You're no good
555
00:38:58,962 --> 00:39:01,298
♪ You've got dirt
on your hands
556
00:39:01,381 --> 00:39:03,759
♪ And everybody
understands
557
00:39:03,842 --> 00:39:06,428
♪ You're no good
558
00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:08,597
♪ You're no good
559
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,224
- ♪ Oh, what a joke
- ♪ What a joke
560
00:39:11,308 --> 00:39:13,769
♪ You feel like choking
561
00:39:13,852 --> 00:39:16,355
- ♪ You play for broke
- ♪ You play for broke
562
00:39:16,438 --> 00:39:18,398
♪ He leaves you smoking
563
00:39:18,482 --> 00:39:24,112
♪ Oh, romance is not
a children's game
564
00:39:24,196 --> 00:39:27,074
♪ But you keep
going back
565
00:39:27,157 --> 00:39:31,328
♪ It's driving you
insane
566
00:39:40,087 --> 00:39:45,050
♪ Drift into
the treacle deep
567
00:39:45,133 --> 00:39:49,346
♪ Slip into its silent depths
Go to sleep
568
00:39:49,429 --> 00:39:54,226
♪ With your everything
akimbo
569
00:39:54,309 --> 00:39:59,731
♪ Float into
the sandman's limbo
570
00:39:59,815 --> 00:40:02,067
- ♪ Night, night
- ♪ Night, night
571
00:40:02,150 --> 00:40:04,319
♪ It's time for bye-byes
572
00:40:04,403 --> 00:40:09,699
♪ It's been a great day
Thanks a heap
573
00:40:09,825 --> 00:40:11,743
♪ Now it's time
574
00:40:11,827 --> 00:40:14,162
♪ For everyone
575
00:40:14,246 --> 00:40:19,543
♪ To go to sleep
576
00:40:19,626 --> 00:40:21,670
♪ Night, night
577
00:40:21,753 --> 00:40:24,256
♪ It's time for bye-byes
578
00:40:24,339 --> 00:40:29,302
♪ It's been a great day
Thanks a heap
579
00:40:29,386 --> 00:40:31,680
♪ Now it's time
580
00:40:31,763 --> 00:40:34,141
♪ For everyone
581
00:40:34,224 --> 00:40:38,228
♪ To go to sleep ♪
582
00:40:57,372 --> 00:41:01,084
"He went like one that hath been stunned,
583
00:41:01,209 --> 00:41:05,464
"and is of sense forlorn.
584
00:41:05,547 --> 00:41:09,634
"A sadder and a wiser man,
585
00:41:09,718 --> 00:41:12,179
he rose the morrow morn."
586
00:41:16,266 --> 00:41:19,936
Does this bird belong to you?
587
00:41:43,376 --> 00:41:45,378
Janet?
588
00:41:52,761 --> 00:41:55,514
Are you decent, Janet?
589
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:10,737
Hoopla, Bert!
590
00:42:10,862 --> 00:42:13,740
Nice to see you up and about.
591
00:42:13,865 --> 00:42:16,701
- Mac's waiting in the wardrobe, Janet.
- Uh-huh.
592
00:42:16,826 --> 00:42:20,622
Care to join me
in an on-set snack?
593
00:42:51,027 --> 00:42:54,114
Good morning.
594
00:42:58,451 --> 00:43:00,704
I wanna see Brad.
595
00:43:03,164 --> 00:43:06,376
Look at yourself.
You're beautiful.
596
00:43:06,459 --> 00:43:10,880
The most desirable creature
that ever walked.
597
00:43:12,799 --> 00:43:16,845
Oh, if only Brad could have found it within
himself to say those things to me.
598
00:43:16,928 --> 00:43:21,641
He will, but it's up to you
to reawaken his feelings.
599
00:43:21,725 --> 00:43:24,519
Farley's given you
that chance.
600
00:43:24,603 --> 00:43:26,938
You can use
the Breakfast Show...
601
00:43:27,022 --> 00:43:29,566
to knock Denton dead.
602
00:43:31,151 --> 00:43:33,278
Do you really think so?
603
00:43:33,361 --> 00:43:35,363
Everybody needs you.
604
00:43:38,533 --> 00:43:42,370
- Hmm. But what'll I do? What'll I say?
- Hmm?
605
00:43:42,662 --> 00:43:44,623
- What'll I wear?
- Ah.
606
00:43:48,835 --> 00:43:51,921
♪ Ever since I was
a little boy
607
00:43:52,005 --> 00:43:56,801
♪ Dressing up has always been
my greatest joy
608
00:43:56,926 --> 00:43:59,721
♪ But when it's time
to be discreet
609
00:43:59,804 --> 00:44:03,141
♪ There's one thing
you just can't beat
610
00:44:03,266 --> 00:44:07,354
♪ And that's a strapless
backless, classical little black dress
611
00:44:07,479 --> 00:44:10,523
♪ Well, first you go
rip, rip, rip
612
00:44:10,649 --> 00:44:12,942
♪ Then you go
snip, snip, snip
613
00:44:13,068 --> 00:44:15,362
♪ Then you whip
in a zip, zip, zip
614
00:44:15,487 --> 00:44:18,406
♪ And split it up
to the hip, hip, hip
615
00:44:18,490 --> 00:44:21,660
♪ And as you
strip, strip, strip
616
00:44:21,743 --> 00:44:24,746
♪ You shiver and quiver
617
00:44:24,829 --> 00:44:26,873
♪ For that soft caress
618
00:44:26,956 --> 00:44:31,461
♪ As you slip, slip, slip
into that little black dress
619
00:44:32,879 --> 00:44:35,882
♪ Ever since I was
the ein kleiner herren
620
00:44:35,965 --> 00:44:40,261
♪ It was the Cordon Bleu
for which I am most carin'
621
00:44:40,512 --> 00:44:44,224
♪ And the one taste treat
so sweet
622
00:44:44,307 --> 00:44:47,060
♪ That really can't be beat
623
00:44:47,143 --> 00:44:51,231
♪ Is what we have, ja, how you are, caviar
That little black mess
624
00:44:51,356 --> 00:44:55,026
- Et voilà!
- But how?
625
00:44:55,151 --> 00:44:58,571
♪ Well, first you go
rip, rip, rip
626
00:44:58,655 --> 00:45:00,699
♪ Then you go
snip, snip, snip
627
00:45:00,824 --> 00:45:03,451
♪ Then you whip
in a zip, zip, zip
628
00:45:03,535 --> 00:45:06,037
♪ And split it up
to the hip, hip, hip
629
00:45:06,162 --> 00:45:08,415
♪ And as you
strip, strip, strip
630
00:45:08,540 --> 00:45:12,252
♪ Oh, you quiver and shiver
631
00:45:12,335 --> 00:45:14,212
♪ For that soft caress
632
00:45:14,337 --> 00:45:20,051
♪ As you slip, slip, slip
into that little black dress
633
00:45:20,176 --> 00:45:23,304
- ♪ That minimal
- ♪ Minimal
634
00:45:23,430 --> 00:45:25,765
- ♪ Criminal
- ♪ Criminal
635
00:45:25,890 --> 00:45:29,519
♪ Cynical little black dress
636
00:45:31,187 --> 00:45:34,482
♪ Let's face it, Mac
That basic black is coming back
637
00:45:36,693 --> 00:45:40,572
♪ Let's face it, Mac
That basic black is coming back
638
00:45:40,697 --> 00:45:45,243
♪ Let's face it, Mac
That basic black is coming back
639
00:45:46,911 --> 00:45:49,330
- ♪ That minimal
- ♪ Minimal
640
00:45:49,414 --> 00:45:52,083
- ♪ Criminal
- ♪ Criminal
641
00:45:52,167 --> 00:45:55,837
- ♪ Cynical
- ♪ Little black dress ♪
642
00:45:55,962 --> 00:45:59,758
Good morning, Denton. Rise and shine.
643
00:45:59,841 --> 00:46:03,052
She'll be here any second now.
So let's give her a great big hand.
644
00:46:03,136 --> 00:46:05,138
Come on now.
645
00:46:21,362 --> 00:46:25,366
Oh, Janet, I can't tell
you how excited I am... for you.
646
00:46:25,450 --> 00:46:28,536
We've got the band
and dancers and dry ice standing by.
647
00:46:28,620 --> 00:46:32,290
Betty Hapschatt is indisposed,
so Macy will have to do the introductions.
648
00:46:32,373 --> 00:46:34,375
I don't need introductions.
649
00:46:36,002 --> 00:46:38,421
The fabulous, the golden...
650
00:46:38,546 --> 00:46:40,965
the very wonderful...
651
00:46:41,090 --> 00:46:42,592
- I knew it!
- ♪ Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet
652
00:46:42,717 --> 00:46:46,262
- I knew it!
- ♪ Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet
653
00:46:47,889 --> 00:46:51,810
♪ There's just
the two of me
654
00:46:51,893 --> 00:46:56,689
♪ Alone at last together
655
00:46:56,773 --> 00:47:01,402
♪ We've got
the luck so far
656
00:47:01,486 --> 00:47:04,948
♪ We are my lucky star
657
00:47:05,031 --> 00:47:09,035
Star, star, star, star,
star, star, star, star.
658
00:47:17,752 --> 00:47:21,506
♪ Deep in the heart of me
659
00:47:21,589 --> 00:47:25,343
♪ I love every part of me
660
00:47:25,426 --> 00:47:29,013
♪ All I can see in me
661
00:47:29,097 --> 00:47:32,600
♪ Is the danger
and ecstasy
662
00:47:32,684 --> 00:47:37,146
♪ Yeah, one thing
there couldn't be
663
00:47:37,230 --> 00:47:41,442
♪ Is any more me in me
664
00:47:41,526 --> 00:47:44,988
♪ This is the me of me
665
00:47:45,113 --> 00:47:48,992
♪ Me, me, me
666
00:47:49,075 --> 00:47:52,871
♪ Me, me
667
00:47:52,954 --> 00:47:56,875
♪ Me, me, me
668
00:47:56,958 --> 00:47:59,168
♪ Me, me, me
669
00:48:02,589 --> 00:48:06,551
♪ I am my destiny
670
00:48:09,095 --> 00:48:14,058
♪ I'd never lie to me
671
00:48:14,142 --> 00:48:18,187
♪ I'd be willing to die
pour moi
672
00:48:18,271 --> 00:48:21,399
♪ I'll pray every day
to me
673
00:48:21,524 --> 00:48:25,737
♪ And here's what
I'd say to me
674
00:48:25,862 --> 00:48:29,908
♪ This is the me of me
675
00:48:29,991 --> 00:48:34,329
♪ Me, me, me<
676
00:48:34,412 --> 00:48:37,665
♪ Me, me
677
00:48:37,749 --> 00:48:41,461
♪ Me, me, me
678
00:48:41,544 --> 00:48:44,547
♪ Me, me, me
679
00:48:44,672 --> 00:48:47,592
- ♪ Me, me, me
- Aah!
680
00:48:47,717 --> 00:48:51,054
♪ Ooh, me, me
681
00:48:51,179 --> 00:48:53,765
- ♪ Me, me, me
- Yeah!
682
00:48:53,890 --> 00:48:57,769
♪ Whoa, me, me
683
00:48:57,894 --> 00:49:01,648
♪ Look at me
684
00:49:01,731 --> 00:49:03,608
♪ Moi, moi ♪
685
00:49:07,195 --> 00:49:09,322
Ah!
686
00:49:09,447 --> 00:49:12,408
Janet! Janet!
687
00:49:12,492 --> 00:49:14,953
Janet!
688
00:49:23,044 --> 00:49:26,214
And you can see
and hear Janet tonight
689
00:49:26,297 --> 00:49:30,301
on Faith Factory, brought
to you by Farley Flavours.
690
00:49:30,385 --> 00:49:32,929
All right, Janet.
691
00:49:33,012 --> 00:49:36,182
- You were far out.
- Terrific.
692
00:49:38,851 --> 00:49:41,270
Out of self
came selflessness!
693
00:49:41,354 --> 00:49:44,524
You revealed yourself,
the real you, the secret you.
694
00:49:44,607 --> 00:49:47,610
- And you liked what you saw, didn't you, Janet?
- Well, I must say...
695
00:49:47,694 --> 00:49:51,864
- How's Brad?
- Well, if he caught my act, he'll be lookin' good.
696
00:49:54,909 --> 00:49:58,830
It seems I'm his medicine,
so we're off to give him another spoonful.
697
00:49:58,913 --> 00:50:02,250
Check you later, Betty.
I gotta freshen up.
698
00:50:08,464 --> 00:50:12,051
Hey, how about that?
Janet was a knockout!
699
00:50:12,135 --> 00:50:14,303
- Thank you.
- Yeah, she was terrific.
700
00:50:14,387 --> 00:50:17,056
- Sexy!
- What?
701
00:50:18,391 --> 00:50:20,852
At the same time fresh,
untouched, you know.
702
00:50:20,935 --> 00:50:24,147
- Hey, how's Brad?
- He's fine.
703
00:50:24,230 --> 00:50:26,899
Lucky dog, with a pretty girl
like that for a wife.
704
00:50:26,983 --> 00:50:31,696
Yeah, he sure is.
No sugar. Thanks, Kirk.
705
00:50:31,779 --> 00:50:35,033
Well, I'll sugar his daughter's...
706
00:50:35,116 --> 00:50:38,161
Coffee, Kirk.
I'm dying for it.
707
00:50:38,244 --> 00:50:41,873
R.I.P., Betty.
You're off the air.
708
00:50:43,416 --> 00:50:47,003
What's happening here?
Janet's on the Breakfast Show...
709
00:50:47,086 --> 00:50:51,257
Brad's committed
to a nowhere series, and we've been...
710
00:50:51,340 --> 00:50:53,551
Written out?
711
00:50:53,676 --> 00:50:56,929
'Dentonvale.
712
00:50:58,973 --> 00:51:02,351
'The Mission of Mercy.
713
00:51:02,435 --> 00:51:06,189
'Starring the increasingly
popular Janet Majors.'
714
00:51:06,272 --> 00:51:08,483
Hi, Mommy.
Hi, Daddy.
715
00:51:08,608 --> 00:51:13,529
Hi, Brad. I've just come to
tell you how fabulous I am.
716
00:51:13,654 --> 00:51:17,158
Janet, where's that
lovely dress I made you?
717
00:51:17,283 --> 00:51:20,536
Oh, Mac just whipped up
this little crowd-pleaser.
718
00:51:20,620 --> 00:51:22,872
Well, you're
practically naked!
719
00:51:22,955 --> 00:51:26,250
I can't wear anything under it, Daddy.
It would spoil the line.
720
00:51:28,711 --> 00:51:33,549
My God, Janet. How can you say such things?
Look at Brad. Look what they've done to him.
721
00:51:33,674 --> 00:51:37,178
- Ah. Janet's parents?
- Are you the doctor?
722
00:51:37,261 --> 00:51:39,555
- Yes.
- There's gonna have to be an investigation.
723
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:43,267
- There are regulations about this sort of thing.
- It's for his own good.
724
00:51:43,392 --> 00:51:48,731
- Hoopla, Janet!
- Bert! Sweetheart! Oh, it's fabulous!
725
00:51:51,150 --> 00:51:53,361
- What's going on here?
- You're wearing your black.
726
00:51:53,486 --> 00:51:57,365
- Yes, of course.
- I adore that colour.
727
00:51:57,490 --> 00:52:01,327
Patient was in great danger
of doing himself a mischief.
728
00:52:01,452 --> 00:52:05,123
We only want what's best for him.
As parents, you must understand.
729
00:52:05,248 --> 00:52:07,416
No. No, I don't!
730
00:52:07,500 --> 00:52:11,754
Brad doesn't need to be trussed up like
a turkey. There are drugs to keep him quiet.
731
00:52:11,838 --> 00:52:15,007
- We used them. All of them.
- And none of them worked?
732
00:52:15,091 --> 00:52:17,260
- No.
- Then double the strength.
733
00:52:17,343 --> 00:52:19,428
- We did.
- We know our job.
734
00:52:19,554 --> 00:52:24,433
We also know how you feel.
We're not strangers to confusion.
735
00:52:27,728 --> 00:52:30,398
- 'We're not confused.'
- 'Well, I am, goddamn it!'
736
00:52:30,523 --> 00:52:33,651
You trust Brad
with this crowd-pleaser?
737
00:52:33,776 --> 00:52:36,988
Ooh.
738
00:52:39,740 --> 00:52:43,995
♪ I'm not a locum with
motive to suture myself
739
00:52:44,078 --> 00:52:47,165
♪ I've been a cynic
for too many years
740
00:52:47,248 --> 00:52:50,793
♪ Playing doctor and nurse
It can be good for your health
741
00:52:50,918 --> 00:52:56,215
♪ I've seen clinics with
those gimmicks in Tangiers
742
00:52:57,717 --> 00:53:00,636
♪ But if you open your heart
to a smooth operator
743
00:53:00,761 --> 00:53:04,765
♪ He'll take you for all
that you've got
744
00:53:04,891 --> 00:53:09,312
♪ He'll hand you a curse
that'll be with you later
745
00:53:09,437 --> 00:53:12,023
♪ It'll shake you
the way he takes off
746
00:53:12,106 --> 00:53:14,650
♪ Like a shot
747
00:53:14,734 --> 00:53:17,653
- ♪ You need a bit of
- ♪ Ooh, shock treatment
748
00:53:17,737 --> 00:53:20,740
♪ Gets you jumping
like a real live wire
749
00:53:20,865 --> 00:53:24,869
- ♪ You need a bit of
- ♪ Ooh, shock treatment
750
00:53:24,994 --> 00:53:28,080
♪ So look out, mister
Don't you blow your last resistor
751
00:53:28,164 --> 00:53:31,584
♪ For a vista
that'll mystify ya
752
00:53:33,586 --> 00:53:37,298
♪ You're blinded by romance
You're blinded by science
753
00:53:37,381 --> 00:53:40,718
♪ Your condition
is critically grave
754
00:53:40,801 --> 00:53:44,805
♪ But don't expect mercy
from such an alliance
755
00:53:44,889 --> 00:53:50,353
♪ Suspicion of tradition's so new wave
756
00:53:50,436 --> 00:53:53,940
- ♪ You need a bit of
- ♪ Ooh, shock treatment
757
00:53:54,065 --> 00:53:56,943
♪ Gets you jumping
like a real live wire
758
00:53:57,068 --> 00:54:00,821
- ♪ You need a bit of
- ♪ Ooh, shock treatment
759
00:54:00,947 --> 00:54:04,200
♪ So look out, mister
Don't you blow your last resistor
760
00:54:04,325 --> 00:54:08,287
♪ For a sister that'll certify ya
761
00:54:08,371 --> 00:54:12,250
- ♪ You need a bit of
- ♪ Ooh, shock treatment
762
00:54:12,375 --> 00:54:15,002
♪ Gets you jumping
like a real live wire
763
00:54:15,127 --> 00:54:19,298
- ♪ You need a bit of
- ♪ Ooh, shock treatment
764
00:54:19,423 --> 00:54:22,260
♪ So look out, mister
Don't you blow your last resistor
765
00:54:22,385 --> 00:54:28,266
♪ For a sister that'll certify ya ♪
766
00:54:28,349 --> 00:54:31,143
Aha!
767
00:54:34,146 --> 00:54:38,109
Look at that!
Bert Schnick's dancing!
768
00:54:41,570 --> 00:54:46,284
- Bert can see!
- Macabre, isn't it?
769
00:54:46,409 --> 00:54:49,495
The blind<
leading the blind.
770
00:54:56,961 --> 00:54:59,088
- Welcome to the Faith Factory rehearsal.
- Thank you.
771
00:54:59,171 --> 00:55:02,341
- We're all really excited about tonight.
- Oh.
772
00:55:02,425 --> 00:55:07,096
- Oh, do I get one of those?
- Oh, yes, yes, of course you do.
773
00:55:07,179 --> 00:55:11,142
Janet? Janet? Janet?
774
00:55:12,601 --> 00:55:17,398
Janet! Janet! We want Janet!
775
00:55:17,523 --> 00:55:19,692
Oh, really?
776
00:55:19,775 --> 00:55:23,446
Macy, why don't you take Janet
and help her freshen up before the rehearsal?
777
00:55:23,529 --> 00:55:26,490
Surely.
778
00:55:29,744 --> 00:55:32,913
Ralph. You promised
me an introduction.
779
00:55:32,997 --> 00:55:35,041
Later, Francine.
780
00:55:35,124 --> 00:55:37,418
Frankie!
781
00:55:38,461 --> 00:55:42,673
Bert, could you spare
a moment?
782
00:55:42,757 --> 00:55:45,634
Of course.
783
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:48,304
Janet! Janet!
We want Janet!
784
00:55:48,387 --> 00:55:51,974
- Janet! Janet! We want Janet!
- Janet, a quick word.
785
00:55:52,058 --> 00:55:56,145
Could you tell our viewers what exactly you
will be representing tonight?
786
00:55:56,228 --> 00:55:59,148
- Sanity for today.
- Wow!
787
00:55:59,231 --> 00:56:01,942
And that's the word
from Janet Majors,
788
00:56:02,026 --> 00:56:04,236
DTV's newest star.
789
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:06,322
Okay, guys, let's move on.
790
00:56:06,405 --> 00:56:09,033
- How's Brad?
- He's a wreck.
791
00:56:09,116 --> 00:56:13,454
- Check. The quacks are willing tools?
- Ah, the quacks are fools.
792
00:56:13,537 --> 00:56:17,708
You know, I wouldn't mind doing Janet
one or two favours.
793
00:56:17,792 --> 00:56:20,628
It's time to check
with Flavours.
794
00:56:23,339 --> 00:56:27,009
Shoot.
795
00:56:33,182 --> 00:56:36,352
Is there anything else
you'd like, Janet?
796
00:56:36,435 --> 00:56:41,107
Yeah, a new carpet.
I hate the colour. Don't you?
797
00:56:41,190 --> 00:56:44,693
It's only one night, Janet.
798
00:56:44,777 --> 00:56:47,905
- Don't forget who we're doing this for.
- Who?
799
00:56:47,988 --> 00:56:50,324
Brad.
800
00:56:50,408 --> 00:56:55,579
You know, I'm getting awfully sick of hearing
about that emotional cripple.
801
00:56:55,663 --> 00:57:00,543
I've got a lot going for me, you know.
I'm going places. I'm gonna be someone.
802
00:57:00,626 --> 00:57:03,546
I'm gonna win my way
into the lives and hearts of the people
803
00:57:03,629 --> 00:57:07,258
even if I have
to kill to do it.
804
00:57:07,341 --> 00:57:10,803
I'll make the pathetic
little crumbs love me.
805
00:57:13,764 --> 00:57:16,642
I don't even know why
I'm wasting my time here with you.
806
00:57:16,725 --> 00:57:18,686
I should be with my people.
807
00:57:18,811 --> 00:57:21,981
'Janet! Janet! We want Janet!'
808
00:57:22,106 --> 00:57:24,024
Janet! Janet!
We want Janet!
809
00:57:24,108 --> 00:57:26,318
Janet! Janet! We want Janet!
810
00:57:26,402 --> 00:57:29,363
Janet! Janet!
We want Janet!
811
00:57:29,488 --> 00:57:31,532
Janet! Janet!
We want Janet!
812
00:57:33,367 --> 00:57:35,369
Hey, Janet!
813
00:57:35,494 --> 00:57:37,997
- Girl, you're great!
- Oh, thanks.
814
00:57:38,122 --> 00:57:40,916
- Hi. My name's Frankie.
- Francine!
815
00:57:41,041 --> 00:57:43,752
And I think you're beautiful.
816
00:57:47,465 --> 00:57:51,927
Hi, I'm Brenda. This is my brother Oscar,
and this is our friend, Glish Davison.
817
00:57:52,052 --> 00:57:56,682
Janet, we really enjoyed doing
the Breakfast Show with you.
818
00:57:58,893 --> 00:58:03,022
This is Janet.
She's a phenomenon.
819
00:58:03,147 --> 00:58:06,150
♪ So if you're looking for a standard
to which you can aspire
820
00:58:06,275 --> 00:58:08,569
♪ Then, baby
821
00:58:08,694 --> 00:58:12,990
♪ Look at me
Whoa-oh
822
00:58:14,658 --> 00:58:17,828
- ♪ Look at me ♪
- All right!
823
00:58:22,541 --> 00:58:24,919
I think you need
a little rest.
824
00:58:25,044 --> 00:58:28,047
You've got a big night
ahead of you.
825
00:58:28,172 --> 00:58:32,218
Your clothes are real neat.
826
00:58:32,343 --> 00:58:34,678
'Reminder. Wardrobe check...'
827
00:58:34,803 --> 00:58:39,058
'We want Janet!
Janet! Janet! We want Janet!'
828
00:58:39,141 --> 00:58:41,852
Aren't they great?
829
00:58:41,936 --> 00:58:43,896
But getting back
to Faith Factory,
830
00:58:43,979 --> 00:58:46,982
all in all, it looks
like an exciting new series for us.
831
00:58:47,066 --> 00:58:49,818
Yes, and an attractive financial
prospect for Denton.
832
00:58:49,902 --> 00:58:53,906
- And fashion-wise?
- What did I tell you?
833
00:58:54,031 --> 00:58:57,993
Well, I can just say that Faith Factory
will be introducing a new look
834
00:58:58,077 --> 00:59:02,498
that will show off one or two old faces
in an exciting new light.
835
00:59:02,623 --> 00:59:06,252
- Really? Sounds interesting.
- Did you hear that, Oliver?
836
00:59:06,377 --> 00:59:10,673
Yes, Betty. But the false
promise of a new dawn
837
00:59:10,798 --> 00:59:15,302
usually leads to
a most bloody sunset.
838
00:59:15,427 --> 00:59:19,682
No, I don't know what Janet's next move
will be, but you can be sure of one thing.
839
00:59:19,765 --> 00:59:24,728
- It all starts right here.
- Thank you.
840
00:59:26,188 --> 00:59:28,440
And that's the word
from Ralph Hapschatt...
841
00:59:28,524 --> 00:59:30,442
and Macy Struthers.
842
00:59:30,526 --> 00:59:32,778
'Janet! Janet! We want Janet!
843
00:59:32,861 --> 00:59:35,489
'Janet! Janet!
We want Janet!'
844
00:59:35,573 --> 00:59:37,491
- Oh, Oliver!
- Hmm?
845
00:59:37,575 --> 00:59:39,577
What are we going to do?
846
00:59:40,661 --> 00:59:42,705
Care to indulge?
847
00:59:42,788 --> 00:59:45,165
- Indulge?
- Mm-hmm.
848
00:59:45,249 --> 00:59:48,002
- In a little, um, masquerade?
- 'Final reminder.'
849
00:59:48,085 --> 00:59:50,462
- Oh.
- 'Wardrobe check for Faith Factory medical outfits.
850
00:59:50,546 --> 00:59:53,382
'Wardrobe check for
Faith Factory medical outfits.'
851
00:59:53,507 --> 00:59:56,927
'Dentonvale.
852
00:59:57,052 --> 00:59:59,221
'Parental predicament.'
853
00:59:59,305 --> 01:00:01,265
Oh, Harry,
what are we gonna do?
854
01:00:01,348 --> 01:00:04,143
I don't know, Emily.
I'm worried.
855
01:00:04,268 --> 01:00:08,439
Maybe I could wear
those black leather brogues.
856
01:00:08,522 --> 01:00:12,401
Too flashy.
They'll clash with the new outfits.
857
01:00:12,526 --> 01:00:17,406
It's all right, Brad, dear.
858
01:00:17,489 --> 01:00:19,450
Have another sedative.
859
01:00:22,244 --> 01:00:24,622
We'll miss you
on the show tonight.
860
01:00:27,291 --> 01:00:30,669
Don't worry, Brad.
I'll be back.
861
01:00:32,212 --> 01:00:36,425
- What about those Italian loafers I bought in Hawaii?
- Mmm.
862
01:00:43,766 --> 01:00:47,936
I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am.
863
01:01:01,492 --> 01:01:05,371
Face it, Janet.
Brad's an emotional cripple.
864
01:01:09,375 --> 01:01:12,795
- Quite frankly...
- He hates you.
865
01:01:17,216 --> 01:01:19,802
'Time's tight, Janet.
866
01:01:19,885 --> 01:01:22,638
'Do it right, Janet.
867
01:01:22,721 --> 01:01:24,890
'Until tonight...
868
01:01:26,016 --> 01:01:28,018
'Janet.'
869
01:01:31,939 --> 01:01:35,150
I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am.
870
01:01:35,275 --> 01:01:37,194
I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am.
871
01:01:42,282 --> 01:01:45,160
♪ Out on a cul-de-sac
872
01:01:46,870 --> 01:01:49,790
♪ And I gotta go back
873
01:01:51,625 --> 01:01:54,586
♪ So come on, feet
874
01:01:55,713 --> 01:01:58,757
♪ We gotta hit the street
875
01:02:00,384 --> 01:02:04,888
♪ We've got it made
876
01:02:04,972 --> 01:02:07,307
♪ I'm looking for trade
877
01:02:09,351 --> 01:02:12,604
♪ I'm lookin' for love
878
01:02:13,647 --> 01:02:15,941
♪ I'm lookin' for trade
879
01:02:18,318 --> 01:02:22,573
♪ I need some young blood
I need some young blood
880
01:02:22,656 --> 01:02:24,908
♪ I need it now
881
01:02:26,827 --> 01:02:31,457
♪ I need some young blood
I need some young blood
882
01:02:31,540 --> 01:02:34,585
♪ And we're gonna
get it somehow
883
01:02:36,462 --> 01:02:38,881
♪ I'm on a dead-end street
884
01:02:40,758 --> 01:02:43,302
♪ I'm like a dog
in the heat
885
01:02:45,137 --> 01:02:49,099
♪ I'm like a kid
with no toys
886
01:02:49,183 --> 01:02:53,437
♪ I wanna get those boys
887
01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:58,317
♪ Oh, I can't be delayed
888
01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:01,153
♪ I'm looking for trade
889
01:03:03,197 --> 01:03:06,992
♪ I'm lookin' for love
890
01:03:07,075 --> 01:03:09,620
♪ I'm looking for trade
891
01:03:12,164 --> 01:03:16,752
♪ Oh, we're all livin'
like there's no tomorrow
892
01:03:16,835 --> 01:03:20,756
♪ And the way things are going
that's probably true
893
01:03:20,839 --> 01:03:24,593
♪ But without you and me, Sis
the world would fall to pieces
894
01:03:24,718 --> 01:03:27,346
♪ Vena cava
Who's the raver
895
01:03:27,429 --> 01:03:29,807
♪ Our raving saviour
that's you
896
01:03:32,017 --> 01:03:34,645
♪ I'm on the primrose path
897
01:03:36,396 --> 01:03:39,066
♪ I'm looking for a laugh
898
01:03:40,859 --> 01:03:44,029
♪ Remember, it's no fun
899
01:03:45,197 --> 01:03:48,158
♪ To be the chosen one
900
01:03:49,576 --> 01:03:52,704
♪ There are games
to be played
901
01:03:54,581 --> 01:03:56,959
♪ Looking for trade
902
01:03:58,794 --> 01:04:02,381
♪ I'm looking for love
903
01:04:02,506 --> 01:04:05,259
♪ I'm looking for trade
904
01:04:07,761 --> 01:04:11,807
♪ I need some young blood
I need some young blood
905
01:04:11,890 --> 01:04:13,976
♪ And I need it now
906
01:04:14,059 --> 01:04:16,061
♪ Oh
907
01:04:16,144 --> 01:04:20,732
♪ I need some young blood
I need some young blood
908
01:04:20,816 --> 01:04:23,694
♪ And I'm gonna
get it somehow
909
01:04:23,777 --> 01:04:25,863
♪ I'm looking for trade ♪
910
01:04:25,946 --> 01:04:28,282
'Janet, Janet! We want Janet!
911
01:04:28,407 --> 01:04:32,953
- 'Janet, Janet! We want Janet!'
- Janet? Janet?
912
01:04:33,078 --> 01:04:35,664
Wake up, Janet.
913
01:04:35,789 --> 01:04:40,794
You've got guests.
You can come in now.
914
01:04:42,546 --> 01:04:45,215
- Hi, Janet.
- How are you feeling?
915
01:04:45,340 --> 01:04:47,426
Who are you?
916
01:04:47,551 --> 01:04:51,430
- The band.
- Do you have any friends?
917
01:04:51,555 --> 01:04:54,016
Sure.
918
01:04:54,099 --> 01:04:56,143
You won't have soon.
919
01:04:58,145 --> 01:05:00,856
What are you called,
your band?
920
01:05:00,981 --> 01:05:03,567
Oscar Drill and the Bits.
921
01:05:18,290 --> 01:05:23,629
Betty, it's imperative we get Janet
out of Farley's fast fingers
922
01:05:23,712 --> 01:05:28,634
and Brad out of that hellhole before
they both disappear forever.
923
01:05:28,717 --> 01:05:31,219
I don't mind
telling you, Oliver...
924
01:05:31,303 --> 01:05:33,931
I'm not looking
forward to this.
925
01:05:34,014 --> 01:05:36,224
If only I could
place that name.
926
01:05:36,308 --> 01:05:40,062
- McKinley.
- There was a president.
927
01:05:40,145 --> 01:05:42,397
President?
928
01:05:42,481 --> 01:05:45,400
Past presidents.
929
01:05:45,484 --> 01:05:48,612
Betty, this is
beginning to add up.
930
01:05:48,695 --> 01:05:51,281
Really?
931
01:05:51,365 --> 01:05:53,408
What'll I pin this on?
932
01:05:53,492 --> 01:05:55,494
Faith, Betty.
933
01:05:57,329 --> 01:06:00,624
But make sure it's your own.
934
01:06:04,378 --> 01:06:06,380
In a hurry, Mr. Flavours?
935
01:06:06,463 --> 01:06:09,424
There's a little lady
he doesn't wanna keep waiting.
936
01:06:09,508 --> 01:06:13,011
- And a date.
- Who with, Mr. Flavours?
937
01:06:15,514 --> 01:06:17,516
The past.
938
01:06:24,648 --> 01:06:27,818
♪ Like a virgin with an urgin'
in a surgery
939
01:06:27,901 --> 01:06:31,238
♪ I'll be swingin'
I'll be bringing out the nurse in me
940
01:06:31,321 --> 01:06:34,366
♪ The art will start
when I play my part
941
01:06:34,449 --> 01:06:37,577
♪ As a healer who will
steal your heart
942
01:06:37,661 --> 01:06:41,832
♪ Oh, look what I did
to my id
943
01:06:44,042 --> 01:06:48,213
♪ Oh, look what I did
to my id
944
01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:53,468
♪ With neurosis in profusion
945
01:06:53,552 --> 01:06:56,972
♪ And psychosis in your soul
946
01:06:57,055 --> 01:07:00,142
♪ Eliminate confusion
947
01:07:00,225 --> 01:07:06,148
♪ And hide inside
a brand-new role
948
01:07:06,231 --> 01:07:10,235
♪ Like a good-time girl
I'm gonna try some new tricks
949
01:07:10,318 --> 01:07:13,113
♪ This could be the start
of a whole new career
950
01:07:13,196 --> 01:07:16,366
♪ Got a deep plum lipstick
and some therapeutics
951
01:07:16,450 --> 01:07:19,202
♪ This could take us to a town
that's nowhere near here
952
01:07:19,286 --> 01:07:23,081
♪ Got the hot flush symptoms
and I'm feelin' sneaky
953
01:07:23,165 --> 01:07:25,709
♪ Young male intern
tall and handsome
954
01:07:25,792 --> 01:07:29,212
♪ Got my hem so high
they'll say I'm being cheeky
955
01:07:29,296 --> 01:07:32,716
♪ With legs like mine
I'm really made for dancin'
956
01:07:34,926 --> 01:07:37,095
♪ Whoa-oh-oh
957
01:07:38,263 --> 01:07:40,265
♪ Hey, hey, hey
958
01:07:45,187 --> 01:07:48,523
♪ When heaven's
in the music
959
01:07:48,607 --> 01:07:51,735
♪ Hell is in control
960
01:07:51,818 --> 01:07:54,362
♪ The angels got the voices
961
01:07:54,446 --> 01:07:59,910
♪ But the devil's got
the rock and roll
962
01:08:01,578 --> 01:08:04,372
♪ We may look like
we're phony medics
963
01:08:04,456 --> 01:08:07,459
♪ But we took our look
from a book by Fredericks
964
01:08:07,542 --> 01:08:12,839
♪ Oh, look what I did
to my id, kid
965
01:08:14,091 --> 01:08:18,053
♪ Look what I did
to my id ♪
966
01:08:18,136 --> 01:08:19,096
- Oh, Brad.
- He's an emotional cripple, remember?
967
01:08:19,221 --> 01:08:22,390
- Oh, Brad.
- He's an emotional cripple, remember?
968
01:08:22,474 --> 01:08:24,768
Even he wouldn't like
to see you like this.
969
01:08:24,851 --> 01:08:28,563
Ralph, I need a final statement from her,
and if I don't get it, there's gonna be trouble.
970
01:08:28,647 --> 01:08:31,399
- Later, Neely, okay?
- Ralph!
971
01:08:31,483 --> 01:08:34,194
How is she?
972
01:08:34,319 --> 01:08:36,696
Well, come on.
Farley's expecting her any minute.
973
01:08:36,822 --> 01:08:39,241
You guys get your asses
in front of those cameras,
974
01:08:39,324 --> 01:08:42,077
and try and earn yourselves
a reputation, okay?
975
01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:44,079
Well, move!
976
01:08:44,204 --> 01:08:46,456
We just wanna ask
a few questions.
977
01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:51,419
These are for you, Janet.
978
01:08:51,503 --> 01:08:53,547
They'll make you feel
a whole lot better.
979
01:08:53,630 --> 01:08:55,549
Yeah.
980
01:08:59,553 --> 01:09:01,555
Amateurs.
981
01:09:06,309 --> 01:09:09,104
- 'Give us a "J"!'
- 'J!'
982
01:09:09,187 --> 01:09:10,772
- 'A!'
- 'A!'
983
01:09:10,856 --> 01:09:12,315
- 'N!'
- 'N!'
984
01:09:12,399 --> 01:09:13,650
- E!
- E!
985
01:09:13,733 --> 01:09:15,527
- Give us a "T"!'
- 'T!'
986
01:09:15,610 --> 01:09:18,613
We can't hear you!
987
01:09:18,697 --> 01:09:21,116
- Give us a "J"!
- J!
988
01:09:50,896 --> 01:09:54,566
Oh, my God.
Character actors.
989
01:09:54,691 --> 01:09:56,776
'Ladies and gentlemen...
990
01:09:56,860 --> 01:10:00,155
'the studio band will soon<
be here to entertain you
991
01:10:00,238 --> 01:10:04,159
'in anticipation of tonight's
premiere taping
992
01:10:04,242 --> 01:10:07,495
of Farley Flavours'
Faith Factory.'
993
01:10:20,967 --> 01:10:24,262
And so if you're a follower
of exotic trends in fashion,
994
01:10:24,346 --> 01:10:27,265
you'll find plenty to keep
you going here tonight.
995
01:10:27,349 --> 01:10:29,392
And, naturally,
feeling the excitement,
996
01:10:29,476 --> 01:10:32,020
and not wishing to stick out
like a sore thumb,
997
01:10:32,103 --> 01:10:35,106
I had to get a little outfit
of my own together.
998
01:10:35,190 --> 01:10:38,026
And this...
999
01:10:38,151 --> 01:10:40,070
is it.
1000
01:10:57,128 --> 01:10:59,130
'Ladies and gentlemen...'
1001
01:10:59,256 --> 01:11:01,800
to help get you in the mood
for Faith Factory...
1002
01:11:01,925 --> 01:11:06,888
DTV proudly presents
Denton's own...
1003
01:11:06,972 --> 01:11:10,767
with a suburban
garage sound.
1004
01:11:10,850 --> 01:11:14,938
Let's hear it for
Oscar Drill and the Bits!
1005
01:11:15,063 --> 01:11:16,773
Oh, Oliver.
1006
01:11:16,898 --> 01:11:19,734
This is one time charity
didn't begin at home.
1007
01:11:19,818 --> 01:11:21,027
'One, two, three, four!'
1008
01:11:28,159 --> 01:11:33,415
♪ I know how it feels
to be coolin' my heels
1009
01:11:33,498 --> 01:11:36,751
♪ I've been down on them
long enough
1010
01:11:37,877 --> 01:11:41,464
♪ But if I take
to them now
1011
01:11:41,589 --> 01:11:44,551
♪ Then maybe somehow
1012
01:11:44,634 --> 01:11:46,678
♪ You'll see
through the bluff
1013
01:11:46,761 --> 01:11:48,847
♪ Of my playin' it tough
1014
01:11:51,099 --> 01:11:53,476
♪ I've been a lifetime on deposit
1015
01:11:53,601 --> 01:11:56,396
♪ And that's a long time
in the closet
1016
01:11:56,521 --> 01:11:59,107
- ♪ And if you say to me
- ♪ How was it
1017
01:11:59,190 --> 01:12:02,444
♪ It was hard takin'
that heartbreakin'
1018
01:12:02,527 --> 01:12:05,071
♪ Godforsaken route
But I'm... ♪
1019
01:12:05,196 --> 01:12:08,074
- ♪ Buh-buh-buh-buh, buh-duh
- ♪ Breakin' out
1020
01:12:09,451 --> 01:12:11,453
Whoo!
1021
01:12:12,537 --> 01:12:15,248
♪ You may say
that you choose
1022
01:12:15,373 --> 01:12:18,293
♪ To be in my shoes
1023
01:12:18,418 --> 01:12:21,921
♪ But look what it
did for me
1024
01:12:23,715 --> 01:12:26,843
♪ I got buried alive
1025
01:12:26,926 --> 01:12:29,888
♪ I don't thrive
on that jive
1026
01:12:30,013 --> 01:12:31,931
♪ Look and you'll see
1027
01:12:32,057 --> 01:12:34,267
♪ That my spikes
don't fit me
1028
01:12:35,810 --> 01:12:38,730
♪ I've been a lifetime
on deposit
1029
01:12:38,855 --> 01:12:41,274
♪ And that's a long time
in the closet
1030
01:12:41,399 --> 01:12:43,985
- ♪ And if you say to me
- ♪ How was it
1031
01:12:44,110 --> 01:12:47,530
♪ It was hard takin'
that heartbreakin'♪<
1032
01:12:47,655 --> 01:12:50,033
♪ Godforsaken route
1033
01:12:50,158 --> 01:12:52,577
- ♪ But I'm-♪
- ♪ Buh-buh-buh-buh, buh-duh
1034
01:12:52,702 --> 01:12:54,662
- ♪ Breakin' out
- Where are we goin'?
1035
01:12:54,746 --> 01:12:57,665
To a family reunion.
1036
01:12:57,791 --> 01:12:59,459
♪ Breakin' out
1037
01:12:59,584 --> 01:13:02,337
- Breakin' out!
- ♪ Breakin' out
1038
01:13:02,462 --> 01:13:05,006
♪ Breakin' out ♪
1039
01:13:18,353 --> 01:13:22,816
And she represents everything
our customers want.
1040
01:13:22,899 --> 01:13:24,859
Innocence...
1041
01:13:24,943 --> 01:13:26,986
decency...
1042
01:13:27,070 --> 01:13:29,030
and the illusion
of a happy ending.
1043
01:13:29,114 --> 01:13:32,075
Oh, jolly good, Mr. Flavours.
1044
01:13:34,035 --> 01:13:38,456
And behind her image,
take-away therapy will thrive
1045
01:13:38,540 --> 01:13:43,670
under the capable hands
of two great ethical intellects
1046
01:13:43,753 --> 01:13:46,047
operating on the frontiers
of medical science.
1047
01:13:46,131 --> 01:13:48,049
- Huh? Huh?
- Mac and Nation.
1048
01:13:48,133 --> 01:13:50,051
Mac and Nation.
Yes. Great work.
1049
01:13:50,135 --> 01:13:53,346
And under
the firm guidance
1050
01:13:53,430 --> 01:13:56,683
of a great survivor
1051
01:13:56,766 --> 01:13:59,644
in the treacherous
sea of diplomacy,
1052
01:13:59,727 --> 01:14:01,729
our own Bert Schnick.
1053
01:14:01,813 --> 01:14:04,357
Huh?
1054
01:14:04,441 --> 01:14:07,152
- Now let's get this show on the road!
- Hey!
1055
01:14:10,738 --> 01:14:14,576
Mr. Flavours, may I have a moment
of your time?
1056
01:14:15,660 --> 01:14:17,579
Sure thing.
1057
01:14:17,662 --> 01:14:22,834
We've heard rumours that you're going to
unveil more than just a new series tonight.
1058
01:14:22,917 --> 01:14:25,378
- Is this true?
- Absolutely correct.
1059
01:14:25,462 --> 01:14:28,756
Could you tell us
a little more about it?
1060
01:14:28,840 --> 01:14:31,009
Well, let just say...
1061
01:14:31,092 --> 01:14:35,763
we're planning on putting sanity
back on the national menu.
1062
01:14:35,847 --> 01:14:39,309
And how does local girl
Janet Majors
1063
01:14:39,392 --> 01:14:42,353
fit into the scheme of things?
1064
01:14:46,274 --> 01:14:48,193
Very...
1065
01:14:48,276 --> 01:14:50,236
nicely.
1066
01:14:55,575 --> 01:14:57,577
Brad?
1067
01:14:59,412 --> 01:15:01,498
And he's resented you
all these years.
1068
01:15:01,581 --> 01:15:04,459
- And Janet?
- She represents everything he was denied.
1069
01:15:04,542 --> 01:15:06,461
Oh.
1070
01:15:06,586 --> 01:15:12,342
'By satellite, Farley Flavours' Faith Factory.'
1071
01:15:12,467 --> 01:15:14,802
Ladies and gentlemen...
1072
01:15:14,886 --> 01:15:17,889
Denton's own,
America's pride...
1073
01:15:18,014 --> 01:15:20,350
the world's example...
1074
01:15:20,475 --> 01:15:23,186
Janet, the sensation
of the planet.
1075
01:15:23,311 --> 01:15:28,733
We bring you
Miss Mental Health.
1076
01:15:38,243 --> 01:15:40,787
Isn't she lovely?
1077
01:15:42,080 --> 01:15:44,624
Mommy and Daddy
love you, baby!
1078
01:15:44,749 --> 01:15:48,336
- She walks in beauty.
- That's my little girl!
1079
01:15:54,926 --> 01:15:57,178
'Attagirl, Janet!'
1080
01:15:57,262 --> 01:15:59,889
'We love you, baby!'
1081
01:16:04,435 --> 01:16:06,479
'We all love Janet.'
1082
01:16:06,604 --> 01:16:09,315
- Who do we love?
- 'Janet!'
1083
01:16:09,440 --> 01:16:12,151
Janet!
1084
01:16:12,235 --> 01:16:16,114
The dress Janet's wearing has been given
by Crème de la Crème Modes of downtown Denton,
1085
01:16:16,197 --> 01:16:20,493
and we've been asked that you take note of
the individual styling and exquisite tailoring.
1086
01:16:20,618 --> 01:16:24,330
This is just one of the many
gifts so freely and generously given to Janet.
1087
01:16:24,414 --> 01:16:28,918
The first of, we hope, many.
Miss Mental Health.
1088
01:16:36,217 --> 01:16:39,429
Ladies and gentlemen,
the president.
1089
01:16:39,554 --> 01:16:41,723
The president's here!
1090
01:16:41,806 --> 01:16:43,766
Zoom in there.
1091
01:16:54,694 --> 01:17:00,241
Hi, I'm Irwin Lapsey,
president of Lapsey Autos.
1092
01:17:01,659 --> 01:17:05,163
And I'm holding
in my hand here some keys.
1093
01:17:05,246 --> 01:17:09,876
Keys which I would like to give to the little lady
who's being so honoured here tonight.
1094
01:17:11,085 --> 01:17:13,755
And I want to tell you.
If she takes these keys
1095
01:17:13,838 --> 01:17:16,215
she will find that
they fit something.
1096
01:17:19,218 --> 01:17:23,306
And what that something is,
is an almost brand-new
1097
01:17:23,431 --> 01:17:27,644
ultra-deluxe,
eight-cylinder convertible,
1098
01:17:27,727 --> 01:17:32,190
complete with radio, tape deck,
washable seat covers and many, many extras.
1099
01:17:32,315 --> 01:17:35,652
And it's all hers
for absolutely free.
1100
01:17:49,499 --> 01:17:51,542
Well...
1101
01:17:51,626 --> 01:17:55,171
Janet's absolutely speechless,
ladies and gentlemen.
1102
01:17:57,382 --> 01:17:59,550
But here's someone
we do want to hear from.
1103
01:17:59,676 --> 01:18:02,637
A firm favourite
of yours and mine.
1104
01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:04,972
You've revelled in his recipes.
1105
01:18:05,056 --> 01:18:07,350
You've marvelled at
his marriage guidance.
1106
01:18:07,475 --> 01:18:11,813
The all-knowing,
and now, all-seeing...
1107
01:18:11,938 --> 01:18:14,357
That's right!
1108
01:18:14,482 --> 01:18:18,528
Bert Schnick!
1109
01:18:27,870 --> 01:18:31,999
There. Down there. Come on, Betty.
1110
01:18:35,253 --> 01:18:37,588
Bert, you're beautiful!
1111
01:18:38,798 --> 01:18:41,467
- Hoopla, Denton!
- Hoopla, Bert!
1112
01:18:41,592 --> 01:18:45,388
- Thank you. Welcome.
- What's cooking, Bert?
1113
01:18:45,471 --> 01:18:49,684
I'll tell you what's cooking,
buddy, and I'll tell you too, you guys.
1114
01:18:49,767 --> 01:18:54,063
She made the blind see,
and it was a gift.
1115
01:18:54,188 --> 01:18:57,275
Who was the gift from?
1116
01:18:57,358 --> 01:19:01,028
- Let's hear an "F" for...
- Farley!
1117
01:19:01,154 --> 01:19:05,199
- And another "F" for...
- Flavours!
1118
01:19:29,056 --> 01:19:31,058
My friends!
1119
01:19:32,393 --> 01:19:36,355
And you are all my friends.
1120
01:19:36,439 --> 01:19:42,278
My friends, tonight we are taking
the first step of defiance
1121
01:19:42,361 --> 01:19:47,074
and starting something
that will grow so big
1122
01:19:47,158 --> 01:19:50,620
that the whole world will
reverberate with its sound.
1123
01:19:50,745 --> 01:19:54,749
And wherever our slogan
1124
01:19:54,874 --> 01:19:58,336
"sanity and vanity"
1125
01:19:58,419 --> 01:20:00,755
is uttered,
1126
01:20:00,838 --> 01:20:05,051
it will be linked
incontrovertibly with this night,
1127
01:20:05,134 --> 01:20:07,929
this station,
1128
01:20:08,012 --> 01:20:13,601
and this...
beautiful face.
1129
01:20:17,855 --> 01:20:20,066
Huh? Come on!
This way!
1130
01:20:29,909 --> 01:20:33,371
It's a crazy man!
1131
01:20:35,206 --> 01:20:38,543
- Seducer!
- And who are you, sir?
1132
01:20:38,668 --> 01:20:42,505
- Your twin brother and your accuser!
- Brad.
1133
01:20:42,630 --> 01:20:45,550
Arrest that man!
He's committed to our care.
1134
01:20:46,843 --> 01:20:49,136
I never signed your contract.
1135
01:20:49,262 --> 01:20:52,306
He's not going anywhere.
1136
01:20:52,431 --> 01:20:55,268
To revenge your twin,
you tried to abuse her.
1137
01:20:55,393 --> 01:20:57,395
A ridiculous accusation!
1138
01:20:57,478 --> 01:20:59,939
You force me to refuse her.
1139
01:21:02,483 --> 01:21:07,738
- Then why did you choose her?
- Because of you, sir.
1140
01:21:07,864 --> 01:21:10,741
♪ You're a loser
1141
01:21:10,825 --> 01:21:16,414
♪ An abomination in the eyes
of any sensitive man
1142
01:21:16,497 --> 01:21:20,209
♪ And you're
a blind-alley cruiser
1143
01:21:20,293 --> 01:21:23,421
♪ Always headin'
down a losin' straight
1144
01:21:23,504 --> 01:21:26,048
♪ Dreamin' that you're
screamin' at fate
1145
01:21:26,132 --> 01:21:29,302
♪ You're a dead-end deadbeat
nowhere mister
1146
01:21:29,385 --> 01:21:32,346
♪ With a kisser like
a Mississippi alligator sister
1147
01:21:32,430 --> 01:21:37,184
♪ I've took as much of you
as any man can
1148
01:21:37,268 --> 01:21:40,479
- ♪ You've lost your heart
- ♪ You've lost your cause
1149
01:21:40,605 --> 01:21:43,357
♪ You lost your baby
when you lost your balls
1150
01:21:43,482 --> 01:21:46,027
♪ You've lost your mind
You've lost your grip
1151
01:21:46,152 --> 01:21:49,238
♪ So say bye-bye
1152
01:21:49,363 --> 01:21:52,283
♪ We lost our mom
We lost our dad
1153
01:21:52,366 --> 01:21:56,078
♪ And if I'm losin' you
Well, that's too bad
1154
01:21:56,203 --> 01:21:59,081
♪ Well, the best thing you
could ever do
1155
01:21:59,165 --> 01:22:01,250
♪ Is die
1156
01:22:01,375 --> 01:22:04,128
♪ You're a failure
1157
01:22:04,253 --> 01:22:07,381
♪ A malformation
in the guise of many
1158
01:22:07,506 --> 01:22:09,926
♪ An also-ran
1159
01:22:10,051 --> 01:22:13,596
♪ And you're a weeper
and a wailer
1160
01:22:13,721 --> 01:22:15,932
♪ Always treadin'
on the toes of the great
1161
01:22:17,308 --> 01:22:19,810
♪ Generally spreading
your weight
1162
01:22:19,936 --> 01:22:22,813
♪ You're a spiteful, hateful
asinine creature
1163
01:22:22,939 --> 01:22:25,733
♪ A pupil with no scruples who
knew better than the teacher
1164
01:22:25,858 --> 01:22:30,947
♪ I've took as much of you
as any man can
1165
01:22:31,072 --> 01:22:34,200
- ♪ You've lost your heart
- ♪ You've lost your cause
1166
01:22:34,325 --> 01:22:37,370
♪ You lost your baby
when you lost your balls
1167
01:22:37,495 --> 01:22:40,414
♪ You lost your mind
when you lost your grip
1168
01:22:40,498 --> 01:22:42,708
♪ So say bye-bye
1169
01:22:42,833 --> 01:22:46,003
♪ We lost our home
Our family
1170
01:22:46,128 --> 01:22:49,632
♪ You've lost compassion
Now you're losin' me
1171
01:22:49,757 --> 01:22:52,843
♪ Well, the best thing
you could ever do
1172
01:22:52,969 --> 01:22:55,554
♪ Is die
1173
01:22:55,680 --> 01:23:00,893
♪ Well, the best thing
you could ever do is die
1174
01:23:01,018 --> 01:23:06,065
♪ Well, the best thing you
could ever do is die ♪
1175
01:23:06,190 --> 01:23:08,985
Take no notice of him.
He's mad.
1176
01:23:11,404 --> 01:23:14,198
I'm as sane as you are.
1177
01:23:14,323 --> 01:23:17,451
- Saner!
- And he was only with us for one day.
1178
01:23:21,414 --> 01:23:24,875
They should be sent
to the Danube at dawn.
1179
01:23:24,959 --> 01:23:26,877
What?
1180
01:23:26,961 --> 01:23:28,963
Just memories.
1181
01:23:33,843 --> 01:23:36,804
We'll edit the tapes.
It'll never see airplay.
1182
01:23:36,887 --> 01:23:38,889
Um, I hope Mr. Flavours
will accept apologies
1183
01:23:38,973 --> 01:23:41,851
on behalf of all of Denton
for this unfortunate incident.
1184
01:23:41,934 --> 01:23:44,228
It seems everyone wants
to be related to the great.
1185
01:23:44,353 --> 01:23:47,356
Damn right!
1186
01:23:47,481 --> 01:23:49,358
No offence. No offence.
1187
01:23:49,442 --> 01:23:53,195
On the contrary, this is a perfect example
of what we're here to combat.
1188
01:24:07,668 --> 01:24:12,214
Out! Out!
Out! Out!
1189
01:24:12,339 --> 01:24:15,301
Out! Out! Out!
1190
01:24:15,426 --> 01:24:17,887
Out! Out! Out!
1191
01:24:18,012 --> 01:24:20,806
Out! Out! Out!
1192
01:24:20,931 --> 01:24:24,685
Out! Out! Out!
1193
01:24:24,810 --> 01:24:27,938
Out! Out! Out!
1194
01:24:28,022 --> 01:24:33,152
Out! Out! Out!
Out! Out! Out!
1195
01:24:33,277 --> 01:24:35,780
Out! Out! Out!
1196
01:24:35,905 --> 01:24:39,784
Do you see? You see, the way we got rid
of that dirty little dish
1197
01:24:39,867 --> 01:24:43,412
is the way we're going to put
the rest of our house in order,
1198
01:24:43,537 --> 01:24:45,664
including the upstairs!
1199
01:24:51,045 --> 01:24:53,547
Ah, yes, yes.
Miss. You, yes.
1200
01:24:53,672 --> 01:24:55,633
Would you come up
and help us to inaugurate...
1201
01:24:55,758 --> 01:24:59,804
Farley Flavours' Faith Factory, transmitting
from coast to coast and continent to continent?
1202
01:24:59,887 --> 01:25:02,973
- You are Miss... Miss...
- Macy. Macy Struthers.
1203
01:25:03,057 --> 01:25:06,685
Macy Struthers!
1204
01:25:10,856 --> 01:25:12,817
Who loves you, baby?
1205
01:25:16,070 --> 01:25:18,656
She let me down.
1206
01:25:22,034 --> 01:25:24,161
She let us all down!
1207
01:25:24,245 --> 01:25:27,832
Shut up, Emily,
and listen to a success story.
1208
01:25:33,754 --> 01:25:36,173
This could be worse
than the old series.
1209
01:25:36,257 --> 01:25:39,051
In the old series,
we never had a convertible.
1210
01:25:42,221 --> 01:25:45,015
And remember,
sanity today
1211
01:25:46,475 --> 01:25:50,521
is a springboard to
the hygienic tomorrow.
1212
01:26:00,865 --> 01:26:04,451
Now will you follow me
1213
01:26:04,535 --> 01:26:08,038
down the DTV trail
to Dentonvale?
1214
01:26:13,002 --> 01:26:16,463
Thanks, honey. They bought it.
Now out of the way. That's right!
1215
01:26:16,589 --> 01:26:18,382
I can't stand it.
1216
01:26:18,465 --> 01:26:21,093
Everything good always
happens to other people.
1217
01:26:38,944 --> 01:26:43,782
And fast-food giant, Farley Flavours
has just given Miss Mental Health
1218
01:26:43,866 --> 01:26:47,828
what can only be described as
an official kiss of approval.
1219
01:26:47,912 --> 01:26:49,955
And the crowd
are loving it
1220
01:26:50,080 --> 01:26:53,000
as they follow her down
the Dentonvale trail.
1221
01:26:53,083 --> 01:26:55,127
Hey, look!
They're havin' a party.
1222
01:27:02,593 --> 01:27:05,596
Come on, you guys.
We're gonna miss out on the action.
1223
01:27:05,721 --> 01:27:08,307
'Hurry! Get in there!'
1224
01:27:16,815 --> 01:27:19,526
♪ Some people do it
for compassion
1225
01:27:20,903 --> 01:27:25,032
♪ Some people do it
for the fashion
1226
01:27:25,115 --> 01:27:29,119
♪ Some people
do it to be funny
1227
01:27:29,203 --> 01:27:33,123
♪ Some people
do it for the money
1228
01:27:33,207 --> 01:27:36,961
♪ Some people do it
for enslavement
1229
01:27:37,044 --> 01:27:41,507
- ♪ Some people do it on the pavement
- ♪ But
1230
01:27:41,632 --> 01:27:44,343
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1231
01:27:44,426 --> 01:27:47,471
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1232
01:27:47,554 --> 01:27:52,768
♪ We're gonna do it
no matter how the wind is blowing
1233
01:27:52,851 --> 01:27:55,562
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1234
01:27:55,646 --> 01:27:58,440
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1235
01:27:58,524 --> 01:28:02,695
♪ We're gonna do it
We just gotta keep going
1236
01:28:02,778 --> 01:28:05,489
♪ Some people do it
for each other
1237
01:28:05,572 --> 01:28:08,450
♪ Some people do it
for their lover
1238
01:28:08,575 --> 01:28:10,995
♪ Some people do it
for improvement
1239
01:28:11,120 --> 01:28:13,539
♪ Some people do it
for the movement
1240
01:28:13,664 --> 01:28:16,875
♪ Some people do it
for enjoyment
1241
01:28:17,001 --> 01:28:18,961
♪ Some people do it
for employment
1242
01:28:19,086 --> 01:28:20,921
♪ But
1243
01:28:21,005 --> 01:28:23,674
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1244
01:28:23,757 --> 01:28:26,468
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1245
01:28:26,552 --> 01:28:32,057
♪ We're gonna do it
no matter how the wind is blowing
1246
01:28:32,141 --> 01:28:34,893
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1247
01:28:34,977 --> 01:28:38,022
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1248
01:28:38,105 --> 01:28:42,860
♪ We're gonna do it
We just gotta keep going
1249
01:28:44,987 --> 01:28:47,614
♪ Denton, Denton
You've got
1250
01:28:47,740 --> 01:28:50,075
♪ No pretension
1251
01:28:50,159 --> 01:28:55,664
♪ You're where the heart is
You're okay
1252
01:28:55,748 --> 01:28:58,542
♪ Denton, Denton
You've got
1253
01:28:58,667 --> 01:29:01,003
♪ No pretension
1254
01:29:01,086 --> 01:29:04,340
♪ You're the acceptable face
1255
01:29:04,423 --> 01:29:06,592
♪ Of the human race
1256
01:29:06,675 --> 01:29:11,221
♪ You're Denton
Denton, U.S.A.
1257
01:29:12,473 --> 01:29:15,142
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1258
01:29:15,225 --> 01:29:18,228
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1259
01:29:18,312 --> 01:29:22,900
♪ We're gonna do it
no matter how the wind is blowing
1260
01:29:22,983 --> 01:29:26,278
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow, anyhow
1261
01:29:26,362 --> 01:29:29,365
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1262
01:29:29,448 --> 01:29:33,702
♪ We're gonna do it
We just gotta keep going
1263
01:29:33,786 --> 01:29:36,372
♪ We just gotta
keep going
1264
01:29:36,455 --> 01:29:39,750
♪ We just gotta
keep going
1265
01:29:44,922 --> 01:29:48,550
'The sun never sets
on those who ride into it.
1266
01:29:48,634 --> 01:29:51,220
♪ We just gotta keep going ♪
1267
01:32:20,536 --> 01:32:24,248
♪ I'm not a locum with motive
to suture myself
1268
01:32:24,373 --> 01:32:27,626
♪ I've been a cynic
for too many years
1269
01:32:27,709 --> 01:32:31,547
♪ Playin' doctor and nurse
It can be good for your health
1270
01:32:31,672 --> 01:32:37,135
♪ I've seen clinics with
those gimmicks in Tangiers
1271
01:32:38,595 --> 01:32:43,267
♪ But if you open your heart
to a smooth operator
1272
01:32:43,392 --> 01:32:46,144
♪ He'll take you
for all that you've got
1273
01:32:46,228 --> 01:32:50,023
♪ He'll hand you a curse
that'll be with you later
1274
01:32:50,107 --> 01:32:55,862
♪ It'll shake you the way
he takes off like a shot
1275
01:32:55,946 --> 01:32:59,908
♪ You need a bit of
ooh, shock treatment
1276
01:32:59,992 --> 01:33:02,786
♪ Get you jumpin'
like a real live wire
1277
01:33:02,869 --> 01:33:06,999
♪ You need a bit of
ooh, shock treatment
1278
01:33:07,082 --> 01:33:10,085
♪ So look out, mister
Don't you blow your last resistor
1279
01:33:10,168 --> 01:33:13,463
♪ For a vista
that'll mystify ya
1280
01:33:15,465 --> 01:33:19,428
♪ You're blinded by romance
You're blinded by science
1281
01:33:19,511 --> 01:33:22,681
♪ Your condition
is critically grave
1282
01:33:22,764 --> 01:33:26,977
♪ But don't expect mercy
from such an alliance
1283
01:33:27,060 --> 01:33:32,774
♪ Suspicion of tradition's
so new wave
1284
01:33:32,858 --> 01:33:36,653
♪ You need a bit of
ooh, shock treatment
1285
01:33:36,737 --> 01:33:39,573
♪ Gets you jumping
like a real live wire
1286
01:33:39,656 --> 01:33:43,744
♪ You need a bit of
ooh, shock treatment
1287
01:33:43,827 --> 01:33:46,913
♪ So look out, mister
Don't you blow your last resistor
1288
01:33:46,997 --> 01:33:49,499
♪ For a sister that'll certify you ♪
94630
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
