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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:40,958 'Once upon a time, in a town not far from yours, 2 00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:44,003 'there lived a real fast guy. 3 00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:48,007 'His life was fast. His friends were fast. 4 00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:51,302 'Even his food was fast. 5 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:54,555 'But he was still not satisfied. 6 00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:57,224 'He wanted to share his fast philosophy 7 00:00:57,308 --> 00:01:00,019 'with someone else: 8 00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:02,563 'a beautiful girl. 9 00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:06,484 'The trouble was she was in the arms of 10 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,861 'another man.' 11 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,781 Whoops! 12 00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:21,892 Good luck, honey. 13 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,256 - What are we gonna do, Janet? - It's all right, Brad. 14 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,717 Everything's gonna be all right. 15 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,718 ♪ You'll find happy hearts 16 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:40,387 ♪ And smiling faces 17 00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:43,140 ♪ And tolerance for 18 00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:45,976 ♪ The ethnic races 19 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:48,520 ♪ In Denton 20 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:54,151 ♪ You'll find a ramblin' rose 21 00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:56,904 ♪ And a picket fence 22 00:03:57,029 --> 00:03:58,906 ♪ Tenderness 23 00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:02,243 ♪ And innocence 24 00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:04,536 ♪ In Denton 25 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:09,208 ♪ You'll find conference rooms 26 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:12,169 ♪ And a children's playground 27 00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:16,257 ♪ Denton is a real okay town 28 00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:20,094 ♪ Civic pride and civic duty 29 00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:22,805 ♪ And Denton girls are 30 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:28,727 ♪ Full of beauty 31 00:04:28,811 --> 00:04:32,064 ♪ You may call us the goody-goody two shoes 32 00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:35,776 ♪ We're here to cheer you with the good news 33 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,654 ♪ That D-E-N-T-O-N 34 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:41,448 ♪ Gets T-E-N That's ten out of ten 35 00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:44,493 ♪ If you're looking for a life of leisure 36 00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:47,246 ♪ You're gonna get a whole lot to please ya 37 00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,790 - ♪ Again and again - ♪ And again and again 38 00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:52,084 ♪ And again 39 00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:55,337 ♪ Denton, Denton 40 00:04:55,421 --> 00:04:58,382 ♪ You've got no pretension 41 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:04,054 ♪ You're where the heart is You're okay 42 00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:06,473 ♪ Denton, Denton 43 00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:09,643 ♪ I'd just like to mention 44 00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:12,521 ♪ You're the home of youth 45 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:15,232 ♪ You're America's truth 46 00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:20,446 ♪ You're Denton Denton, U.S.A. 47 00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:22,906 ♪ This is the mecca of America 48 00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:25,659 ♪ The Bethlehem of the West 49 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:28,704 ♪ This is the birthplace of the virtuous 50 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,206 ♪ The home of happiness 51 00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:35,669 ♪ Leisure-wise we're sure you will adapt 52 00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:38,255 ♪ Enjoy your stay Have a happy holiday 53 00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:44,303 ♪ And we'll all put Denton Denton on the map 54 00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:46,305 ♪ Denton, Denton 55 00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:49,391 ♪ You've got no pretension 56 00:05:49,475 --> 00:05:54,480 ♪ You're where the heart is You're okay 57 00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:57,608 ♪ Denton, Denton 58 00:05:57,733 --> 00:06:00,736 ♪ I'd just like to mention 59 00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:03,781 ♪ You're the home of youth 60 00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:06,700 ♪ You're America's truth 61 00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:11,330 ♪ You're Denton Denton, U.S.A. 62 00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:14,708 ♪ Denton, Denton 63 00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:17,795 ♪ You've got no pretension 64 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:23,634 ♪ You're where the heart is You're okay 65 00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:26,095 ♪ Denton, Denton 66 00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:29,306 ♪ I'd just like to mention 67 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:33,060 ♪ You're the acceptable face 68 00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:35,270 ♪ Of the human race 69 00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:41,652 ♪ You're Denton Denton, U.S.A. ♪ 70 00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:44,530 Well, how about that? 71 00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,907 Wasn't that terrific? 72 00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:49,076 And now for, well, certainly... 73 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,829 my favourite part of the show... 74 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:55,332 - and I sincerely hope yours at home. - Get the whole crowd. 75 00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:57,709 - Our regular in-depth discussion... - Dressing room. Right here. 76 00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:00,212 ...with Judge Oliver Wright, 77 00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:05,175 Denton's leading social scientist. 78 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,136 - Judge Wright? - Mm-hmm. 79 00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:10,931 Did you enjoy our anthem? 80 00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:13,183 In a way. 81 00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,936 I detect a note of reticence. 82 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:18,313 Are you perhaps one of those amongst us... 83 00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:23,777 who feel this emotive form of presentation is overly manipulative? 84 00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:26,488 Well, Betty, there are many ways 85 00:07:26,572 --> 00:07:29,616 that the spider may catch the fly. 86 00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,952 There are monetary inducements. 87 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:35,581 - Hi, Brad. Hi, Janet. Come for Marriage Maze? - 'Extortion.' 88 00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:37,124 Seduction. 89 00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:40,878 I'm exhausted working on this documentary for Farley's new show. 90 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,254 - Hmm? - 'Blackmail.' 91 00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:44,631 - Farley Flavours, our new sponsor. - Oh. 92 00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,717 - Whoo. - 'Prejudice.' 93 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,095 I tell you, Janet, that guy's as close as we'll come 94 00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:52,473 to a successful man in this town. 95 00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:56,435 - 'And lies.' - 'Thank you, Judge Oliver Wright.' 96 00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:00,439 And now for a commercial break. 97 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:07,488 Okay, kids, let's hear the five F's for today. 98 00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:09,573 - "F" for... - Farley! 99 00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:11,742 - "F" for... - Flavours! 100 00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:13,660 - "F" for... - Fabulous! 101 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,412 - "F" for... - Fast! 102 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,247 - And "F" for... - Five! 103 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,755 'First and foremost, 104 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,840 'Farley Flavours' fabulous fast foods 105 00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:31,136 'feed and fortify families for a fabulous future.' 106 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:34,097 'Stand by for Marriage Maze. Strike Denton Dossier.' 107 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:37,726 Thank you so much, Judge Wright, for another wonderful interview. 108 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:41,813 Judge Wright? Oh, come on, Betty. First names surely. 109 00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:45,484 Oh. Oliver. You're so tolerant. 110 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,986 Time for a coffee break before you rush off? 111 00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:52,574 I'd love to, that is if you don't mind being seen with an older man. 112 00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:54,701 Why, Oliver. 113 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:59,373 Since Ralph and I separated, maturity is something I look for in a man. 114 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,919 - Hi, Ollie. - Hi, Betty. 115 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,171 - Hi, Betty. - Hello, Neely. 116 00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:08,298 You keep up that high standard of interview 117 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:11,426 and I'm gonna have to include you in Farley's documentary. 118 00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:14,721 You're so probing. 119 00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:16,723 A free thinker. 120 00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:19,017 Everything's free there. 121 00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:24,439 - Hi, Betty. The usual? - Plus one. 122 00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:27,901 There you go. Hi, Max. Hey, you gonna be watching Marriage Maze? 123 00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:31,697 - Sure am. This could be Bert Schnick's finest hour. - Yeah. 124 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,740 - Yeah? - Yeah. 125 00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:38,579 - This could be a major step forward for him. - Yeah, a leap in the dark. 126 00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:41,164 I better go check on the Bert. Otherwise... 127 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,417 - Right. - Good luck. 128 00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:45,586 Okay. 129 00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:48,005 'And here to bring your just desserts 130 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,340 'and a recipe for a perfect marriage 131 00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,676 'is that gorgeous gourmet, 132 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,012 'tossing the uproarious salad of life, 133 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:58,515 'Marriage Maze host, Bert Schnick.' 134 00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,559 'Three seconds.' 135 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:14,573 - Hoopla, Denton! - Hoopla, Bert! 136 00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:24,541 Thank you. Welcome. Thank you. 137 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:28,795 Before we start I want to say one or two words about tomorrow night's great new show... 138 00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:30,839 The Faith Factory Sh... 139 00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:36,094 And as a matter of fact, we have in the studio audience tonight 140 00:10:36,178 --> 00:10:38,430 the host and his lovely cohost. 141 00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:41,725 Give a big hand, please, to Ralph Hapschatt 142 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,936 and the vivacious Macy Struthers. 143 00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:46,813 Hey, Ralph! 144 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:53,779 Let's get a camera in there, for heaven's sake. 145 00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:58,241 - Over the moon about that commercial, Macy. - Thanks, Bert. 146 00:10:58,367 --> 00:11:01,244 Got a good show lined up for us tomorrow night, Ralph? 147 00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:03,497 You bet, Bert! 148 00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:08,460 Good! I'm gonna be there! Ain't we all, viewers? 149 00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:12,172 'Macy Struthers with my husband. God, I must've been blind.' 150 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:16,510 Still, the weaker the man, the dumber the blonde. 151 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:20,013 Isn't that Brad and Janet Majors sitting in the audience there? 152 00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,307 'What an ideal couple they are. 153 00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:25,977 'You know, more than anyone else in Denton, they represent the old values.' 154 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:28,397 Ike would have been proud of them. 155 00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:33,360 And now, would the first couple who seem to have made a hash of their marriage 156 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:37,656 and cooked their goose, step this way, please! 157 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:41,034 - You! - That's us, Brad. 158 00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:44,830 Come on. What's cooking up there? Come on down, you guys. 159 00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:47,249 Let's feel you. 160 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:51,461 - I'm not going, Janet. - You've got to. Everyone's watching. 161 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:07,144 Face the cameras. Face the cameras. 162 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,146 Now introduce yourselves. 163 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:12,315 - My name is Brad... - I'm Janet... Oh. Sorry. 164 00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:16,445 I'm Janet Majors, and this is my husband Brad. 165 00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:21,199 Hey, Brad, we've been hearing some bad things about you. Haven't we, Janet? 166 00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:27,497 - Haven't we, Janet? - Uh, yes, he needs help. 167 00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:30,625 Help? Let's face it, Janet. 168 00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:33,086 Brad's an emotional cripple. 169 00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:40,343 'I know, I know.' 170 00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:44,598 It looks like Rest Home for this stupid old marriage, eh? 171 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,482 Tell me, Janet. 'Do you watch Dentonvale? 172 00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:57,194 Uh, yes, I've caught it once or twice. 173 00:12:57,319 --> 00:13:00,238 That's right. DTV's most popular hospital series 174 00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:03,074 featuring those perennial favourites, Nation and Cosmo McKinley. 175 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,869 Neuro-specialists par excellence. 176 00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:08,079 I recommend, if you pardon my French, Janet, 177 00:13:08,205 --> 00:13:11,374 that you send Brad to them for treatment. 178 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:16,588 Oh, uh, well, I know he's a little boring, but neuro-specialists? 179 00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:22,344 - That sounds a little drastic. - It's no use pussyfooting around, Janet. 180 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,721 We have to cut quick and deep. 181 00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:31,520 McKinley? McKinley? 182 00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:33,647 - Bert brought them over from Europe. - Oh? 183 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:37,317 They had a very popular series together. It's still rerun in a lot of countries. 184 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:41,947 - You must have seen them in Dentonvale? - No, I never watch that. 185 00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:45,867 I'm afraid there's only one solution. Isn't there, folks? 186 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,745 One, two, three. 187 00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:51,414 Dentonvale! 188 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,751 Hoopla! Don't go away! 189 00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:58,630 We'll be right back to see if Brad and Janet want to play or pass. 190 00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,559 Great. 191 00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:13,979 Congratulations. I think you've made a wise decision. 192 00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:16,773 - But... But I... - Janet? 193 00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:19,693 - I'm not going. - What do you mean, you're not going? 194 00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:22,153 You'll ruin the show. Bert's made all the arrangements. 195 00:14:22,279 --> 00:14:24,614 But I don't need treatment. 196 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:28,910 'But you do need glasses, eh, stupid?' 197 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,454 Doesn't he? 198 00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:44,593 I am sick of being humiliated by you! Bert's right. You're going. 199 00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:48,555 'It looks like Brad and Janet Majors have a big decision to make. 200 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,224 'Here's some more prizes to amaze here on Marriage Maze.' 201 00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:54,769 - ♪ Dear blender - You won't blend into the background... 202 00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:57,981 ♪ Won't you help a first offender 203 00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:02,235 - ♪ Oh, toaster... - 'Pop up in the popularity ratings...' 204 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,821 ♪ Don't you put the burn on me 205 00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:09,534 - 'Just look at this.' - ♪ Refrigerator 206 00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:13,204 ♪ Why are we always sooner or later 207 00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:17,792 ♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night 208 00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:20,378 'Living on a knife edge?' 209 00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:23,298 - ♪ Dear knife drawer - 'Stay sharp with this keen knife.' 210 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,509 ♪ Now won't you help me to face life more 211 00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:30,555 - ♪ Oh, trash can - You can-can with the trash can. 212 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:34,476 ♪ Don't you put the dirt on me 213 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:37,604 ♪ Oh, percolator 214 00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:41,483 - ♪ Why are we always sooner or later - 'No toil, no trouble.' 215 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:48,615 ♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night 216 00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:51,826 ♪ Everything used to be okay 217 00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,912 ♪ But I've been had 218 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:56,373 ♪ And, Brad I'm glad to say 219 00:15:56,456 --> 00:16:00,835 ♪ Is on his way 220 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:04,047 ♪ Micro-digital awaker 221 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:07,842 ♪ Why are we always sooner or later 222 00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:13,515 ♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night 223 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:17,018 - ♪ Shower curtain - 'Wash those blues away...' 224 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:21,189 ♪ Won't you help me to be certain 225 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:25,193 - ♪ Oh, toothpaste - 'Arm yourself to the teeth...' 226 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:28,947 ♪ Don't you put the squeeze on me 227 00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:32,242 ♪ Depilatator 228 00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:35,829 ♪ Why are we always sooner or later 229 00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:40,583 ♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night 230 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:46,715 'Now it's back to Marriage Maze. And for those of you who are Dentonvale watchers, 231 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,633 'here's our surprise guest. 232 00:16:48,717 --> 00:16:52,429 - 'And here's Bert!' - Hey, folks! It's Ricky from the Rest Home. 233 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,514 - Hey, Bert. - Hey, Ricky. 234 00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,766 I've come for Mr. Majors. 235 00:16:56,891 --> 00:17:01,604 Brad will learn how to care in the surgical chair. 236 00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:08,945 - Nothing serious, I hope? - Oh, no. Just a routine checkup. 237 00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:13,116 Just a routine checkup, eh, viewers? 238 00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:18,663 'Come in.' 239 00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:21,416 ♪ Tell me, spectator 240 00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:25,128 ♪ Why are we always sooner or later 241 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:30,508 ♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night ♪ 242 00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:38,308 'Well, Bert's done it again. 243 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,061 'Another rocky marriage is headed for intensive care.' 244 00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:43,605 The subject is committed. 245 00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,318 As are we all. 246 00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:51,654 'Dentonvale. 247 00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:55,408 'The arrival. Introducing Brad and Janet Majors.' 248 00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:59,412 Ah, Mr. And Mrs. Majors. How wonderful to see you. 249 00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,873 I'm Doctor Cosmo McKinley, 250 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:04,876 and this is my sister and colleague, 251 00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:07,879 Dr. Nation McKinley. 252 00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:11,549 We understand you've been going through a rather trying time. 253 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,635 Well, yes, we have. 254 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,221 Now listen. There's... there's nothing really wrong with me. 255 00:18:16,346 --> 00:18:18,515 Janet and I haven't been getting along too well lately 256 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,810 and I've had a little... a little trouble... 257 00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:27,607 - Oh, Brad. - Ooh. 258 00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:30,527 - Does he do this often? - No, he's never done this before. 259 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,737 Good. Then there's still hope. 260 00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,823 Lots and lots of hope. 261 00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:37,242 If anyone can help Brad, we can. 262 00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:40,203 - Well, he does need help. - Nurse Ansalong, you've arrived. 263 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:44,707 - Oh, that was real short notice because the other models... - Attend to Mr. Majors, Nurse. 264 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:48,461 There are just one or two formalities that have to be dealt with, Mrs. Majors. 265 00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:51,464 A contract to be signed. 266 00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:53,675 Oh, could I do that later, please? 267 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:56,010 Of course you can, Mrs. Majors. 268 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,642 Sign the contract tomorrow. 269 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:06,855 Ouch! Mrs. Majors. Just one or two details. 270 00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:11,151 Does Brad have any living relatives... any blood relatives? 271 00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:15,446 - No, he doesn't. Could I take care of this later? - Of course. 272 00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:19,993 Why did you tell me not to sign now? 273 00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:24,539 Well, that way you get the first day free. 274 00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:34,716 'Here's Bert, that eternal showbiz wiz, 275 00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:39,012 'with a family connection in the 30-Second Quiz.' 276 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:42,682 As Janet's parents, this should be really easy. 277 00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:45,059 About Brad's family? 278 00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:47,854 Your last clue is... 279 00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:50,940 mental instability. 280 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:54,027 You have 30 seconds. 281 00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:57,322 Mental instability? 282 00:19:57,447 --> 00:20:01,367 - He was adopted, you know. - Oh, yeah. I'd forgotten. 283 00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:04,913 Well, I hadn't. I was worried about inherited craziness when they married. 284 00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:08,666 I said to Janet, "What do we know of his parents?" 285 00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:12,378 - Which leads us to... - 'This afternoon's surprise prize, Bert... 286 00:20:12,462 --> 00:20:17,300 'which is a delirious stay in that evergreen series Happy Homes, 287 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:21,095 - 'with unlimited use of a new dream kitchen.' - Infantile regression? 288 00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:25,016 - You got it! - I got it! 289 00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:28,728 - She got it! She got it! - I got it! 290 00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:30,480 I got it! 291 00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:33,149 She got it! 292 00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:37,487 Congratulations. Congratulations. And it's Happy Homes... 293 00:20:37,612 --> 00:20:40,907 to Harry and Emily Weiss of Denton. 294 00:20:45,203 --> 00:20:47,372 Aha. 295 00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:51,167 I got it! I got it! 296 00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:53,878 She got it! She got it! 297 00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:57,006 In one. Infantile regression. 298 00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:59,717 Our speciality! 299 00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:04,681 - Your speciality. - I can't wait to begin on him. 300 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,975 Really, Bert, I don't know what we'd do without you. 301 00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:09,310 I must confess... 302 00:21:09,394 --> 00:21:13,982 the decision to have Brad committed was not strictly my own. 303 00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:15,984 No, of course. There's Janet. 304 00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:19,779 But if she was so keen on getting him in here, 305 00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,948 why wouldn't she sign the contract? 306 00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:25,368 No, it wasn't Janet exactly. 307 00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:30,290 - It was, in fact, your new sponsor. - Sponsor? 308 00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:34,085 - Dentonvale has been sold. - Sold? 309 00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:36,212 Dear old Bert's settled everything. 310 00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:38,965 Ja, you endorse his Faith Factory... 311 00:21:39,048 --> 00:21:42,844 - and he endorses your research. - He? 312 00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:47,056 How dare this person take advantage of my weakness! 313 00:21:47,181 --> 00:21:51,644 I don't think he intends to go that far. 314 00:22:00,194 --> 00:22:02,113 ♪ If only you knew 315 00:22:02,196 --> 00:22:07,243 ♪ How to win some prizes 316 00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:09,245 ♪ If only you knew 317 00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:13,708 ♪ How to play 318 00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:17,879 ♪ If you could sleep nights 319 00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:20,214 ♪ And stop your crying 320 00:22:20,298 --> 00:22:23,343 ♪ Then you might find out I still love you 321 00:22:23,426 --> 00:22:27,096 ♪ In my own way 322 00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:31,851 ♪ If that's not enough then I'm 323 00:22:31,934 --> 00:22:34,395 ♪ So sorry I met you 324 00:22:34,479 --> 00:22:36,522 ♪ It was almost like 325 00:22:36,606 --> 00:22:42,570 ♪ Leading you on 326 00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:46,032 ♪ But there's more to it all 327 00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:50,703 ♪ Than just wringing your heart out over something 328 00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:56,626 ♪ That keeps on going wrong 329 00:22:56,709 --> 00:23:00,213 ♪ So don't tell me you love me 330 00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:07,136 ♪ How am I supposed to know what that means 331 00:23:07,261 --> 00:23:09,889 ♪ No, don't sell emotion 332 00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:12,141 ♪ You can't buy devotion 333 00:23:12,225 --> 00:23:17,814 ♪ If you're falling apart at the seams 334 00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:21,109 ♪ I hope that you'll smile when you 335 00:23:21,192 --> 00:23:24,654 ♪ Reach your conclusion 336 00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:31,661 ♪ I hope that you'll know just what to say 337 00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:34,997 ♪ But if it should mean 338 00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:37,708 ♪ That the party is over 339 00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:41,671 ♪ You should know that I still love you 340 00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:44,715 ♪ You should know that I still love you 341 00:23:44,799 --> 00:23:49,929 ♪ You should know that I still love you 342 00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:52,181 ♪ In my own way 343 00:23:53,391 --> 00:23:55,852 ♪ In my own way 344 00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:59,522 ♪ In my own way 345 00:24:00,565 --> 00:24:01,983 ♪ In my own way ♪ 346 00:24:03,568 --> 00:24:06,112 - Oh, my poor baby. - Oh, Mom, it's Brad. 347 00:24:06,195 --> 00:24:10,158 I know. I know, baby. He's gonna get all the help he needs. 348 00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:14,203 - But in the meantime, look. For you. - What is it? 349 00:24:14,287 --> 00:24:16,456 They call it a new look at an old favourite. 350 00:24:16,539 --> 00:24:18,875 I copied it from The Window on the World show. 351 00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:21,627 - The Far East meets the Midwest. - Mom... 352 00:24:21,711 --> 00:24:24,130 It's just what the doctor ordered, I know. 353 00:24:24,213 --> 00:24:27,550 - Come on in. My favourite show's just started. - What show? 354 00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:30,470 Dentonvale. 355 00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:45,818 'Love starts in the home, 356 00:24:45,902 --> 00:24:50,031 'and where better to find this than in today's Happy Homes. 357 00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:54,160 'With guest star, Janet Majors.' 358 00:24:54,243 --> 00:24:57,705 'If you're sick of having the goodness boiled away out of your coffee, 359 00:24:57,788 --> 00:25:02,168 'replace that old perk of yours with a coffeemaker of prestigious distinction. 360 00:25:02,251 --> 00:25:06,756 'And be the envy of all with a coffeemaker that says it all.' 361 00:25:06,881 --> 00:25:09,425 'Oh, thanks.' 362 00:25:09,550 --> 00:25:14,347 'When that man of yours comes in from the big outdoors with a burning thirst 363 00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:17,016 'that only Lake Michigan could satisfy, 364 00:25:17,099 --> 00:25:22,980 'make sure there's a cold can of Krautmeister Light in the icebox. 365 00:25:23,064 --> 00:25:25,191 'He'll thank you for it. 366 00:25:25,274 --> 00:25:29,028 'And he'll thank Krautmeister.' 367 00:25:29,111 --> 00:25:32,865 For crying out loud, Emily. Leave her alone. She's not a kid. 368 00:25:32,949 --> 00:25:36,202 - Well, I wanted to see her in it. - It's really very nice. 369 00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:39,080 The material is imported. Taiwanese. 370 00:25:39,163 --> 00:25:41,874 Damn it, Emily. She's not interested. 371 00:25:41,958 --> 00:25:44,126 What are you trying to do, Harry, start an argument? 372 00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:46,128 Don't you want your daughter to look pretty? 373 00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:48,130 Who's she got to look pretty for? 374 00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:50,550 - She's got a husband. - She's got a weirdo! 375 00:25:50,633 --> 00:25:54,804 I've never been able to afford the time to have a nervous breakdown! 376 00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:58,391 - Oh, poor Brad. - Thank God he was born an orphan. 377 00:25:58,474 --> 00:26:01,352 It would have killed his parents. 378 00:26:01,435 --> 00:26:05,022 And thank goodness he hasn't ended up like that Slepstrini boy. 379 00:26:05,106 --> 00:26:09,235 What are you talking about? Danny Slepstrini's a chip off the old block. 380 00:26:09,318 --> 00:26:11,779 I played 18 holes of golf with his father just last week, 381 00:26:11,862 --> 00:26:15,908 and Hank says that Danny's moved to New York to... better himself. 382 00:26:15,992 --> 00:26:18,244 He moved, all right... 383 00:26:18,327 --> 00:26:22,790 when they found him at the back of Wilson's Bakery... naked... 384 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,877 with 15 other men. 385 00:26:27,003 --> 00:26:29,338 Mexicans. 386 00:26:38,431 --> 00:26:42,602 I'm gonna catch up on a few jobs that need doing outside! 387 00:26:45,146 --> 00:26:47,690 - You shouldn't have said that. - But why? 388 00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:50,151 Your father doesn't like Mexicans. 389 00:26:50,276 --> 00:26:52,361 'Your father doesn't like Mexicans.' 390 00:26:59,702 --> 00:27:01,954 ♪ A man should call the toss 391 00:27:02,038 --> 00:27:04,457 ♪ Wear the pants and be the boss 392 00:27:04,540 --> 00:27:06,709 ♪ A man should be the drake 393 00:27:06,792 --> 00:27:09,128 ♪ For his own damned sake 394 00:27:09,211 --> 00:27:11,422 ♪ And men should be the misters 395 00:27:11,505 --> 00:27:13,966 ♪ And the masters of their sisters 396 00:27:14,050 --> 00:27:15,968 ♪ A man should be the reason 397 00:27:16,052 --> 00:27:18,012 ♪ For a heart to break 398 00:27:19,889 --> 00:27:23,225 ♪ So be moral Don't quarrel 399 00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:26,520 ♪ Fair and square is best 400 00:27:26,604 --> 00:27:29,857 ♪ Let me alert you that virtue 401 00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:32,151 ♪ Won't hurt you or desert you 402 00:27:32,234 --> 00:27:36,739 ♪ If you wear hair on your chest 403 00:27:36,864 --> 00:27:41,577 ♪ So always remember to follow the rules 404 00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:44,121 - ♪ Box clever - ♪ Jocks never 405 00:27:44,246 --> 00:27:46,916 ♪ Hock another jock's tools 406 00:27:50,753 --> 00:27:54,423 ♪ A man should wax a car Fix a fuse and tend a bar 407 00:27:54,548 --> 00:27:58,886 ♪ A man should like his brow to be wet with sweat 408 00:27:59,011 --> 00:28:01,347 ♪ And should know the right occasions 409 00:28:01,472 --> 00:28:04,058 ♪ To indulge in tax evasions 410 00:28:04,141 --> 00:28:08,187 ♪ A man should know the settings that his spark plugs get 411 00:28:10,106 --> 00:28:12,149 ♪ Faggots are maggots 412 00:28:12,274 --> 00:28:19,198 ♪ Thank God I'm a man ♪ 413 00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:33,045 What a meal! 414 00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:37,842 Scrumptious, meine Liebling. I insist on the recipe. 415 00:28:37,967 --> 00:28:41,762 Coming from a gourmet, that's praise indeed. But... secrets. 416 00:28:41,887 --> 00:28:44,223 Oh. 417 00:28:44,306 --> 00:28:48,144 With Fast-Food Farley at the helm, it'll probably be TV dinners from now on. 418 00:28:48,269 --> 00:28:53,649 Farley is already a TV winner as we shall see. 419 00:28:55,735 --> 00:28:58,738 Dentonvale will run forever now that his interest 420 00:28:58,863 --> 00:29:01,615 has embraced mental hygiene. 421 00:29:01,741 --> 00:29:03,743 Our field. 422 00:29:03,868 --> 00:29:07,037 I'm convinced there's some kind of conspiracy. 423 00:29:07,163 --> 00:29:09,081 - Conspiracy? - Mm-hmm. 424 00:29:09,165 --> 00:29:11,459 Well, that's a little far-fetched. 425 00:29:11,542 --> 00:29:14,545 Oh, I don't know. Remember Lieutenant Orpheus? 426 00:29:14,670 --> 00:29:17,214 He disappeared into that underworld series and never came back. 427 00:29:17,298 --> 00:29:19,717 Sounds like my husband. He never came back either. 428 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,179 Not after Flavours gave him a commercial break. 429 00:29:23,262 --> 00:29:26,265 Oh, yes, Farley Flavours. You know, I find it remarkable 430 00:29:26,348 --> 00:29:31,187 that his Faith Factory is being financed by an entire nation's indigestion. 431 00:29:32,772 --> 00:29:37,777 Who do you think gave you the next episode? 432 00:29:37,860 --> 00:29:41,113 So that Janet will be free to front line 433 00:29:41,197 --> 00:29:43,199 the new Faith Factory show. 434 00:29:43,324 --> 00:29:46,285 - We're the experts. - Who trusts experts? 435 00:29:46,410 --> 00:29:48,412 Why Janet? 436 00:29:48,496 --> 00:29:52,458 Everyone loves the girl next door. 437 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,879 Particularly Farley. 438 00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:01,634 So it seems. 439 00:30:11,602 --> 00:30:13,938 Come in. 440 00:30:14,021 --> 00:30:16,315 - Oh, hi. - Hi. 441 00:30:16,398 --> 00:30:18,692 - Hi. - I just came to give you this. 442 00:30:18,776 --> 00:30:21,028 - Thank you. - Hi! 443 00:30:21,111 --> 00:30:23,030 - Hi. - Hi. 444 00:30:23,113 --> 00:30:26,575 We'd better get going. Tomorrow's the big one, and Farley expects. 445 00:30:26,700 --> 00:30:28,452 Oh, you bet. 446 00:30:28,577 --> 00:30:32,915 - I guess we'd better leave you young things to it. - Good-bye. 447 00:30:32,998 --> 00:30:35,334 - Bye. - Bye. 448 00:30:41,882 --> 00:30:44,343 - Oh, Ralph. - Yeah? 449 00:30:44,426 --> 00:30:48,681 - Shove it! - Oh, you shove it too, Betty! 450 00:30:48,764 --> 00:30:52,476 Alimony is just another word for rape. 451 00:30:56,188 --> 00:30:59,191 Conspiracy is right. 452 00:30:59,275 --> 00:31:02,486 - The Denton Dossier is... - Closed. 453 00:31:06,448 --> 00:31:08,576 'Dentonvale. 454 00:31:08,659 --> 00:31:12,329 'Special guest star, Janet Majors.' 455 00:31:12,454 --> 00:31:15,749 - Janet! - I've come to see Brad. 456 00:31:15,875 --> 00:31:19,545 That's out of the question. He's sleeping like a baby. 457 00:31:19,628 --> 00:31:23,799 - It's you we're concerned about, Janet. - Yes, Janet, how are you? 458 00:31:23,924 --> 00:31:27,928 - Are you happy? - Oh, I'm happy. 459 00:31:28,012 --> 00:31:30,806 There are countless people in this world, Janet, 460 00:31:30,890 --> 00:31:33,559 who believe that they're happy. 461 00:31:33,642 --> 00:31:35,561 But they only think they're happy. 462 00:31:35,686 --> 00:31:38,856 Oh, well, that doesn't make any sense. 463 00:31:42,026 --> 00:31:45,112 This might, Janet. 464 00:31:47,531 --> 00:31:52,077 And a big Denton welcome to my new delegation. 465 00:31:52,161 --> 00:31:56,957 This is Farley and I'm here with the score. 466 00:31:57,082 --> 00:32:00,711 We're going to package and sell some mental health to the nation, 467 00:32:00,794 --> 00:32:04,298 with my dream of the girl next door. 468 00:32:06,592 --> 00:32:10,220 ♪ Oh, why aren't they doing tomorrow's new dance steps 469 00:32:10,304 --> 00:32:13,724 ♪ The way they used to yesterday 470 00:32:13,807 --> 00:32:17,811 ♪ And who draws a perfect circle anymore 471 00:32:19,897 --> 00:32:23,108 ♪ And if you're waiting for greatness to shake hands with you 472 00:32:23,192 --> 00:32:26,987 ♪ You'd better daydream your life away 473 00:32:27,112 --> 00:32:32,368 ♪ I've only wanted one thing and that's for sure 474 00:32:33,827 --> 00:32:36,997 ♪ You're not just looking at a fast-food king 475 00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:40,250 ♪ Just another well-known face 476 00:32:40,376 --> 00:32:44,713 ♪ You're not looking at the king of anything 477 00:32:46,590 --> 00:32:49,843 ♪ I'm gonna shoot for the moon I'm gonna play high noon 478 00:32:49,927 --> 00:32:53,681 ♪ I'm gonna take on the entire human race 479 00:32:53,806 --> 00:32:57,768 ♪ You're not looking at a king 480 00:32:57,893 --> 00:33:00,729 ♪ You're looking at an ace 481 00:33:04,441 --> 00:33:08,153 ♪ Ooh, I got sight and I've seen the light 482 00:33:08,237 --> 00:33:11,615 ♪ And I'm gonna see the coming day 483 00:33:11,699 --> 00:33:14,368 ♪ When the sun in the sky is a spotlight 484 00:33:14,493 --> 00:33:18,038 ♪ Just for me 485 00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:21,834 ♪ I'm gonna take my time and rock some rhyme 486 00:33:21,959 --> 00:33:24,712 ♪ Oh, it's gonna take your breath away 487 00:33:24,837 --> 00:33:27,297 ♪ You'll be the front page rage of the age 488 00:33:27,381 --> 00:33:31,802 ♪ Just wait and see 489 00:33:31,927 --> 00:33:34,930 ♪ You're not just looking at a fast-food king 490 00:33:35,055 --> 00:33:38,434 ♪ Just another well-known face 491 00:33:38,517 --> 00:33:44,523 ♪ You're not looking at the king of anything 492 00:33:44,606 --> 00:33:47,693 ♪ We're gonna shoot for the moon We're gonna play high noon 493 00:33:47,776 --> 00:33:51,947 ♪ We're gonna take on the entire human race 494 00:33:52,031 --> 00:33:55,701 - ♪ You're not looking at a king - ♪ No, no, no, no, no 495 00:33:55,784 --> 00:33:58,871 - ♪ You're looking at an ace - ♪ You're looking at an ace 496 00:33:58,996 --> 00:34:01,915 - ♪ You're looking at a goddamned ace - ♪ You're looking at an ace 497 00:34:02,041 --> 00:34:05,335 - ♪ You're looking at an ace - ♪ You're looking at an ace 498 00:34:05,461 --> 00:34:09,882 ♪ You're looking at an a-a-a-ace ♪ 499 00:34:10,007 --> 00:34:14,595 I just love home movies, don't you? 500 00:34:14,720 --> 00:34:17,806 Time's tight, Janet. Do it right, Janet. 501 00:34:19,475 --> 00:34:22,478 Until tomorrow night... 502 00:34:22,561 --> 00:34:24,605 Janet. 503 00:34:27,107 --> 00:34:32,154 Well, Farley Flavours is fairly flattering. 504 00:34:34,782 --> 00:34:37,159 But I want to see Brad. 505 00:34:37,242 --> 00:34:40,204 The question is, Janet, does Brad want to see you? 506 00:34:40,287 --> 00:34:44,583 - Quite frankly, he hates you. - What do you mean? 507 00:34:44,666 --> 00:34:48,670 Brad is harbouring deep feelings of hostility towards you, Janet. 508 00:34:48,754 --> 00:34:51,548 - Towards me? - It's classical. 509 00:34:51,632 --> 00:34:55,761 Almost a textbook case. 510 00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:58,555 Oh, no! 511 00:34:58,639 --> 00:35:00,933 That's an extremely negative response. 512 00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:04,186 Yes, Janet. Leave the crying to Brad. 513 00:35:04,269 --> 00:35:06,688 Is it because I'm becoming too popular? 514 00:35:06,772 --> 00:35:11,652 On the contrary, Janet, he wants to see your ratings soar. 515 00:35:11,735 --> 00:35:16,073 He needs a woman of exceptional desirability. 516 00:35:16,156 --> 00:35:18,534 So, you see, Janet, 517 00:35:18,617 --> 00:35:22,371 you can help us to help him. 518 00:35:28,919 --> 00:35:31,588 Maybe I can. 519 00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:48,438 'Stand by for Faith Factory rehearsal.' 520 00:35:48,522 --> 00:35:52,401 I bet that Macy Struthers had a hand in this. 521 00:35:52,484 --> 00:35:55,529 We'll probably be replaced by an hour of fashion tips. 522 00:35:55,612 --> 00:35:59,158 - Now, Betty, don't overreact. - Overreact? 523 00:35:59,241 --> 00:36:01,743 You're the one with theories about conspirac... 524 00:36:03,912 --> 00:36:06,081 - Oliver? - Yes, Betty? 525 00:36:06,206 --> 00:36:10,627 Are you spoken for this evening? 526 00:36:20,262 --> 00:36:22,931 All right, you guys. 527 00:36:23,056 --> 00:36:28,353 An early start tomorrow for Janet's debut on Good Morning Denton. 528 00:36:28,437 --> 00:36:32,274 By the time we unveil Farley's Faith Factory show... 529 00:36:32,357 --> 00:36:36,195 we'll have all earned our beauty sleep. 530 00:36:36,278 --> 00:36:41,074 - Could I just peep in on Brad before I go home? - Home? 531 00:36:42,326 --> 00:36:44,953 Home. 532 00:36:45,078 --> 00:36:48,999 This is the nerve centre of operations, Janet. 533 00:36:49,082 --> 00:36:52,377 You must stay here tonight. That way we can all be together 534 00:36:52,461 --> 00:36:57,090 when Mr. Sun paints us a new day with his golden brush. 535 00:37:01,678 --> 00:37:05,390 And you can "peep in" on Brad in the morning. 536 00:37:05,515 --> 00:37:07,601 Morning? 537 00:37:07,726 --> 00:37:09,895 Are all the beds made up? 538 00:37:09,978 --> 00:37:12,189 Oh, yes! I've plumped up all the pillows, changed... 539 00:37:12,272 --> 00:37:15,484 - Then lock up for the night. - Okay! 540 00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,134 Clever of you to find this spot, Betty. 541 00:37:41,218 --> 00:37:44,221 It pays to know your way around, Oliver. 542 00:37:44,304 --> 00:37:48,058 I thought the Home of Happiness would give your theory a new perspective. 543 00:37:48,141 --> 00:37:50,811 A stately pleasure home indeed. 544 00:37:50,894 --> 00:37:55,607 Oh, I adore Coleridge Taylor. 545 00:37:55,691 --> 00:37:57,651 As a matter of fact... 546 00:38:02,864 --> 00:38:05,534 "It is an ancient Mariner... 547 00:38:05,617 --> 00:38:08,787 "and he stoppeth one of three. 548 00:38:08,870 --> 00:38:13,667 "By thy long grey beard and glittering eye... 549 00:38:13,750 --> 00:38:18,755 "now wherefore stop'st thou me?" 550 00:38:19,923 --> 00:38:21,967 Oh. 551 00:38:48,410 --> 00:38:51,163 ♪ I feel the heat from your skin 552 00:38:51,246 --> 00:38:53,540 ♪ And the stubble on your chin 553 00:38:53,623 --> 00:38:56,168 ♪ You're no good 554 00:38:56,251 --> 00:38:58,879 ♪ You're no good 555 00:38:58,962 --> 00:39:01,298 ♪ You've got dirt on your hands 556 00:39:01,381 --> 00:39:03,759 ♪ And everybody understands 557 00:39:03,842 --> 00:39:06,428 ♪ You're no good 558 00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:08,597 ♪ You're no good 559 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,224 - ♪ Oh, what a joke - ♪ What a joke 560 00:39:11,308 --> 00:39:13,769 ♪ You feel like choking 561 00:39:13,852 --> 00:39:16,355 - ♪ You play for broke - ♪ You play for broke 562 00:39:16,438 --> 00:39:18,398 ♪ He leaves you smoking 563 00:39:18,482 --> 00:39:24,112 ♪ Oh, romance is not a children's game 564 00:39:24,196 --> 00:39:27,074 ♪ But you keep going back 565 00:39:27,157 --> 00:39:31,328 ♪ It's driving you insane 566 00:39:40,087 --> 00:39:45,050 ♪ Drift into the treacle deep 567 00:39:45,133 --> 00:39:49,346 ♪ Slip into its silent depths Go to sleep 568 00:39:49,429 --> 00:39:54,226 ♪ With your everything akimbo 569 00:39:54,309 --> 00:39:59,731 ♪ Float into the sandman's limbo 570 00:39:59,815 --> 00:40:02,067 - ♪ Night, night - ♪ Night, night 571 00:40:02,150 --> 00:40:04,319 ♪ It's time for bye-byes 572 00:40:04,403 --> 00:40:09,699 ♪ It's been a great day Thanks a heap 573 00:40:09,825 --> 00:40:11,743 ♪ Now it's time 574 00:40:11,827 --> 00:40:14,162 ♪ For everyone 575 00:40:14,246 --> 00:40:19,543 ♪ To go to sleep 576 00:40:19,626 --> 00:40:21,670 ♪ Night, night 577 00:40:21,753 --> 00:40:24,256 ♪ It's time for bye-byes 578 00:40:24,339 --> 00:40:29,302 ♪ It's been a great day Thanks a heap 579 00:40:29,386 --> 00:40:31,680 ♪ Now it's time 580 00:40:31,763 --> 00:40:34,141 ♪ For everyone 581 00:40:34,224 --> 00:40:38,228 ♪ To go to sleep ♪ 582 00:40:57,372 --> 00:41:01,084 "He went like one that hath been stunned, 583 00:41:01,209 --> 00:41:05,464 "and is of sense forlorn. 584 00:41:05,547 --> 00:41:09,634 "A sadder and a wiser man, 585 00:41:09,718 --> 00:41:12,179 he rose the morrow morn." 586 00:41:16,266 --> 00:41:19,936 Does this bird belong to you? 587 00:41:43,376 --> 00:41:45,378 Janet? 588 00:41:52,761 --> 00:41:55,514 Are you decent, Janet? 589 00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:10,737 Hoopla, Bert! 590 00:42:10,862 --> 00:42:13,740 Nice to see you up and about. 591 00:42:13,865 --> 00:42:16,701 - Mac's waiting in the wardrobe, Janet. - Uh-huh. 592 00:42:16,826 --> 00:42:20,622 Care to join me in an on-set snack? 593 00:42:51,027 --> 00:42:54,114 Good morning. 594 00:42:58,451 --> 00:43:00,704 I wanna see Brad. 595 00:43:03,164 --> 00:43:06,376 Look at yourself. You're beautiful. 596 00:43:06,459 --> 00:43:10,880 The most desirable creature that ever walked. 597 00:43:12,799 --> 00:43:16,845 Oh, if only Brad could have found it within himself to say those things to me. 598 00:43:16,928 --> 00:43:21,641 He will, but it's up to you to reawaken his feelings. 599 00:43:21,725 --> 00:43:24,519 Farley's given you that chance. 600 00:43:24,603 --> 00:43:26,938 You can use the Breakfast Show... 601 00:43:27,022 --> 00:43:29,566 to knock Denton dead. 602 00:43:31,151 --> 00:43:33,278 Do you really think so? 603 00:43:33,361 --> 00:43:35,363 Everybody needs you. 604 00:43:38,533 --> 00:43:42,370 - Hmm. But what'll I do? What'll I say? - Hmm? 605 00:43:42,662 --> 00:43:44,623 - What'll I wear? - Ah. 606 00:43:48,835 --> 00:43:51,921 ♪ Ever since I was a little boy 607 00:43:52,005 --> 00:43:56,801 ♪ Dressing up has always been my greatest joy 608 00:43:56,926 --> 00:43:59,721 ♪ But when it's time to be discreet 609 00:43:59,804 --> 00:44:03,141 ♪ There's one thing you just can't beat 610 00:44:03,266 --> 00:44:07,354 ♪ And that's a strapless backless, classical little black dress 611 00:44:07,479 --> 00:44:10,523 ♪ Well, first you go rip, rip, rip 612 00:44:10,649 --> 00:44:12,942 ♪ Then you go snip, snip, snip 613 00:44:13,068 --> 00:44:15,362 ♪ Then you whip in a zip, zip, zip 614 00:44:15,487 --> 00:44:18,406 ♪ And split it up to the hip, hip, hip 615 00:44:18,490 --> 00:44:21,660 ♪ And as you strip, strip, strip 616 00:44:21,743 --> 00:44:24,746 ♪ You shiver and quiver 617 00:44:24,829 --> 00:44:26,873 ♪ For that soft caress 618 00:44:26,956 --> 00:44:31,461 ♪ As you slip, slip, slip into that little black dress 619 00:44:32,879 --> 00:44:35,882 ♪ Ever since I was the ein kleiner herren 620 00:44:35,965 --> 00:44:40,261 ♪ It was the Cordon Bleu for which I am most carin' 621 00:44:40,512 --> 00:44:44,224 ♪ And the one taste treat so sweet 622 00:44:44,307 --> 00:44:47,060 ♪ That really can't be beat 623 00:44:47,143 --> 00:44:51,231 ♪ Is what we have, ja, how you are, caviar That little black mess 624 00:44:51,356 --> 00:44:55,026 - Et voilà! - But how? 625 00:44:55,151 --> 00:44:58,571 ♪ Well, first you go rip, rip, rip 626 00:44:58,655 --> 00:45:00,699 ♪ Then you go snip, snip, snip 627 00:45:00,824 --> 00:45:03,451 ♪ Then you whip in a zip, zip, zip 628 00:45:03,535 --> 00:45:06,037 ♪ And split it up to the hip, hip, hip 629 00:45:06,162 --> 00:45:08,415 ♪ And as you strip, strip, strip 630 00:45:08,540 --> 00:45:12,252 ♪ Oh, you quiver and shiver 631 00:45:12,335 --> 00:45:14,212 ♪ For that soft caress 632 00:45:14,337 --> 00:45:20,051 ♪ As you slip, slip, slip into that little black dress 633 00:45:20,176 --> 00:45:23,304 - ♪ That minimal - ♪ Minimal 634 00:45:23,430 --> 00:45:25,765 - ♪ Criminal - ♪ Criminal 635 00:45:25,890 --> 00:45:29,519 ♪ Cynical little black dress 636 00:45:31,187 --> 00:45:34,482 ♪ Let's face it, Mac That basic black is coming back 637 00:45:36,693 --> 00:45:40,572 ♪ Let's face it, Mac That basic black is coming back 638 00:45:40,697 --> 00:45:45,243 ♪ Let's face it, Mac That basic black is coming back 639 00:45:46,911 --> 00:45:49,330 - ♪ That minimal - ♪ Minimal 640 00:45:49,414 --> 00:45:52,083 - ♪ Criminal - ♪ Criminal 641 00:45:52,167 --> 00:45:55,837 - ♪ Cynical - ♪ Little black dress ♪ 642 00:45:55,962 --> 00:45:59,758 Good morning, Denton. Rise and shine. 643 00:45:59,841 --> 00:46:03,052 She'll be here any second now. So let's give her a great big hand. 644 00:46:03,136 --> 00:46:05,138 Come on now. 645 00:46:21,362 --> 00:46:25,366 Oh, Janet, I can't tell you how excited I am... for you. 646 00:46:25,450 --> 00:46:28,536 We've got the band and dancers and dry ice standing by. 647 00:46:28,620 --> 00:46:32,290 Betty Hapschatt is indisposed, so Macy will have to do the introductions. 648 00:46:32,373 --> 00:46:34,375 I don't need introductions. 649 00:46:36,002 --> 00:46:38,421 The fabulous, the golden... 650 00:46:38,546 --> 00:46:40,965 the very wonderful... 651 00:46:41,090 --> 00:46:42,592 - I knew it! - ♪ Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet 652 00:46:42,717 --> 00:46:46,262 - I knew it! - ♪ Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet 653 00:46:47,889 --> 00:46:51,810 ♪ There's just the two of me 654 00:46:51,893 --> 00:46:56,689 ♪ Alone at last together 655 00:46:56,773 --> 00:47:01,402 ♪ We've got the luck so far 656 00:47:01,486 --> 00:47:04,948 ♪ We are my lucky star 657 00:47:05,031 --> 00:47:09,035 Star, star, star, star, star, star, star, star. 658 00:47:17,752 --> 00:47:21,506 ♪ Deep in the heart of me 659 00:47:21,589 --> 00:47:25,343 ♪ I love every part of me 660 00:47:25,426 --> 00:47:29,013 ♪ All I can see in me 661 00:47:29,097 --> 00:47:32,600 ♪ Is the danger and ecstasy 662 00:47:32,684 --> 00:47:37,146 ♪ Yeah, one thing there couldn't be 663 00:47:37,230 --> 00:47:41,442 ♪ Is any more me in me 664 00:47:41,526 --> 00:47:44,988 ♪ This is the me of me 665 00:47:45,113 --> 00:47:48,992 ♪ Me, me, me 666 00:47:49,075 --> 00:47:52,871 ♪ Me, me 667 00:47:52,954 --> 00:47:56,875 ♪ Me, me, me 668 00:47:56,958 --> 00:47:59,168 ♪ Me, me, me 669 00:48:02,589 --> 00:48:06,551 ♪ I am my destiny 670 00:48:09,095 --> 00:48:14,058 ♪ I'd never lie to me 671 00:48:14,142 --> 00:48:18,187 ♪ I'd be willing to die pour moi 672 00:48:18,271 --> 00:48:21,399 ♪ I'll pray every day to me 673 00:48:21,524 --> 00:48:25,737 ♪ And here's what I'd say to me 674 00:48:25,862 --> 00:48:29,908 ♪ This is the me of me 675 00:48:29,991 --> 00:48:34,329 ♪ Me, me, me< 676 00:48:34,412 --> 00:48:37,665 ♪ Me, me 677 00:48:37,749 --> 00:48:41,461 ♪ Me, me, me 678 00:48:41,544 --> 00:48:44,547 ♪ Me, me, me 679 00:48:44,672 --> 00:48:47,592 - ♪ Me, me, me - Aah! 680 00:48:47,717 --> 00:48:51,054 ♪ Ooh, me, me 681 00:48:51,179 --> 00:48:53,765 - ♪ Me, me, me - Yeah! 682 00:48:53,890 --> 00:48:57,769 ♪ Whoa, me, me 683 00:48:57,894 --> 00:49:01,648 ♪ Look at me 684 00:49:01,731 --> 00:49:03,608 ♪ Moi, moi ♪ 685 00:49:07,195 --> 00:49:09,322 Ah! 686 00:49:09,447 --> 00:49:12,408 Janet! Janet! 687 00:49:12,492 --> 00:49:14,953 Janet! 688 00:49:23,044 --> 00:49:26,214 And you can see and hear Janet tonight 689 00:49:26,297 --> 00:49:30,301 on Faith Factory, brought to you by Farley Flavours. 690 00:49:30,385 --> 00:49:32,929 All right, Janet. 691 00:49:33,012 --> 00:49:36,182 - You were far out. - Terrific. 692 00:49:38,851 --> 00:49:41,270 Out of self came selflessness! 693 00:49:41,354 --> 00:49:44,524 You revealed yourself, the real you, the secret you. 694 00:49:44,607 --> 00:49:47,610 - And you liked what you saw, didn't you, Janet? - Well, I must say... 695 00:49:47,694 --> 00:49:51,864 - How's Brad? - Well, if he caught my act, he'll be lookin' good. 696 00:49:54,909 --> 00:49:58,830 It seems I'm his medicine, so we're off to give him another spoonful. 697 00:49:58,913 --> 00:50:02,250 Check you later, Betty. I gotta freshen up. 698 00:50:08,464 --> 00:50:12,051 Hey, how about that? Janet was a knockout! 699 00:50:12,135 --> 00:50:14,303 - Thank you. - Yeah, she was terrific. 700 00:50:14,387 --> 00:50:17,056 - Sexy! - What? 701 00:50:18,391 --> 00:50:20,852 At the same time fresh, untouched, you know. 702 00:50:20,935 --> 00:50:24,147 - Hey, how's Brad? - He's fine. 703 00:50:24,230 --> 00:50:26,899 Lucky dog, with a pretty girl like that for a wife. 704 00:50:26,983 --> 00:50:31,696 Yeah, he sure is. No sugar. Thanks, Kirk. 705 00:50:31,779 --> 00:50:35,033 Well, I'll sugar his daughter's... 706 00:50:35,116 --> 00:50:38,161 Coffee, Kirk. I'm dying for it. 707 00:50:38,244 --> 00:50:41,873 R.I.P., Betty. You're off the air. 708 00:50:43,416 --> 00:50:47,003 What's happening here? Janet's on the Breakfast Show... 709 00:50:47,086 --> 00:50:51,257 Brad's committed to a nowhere series, and we've been... 710 00:50:51,340 --> 00:50:53,551 Written out? 711 00:50:53,676 --> 00:50:56,929 'Dentonvale. 712 00:50:58,973 --> 00:51:02,351 'The Mission of Mercy. 713 00:51:02,435 --> 00:51:06,189 'Starring the increasingly popular Janet Majors.' 714 00:51:06,272 --> 00:51:08,483 Hi, Mommy. Hi, Daddy. 715 00:51:08,608 --> 00:51:13,529 Hi, Brad. I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am. 716 00:51:13,654 --> 00:51:17,158 Janet, where's that lovely dress I made you? 717 00:51:17,283 --> 00:51:20,536 Oh, Mac just whipped up this little crowd-pleaser. 718 00:51:20,620 --> 00:51:22,872 Well, you're practically naked! 719 00:51:22,955 --> 00:51:26,250 I can't wear anything under it, Daddy. It would spoil the line. 720 00:51:28,711 --> 00:51:33,549 My God, Janet. How can you say such things? Look at Brad. Look what they've done to him. 721 00:51:33,674 --> 00:51:37,178 - Ah. Janet's parents? - Are you the doctor? 722 00:51:37,261 --> 00:51:39,555 - Yes. - There's gonna have to be an investigation. 723 00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:43,267 - There are regulations about this sort of thing. - It's for his own good. 724 00:51:43,392 --> 00:51:48,731 - Hoopla, Janet! - Bert! Sweetheart! Oh, it's fabulous! 725 00:51:51,150 --> 00:51:53,361 - What's going on here? - You're wearing your black. 726 00:51:53,486 --> 00:51:57,365 - Yes, of course. - I adore that colour. 727 00:51:57,490 --> 00:52:01,327 Patient was in great danger of doing himself a mischief. 728 00:52:01,452 --> 00:52:05,123 We only want what's best for him. As parents, you must understand. 729 00:52:05,248 --> 00:52:07,416 No. No, I don't! 730 00:52:07,500 --> 00:52:11,754 Brad doesn't need to be trussed up like a turkey. There are drugs to keep him quiet. 731 00:52:11,838 --> 00:52:15,007 - We used them. All of them. - And none of them worked? 732 00:52:15,091 --> 00:52:17,260 - No. - Then double the strength. 733 00:52:17,343 --> 00:52:19,428 - We did. - We know our job. 734 00:52:19,554 --> 00:52:24,433 We also know how you feel. We're not strangers to confusion. 735 00:52:27,728 --> 00:52:30,398 - 'We're not confused.' - 'Well, I am, goddamn it!' 736 00:52:30,523 --> 00:52:33,651 You trust Brad with this crowd-pleaser? 737 00:52:33,776 --> 00:52:36,988 Ooh. 738 00:52:39,740 --> 00:52:43,995 ♪ I'm not a locum with motive to suture myself 739 00:52:44,078 --> 00:52:47,165 ♪ I've been a cynic for too many years 740 00:52:47,248 --> 00:52:50,793 ♪ Playing doctor and nurse It can be good for your health 741 00:52:50,918 --> 00:52:56,215 ♪ I've seen clinics with those gimmicks in Tangiers 742 00:52:57,717 --> 00:53:00,636 ♪ But if you open your heart to a smooth operator 743 00:53:00,761 --> 00:53:04,765 ♪ He'll take you for all that you've got 744 00:53:04,891 --> 00:53:09,312 ♪ He'll hand you a curse that'll be with you later 745 00:53:09,437 --> 00:53:12,023 ♪ It'll shake you the way he takes off 746 00:53:12,106 --> 00:53:14,650 ♪ Like a shot 747 00:53:14,734 --> 00:53:17,653 - ♪ You need a bit of - ♪ Ooh, shock treatment 748 00:53:17,737 --> 00:53:20,740 ♪ Gets you jumping like a real live wire 749 00:53:20,865 --> 00:53:24,869 - ♪ You need a bit of - ♪ Ooh, shock treatment 750 00:53:24,994 --> 00:53:28,080 ♪ So look out, mister Don't you blow your last resistor 751 00:53:28,164 --> 00:53:31,584 ♪ For a vista that'll mystify ya 752 00:53:33,586 --> 00:53:37,298 ♪ You're blinded by romance You're blinded by science 753 00:53:37,381 --> 00:53:40,718 ♪ Your condition is critically grave 754 00:53:40,801 --> 00:53:44,805 ♪ But don't expect mercy from such an alliance 755 00:53:44,889 --> 00:53:50,353 ♪ Suspicion of tradition's so new wave 756 00:53:50,436 --> 00:53:53,940 - ♪ You need a bit of - ♪ Ooh, shock treatment 757 00:53:54,065 --> 00:53:56,943 ♪ Gets you jumping like a real live wire 758 00:53:57,068 --> 00:54:00,821 - ♪ You need a bit of - ♪ Ooh, shock treatment 759 00:54:00,947 --> 00:54:04,200 ♪ So look out, mister Don't you blow your last resistor 760 00:54:04,325 --> 00:54:08,287 ♪ For a sister that'll certify ya 761 00:54:08,371 --> 00:54:12,250 - ♪ You need a bit of - ♪ Ooh, shock treatment 762 00:54:12,375 --> 00:54:15,002 ♪ Gets you jumping like a real live wire 763 00:54:15,127 --> 00:54:19,298 - ♪ You need a bit of - ♪ Ooh, shock treatment 764 00:54:19,423 --> 00:54:22,260 ♪ So look out, mister Don't you blow your last resistor 765 00:54:22,385 --> 00:54:28,266 ♪ For a sister that'll certify ya ♪ 766 00:54:28,349 --> 00:54:31,143 Aha! 767 00:54:34,146 --> 00:54:38,109 Look at that! Bert Schnick's dancing! 768 00:54:41,570 --> 00:54:46,284 - Bert can see! - Macabre, isn't it? 769 00:54:46,409 --> 00:54:49,495 The blind< leading the blind. 770 00:54:56,961 --> 00:54:59,088 - Welcome to the Faith Factory rehearsal. - Thank you. 771 00:54:59,171 --> 00:55:02,341 - We're all really excited about tonight. - Oh. 772 00:55:02,425 --> 00:55:07,096 - Oh, do I get one of those? - Oh, yes, yes, of course you do. 773 00:55:07,179 --> 00:55:11,142 Janet? Janet? Janet? 774 00:55:12,601 --> 00:55:17,398 Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 775 00:55:17,523 --> 00:55:19,692 Oh, really? 776 00:55:19,775 --> 00:55:23,446 Macy, why don't you take Janet and help her freshen up before the rehearsal? 777 00:55:23,529 --> 00:55:26,490 Surely. 778 00:55:29,744 --> 00:55:32,913 Ralph. You promised me an introduction. 779 00:55:32,997 --> 00:55:35,041 Later, Francine. 780 00:55:35,124 --> 00:55:37,418 Frankie! 781 00:55:38,461 --> 00:55:42,673 Bert, could you spare a moment? 782 00:55:42,757 --> 00:55:45,634 Of course. 783 00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:48,304 Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 784 00:55:48,387 --> 00:55:51,974 - Janet! Janet! We want Janet! - Janet, a quick word. 785 00:55:52,058 --> 00:55:56,145 Could you tell our viewers what exactly you will be representing tonight? 786 00:55:56,228 --> 00:55:59,148 - Sanity for today. - Wow! 787 00:55:59,231 --> 00:56:01,942 And that's the word from Janet Majors, 788 00:56:02,026 --> 00:56:04,236 DTV's newest star. 789 00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:06,322 Okay, guys, let's move on. 790 00:56:06,405 --> 00:56:09,033 - How's Brad? - He's a wreck. 791 00:56:09,116 --> 00:56:13,454 - Check. The quacks are willing tools? - Ah, the quacks are fools. 792 00:56:13,537 --> 00:56:17,708 You know, I wouldn't mind doing Janet one or two favours. 793 00:56:17,792 --> 00:56:20,628 It's time to check with Flavours. 794 00:56:23,339 --> 00:56:27,009 Shoot. 795 00:56:33,182 --> 00:56:36,352 Is there anything else you'd like, Janet? 796 00:56:36,435 --> 00:56:41,107 Yeah, a new carpet. I hate the colour. Don't you? 797 00:56:41,190 --> 00:56:44,693 It's only one night, Janet. 798 00:56:44,777 --> 00:56:47,905 - Don't forget who we're doing this for. - Who? 799 00:56:47,988 --> 00:56:50,324 Brad. 800 00:56:50,408 --> 00:56:55,579 You know, I'm getting awfully sick of hearing about that emotional cripple. 801 00:56:55,663 --> 00:57:00,543 I've got a lot going for me, you know. I'm going places. I'm gonna be someone. 802 00:57:00,626 --> 00:57:03,546 I'm gonna win my way into the lives and hearts of the people 803 00:57:03,629 --> 00:57:07,258 even if I have to kill to do it. 804 00:57:07,341 --> 00:57:10,803 I'll make the pathetic little crumbs love me. 805 00:57:13,764 --> 00:57:16,642 I don't even know why I'm wasting my time here with you. 806 00:57:16,725 --> 00:57:18,686 I should be with my people. 807 00:57:18,811 --> 00:57:21,981 'Janet! Janet! We want Janet!' 808 00:57:22,106 --> 00:57:24,024 Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 809 00:57:24,108 --> 00:57:26,318 Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 810 00:57:26,402 --> 00:57:29,363 Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 811 00:57:29,488 --> 00:57:31,532 Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 812 00:57:33,367 --> 00:57:35,369 Hey, Janet! 813 00:57:35,494 --> 00:57:37,997 - Girl, you're great! - Oh, thanks. 814 00:57:38,122 --> 00:57:40,916 - Hi. My name's Frankie. - Francine! 815 00:57:41,041 --> 00:57:43,752 And I think you're beautiful. 816 00:57:47,465 --> 00:57:51,927 Hi, I'm Brenda. This is my brother Oscar, and this is our friend, Glish Davison. 817 00:57:52,052 --> 00:57:56,682 Janet, we really enjoyed doing the Breakfast Show with you. 818 00:57:58,893 --> 00:58:03,022 This is Janet. She's a phenomenon. 819 00:58:03,147 --> 00:58:06,150 ♪ So if you're looking for a standard to which you can aspire 820 00:58:06,275 --> 00:58:08,569 ♪ Then, baby 821 00:58:08,694 --> 00:58:12,990 ♪ Look at me Whoa-oh 822 00:58:14,658 --> 00:58:17,828 - ♪ Look at me ♪ - All right! 823 00:58:22,541 --> 00:58:24,919 I think you need a little rest. 824 00:58:25,044 --> 00:58:28,047 You've got a big night ahead of you. 825 00:58:28,172 --> 00:58:32,218 Your clothes are real neat. 826 00:58:32,343 --> 00:58:34,678 'Reminder. Wardrobe check...' 827 00:58:34,803 --> 00:58:39,058 'We want Janet! Janet! Janet! We want Janet!' 828 00:58:39,141 --> 00:58:41,852 Aren't they great? 829 00:58:41,936 --> 00:58:43,896 But getting back to Faith Factory, 830 00:58:43,979 --> 00:58:46,982 all in all, it looks like an exciting new series for us. 831 00:58:47,066 --> 00:58:49,818 Yes, and an attractive financial prospect for Denton. 832 00:58:49,902 --> 00:58:53,906 - And fashion-wise? - What did I tell you? 833 00:58:54,031 --> 00:58:57,993 Well, I can just say that Faith Factory will be introducing a new look 834 00:58:58,077 --> 00:59:02,498 that will show off one or two old faces in an exciting new light. 835 00:59:02,623 --> 00:59:06,252 - Really? Sounds interesting. - Did you hear that, Oliver? 836 00:59:06,377 --> 00:59:10,673 Yes, Betty. But the false promise of a new dawn 837 00:59:10,798 --> 00:59:15,302 usually leads to a most bloody sunset. 838 00:59:15,427 --> 00:59:19,682 No, I don't know what Janet's next move will be, but you can be sure of one thing. 839 00:59:19,765 --> 00:59:24,728 - It all starts right here. - Thank you. 840 00:59:26,188 --> 00:59:28,440 And that's the word from Ralph Hapschatt... 841 00:59:28,524 --> 00:59:30,442 and Macy Struthers. 842 00:59:30,526 --> 00:59:32,778 'Janet! Janet! We want Janet! 843 00:59:32,861 --> 00:59:35,489 'Janet! Janet! We want Janet!' 844 00:59:35,573 --> 00:59:37,491 - Oh, Oliver! - Hmm? 845 00:59:37,575 --> 00:59:39,577 What are we going to do? 846 00:59:40,661 --> 00:59:42,705 Care to indulge? 847 00:59:42,788 --> 00:59:45,165 - Indulge? - Mm-hmm. 848 00:59:45,249 --> 00:59:48,002 - In a little, um, masquerade? - 'Final reminder.' 849 00:59:48,085 --> 00:59:50,462 - Oh. - 'Wardrobe check for Faith Factory medical outfits. 850 00:59:50,546 --> 00:59:53,382 'Wardrobe check for Faith Factory medical outfits.' 851 00:59:53,507 --> 00:59:56,927 'Dentonvale. 852 00:59:57,052 --> 00:59:59,221 'Parental predicament.' 853 00:59:59,305 --> 01:00:01,265 Oh, Harry, what are we gonna do? 854 01:00:01,348 --> 01:00:04,143 I don't know, Emily. I'm worried. 855 01:00:04,268 --> 01:00:08,439 Maybe I could wear those black leather brogues. 856 01:00:08,522 --> 01:00:12,401 Too flashy. They'll clash with the new outfits. 857 01:00:12,526 --> 01:00:17,406 It's all right, Brad, dear. 858 01:00:17,489 --> 01:00:19,450 Have another sedative. 859 01:00:22,244 --> 01:00:24,622 We'll miss you on the show tonight. 860 01:00:27,291 --> 01:00:30,669 Don't worry, Brad. I'll be back. 861 01:00:32,212 --> 01:00:36,425 - What about those Italian loafers I bought in Hawaii? - Mmm. 862 01:00:43,766 --> 01:00:47,936 I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am. 863 01:01:01,492 --> 01:01:05,371 Face it, Janet. Brad's an emotional cripple. 864 01:01:09,375 --> 01:01:12,795 - Quite frankly... - He hates you. 865 01:01:17,216 --> 01:01:19,802 'Time's tight, Janet. 866 01:01:19,885 --> 01:01:22,638 'Do it right, Janet. 867 01:01:22,721 --> 01:01:24,890 'Until tonight... 868 01:01:26,016 --> 01:01:28,018 'Janet.' 869 01:01:31,939 --> 01:01:35,150 I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am. 870 01:01:35,275 --> 01:01:37,194 I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am. 871 01:01:42,282 --> 01:01:45,160 ♪ Out on a cul-de-sac 872 01:01:46,870 --> 01:01:49,790 ♪ And I gotta go back 873 01:01:51,625 --> 01:01:54,586 ♪ So come on, feet 874 01:01:55,713 --> 01:01:58,757 ♪ We gotta hit the street 875 01:02:00,384 --> 01:02:04,888 ♪ We've got it made 876 01:02:04,972 --> 01:02:07,307 ♪ I'm looking for trade 877 01:02:09,351 --> 01:02:12,604 ♪ I'm lookin' for love 878 01:02:13,647 --> 01:02:15,941 ♪ I'm lookin' for trade 879 01:02:18,318 --> 01:02:22,573 ♪ I need some young blood I need some young blood 880 01:02:22,656 --> 01:02:24,908 ♪ I need it now 881 01:02:26,827 --> 01:02:31,457 ♪ I need some young blood I need some young blood 882 01:02:31,540 --> 01:02:34,585 ♪ And we're gonna get it somehow 883 01:02:36,462 --> 01:02:38,881 ♪ I'm on a dead-end street 884 01:02:40,758 --> 01:02:43,302 ♪ I'm like a dog in the heat 885 01:02:45,137 --> 01:02:49,099 ♪ I'm like a kid with no toys 886 01:02:49,183 --> 01:02:53,437 ♪ I wanna get those boys 887 01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:58,317 ♪ Oh, I can't be delayed 888 01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:01,153 ♪ I'm looking for trade 889 01:03:03,197 --> 01:03:06,992 ♪ I'm lookin' for love 890 01:03:07,075 --> 01:03:09,620 ♪ I'm looking for trade 891 01:03:12,164 --> 01:03:16,752 ♪ Oh, we're all livin' like there's no tomorrow 892 01:03:16,835 --> 01:03:20,756 ♪ And the way things are going that's probably true 893 01:03:20,839 --> 01:03:24,593 ♪ But without you and me, Sis the world would fall to pieces 894 01:03:24,718 --> 01:03:27,346 ♪ Vena cava Who's the raver 895 01:03:27,429 --> 01:03:29,807 ♪ Our raving saviour that's you 896 01:03:32,017 --> 01:03:34,645 ♪ I'm on the primrose path 897 01:03:36,396 --> 01:03:39,066 ♪ I'm looking for a laugh 898 01:03:40,859 --> 01:03:44,029 ♪ Remember, it's no fun 899 01:03:45,197 --> 01:03:48,158 ♪ To be the chosen one 900 01:03:49,576 --> 01:03:52,704 ♪ There are games to be played 901 01:03:54,581 --> 01:03:56,959 ♪ Looking for trade 902 01:03:58,794 --> 01:04:02,381 ♪ I'm looking for love 903 01:04:02,506 --> 01:04:05,259 ♪ I'm looking for trade 904 01:04:07,761 --> 01:04:11,807 ♪ I need some young blood I need some young blood 905 01:04:11,890 --> 01:04:13,976 ♪ And I need it now 906 01:04:14,059 --> 01:04:16,061 ♪ Oh 907 01:04:16,144 --> 01:04:20,732 ♪ I need some young blood I need some young blood 908 01:04:20,816 --> 01:04:23,694 ♪ And I'm gonna get it somehow 909 01:04:23,777 --> 01:04:25,863 ♪ I'm looking for trade ♪ 910 01:04:25,946 --> 01:04:28,282 'Janet, Janet! We want Janet! 911 01:04:28,407 --> 01:04:32,953 - 'Janet, Janet! We want Janet!' - Janet? Janet? 912 01:04:33,078 --> 01:04:35,664 Wake up, Janet. 913 01:04:35,789 --> 01:04:40,794 You've got guests. You can come in now. 914 01:04:42,546 --> 01:04:45,215 - Hi, Janet. - How are you feeling? 915 01:04:45,340 --> 01:04:47,426 Who are you? 916 01:04:47,551 --> 01:04:51,430 - The band. - Do you have any friends? 917 01:04:51,555 --> 01:04:54,016 Sure. 918 01:04:54,099 --> 01:04:56,143 You won't have soon. 919 01:04:58,145 --> 01:05:00,856 What are you called, your band? 920 01:05:00,981 --> 01:05:03,567 Oscar Drill and the Bits. 921 01:05:18,290 --> 01:05:23,629 Betty, it's imperative we get Janet out of Farley's fast fingers 922 01:05:23,712 --> 01:05:28,634 and Brad out of that hellhole before they both disappear forever. 923 01:05:28,717 --> 01:05:31,219 I don't mind telling you, Oliver... 924 01:05:31,303 --> 01:05:33,931 I'm not looking forward to this. 925 01:05:34,014 --> 01:05:36,224 If only I could place that name. 926 01:05:36,308 --> 01:05:40,062 - McKinley. - There was a president. 927 01:05:40,145 --> 01:05:42,397 President? 928 01:05:42,481 --> 01:05:45,400 Past presidents. 929 01:05:45,484 --> 01:05:48,612 Betty, this is beginning to add up. 930 01:05:48,695 --> 01:05:51,281 Really? 931 01:05:51,365 --> 01:05:53,408 What'll I pin this on? 932 01:05:53,492 --> 01:05:55,494 Faith, Betty. 933 01:05:57,329 --> 01:06:00,624 But make sure it's your own. 934 01:06:04,378 --> 01:06:06,380 In a hurry, Mr. Flavours? 935 01:06:06,463 --> 01:06:09,424 There's a little lady he doesn't wanna keep waiting. 936 01:06:09,508 --> 01:06:13,011 - And a date. - Who with, Mr. Flavours? 937 01:06:15,514 --> 01:06:17,516 The past. 938 01:06:24,648 --> 01:06:27,818 ♪ Like a virgin with an urgin' in a surgery 939 01:06:27,901 --> 01:06:31,238 ♪ I'll be swingin' I'll be bringing out the nurse in me 940 01:06:31,321 --> 01:06:34,366 ♪ The art will start when I play my part 941 01:06:34,449 --> 01:06:37,577 ♪ As a healer who will steal your heart 942 01:06:37,661 --> 01:06:41,832 ♪ Oh, look what I did to my id 943 01:06:44,042 --> 01:06:48,213 ♪ Oh, look what I did to my id 944 01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:53,468 ♪ With neurosis in profusion 945 01:06:53,552 --> 01:06:56,972 ♪ And psychosis in your soul 946 01:06:57,055 --> 01:07:00,142 ♪ Eliminate confusion 947 01:07:00,225 --> 01:07:06,148 ♪ And hide inside a brand-new role 948 01:07:06,231 --> 01:07:10,235 ♪ Like a good-time girl I'm gonna try some new tricks 949 01:07:10,318 --> 01:07:13,113 ♪ This could be the start of a whole new career 950 01:07:13,196 --> 01:07:16,366 ♪ Got a deep plum lipstick and some therapeutics 951 01:07:16,450 --> 01:07:19,202 ♪ This could take us to a town that's nowhere near here 952 01:07:19,286 --> 01:07:23,081 ♪ Got the hot flush symptoms and I'm feelin' sneaky 953 01:07:23,165 --> 01:07:25,709 ♪ Young male intern tall and handsome 954 01:07:25,792 --> 01:07:29,212 ♪ Got my hem so high they'll say I'm being cheeky 955 01:07:29,296 --> 01:07:32,716 ♪ With legs like mine I'm really made for dancin' 956 01:07:34,926 --> 01:07:37,095 ♪ Whoa-oh-oh 957 01:07:38,263 --> 01:07:40,265 ♪ Hey, hey, hey 958 01:07:45,187 --> 01:07:48,523 ♪ When heaven's in the music 959 01:07:48,607 --> 01:07:51,735 ♪ Hell is in control 960 01:07:51,818 --> 01:07:54,362 ♪ The angels got the voices 961 01:07:54,446 --> 01:07:59,910 ♪ But the devil's got the rock and roll 962 01:08:01,578 --> 01:08:04,372 ♪ We may look like we're phony medics 963 01:08:04,456 --> 01:08:07,459 ♪ But we took our look from a book by Fredericks 964 01:08:07,542 --> 01:08:12,839 ♪ Oh, look what I did to my id, kid 965 01:08:14,091 --> 01:08:18,053 ♪ Look what I did to my id ♪ 966 01:08:18,136 --> 01:08:19,096 - Oh, Brad. - He's an emotional cripple, remember? 967 01:08:19,221 --> 01:08:22,390 - Oh, Brad. - He's an emotional cripple, remember? 968 01:08:22,474 --> 01:08:24,768 Even he wouldn't like to see you like this. 969 01:08:24,851 --> 01:08:28,563 Ralph, I need a final statement from her, and if I don't get it, there's gonna be trouble. 970 01:08:28,647 --> 01:08:31,399 - Later, Neely, okay? - Ralph! 971 01:08:31,483 --> 01:08:34,194 How is she? 972 01:08:34,319 --> 01:08:36,696 Well, come on. Farley's expecting her any minute. 973 01:08:36,822 --> 01:08:39,241 You guys get your asses in front of those cameras, 974 01:08:39,324 --> 01:08:42,077 and try and earn yourselves a reputation, okay? 975 01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:44,079 Well, move! 976 01:08:44,204 --> 01:08:46,456 We just wanna ask a few questions. 977 01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:51,419 These are for you, Janet. 978 01:08:51,503 --> 01:08:53,547 They'll make you feel a whole lot better. 979 01:08:53,630 --> 01:08:55,549 Yeah. 980 01:08:59,553 --> 01:09:01,555 Amateurs. 981 01:09:06,309 --> 01:09:09,104 - 'Give us a "J"!' - 'J!' 982 01:09:09,187 --> 01:09:10,772 - 'A!' - 'A!' 983 01:09:10,856 --> 01:09:12,315 - 'N!' - 'N!' 984 01:09:12,399 --> 01:09:13,650 - E! - E! 985 01:09:13,733 --> 01:09:15,527 - Give us a "T"!' - 'T!' 986 01:09:15,610 --> 01:09:18,613 We can't hear you! 987 01:09:18,697 --> 01:09:21,116 - Give us a "J"! - J! 988 01:09:50,896 --> 01:09:54,566 Oh, my God. Character actors. 989 01:09:54,691 --> 01:09:56,776 'Ladies and gentlemen... 990 01:09:56,860 --> 01:10:00,155 'the studio band will soon< be here to entertain you 991 01:10:00,238 --> 01:10:04,159 'in anticipation of tonight's premiere taping 992 01:10:04,242 --> 01:10:07,495 of Farley Flavours' Faith Factory.' 993 01:10:20,967 --> 01:10:24,262 And so if you're a follower of exotic trends in fashion, 994 01:10:24,346 --> 01:10:27,265 you'll find plenty to keep you going here tonight. 995 01:10:27,349 --> 01:10:29,392 And, naturally, feeling the excitement, 996 01:10:29,476 --> 01:10:32,020 and not wishing to stick out like a sore thumb, 997 01:10:32,103 --> 01:10:35,106 I had to get a little outfit of my own together. 998 01:10:35,190 --> 01:10:38,026 And this... 999 01:10:38,151 --> 01:10:40,070 is it. 1000 01:10:57,128 --> 01:10:59,130 'Ladies and gentlemen...' 1001 01:10:59,256 --> 01:11:01,800 to help get you in the mood for Faith Factory... 1002 01:11:01,925 --> 01:11:06,888 DTV proudly presents Denton's own... 1003 01:11:06,972 --> 01:11:10,767 with a suburban garage sound. 1004 01:11:10,850 --> 01:11:14,938 Let's hear it for Oscar Drill and the Bits! 1005 01:11:15,063 --> 01:11:16,773 Oh, Oliver. 1006 01:11:16,898 --> 01:11:19,734 This is one time charity didn't begin at home. 1007 01:11:19,818 --> 01:11:21,027 'One, two, three, four!' 1008 01:11:28,159 --> 01:11:33,415 ♪ I know how it feels to be coolin' my heels 1009 01:11:33,498 --> 01:11:36,751 ♪ I've been down on them long enough 1010 01:11:37,877 --> 01:11:41,464 ♪ But if I take to them now 1011 01:11:41,589 --> 01:11:44,551 ♪ Then maybe somehow 1012 01:11:44,634 --> 01:11:46,678 ♪ You'll see through the bluff 1013 01:11:46,761 --> 01:11:48,847 ♪ Of my playin' it tough 1014 01:11:51,099 --> 01:11:53,476 ♪ I've been a lifetime on deposit 1015 01:11:53,601 --> 01:11:56,396 ♪ And that's a long time in the closet 1016 01:11:56,521 --> 01:11:59,107 - ♪ And if you say to me - ♪ How was it 1017 01:11:59,190 --> 01:12:02,444 ♪ It was hard takin' that heartbreakin' 1018 01:12:02,527 --> 01:12:05,071 ♪ Godforsaken route But I'm... ♪ 1019 01:12:05,196 --> 01:12:08,074 - ♪ Buh-buh-buh-buh, buh-duh - ♪ Breakin' out 1020 01:12:09,451 --> 01:12:11,453 Whoo! 1021 01:12:12,537 --> 01:12:15,248 ♪ You may say that you choose 1022 01:12:15,373 --> 01:12:18,293 ♪ To be in my shoes 1023 01:12:18,418 --> 01:12:21,921 ♪ But look what it did for me 1024 01:12:23,715 --> 01:12:26,843 ♪ I got buried alive 1025 01:12:26,926 --> 01:12:29,888 ♪ I don't thrive on that jive 1026 01:12:30,013 --> 01:12:31,931 ♪ Look and you'll see 1027 01:12:32,057 --> 01:12:34,267 ♪ That my spikes don't fit me 1028 01:12:35,810 --> 01:12:38,730 ♪ I've been a lifetime on deposit 1029 01:12:38,855 --> 01:12:41,274 ♪ And that's a long time in the closet 1030 01:12:41,399 --> 01:12:43,985 - ♪ And if you say to me - ♪ How was it 1031 01:12:44,110 --> 01:12:47,530 ♪ It was hard takin' that heartbreakin'♪< 1032 01:12:47,655 --> 01:12:50,033 ♪ Godforsaken route 1033 01:12:50,158 --> 01:12:52,577 - ♪ But I'm-♪ - ♪ Buh-buh-buh-buh, buh-duh 1034 01:12:52,702 --> 01:12:54,662 - ♪ Breakin' out - Where are we goin'? 1035 01:12:54,746 --> 01:12:57,665 To a family reunion. 1036 01:12:57,791 --> 01:12:59,459 ♪ Breakin' out 1037 01:12:59,584 --> 01:13:02,337 - Breakin' out! - ♪ Breakin' out 1038 01:13:02,462 --> 01:13:05,006 ♪ Breakin' out ♪ 1039 01:13:18,353 --> 01:13:22,816 And she represents everything our customers want. 1040 01:13:22,899 --> 01:13:24,859 Innocence... 1041 01:13:24,943 --> 01:13:26,986 decency... 1042 01:13:27,070 --> 01:13:29,030 and the illusion of a happy ending. 1043 01:13:29,114 --> 01:13:32,075 Oh, jolly good, Mr. Flavours. 1044 01:13:34,035 --> 01:13:38,456 And behind her image, take-away therapy will thrive 1045 01:13:38,540 --> 01:13:43,670 under the capable hands of two great ethical intellects 1046 01:13:43,753 --> 01:13:46,047 operating on the frontiers of medical science. 1047 01:13:46,131 --> 01:13:48,049 - Huh? Huh? - Mac and Nation. 1048 01:13:48,133 --> 01:13:50,051 Mac and Nation. Yes. Great work. 1049 01:13:50,135 --> 01:13:53,346 And under the firm guidance 1050 01:13:53,430 --> 01:13:56,683 of a great survivor 1051 01:13:56,766 --> 01:13:59,644 in the treacherous sea of diplomacy, 1052 01:13:59,727 --> 01:14:01,729 our own Bert Schnick. 1053 01:14:01,813 --> 01:14:04,357 Huh? 1054 01:14:04,441 --> 01:14:07,152 - Now let's get this show on the road! - Hey! 1055 01:14:10,738 --> 01:14:14,576 Mr. Flavours, may I have a moment of your time? 1056 01:14:15,660 --> 01:14:17,579 Sure thing. 1057 01:14:17,662 --> 01:14:22,834 We've heard rumours that you're going to unveil more than just a new series tonight. 1058 01:14:22,917 --> 01:14:25,378 - Is this true? - Absolutely correct. 1059 01:14:25,462 --> 01:14:28,756 Could you tell us a little more about it? 1060 01:14:28,840 --> 01:14:31,009 Well, let just say... 1061 01:14:31,092 --> 01:14:35,763 we're planning on putting sanity back on the national menu. 1062 01:14:35,847 --> 01:14:39,309 And how does local girl Janet Majors 1063 01:14:39,392 --> 01:14:42,353 fit into the scheme of things? 1064 01:14:46,274 --> 01:14:48,193 Very... 1065 01:14:48,276 --> 01:14:50,236 nicely. 1066 01:14:55,575 --> 01:14:57,577 Brad? 1067 01:14:59,412 --> 01:15:01,498 And he's resented you all these years. 1068 01:15:01,581 --> 01:15:04,459 - And Janet? - She represents everything he was denied. 1069 01:15:04,542 --> 01:15:06,461 Oh. 1070 01:15:06,586 --> 01:15:12,342 'By satellite, Farley Flavours' Faith Factory.' 1071 01:15:12,467 --> 01:15:14,802 Ladies and gentlemen... 1072 01:15:14,886 --> 01:15:17,889 Denton's own, America's pride... 1073 01:15:18,014 --> 01:15:20,350 the world's example... 1074 01:15:20,475 --> 01:15:23,186 Janet, the sensation of the planet. 1075 01:15:23,311 --> 01:15:28,733 We bring you Miss Mental Health. 1076 01:15:38,243 --> 01:15:40,787 Isn't she lovely? 1077 01:15:42,080 --> 01:15:44,624 Mommy and Daddy love you, baby! 1078 01:15:44,749 --> 01:15:48,336 - She walks in beauty. - That's my little girl! 1079 01:15:54,926 --> 01:15:57,178 'Attagirl, Janet!' 1080 01:15:57,262 --> 01:15:59,889 'We love you, baby!' 1081 01:16:04,435 --> 01:16:06,479 'We all love Janet.' 1082 01:16:06,604 --> 01:16:09,315 - Who do we love? - 'Janet!' 1083 01:16:09,440 --> 01:16:12,151 Janet! 1084 01:16:12,235 --> 01:16:16,114 The dress Janet's wearing has been given by Crème de la Crème Modes of downtown Denton, 1085 01:16:16,197 --> 01:16:20,493 and we've been asked that you take note of the individual styling and exquisite tailoring. 1086 01:16:20,618 --> 01:16:24,330 This is just one of the many gifts so freely and generously given to Janet. 1087 01:16:24,414 --> 01:16:28,918 The first of, we hope, many. Miss Mental Health. 1088 01:16:36,217 --> 01:16:39,429 Ladies and gentlemen, the president. 1089 01:16:39,554 --> 01:16:41,723 The president's here! 1090 01:16:41,806 --> 01:16:43,766 Zoom in there. 1091 01:16:54,694 --> 01:17:00,241 Hi, I'm Irwin Lapsey, president of Lapsey Autos. 1092 01:17:01,659 --> 01:17:05,163 And I'm holding in my hand here some keys. 1093 01:17:05,246 --> 01:17:09,876 Keys which I would like to give to the little lady who's being so honoured here tonight. 1094 01:17:11,085 --> 01:17:13,755 And I want to tell you. If she takes these keys 1095 01:17:13,838 --> 01:17:16,215 she will find that they fit something. 1096 01:17:19,218 --> 01:17:23,306 And what that something is, is an almost brand-new 1097 01:17:23,431 --> 01:17:27,644 ultra-deluxe, eight-cylinder convertible, 1098 01:17:27,727 --> 01:17:32,190 complete with radio, tape deck, washable seat covers and many, many extras. 1099 01:17:32,315 --> 01:17:35,652 And it's all hers for absolutely free. 1100 01:17:49,499 --> 01:17:51,542 Well... 1101 01:17:51,626 --> 01:17:55,171 Janet's absolutely speechless, ladies and gentlemen. 1102 01:17:57,382 --> 01:17:59,550 But here's someone we do want to hear from. 1103 01:17:59,676 --> 01:18:02,637 A firm favourite of yours and mine. 1104 01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:04,972 You've revelled in his recipes. 1105 01:18:05,056 --> 01:18:07,350 You've marvelled at his marriage guidance. 1106 01:18:07,475 --> 01:18:11,813 The all-knowing, and now, all-seeing... 1107 01:18:11,938 --> 01:18:14,357 That's right! 1108 01:18:14,482 --> 01:18:18,528 Bert Schnick! 1109 01:18:27,870 --> 01:18:31,999 There. Down there. Come on, Betty. 1110 01:18:35,253 --> 01:18:37,588 Bert, you're beautiful! 1111 01:18:38,798 --> 01:18:41,467 - Hoopla, Denton! - Hoopla, Bert! 1112 01:18:41,592 --> 01:18:45,388 - Thank you. Welcome. - What's cooking, Bert? 1113 01:18:45,471 --> 01:18:49,684 I'll tell you what's cooking, buddy, and I'll tell you too, you guys. 1114 01:18:49,767 --> 01:18:54,063 She made the blind see, and it was a gift. 1115 01:18:54,188 --> 01:18:57,275 Who was the gift from? 1116 01:18:57,358 --> 01:19:01,028 - Let's hear an "F" for... - Farley! 1117 01:19:01,154 --> 01:19:05,199 - And another "F" for... - Flavours! 1118 01:19:29,056 --> 01:19:31,058 My friends! 1119 01:19:32,393 --> 01:19:36,355 And you are all my friends. 1120 01:19:36,439 --> 01:19:42,278 My friends, tonight we are taking the first step of defiance 1121 01:19:42,361 --> 01:19:47,074 and starting something that will grow so big 1122 01:19:47,158 --> 01:19:50,620 that the whole world will reverberate with its sound. 1123 01:19:50,745 --> 01:19:54,749 And wherever our slogan 1124 01:19:54,874 --> 01:19:58,336 "sanity and vanity" 1125 01:19:58,419 --> 01:20:00,755 is uttered, 1126 01:20:00,838 --> 01:20:05,051 it will be linked incontrovertibly with this night, 1127 01:20:05,134 --> 01:20:07,929 this station, 1128 01:20:08,012 --> 01:20:13,601 and this... beautiful face. 1129 01:20:17,855 --> 01:20:20,066 Huh? Come on! This way! 1130 01:20:29,909 --> 01:20:33,371 It's a crazy man! 1131 01:20:35,206 --> 01:20:38,543 - Seducer! - And who are you, sir? 1132 01:20:38,668 --> 01:20:42,505 - Your twin brother and your accuser! - Brad. 1133 01:20:42,630 --> 01:20:45,550 Arrest that man! He's committed to our care. 1134 01:20:46,843 --> 01:20:49,136 I never signed your contract. 1135 01:20:49,262 --> 01:20:52,306 He's not going anywhere. 1136 01:20:52,431 --> 01:20:55,268 To revenge your twin, you tried to abuse her. 1137 01:20:55,393 --> 01:20:57,395 A ridiculous accusation! 1138 01:20:57,478 --> 01:20:59,939 You force me to refuse her. 1139 01:21:02,483 --> 01:21:07,738 - Then why did you choose her? - Because of you, sir. 1140 01:21:07,864 --> 01:21:10,741 ♪ You're a loser 1141 01:21:10,825 --> 01:21:16,414 ♪ An abomination in the eyes of any sensitive man 1142 01:21:16,497 --> 01:21:20,209 ♪ And you're a blind-alley cruiser 1143 01:21:20,293 --> 01:21:23,421 ♪ Always headin' down a losin' straight 1144 01:21:23,504 --> 01:21:26,048 ♪ Dreamin' that you're screamin' at fate 1145 01:21:26,132 --> 01:21:29,302 ♪ You're a dead-end deadbeat nowhere mister 1146 01:21:29,385 --> 01:21:32,346 ♪ With a kisser like a Mississippi alligator sister 1147 01:21:32,430 --> 01:21:37,184 ♪ I've took as much of you as any man can 1148 01:21:37,268 --> 01:21:40,479 - ♪ You've lost your heart - ♪ You've lost your cause 1149 01:21:40,605 --> 01:21:43,357 ♪ You lost your baby when you lost your balls 1150 01:21:43,482 --> 01:21:46,027 ♪ You've lost your mind You've lost your grip 1151 01:21:46,152 --> 01:21:49,238 ♪ So say bye-bye 1152 01:21:49,363 --> 01:21:52,283 ♪ We lost our mom We lost our dad 1153 01:21:52,366 --> 01:21:56,078 ♪ And if I'm losin' you Well, that's too bad 1154 01:21:56,203 --> 01:21:59,081 ♪ Well, the best thing you could ever do 1155 01:21:59,165 --> 01:22:01,250 ♪ Is die 1156 01:22:01,375 --> 01:22:04,128 ♪ You're a failure 1157 01:22:04,253 --> 01:22:07,381 ♪ A malformation in the guise of many 1158 01:22:07,506 --> 01:22:09,926 ♪ An also-ran 1159 01:22:10,051 --> 01:22:13,596 ♪ And you're a weeper and a wailer 1160 01:22:13,721 --> 01:22:15,932 ♪ Always treadin' on the toes of the great 1161 01:22:17,308 --> 01:22:19,810 ♪ Generally spreading your weight 1162 01:22:19,936 --> 01:22:22,813 ♪ You're a spiteful, hateful asinine creature 1163 01:22:22,939 --> 01:22:25,733 ♪ A pupil with no scruples who knew better than the teacher 1164 01:22:25,858 --> 01:22:30,947 ♪ I've took as much of you as any man can 1165 01:22:31,072 --> 01:22:34,200 - ♪ You've lost your heart - ♪ You've lost your cause 1166 01:22:34,325 --> 01:22:37,370 ♪ You lost your baby when you lost your balls 1167 01:22:37,495 --> 01:22:40,414 ♪ You lost your mind when you lost your grip 1168 01:22:40,498 --> 01:22:42,708 ♪ So say bye-bye 1169 01:22:42,833 --> 01:22:46,003 ♪ We lost our home Our family 1170 01:22:46,128 --> 01:22:49,632 ♪ You've lost compassion Now you're losin' me 1171 01:22:49,757 --> 01:22:52,843 ♪ Well, the best thing you could ever do 1172 01:22:52,969 --> 01:22:55,554 ♪ Is die 1173 01:22:55,680 --> 01:23:00,893 ♪ Well, the best thing you could ever do is die 1174 01:23:01,018 --> 01:23:06,065 ♪ Well, the best thing you could ever do is die ♪ 1175 01:23:06,190 --> 01:23:08,985 Take no notice of him. He's mad. 1176 01:23:11,404 --> 01:23:14,198 I'm as sane as you are. 1177 01:23:14,323 --> 01:23:17,451 - Saner! - And he was only with us for one day. 1178 01:23:21,414 --> 01:23:24,875 They should be sent to the Danube at dawn. 1179 01:23:24,959 --> 01:23:26,877 What? 1180 01:23:26,961 --> 01:23:28,963 Just memories. 1181 01:23:33,843 --> 01:23:36,804 We'll edit the tapes. It'll never see airplay. 1182 01:23:36,887 --> 01:23:38,889 Um, I hope Mr. Flavours will accept apologies 1183 01:23:38,973 --> 01:23:41,851 on behalf of all of Denton for this unfortunate incident. 1184 01:23:41,934 --> 01:23:44,228 It seems everyone wants to be related to the great. 1185 01:23:44,353 --> 01:23:47,356 Damn right! 1186 01:23:47,481 --> 01:23:49,358 No offence. No offence. 1187 01:23:49,442 --> 01:23:53,195 On the contrary, this is a perfect example of what we're here to combat. 1188 01:24:07,668 --> 01:24:12,214 Out! Out! Out! Out! 1189 01:24:12,339 --> 01:24:15,301 Out! Out! Out! 1190 01:24:15,426 --> 01:24:17,887 Out! Out! Out! 1191 01:24:18,012 --> 01:24:20,806 Out! Out! Out! 1192 01:24:20,931 --> 01:24:24,685 Out! Out! Out! 1193 01:24:24,810 --> 01:24:27,938 Out! Out! Out! 1194 01:24:28,022 --> 01:24:33,152 Out! Out! Out! Out! Out! Out! 1195 01:24:33,277 --> 01:24:35,780 Out! Out! Out! 1196 01:24:35,905 --> 01:24:39,784 Do you see? You see, the way we got rid of that dirty little dish 1197 01:24:39,867 --> 01:24:43,412 is the way we're going to put the rest of our house in order, 1198 01:24:43,537 --> 01:24:45,664 including the upstairs! 1199 01:24:51,045 --> 01:24:53,547 Ah, yes, yes. Miss. You, yes. 1200 01:24:53,672 --> 01:24:55,633 Would you come up and help us to inaugurate... 1201 01:24:55,758 --> 01:24:59,804 Farley Flavours' Faith Factory, transmitting from coast to coast and continent to continent? 1202 01:24:59,887 --> 01:25:02,973 - You are Miss... Miss... - Macy. Macy Struthers. 1203 01:25:03,057 --> 01:25:06,685 Macy Struthers! 1204 01:25:10,856 --> 01:25:12,817 Who loves you, baby? 1205 01:25:16,070 --> 01:25:18,656 She let me down. 1206 01:25:22,034 --> 01:25:24,161 She let us all down! 1207 01:25:24,245 --> 01:25:27,832 Shut up, Emily, and listen to a success story. 1208 01:25:33,754 --> 01:25:36,173 This could be worse than the old series. 1209 01:25:36,257 --> 01:25:39,051 In the old series, we never had a convertible. 1210 01:25:42,221 --> 01:25:45,015 And remember, sanity today 1211 01:25:46,475 --> 01:25:50,521 is a springboard to the hygienic tomorrow. 1212 01:26:00,865 --> 01:26:04,451 Now will you follow me 1213 01:26:04,535 --> 01:26:08,038 down the DTV trail to Dentonvale? 1214 01:26:13,002 --> 01:26:16,463 Thanks, honey. They bought it. Now out of the way. That's right! 1215 01:26:16,589 --> 01:26:18,382 I can't stand it. 1216 01:26:18,465 --> 01:26:21,093 Everything good always happens to other people. 1217 01:26:38,944 --> 01:26:43,782 And fast-food giant, Farley Flavours has just given Miss Mental Health 1218 01:26:43,866 --> 01:26:47,828 what can only be described as an official kiss of approval. 1219 01:26:47,912 --> 01:26:49,955 And the crowd are loving it 1220 01:26:50,080 --> 01:26:53,000 as they follow her down the Dentonvale trail. 1221 01:26:53,083 --> 01:26:55,127 Hey, look! They're havin' a party. 1222 01:27:02,593 --> 01:27:05,596 Come on, you guys. We're gonna miss out on the action. 1223 01:27:05,721 --> 01:27:08,307 'Hurry! Get in there!' 1224 01:27:16,815 --> 01:27:19,526 ♪ Some people do it for compassion 1225 01:27:20,903 --> 01:27:25,032 ♪ Some people do it for the fashion 1226 01:27:25,115 --> 01:27:29,119 ♪ Some people do it to be funny 1227 01:27:29,203 --> 01:27:33,123 ♪ Some people do it for the money 1228 01:27:33,207 --> 01:27:36,961 ♪ Some people do it for enslavement 1229 01:27:37,044 --> 01:27:41,507 - ♪ Some people do it on the pavement - ♪ But 1230 01:27:41,632 --> 01:27:44,343 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1231 01:27:44,426 --> 01:27:47,471 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1232 01:27:47,554 --> 01:27:52,768 ♪ We're gonna do it no matter how the wind is blowing 1233 01:27:52,851 --> 01:27:55,562 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1234 01:27:55,646 --> 01:27:58,440 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1235 01:27:58,524 --> 01:28:02,695 ♪ We're gonna do it We just gotta keep going 1236 01:28:02,778 --> 01:28:05,489 ♪ Some people do it for each other 1237 01:28:05,572 --> 01:28:08,450 ♪ Some people do it for their lover 1238 01:28:08,575 --> 01:28:10,995 ♪ Some people do it for improvement 1239 01:28:11,120 --> 01:28:13,539 ♪ Some people do it for the movement 1240 01:28:13,664 --> 01:28:16,875 ♪ Some people do it for enjoyment 1241 01:28:17,001 --> 01:28:18,961 ♪ Some people do it for employment 1242 01:28:19,086 --> 01:28:20,921 ♪ But 1243 01:28:21,005 --> 01:28:23,674 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1244 01:28:23,757 --> 01:28:26,468 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1245 01:28:26,552 --> 01:28:32,057 ♪ We're gonna do it no matter how the wind is blowing 1246 01:28:32,141 --> 01:28:34,893 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1247 01:28:34,977 --> 01:28:38,022 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1248 01:28:38,105 --> 01:28:42,860 ♪ We're gonna do it We just gotta keep going 1249 01:28:44,987 --> 01:28:47,614 ♪ Denton, Denton You've got 1250 01:28:47,740 --> 01:28:50,075 ♪ No pretension 1251 01:28:50,159 --> 01:28:55,664 ♪ You're where the heart is You're okay 1252 01:28:55,748 --> 01:28:58,542 ♪ Denton, Denton You've got 1253 01:28:58,667 --> 01:29:01,003 ♪ No pretension 1254 01:29:01,086 --> 01:29:04,340 ♪ You're the acceptable face 1255 01:29:04,423 --> 01:29:06,592 ♪ Of the human race 1256 01:29:06,675 --> 01:29:11,221 ♪ You're Denton Denton, U.S.A. 1257 01:29:12,473 --> 01:29:15,142 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1258 01:29:15,225 --> 01:29:18,228 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1259 01:29:18,312 --> 01:29:22,900 ♪ We're gonna do it no matter how the wind is blowing 1260 01:29:22,983 --> 01:29:26,278 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow, anyhow 1261 01:29:26,362 --> 01:29:29,365 ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow anyhow 1262 01:29:29,448 --> 01:29:33,702 ♪ We're gonna do it We just gotta keep going 1263 01:29:33,786 --> 01:29:36,372 ♪ We just gotta keep going 1264 01:29:36,455 --> 01:29:39,750 ♪ We just gotta keep going 1265 01:29:44,922 --> 01:29:48,550 'The sun never sets on those who ride into it. 1266 01:29:48,634 --> 01:29:51,220 ♪ We just gotta keep going ♪ 1267 01:32:20,536 --> 01:32:24,248 ♪ I'm not a locum with motive to suture myself 1268 01:32:24,373 --> 01:32:27,626 ♪ I've been a cynic for too many years 1269 01:32:27,709 --> 01:32:31,547 ♪ Playin' doctor and nurse It can be good for your health 1270 01:32:31,672 --> 01:32:37,135 ♪ I've seen clinics with those gimmicks in Tangiers 1271 01:32:38,595 --> 01:32:43,267 ♪ But if you open your heart to a smooth operator 1272 01:32:43,392 --> 01:32:46,144 ♪ He'll take you for all that you've got 1273 01:32:46,228 --> 01:32:50,023 ♪ He'll hand you a curse that'll be with you later 1274 01:32:50,107 --> 01:32:55,862 ♪ It'll shake you the way he takes off like a shot 1275 01:32:55,946 --> 01:32:59,908 ♪ You need a bit of ooh, shock treatment 1276 01:32:59,992 --> 01:33:02,786 ♪ Get you jumpin' like a real live wire 1277 01:33:02,869 --> 01:33:06,999 ♪ You need a bit of ooh, shock treatment 1278 01:33:07,082 --> 01:33:10,085 ♪ So look out, mister Don't you blow your last resistor 1279 01:33:10,168 --> 01:33:13,463 ♪ For a vista that'll mystify ya 1280 01:33:15,465 --> 01:33:19,428 ♪ You're blinded by romance You're blinded by science 1281 01:33:19,511 --> 01:33:22,681 ♪ Your condition is critically grave 1282 01:33:22,764 --> 01:33:26,977 ♪ But don't expect mercy from such an alliance 1283 01:33:27,060 --> 01:33:32,774 ♪ Suspicion of tradition's so new wave 1284 01:33:32,858 --> 01:33:36,653 ♪ You need a bit of ooh, shock treatment 1285 01:33:36,737 --> 01:33:39,573 ♪ Gets you jumping like a real live wire 1286 01:33:39,656 --> 01:33:43,744 ♪ You need a bit of ooh, shock treatment 1287 01:33:43,827 --> 01:33:46,913 ♪ So look out, mister Don't you blow your last resistor 1288 01:33:46,997 --> 01:33:49,499 ♪ For a sister that'll certify you ♪ 94630