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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,298 Hey, Chocolate Bear. 2 00:00:01,318 --> 00:00:03,934 I didn't have time to shower this morning. Did you wax your dome? 3 00:00:03,975 --> 00:00:05,582 I sure did! Why? 4 00:00:11,987 --> 00:00:13,820 - Thanks, pal! - Uh-huh... 5 00:00:13,841 --> 00:00:15,098 Hold up! 6 00:00:17,180 --> 00:00:18,378 Chapped! 7 00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:20,782 Easy, Moose, that stuff is forty bucks a tin. 8 00:00:20,844 --> 00:00:24,716 "With the long hours at a hospital, you don't have time to worry about your appearance." 9 00:00:24,778 --> 00:00:29,701 "It may sound sexist, but with the female doctors, it's slightly more noticeable." 10 00:00:29,742 --> 00:00:32,831 Hey, Janice. Is it windy out? 11 00:00:32,873 --> 00:00:35,591 No. Why do you always ask me that!? 12 00:00:35,653 --> 00:00:38,887 Because I'm--I'm captain of m-m-my kite-flying team? 13 00:00:38,949 --> 00:00:41,317 The M-m-mighty Kites? 14 00:00:43,768 --> 00:00:45,787 "Agh! Okay, just say something innocuous." 15 00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:47,373 Good morning, gentlemen. 16 00:00:47,393 --> 00:00:49,989 "The truth is most of them don't even bother trying." 17 00:00:50,030 --> 00:00:52,254 - "Except of course..." - Hey, girlfriends! 18 00:00:54,499 --> 00:00:56,436 How do you have the time to look so good every morning? 19 00:01:11,059 --> 00:01:13,613 Oh, this? Heh. Yeah, it doesn't take long. 20 00:01:15,488 --> 00:01:18,227 "I guess everyone has their morning routines." 21 00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:23,686 Hi, cutie! Since you have so many balls and... 22 00:01:23,706 --> 00:01:26,549 too many toys can be over-stimulating for an infant, 23 00:01:26,610 --> 00:01:29,844 Brantley here was wondering if he could borrow one to play with! 24 00:01:29,885 --> 00:01:33,835 Oh, that's funny, because Jack here was just wondering why the crazy lady... 25 00:01:33,836 --> 00:01:37,479 who just spent the last hour chain smoking and talking on her cell phone while... 26 00:01:37,499 --> 00:01:42,429 her kid ate sand would come over to two complete strangers and give them parenting advice! 27 00:01:43,109 --> 00:01:45,560 He also thanked me for not naming him "Brantley"! 28 00:01:45,601 --> 00:01:47,269 Y-yeah. 29 00:01:50,379 --> 00:01:52,027 I love our family. 30 00:01:55,446 --> 00:01:57,549 'Married With Children'? Awesome! 31 00:01:57,573 --> 00:01:59,792 - Has Kelly been on yet? - Here she comes. 32 00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:01,353 "Hi, Daddy!" 33 00:02:02,316 --> 00:02:04,289 Anyway, where's Danni? We're gonna be late for our movie. 34 00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:09,349 Stop. Lemme just go grab a sweater. 35 00:02:09,432 --> 00:02:11,463 I love you... 36 00:02:12,954 --> 00:02:14,468 Wow, she's using the "L" word now. 37 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,030 Yeeeaaah, but we're not really that serious. 38 00:02:17,286 --> 00:02:18,860 This isn't the movies? 39 00:02:18,901 --> 00:02:20,321 I just wanted you to see this. 40 00:02:20,333 --> 00:02:23,721 Because if I move here permanently, this would be the type of place we could afford. 41 00:02:36,273 --> 00:02:37,635 Out of body experience? 42 00:02:37,666 --> 00:02:38,815 Yeah. 43 00:02:38,828 --> 00:02:40,943 She wants to move in together. I have to break up with her! 44 00:02:40,970 --> 00:02:43,103 Dude, relax. Enjoy the show. 45 00:02:43,140 --> 00:02:45,014 Have a Bugle. 46 00:02:46,198 --> 00:02:47,948 Ooh, your ghost hands is cold! 47 00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:49,921 J.D.!? 48 00:02:50,994 --> 00:02:53,916 I wanted to put them on my fingers and pretend I had witch nails. 49 00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:56,036 - What?! - Nothing. 50 00:03:16,871 --> 00:03:21,062 I just can't believe how comfortable I've gotten talking to you over these last few months. 51 00:03:21,613 --> 00:03:24,226 I mean, look, I'd still be with my old shrink if I hadn't... 52 00:03:24,236 --> 00:03:27,481 cut across the park the day of the renaissance faire and realized... 53 00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:30,578 that the man I tell my innermost secrets to likes to... 54 00:03:30,706 --> 00:03:35,016 likes to put on a big, giant beard and make pretend that he is a blacksmith. 55 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:39,425 A-a-a-anyway, something weird's been going on with me lately. 56 00:03:39,455 --> 00:03:43,331 I have been sleeping more, I've been drinking alone... less... 57 00:03:43,380 --> 00:03:45,501 I've even started complimenting people. 58 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:48,410 Oh, come on! Get your pump on! 59 00:03:48,420 --> 00:03:52,080 God help me, Sluggo, if you get any more buff, I'll be absolutely sure that you're gay! 60 00:03:52,108 --> 00:03:54,821 Oh, I'm gonna get more buff! 61 00:03:58,569 --> 00:04:00,818 Dr. Cox never compliments me about anything! 62 00:04:00,897 --> 00:04:02,337 Well, he should. 63 00:04:02,465 --> 00:04:05,059 Your new look has completely changed my perspective. 64 00:04:05,483 --> 00:04:09,330 For instance, this is not a broom with fraying edges... 65 00:04:09,429 --> 00:04:12,575 this is now a broom that reminds me of blonde doctor's bangs. 66 00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:14,873 Tough and spunky! 67 00:04:14,883 --> 00:04:18,177 Oh, my God! That is exactly the look that I was going for! 68 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:20,574 - Really!? - Yeah! 69 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,322 Shoobity-doo! Hey! 70 00:04:24,371 --> 00:04:26,285 How 'bout I give you a ride to your next destination? 71 00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:30,319 To the morgue! 72 00:04:32,223 --> 00:04:34,018 - Watch it! - Hey! 73 00:04:35,951 --> 00:04:37,520 So, did you break up with her? 74 00:04:37,530 --> 00:04:39,423 I was going to last night... 75 00:04:39,463 --> 00:04:42,391 but then I looked in her eyes, and I realized how rare... 76 00:04:42,401 --> 00:04:45,607 it is to meet someone who's actually willing to have sex with me. 77 00:04:45,617 --> 00:04:48,033 How did you have sex with the woman you're about to break up with? 78 00:04:48,072 --> 00:04:51,436 Okay, you know how the, uh, couch in the living room has those high arms? 79 00:04:51,465 --> 00:04:52,807 Babe, you gotta understand, 80 00:04:52,846 --> 00:04:56,377 a guy will sleep with any woman he finds attractive, no matter how he feels about her. 81 00:04:56,397 --> 00:05:00,618 If Tyra Banks drove her car over my mom and then offered to have sex with me? 82 00:05:00,815 --> 00:05:04,090 I'd have to dial 9-1-1 in the nude because my pants would already be off! 83 00:05:04,267 --> 00:05:06,920 That's sweet! While your mother lays there dying! 84 00:05:07,285 --> 00:05:09,228 - Tell her. - His mom doesn't die. 85 00:05:09,248 --> 00:05:11,704 Tyra uses her connections in the supermodel world to get... 86 00:05:11,734 --> 00:05:15,718 government scientists to put Turk's mom's brain into Heidi Klum's body. 87 00:05:15,758 --> 00:05:18,707 She falls in love with me, we all move in together. 88 00:05:18,767 --> 00:05:21,706 It'd be awkward at first, but I'd make it work... 89 00:05:22,317 --> 00:05:23,905 'Cause I love my mom. 90 00:05:23,984 --> 00:05:26,104 Mm, and I would love her, too. 91 00:05:26,637 --> 00:05:28,245 New low. 92 00:05:31,439 --> 00:05:34,605 Oh, Mrs. Gorski, I know shingles are never fun. 93 00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:37,338 Unless you're talking about the games we made up the summer my parents got a new roof. 94 00:05:37,358 --> 00:05:40,987 It was kind of like Hide & Seek, only we'd throw shingles at each other? 95 00:05:41,402 --> 00:05:43,640 Ahh, summer time... Still... 96 00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:47,389 a positive attitude can go a long way in helping you feel better, so let's see a big ol' smile! 97 00:05:48,661 --> 00:05:51,876 Excuse me. Can I borrow Dr. Reid? 98 00:05:51,955 --> 00:05:53,859 You may keep her. 99 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:58,908 Here at Sacred Heart, I like to think that our patients choose our hospital... 100 00:05:58,948 --> 00:06:03,110 not only because I leak vicious rumors about competing hospitals to the press, 101 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:06,966 but also because when they see one of our doctors they think, 102 00:06:07,282 --> 00:06:09,343 "Now that's a professional!" 103 00:06:09,373 --> 00:06:12,479 Um, I don't think I look unprofessional. 104 00:06:12,815 --> 00:06:16,813 I've let this whole new look thing slide the last few months, 105 00:06:16,821 --> 00:06:19,216 but now that your colleagues are beginning to complain 106 00:06:19,226 --> 00:06:22,559 I'm going to give you the same advice I give my son every morning. 107 00:06:24,048 --> 00:06:26,356 Lose the makeup! Get a haircut! 108 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,276 And stop using my razor to shave your fun zone! 109 00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:37,216 - I hate missing practice. - Me too. 110 00:06:37,985 --> 00:06:40,312 Mighty Kiiiiites! 111 00:06:40,332 --> 00:06:42,009 Morning, class. 112 00:06:42,018 --> 00:06:45,266 As residency director, it is my pleasure to have both surgical... 113 00:06:45,267 --> 00:06:48,167 and medical personnel here with us today. 114 00:06:48,183 --> 00:06:51,684 In fact, in this room we have enough brain power to light up a city! 115 00:06:51,832 --> 00:06:55,548 Not a real city, mind you, but... definitely a tiny ant city... 116 00:06:55,549 --> 00:07:00,088 whose government has recently passed a series of stringent energy conservation laws! 117 00:07:00,512 --> 00:07:02,287 Stringent what? 118 00:07:02,977 --> 00:07:05,256 "Stringent updoc". 119 00:07:05,354 --> 00:07:06,913 It's happening. 120 00:07:07,169 --> 00:07:08,895 Yes, Nervous Guy? 121 00:07:08,925 --> 00:07:10,621 What's "updoc"? 122 00:07:11,923 --> 00:07:14,428 Okay, people, biphasic defibrillators. 123 00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:17,703 How many of you had a chance to practice on the mannequin? 124 00:07:18,824 --> 00:07:20,245 Oh, yeah. 125 00:07:20,296 --> 00:07:22,190 With the defibrillator...? 126 00:07:24,479 --> 00:07:27,970 And I assume none of you have even looked at the literature. 127 00:07:29,045 --> 00:07:32,877 I didn't do anything. No yelling, no breaking stuff, nothing. 128 00:07:32,901 --> 00:07:34,548 And right then... 129 00:07:34,608 --> 00:07:36,699 I figured out what's different. 130 00:07:36,728 --> 00:07:40,605 I figured out what that feeling was that I was having in the park the other day with my family. 131 00:07:40,713 --> 00:07:42,419 I'm... 132 00:07:42,765 --> 00:07:44,372 happy. 133 00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:46,788 Now does that not just make you sick? 134 00:07:49,422 --> 00:07:51,514 Dude, with Danni you just gotta keep your eyes on the prize. 135 00:07:51,533 --> 00:07:54,985 Focus in on how great it is to be single! Chasing tail! 136 00:07:55,035 --> 00:07:56,475 Hell, I miss it every day. 137 00:07:56,494 --> 00:07:58,664 Oh, you don't care if you ever have sex again, do you? 138 00:07:58,674 --> 00:08:01,041 Baby, listen, I'm just trying to keep my man psyched, 139 00:08:01,061 --> 00:08:03,645 'cause since I've known J.D., he's never broken up with anyone. 140 00:08:03,664 --> 00:08:05,568 He's right. I don't like hurting people. 141 00:08:05,588 --> 00:08:07,511 But with Danni, I'm gonna do the honorable thing... 142 00:08:07,551 --> 00:08:11,220 I'm gonna have someone in a fireman's outfit tell her I burned to death. 143 00:08:11,318 --> 00:08:15,875 Bambi, you owe her closure. Hell, you owe it to every woman you've ever dated. 144 00:08:17,433 --> 00:08:19,011 Listen, Danni.... 145 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,221 Lisa.... 146 00:08:21,694 --> 00:08:25,215 Drunk girl who was friends with the girl I really wanted to hook up with... 147 00:08:25,363 --> 00:08:27,563 It's not all of you. 148 00:08:27,592 --> 00:08:29,249 It's me. 149 00:08:30,679 --> 00:08:32,445 Scott Gerber?! 150 00:08:32,474 --> 00:08:35,364 At soccer camp, I told you I wanted to be more than friends. 151 00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:37,465 I thought you meant teammates! 152 00:08:37,504 --> 00:08:39,793 Well, I didn't! 153 00:08:40,325 --> 00:08:42,397 He used to... borrow my jersey and... 154 00:08:42,446 --> 00:08:45,080 wear it as jammies... 155 00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:51,175 Hey, Danni, it's me. What are you up to? 156 00:08:51,647 --> 00:08:53,569 - I'm keeping busy. - "Oh, that's great." 157 00:08:53,592 --> 00:08:55,824 Uh, listen, something's been on my mind... 158 00:08:55,859 --> 00:08:56,775 "Me too." 159 00:08:56,799 --> 00:09:00,873 I just feel like my life is so scattered lately and you're the only good thing I have going right now. 160 00:09:01,378 --> 00:09:02,963 - Awesome. - How's he doing? 161 00:09:02,998 --> 00:09:04,959 The boy's got no biscuits. 162 00:09:04,995 --> 00:09:07,108 I am trying to break someone's heart here, okay!? 163 00:09:07,131 --> 00:09:09,984 I'm feeling really bummed. Do you have a second to talk? 164 00:09:10,055 --> 00:09:14,411 Actually, I'm kinda swamped right now, uh, let me get back to you, okay? 165 00:09:15,245 --> 00:09:17,029 Elliot, what's wrong? 166 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,341 - Eh, forget it, you're busy. - Come on! 167 00:09:20,470 --> 00:09:22,395 I always have time for you! 168 00:09:23,252 --> 00:09:26,082 Have the other doctors been making fun of the way I look? 169 00:09:26,493 --> 00:09:28,008 - What? No! No way! - Huh? I've never heard anything... 170 00:09:28,032 --> 00:09:29,288 - ...like that! Why? - Why would you say that? 171 00:09:29,311 --> 00:09:30,967 Hell, yeah. 172 00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:35,136 Only the girl ones, and you know, they're all "Mrreeeoww!!" 173 00:09:35,511 --> 00:09:38,212 - Cat fight? - Sorry, Todd! 174 00:09:38,259 --> 00:09:41,734 Let's try and be a little more careful when we use that noise, okay? 175 00:09:41,945 --> 00:09:43,225 God! 176 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,985 Honestly, I haven't been this happy since Christmas... 177 00:09:47,011 --> 00:09:50,581 when I was seven years old and my father showed me how to make a snow angel. 178 00:09:51,197 --> 00:09:53,898 Actually, he was passed out drunk in the yard but... 179 00:09:53,933 --> 00:09:58,336 I did take his arms and his legs and move them back and forth... and... 180 00:09:58,454 --> 00:10:02,023 th-the paramedics said it was one of the finest snow angels that they'd ever seen, so... 181 00:10:02,786 --> 00:10:05,863 maybe the fact that I am the kinder, gentler... 182 00:10:05,886 --> 00:10:09,056 Cox is every last bit of okay. Maybe it's a... 183 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,276 a natural progression. 184 00:10:11,323 --> 00:10:14,857 It's not like there's any real ramifications... 185 00:10:15,550 --> 00:10:17,252 Right? 186 00:10:18,778 --> 00:10:22,207 What the hell, there, Pee-Pants? Are you... the only one here? 187 00:10:22,435 --> 00:10:24,772 I drew the short straw, so I have to press record on... 188 00:10:24,783 --> 00:10:26,798 all the tape players when you start the lecture. 189 00:10:27,056 --> 00:10:29,076 Of course you do, but you don't actually expect me-- 190 00:10:37,002 --> 00:10:38,786 Where is everybody? 191 00:10:38,857 --> 00:10:41,804 They all had really important things to do? 192 00:10:43,013 --> 00:10:44,997 Hello, citizens! 193 00:10:45,126 --> 00:10:46,841 Welcome to Sacred Heart! 194 00:10:46,876 --> 00:10:50,035 Home of the world's most giant doctor! 195 00:10:50,058 --> 00:10:53,534 Be not afraid! I'm just like you! 196 00:10:53,581 --> 00:10:55,577 Except I'm giant! 197 00:10:56,410 --> 00:10:58,312 My tush is chafing. 198 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:01,799 All right! My turn to get on top! 199 00:11:01,846 --> 00:11:04,477 Turk, we tried playing Giant Black Guy. Remember what happened? 200 00:11:04,535 --> 00:11:06,015 - People ran. - Damn! 201 00:11:06,390 --> 00:11:08,140 Besides, I gotta go deal with this whole Danni thing. 202 00:11:08,163 --> 00:11:10,183 You want me to just talk to her for you? I'll do it. 203 00:11:10,282 --> 00:11:12,128 Nah, that's weak. I mean, if someone doesn't care about you enough... 204 00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:14,879 to break up with you themselves, it's like they didn't ever care about you at all. 205 00:11:14,938 --> 00:11:16,195 Hey, guys. 206 00:11:16,348 --> 00:11:18,625 Ohh! J.D., Danni's breaking up with you. 207 00:11:18,637 --> 00:11:21,232 Mm, darn. See ya! 208 00:11:21,291 --> 00:11:23,075 What? 209 00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:26,798 Guys, how many times do I have to tell you? Stop wearing my coat! 210 00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:29,487 Sorry about that, Chet! 211 00:11:36,532 --> 00:11:39,397 Which one of these is Chet's? We gotta put this coat back. 212 00:11:39,455 --> 00:11:41,287 Oh... I think it's this one. 213 00:11:41,463 --> 00:11:44,340 Dude, look at the size of this Odor-Eater! We could surf on it! 214 00:11:44,351 --> 00:11:47,099 I still don't understand why Danni's breaking up with me, man. I gotta go talk to her. 215 00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:51,796 Okay, first of all, words cannot describe the smell that is currently on my cheek. 216 00:11:51,971 --> 00:11:55,000 You get out clean, and now you wanna go back in just 'cause she rejected you? 217 00:11:55,329 --> 00:11:56,914 Who else is that crazy? 218 00:11:58,242 --> 00:12:00,825 Not one resident showed up. 219 00:12:00,860 --> 00:12:03,126 Not one. Would you like to know why? 220 00:12:03,608 --> 00:12:06,414 Because they're not scared of me anymore. 221 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,891 And I blame you... yes. 222 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:11,099 You have turned me into this soft, 223 00:12:11,123 --> 00:12:15,725 emotionally open, pathetic freak at home, and now it's starting to bleed over into work. 224 00:12:15,831 --> 00:12:22,818 - "...Happy birthday to you!" - "And many more!" 225 00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:25,330 Oh, my... oh, my God! 226 00:12:25,981 --> 00:12:27,073 Happy birthday! 227 00:12:27,132 --> 00:12:29,985 Oh, dammit, people, I've been here twenty-three years. 228 00:12:30,021 --> 00:12:32,539 For the last time, I'm allergic to coconut! 229 00:12:33,456 --> 00:12:36,438 Elliot... Have you been in the supply closet, crying? 230 00:12:36,473 --> 00:12:38,845 Carla... I don't do that anymore! 231 00:12:41,711 --> 00:12:44,282 Oh, my God! I look like Alice Cooper! 232 00:12:44,752 --> 00:12:47,453 You know, I shouldn't have to feel bad for wanting to look good. 233 00:12:47,582 --> 00:12:51,045 You don't, what with your bohemian scarves and... 234 00:12:51,068 --> 00:12:54,567 - pirate earrings. - Thank you for noticing. 235 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:57,902 But still, it's different for nurses, we're not judged for being feminine. 236 00:12:57,984 --> 00:12:59,628 But when you're a doctor, 237 00:12:59,675 --> 00:13:02,366 if you put in too much effort the men will never take you seriously... 238 00:13:02,367 --> 00:13:04,899 and the women will think you're trying to show them up. 239 00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:08,739 It's a dumb stereotype. You just have to decide if it's worth the hassle. 240 00:13:16,817 --> 00:13:18,637 Laverne! 241 00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:20,574 Good cake, though. 242 00:13:22,195 --> 00:13:23,804 Hellooo? 243 00:13:26,872 --> 00:13:27,976 Little piece of advice: 244 00:13:27,998 --> 00:13:30,491 Your honker's cute in person. Peep-hole? Not your friend. 245 00:13:30,555 --> 00:13:34,659 Ha! I'm sorry, did I interrupt you from trying to eat your baby? 246 00:13:35,932 --> 00:13:37,024 Danni's not here. 247 00:13:37,048 --> 00:13:38,926 Look, do you know how hard it was for me to come here? 248 00:13:41,540 --> 00:13:43,172 - Gotcha! - Oooog! Oh, God... 249 00:13:43,184 --> 00:13:45,427 Not getting up until you come to your senses. 250 00:13:45,462 --> 00:13:47,411 Get your coffee on, dawg. 251 00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:53,904 Say what you want, those big round cheeks are warm in the morning... 252 00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:54,896 What? 253 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,995 I just wanna know why she broke up with me. 254 00:13:57,019 --> 00:13:59,893 Well, why don't you just... hey! Ask her yourself! 255 00:14:02,343 --> 00:14:04,975 Not cool. 256 00:14:06,751 --> 00:14:08,595 Now, there you go, sweetheart! 257 00:14:08,618 --> 00:14:11,699 Now you look more like a doctor and less like a lap-dance! 258 00:14:12,429 --> 00:14:14,702 Thank you, sir. 259 00:14:17,954 --> 00:14:19,805 Floor's wet. 260 00:14:19,857 --> 00:14:22,750 You know, I liked the way blonde-haired doctor looked. 261 00:14:22,828 --> 00:14:26,529 She brightened my day. But you don't care, do ya? 262 00:14:26,660 --> 00:14:29,084 'Cause you're unconscious. 263 00:14:29,866 --> 00:14:32,029 So I... 264 00:14:32,081 --> 00:14:35,522 I'm pretty much thinking it's time to get the fear back. 265 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,581 And I'm sorry, but I think life is just too short to spend... 266 00:14:38,582 --> 00:14:42,481 your time working someplace where people don't crap their pants at the mere sight of ya. 267 00:14:43,653 --> 00:14:46,522 Okay, listen up, people, because this part is crucial. 268 00:14:46,523 --> 00:14:49,622 In order to use the biphasic defibrillator, we have to-- 269 00:14:50,769 --> 00:14:53,088 Sorry I'm late. 270 00:14:55,121 --> 00:14:57,884 Hey, Elliot. Is it greasy outside? 271 00:15:00,073 --> 00:15:03,800 Oh, that is so stupid. Elliot, you look... smart. 272 00:15:04,687 --> 00:15:07,293 - Hello? - Of course I'm smart -- I'm a doctor! 273 00:15:07,371 --> 00:15:09,926 "What's up, doc?" I just got it! 274 00:15:10,037 --> 00:15:12,162 Maybe that's why Danni wants to break up with me, she thinks I'm too smart! 275 00:15:12,186 --> 00:15:13,549 You're dating a guy named Danny? 276 00:15:13,647 --> 00:15:15,203 Is he hot? 277 00:15:15,911 --> 00:15:18,035 Listen... I know it's a clich�, 278 00:15:18,058 --> 00:15:21,128 but Sander say that it is indeed the calm before the storm... 279 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,228 that lets you know that danger's coming. 280 00:15:30,482 --> 00:15:32,541 First off, let me just say... 281 00:15:32,586 --> 00:15:33,896 thank you 282 00:15:33,941 --> 00:15:37,777 For the last couple of months I have been adrift in a sea of... 283 00:15:37,802 --> 00:15:39,536 puppy dogs, lollipops, 284 00:15:39,570 --> 00:15:42,066 and, let's face it, mediocre metaphors. 285 00:15:42,234 --> 00:15:44,484 Luckily, you people were kind enough to... 286 00:15:44,506 --> 00:15:47,820 piss all over learning a procedure that could... 287 00:15:47,842 --> 00:15:51,637 determine whether some poor sucker lives or dies, and... 288 00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:54,883 that reminded me of something that I... 289 00:15:54,917 --> 00:15:57,055 wanted to remind YOU of. 290 00:15:57,099 --> 00:15:58,767 Because, you see, I... 291 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:01,063 am accountable. 292 00:16:01,801 --> 00:16:05,585 I am accountable for the continuous, crashing, undeniable... 293 00:16:05,619 --> 00:16:10,398 amateurism that you people drag into this hospital day in and day out. 294 00:16:11,316 --> 00:16:14,584 And believe you me when I tell you that the next time one of you... 295 00:16:14,629 --> 00:16:18,670 perpetual disappointments doesn't even have the common decency... 296 00:16:18,715 --> 00:16:22,465 to try and do better at something you supposedly DO? 297 00:16:23,830 --> 00:16:26,830 I will go ahead and toss your sorry ass outta here in about... 298 00:16:26,841 --> 00:16:30,956 ten seconds and then I will forget you forever in the next five. 299 00:16:34,017 --> 00:16:36,278 Okaaay! Nervous Guy! 300 00:16:36,323 --> 00:16:38,765 Bring that nervous butt up here, lose the shirt. 301 00:16:38,788 --> 00:16:41,160 We're gonna show these good people how this thing works. 302 00:16:45,795 --> 00:16:47,004 Nice tan, there, champ. 303 00:16:47,028 --> 00:16:48,556 - Thanks? - Clear! 304 00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:56,269 "After Dr. Cox exploded at us, so many thoughts were racing through my head." 305 00:16:56,604 --> 00:16:58,810 "We have been slacking off lately." 306 00:16:58,898 --> 00:17:01,484 "How did Doug get such incredible abs?" 307 00:17:01,786 --> 00:17:03,588 "And what the hell is the deal with Danni?" 308 00:17:03,609 --> 00:17:05,664 - Hey! - Hey. 309 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:11,457 After you dressed up Rowdy, did you trim the clumpy areas around his butt? 310 00:17:12,396 --> 00:17:14,721 - Yeah...? - Oh... 311 00:17:15,028 --> 00:17:18,218 Thanks. He was due for a good grooming. 312 00:17:19,628 --> 00:17:21,039 Look... 313 00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:24,106 - Just tell me why. - Your cell phone wasn't turned off. 314 00:17:24,442 --> 00:17:26,748 - What? - When you called me. 315 00:17:27,498 --> 00:17:31,215 Actually I'm swamped, Danni. Sorry, I gotta go. 316 00:17:32,950 --> 00:17:34,774 Elliot, what's wrong? 317 00:17:36,672 --> 00:17:38,569 Oh... Forget it, you're busy. 318 00:17:38,614 --> 00:17:41,513 "Come on! I always have time for you!" 319 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:45,353 That stupid phone! You know, that's the same way Turk found out I collect scarves! 320 00:17:46,039 --> 00:17:48,868 - Ooooh! - J.D.-- 321 00:17:48,924 --> 00:17:52,416 You're still not over Elliot. And until you are, 322 00:17:52,886 --> 00:17:55,752 no one's ever gonna have a chance to get close to you. 323 00:17:55,786 --> 00:17:57,196 Right? 324 00:17:59,815 --> 00:18:01,718 That silence? 325 00:18:01,763 --> 00:18:03,778 That's you breaking up with me. 326 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:12,631 Hey! I finally broke up with someone! 327 00:18:28,402 --> 00:18:30,697 - How you doing, Elliot? - Great! 328 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:34,201 I figure I spend three quarters of my life in a place filled with misery and sickness. 329 00:18:34,212 --> 00:18:37,335 If I need to feel good about myself, then the hell with everybody! 330 00:18:37,670 --> 00:18:41,308 And for what it's worth, I think you look beautiful, I wouldn't change a thing. 331 00:18:42,707 --> 00:18:44,912 Ohh.... Oh! I did, uh, tone down the eye makeup a little bit. 332 00:18:44,968 --> 00:18:47,207 Oh, thank God! You looked so slutty. 333 00:18:52,111 --> 00:18:55,088 There! All done. 334 00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:57,719 I look hot! 335 00:18:59,107 --> 00:19:01,928 "Everybody has their own way of getting through the day." 336 00:19:07,155 --> 00:19:10,558 "For some, it's as simple as standing up for a friend..." 337 00:19:11,387 --> 00:19:13,267 "and getting away with it." 338 00:19:15,965 --> 00:19:18,428 "For others, it's talking things out with someone." 339 00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:22,301 I--I know what you're thinking, believe me, I...I do. 340 00:19:22,737 --> 00:19:26,723 Why in the world would a civilized, up-town man of the millennium such as myself... 341 00:19:26,745 --> 00:19:30,149 even go ahead and give a good rat's ass about whether a bunch of... 342 00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:33,841 snot-nosed baby docs were afraid of him. 343 00:19:33,842 --> 00:19:36,146 Right? Well... 344 00:19:36,846 --> 00:19:40,028 unfortunately the only way I know how to teach is through... 345 00:19:40,055 --> 00:19:41,532 fear. 346 00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:44,253 And I tell YOU this because... 347 00:19:44,275 --> 00:19:47,197 I know that this particular shortcoming... 348 00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:50,454 will invariably affect your life. 349 00:19:53,555 --> 00:19:54,887 And again, 350 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:57,182 sorry about the gay sailor's outfit. 351 00:19:57,215 --> 00:19:59,409 Your mother LOVES it. 352 00:19:59,454 --> 00:20:02,488 She couldn't be more pleasant when you have it on. Take it off... 353 00:20:02,522 --> 00:20:05,421 nut bag, have it on... pleasant, approachable.... 354 00:20:09,931 --> 00:20:14,162 "As for me, if I'm not over Elliot, I might as well wait it out for the long haul." 355 00:20:14,375 --> 00:20:17,509 "After all, it doesn't mean I'm gonna ignore opportunity if it falls in my lap." 356 00:20:17,598 --> 00:20:20,330 - Hey! Sheila! - Leave me alone. 357 00:20:20,341 --> 00:20:22,703 - Okay...! - J.D. 358 00:20:22,736 --> 00:20:25,624 Let's get going. Sean's calling me at home in like ten minutes. 359 00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:28,512 "Oh, this is gonna suck." 360 00:20:30,513 --> 00:20:33,513 Transcript: http://scrubs.mopnt.com 361 00:20:34,513 --> 00:20:38,513 Synchronisation: Boberman. 29912

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