All language subtitles for Scrubs - 3x07 - My Fifteen Seconds.eng

It's always nice when someone from
Carla's family comes to town....

Mostly because she cleans our apartment.

Why is there a pancake
in the silverware drawer?

You mean, why is there silverware
in the pancake drawer? Wuhuh!!

Hey, those nuts are for my
brother, please don't eat 'em all!

Baby, why you makin' such a big deal
about your brother coming, anyway?

He's my baby brother! I
practically raised him!

Now, I want you to try and
get along with him this time?

If you do, I promise to
fulfill that fantasy of yours

but not with the weird outfit, and none of those crazy toys.

So we'd just have normal sex....

If I'm not sleepy!

Deal.

What's up with you and her brother, anyway?
Did something happen at her mother's funeral?

Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Just so you know, this is a rental and
I got the mileage right up here, so no joy-rides, comprende?

Turk! This is my brother, Marco!

Sorry for your loss....

I mean, who wears a vest
to a funeral, anyway, man?

The amazing thing wasn't that
Carla's brother hated Turk...

Marco!!!

Carla!!!

...it was that he was able to keep it up
without even speaking the same language.

Okay.

Esta J.D.

Y te conoce Turk.

What's happening?

Jackass.

Dude, you were wearin' a vest! Vesto!

Still, I had my own problems.

Even though she had a boyfriend,
I was still crazy about Elliot.

And, God bless her, she
wasn't making it any easier.

Hey.

What are you doing?

All the beds are taken. Scoot.

Bunk with The Todd!

J.D., you know that
he is a sleep humper.

Sometimes when I'm banging this mattress,
I'm thinking about banging that one!

Hello? ... Sean!? Where are you? ...

The west coast of New Zealand? I'm in
the on-call room! ... Hey, J.D.'s here!

J.D., say hi!

Uh!?

Oh! You wanted to keep talking?

How are you supposed to get over someone
when you have to be around them all the time?

This night could not get any worse.

Todd! You're having a dream! Wake up!

Dude, I am awake.

I'm having second thoughts
about our giant nanny.

She's lovely and all, but every time the fridge is
empty, she looks at our son like he's a plate of ribs.

Well, you shoulda let me hire the really skinny model.
At least if she ate Jack, she'd throw him up right after.

I got board meetings all day, but
I'll see you for dinner tonight.

Bye, wife

Rreowr.

Doug! Doug!

I don't wanna be a doctor!

Awww.

Fine. I'm gonna go ahead
and tell you how it ends:

Dr. Phil says, "And how...is
that working out...for you?"

And the big fat lady cries, "Wah."

All right, I'm sure you're wondering why I accepted the position
of residency director considering my disdain for, well...all of you.

Is it the extra four dollars
a week in my paycheck?

Or is it the fact that I finally have a chance to
make a difference in this God-forsaken hell-hole.

It's all about the
four dollars, trust me.

And seeing as my money is contingent on
you lemmings actually doing your jobs,

I would say that now is a pretty good
time for you to scurry on back to work

so that I can continue to afford the
antidepressants that keep me so damn jolly.

GO!!!

Say, Angela....

Oh, I think he means me, Angela.

I wonder what I did now.

Lookit, this new gig is a great opportunity
for me, and I--I want it to go well.

And, for some reason, all these other
bobble-heads seem to look up to you,

so it would make my life one hell of a
lot easier if you got in line behind me.

No problem.

I guess people can surprise you.

We'd still die.

We'd still what?

If the elevator cable snapped,

even if we timed it out perfectly
and jumped up right before impact,

we'd still be crushed to death.

I wish I'd taken the stairs.

Me too.

Sorry, sometimes I just have this
inner monologue running through my head.

Inner monologue? Weirdo!

That's my floor.

Lucky bastard.

Look, Mr. Shiny Head over there
is pretending not to watch us.

You say something and I'll laugh
so he thinks we're mocking him.

Marco, I'm not going to do that.

That's enough.

What'd I miss?

It's come to my attention...

Something's come to his attention.

...that some family members of our
critically ill patients have been complaining

because of the relatively small amount of
time you all spend with their loved ones.

'Course, in Dr. Murphy's case
that's probably a good thing.

Sir, if I could just take this chance to
explain my disturbingly high mortality rate?

Why don't I do that for
you? You're a bad doctor.

Now, complaints are just a
stone's throw away from lawsuits,

so from this point on, I don't care
how bleak a patient's prognosis is --

you are going to give each and every
one of them the same amount of your time.

Unfortunately, our new residency
director felt a little differently.

Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.

And, oh my goodness, if we don't have
somebody here that we might be able to help.

Miss Bartow is thirty-six, she is
septic, and she is in respiratory failure.

Dr. Weiss, I want you to draw three sets
of surveillance cultures. Mr. Murphy--

Dr. Murphy?

...Just go ahead and get a steady BG.

We are going to try to wean
her off of the vent today,

so I want all of you people to
give her most of your attention.

I say we listen to Dr. Cox,
and do exactly what he says.

That's unbelievable.

But, Dr. Cox, earlier today Dr.
Kelso was telling us that he wants--

Ugssshhhhh. I don't ever want to hear
anything that's come out of that man's mouth;

unless, of course, it's "Oh, my God! I'm
dying. Now I'm moving towards the light.

But wait a minute,
there's been a mistake!

This is Hell! Hello, Hitler. Hello,
Mussolini. Captain Kangaroo? That's weird!"

Don't you see, Barbie, I would rather listen to
you go on and on about the joys of dolphin sex.

Dolphin trainer sex. My
boyfriend is a dolphin trainer.

Here that's a shame, because the whole dolphin
thing used to make you so interesting. Too bad.

We are moving on!

You heard him, people! We're moving on!

Oh, God help me.

...God help him!

My God, is there a
sexier woman in the world?

Mm. I gotta go --
my chin hair is back.

Ohhhh, I wish she'd cut
it off and give it to me.

Oh, GOD!

I don't mind it at the movies, sitting
alone. But eating alone is sad and pathetic.

Are you stalking me?

Nooo. My sister just had a baby,
so I'm doing the whole aunt thing.

Plus, it's a really great excuse
to run away from a relationship.

My boyfriend just dumped me, so of
course now I love him more than ever.

So, is there any chance of
you guys getting back together?

Well, he's engaged, and he's getting
married in two weeks...but, yeah, I think so.

Unrequited love sucks, you know.

Yeah, it does. You know
what we need to do? Uhh...?

Danni.

J.D.

Hi!

Hi. Danni, we need to move on, okay?

No more thinking about our exes; no
more waiting for the phone to ring;

no more stealing her purse just so you can return
it later in the hopes that she'll be so grateful,

she'll use the money recovered to buy you
a drink and maybe have sex with you after.

Did that work?

I stole the wrong purse. ...And, yes!

Ahh, Mr. Blinky.

Te quela.(?)

S�.

Oh, hey Turk, why don't you
play the next game with Marco?

Baby, I--I
hate PacMan.

Really? Because you have
bed-sheets that indicate otherwise.

Fine, ask him.

Marco, can Turk play
the next game with you?

I don't want to be friends with
your stupid, melon-headed boyfriend.

Baby, I don't understand why
he just doesn't learn English.

I bet he's whining about how I don't speak English
even though he's never bothered to learn Spanish.

He's trying to learn. He's already
got 'yes', 'no', and 'cheese'.

Hey! Somebody say
something about cheese?

'Cause if you gonna make a
cheese run, holla at me, dawg!

Baby, when we left the Dominican Republic,
Marco never wanted to learn English.

He even went to boarding
school in Puerto Rico.

Imagine what it's like to constantly feel like an
outsider just because you're proud of your heritage.

But did you or did you not
say something about cheese?

God, darn you!

Miss Bartow's systemic
vascular resistance is falling,

so the next couple hours
are gonna be crucial, okay?

Perry, the fact that these residents are spending
most of their time buzzing around that one patient

makes me think that you told them
to disobey a direct order from me.

Bob Kelso, that's just not true. Here, I told
them to disregard all direct orders from you.

I know you all think of me
as some heartless monster;

still, if your grandmother were here, wouldn't you want her
doctor to spend as much time with her as he does with anyone else?

Grandma Dorian or Nana Hobbs? Because
Nana Hobbs can be an eensy bit racist.

Grandma Dorian.

She's dead.

The point is, sometimes what's best for this
hospital is what's best for the patients!

I know it, you know it, and
guess what, Dr. Cox knows it, too.

Although damned if he doesn't disagree
with me just because I said it.

Sir, I don't think that's true.

Perry! It's hotter than hell in here!

Freezing!

Great coffee, though!

Rat piss!

Dr. Murphy is an incompetent suck-up.

No, Bob. In fact, he's one of the finest young
doctors I've ever had the good fortune of working with.

Your witness.

What are you doing?

I'm calling my dad!!!

Hey!

Oh! Hey, how are you?

Good. So, I did it
-- I talked to my ex.

And...?

And I said, "Congratulations
on the wedding,

and I hope you two stay happy,
and, by the way, size does matter."

See! That's what happens when you
finally have the courage to cut the cord!

Before you know it, you'll be
ready for someone new to come along.

Hey, you wanna go grab a cup of coffee?

Ooh, I can't. I got something
really important to do.

Thanks, J.D. I am so tense.
Someone stole my purse!

It'll turn up....

Once the dynamic of a relationship
is established, it rarely changes.

Cheese?

Man, I am so sick of you.

I'm sorry, but
I...can't...understand...you!

Yeah? Well, that talking slower and louder
thing is not as helpful as you might think.

Geez! Can you believe this guy?

Don't get me started.

Of course, if the dynamic does change,
it's never as simple as you'd hope.

Hey, Newbie, listen, I got dinner plans
with Jordan, and seeing as you're on-call,

whatta you say you pull up a chair,
here, in front of Miss Bartow?

...Especially when it involves someone
who's used to you following their lead.

Look, Dr. Cox, I'll take care of her, and I'll have my interns
help, but you gotta know I have other patients, too, so....

Maybe you didn't understand
me, there, Violet.

I don't want you leaving her side, even if someone
thinks they saw Justin Timberlake downstairs.

Now, dammit all, are you
falling in line with me or not?

I don't think so.

Okay, then.

It was a strange feeling not doing what Dr.
Cox wanted me to do. Still, I knew I was right.

Oh, God, if Jordan knew I was the reason Dr. Cox canceled dinner
tonight, she'd give me the stink-eye and then twist my nurples off.

Calm down, tiger. She doesn't know.

She knows! She knows!

Don't worry, guys. I'd
never let her hurt you.

I'm going to grab my stuff and we'll go.

Baby! There you are. He speaks English!

Who?

Your brother; he speaks English.
Yo, tell her you speak English!

What?

Don't "que" my-- "Que,"
my ass! "Que," my ass!

You were there, and you saw the
whole thing. Now you tell her.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Turk, I would know if my
own brother speaks English!

Let's go, Marco.

J.D.! You know all those pictures
of us from when we were going out?

Do you still have those?

Filed alphabetically
in my "Elliot Cabinet".

I don't know.... I might.... Why?

Well, you know the picture of us at the beach, where I
actually look good and you think that you look like Bjork?

Yeah.

Well, I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I cut you out
of it, and used it in a collage that I'm making for Sean?

No problem!

Thanks!

Whoa.

How's the whole moving on thing going?

It's going great,
Danni! In opposite world!

Well, I just wanted to say goodbye.

I was gonna stick around for a few more days, but I don't
really feel like that there's a reason to. ...Is there?

Probably not.

I'm gonna miss you.

I'm gonna miss you, too.

Dude, we just met
-- I was kidding.

Oh! That was good! No! No,
I was doing the same thing!

Adios.

Drive safe.

Hey, Barbie. How's about
you sashay on over here,

push those rock & roll bangs out of your face, and
keep those peepers on Miss Bartow's hemodynamics!

Oh, first I've gotta discharge Mr. Hale, then get a _____ on Mrs. Peterson,
and then, to be perfectly frank, perform a thong extrication on Ms. Reid.

Hey, your last name is Reid!

Doug. I have underwear in my butt.

After that, though, I'll
totally swing back by here.

You're losing them!

Oh, don't get me wrong, you had me worried there was
gonna be a bunch of young Dr. Coxes roaming the halls,

calling me "Bobbo", shaving my genitals
when I pass out at the Christmas party....

Tradition is tradition, Bob.

Yeah.... Then I remembered that
you've been here over ten years,

and there's not a single
disciple of yours to be found.

And you know why?

You told 'em this exact same
story and bored 'em to death?

No. It's because eventually they all start questioning the
gospel according to Cox,

and you can't handle that. Can you?

Hey, jackass.

Hello, Marc. I'm guessing
Carla's not around.

She's in the bathroom,
cepillar sus dientes.

Hey, baby. Gimme some
of that minty breath.

Noooooo, not in front of my brother --
that stuff always makes him uncomfortable.

Oh, really? I just wanted to apologize for the way I've
been acting by loving you up and down, and all around!

Turk!

Baby, he can't understand you! Now let's go
put some more of your footprints on the ceiling!

That's it, you son of a bitch!!!

I told ya!

So black people can get black
eyes, too, huh? Who knew?

I haven't had one this bad since
your Nana Hobbs threw that rock at me.

She thought you were robbing the house.

J.D.! Did you hear, Miss
Bartow's completely stabilized!

I don't wanna see you
around here anymore, okay?

All right, come on you
guys, you all got work to do!

Newbie, maybe I wasn't clear enough
with you on Miss Bartow over there.

Here it comes. I'm incompetent.
I'm a girl. I'm a little girl.

I'm a little girl with
pigtails that rides a tricycle.

No. Well...yes, but I am honestly trying to tell you

that I don't think I was being clear with you before.

In fact, I think I was
being a pretty lousy teacher.

Look, I think putting one in the
"win" column every now and then

is what gives us the juice

to keep plugging along
in games that we know deep down we're not gonna win.

And that's why I locked in
so intensely to that patient.

Because opportunities, they...God,
they come along so rarely in this place.

And when they do, you just can't let them slip
through your fingers. You cannot. You know?

I think I do.

I wasn't sure what I was hoping for. ...

That somehow Danni had
decided not to leave...

that she'd snapped her
leg in the parking lot....

DANNI!?

Yo.

...All I knew was I'd
missed an opportunity.

So when I was a senior in high school, you heard me
talking to my friends in English about going on the pill?

No, I just learned
English a few years ago.

Well, good, because I wasn't on the pill, and
I'm not now. I've never had sex. I hope it's fun.

Why didn't you tell me?

I don't know.

Mom died, and now
you're getting married.

You and I have always had a special connection.
I guess I just didn't want to lose that.

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Sorry, sweetie.

Sorry...s-sweetie.

And Turk, you don't mind if every now and then
Marco and I speak Spanish to each other, right?

Baby, fo'shizzle-dizzle. Do your thizzle,
'cause I'm up out this pizzle. Chach!

See, we got our own secret
language, too. Eh-ha!

What did he say?

I have no idea.

Jackass!

No one knew her last name, no
one even remembered seeing her.

I started to wonder if Danni was even
real. I guess that's the thing about life.

You don't
really--

Hey, J.D.

Excuse me!

You don't really get many second chances.

Oh! Danni! Hi! I'm sorry, sometimes I have
this inner monologue running through my head.

Oh.

Weirdo!

I'm having dinner with my sister tonight,
but I swear I'm leaving after that.

Don't. Stay here with me,
we'll get that cup of coffee.

I'm not gonna stick around
for one cup of coffee.

Okay, two cups...and some pie.

Finally, I found a girl
with no complications.

Oh, I see you've met my sister!

Oh, come on.