Original subtitles

- WE NOW RETURN TO AS THE NETHERWORLD TURNS.

- DEAREST LOVE-CLOPS,

TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU ADORE ME.

- YOU KNOW I ONLY HAVE EYES--

ER, EYE FOR YOU.

- [retches] GAG ME.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU SEE IN THIS SHOW.

[muffled] IT'S JUST A LOAD OF SAPPY-SYRUPY,

LOVEY-DOVEY, GOBBLEDYGOOK.

WHERE'S THE ACTION?

WHERE ARE THE EXPLOSIONS?

- [shushes]

I'VE BEEN WAITING WEEKS FOR THIS.

I THINK THEY'RE FINALLY GOING TO KISS.

- [gagging]

THEN I THINK I'M FINALLY GOING TO HEAVE.

[explosion]

OOH, NOW THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.

[both scream]

OOH, LOOKEE.

IT'S THAT ALIEN'S GIANT ROBOT SPACESHIP THINGY

THAT ATE MY BUMBLING BROTHER A WHILE AGO.

[giggles]

I LOVE THIS SHOW.

- BETRAYUS, LORD OF THE NETHERWORLD,

I HAVE COME FOR YOU.

- AAH! DON'T EAT ME, APEX.

- HUH, DOUBTFUL,

UNLESS HE LIKES HIS GHOSTS EXTRA CRISPY.

- ISN'T THERE ANYTHING ELSE ON?

I REALLY WANT TO CHANGE THE CHANNEL.

[whimpering]

[Pac-Man video game music]

- Bß THE PAC IS BACK B

Bß GHOSTS CHOMPING AT HIS FEET Bß

Bß PAC'S OUR HERO, PAC JUST CAN'T BE BEAT, YEAH Bß

- Bß PAC-MAN YELLOW, PAC EXTREME Bß

Bß HE'S A CHOWING-DOWN MACHINE B

Bß HE DON'T MIND GHOULS B

Bß AND ONLY ONE CAN STOP THEM Bß

- Bß PAC-MAN RULES B

- Bß THE PAC IS BACK B

Bß GHOST CHOMPING AT HIS FEET Bß

Bß PAC'S OUR HERO B

Bß AND PAC JUST CAN'T BE BEAT Bß

Bß B

Bß THE PAC IS BACK B

- BETRAYUS, I HAVE COME FOR YOU.

- [gasps]

OOH!

YOU HEARD THE ALIEN, BETRAYUS.

DON'T KEEP THE TERRIFYING GIANT ROBOT WAITING, BETRAYUS.

- [stammering] BUT--BUT--

- NO BUTS, BETRAYUS.

AAH! WAIT, STOP. I'M NOT--

- DON'T TRY TO PULL THE ECTOPLASM OVER MY EYES.

I WASN'T BORN LAST LIGHT-YEAR.

- A LIGHT-YEAR IS A FUNCTION OF DISTANCE, NOT TIME.

- DON'T PUSH YOUR LUCK, BUB.

WE NEED TO TALK.

- AAH!

- OOH, WELL, THAT'S A NEAT TRICK.

- W-W-WAIT. STOP.

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

[gasps] OH, NO.

I'VE SEEN THIS MOVIE.

THE HANDSOME LEADING GHOST GETS IT IN THE END.

- GO FOR IT, PAC-STAR.

- CAN'T ALWAYS TRUST MY SUPER BERRY POWERS.

[upbeat music]

[grunts]

SO I GOTTA KEEP IN SHAPE.

GOTCHA! [burps]

[buzz] - AFRAID THAT'S A FOUL,

PAC, MY BOY.

PART OF YOUR TRAINING IS KNOWING

WHO TO EAT AND WHO TO GREET.

[both laugh]

- YO, DUDE, YOU JUST WOLFED DOWN THE PREZ.

- OOPS. SORRY. [burps]

BUT HE WAS PRETTY TASTY.

- A LITTLE CHEESY, IF YOU ASK ME.

[chuckles] GET IT?

- [grunts]

[whimpers]

THIS CAN'T BE GOOD.

- THAT ALL DEPENDS ON--

OW! OH!

I REALLY, REALLY NEED TO FIX THAT RAMP.

- I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU ASK,

BUT PLEASE DON'T PERFORM UNSPEAKABLE

ALIEN EXPERIMENTS ON MY CRINGING ECTOPLASM.

- LORD BETRAYUS, I AM NOT HERE TO "CROP CIRCLE" YOU.

I WANT TO OFFER YOU A DEAL.

- DEAL? DEAL?

WHAT SORT OF DEAL?

- I HAVE A FLEET OF GIANT ROBOTS PARKED IN ORBIT,

READY TO CONQUER THIS BACKWATER PLANET.

BUT I NEED A PARTNER WHO KNOWS WHAT KIND

OF SNEAKY MOVES THE PACWORLDERS MIGHT PULL.

- OOH, SNEAKY IS MY MIDDLE NAME.

ACTUALLY IT'S SNEAKERUS, BUT CLOSE ENOUGH.

LET'S TALK.

- WHOA.

HUNGRY MUCH?

- HEY, CHOWING DOWN EMPTY COSTUMES

IS A LOT OF WORK FOR A BUNCH OF EMPTY CALORIES.

[gasping]

WHOA!

[grunting]

[bird squawks]

[grunting]

- WHO NEEDS BEAT BOXING WHEN YOU'VE GOT EAT BOXING?

- [gulps, burps]

[alarms blaring]

- THAT WAS AWESOME, BRO.

- THANKS, BUT ALL THAT EXERCISE MADE ME HUNGRY.

WHAT'S FOR LUNCH?

- PROFESSOR POINTYBRAINS,

MEET DR. HEINIE-HEAD.

- UGH. THE NAME IS DR. BUTTOCKS.

- EH, WHATEVER.

POINTYBRAINS IS MY CHIEF SCIENTIST

AND OVERALL LACKEY.

HE'LL HELP YOU WITH THE TECHNICAL INS AND OUTS

OF THE UPCOMING ALIEN INVASION.

- WHAT DO WE NEED HIM FOR?

I AM THE GREATEST SCIENTIST IN, ON,

OR UNDERNEATH PACWORLD.

- [chuckles] THAT MAY BE TRUE,

BUT THE GREATEST SCIENTIST IN A TROOP OF PRIMATES

IS STILL, AFTER ALL, MERELY A MONKEY.

- WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MONKEY?

- TSK, TSK, TSK.

IT'S A WONDER YOU CAN EVEN BOIL WATER

WITH THIS PRIMITIVE APPARATUS.

- [scoffs] AS IF SIR CUMFERENCE

WASN'T RIVAL ENOUGH, NOW I HAVE TO CONTEND

WITH THIS INSUFFERABLE ALIEN EGGHEAD.

- SO WHAT'S THE PLAN? - SIMPLE.

YOU TAKE HIM FROM BELOW, I'LL TAKE HIM FROM ABOVE,

AND WE'LL SPLIT THE PLANET DOWN THE MIDDLE.

DO WE HAVE A DEAL?

- TEAM UP WITH A FLEET OF GIANT ALIEN ROBOTS

AND TAKE OVER PACWORLD?

OOH, YEAH, LET'S SHAKE ON IT.

both: EH?

- THESE P-P-PRIMITIVE B-BONDING CUSTOMS

ARE A M-M-MYSTERY TO M-ME.

- UGH. AND THEY CALL US MONKEYS?

- [snickers] RELAX.

ONCE WE CONQUER PACWORLD,

I'LL JUST BETRAY THOSE ALIEN LAME BRAINS

AND TAKE THEIR HALF TOO.

[both grunting]

- AND HOLD IT STEADY, STEADY.

- [groans] PUSHY POINTY-HEADED--

[grunts]

- GOOD JOB, LITTLE BUTTY.

[giggles] DO YOU WANT A COOKIE?

- [groans] WHY, I OUGHT TO--

- MOST IMPRESSIVE.

EVEN IF I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON.

- ACTIVATE THE EXPANDER, PROFESSOR POINTYBRAINS.

THIS PORTAL EXPANDER WILL LET YOU LAUNCH

ALL YOUR GHOST AND MONSTERS INTO PACWORLD AT ONCE.

OUR ALIEN SCIENCE TOTALLY ROCKS.

- [laughing]

EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT.

THOSE PATHETIC PACWORLDERS ARE AS GOOD AS CONQUERED.

- WE HAVE TO SNEAK AWAY AND WARN PAXIE.

- I DON'T KNOW, BOYS AND GHOULS.

THIS TIME I THINK BETRAYUS HAS A SHOT AT WINNING.

AND MY MAMA DIDN'T RAISE NO LOSER.

[grunts]

- YOUR MAMA'S NOT HERE, INKY, BUT I AM.

AND I SAY WE'RE ALL GOING TOPSIDE

TO HELP OUR FRIEND.

- I'M TELLING YA, PINKY, I'M TORN UP ABOUT THIS.

HEY! OW!

- YEAH, I CAN SEE THAT.

BUT YOU'RE BOTH COMING WITH US.

both: JEEZ, SHE'S STRICT.

- OOH, WHAT IS THIS I'M FEELING?

NOT MY USUAL COWARDICE-- ER, CAUTION.

NO, I FEEL BOLDER.

I FEEL I CAN LEAD MY TROOPS TO VICTORY!

[whimpers]

[groans]

PLUS, I WANT A FRONT-ROW SEAT

WHEN I OVERTHROW MY BROTHER,

THE SOON-TO-BE EX-PRESIDENT.

THERE YOU GO, KEYS TO THE KINGDOM.

YOU'RE IN CHARGE UNTIL I GET BACK.

- NO! I BEG YOU TO RECONSIDER.

- WHILE I DO LOVE IT WHEN YOU BEG, BUTTLER,

MY MIND'S MADE UP.

YOU WILL CRINGE AT BUTTOCKS' EVERY COMMAND,

AS YOU WOULD AT MY OWN.

- I DON'T SEE THIS ENDING WELL.

- [laughs]

NOT FOR YOU ANYWAY, BROTHER.

- SMACK IT, PAC.

THE PASS IS TO THE PACSTER.

HE FAKES.

HE SHOOTS. HE-- AAH!

- [grunts] - [laughs]

HE SCORES!

- AAH!

- OH, SWEET LEMON-LOVE, I HAVE HORRIBLE NEWS.

OH, NO, YOU DON'T, GHOUL PIGEON.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA WARN BETRAYUS.

- WARN HIM ABOUT WHAT?

- WARN HIM ABOUT US WARNING YOU.

- I DON'T GET IT.

OH, OKAY, NOW I GET IT.

[tense music]

Bß B

- WHOA, DUDE, WE'RE UNDER MEGA ATTACK.

- MORE LIKE A FULL-ON INVASION.

[all screaming]

- THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!

- [screams]

- I GOT SLIME IN MY EYE!

- [cackles]

NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE GREATEST DAY

OF MY AFTERLIFE.

[laughs maniacally]

[all screaming]

[both sneezing]

- HUH?

THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO NEUTRALIZE HIM,

NOT GIVE HIM ALLERGIES.

all: EH?

- [sneezes]

- [coughing]

- TIME TO PUT THESE ALIENS ON...

ICE! - YO, BRO.

YOU MIGHT WANNA COME UP WITH SOMETHING

A LITTLE MORE DYNAMIC TO IMPRESS THESE SPACE DUDES.

- I HEAR YA. WHAT ICE PUN HAVEN'T I USED YET?

- CHILL OUT? - NAH, HE'S TOTALLY USED THAT.

OH, HOW ABOUT, "I'M GONNA STOP YOU COLD"?

- AH, I'M PRETTY SURE I'VE DONE THAT ONE TOO.

UH, HOW ABOUT-- WHOA, SORRY.

CAN'T SHOOT THE BREEZE, IT'S TIME TO FREEZE.

- THAT WORKS.

- AAH! BRAIN FREEZE! [grunts]

SORRY, NOT NEW, BUT WAY TRUE.

[burps] - LOOK OUT.

YELLOW ORB EYEBALL BELCH.

- STAY CLEAR!

- UH-OH, BETTER SUPERPOWER UP AGAIN.

HEY!

- NO MORE BERRIES FOR YOU, YELLOW ORB.

- HE FRIED MY BERRIES! - HERE, PAC.

- NOT GOOD. - NO, EXCELLENT.

YOU, CYCLOPS, SLIME THOSE HOVER-BOARDERS.

HEY, TENTACLES, GRAB THOSE BYSTANDERS.

[both scream]

- AAH!

THE PAC BRAT. AAH!

YOU, GIANT ROBOT,

SQUISH THAT LITTLE LOSER INTO LEMONADE.

- I DON'T TAKE ORDERS FROM YOU.

BUT YES, SQUISHING IS A GOOD IDEA.

THE PAC PEST HAS GOT TO GO.

- OOH, THIS HIDEOUS GOTHIC MOTIF HAS GOT TO GO.

THE DECOR IS SO LAST MILLENNIUM.

- [gasps]

- RELAX, MY FEARFUL FRATERNAL FAILURE.

IT'S SIMPLY TIME TO DO SOME DEMOLITION.

- TIME TO DO SOME DEMOLITION.

I'M GOING TO STOMP YOU INTO LUSCIOUS LEMON CUSTARD.

- FOOT, MEET CAR.

TAKE THAT, YOU TIN-PLATED, POINTY-HEADED,

WANNABE CONQUEROR.

OH!

- AAH! - [grunts]

OUCH. OUCH!

- YOU ARE THE WORST ALLY EVER. - OOPS.

- AND YOUR GHOST ARMY, THROUGH ITS SHEER INCOMPETENCE,

IS A BIGGER THREAT THAN THE PACWORLDERS!

- AND YOUR PLANET'S SO-CALLED SCIENCE

IS SO PRIMITIVE THAT THE PACWORLDERS

MIGHT AS WELL BE THROWING VEGETABLES AT US.

- [gasps, whimpers]

- MM, OR FRUIT. HMM, FRESH.

- THIS IS IT, GUYS. LET'S SHOW THESE POINTYHEADS

THIS IS OUR PLANET!

BY, UM, HURLING DELICIOUS FOODSTUFFS AT THEM.

[dramatic music]

[overlapping shouting]

- LET'S GET 'EM! - FIGHT WITH ALL YOU'VE GOT!

- GET THOSE POINTYHEADS!

- YOU MUST RESIST.

- GO, GO, GO, GET 'EM, GET 'EM!

- AAH, I'VE BEEN SLIMED.

- THAT AIN'T SLIME, BUDDY.

[all barking]

- I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS.

- WE GOT HIM ON THE... [gobbles]

[burps] RUN.

[all screaming]

- HEY, THOSE ALIENS ARE FREAKED BY THE EYEBALLS.

THEY REALLY DON'T LIKE THEM.

- [burps] YEAH.

I GOT THAT TOO. BUT THEN WHO...

[burps] DOES?

- PACSTER, LOOK OUT.

- [sneezes]

OH, MAN.

I'M ALLERGIC TO ALIENS!

- HOW ABOUT THAT, PROFESSOR POINTYBRAINS?

YOUR MALFUNCTIONING WEAPONRY

MAY ACTUALLY SAVE OUR ALIEN BACKSIDES.

[laughs]

LET 'EM HAVE IT, GUYS.

GIVE 'EM THE INTERSTELLAR ITCHIES.

[all coughing and sneezing]

- OH, DEAR.

IT APPEARS I BEST PRACTICE MY SURRENDER SPEECH.

BETTER GO FETCH THE KEYS TO THE CITY.

APEX WILL NO DOUBT WANT THEM TOO.

- [laughs] WE DID IT.

WE WON.

OH, YEAH, WE WON, OH, YEAH.

- YOU BET YOUR SWEET AFTERLIFE WE WON,

SO I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE.

- [squeals]

[all sneezing and groaning]

UGH. HEY!

NO FAIR!

[sneezes]

- AHH, IT'S GOOD TO BE SUBLIME RULER.

[all coughing and sneezing]

KNEEL, SNEEZING, SNOTTY INHABITANTS OF PACWORLD--

SOON TO BE RENAMED POINTYWORLD--

KNEEL BEFORE YOUR NEW MASTER,

APEX THE ALMIGHTY.

- [sneezing] NEVER HAPPEN.

- GESUNDHEIT. - [gasps]

I BET THAT ROTTEN INTERSTELLAR BACKSTABBER

IS POSING WITH THE SUN BEHIND HIM ON PURPOSE--

BECAUSE THE SUN ALWAYS MAKES ME SNEE--

[sneezes]

- [laughs]

OH, LITTLE LORDY BETRAYUS,

YOU WERE JUST A DISTRACTION TO HELP US

BREAK DOWN THE PACWORLDERS' RESISTANCE.

SO WE COULD CAPTURE THE LAST OF THE YELLOW ORBS

AND IMPRISON HIM WITH THE REST OF HIS KIND,

USURPING HIS SPECIAL POWERS

FOR OUR OWN UNSAVORY PURPOSES.

[laughs]

YOU GET ALL THAT AT HOME?

[all gasp]

- [sneezes]

- AND A VERY GESUNDHEIT TO YOU.

- THIS PLACE IS AS GLOOMY AS A TOMB.

WE NEED TO LET THE SPACE BREATHE.

MR. BUTTLER, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL.

- I'M AFRAID THAT'S A LOAD-BEARING WALL.

- JUST DO IT! - [grunts]

- [snickers] WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

FOR ONCE, YOU'RE CORRECT.

[all sneezing and wheezing]

- I NEED TO SANITIZE. SANITIZE!

LOOK OUT, YELLOW ORB EYEBALL BELCH.

- STAY CLEAR.

- GIVE ME CONTROL OF YOUR GHOST ARMY,

AND I'LL STOP THESE SPACE JOCKEYS.

- ANYTHING. ANYTHING-- [sneezes]

all: EW.

- THE ALIENS ARE FREAKED BY BELCHED EYEBALLS,

SO I NEED ALL THE PEEPER AMMO I CAN GET.

YOU GOTTA ORDER ALL YOUR GHOSTS

TO LET ME SCARF 'EM.

- FINE, NO PROBLEM.

ATTENTION, MY CRINGING MINIONS.

FORM AN ORDERLY LINE

SO THAT THE PAC PEST CAN CONSUME YOU.

[sneezes]

- AND YOU'RE AT THE HEAD OF THE LINE, BETRAYUS.

- WHAT? HOLD ON.

THIS AGREEMENT IS FAR FROM OFFICIAL.

WE NEED A NOTARY AND A TEAM OF ATTORNEYS.

AND WE NEVER EVEN PINKIE-SWORE AND--

[squeals]

- [gulps, burps]

[all cheering] - YEAH, IT HAPPENED TO HIM NOW!

- SNACKS AND A SHOW.

- ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION,

THE KEYS TO THE CITY,

AND THE USE OF THE EXECUTIVE RESTROOM.

- DON'T CAVE, MR. PRESIDENT.

WE GOT A PLAN TO BEAT THESE POINTY PAINS.

- IN THAT CASE, NEVER MIND.

GOOD LUCK, PAC-MAN.

- GONNA NEED SUPERSONIC GOBBLE SPEED,

SO TIME FOR PAC PANIC!

[upbeat music]

Bß B

- POINTYBRAINS!

WE BETTER STOP THAT PESKY LEMON BALL

BEFORE OUR PLANS GO HORRIBLY SIDEWAYS.

- OH, NO, HE'S BURPING EYEBALLS! [all screaming]

[overlapping shouting]

- HE'S A BURPING MACHINE.

AAH, EYEBALLS!

- GET OUT OF HERE!

[overlapping shouting]

- ABORT, ABORT.

[all screaming]

[all cheering]

- LOOKS LIKE THE EYES HAVE IT.

[giggles]

both: YEAH!

- COME BACK HERE, YOU COSMIC COWARDS.

HE'S JUST ONE MEASLY LITTLE EYEBALL BELCHER.

- BROUGHT YOUR RIDE.

HOP IN AND SEND THOSE POINTY NOGGINS PACKIN'.

- THANKS, SIR C.

HEY, MAKE THAT EYEBALL BELCHER

IN A SUPERPOWERED LEMON ROCKET.

- UH, IN THAT CASE...

- [grunts] TIME TO MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL.

- OW, OW, OW.

[tense music]

Bß B

- OH!

- [grunting]

TOO BAD I'M OUT OF EYEBALL AMMO.

AAH!

- AS ALWAYS, PINKY HAS JUST WHAT HER PACIMS NEEDS.

- OW!

YOU KNOW THAT STINGS, RIGHT?

- GET OVER IT, TRAITOR!

YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE INKY EYES YOU NEED, PACIMS.

- OW! - THANKS, PINKY.

all: OW!

[triumphant music]

Bß B

- YES!

- YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF THE POINTYHEADS,

YOU MISERABLE LITTLE LEMON TART.

ANY MESSAGES FOR YOUR PARENTS,

BEFORE I RETURN?

- [gasps] MY PARENTS?

YOU TELL THEM--

- [groans] OKAY.

THIS WAS OFFICIALLY THE WORST DAY OF MY AFTERLIFE.

[screams]

BUTTOCKS, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY THRONE ROOM?

- I HAVE STRIPPED THIS CLUTTERED ENVIRONMENT

TO ITS BAREST HONESTY.

I AM A MINIMALIST. [chuckles]

- [sighs]

I GOTTA SIT DOWN.

AAH!

UGH.

[groans] I'M TOO TIRED TO DEAL WITH THIS.

WAKE ME UP IN AN HOUR, SO I CAN SEVERELY PUNISH YOU.

[snoring]

- I WAS ABLE TO TRACK THE SPACE-BOTS'

EXHAUST TRAIL INTO DEEP SPACE.

THEIR INEFFICIENT ENGINES LEFT A SWATH A LIGHT-YEAR WIDE.

- HUH. I ALWAYS THOUGHT A LIGHT-YEAR

WAS A FUNCTION OF TIME, NOT DISTANCE.

- AND FOR THAT I BLAME OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM.

SAY, WHAT'S BEHIND YOUR NERVOUS PACING, PAC-LAD?

- IF YOU CAN TRACK THEIR COURSE,

MAYBE YOU CAN FIND THEIR PLANET...

AND MY PARENTS.

- OUR SPACE HAS GOT A LOT OF SPACE IN IT.

THINK YOU CAN FIND PLANET POINTYHEAD, SIR C?

- HMM, GOOD QUESTION.

STAY TUNED.