Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
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Sound waves travel through three
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tiny bones to the cochlea.
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- The brain interprets
- these vibrations,
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And that's how we hear.
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[all chatting]
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Did anyone hear me?
7
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Oh, Echo,
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at least you were listening.
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Actually, I was wondering
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if I could borrow your charger.
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My phone's almost dead,
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and I'm in the middle of
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a really interesting
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conversation.
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Echo, you still there?
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Yeah, sorry. So, did the
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squirrel ever get the jar open?
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Is everybody in my class talking
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while I'm teaching?
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You're listening
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00:00:38,835 --> 00:00:40,292
to "Drive Time with Derby."
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The topic today
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is boring teachers.
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Derby? Are you hosting a radio
25
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call-in show during my class?
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Some would say
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you're teaching a class
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during my radio call-in show.
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Caller, you're on the air.
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Hi. Long-time listener,
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first-time caller.
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00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:01,417
I'm principal of Finne...
33
00:01:01,459 --> 00:01:03,417
a local high school...
34
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and we have some of
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the worst teachers.
36
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One of them's a kid!
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A kid teacher? That is wild!
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You know what?
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00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:13,605
Since you guys like
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talking in class so much,
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00:01:14,751 --> 00:01:15,935
- I'm going to give you
- an assignment
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Where you get to talk in class.
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[conversations continue]
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I'm talking about
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oral presentations!
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Each of you will tell the class
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about a great scientific
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discovery.
49
00:01:28,584 --> 00:01:32,000
You mean, like cheese?
50
00:01:32,042 --> 00:01:34,000
- I was thinking something
- more significant.
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Something that's had
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a real impact
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on human civilization.
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So, like spray cheese?
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Well, if you want my advice,
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Principal "X,"
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I'd kick that kid teacher
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to the curb.
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OK, we've got another caller.
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You're on the line with Derby.
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Derby! Get off the air!
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- We're going to take
- a short break.
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We'll be back right after this.
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? Goodbye, summer
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hello, fall ?
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? We've been trying
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to get here ?
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? Since we both
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were barely two feet tall ?
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? Who you calling kid?
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Who you calling kid? ?
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? Who you calling kid? ?
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- ? You can call me
- what you want ?
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? But I won't hear a word
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where I am here ?
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? Who you calling kid? ?
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[polite applause]
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Thank you, Ken,
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for that enlightening look
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at one of the world's
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greatest discoveries...
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the bus pass.
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And that was my presentation
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on one of the world's
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greatest discoveries...
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sarcasm.
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Echo, would you like to...
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- [thinking]:
- Don't say "Marry me."
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Don't say "Marry me."
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go next?
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Sure.
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One of the greatest
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scientific discoveries ever
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was made by a woman.
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[Slab cracking up]
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Excellent.
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Always open with a joke.
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00:03:06,542 --> 00:03:08,209
It's not a joke!
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00:03:08,250 --> 00:03:09,605
I'm talking about
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00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,959
Polish-born Marie Curie,
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00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,376
who was the first person
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to win two Nobel Prizes.
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Yeah, for her research
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00:03:15,419 --> 00:03:17,042
on the radiation phenomena,
105
00:03:17,083 --> 00:03:18,560
- and again for
- her twin discoveries
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00:03:18,584 --> 00:03:20,500
Of radium and polonium!
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[cracking up]
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- [stops laughing]:
- Wait a minute...
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That's pretty impressive.
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She was studying radiation
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00:03:28,690 --> 00:03:29,918
in Paris
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in the late 19th century...
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- while living
- with her husband, Pierre.
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[with a bad French accent]:
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Marie, ma cherie, I am home.
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00:03:43,459 --> 00:03:44,643
- [Polish accent]:
- Pierre, how was your day
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00:03:44,667 --> 00:03:46,334
Lecturing at the university?
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00:03:46,375 --> 00:03:48,083
Oh, comme ci, comme ca.
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00:03:48,125 --> 00:03:49,355
I try to teach,
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but my students just talk.
121
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- I caught one of them
- with a phone,
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And had to confiscate it.
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00:03:55,792 --> 00:03:57,000
[grunting]: Oh...
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Well, get that off the table.
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It's time for dinner.
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Ooh. [chuckles]
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What are we having?
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Don't touch that!
129
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It's "polonium."
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Never heard of it.
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00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:12,105
That's because
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I just discovered it.
133
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Why can't you use a cookbook,
134
00:04:15,710 --> 00:04:17,792
like other wives?
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Polonium is poisonous,
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and highly radioactive.
137
00:04:21,209 --> 00:04:22,292
Mm, can't be worse
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00:04:22,293 --> 00:04:23,375
than your pierogies.
139
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:28,334
Anyway...
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00:04:28,375 --> 00:04:30,167
- I've invited
- another scientist over.
141
00:04:30,209 --> 00:04:31,894
- Someone I met at
- that physics conference
142
00:04:31,918 --> 00:04:32,918
In Belgium.
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00:04:32,959 --> 00:04:36,375
[knocks]
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[German accent]:
145
00:04:37,751 --> 00:04:39,083
Guten tag, Marie!
146
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I see you're dressed
147
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a little more conservatively
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than when we were
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00:04:42,523 --> 00:04:43,584
at that conference,
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00:04:43,626 --> 00:04:45,626
skinny-dipping.
151
00:04:45,667 --> 00:04:47,147
Albert, this is
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00:04:47,148 --> 00:04:48,626
my husband, Pierre.
153
00:04:50,042 --> 00:04:51,362
- [normal voice]:
- He's Einstein?
154
00:04:54,792 --> 00:04:56,626
Seriously?
155
00:04:56,667 --> 00:04:58,351
- [normal voice]: And
- you're married to her...
156
00:04:58,375 --> 00:05:00,209
- You really want
- to start pulling threads?
157
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:06,000
[barks]: Knock-knock!
158
00:05:06,042 --> 00:05:07,310
- And who are you
- supposed to be?
159
00:05:07,334 --> 00:05:10,000
I'm Mrs. Byrne.
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00:05:10,042 --> 00:05:11,584
I'm here to borrow
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00:05:11,585 --> 00:05:13,125
a cup of sugar from you,
162
00:05:13,167 --> 00:05:14,376
but I'd rather
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00:05:14,377 --> 00:05:15,584
he gave me some sugar.
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00:05:17,042 --> 00:05:18,792
["German" accent]: Yech...
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00:05:18,834 --> 00:05:20,480
why did I come here
166
00:05:20,481 --> 00:05:22,125
instead of Freud's barbecue?
167
00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:24,042
[snapping tongs]
168
00:05:24,083 --> 00:05:25,602
- ["German" accent]: You don't
- know what you're missing.
169
00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:27,230
I have the most delicious
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00:05:27,231 --> 00:05:28,834
mother.
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00:05:28,876 --> 00:05:31,209
Potato salad!
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00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:32,501
I don't know what happened...
173
00:05:32,502 --> 00:05:33,751
That just slipped out.
174
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:34,834
I've got to go.
175
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,250
My mother is smoking.
176
00:05:37,292 --> 00:05:38,959
The turkey is smoking!
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00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,459
Why do I keep doing that?
178
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Not this. This is polonium.
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00:05:47,834 --> 00:05:50,125
Nope. That's radium.
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Ah. Here's the sugar.
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00:05:55,375 --> 00:05:57,626
[sugar hums and crackles]
182
00:05:57,667 --> 00:05:58,834
[chuckles awkwardly]
183
00:05:58,876 --> 00:06:00,250
Maybe I shouldn't store this
184
00:06:00,292 --> 00:06:01,334
next to the radioactive
185
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isotopes.
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00:06:05,584 --> 00:06:07,209
So, what's for dinner?
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Are you sure you
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00:06:08,251 --> 00:06:09,251
wouldn't like a pierogi?
189
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No, thanks.
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00:06:11,042 --> 00:06:12,459
Those things are fatty,
191
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:14,959
and I plan to live a long life.
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00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:15,959
Oh!
193
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,209
Toodle-oo.
194
00:06:17,250 --> 00:06:18,417
[door shuts]
195
00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:21,334
Oh, no!
196
00:06:21,375 --> 00:06:22,751
Did you guys drink
197
00:06:22,752 --> 00:06:24,125
my radioactive isotopes?
198
00:06:24,167 --> 00:06:25,459
- Non.
- Nein.
199
00:06:27,751 --> 00:06:29,209
That stuff can cause
200
00:06:29,210 --> 00:06:30,667
horrible mutations.
201
00:06:30,709 --> 00:06:32,351
- [Adam, French accent]:
- Ooh, look at us!
202
00:06:32,375 --> 00:06:35,209
We are horribly mutated!
203
00:06:35,250 --> 00:06:37,709
[laughter]
204
00:06:37,751 --> 00:06:39,897
[shrieks]
205
00:06:39,898 --> 00:06:42,042
You're horribly mutated!
206
00:06:42,083 --> 00:06:44,000
- I know.
- That's what I just said.
207
00:06:44,042 --> 00:06:45,393
- Everything I say
- sounds like mockery
208
00:06:45,417 --> 00:06:46,500
Because I'm French.
209
00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:50,605
And then Pierre Curie
210
00:06:50,606 --> 00:06:51,709
and Albert Einstein
211
00:06:51,751 --> 00:06:53,626
did the monster mash.
212
00:06:53,667 --> 00:06:55,125
The end!
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00:06:55,167 --> 00:06:56,918
Thank you, Echo, for...
214
00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:58,147
Don't say
215
00:06:58,148 --> 00:06:59,334
"Coming into my life."
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00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:01,043
that occasionally-accurate
217
00:07:01,044 --> 00:07:02,709
story about Marie Curie.
218
00:07:02,751 --> 00:07:04,167
And for coming into my life...
219
00:07:04,209 --> 00:07:06,167
- [quickly]:
- Who'd like to go next?
220
00:07:06,209 --> 00:07:07,438
You're listening to
221
00:07:07,439 --> 00:07:08,667
"Drive Time with Derby,"
222
00:07:08,709 --> 00:07:10,667
and we're talking about
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00:07:10,709 --> 00:07:12,480
lame homework assignments
224
00:07:12,481 --> 00:07:14,250
and how to get out of 'em.
225
00:07:14,292 --> 00:07:15,522
Derby, let's hear
226
00:07:15,523 --> 00:07:16,751
your presentation.
227
00:07:16,792 --> 00:07:18,918
- If you have any suggestions,
- call in now.
228
00:07:18,959 --> 00:07:20,230
[grunts]: Or send in your
229
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:21,500
scientific discovery paper
230
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,000
in the next 30 seconds
231
00:07:23,042 --> 00:07:24,682
- and get a free
- "Drive Time with Derby"
232
00:07:24,709 --> 00:07:26,042
Baby-doll t-shirt.
233
00:07:26,083 --> 00:07:27,542
[gasps]
234
00:07:34,584 --> 00:07:36,772
OK, Derby, what great discovery
235
00:07:36,773 --> 00:07:38,959
will you be presenting?
236
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,022
[ding!]
237
00:07:40,023 --> 00:07:41,042
Oh! I have an idea.
238
00:07:43,167 --> 00:07:44,685
- [electricity hums
- then fizzles out]
239
00:07:44,709 --> 00:07:45,792
Oh, no, it's gone.
240
00:07:48,751 --> 00:07:50,792
[ding!]
241
00:07:50,834 --> 00:07:52,125
Now it's back!
242
00:07:59,459 --> 00:08:00,876
Who can tell me what this is?
243
00:08:02,459 --> 00:08:04,209
That's right!
244
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,064
It's a fat lady leaning over
245
00:08:06,065 --> 00:08:07,876
to pick up a light bulb.
246
00:08:07,918 --> 00:08:09,105
Interesting story
247
00:08:09,106 --> 00:08:10,292
about the light bulb...
248
00:08:10,334 --> 00:08:12,250
[??]
249
00:08:16,417 --> 00:08:17,459
Look, Tesla!
250
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,834
[croaking]: Yes, Mr. Edison?
251
00:08:26,209 --> 00:08:27,209
You know how girls
252
00:08:27,210 --> 00:08:28,210
love to dance?
253
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:30,542
Not really.
254
00:08:30,584 --> 00:08:32,751
Well, they do... with me.
255
00:08:32,792 --> 00:08:34,375
And why wouldn't they?
256
00:08:34,417 --> 00:08:36,271
I'm smart, I'm charming,
257
00:08:36,272 --> 00:08:38,125
I don't have a hump.
258
00:08:38,167 --> 00:08:39,605
My shoulders are even...
259
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,042
I can sleep on my back.
260
00:08:41,083 --> 00:08:43,125
I get it!
261
00:08:43,167 --> 00:08:44,768
- That's why
- I've invented the phonograph,
262
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,226
- To impress the lovely
- Mina Miller.
263
00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:47,792
[crank creaking]
264
00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:48,918
[music begins crackling]
265
00:08:48,959 --> 00:08:52,459
[??]
266
00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:53,834
Tommy, I'm here.
267
00:08:53,835 --> 00:08:55,167
What did you want to show me?
268
00:08:55,209 --> 00:08:56,167
This...
269
00:08:56,209 --> 00:08:58,125
[??]
270
00:09:01,626 --> 00:09:02,938
Wow! You're quite
271
00:09:02,939 --> 00:09:04,250
a good dancer.
272
00:09:04,292 --> 00:09:07,083
And what even shoulders!
273
00:09:07,125 --> 00:09:08,209
[grunts]: Ah!
274
00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:11,709
[??]
275
00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:14,042
You blew out the candle.
276
00:09:14,083 --> 00:09:15,522
[huffs]: Now I see
277
00:09:15,523 --> 00:09:16,959
what's going on here!
278
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,751
- You just want to
- get fresh with me.
279
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:21,042
Well, I'm not that kind of girl.
280
00:09:21,083 --> 00:09:22,876
- I'd slap you,
- if I could see you.
281
00:09:22,918 --> 00:09:24,584
[??]
282
00:09:24,626 --> 00:09:25,876
Oh! There you are.
283
00:09:25,918 --> 00:09:27,042
[smack!]
284
00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:31,042
[groans]: Oh! That was me.
285
00:09:31,083 --> 00:09:33,792
Well, pass it on.
286
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:35,959
As you wish.
287
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,292
[smack!]
288
00:09:40,167 --> 00:09:42,083
- Why do these candles
- keep going out?
289
00:09:42,125 --> 00:09:43,501
Because, when you twirl,
290
00:09:43,502 --> 00:09:44,876
you create wind,
291
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,292
which extinguishes the flame,
292
00:09:46,334 --> 00:09:47,334
by pushing it away from
293
00:09:47,335 --> 00:09:48,335
its fuel,
294
00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:50,792
the wick.
295
00:09:50,834 --> 00:09:52,500
I can see why you're single.
296
00:09:55,459 --> 00:09:57,209
So what I need is a light source
297
00:09:57,210 --> 00:09:58,959
that is immune to wind.
298
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,250
[grunts affirmatively]
299
00:10:00,292 --> 00:10:01,834
What could that be?
300
00:10:01,876 --> 00:10:03,417
Eureka! I have an idea!
301
00:10:05,209 --> 00:10:06,834
Ow!
302
00:10:06,876 --> 00:10:08,022
My idea is to stand
303
00:10:08,023 --> 00:10:09,167
far away from my idea!
304
00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:15,167
- Tesla, have you found
- the proper conductor
305
00:10:15,209 --> 00:10:17,042
For my light bulb filament yet?
306
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:19,417
Would you just get off my back?
307
00:10:19,459 --> 00:10:21,209
- Are you talking to me
- or your hump?
308
00:10:22,667 --> 00:10:24,083
What's the hold-up?
309
00:10:24,125 --> 00:10:25,125
We'll keep trying until
310
00:10:25,126 --> 00:10:26,126
we get it right.
311
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,459
[??]
312
00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:28,459
[poof]
313
00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:30,417
[??]
314
00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:43,188
Tesla? You think this is gonna
315
00:10:43,189 --> 00:10:45,000
blow up again, don't you?
316
00:10:45,042 --> 00:10:47,626
I've got a hunch...
317
00:10:47,667 --> 00:10:50,292
also, yes.
318
00:10:50,334 --> 00:10:52,292
I'll be safe under this blanket.
319
00:10:52,334 --> 00:10:53,876
[laughter]
320
00:10:53,918 --> 00:10:55,334
[poof]
321
00:10:59,209 --> 00:11:00,709
Feels pretty good to be right.
322
00:11:02,751 --> 00:11:04,167
Little hotter than I expected.
323
00:11:11,417 --> 00:11:13,334
[shrieking]
324
00:11:15,584 --> 00:11:16,709
Hmm. Look how long
325
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:17,834
that thing is burning.
326
00:11:17,876 --> 00:11:19,792
[shrieking]
327
00:11:21,459 --> 00:11:22,647
It just keeps burning
328
00:11:22,648 --> 00:11:23,834
and burning and burning.
329
00:11:23,876 --> 00:11:25,000
[shrieking]
330
00:11:26,292 --> 00:11:27,375
Tesla, come here.
331
00:11:29,751 --> 00:11:30,834
Thank you. As you were.
332
00:11:32,542 --> 00:11:34,459
[shrieking]
333
00:11:37,375 --> 00:11:38,647
I've invented a new light,
334
00:11:38,648 --> 00:11:39,918
from a carbon fiber filament.
335
00:11:39,959 --> 00:11:41,792
Just for you.
336
00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:42,959
[Adam/Tesla, mocking]:
337
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:44,083
"Just for you."
338
00:11:44,125 --> 00:11:45,375
Help me screw it in.
339
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,813
OK, I'll hold the light bulb
340
00:11:48,814 --> 00:11:50,125
still...
341
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:51,250
you two, turn the base.
342
00:11:52,709 --> 00:11:53,980
Why don't you just turn
343
00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:55,250
the light bulb?
344
00:11:59,167 --> 00:12:02,584
[bulb squeaking]
345
00:12:02,626 --> 00:12:04,375
Look at that.
346
00:12:04,417 --> 00:12:06,209
Try to blow it out.
347
00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:08,375
[blowing]
348
00:12:08,417 --> 00:12:09,876
See?
349
00:12:09,918 --> 00:12:11,064
I never knew brains
350
00:12:11,065 --> 00:12:12,209
could be so...
351
00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:14,792
interesting.
352
00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:16,293
You know...
353
00:12:16,294 --> 00:12:17,751
I'm pretty smart, too.
354
00:12:20,626 --> 00:12:23,959
They're not that interesting.
355
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,918
[??]
356
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,250
- Mrs. Byrne?
- What are you doing here?
357
00:12:33,292 --> 00:12:35,042
I heard the music.
358
00:12:35,083 --> 00:12:36,251
Sorry if our dancing
359
00:12:36,252 --> 00:12:37,417
was disturbing you.
360
00:12:37,459 --> 00:12:38,500
Oh, nonsense!
361
00:12:38,542 --> 00:12:40,500
I love dancing, too.
362
00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:42,751
[chuckling]
363
00:12:42,792 --> 00:12:45,250
Oh, yeah! Shake it!
364
00:12:45,292 --> 00:12:48,167
Shake that moneymaker!
365
00:12:48,209 --> 00:12:49,272
[Adam/Tesla]: Oh, I think
366
00:12:49,273 --> 00:12:50,334
I'm going to be sick.
367
00:12:51,417 --> 00:12:53,042
And that's why
368
00:12:53,083 --> 00:12:54,792
the greatest scientific
369
00:12:54,793 --> 00:12:56,500
discovery of all time
370
00:12:56,542 --> 00:12:57,709
is the blindfold.
371
00:13:02,083 --> 00:13:03,542
[items crashing]
372
00:13:04,792 --> 00:13:05,876
[crashing and banging]
373
00:13:17,209 --> 00:13:18,897
For my presentation,
374
00:13:18,898 --> 00:13:20,584
I chose the discovery of fire.
375
00:13:20,626 --> 00:13:22,351
- Because it revolutionized
- human development,
376
00:13:22,375 --> 00:13:23,976
- Altering everything
- from the way we eat,
377
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,641
- To the tools we use,
- to where we live?
378
00:13:25,667 --> 00:13:27,147
No. Because I got a book
379
00:13:27,148 --> 00:13:28,626
of great discoveries,
380
00:13:28,667 --> 00:13:30,125
and fire was on page one.
381
00:13:35,667 --> 00:13:37,000
Look at her...
382
00:13:37,042 --> 00:13:38,250
she's so beautiful.
383
00:13:43,375 --> 00:13:44,375
But she won't give me
384
00:13:44,376 --> 00:13:45,376
the time of day.
385
00:13:45,417 --> 00:13:47,647
Mostly because we have
386
00:13:47,648 --> 00:13:49,876
no system for telling time.
387
00:13:49,918 --> 00:13:51,730
If you like her so much,
388
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,542
just ask her out.
389
00:13:55,375 --> 00:13:56,397
Club her over the head?
390
00:13:56,398 --> 00:13:57,417
I like to think
391
00:13:57,459 --> 00:14:01,083
we're more evolved than that.
392
00:14:01,125 --> 00:14:03,042
[both grunting primally]
393
00:14:05,667 --> 00:14:07,084
So, what do you have
394
00:14:07,085 --> 00:14:08,500
for lunch today?
395
00:14:08,542 --> 00:14:11,209
Berries and... a dead ferret.
396
00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:12,250
[bones crunching]
397
00:14:12,292 --> 00:14:14,500
Yow! OK... nearly dead.
398
00:14:16,250 --> 00:14:17,792
Hey! Cave-nerds!
399
00:14:17,834 --> 00:14:19,334
[both gasping]
400
00:14:19,375 --> 00:14:21,667
I'm hungry.
401
00:14:21,709 --> 00:14:23,667
- This is all my mom
- packed me for lunch.
402
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:27,083
You want food?
403
00:14:27,125 --> 00:14:28,125
You could do some
404
00:14:28,126 --> 00:14:29,126
hunting and gathering!
405
00:14:29,167 --> 00:14:30,876
Or go to the drive-thru.
406
00:14:30,918 --> 00:14:32,459
I don't have a car.
407
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:34,876
You should get one.
408
00:14:34,918 --> 00:14:36,251
These things are so much easier
409
00:14:36,252 --> 00:14:37,584
than walking.
410
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:38,918
[squawk! squawk!]
411
00:14:38,959 --> 00:14:40,042
[parrot]: It's a living.
412
00:14:42,250 --> 00:14:43,500
[squawks]
413
00:14:43,542 --> 00:14:44,918
Anyway, give me your lunches!
414
00:14:49,209 --> 00:14:51,500
Soggy flies? A dead ferret?
415
00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:53,710
- [bones crunching]
416
00:14:53,711 --> 00:14:55,876
- Ow! OK, nearly dead.
417
00:14:55,918 --> 00:14:57,685
- You know, it would be nice
- if, once in a while,
418
00:14:57,709 --> 00:14:58,855
You had a hot lunch
419
00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:00,000
for me to steal.
420
00:15:00,042 --> 00:15:01,667
A hot lunch?
421
00:15:01,709 --> 00:15:02,814
There's no such thing
422
00:15:02,815 --> 00:15:03,918
as a "hot lunch."
423
00:15:03,959 --> 00:15:05,751
The saying is "There's no
424
00:15:05,752 --> 00:15:07,542
such thing as a free lunch."
425
00:15:07,584 --> 00:15:08,897
Which is weird,
426
00:15:08,898 --> 00:15:10,209
because all my lunches are free.
427
00:15:11,876 --> 00:15:13,792
- He means no one's
- yet discovered
428
00:15:13,834 --> 00:15:16,209
A method to heat food.
429
00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:17,834
- Well, one of you
- better discover it
430
00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:19,709
- By the time
- big yellow sky-ball
431
00:15:19,751 --> 00:15:20,981
Disappears
432
00:15:20,982 --> 00:15:22,209
and comes back again.
433
00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:25,209
You mean "tomorrow"?
434
00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:26,521
You know I'm not
435
00:15:26,522 --> 00:15:27,792
an early adopter of new words!
436
00:15:30,042 --> 00:15:31,792
Anyway, I want a hot lunch
437
00:15:31,834 --> 00:15:32,959
to tooth-crunch
438
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,083
in my face-hole.
439
00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:36,918
Or else!
440
00:15:38,209 --> 00:15:41,834
[cracking up]
441
00:15:41,876 --> 00:15:43,626
Oops. That's my dating club.
442
00:15:45,626 --> 00:15:47,125
This is my threatening club!
443
00:15:47,167 --> 00:15:49,709
[screaming in terror]
444
00:15:49,751 --> 00:15:51,251
I'll be back in a down-up
445
00:15:51,252 --> 00:15:52,751
big yellow sky-ball.
446
00:15:54,709 --> 00:15:56,918
[gasping]
447
00:15:56,959 --> 00:15:58,626
OK, if we're gonna heat up food,
448
00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,667
we just need something hot...
449
00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,000
She's hot.
450
00:16:02,042 --> 00:16:04,542
[bug buzzing]
451
00:16:04,584 --> 00:16:05,834
[crunching loudly]
452
00:16:09,042 --> 00:16:12,125
[dreamily]: So hot.
453
00:16:12,167 --> 00:16:13,584
Not hot enough
454
00:16:13,585 --> 00:16:15,000
to make hot lunch.
455
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:17,334
We just need to concentrate.
456
00:16:17,375 --> 00:16:19,292
[??]
457
00:16:22,334 --> 00:16:23,959
Wait! I have an idea.
458
00:16:26,459 --> 00:16:28,626
Oh. No. Never mind. I don't.
459
00:16:31,459 --> 00:16:32,501
Oh! Maybe we can
460
00:16:32,502 --> 00:16:33,542
ask her for advice.
461
00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:37,584
Mrs. Byrne. Are you busy?
462
00:16:37,626 --> 00:16:39,605
Yes. I've got to go prepare
463
00:16:39,606 --> 00:16:41,584
the lesson for my history class.
464
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:42,976
- Although, it shouldn't
- take long,
465
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,626
Because there is no history.
466
00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:48,417
[sighing wearily]
467
00:16:48,459 --> 00:16:49,834
We'll just have to tell Slab
468
00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:51,751
- it's impossible
- to make hot food.
469
00:16:51,792 --> 00:16:52,980
Good idea.
470
00:16:52,981 --> 00:16:54,167
Let me know how it goes.
471
00:16:54,209 --> 00:16:56,105
And if I don't hear from you,
472
00:16:56,106 --> 00:16:58,000
I'll just assume not well.
473
00:16:58,042 --> 00:16:59,417
Why do I have to do it?
474
00:16:59,459 --> 00:17:01,209
[grumbles]: Fine.
475
00:17:01,250 --> 00:17:03,167
We'll settle this with a game of
476
00:17:03,168 --> 00:17:05,083
"Rock, rock, rock."
477
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:06,542
[both]: Rock. Rock. Rock!
478
00:17:08,834 --> 00:17:10,480
Rock beats rock!
479
00:17:10,481 --> 00:17:12,125
Sorry, man. Good luck.
480
00:17:12,167 --> 00:17:13,543
And, don't worry, I'll
481
00:17:13,544 --> 00:17:14,918
memorialize you in a cave
482
00:17:12,167 --> 00:17:14,918
painting.
483
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,876
Ahh, I stink at this game.
484
00:17:18,918 --> 00:17:22,000
Hey! Rock doesn't beat rock!
485
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,792
Sure it does.
486
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,751
No, nothing would happen
487
00:17:25,752 --> 00:17:27,667
if two rocks hit each other.
488
00:17:27,709 --> 00:17:28,792
Look.
489
00:17:32,292 --> 00:17:33,292
[bang]
490
00:17:33,334 --> 00:17:36,584
[gasps]: What was that?
491
00:17:36,626 --> 00:17:38,667
I don't know...
492
00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:40,310
- but, I think,
- before we try it again,
493
00:17:40,334 --> 00:17:42,042
- We should take
- proper precautions...
494
00:17:42,083 --> 00:17:43,250
[banging]
495
00:17:47,250 --> 00:17:49,000
I just created something hot!
496
00:17:51,042 --> 00:17:52,584
Do you know what this means?
497
00:17:52,626 --> 00:17:54,042
Yes, we now have a system
498
00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:55,480
by which we can
499
00:17:55,481 --> 00:17:56,876
heat up lunch for Slab!
500
00:17:56,918 --> 00:17:59,334
I didn't think of that.
501
00:17:59,375 --> 00:18:01,376
- It means I have a chance
- to make up a new word.
502
00:18:02,125 --> 00:18:03,584
Look at this thing.
503
00:18:03,626 --> 00:18:06,500
It's so majestic, so beautiful,
504
00:18:06,542 --> 00:18:08,459
so mesmerizing.
505
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:10,334
I will call it...
506
00:18:10,375 --> 00:18:15,500
"bla-a-a-a-a-ah...!"
507
00:18:17,834 --> 00:18:19,542
- You're going to name it
- after your mom?
508
00:18:21,876 --> 00:18:23,063
Well, I'm not going to
509
00:18:23,064 --> 00:18:24,250
name it after my dad, "Fire."
510
00:18:27,918 --> 00:18:29,147
Mm. This hot lunch
511
00:18:29,148 --> 00:18:30,375
is delicious.
512
00:18:31,542 --> 00:18:34,000
Hey! Get out of the road!
513
00:18:37,375 --> 00:18:39,042
What happened to my horn?
514
00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:40,542
Funny story!
515
00:18:40,584 --> 00:18:41,814
We cooked it
516
00:18:41,815 --> 00:18:43,042
and Slab's eating it.
517
00:18:43,083 --> 00:18:45,000
[laughing loudly]
518
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:47,959
That is a funny story.
519
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,167
I don't find it funny.
520
00:18:53,959 --> 00:18:57,918
Uh, you're big... so...
521
00:18:57,959 --> 00:18:59,876
[forces laughter]
522
00:19:04,709 --> 00:19:06,272
Well, now that you've
523
00:19:06,273 --> 00:19:07,834
got your "hot lunch,"
524
00:19:07,876 --> 00:19:09,188
I guess you'll...
525
00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:10,500
leave us alone?
526
00:19:10,542 --> 00:19:12,459
Not likely.
527
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:14,125
I'm still hungry.
528
00:19:14,167 --> 00:19:16,918
Now bring me another car horn!
529
00:19:16,959 --> 00:19:18,834
For dessert...
530
00:19:18,876 --> 00:19:20,042
fruit-ball pie.
531
00:19:25,959 --> 00:19:27,876
[screaming in terror]
532
00:19:31,083 --> 00:19:33,375
So, in conclusion...
533
00:19:33,417 --> 00:19:34,542
"Fire, good."
534
00:19:40,626 --> 00:19:41,709
[whispers]: Derby!
535
00:19:44,334 --> 00:19:45,959
Your mailbox was full,
536
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,480
so I brought by my idea
537
00:19:47,481 --> 00:19:48,959
for your presentation.
538
00:19:49,042 --> 00:19:50,835
The worst scientific
539
00:19:50,836 --> 00:19:52,626
discovery ever... gravity.
540
00:19:52,667 --> 00:19:54,709
- If that clown Newton
- had left well enough alone,
541
00:19:54,751 --> 00:19:55,793
My hair wouldn't have
542
00:19:55,794 --> 00:19:56,834
fallen out.
543
00:19:56,876 --> 00:19:58,250
It'd be hovering over my head.
544
00:20:00,626 --> 00:20:02,709
- It's supposed to be
- the greatest discovery ever.
545
00:20:02,751 --> 00:20:04,481
What? So, I don't get
546
00:20:04,482 --> 00:20:06,209
the baby-doll t-shirt?
547
00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:07,501
But it would've gone so well
548
00:20:07,502 --> 00:20:08,751
with these Daisy Dukes.
549
00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:12,709
[students groaning]
550
00:20:20,334 --> 00:20:21,935
- Well, we've heard about
- some amazing,
551
00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:23,356
And not-so-amazing
552
00:20:23,357 --> 00:20:24,751
discoveries today...
553
00:20:24,792 --> 00:20:26,480
The bus pass, the light bulb,
554
00:20:26,481 --> 00:20:28,167
fire, radiation,
555
00:20:28,209 --> 00:20:29,459
the "spork"...
556
00:20:31,125 --> 00:20:35,250
and, of course...
557
00:20:35,292 --> 00:20:36,834
the pull-my-finger gag.
558
00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:40,251
No! I'm not falling
559
00:20:40,252 --> 00:20:42,000
for that again.
560
00:20:42,042 --> 00:20:44,042
Anyway, who can say
561
00:20:44,083 --> 00:20:46,459
- what the greatest
- scientific discovery really is?
562
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:48,417
- -[door opening]
- -I can.
563
00:20:48,459 --> 00:20:50,042
It is, of course,
564
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:51,147
the adult
565
00:20:51,148 --> 00:20:52,209
absorbent undergarment,
566
00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:54,147
which was invented during a time
567
00:20:54,148 --> 00:20:56,042
of great adversity.
568
00:20:56,083 --> 00:20:57,647
Who has heard
569
00:20:57,648 --> 00:20:59,209
of "the war of 1812?"
570
00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:01,542
[collectively groaning]
571
00:21:03,042 --> 00:21:05,167
[trumpet blasting]
572
00:21:05,209 --> 00:21:06,605
I was in a foxhole,
573
00:21:06,606 --> 00:21:08,000
loading my musket,
574
00:21:08,042 --> 00:21:10,375
when I realized...
575
00:21:10,417 --> 00:21:11,959
I've had
576
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,500
too much sarsaparilla!
577
00:21:13,542 --> 00:21:14,731
But it's not safe
578
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:15,918
to leave my foxhole!
579
00:21:15,959 --> 00:21:17,542
[artillery detonating nearby]
580
00:21:17,584 --> 00:21:19,460
I need some sort of
581
00:21:19,461 --> 00:21:21,334
absorbent undergarment.
582
00:21:21,375 --> 00:21:22,564
I could fashion it
583
00:21:22,565 --> 00:21:23,751
out of this potato sack,
584
00:21:23,792 --> 00:21:25,459
fill it with cotton,
585
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:26,959
and cinch it up
586
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:28,417
with some twine!
587
00:21:28,459 --> 00:21:30,500
[incoming artillery screaming]
588
00:21:30,542 --> 00:21:32,626
[loud, close explosion]
589
00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:35,876
Too late.
590
00:21:35,926 --> 00:21:40,476
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