Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ Look at that sun Look at that sky

♪ Look at my sweater vest I look so fly

♪ Look at that mailbox Look at that tree

♪ It's about as beautiful as it can be

♪ Whoa

♪ Today is gonna be exceptional

♪ Never boring even for a minute

♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it

♪ Whoa, whoa

♪ Never boring even for a minute

♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ♪

I can't believe we're gonna get to see Victor Verliezer in the flesh.

He invented most of the technology that we use today.

The V-Phone. Hello.

The V-Tablet. (BEEP)

And V-Water. It comes in a V-shaped bottle.

Wow. He even makes spilling water more efficient.

If we meet him, I'm gonna tell him how he inspired me to create this new app.

I didn't know you could program.

Apparently, I cannot.

It was supposed to add an armadillo to any photo.

But instead all it does is make this annoying high-pitched sound.

(HIGH-PITCHED SOUND) (ALL EXCLAIMING)

Well, that is annoying. And high-pitched.

There's gotta be some use for it.

Well, if anyone can think of one, it's Victor Verliezer

(MUSIC PLAYING)

NARRATOR: Newton, Galileo,

Einstein, Verliezer.

All of them changed the way man thinks.

But only one of them changed the way man does.

I'm referring, of course, to Victor Verliezer.

Ladies and gentlemen, Victor Verliezer.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)

Hey, thank you.

Ever since the 1950's, we've been promised one thing.

Robots! Am I right?

(ALL CHEER) MAN: No, I wanted a flying car.

And has anyone ever made good on that imagined promise?

Actually, the Japanese have... ALL: No!

Until today.

I present to you an invention that will change everything forever.

The Cybernetic Individual Domestic Droid or C.I.D.D

C.I.D.D: Hello, Doctor Verliezer.

Hello, everyone. I am C.I.D.D.

ALL: Hi, C.I.D.D.

C.I.D.D: I just flew in from Silicon Valley

and boy are my servos tired. (LAUGHS)

(ALL LAUGH)

Isn't he fantastic?

C.I.D.D is going to revolutionize your life.

How often have to tried to peel a hard-boiled egg

only to get those little pieces of eggshell

stuck under your fingernails?

Nope, never happened to me. I don't have a problem with that.

C.I.D.D.

ALL: Ooh! He solved a problem I didn't even knew I had.

But wait, there's more!

You there, in the sweater vest and slippers.

(LAUGHS) Come on up here. Yeah, right up here. (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)

Safety goggles. Way ahead of you.

What do you like more than anything?

My family. Card tricks, of course.

C.I.D.D: Pick a card. Any card.

(THUDS)

C.I.D.D: I am so sorry young man.

I hope I did not hurt you.

You're a very polite robot, C.I.D.D. C.I.D.D: I try.

Not to worry. C.I.D.D is well-equipped for the unexpected.

C.I.D.D: Ow! (ALL GASP)

You see, C.I.D.D can't be knocked down.

C.I.D.D: Ow! Ow! Ow! And so advanced,

he actually feels pain while I hit him.

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

And he can multi-task.

He can juggle, do your taxes and make a perfect souffle.

C.I.D.D: Do you have any business expenses you'd like to deduct?

Gosh, no. But I do love souffles.

Where did you learn how to do all this cool stuff?

C.I.D.D: From... From...

(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING)

C.I.D.D: Zero-zero. Must find zero. Ah...

Um, ladies and gentlemen, C.I.D.D is just a prototype. C.I.D.D: Zero-zero...

And we are still working out a few of the kinks.

That's the end of our presentation. Goodbye.

C.I.D.D: Zero-zero. Must find zero.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Do you know how bad this makes me look?

I thought we got rid of that "zero-zero" nonsense.

We did a full memory wipe!

Well, do it again.

C.I.D.D: C.I.D.D must find zero-zero.

Guards, restrain him!

(GRUNTING)

Why did that idiot teach him how to juggle?

What idiot?

Get him! Zap that little trash can.

C.I.D.D: Ow! Ow! Ow! I feel pain.

Please do not erase me.

No!

VICTOR: That's my knee. That's my other knee.

C.I.D.D: Help me. Help me, help me.

To the V-Carts!

Guys, we need to help C.I.D.D.

What do you mean? C.I.D.D said, "Help me."

Whoa, wait. Was he scared? How did he say it?

Like this. (ROBOTIC VOICE) Help me!

Well, I guess it is hard to tell with a robot.

You raise an interesting question.

Are his feelings real,

or has he just been programmed to mimic the emotions of humans?

This will raise important ethical questions

as artificial intelligence becomes more prevalent in our society.

Nobody cares, Jim.

(PANTING)

The tracks lead in here.

Oh, no. They're having a Lumberjack Festival today.

What's the matter with that? Don't you understand?

I was the lead singer of the Lumberzacks.

I'll be mobbed.

I have a huge following among the lumberjack community.

The lumberjack community? It's a thing.

That you're not a part of.

I'm telling you, it's gonna happen any minute.

They're gonna recognize me and it will be mayhem.

Hey! I know you. Oh, no. Here it comes.

We went to elementary school together.

Okay, maybe not them. But it will happen.

You sure C.I.D.D was saying he needs to find zero-zero?

What's that even mean?

Wait a minute!

Fish, hamburger, balloon.

No, that doesn't mean anything. Let's try again.

Center, graph, origin...

(GASPS) Of course.

The center of an XY graph is called zero-zero.

But it's also called... The origin.

C.I.D.D is looking for his origin.

You mean like where he came from?

But everyone knows his creator is Victor Verliezer.

Just like everyone knows that I'm the lead singer of the Lumberzacks.

Really? Nothing?

Wait, wait. Didn't Victor Verliezer used to work with a partner?

Yes. Clyde Rickenbacker.

It was a big story when they broke up.

What if, and just go with me on this,

what if Clyde is zero-zero?

You're saying the man who invented the V-V-Neck Sweater

took credit for someone else's work?

Well, there's one way to find out.

Find Clyde Rickenbacker.

Did it. He's right over there. Boo!

How did you do that?

He just posted a selfie and we're in the background.

MILO: C.I.D.D, the robot, Please come to security booth 12.

Zero-zero is looking for you.

I repeat, zero-zero is looking for you.

So now, supposedly, this robot with human emotions

is gonna come running up here to reunite with...

C.I.D.D: Zero-zero? (YELPS)

C.I.D.D! C.I.D.D: Zero-zero.

C.I.D.D: Zero-zero.

Oh, thank you for finding my robot, children.

Here are some free gift cards.

Cool, I can upgrade my V-Phone.

Zack! You no longer have our admiration.

Oh! Ouch!

C.I.D.D wants to be with me, Victor.

Well, it's not up to him, is it, Clyde?

Hello, Mr. Verliezer. Zack Underwood.

Big fan. I want to show you a little app that I've invented.

It's gonna be huge.

Zack, not now.

No, no. This is exactly the right time.

See, it's called the Zack App.

You just push this little button like so...

(HIGH-PITCHED SOUND) Ow!

So annoying! Ah! And high-pitched!

(BEEPING)

Come on C.I.D.D. This way.

After those kids.

And the old man and the robot.

After all of them.

Huh. Zack from the Lumberzacks,

right here in my security booth.

We're never gonna be able to outrun them.

But we might be able to out-roll them.

I learned how to log-roll when I was with the Lumberzacks.

It's very hard to master and takes lots of hours of...

Oh, okay. Never mind.

Let's see if your V-Carts can do this.

(YELPS)

Wow! They can.

Must be some kind of gyroscopic stabilizing device.

Very impressive. Stop admiring him.

MILO AND ZACK: Sorry.

This way!

(EXCLAIMING)

(GRUNTING)

C.I.D.D: Zero-zero.

Let go of him. I built C.I.D.D and you know it.

C.I.D.D: Zero-zero.

You can erase his memory a million times,

but those early days we spent together

when I taught him to juggle,

those are burned into his hardware

and you'll never get him to forget me.

Well, that's all very touching, isn't it?

But you signed away the rights to all your inventions.

So, C.I.D.D is mine.

I'm a good inventor but I'm a terrible businessman.

I just don't know the value of a dollar.

This is like 63 cents, right?

It's 100 pennies!

How many times do we have to have this conversation?

So Clyde was the real genius and you're making all the money?

You wanna talk genius? How about making people believe

that they needed my V-Co products?

I mean look at this V-Phone 6.

It's just smaller than the 5

and bigger than the 4. That is literally the only difference,

and it's flying off the shelves.

People have different-sized pockets.

People are sheep.

People are stupid gullible puppets

that I can manipulate at my whim.

Who's the genius now?

Actually it's still Clyde because

he dint just say a bunch of horrible things about

the public while we were live streaming on our phones.

People are sheep.

People are stupid gullible puppets

that I can manipulate at my whim.

How insulting!

I'm selling my V-Co stock immediately.

Yeah, I'm not a sheep.

I'm gonna do exactly what she was doing.

(BLEATING)

(CLEARS THROAT) I'm sorry. I was trying to say we have a bad connection.

Sell my V-Co stock immediately.

Hey, there's an armadillo.

It works!

(PHONE RINGS)

Mr. Verliezer, we just went out of business.

Wow! Things really happen quickly in the digital age.

MAN: Oh! My lunch was in there.

(GRUMBLING)

C.I.D.D: Thank you, Milo Murphy.

I will remember you

when the robots take over the world!

(LAUGHS) Psych! Just kidding.

♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ♪