Original subtitles

You never take me with you when you see your friends.

You'd be bored. - You're ashamed of me.

Fuck. You're ashamed of me. - I'm ashamed of my friends.

You'd be bored. - Take me with you and we'll see.

No. - Why not?

You'd just be bored.

Go fuck yourself - You go fuck yourself

This isn't our stop. - Let's walk the rest of the way.

We never fight like that in public. - Of course not.

We're a team. - That's right.

Although you have a slightly annoying habit -

of imitating my dialect. - No, I don't.

Yes, you do. If I ask you something in my dialect, -

you answer in my dialect.

As if all people who speak in a dialect are simpletons.

Well, you don't hesitate telling people -

about my third testicle. - What? I don't do that.

"We have three kids."

"Really? Micke has three testicles." - I've never said that.

"We need an apartment big enough for Micke's balls." - C'mon.

And my favorite "Have you seen the film Great Balls of Fire?"

"No, but Micke's got three balls." - I'm proud of it.

You know I would've had it removed if I wasn't so lazy.

Can I still think of it as your secret source of power?

You can, but you can tone it down a bit.

IDIOMATIC

Holy fuck.

I remember Mom talking about a second bedroom.

If there had been one, we couldn't have moved here. - Why not?

Moving into a luxury apartment owned by your parents -

is humiliating enough.

But this I can live with. A living room, bedroom and kitchen.

I wouldn't mind another bedroom.

While my brother lives with his girlfriend -

in a tiny studio apartment in the sticks? - Yes.

Are you still mad at him? - Yes.

Because he scared you? - He fired a shotgun behind me.

It's his way of introducing himself.

It's an insane way to introduce oneself.

What's that? - A fucking ugly painting.

#unrecognized text#

#unrecognized text#

Isn't this a nice apartment? - Yes, but way too big for us.

We don't need that room.

You could rent this -

to a family with kids. Right, Micke?

Nonsense. You can use this as your home office, -

leisure room or pig room.

Pig room? - Pig room.

What's that? - Pig room.

What is it in your mother tongue Swedish? - Grisrummet .

Pig room. - Pig room.

Mom has one room full of pig statues, pig posters -

and other pig paraphernalia. The room is called pig room.

Did I say it wrong in Finnish? - No, it's just weird.

Micke, should we make this our pig room?

I almost forgot. I met Petski - Who's Petski?

Micke's best friend. - He was my best friend.

I haven't seen him in years. - He said he'd help you move.

I think we'll manage.

Have you asked anyone else? - 171 find someone.

I can ask my little brother. - What a great idea!

Petski, wait. - What? - I'll step down.

All right. Yeah.

We can leave it here.

Thanks.

What are you going to use this room for?

We don't know yet. - Put a home theater system in here.

You can borrow a big screen and a 5.1 sound system from me.

Really? - For free.

I updated my home theater but couldn't sell the old one, -

so you can borrow it. - Aino will probably say no.

You're not going to ask her. - What?

Shoot first, ask questions later.

Or shoot first and then tell her that there was a shooting.

Once something happens, people get used to it.

They don't try to change it. If there's shit on the street, -

it's easier to spread it to the field -

than shove it back into the horse. - Right.

You're a consultant? - Yes. You're an architect?

What's your latest project? - Bankruptcy.

Your first? - Yeah.

The first bankruptcy is like your first child.

Ifs a black tunnel. There's no hope.

You think you're gonna die.

At some point you wish you were dead.

You're sure your life is over. You're living a nightmare.

The second one is easier. You're like, "Oh, this again."

Did you lose a lot?

We had to sell our apartment and move here,

and I had to start working for my dad.

Can you consult me on how to get 30,000 euros -

so I don't have to work for my dad?

Do you smoke? - No.

There's your solution. Sell one lung for 30,000.

You got the couch in.

You must be Aino. 1;m Petski. Hi.

Petski comes from Peter? - Petri.

Petri. - Petri, Peter, Petski. use all of them.

I heard you write articles for Long Play magazine. - Yeah.

You wrote that one about the housing market in Helsinki.

Yeah. Did you read it? - Yes. It was very insightful.

Thanks. Want a beer? - Weren't we supposed to go eat somewhere?

Let's have a beer first and get to know each other.

Bring the regular kind. - Yup.

Hello? Nice. - Yeah.

How long have you been together? - Three years. - Okay.

I gotta ask... - Don't ask that.

Ask what? - If I've gotten backdoor sex.

Why would I ask that? - You always ask that.

I was thinking of asking -

if you're thinking about having kids.

But now that you mentioned it, have you gotten backdoor sex?

What backdoor are you talking about?

Backdoor political deals.

I just saw a documentary. - What documentary?

The shocking one about backdoor politics. - Oh, that one.

Have you seen it? - No.

Gee. - It sounds interesting.

How can we get Micke more interested in current issues?

Maybe you should give him some backdoor sex.

So how about we go and eat somewhere?

Let's talk and drink first.

Even if your parents don't want us to pay rent, -

we will, right? - Absolutely.

An amount we can pay and live with.

That will preserve our independence and dignity. - Exactly.

300. - That isn't even enough to cover the maintenance.

Will 300 really preserve your dignity?

500 then. - 700. - Okay.

And I don't want them to have our key. - I don't either.

Do I look like someone who has syphilis?

No. You look totally syphilis-free.

Just a little overdressed maybe.

#unrecognized text#

Oh, thank you. - Nice.

#unrecognized text#

Oh, Phil Collins. - Yeah.

He's a badass. - I don't know about that.

He's succeeded -

in both the film and music industries.

Has Phil Collins succeeded in the film industry?

Well, there were the Die Hard films, -

and he was in Pulp Fiction - and all the other films.

What else has he been in? - That sci-fi film we saw together.

Twelve Monkeys . - Right.

Does your dad get Phil Collins and Bruce Willis confused?

Apparently. - Why don't you tell him?

I don't know. - The Sixth Sense was good.

Phil Collins was on fire in that one. - Striking Distance.

One of Phil Collins's best. - Oh yes.

It would feel more like our home if we only had the key.

Yes, you can have our key.

Then there's rent.

We'd like to pay you rent. - Absolutely not.

Use your limited funds on something fun.

They're not that limited. I get paid okay.

This is a matter of principle.

We don't want any nepotism. - That's right.

Okay. 1,200.

1,200? - I don't get paid that well.

I'm your son. - And I'm pregnant.

A joke. I guess it was a bad one.

1 I don't know what the going rate is

Would 700 a month be okay? - Yes.

But for that rate, we keep the other key.

That's okay.

You're sure your dad is okay with you changing the locks?

I wouldn't do it without his permission.

The old lock had four keys. Plus one for the superintendent.

Do you want as many keys for this one?

No. Two plus one is enough.

How long will you be gone? - Three hours max.

Don't lend money to your brother.

He already owes us 3,000.

Bye' - Bye.

What's the next stage of this brilliant plan? - Huh?

Aino will come home and call me a technofreak.

She'll make me take this apart.

No, no. When Aino comes home, -

you say, "Sit here, honey."

What's her favorite film? - Die Hard .

Perfect. You put Die Hard on.

She'll change her mind by the time -

the skyscraper blows up in the end -

and this subwoofer will rumble so loud -

that the chandelier downstairs will fall -

and kill the old lady's dogs. - She's still alive and kicking?

She's not exactly kicking, but she's alive.

But don't worry, she's deaf. You can pump up the volume.

Mickel

Hi! - Hi. - Frega and unkkis!

What are you old jack-offs doing here?

Hi. - Ciao.

You want coffae? - Yeah.

One more coffee, please. It's on me.

Wow. - I've got money.

And everything's great at home? - Oh, yes.

You? - I have anxiety.

Micke? - No, our new home.

You don't like it?

We live in the most expensive neighborhood in the city.

The area is really nice, and we have a huge apartment.

We have wooden floors and an amazing kitchen. I love it.

But? - First of all, it's too big for us.

And we got it because Micke's company went bankrupt.

It's insane.

At the same time there's a housing shortage in Helsinki.

Over 20 percent of the apartments in our area are vacant -

because their filthy rich owners have multiple houses.

I couldn't do what you're doing.

What about Micke? - Yeah, I have anxiety because of him too.

Did he hit you? - What? Of course not.

That would be a sight. Huh?

Micke just can't win. Either he's a wife beater -

or too big of a wuss to beat his wife. - I didn't mean that.

Except that you did. - Continue.

He's a great guy, but I think -

there's this rich upper-class kid inside him that's starting -

to take over now that he's back where he grew up.

Or am I just overthinking it?

Thank God, / know a cure Bomfaderee faderallanley

Half a shot will fix the situation Bomfaderee faderallanley

Grab your glass! Bottoms up!

You can never have too much booze Bornfaderee faderallanley

Let's take it from the top, a minor third higher.

How's it going with you and Elina? - Really well.

Really well? You look like you slept on the street.

I didn't sleep on the street.

Why did you stress the word "street"? - Huh?

Where did you sleep then? - In a park.

Why did you sleep in a park?

It's one of those things everyone should try once, -

like BASE jumping, line dancing and horse betting.

Did Elina kick you out? - Yeah, but this is temporary.

Your situation with Elina? - No, that went belly up.

This homelessness is temporary.

You're standing there like Hannibal Lecter!

I heard the door and thought it was you. I have a surprise.

Hi! - Jussi needs a home.

Okay, I can ask around. - He needs a home now.

You can stay overnight and start looking for an apartment tomorrow.

You have a surprise for me?

What's that?

Oh, for fuck's sake!

I can live with this.

So... - Petski gave it to me.

It's horrible. - It's not.

I've always dreamed of having a home theater. - You haven't.

I have. And we've been watching your tiny TV for years.

What other surprises did Petski leave here? A stripper pole?

Sex swing in the kitchen? - You're exaggerating.

Didn't we agree we'd make this cozy and our own?

Yes, but high tech isn't cozy.

And because I live here, -

this room has to fit my needs. - You don't live here.

Micke, that horrible thing can stay only if my brother's staying.

Are you blackmailing me? - No.

Okay, a little. - You should ask me before making big decisions.

It's easy to decide between an inanimate object and a loved one.

I choose the loved one. - Thanks.

The home theater. Micke, this is an opportunity to grow.

I promise to grow once you've paid your debt. - Huh?

You owe us three grand. - Micke.

You have three testicles. - What? - Jussi.

You have three testicles. - So what?

Three testicles, three grand. - Number three in both, but so what?

You could work in a freak show with those triplets -

and earn that three grand.

What? - Whoa! Die Hard!

Wow, does this have Dolby Digital sound system or something?

Jussi, you can stay here overnight.

We'll figure out something tomorrow.

Thanks. That's all I ask.

Who's that? - A friend who's moving my stuff in.

What the fuck?

I'll go buzz him in.

Wow. Nice home theater.

How did you get in?

Nice try, but we give the superintendent -

a Christmas tree every year.

Superintendent Svante? - Svante and me, we go way back.

How well do you know him? - So well that I know his name is Riku.

At least he knows my name, and that's what matters.

Ah, Phil Collins.

What?

What's your favorite pig?

It's like asking which child is your favorite.

Yes, you love them equally.

No, the first one is the favorite.

You mean Edith? - Yes, Micke's big sister.

This is my first and favorite pig. Gunvald.

Gunvald.