Original subtitles

>> [ WHISTLING ] >> Edd: BRBRBRBRB, YEAH!

>> All: GREETINGS, FELLOW CLUCKERS!

>> Edd: THE HAPPY CLUCKERS CLUB IS NOW CALLED TO ORDER.

[ ROOSTER CROWS ] [ HEART BEATS ]

[ ROOSTER CROWS ] [ HEART BEATS ]

>> Edd: EGG-CEPTIONAL PROGRESS, JONNY.

>> Jonny: RIGHT ON!

WE'RE GONNA HAVE US A FAMILY, BUDDY!

>> Edd: AND WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?

>> Ed: [ LAUGHING ] >> I LIKE...Y-YOU.

>> Edd: [ CHUCKLING ] >> Sarah: MY BROTHER THE IDIOT.

>> Edd: WELL, I THOUGHT IT WAS RATHER HUMOROUS, ED.

>> Jimmy: TEACHER'S PET.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ] >> Lee: [ LAUGHS ]

>> Marie: OH, LOOK, A CROWD.

>> Lee: MUST BE A GOOD PLACE TO EAT.

WHO'S UP FOR SOME EGGS?

>> Marie: I'LL HAVE MINE SUNNY SIDE UP.

>> May: OVER EASY, PRETTY PLEASE.

>> All: [ SCREAMING ] >> Edd: OH, LADIES, PERHAPS A

QUIET PERUSAL OF THIS BOOK SO YOU, TOO, CAN DISCOVER THE

WONDERS OF EGG HATCHERY FOR YOURSELVES.

>> Lee: SWEET TALKING WON'T GET YOU EVERYWHERE.

AAAH!

>> Marie: HEY, WHAT'S YOUR GAME, MISTER?

>> Lee: YOUR KLUTZO BOYFRIEND CLOBBERED MY FOOT, THAT'S WHAT!

>> Edd: LEE, I DO APOLOGIZE.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

>> Marie: I BET.

COME ON, MAY, LET'S GET LEE TO THE SCHOOL NURSE.

>> Edd: [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] SHALL WE CONTINUE TENDING TO OUR

EGGS WITH A GENTLE ORGANIC-COTTON-BUD MASSAGE?

>> Nazz: DUDE, DID YOU HEAR, WHAT, LIKE WENT DOWN YESTERDAY?

>> Kevin: NO, WHAT?

>> Nazz: YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS, BUT DOUBLE D MADE

LEE KANKER'S FOOT SWELL UP LIKE A BEACH BALL.

>> Kevin: YEAH, RIGHT.

WHAT'D HE USE, THE DEADLY ART OF ALGEBRA?

[ LAUGHS ] >> Nazz: NO, SERIOUSLY.

I HEARD THEY HAD TO USE A WHOLE REFRIGERATOR OF ICE JUST TO STOP

HER BIG TOE FROM BALLOONING.

>> Edd: [ HUMMING ] >> Eddy: YOU SENT A KANKER

PACKING?

BA HA!

WHAT'D YOU USE, THE DEADLY ART OF ALLERGIES?

>> Ed: DO NOT TAUNT THE "D," EDDY.

I WAS THERE.

>> Edd: OH, PLEASE.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, HONESTLY.

I FEEL JUST AWFUL.

>> Rolf: HEAVENS, OH, GOOD BOY, ROLF REQUIRES YOUR ASSISTANCE.

MIGHT YOU HAVE A SPARE WRITING STICK?

ROLF'S HAS BEEN REDUCED TO THAT OF THE SIZE OF A BABY'S BAZOO.

>> WHY, OF COURSE I DO, ROLF.

[ RATTLING ] >> Rolf: AH-HOO!

[ RATTLING ] >> Rolf: AH-HOO!

ROLF WOULD HAVE TAKEN A SIMPLE "NO, NOT TODAY," YES?

>> Nazz: DUDE, IT'S ALWAYS THE QUIET ONES, I SWEAR.

>> Sarah: DID YOU SEE THE LOOK IN HIS EYES?

>> Jimmy: WE DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING, SARAH.

>> Edd: BUT I...I -- >> Jonny: HEAD FOR THE HILLS,

BUDDY!

DOUBLE D's CRACKED!

LOST IT, I TELL YOU!

>> Eddy: DOUBLE D, I NEVER KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU.

YOU'RE AN ANIMAL.

POW! KABLOOEY!

BA-BOOM!

OH, WHERE YOU GOING?

>> Ed: DOUBLE D HAS FALLEN DOWN THE DEEP, DARK CRACK BETWEEN THE

COUCH PILLOWS OF LIFE, EDDY, SLIPPING THROUGH THE FUZZ OF OUR

BELLY BUTTON EXISTENCE.

FORAGING...

[ SILENCE ] >> Eddy: WE'RE GONNA RULE THIS

DUMP, ED.

[ BELL RINGS ] >> Rolf: HOW CAN ONE WHO WEARS A

SOCK ON HIS HEAD DO THIS?

I ASK YOU.

>> Kevin: DUDE, YOU SHOULD FRAME THAT.

[ INDISTINCT WHISPERING ] >> Jimmy: [ WHIMPERING ]

>> Eddy: GIVE ME THAT.

>> Edd: WHY ARE YOU ALL LEAVING?

>> Eddy: YEAH, WHY YOU LEAVING?

>> Edd: DIDN'T I SAY THAT ALREADY, EDDY?

>> Eddy: HERE, LET ME HELP YOU.

PRETTY GOOD SEAT, HUH?

>> Sarah:[ [ GROWLING ] WHO THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU

ARE?

>> Jimmy: NO, SARAH, DON'T.

YOU CAN'T.

HE'S WATCHING.

>> Ed: JUST ME.

>> Edd: WHY IS ED SITTING WAY OVER THERE?

>> Eddy: WAY OVER THERE -- YOU ARE SO RIGHT.

OOH, ROLF'S GOT GRAPES.

>> Edd: UM...

>> Marie: THAT'S MY PIE.

I SAW IT FIRST.

>> Jonny: NO WAY.

WE SAW IT FIRST.

>> Marie: IN YOUR DREAMS, WEIRDO.

>> Jonny: PLANK HAD FIRST DIBS BEFORE YOU AND YOUR BAD VIBES

SHOWED UP.

>> Marie: GIVE ME IT.

>> Jonny: NO!

>> Marie: GIVE ME IT!

>> Jonny: WHAT ARE YOU, HARD OF HEARING?

>> Marie: LET GO, KID.

>> Jonny: IT'S PLANK'S!

>> Marie: ASK ME IF I CARE.

>> Edd: [ CLEARS THROAT ] PARDON MY INTRUSION, BUT SURELY

A COMPROMISE IS NOT OUT OF THE QUESTION.

>> Jonny: HAVE I STOPPED YET?

>> Eddy: WHO'S NEXT?

[ HUMMING "MEXICAN HAT DANCE" ] >> Kevin: OH, MAN.

>> Nazz: NOT COOL.

>> Jimmy: VICIOUSNESS, THY NAME IS DOUBLE D.

>> Eddy: OLé!

>> Edd: PLEASE, LET ME EXPLAIN.

>> Eddy: YEAH, LET HIM.

>> FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!

[ SCREAMING ] >> Edd: THERE'S BEEN A GREAT

BREACH OF JUDGMENT.

>> Eddy: YEAH!

BREACH THE HECK OUT OF THEM, DOUBLE D.

>> Edd: THINGS ARE NOT AS THEY APPEAR.

>> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME?

TAKE MY MONEY...

[ COINS CLINKING ] MY COMB...

MY MOISTURIZING LOTIONS.

TAKE IT! TAKE IT!

>> Edd: SARAH?

YOU CERTAINLY CAN'T BELIEVE...

>> Ed: STAY AWAY!

STAY AWAY FROM MY BABY SISTER, YOU MEANIE.

>> Edd: ED, MY DEAR FRIEND, HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?

>> Ed: WE ARE FRIENDS NO MORE!

MY MOM SAYS I CAN'T BE CHUMS WITH A FIGHTING FISTICUFFS LIKE

YOU.

[ SNIFFLES ] [ GULPS ]

[ BOTH SOBBING ] >> Edd: THIS ENDS NOW!

>> Ed: AAH!

HOLY SMOLIES!

UNCLE! UNCLE!

AAH!

AAAH!

RUN AWAY!

>> Edd: COME BACK HERE, YOU!

>> Kevin: NOW'S OUR CHANCE.

>> Sarah: Jimmy, GET OUT OF THERE!

>> Eddy: YEAH!

YOU BETTER RUN, 'CAUSE DOUBLE D's GOT ALL YOUR

NUMBERS...AND YOUR ADDRESSES.

OH, YEAH!

I'M PUMPED, BABY!

MAYBE A LITTLE ROUGH ON ED, HUH?

HE IS OUR PAL, YOU KNOW.

RIGHT.

YOU KNOW BEST.

SO, HEY, I'M GONNA GO MAKE NAZZ RUB MY FEET.

>> Edd: WHAT HAVE I BECOME?

ARE THESE INDEED THE HANDS OF A LOWLY THUG?

[ CRASH ] ED?

IS THAT YOU?

HERE, LET ME HAVE YOUR HAND.

>> Jimmy: AAH!

LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU GOONEY GORILLA.

YOU PUNKY PALOOKA.

YOU ROWDY ROUSER.

AAH!

[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ] >> Edd: OH, WHAT'S THE USE?

NO ONE WILL EVER BELIEVE I'M ANYTHING MORE THAN A

RAMBUNCTIOUS ROUGHNECK!

[ SOBBING ] >> Jimmy: DOUBLE D!

[ SOBBING STOPS ] [ ELECTRICITY BUZZES ]

YOU'VE CROSS-POLLINATED A ROSE WITH A BABY-BLUE GYM SOCK.

>> Jimmy: ONLY HANDS AS GENTLE AS HUMMINGBIRDS' WINGS COULD

HAVE SPLICED THE TWO TOGETHER.

I BELIEVE YOU, DOUBLE D.

>> Edd: YOU DO?

OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, JIMMY.

IF ONLY THE OTHERS HAD LISTENED TO MY PLEAS OF INNOCENCE.

>> Jimmy: SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED A SHOULDER TO CRY ON, DOUBLE D.

BE RIGHT WITH YOU.

[ HUMMING ] GIVE ME THE DIRT, AND DON'T

SPARE ME THE DETAILS.

[ HUMMING ] >> Edd: OH, JIMMY, I'M BLURRED,

BEWILDERED, BEFUDDLED AT THIS -- THIS MELEE OF MISINTERPRETATION.

FIRST, WITH MY BOOK ACCIDENTLY PLUNGING ON TOP OF LEE'S FOOT --

A FORTUITOUS MISHAP, I ASSURED THEM.

YET I SENSED THE SEED OF DOUBT HERE.

THEN ROLF.

OH, DEAR FRIEND ROLF.

HE WAS IN NEED OF A NEW PENCIL, HIS WORN, UNUSABLE.

I WAS ONLY TOO HAPPY TO PROVIDE HIM WITH ONE.

WHY, OF COURSE I DO, ROLF.

>> Rolf: ROLF WOULD HAVE TAKEN A SIMPLE "NO, NOT TODAY," YES?

>> Edd: ANOTHER REGRETTABLE BLUNDER, AS WOULD BE THE NEXT.

>> Marie: THAT'S MY PIE.

I SAW IT FIRST.

>> Jonny: NO WAY.

WE SAW IT FIRST.

>> Edd: REMEMBERING MOTHER HAD PACKED MY LUNCH WITH A SLICE OF

HER HEAVENLY APPLE CRUMBLE PIE, I THOUGHT THE BEST THING TO

COMPOSE THIS CONFLICT WOULD BE TO SHARE IT.

TO NO AVAIL!

ONCE AGAIN, MY GOOD INTENTIONS WERE COWED BY MY GAWKISH

DEMEANOR.

>> Ed: STAY AWAY!

>> Edd: THEN CAME THE WORST BLOW OF ALL.

MY DEAREST FRIEND LOST HIS HOPE AND TRUST BECAUSE OF MY

STUMBLINGS.

ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH.

I COULD SEE IT WAS UP TO ME TO VINDICATE MYSELF, SO IN ORDER TO

DO THIS, I NEEDED TO REMOVE THE CHAIR THAT SEPARATED OUR BELOVED

FRIENDSHIP.

>> Ed: AAH!

AAAH!

UNCLE! UNCLE!

>> Edd: CAN'T THEY SEE?

HOW AM I TO BLAME?

IT'S SO OBVIOUS.

IS IT ME?

BUT I'M A PACIFIST!

>> Jimmy: YOU'VE BEEN MARKED WITH A SCARLET LETTER, DOUBLE D.

ALL YOU NEED IS SOMEONE TO STRIP IT FROM YOU AND VALIDATE THAT

SWEET AND GENTLE YOU.

FOLLOW ME, SILLY.

>> Edd: WAIT, JIMMY.

[ CANS RATTLE ] >> Kevin: WEAK.

>> Jimmy: YOU THINK YOU'RE SO TOUGH?

I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BATTLE ROYALE.

ARE YOU AWARE OF THE MARQUIS OF QUEENSBERRY RULES?

>> Edd: EXPLICITLY...

I THINK.

I WILL MAKE YOU CONSUME YOUR FOOLHARDY WORDS.

WE SHALL MEET AT...AT...OH, DEAR.

>> Jimmy: THE PIT!

>> Edd: THE -- YES, THE PIT.

3:00 P.M. YES.

>> Kevin: NO WAY!

>> Jimmy: END SCENE.

>> Kevin: DOUBLE D AND JIMMY ARE DUKING IT OUT AT THE PIT, MAN.

PASS IT ON.

>> Nazz: OH, NO, POOR JIMMY'S A GONER.

>> Ed: SO, LITTLE DOUBLE G, SEEING AS MY OLD PAL DOUBLE D IS

NOW A NASTY McDUSTER KNUCKLES, YOU ARE GOING TO BE MY NEW

FRIEND.

WHAT WOULD LIKE TO DO TODAY?

I, DOUBLE G, AM GENTLE, UNLIKE THAT EVIL DOUBLE D YOU SPEAK OF.

SHALL WE TALK ABOUT FOSSILS AND DISH SOAP?

[ GASPS ] DOUBLE D USED TO TALK ABOUT DISH

SOAP ALL THE TIME.

[ SOBBING ] [ ROLF AND JONNY PANTING ]

>> Eddy: MOVE IT, SLOW COACHES, OR I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'RE NEXT IN

THE PIT.

>> Jonny: YES, SIR, MR. EDDY, SIR.

>> Ed: WHOA!

>> Eddy: OUT OF THE WAY.

MAKE ROOM.

BEST FRIEND OF THE SCHOOL BRUISER COMING THROUGH.

SO MOVE, IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU.

>> Sarah: JIMMY, ARE YOU CRAZY?

HE'S GONNA TURN YOU INTO COLD CUTS.

>> Jimmy: SOMETIMES, A MAN'S GOT TO DO WHAT A MAN'S GOT TO DO,

SARAH.

>> Eddy: SPARE THE CLICHéS, TWERP.

DOUBLE D's GONNA MOP THE FLOOR WITH THAT CURLY HEAD OF YOURS.

>> Edd: YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO YIELD TO YOUR INEVITABLE FATE OF

LOSING TO ME, JIMMY.

MAKE HASTE BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND.

>> Ed: AAH!

>> Rolf: JIMMY BOY IS DONE FOR.

>> Jimmy: I'VE GOT YOUR KNUCKLE SANDWICH WITH A SIDE OF BLACK

EYE RIGHT HERE.

>> Sarah: POOR JIMMY.

>> Jonny: GIVE HIM THE OLD ONE, TWO, JIMMY.

>> Ed: THIS ISN'T HAPPENING.

>> Eddy: THAT'S MY BOY.

STAY ON HIM, SOCKHEAD!

>> Jonny: RUN, JIMMY! RUN!

>> Kevin: QUIT PRANCING AROUND AND POUND HIM, JIMMY.

>> Eddy: WHAT'S THE MATTER, JIMMY, YOUR CURL GOING LIMP ON

YOU?

>> Jimmy: PARDON?

>> Eddy: WHOOPS!

AH HA HA HA!

THAT MUSTARD LOOKS GOOD ON YOU.

IT'S YELLOW, GET IT?

LIKE YOU.

HA HA HA!

I GOT A MILLION OF THEM.

>> Crowd: [ Chanting ] JIMMY!

>> Jimmy: OKAY, READY?

>> Eddy: AH HA HA HA!

MY BAD.

AH HA HA HA HA!

>> Jimmy: STOP IT!

HOW CAN I CONCENTRATE WITH YOU?

>> Nazz: HEY, THAT'S NOT FAIR.

UH, NEVER MIND.

>> Eddy: BOMB'S AWAY!

>> Jonny: I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE'S GETTING ALL THOSE HOT DOGS

FROM, PLANK.

>> Eddy: OH, LOOK OUT, EVERYBODY.

JIMMY LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA BLOW UP.

OH, WAIT, HE ALREADY DID WHEN WE TURNED HIM INTO A SUMO WRESTLER.

REMEMBER?

AH HA HA HA!

>> Jimmy: I HOPE YOU'RE WEARING A CUP, 'CAUSE YOU'RE CRèME

BRûLéE, MISTER.

>> Eddy: YEAH, RIGHT.

>> Edd: NO, NO, NO.

HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN OUR MISSION HERE?

>> Jimmy: LET ME GO!

>> Kevin: DOUBLE DWEEB'S GONNA PANTS HIM.

>> Edd: STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

>> Eddy: WAY TO GO, SOCKHEAD!

[ LAUGHING ] >> Sarah: JIMMY, ARE YOU OKAY?

>> Jimmy: AAAAAAAH!

[ CHEERING ] >> Eddy: DO SOMETHING, DOUBLE D.

YOU'RE THE TOUGH GUY.

>> Jimmy: WHAT HAPPENED?

>> Rolf: HOORAY!

NOW THE HEATHEN SOCK TYRANT HAS CEASED!

[ CHEERING ] >> Sarah: WAY TO GO, JIMMY.

>> Together: [ Chanting ] JIMMY, JIMMY, HE'S OUR BOY.

HE'LL SEND YOU TO THE TRASH LIKE A BROKEN TOY.

>> Kevin: NICE JACKET.

DORKS.

>> Eddy: WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?

SO MUCH FOR BEING THE TOUGHEST KID IN SCHOOL.

ALL THAT RESPECT.

ALL THAT REPUTATION, THAT SWEET NAUGAHYDE JACKET, GONE!

YOU OWE ME A JACKET.

>> Edd: I GUESS I'M NOT AS BOORISH A BRUTE AS YOU'D HOPED

FOR, EDDY.

>> Eddy: BAH!

>> Ed: DOUBLE D?

IS IT REALLY YOU?

>> Edd: OH, ED.

>> Ed: DOUBLE D!

>> Eddy: YEAH, DOUBLE D.

>> Together: EDDY.

>> May: AW, WE MISSED THEIR SCRAP, MARIE.

>> Marie: YEAH, BUT WE GOT HERE JUST IN TIME TO KISS THE LOSER

BETTER.

>> Edd: A LITTLE LATE FOR AN ENTRANCE, ISN'T IT?

>> Lee: DOUBLE D...

YOU SHOULD SEE THE SHINER YOU LEFT ON MY FOOT.

CLUMSY OAFS ARE SO CUTE.

>> May: THEY SURE ARE.

>> Marie: PUCKER UP, SWEETIE.

>> Edd: NO, PLEASE.

>> Eddy: HEY!

HE'S HAD ENOUGH ALREADY!

BEAT IT!

>> Ed: GOOD ONE, EDDY.

>> Eddy: VULTURES.

>> Edd: GOODNESS, I'M TOUCHED, EDDY.

YOU STANDING UP TO A CLICHé SHOW ENDING FOR ME.

LET ME TELL YOU, AFTER THE KIND OF DAY I'VE HAD, A DOSE OF

CAMARADERIE REALLY -- >> Eddy: YEAH, YEAH.

EAT AND SHUT UP.

>> Ed: AND FOR YOUR ED, EDDY?

>> Edd: EDDY, I THOUGHT THAT WAS MY HOT DOG.

THANK YOU, EDDY.

>> Eddy: THERE, IS EVERYBODY HAPPY?

GOOD.

JEEZ.