Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

Eddy: ED! QUIT HOGGING THEM, ED.

Ed: SAY, "PRETTY PLEASE," EDDY.

IN YOUR DREAMS.

SAY, "PRETTY PLEASE WITH TWO EGGS AND A SLICE OF BACON."

GIVE ME THE CHIPS.

DO YOU MIND? I'M TRYING TO READ.

WAIT FOR THE MOVIE, DOUBLE D.

COME ON, ED. I'M STARVING.

OH, LOOK AT THIS NOW.

DRIED POTATOES THAT MAY CONTAIN DEXTROSE, SALT,

AND SATURATED FATS ALL OVER MY SLEEPING BAG.

DOUBLE D MADE A MESS IN HIS SLEEPING BAG, ED.

HA HA HA.

HEY, LET'S MAKE A PIE AND HIT ME WITH IT.

Eddy: DOCTOR, I THINK WE NEED TO OPERATE.

OH, I CONCUR, DR. EDDY.

Eddy: HOLD STILL, LUMPY.

BOINK.

BOINK.

I FEEL IT, EDDY. LIKE VOODOO.

BOINK.

[LAUGHING]

MAY I TRY?

SURE, WHY NOT?

DID YOU KNOW SHADOW PUPPETRY

IS ONE OF THE OLDEST FORMS OF ENTERTAINMENT?

LIKE WALNUTS?

OH, CAN YOU GUESS WHAT IT IS?

Eddy: HMM. GEE, ED, IS IT A HAND?

OH! OH! OH, WAIT.

UM...

I THINK IT'S BROKEN, GUYS.

WHAT A LUMP.

WELL, AT LEAST HE'S CONSISTENT.

[LAUGHING]

Jimmy: HELLO, EXCUSE ME.

DO YOU MIND TONING IT DOWN OUT THERE?

SHH. WE'RE DISTURBING OUR NEIGHBORS, EDDY.

OH, ARE WE?

[HONKING ARMPIT]

HA HA HA.

EEW.

Edd: EDDY, PLEASE!

SAVAGES.

EDDY, SHH.

[HONKING]

[SNORING]

HUH?

WAKE UP! WE SLEPT IN.

SLEPT IN!

OH DEAR, I'VE NEVER SLEPT IN.

I'VE BLEMISHED MY PERSONAL RESUME.

ED, COME ON. WAKE UP.

WE GOT TO GET TO THE CREEK

OR WE'LL LOSE OUR SPOT AT THE SWIMMING HOLE.

[HORSE NEIGHS]

Ed: OH, NO, SPOT IS LOST.

SAY IT AIN'T SO, EDDY.

ED, THIS WAY.

HURRY UP, SOCKHEAD.

BUT I HAVEN'T BRUSHED MY TEETH OR HAD MY CRUMPET--

HERE, SPOT. COME ON, BOY.

Edd: ED, YOU'RE NOT LISTENING.

THE SPOT BY THE CREEK.

Ed: SPOT BY THE CREEK, EDDY.

TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW, ED.

HI, EDDY.

HI, DOUBLE D.

HELLO, ED.

I SEE IT. I SEE IT. AND IT'S ALL OURS!

OH, BABY!

DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE, PAL.

HA HA HA.

THAT'S OUR SPOT.

I DON'T SEE YOUR NAME ON IT, DORK.

I GOT HIM, DOUBLE D.

I GOT HIM.

THE SWIMMING AREA'S LARGE ENOUGH

TO ACCOMMODATE US ALL, EDDY.

LET ME FIND YOU A BETTER SPOT.

KEVIN STOLE THE BETTER SPOT.

I GOT HIM, DOUBLE D.

I GOT HIM.

HA HA HA.

Eddy: ED!

HEY, JIMMY, LOOK, IT'S PRETTY.

CAREFUL! WHAT?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

BA-DA-BOOM! HA HA HA.

DO NOT ASK ROLF TO STOP.

HA HA HA.

NICE SPOT, DOUBLE D.

IS THERE SOMETHING ON MY BACK?

THIS IS--OH-- SO BAD, EDDY.

LET'S STAY ALL DAY.

Ed: OINK OINK OINK.

OINK OINK OINK.

HA HA. I AM A LIZARD.

OINK OINK OINK.

WELL, ED'S LACK OF SLEEP IS EVIDENT.

THIS SPOT STINKS.

THERE'S ROCKS,

AND GARBAGE,

AND BUGS EVERYWHERE.

NOT TO MENTION THE LACK OF SHADE.

BOY, IS IT HOT.

COME ON, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

OH, DEAR, IT CAN'T BE.

I FORGOT MY SUNSCREEN!

I'M SO VULNERABLE.

I CAN FEEL MY FLESH TIGHTEN,

THE STINGING OF THE ULTRAVIOLET RAYS.

EDDY, KEVIN STOLE OUR SPOT.

MAN, IT'S LIKE A MERRY-GO-ROUND.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID 20 PAGES AGO.

Edd: BUT, EDDY, LOOK AT HIM.

HE LOOKS SO COMFORTABLE.

Ed: LET'S PUT A STAMP ON HIS HEAD

AND MAIL HIM TO HOLLYWOOD.

TOO INHUMANE, EDDY.

IN CHESS, IN ORDER TO POSITION ONESELF,

ONE MUST FIRST GO THROUGH THE PAWN.

IT JUST NEEDS A RIBBON, JIMMY,

AND IT WILL BE PERFECT.

UNICORNS ARE MY SPECIALTY.

Ed: HA HA HA. LOOK AT ME.

GIDDY-UP, MUTANT HORSE.

NO, ED! UNICORNS ARE SENSITIVE.

PSHAW!

Jimmy: AAH! MY TUMMY!

I FEEL QUEASY.

Sarah: ED! PUT HIM DOWN.

HI, JIMMY. WANT TO PLAY A GAME?

EDDY?

IT'S BONEHEAD TIME.

EVER PLAY "SPLISH SPLASH IN A BATH"?

I HAVE.

Y-YOU HAVE?

SPLISH SPLASH. TAKE A BATH.

ED, WHOA!

BRAVO, ED BOY. A FINE TOSS.

I DID A 4-SPLASHER.

A NEW SPLISH SPLASH RECORD.

LOOK OUT. I CAN BEAT YOUR STUPID RECORD.

OW! EE!

OW, HOT.

OW, CALLUSES.

EXCUSE ME, JIMMY,

YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY MORE SUNSCREEN, WOULD YOU?

Ed: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR GUYS?

LOOKS LIKE THE TWERPS ABANDONED THEIR SPOT.

WE'RE ONE SMALL STEP TO ONE GIANT LEAP

FROM KICKING KEV OUT OF OUR SPOT.

Kevin: HUH, GOOD LOOK, BEACH BLANKET DORKO.

HA HA HA.

YOU GOING TO FINISH THAT?

GIMME BACK MY SPOT, KEVIN.

Sarah: HEY!

GET OUT OF OUR SPOT.

YOU AND WHOSE ARMY?

YOU'D THINK YOU WOULD HAVE LEARNED BY NOW, EDDY.

AAH!

OOH, THAT WENT NICELY.

Ed: DOUBLE D,

CHECK IT OUT.

OH, OUR SPOT'S EMPTY.

QUICK, LET'S GRAB IT BEFORE...

I GET BACK.

HA HA.

EXCUSE ME, EDDY, BUT I NEED TO REVISIT THE SUN ISSUE.

Eddy: YOU'RE LIKE A BROKEN RECORD, DOUBLE D, GEEZ.

OUR BEING SURROUNDED BY WATER

SEEMS TO BE MAGNIFYING THOSE ULTRAVIOLET RAYS I TOLD YOU ABOUT EARLIER.

MY SKIN'S BECOMING QUITE SENSITIVE, EDDY.

YAP YAP YAP.

LOOK, IT'S AN ECLIPSE OF THE SUN.

Ed: THAT'S JOHNNY'S HEAD, DOUBLE D.

Eddy: WHAT'S HE DOING UP THERE?

HEY, CHECK IT OUT.

IF WE HAD JOHNNY'S SPOT,

WE COULD KEEP AN EYE ON MY SPOT.

AT THAT ELEVATION, IT MUST HAVE A COOLING CROSS BREEZE,

PERHAPS EVEN SHADE.

IT'S A CINCH.

WE JUST NEED TO GET RID OF JOHNNY.

HA HA HA.

[BUBBLING]

Eddy: LET'S SEE,

WHAT DO WE USE TO GET MELONHEAD OFF HIS PERCH?

EXPLOSIVES?

NAH.

GIANT SLINGSHOT?

NOPE.

A TRAPEZE?

DOUBLE D, THAT'S IT!

WE'LL USE A TRAPEZE.

HE'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT HIT HIM.

[GASPS]

WE'LL LOWER SOME ROPE,

AND, ED, YOU CAN WEAR THE TIGHTS.

Edd:AAH!

A BARMITZVAH.

SO ANYWAYS, YOU JUST SWING OVER--

A TRAPEZE? PLEASE.

HERE'S AN IDEA, EDDY.

NEXT TIME, LET'S JUST SIT IN AN OVEN.

WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING USEFUL?

LIKE HURRY UP!

PASS ME THE TRAPEZE, ED.

WHAT?

WHAT'S SOCKHEAD DOING?

[TWEET]

I'M READY, COACH.

DID I MAKE THE TEAM, PLANK?

DOUBLE D!

THAT WAS PURE GENIUS.

CAN WE MOVE ON?

THIS HEAT IS UNBEARABLE.

Ed: THE SOUND OF A BABBLING BROOK

MAKES ME WANT TO BABBLE, DOUBLE D.

WAS THAT JOHNNY'S SUNSCREEN?

OH, THIS IS PERFECT.

ONCE KEVIN MOVES, WE'LL JUST SWOOP IN,

WE'LL BE KINGS OF THE SWIMMING HOLE.

MY KINGDOM FOR SUNSCREEN.

ED, YOU BE LOOKOUT.

ONE, TWO, BUCKLE MY SHOE.

MESS WITH ME, WILL HE?

HA.

[YAWN]

SEE YA, KEVIN.

KEVIN LEAVE?

WOOHOO!

TOOK HIM LONG ENOUGH, SLUG.

Edd: ASSISTANCE, PLEASE.

ASSISTANCE.

WHAT'S WITH YOU?

MOTHER NATURE IS SO UNFORGIVING.

COME ON, DOUBLE D.

OUCH!

DON'T TOUCH ME!

OW, MY FACE!

EVERY NERVE ENDING IN THE PRIMARY LAYERS OF MY SKIN ARE SCREAMING,

"DOUBLE D, YOU NINCOMPOOP!

YOU FORGOT THE SUNSCREEN."

[SKIN CRINKLES]

OUCH!

YOU LOOK A LITTLE SUNBURNED, DOUBLE D.

DON'T TOY WITH ME, EDDY.

I'LL BE SHEDDING FOR WEEKS.

WELCOME TO THE GREAT OUTDOORS, NATURE BOY.

WHAT A WHINER.

[GASPS]

HMM.

Ed: I AM A LIZARD.

I HAVE CHANGED COLORS.

I HAVE BECOME CHAMELEON MAN.

OINK.

STAY BACK.

OUCH.

OINK.

OUCH.

EDDY, MAKE HIM STOP!

CUT IT OUT.

OINK.

OW!

YOU CAN BE MY SIDEKICK, ROCK MOUNT KID.

AND--AND DOUBLE D IS OUR BUTLER.

UH, DOUBLE D.

OINK.

OW! OW!

OINK.

YOW!

OINK.

OW. OW!

HA HA HA.

OINK OINK.

OINK OINK.

Eddy: GRUESOME, TASTELESS, HIDEOUS, AND REPULSIVE.

PURE GENIUS.

Edd: HOW YOU EVER TALKED ME INTO THIS IS BEYOND ME.

WE'RE IN A SEWER, EDDY.

AN INCUBATOR FOR EVERY PARASITE KNOWN TO HUMANS.

IT WRITES ITSELF, DOUBLE D.

WE'RE GONNA BE RICH.

FILTHY RICH, I TELL YOU.

LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU.

THAT'S THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK, DOUBLE D.

SEESH, GET REAL.

WHOA!

LET ME GO. LET ME GO.

DON'T FIGHT IT, EDDY. TRY TO--

BLECH!

ED, STOP!

SAVE IT FOR THE CUSTOMERS.

Ed: HA HA HA.

I AM AN EDIPUS...

CAUSE I'M ED.

YOU'RE GOING TO BE ED-I-DEAD AFTER I GET--

[VOICES FROM ABOVE] SWAMP RIDE?

OH, BROTHER.

CUSTOMERS.

WHO WANTS TO RIDE A SWAMP?

Nazz: I THINK I'LL PASS.

WHY CAN'T THE EDS THINK OF SOMETHING NICE TO RIDE,

LIKE A DOLPHIN?

BOYS WILL BE BOYS.

SARAH? HUH?

GYM TEACHER!

I AM EDIPUS CAUSE I AM--

HANG ON. HE HASN'T PAID YET, NUMBSKULL.

WELCOME TO ED'S SWAMP RIDE.

THAT WILL BE 25 CENTS.

SARAH!

Sarah: JIMMY.

WHAT HAPPENED?

Jimmy: I FELL ON MY TUSHIE, SARAH.

DON'T MOVE!

I'LL SAVE YOU.

Jimmy: HELP! HELP!

EEW, JIMMY. YOU STINK.

THAT'S PUTTING IT MILDLY.

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU LET THE GUY HAVE SOME FUN, HUH?

YOU'RE IN A SEWER, IDIOT.

IT'S DIRTY AND STINKY.

IT'S CALLED AMBIENCE.

IT'S A SWAMP RIDE, GET IT?

WHAT DO YOU GIRLS KNOW ABOUT--

NO SKIN OFF MY NOSE.

SARAH!

I'M SURE KEVIN, ROLF, EVEN JOHNNY, WILL--

Sarah: THEY WENT GO-KARTING.

GO-KARTING?

AND THEY WON'T BE BACK TILL SUPPER.

BYE-BYE.

AAH!

Ed: I THINK SARAH LIKES YOU, EDDY.

Eddy: GREAT, WE'RE STUCK HERE WITH TWO GIRLS AND A JIMMY.

THIS CALLS FOR A CHANGE OF PLANS, DOUBLE D.

WE NEED TO FIND OUR MORE SENSITIVE SIDES.

I FOUND MY SENSITIVE SIDE 'CAUSE IT HAS A RASH.

THANK YOU FOR SHARING THAT WITH US, ED.

NOW, WHAT DO GIRLS LIKE? HMM.

SARAH LIKES TO WATCH ME EAT YOGURT FROM MY BELLY BUTTON.

HA HA HA.

AHEM. BEFORE ED FILLS MY HEAD WITH ANY MORE DISTURBING IMAGES,

I SUGGEST A STUDY--

AND OBSERVATION OF GIRLS IN THEIR HABITAT.

STUDY? I FOLLOW MY GUTS, DOUBLE D.

I SMELL WAFFLES, GUYS.

Eddy: SHUT UP, ED.

HA HA HA.

WON'T I STICK TO IT

AND CHAFE MY THIGHS AGAIN, SARAH?

DON'T BE SILLY, SILLY.

ON YOUR MARK, GET SET--

WHEE.

Sarah: LAST ONE TO THE SWINGS IS AN ED!

[JIMMY GIGGLES]

CHECK THIS OUT, SARAH.

WOOHOO! YEAH!

HA HA.

AWESOME.

WHEE.

GEE, NAZZ, THAT WAS RAD.

DID IT HURT?

NOT WHEN YOU LAND SOFTLY, SARAH.

CAN I TRY?

UH, IT'S SORT OF DANGEROUS.

START SLOW. TRY THE SPINNING WHEEL.

OK, GIRLFRIEND.

DAH! SHE PRACTICALLY BROKE MY BACK.

WHEE!

Eddy: OH, OH!

DISCOVERY! DISCOVERY!

WHAT IS IT?

DON'T YOU JUST WANT TO PINCH HIS CHEEKS?

GET DOWN, GET DOWN.

JIMMY?

Jimmy: JUMPING JACKRABBITS.

LOOK AT THOSE STUBBORN GRASS STAINS.

BETTER USE SOME CLUB SODA ON THOSE CLOTHES.

IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GET THEM CLEAN.

HURRY AND MEET ME IN THE DAISIES, SARAH.

WHEE! THE FRAGRANCE OF FLOWERS IS SO SWEET.

HELLO, ARE YOU NEW IN TOWN?

MAY I SMELL YOU?

WHY, THANK YOU.

[HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM]

YUCK. YOU SMELL LIKE CHEAP SHAMPOO.

I'M TEARING.

GENTLEMEN, AND I USE THAT TERM LIGHTLY,

I THINK I'VE COMPILED ENOUGH DATA FOR US TO PROCEED.

ACCORDING TO MY OBSERVATIONS,

GIRLS ARE PRONE TO:

ONE, SOFT, AS IN NAZZ;

TWO, CLEAN, REFERENCE SARAH;

AND 3, FRESH FRAGRANCE, A LA JIMMY.

THAT'S STUPID. WE'RE RIGHT BACK WHERE WE STARTED.

BINGO!

IT'S THE PANTS.

PANTS, EDDY?

CHICKS DIG PANTS.

NAZZ WEARS PANTS, SARAH WEARS PANTS--

YOU WEAR PANTS.

I WEAR PANTS.

[Edd LAUGHS] PAY ATTENTION, EDDY.

SOFT, CLEAN, AND FRESH IT IS.

I HATE IT WHEN HE DOES THAT.

HA HA HA.

HURRY, JIMMY.

WHEN ARE WE GOING TO PUSH BACK OUR CUTICLES, SARAH?

HEY, HOLD UP.

FOR THE FIRST TIME, SPECIALLY DESIGNED FOR YOU TENDER TYPES,

AND PRICED TO LIKE, OUR "SNUGGLE-ME ED."

HE'S SOFT, CLEAN, AND FRESH.

SO WHAT?

IS THAT DRYER LINT ALL OVER HIM?

DOUBLE D, WOULD YOU PAY 25 CENTS TO HUG ED?

BUG?

GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!

AAH!

OH NO, OW.

I DON'T THINK SHE WENT FOR IT.

OH, ED, YOU'RE GONNA GET IT.

I'M TELLING ON--

OH, NO, MY EARRING.

Sarah: I LOST MY EARRING.

I FEEL SO GUILTY.

Sarah: WAAH! I LOVED MY EARRING.

SARAH, LOOK. I'M TRENDY.

FASHION CAN BE SO PAINFUL.

MY EARRING.

GIMME IT.

THANK YOU, JIMMY.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

DID YOU SEE THAT?

ALL THOSE EMOTIONS OVER STUPID JEWELRY.

DOUBLE D, IT'S A GOLD MINE.

[GIRLS LAUGHING]

Eddy: GO ON.

RETREAT.

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? THEY'RE JUST GIRLS.

HEY, HEY, HEY! GET LOST.

NO GUYS ALLOWED.

IF YOU WEREN'T ED'S SISTER, I'D--

WHAT EDDY'S TRYING TO SAY IS,

WE'RE HAVING A JEWELRY SALE AND--

JEWELRY?

A SALE!

BAUBLES AND BANGLES!

Ed: IMPORTED BY AN ARMORED TRUCK

FROM THE HOUSE OF EUROPEAN WIENERS...

BEHOLD!

Ed: BEHOLD!

All: WOW!

Nazz: LOOK AT ALL THAT GOLD.

Sarah: THEY'RE SO SHINY.

Jimmy: LEMME SEE, LEMME SEE.

Nazz: EDDY?

I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT

ONLY STILL THE SAME, SO IT MATCHES,

WITHOUT IT BEING TOO SIMILAR.

WE'LL JUST CHECK OUR VAULT.

OFFICER ED.

WHOA!

A SPATULA.

OH, HO HO.

JEWELRY FOR NAZZ.

HMM, THIS LOOKS INTERESTING.

YES, WELL, YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE AN EYE FOR CREATIVITY.

HA HA HA.

THANKS, ED.

SHE WENT FOR IT, EDDY.

HMM.

IT'S GAUDY.

GAUDY NOTHING.

YOU MUST HAVE SUFFERED A BRAIN LAG,

AS THIS IS ONE OF OUR MORE POPULAR...

NECK DOOHICKEY THINGS.

CAN I TRY IT ON?

WHY, CERTAINLY, MISS. ALLOW ME.

HOW DO I LOOK?

LIKE A MILLION BUCKS.

WILL THAT BE CASH... OR CASH?

I DON'T LIKE IT!

THEY HATE OUR MERCHANDISE, EDDY.

GIVE 'EM WHAT THEY WANT.

CAN OPENERS.

MY MOM LOVES CAN OPENERS.

ARE MOMS GIRLS?

NOT SURE.

WELL, TECHNICALLY...

BEATS ME.

HA HA HA.

BOY, THAT'S PRETTY.

OOPS.

THIS AIN'T A LIBRARY. BUY OR GET LOST.

Ed: EDDY!

PARDON US FOR A MOMENT.

GUYS, I SPILLED PAINT ALL OVER MY GOOD PANTS.

Eddy: OH, GREAT, WE'RE WHOOKED.

AWESOME PANTS!

ARE THEY FOR SALE?

UH...

I MUST HAVE THEM.

GIVE ME THEM. THEY'RE MINE.

I SAW THEM FIRST.

GET READY TO RETIRE, DOUBLE D.

HA HA. CASHIER'S THIS WAY, LADIES.

[WHINES]

HEY,

AW, COME ON, EDDY.

DO YOU HAVE A LAYAWAY PLAN?

FEAST YOUR EYES ON THESE GOLDEN PANTALOONS.

ANY OFFERS?

EDDY, IT WOULD BE SO SWEET TO GET THOSE AS A GIFT.

[STAMMERING]

YES, MADAM.

TRY SYLLABLES AND SENTENCES, EDDY.

DOUBLE D, YOU CAN GET ME THOSE PANTS, CAN'T YOU?

[STAMMERING]

EDDY.

DOUBLE D.

Jimmy: $5.00!

FOR THE GOLDEN PANTS.

SOLD!

PHEW!

PINCH ME, I'M DREAMING.

WHEE! I FEEL JUST LIKE ELVIS PRESLEY.

JEALOUS?

OH, NO.

WHEN WILL THE TORMENT END?

THAT WASN'T GOLD, FAKERS.

YOU GYPPED US!

EXPOSED.

BUSTED.

NOPE, CAN'T THINK OF A WORD.

Jimmy: THE SHAME.

HERE'S YOUR MONEY, JIMMY.

GROW UP.

WAIT TILL YOU GET HOME, ED.

CHARLATANS.

SPENDING AN EXTENDED TIME IN FEMALE COMPANY

CAN BE MENTALLY DISORIENTATING AND PHYSICALLY CONFUSING.

WHAT'S UP WITH YOU?

ED'S TROUSER-LESS STATE

SEEMS TO HAVE JARRED AN INTELLECTUAL MOMENT

WITHIN THE CONFINES OF HIS BRAIN.

ED, IS THAT YOU?

HUG ME!

WELL, THAT DIDN'T LAST LONG.

HUG!

ED!

DOUBLE D, MY FRIEND.

PLEASE, ED.

ED, NO, WAIT.

EDDY!

HA HA HA.

HUG, GUYS!

Edd: ED, YOU'RE IN YOUR UNDERWEAR.

OK, I FEEL LOVED NOW.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--