Original subtitles

SARAH! OH! OOH! EEK! HELP!

WHAT ROTTEN LUCK.

HMM? PLEASE, TELL ROLF HIS EYES DO NOT LIE.

HELLO? WHAT?

WHOA! HEY! OH!

IT IS THE CURSE OF THE SIRENS IN THE HUNGRY TREE!

WHERE'S THE CASH?

STRANGE, MY ELECTROMAGNET SEEMS TO BE ADVERSE TO CERTAIN METAL ALLOYS.

LET'S GET FUNKY!

THEY'LL HEAR US!

EDD, PLEASE, NOT NOW!

THE SIRENS CALL UPON US!

WE MUST DO THE BELLY BUMP, AS IT IS THE ONLY WAY TO PLEASE THE TREE!

I AM ROLF, SON OF A SHEPHERD.

HA HA! I CAN TIE MY SHOES, EDDY!

LOOKS LIKE THE KNOT IN YOUR HEAD!

AAH!

ED BOYS?

Kevin: LET'S POUND THEM, ROLF!

ROLF IS NOT AMUSED, YOU-- HOW YOU SAY? DUCKS?

DORKS!

YES, THAT IS WHAT I SAID.

NO, YOU SAID--

DUCKS! SEE, DUCKS!

UH, HA HA! ROLF, KEVIN.

HATE TO INTERRUPT, SO...

GET BACK HERE!

QUICK! SCATTER!

Kevin: A KNUCKLE SANDWICH, EH, ROLF?

NO, THANK YOU. I AM NOT HUNGRY.

OH, DEAR! I DEPLORE PHYSICAL ALTERCATIONS! HIDE, I MUST--

SHH! SHH!

Rolf: I THINK I SAW THE DUCKS RUN HERE!

DORKS, ROLF, DORKS.

DORKS DO NOT QUACK, KEVIN.

WHATEVER. LET'S FIND THEM.

SUCKERS!

HEY, ED! ED! COME ON OUT, IT'S ALL CLEAR!

HI, EDDY!

NICE HAT, ED.

I'M FANCY! LOOK AT ME.

OK, A-ONE, AND A-TWO, AND-A...

TOUCH YOUR TOE TO YOUR NOSE!

LIKE THIS?

Eddy: GOOD ONE, ED! OK, NOW HOP FORWARD!

THAT'S IT! KEEP GOING! YOU GOTTA LOVE HIM.

ED COULD BE ON TV, DON'T YOU THINK, EDDY?

IT'S ALL IN THE DIRECTING, DOUBLE-D.

EDDY IS MR. SHOWBIZ.

I'LL GIVE YOU MISTER-- SHOWBIZ?!

BIG CASH IN SHOWBIZ.

THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE IT.

LIGHTS, CAMERA, BINGO.

COME ON, MR. BIG SHOUT!

[LAUGHTER]

LOOK, GUYS!

RUN AWAY! RUN! LOOK OUT!

HERE WE ARE ON LOCATION WITH RENAISSANCE MAN MR. EDDY!

MR. EDDY, HOW ABOUT A SCOOP?

LET ME TELL YOU. I'LL BE HOSTING AND DIRECTING THE CUL-DE-SAC'S FIRST EVER--

UH...HEY, JOHNNY, USE IT OR LOSE IT.

FIRST EVER TV SHOW!

IT'LL HAVE GLITZ, TINSEL, AND TV CAMERAS!

GLITZ? TINSEL? TV CAMERAS?

MAKEUP.

I'M ON TV!

HI, MOM!

SMILE, PLANK!

HELLO, VICTOR!

SEE ME, TELEVISION LAND?

HEY, I'M UP HERE, YOU--

HI, I'M NAZZ.

CUT! SAVE THE FILM FOR THE BIG STARS, ED.

CARE TO NAME-DROP, MR. EDDY?

CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT. LEGAL STUFF.

BUT I'LL BE HOLDING AUDITIONS FOR LOCAL TALENT.

NOW, THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT!

LET'S REHEARSE, PLANK!

WE'LL BE FAMOUS!

[CHEERING AND YELLING]

HERE'S MY AUDITION.

HA HA HA! LOSERS!

PRIMA DONNA. AFTER OUR SHOW,

WE'LL BE ROLLING IN JAWBREAKERS!

ROLLING, MR. EDDY! HA HA HA!

Edd: AUDITIONING, JOHNNY 2X4 AND PLANK.

ANYTIME YOU'RE READY, KID.

PLANK TELLS JOKES. KNOCK THEM DEAD, BUDDY!

[LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]

OH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE! YOU'RE KILLING ME!

HA HA HA!

NEXT!

COME ON, WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.

HI, GUYS! I'M HERE TO AUDITION.

OH, UH, BRAVO.

THAT WAS FUN!

SIGN HER UP, DOUBLE-D!

SIGN HER UP? NAZZ SINGLE-HANDEDLY

ANNIHILATED ALL THAT IS MUSIC!

YEAH.

Rolf: HELLO?

I WILL BE PERFORMING MY COUNTRY'S

TRADITIONAL DANCE OF THE HAIRLESS OTTER.

Eddy: NEXT!

THERE'S NO BUDGET FOR SUBTITLES.

Sarah: READY!

WHO INVITED THEM? OK, COME ON, COME ON. TIME IS MONEY.

I'VE GOT CORN STUCK IN MY TEETH.

COME ON,JIMMY! ♪ DEE-DEE-DEE-DEE-DEE

STOP THE MUSIC!

HUH?

SEE THE STAR ON THAT DOOR? THAT'S FOR STARS!

AND YOU'RE A STAR, BABY! LOSE THE AMATEUR, AND YOU'LL BE A HOUSEHOLD PRODUCT!

I WANT TO BE A STAR.

HEY!

AUDITIONS ARE CLOSED!

DEJA VU.

HELLO, AND WELCOME TO THE FIRST EVER ED TELETHON!

WE'VE GOT LOADS OF TALENT, AND OUR OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY

TO TAKE YOUR MONEY-- I MEAN, PLEDGES!

YES, IT'S ALL ABOUT RAISING MONEY FOR ED'S EYEBROW OPERATION.

AW, HERE WE GO.

FIND IT IN YOUR HEARTS TO GIVE AND HELP US REACH OUR GOAL.

HA HA!

WITHOUT YOUR PLEDGES, ED'S EYEBROW COULD SPREAD ALL OVER HIS BODY.

BODY, STUPID, BODY!

OH, YEAH! OH, NO, IT'S STARTED!

DID YOU SEE IT MOVE?

OH, NO! OH, HO HO!

OK, LET'S START THE SHOW!

IT'S ABOUT TIME.

PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR THAT TUBA DIVA NAZZ!

THANKS, GUYS!

GO, NAZZ, GO!

NAZZ IS GOOD.

[THUMP]

YOU OK, EDDY?

WE SHOULD JAM SOMETIME.

WHAT'S THE MATTER, DORK? CAN'T TALK TO GIRLS?

GRR! LET'S GO TO THE PHONES.

HMM? ED!

A PHONE CALL SHOULD COME UP ANYTIME.

LIKE MY LUNCH.

[LAUGHTER]

AND NOW, LADIES AND GERMS, MR. MAGIC HIMSELF,

THE GREAT JIMBO!

Sarah: YAY!

SNORESVILLE. AMAZE ME.

HURRY, JIMMY, PLEASE.

MY FEATHER, IT WON'T STAY UP! IT'S LIMP.

WHERE'S JIMMY?

A PLUME PREDICAMENT.

All: JIMMY! JIMMY! JIMMY! JIMMY!

Eddy: GET OUT THERE AND STALL THEM!

HEY, LOOK! JIMMY TURNED HIMSELF INTO A DORK!

[KIDS LAUGHING]

OH, DEAR. THERE GO THE LEGS.

THIS SHOW HEAVES!

A PLEDGE!

ED TELETHON!

EDDY, DO YOU KEEP DONATIONS IN THE FRIDGE?

Sarah: YAY, JIMMY!

FOR MY FIRST TRICK, I WILL MAKE A FLOWER MAGICALLY BLOOM FROM A POT OF SOIL.

SAY THE MAGIC WORDS BUBBLY-BUBBLY-BOO!

HUH?

OH, HE'S LAYING AN EGG!

UM, COULD I GET A VOLUNTEER, PLEASE?

ME, ME, ME! ME, ME, ME!

OK, SARAH--

PROVE TO ROLF YOUR POWERS ARE TRUE!

THAT-A-BOY, ROLF!

I WILL NOW SAW ROLF IN--

HA HA HA! MY GUT'S KILLING ME!

BUT I'M A STAR!

[KIDS LAUGHING]

Jimmy: AAH!

JIMMY?

COME ON, WHO'S ON DECK?

[RING]

ED TELETHON!

ARE DONATIONS BIGGER THAN A BREADBOX?

ARGH!

THIS TELETHON STINKS!

YEAH, I SMELL IT!

YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE A--

OOH! WELCOME TO THE DORK TELETHON!

I'M YOUR TWERP HOST EDDY!

WON'T YOU PLEASE HELP MY POOR, HAIRY FRIEND?

YEAH, PLEASE HELP ME, FOR MY EYEBROW IS GROWING LIKE A GARDEN WEED!

HA HA HA! HA HA HA!

LET US DO OUR OWN SHOW!

GOOD IDEA, ROLF.

BYE-BYE, ED BOYS!

WAIT UP, GUYS!

THEY STOLE OUR AUDIENCE, DOUBLE-D!

THE BIGGER YOU ARE, THE HARDER YOU FALL.

IS THIS A DONATION?

ED'S BIG.

A-OOH!

I'M THE HAIRLESS OTTER, AND I MUST EAT CHICKEN!

HEY, YOU BAG OF FLESH!

A-OOH! HA HA! HA HA!

LET'S DANCE! KER-POW!

OW! OH, MY OTTER HEART, IT HAS BEEN STRUCK!

AHA! YOU MISSED, RECONNAISSANCE KEVIN!

STUPID BROOM!

YEEHAH!

Kevin: AAH! I'M OTTER BAIT!

[CHEERING]

THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANK YOU!

THAT'S OUR MONEY THEY'RE THROWING!

CAN I GO OVER AND WATCH?

WHY BOTHER? THEY'LL BE COMING TO US.

Eddy: HEY, ROMEO AND JULIET!

WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?

FULL POWER, DOUBLE-D!

POWERING UP, EDDY!

IT FLOATS!

[SCREAMING]

DOUBLE-D?

SILLY ME. IT APPEARS I PUT THE BATTERIES IN BACKWARDS.

YOU SURE HAVEN'T BEEN ON THE BALL LATELY, HUH, DOUBLE-D?

Ed: KIND OF FUNKY, HUH, GUYS?

HOWDY! I'M KING TRITON,

AND WELCOME TO ED'S SEA ADVENTURE.

READY FOR ADVENTURE?

COME ON, JOHNNY!

BEHOLD!

AHOY, LANDLUBBER!

I'M BARNACLE ED.

FOR A LOUSY 25 CENTS,

JUMP ON MY BACK AND RIDE A BARNACLE.

WOO-HOO HOO! LET ME HAVE IT!

HA HA HA!

WOO-HOO!

BARNACLE!

Johnny: WHEE!

WHOA!

LOBSTER CLAWS ARE SO UNCOMFORTABLE.

HA HA HA!

WE'VE BEEN PICKLED, PLANK!

ONLY AT ED'S SEA ADVENTURE!

WOO-HOO!

Y'ALL COME BACK NOW. THAT'LL BE 25 CENTS.

[GASP]

ALL I HAVE IS COCONUTS.

HELP YOURSELVES.

THANKS, KING TRITON.

ME AND PLANK HAD A BLAST!

GRRR!

OH, JOHNNY BOY...

CAN I SHAVE THEM?

DEAR ED, YOU DON'T SHAVE COCONUTS. YOU EAT THEM.

LIKE REPORT CARDS?

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, ED?

YOU LOOK AS THOUGH YOU'RE IN PAIN.

OW! MY TOOTH HURTS!

FOR REAL.

YOU JUST WANT TO WEAR THIS BEARD, DON'T YOU?

I SUGGEST AN EXAMINATION OF THIS CULPRIT CUSPID.

AHHHH.

MM-HMM.

AAH!

YOU'RE LOSING YOUR LAST BABY TOOTH, ED.

WHY, THE TOOTH FAIRY WILL PAY--

PAY BIG BUCKS FOR THIS TOOTH!

AAH!

DON'T TOUCH IT.

LET GO, ED.

OW.

EDDY, PLEASE. YOU CAN'T TAMPER WITH ED'S NATURAL GROWTH PATTERNS.

M-MEOW.

[WHISTLE]

Eddy: OH, ED!

ED!

LOOK WHAT I'VE GOT.

A JAWBREAKER.

SEE? ALL FOR YOU.

UH...

Edd: EDDY.

YOU HAVE TO GET UP PRETTY EARLY IN THE MORNING

TO FOOL SOMEONE WITH THAT OLD TRICK.

Ed: JAWBREAKER!

YUM! YUM! YUM!

ED, NO! WAIT!

[HORSE NEIGHS]

OH.

OH.

I'VE BEEN VIOLATED.

OUCH. MY TOOTH'S SORE.

WHERE'D THE TOOTH GO?

DID IT ROLL UNDER HERE?

IT'S STILL IN YOUR MOUTH.

BUT BARELY.

COME ON, BABY. COME ON!

Edd: OH, THAT WAS BRILLIANT, EDDY.

I BET YOU WERE UP ALL NIGHT THINKING UP THAT PLAN.

THE ITINERARY OF DENTAL GROWTH IS CARVED IN STONE.

HEY, DOUBLE-D.

IS THAT AN ANTHILL?

WHY, YES, IT IS.

A FINE SPECIMEN, AT THAT.

NIMBLE, QUICK, SPRIGHTLY, AND SPRY.

[BELL RINGS]

OK, LET'S GO.

HANG ON.

SAY "WHIPLASH."

HI, MOM!

Edd: ED!

YOU NEED TO PROTECT THAT TOOTH.

I WAS JUST PLAYING WITH EDDY.

EDDY! YOU DROPPED YOUR GLOVE!

THIS IS TOUGHER THAN I THOUGHT.

♪ BOP AH DOO BOP BOP

I SMELL SOMETHIN', ROLF.

THAT'S THE SMELL OF MONEY, KEVIN.

NO, THAT IS MY MAMA BOILING THE FAT FROM PAPA'S UNDERSHIRTS.

I'M OFFERING A TOOTH REWARD.

Sarah: EDDY! HAVE YOU SEEN JIMMY?

Jimmy: IS THAT YOU, SARAH?

HELP! HELP!

I'LL HELP YA, JIMMY!

THERE'S A BRIGHT LIGHT, SARAH. SOMEONE'S CALLING ME.

OOH, COOKIES.

EDDY!

WHAT'S WITH THESE POSTERS, ANYWAY?

I'M TRADING THE TOOTH FAIRY.

ED'S TOOTH FOR CASH.

TOOTH FAIRY, SHMOOTH FAIRY. BIG DEAL.

DEAL?

OK.

HOW'S ABOUT 10% OF THE TAKE?

10% IS NOT VERY HUMID FOR A HOT DAY.

35.

50!

50?

THAT'S ALMOST HALF.

TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.

[GULP]

OK, OK. GET OFF MY BACK.

OH! TOOTH!

ED, YOU REALLY MUST TRY TO EAT SOFTER, UM, FOOD.

YES, LIKE BUTTER, ED BOY.

PLAIN BUTTER?

LISTEN TO ME, STUCK-IN-THE-RUT ED BOY.

WHEN CHURNED BY ROLF, IT IS BETTER THAN GOOD.

I'M SLEEPY.

OH, DEAR! ROLF, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

BEHOLD THE POWER OF CHURNING BUTTER!

WITH A PLUNGER?

OH HO!

THATABOY, ROLF!

ROLF'S SO CONFUSED.

COME ON, YOU!

DID YOU GET IT? WHERE'S THE TOOTH? TOOTH, TOOTH, TOOTH.

ROLF CANNOT HEAR ONE PEEP.

MY TOOTH HURTS.

AH.

ONESIES, TWOSIES, REDSIES, BLUESIES.

ED, ISN'T THAT UNCOMFORTABLE FOR YOUR TOOTH?

NO WAY, DOUBLE-D.

SARAH SAYS NOTHING SOOTHES PAIN LIKE A NYLON ROPE.

ANYTHING FOR YOU, GULLIBLE BIG BROTHER.

WHEE!

SOOTHING GONE! TOOTH HURTS!

HA HA HA!

OH. OH, BOY. IT PAINS ME TO SEE ED HURT LIKE THAT.

HELP HIM, EDDY, AS ONLY YOU CAN.

OW!

DOUBLE-D'S SO GULLIBLE. GIVE ME THE TOOTH, ED!

AH!

SARAH!

Sarah: AH!

WHAT'S IT, GLUED IN THERE?

EDDY, YOU IDIOT. FORGET THE DEAL!

COME ON, JIMMY.

YOUR IMPATIENCE IN EXTRACTING ED'S TOOTH IS REALLY UNNECESSARY.

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE.

BLEAH. HONESTLY, DOUBLE-D, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

BUTTERED TOAST!

UH...

AH...

GRRR!

GRRR!

MOBY DORK IS MINE!

HOW ON EARTH DID YOU ENLIST KEVIN AS AN ASSOCIATE TO YOUR SCAMS?

SAY WHAT?

WHOA.

HE IS STUBBORN LIKE AN INGROWN BACK HAIR.

FOLLOW ROLF.

Ed: INCOMING!

DON'T HOLD IT. IT'S OVERGROWN AND YOUR CUCUMBERS ARE SOFT.

OW!

SOON WE WILL HAVE ED'S TOOTH, AND THE MONEY WILL BE OURS.

YEAH. JAWBREAKER CITY!

GOTCHA!

Kevin: DORK!

YEE-HA! OH, MAN.

WHAT A DIEHARD!

Ed: OW!

COME ON, COME ON. WHAT'S TAKIN' YA?

HELLO!

ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?

TOOTH FAIRY'S GONNA PAY BIG FOR THIS!

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

THAT'S YOUR TOOTH.

OH!

[GASP]

AH, SO WHAT?

SINCE IT'S MY TOOTH,

I GET TO KEEP ALL THE MONEY!

THE DEAL'S OFF, CAPTAIN AHAB.

BOY, HOW UNLIKE A DORK.

I'M OUTTA HERE.

KEVIN? LET ME RESOLE YOUR SHOES.

YOU DO SEE THE IRONY, DON'T YOU?

UH, THE ONE WHERE WE FORGET ABOUT ED'S TOOTH AND CASH IN MINE?

HERE'S THE OVERVIEW, EDDY.

THE TOOTH FAIRY ONLY APPEARS AT NIGHT, WHEN YOU'RE ASLEEP,

AND THE CANDY STORE CLOSES IN HALF AN HOUR.

SO? IF IT'S SLEEPING SHE WANTS,

IT'S SLEEPING SHE GETS.

IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

Woman over P.A.: THE WHITE ZONE IS FOR IMMEDIATE LOADING AND UNLOADING OF PASSENGERS ONLY.

I DON'T SEE HER.

THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU CAN'T SEE HER.

RIGHT, DOUBLE-D?

VERY WELL PUT, ED.

AWW.

OH, TOOTH FAIRY.

SEE WHAT I GOT?

I WISH I HAD A TAIL.

GO BACK TO SLEEP. EDD!

OH, DEAR.

AAH!

NOT COOL! NOT COOL!

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY TOOTH?

I GOT IT, EDDY! NO PROBLEM.

AAAAAH!

OH. OW.

AH. NO MORE SORE TOOTH.

REAL SMOOTH, ED.

MY TOOTH'S STUCK ON THE ROOF!

Edd: OH, MY.

HA HA! YOU'RE AN ANIMAL, ED!

CHUNKY.

COUGH UP THE TEETH, BIG ED. OH.

ONE MOMENT, SIR.

PLEASE, ED, DON'T TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL.

I'M STUFFED.

LIKE YOUR HEAD.

NO TEETH MEANS NO CASH, AND NO CASH MEANS NO JAWBREAKERS!

AAH! I LOOK LIKE A HOCKEY PLAYER!

OOH.

CENTER SHOT! BARNACLE ED'S THE NAME.

HUH?

YOU'RE A BUG.

HA HA HA!

CHEER UP, ED.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

ED, EDD N EDDY!

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--