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>> Jon: [ Distorted ] MY NAME'S
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JON.
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I'M IN THE WITNESS PROTECTION
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PROGRAM.
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THE RUSSIAN MOB WANTS ME DEAD,
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THE LOVE OF MY LIFE WAS
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MURDERED, BUT, HEY, THIS COOL,
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SINGLE DAD'S STILL GOT TO LIVE
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LIFE.
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OWW!
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PREVIOUSLY ON "DELOCATED!"...
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>> Mike: YEAH, HE -- HE'S HERE
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RIGHT NOW.
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IT'S SETH.
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HE'S BEEN MURDERED.
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RAY'S JUST BEEN MURDERED.
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>> LON'S DEAD.
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OH, MY GOD.
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JON, COME ON. WE GOT TO TALK.
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>> YEAH.
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IT TURNS OUT SHE'S NOT YOUR
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GRANDDAUGHTER.
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>> David: UH-OH.
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IT'S A NEW VIDEO ALERT FROM
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FAKE JON.
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>> Jon: WHAT IS THIS ONE?
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"SANDWICH HUMPER."
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>> SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD.
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>> I AM JON.
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>> GO AHEAD.
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[ GUNSHOT ]
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>> Jon: IF THEY LOST MY JEANS,
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I'M GONNA BE SO MAD -- SO MAD.
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>> WAIT TILL YOU FIND OUT FOR
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SURE.
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>> Jon: WELL, IT'S TAKING A VERY
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LONG TIME.
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IT'S MY FAVORITE PAIR OF JEANS.
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[ SIGHS DEEPLY ]
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>> [ Asian accent ] OH!
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>> Jon: HERE WE GO.
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>> ME SORRY IT TAKE RONG TIME.
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I TRY FIND TICKEH.
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>> Jon: WHAT? TICKEH?
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>> TICKEH.
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>> Jon: OH -- NO, NO, NO, NO.
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TICKET.
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>> TICKEH.
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>> Jon: NO -- TICK-ET.
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PUT A "T" ON THE END.
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>> TICK-EN.
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>> Jon: TICKET.
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>> TICK-ED?
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>> Jon: YOU HEAR AT THE TOP?
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"TUH."
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TUH, TUH, TUH, TUH --
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"TI"...
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>> TI...
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>> Jon: ..."CKET."
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>> TUH-CKET-TUH.
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>> Jon: NO, NEVER MIND.
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JUST HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU,
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PLEASE?
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WHOA. HOLD ON A SECOND.
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>> WHAT?
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>> Jon: HOLD ON A SECOND,
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PLEASE.
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OH, MY GOD.
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OH, MY GOD!
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WHY ARE MY JEANS CREASED?!
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>> OH, JEAN NEED CREASE.
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LOOK SHARP.
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>> Jon: NO, YOU [SIGHS]
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YOU DON'T CREASE JEANS.
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YOU CREASE SLACKS.
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>> JEAN NEED CREASE.
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20 DOLLAR.
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>> Jon: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR
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MIND?!
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20 BUCKS?!
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THESE TOOK A LONG TIME TO BREAK
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IN.
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NOW THEY'RE RUINED.
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YOU JUST LOST A CUSTOMER.
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>> OH, NO, NO.
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HOLD ON. HOLD ON.
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UH...
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I-I NO SUPPOSED TO DO THIS,
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BUT...
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OH.
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PREASE, TAKE THIS.
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I GIVE YOU COUPON, MAKE YOU
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HAPPY CUSTOMER.
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>> Jon: I CAN TAKE THIS TO ANY
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CHINESE RESTAURANT IN THE CITY,
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AND THEY'LL ACCEPT IT?
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>> OH, ANYPLACE.
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CHINESE PEOPLE MAKE SPECIAL
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CODE.
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THAT HOW CHINESE PEOPLE DO
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THINGS.
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>> Jon: SPECIAL CODE?
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YOU CHINESE PEOPLE STICK
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TOGETHER.
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I LIKE THAT.
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I ALSO LIKE GOOD BUSINESS.
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YOU GOT A CUSTOMER BACK.
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I'M JON.
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>> MY NAME EUN MI.
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>> Jon: IT'S VERY PRETTY.
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IT'S DELICATE.
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IT'S LIKE A TENDER PIECE OF
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PINEAPPLE FRIED RICE.
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WITHOUT THE PINEAPPLE, THOUGH.
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I DON'T -- I NEVER UNDERSTOOD
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THAT DISH.
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LIKE, WHY RUIN FRIED RICE WITH
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WARM FRUIT?
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UGH. GROSS.
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[ CHUCKLES ]
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THANKS FOR THE COUPON.
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I'M EXCITED TO USE IT.
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AND, UH, YOUR SECRET'S SAFE WITH
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ME.
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>> THANK YOU.
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>> Jon: BYE!
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>> THANK YOU.
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>> DON'T CONTROL IT, JON! NO!
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ENERGIZE IT.
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YEAH.
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>> Jon: THIS HOOP THERAPY'S BEEN
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REALLY WORKING.
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GOT TO TELL YOU, OLD JON WOULD
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HAVE LOST HIS [BLEEP] ABOUT
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THOSE CREASED JEANS, BUT NEW JON
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STAYED COOL AS A CUKE.
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>> MM-HMM.
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>> Jon: THAT LADY'S PRETTY CUTE,
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TOO.
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>> ASIAN PEOPLE REPRESENT SAFETY
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TO YOU RIGHT NOW, JON.
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THE WANG CHOS OFFER YOU
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PROTECTION, AND SUDDENLY, YOUR
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DRY-CLEANER IS DESIRABLE.
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MAYBE YOU SHOULD ASK HER OUT.
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HMM?
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SEE WHERE IT LEADS.
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>> Jon: I DON'T KNOW.
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SHE BARELY SPEAKS ENGLISH.
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>> THAT MAY BE JUST WHAT YOU
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NEED -- SOMEONE WHO CAN'T
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ARTICULATE ANY DEMANDS ON YOU.
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BUT YOU WON'T KNOW, JON, UNLESS
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YOU TRY.
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>> Jon: IT'LL BE MY FIRST
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CHINESE DATE.
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>> REMEMBER -- IT'S ABOUT
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ENERGY, NOT CONTROL.
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>> OH, GEEZ.
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>> A CRITIC JUDGES WHAT HE
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HIMSELF CANNOT ACHIEVE, T.B.
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WHAT ARE YOU SO SCARED OF?
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HMM?
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WHY DON'T YOU TRY IT?
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>> BECAUSE I HAVE THE GOOD SENSE
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NOT TO FALL FOR SOME CON-ARTIST
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BULL[BLEEP]
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I'M NOT A SUCKER.
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NO OFFENSE, JON.
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>> Jon: HEY, NONE TAKEN.
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I'M HAVING FUN.
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>> WHAT'S NEXT FOR JON --
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PLAYING IN A SANDBOX?
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[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
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>> Jon: HEY, THAT SOUNDS COOL.
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WHEN WE DOING THAT?
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>> HELLO?
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OH, MY GOD.
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>> Jon: OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
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T.B., YOU GOT TO STOP TAKING
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THESE PHONE CALLS, MAN.
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IT'S ALWAYS, "HELLO?
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OH, MY GOD."
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THEN IT'S BAD NEWS.
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SEE? LOOK AT HIS FACE. BAD NEWS.
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LET ME GUESS -- SERGEI SHOT
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DAVID, CUT OFF HIS DICK, I'M
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NEXT.
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RIGHT? SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
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>> IT'S MY MOM.
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SHE'S GETTING A DIVORCE.
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SHE'S LEAVING MY DAD.
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[ SAD MUSIC PLAYS ]
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>> Jon: SO, MY DICK'S NOT NEXT?
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>> JON!
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GET IN.
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>> Jon: [ SIGHS ]
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[ SIGHS DEEPLY ]
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* CHA CHA
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* CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA
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* CHA CHA CHA
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* CHA CHA
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* CHA CHA CHOS
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* CHA CHA CHOS
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* CHA CHA --
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>> KINDLY EXAMINE THESE.
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>> Jon: THIS IS THE ASSHOLE
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THAT'S PRETENDING TO BE ME.
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THIS GUY'S BEEN MAKING ME LOOK
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LIKE A REAL DICK.
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HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT HE DOES WITH
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A SANDWICH?
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>> I AM MORE CONCERNED WITH WHAT
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HE DID TO BOHAI.
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>> I AM JON.
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[ GUNSHOT ECHOES ]
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>> Jon: THIS ISN'T ME!
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YOU GOT TO BELIEVE ME.
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WHY WOULD I KILL ONE OF MY CHO
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BROS?
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>> I, TOO, THINK THIS.
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OR YOU WOULD BE NUMBER 4 LUNCH
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SPECIAL -- MOO GOO GAI DEAD JON.
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BUT THERE IS PROBLEM.
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REST OF WANG CHOS THINK YOU DID
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THIS -- WANT YOU DEAD.
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>> Jon: WELL, IF YOU BELIEVE ME,
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JUST TELL THEM ABOUT FAKE JON.
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>> I'M SORRY.
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BUT UNLESS YOU CAN PROVE IT'S
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NOT YOU...
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YOU DIE.
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>> * LOVE TO SWEEP
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* I LOVE TO SWEEP UP
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* SWEEPING IS FUN
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>> Jon: I TOLD YOU GUYS -- SAME
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GUY!
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LOOK AT THE COAT, RIGHT?
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>> IT'S A VERY SPECIFIC
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JACKET/JEAN/SHOE COMBINATION.
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>> Jon: YEAH, RIGHT?
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>> I'LL GET THAT.
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>> YOU'VE CONVINCED ME, JON.
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>> Jon: BELIEVE THAT ASSHOLE?
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>> SEE YOU LATER.
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>> Jon: HATE THAT GUY!
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I LIKE HIS SHOES, THOUGH.
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THOSE ARE PRETTY COOL.
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>> LET ME GET CUP INTO GARBAGE.
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>> Jon: THOSE ARE THE SHOES THAT
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TONE YOUR BUTT, RIGHT?
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HEY, THEY SHOULD MAKE A PAIR
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THAT TONE YOUR WIENER.
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[ LAUGHS ]
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HERE WE GO, BUDDY.
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>> WELCOME TO NEW YORK, MOTHER.
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NOW LET'S GO UPSTAIRS TO DISCUSS
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THIS LATEST DEVELOPMENT.
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>> Jon: SOMEONE CALL PAUL SIMON,
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HUH?
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GOT A LITTLE MOTHER/CHILD
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REUNION HAPPENING HERE.
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>> SWEETIE, I'M SORRY THIS IS
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HARD.
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BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU I HAVE
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GIVEN THIS A LOT OF THOUGHT.
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>> WELL, HOW DOES DAD FEEL ABOUT
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ALL THIS?
269
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,136
>> WELL, YOU HAVE TO ASK HIM,
270
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,507
BUT I CAN TELL YOU IT WAS A
271
00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:19,406
MUTUAL DECISION.
272
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:20,836
>> WELL, I DID CALL HIM, AND
273
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:21,581
HE'S A MESS.
274
00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:23,005
>> WELL, WHAT DID YOU ASK ME
275
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:23,410
FOR?!
276
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:24,880
DID YOU INVITE ME HERE FOR AN
277
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:25,708
INTERROGATION?
278
00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:27,583
THIS IS NOT ABU GHRAIB, TONY.
279
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:29,481
I DON'T HAVE BALLS FOR YOU TO
280
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:30,883
ELECTROCUTE.
281
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,394
>> Jon: [ CHUCKLES ]
282
00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:33,545
NICE ONE, RENEE.
283
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:35,064
DON'T TAKE THAT.
284
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:37,415
>> RENEE, CONGRATULATIONS ON
285
00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:40,064
CONFRONTING YOUR UNHAPPINESS SO
286
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:40,990
BRAVELY.
287
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:43,664
I HOPE YOUR HEALING HAS BEGUN.
288
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:44,574
>> THANK YOU.
289
00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:46,165
>> NOT ALL DIVORCES CARRY
290
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,696
NEGATIVE IMPLICATIONS.
291
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,602
I CAN SENSE YOU HAVE A POSITIVE
292
00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:52,374
AURA, AND I THINK YOU MADE A
293
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:53,672
HEALTHY DECISION.
294
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,714
YOU'RE SENDING OFF SOME REALLY
295
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,009
PEACEFUL VIBRATIONS.
296
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,710
>> I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GIVING
297
00:07:58,712 --> 00:07:59,752
OFF VIBRATIONS.
298
00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:01,377
I'M GLAD SOMEBODY'S GETTING
299
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:02,721
THEM.
300
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,446
I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO GRAB A
301
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:05,691
NAP.
302
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:06,886
TONY, TRY NOT TO WORRY.
303
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,457
>> Jon: YEAH, WE SHOULD, UH, GET
304
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:09,285
GOING, ANYWAY.
305
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,589
I WANT TO HEAD BACK HOME,
306
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,061
PREPARE FOR MY DATE WITH THAT
307
00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:14,959
SILKY CHINESE MAIDEN.
308
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:16,602
I'M THINKING ABOUT WEARING THREE
309
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,067
COLOGNES TONIGHT -- COVER MY
310
00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:18,565
BASES.
311
00:08:18,566 --> 00:08:20,026
SHE GOT TO LIKE ONE OF THEM.
312
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,303
[ CHUCKLES ]
313
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:23,671
[ ASIAN MUSIC PLAYS ]
314
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,540
MMM.
315
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,642
WHAM, BAM, THANK YOU, CHINA.
316
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,614
[ CHUCKLES ]
317
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:33,983
HEY, THANKS FOR COMING OUT
318
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:34,581
TONIGHT.
319
00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:36,052
KIND OF THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE
320
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:37,279
INTO SOME CHINESE FOOD.
321
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:39,894
>> OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.
322
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:42,717
MMM. I LIKE YOUR COLOGNE.
323
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:43,893
>> Jon: WHICH ONE?
324
00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,891
[ LAUGHS ]
325
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:47,393
HEY, YOU GOT ROOM FOR DESSERT?
326
00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:49,264
>> OH, NO, THANK YOU.
327
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:50,662
MY TUMMY FULL.
328
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:52,274
>> Jon: YOU SURE?
329
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:53,995
'CAUSE, UH...
330
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:57,071
MONEY IS NO OBJECT.
331
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:57,840
BOOM.
332
00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:00,138
>> OH, YOU BRING COUPON.
333
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:03,010
THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
334
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,510
>> Jon: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
335
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:06,852
OH. HERE YOU GO, MY MAN.
336
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,417
I BELIEVE THIS ONE IS ON THE
337
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,075
HOUSE TONIGHT.
338
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,953
>> WHAT THIS?
339
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,092
>> Jon: COME ON, DUDE.
340
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,186
DON'T MAKE ME LOOK BAD.
341
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:15,487
IT'S ONE OF YOUR AUTHENTIC
342
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,788
CHINESE DINNER COUPONS -- GIVEN
343
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:20,461
TO ME BY THIS VERY LOVELY AND
344
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:23,330
VERY AUTHENTIC CHINESE LADY.
345
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:24,970
>> UH, THIS...JOKE?
346
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,125
[ CHUCKLES ]
347
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:26,603
YOU PAY.
348
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,970
>> Jon: EUN MI, YOU WANT TO TELL
349
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,038
THIS GUY WHAT'S GOING ON?
350
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:30,996
HE OBVIOUSLY DOES NOT READ
351
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,474
ENGLISH.
352
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,442
>> [ SPEAKING KOREAN ]
353
00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:39,145
>> [ SPEAKING CHINESE ]
354
00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:41,846
>> [ SPEAKING KOREAN ]
355
00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:43,719
>> Jon: SO, WE ALL SET?
356
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,687
>> WHY SHE SPEAK KOREAN?
357
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:47,016
YOU PAY, OR I CALL THE POLICE.
358
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,190
>> Jon: SHE'S NOT SPEAKING
359
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:48,658
KOREAN.
360
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:49,786
IT'S CHINESE.
361
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,390
HOW ABOUT AN APOLOGY?
362
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,361
>> [ LAUGHING ]
363
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:56,732
>> Jon: WHAT IS SO FUNNY?
364
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:58,800
[ LAUGHS ]
365
00:09:58,799 --> 00:09:59,999
[ American accent ] DUDE.
366
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,870
YOU'RE A [BLEEP] IDIOT.
367
00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:11,043
>> Jon: HONESTLY, I CAN'T
368
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:12,314
BELIEVE YOU'RE NOT CHINESE.
369
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:13,482
>> OH, BELIEVE IT, DUDE.
370
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:14,250
I'M KOREAN.
371
00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:16,047
>> Jon: I'VE BEEN COMING TO THE
372
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:18,319
DRY-CLEANER FOR WEEKS.
373
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:19,418
WHY WOULD YOU PRETEND THAT YOU
374
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:20,389
CAN BARELY SPEAK ENGLISH?
375
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:21,047
>> I DON'T KNOW.
376
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,224
IT WAS JUST FUN [BLEEP] WITH
377
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:22,862
YOU.
378
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,386
"TICKEH. TICKEH."
379
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:27,361
[ Laughing ] OH, MY GOD. UNREAL.
380
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,060
>> Jon: "UNREAL" LIKE -- LIKE,
381
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:30,002
GOOD "UNREAL"?
382
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:31,557
>> OH, THIS IS THE BEST TIME
383
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,004
I'VE EVER HAD ON A DATE.
384
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,370
>> Jon: REALLY?
385
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,097
SO...
386
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:37,443
MAYBE YOU'D GO OUT WITH ME
387
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:37,937
AGAIN.
388
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,438
>> YOU KNOW, NORMALLY, NO WAY,
389
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:40,909
BUT IF YOU THINK YOU CAN TOP
390
00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:43,508
TONIGHT, THEN YEAH.
391
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:46,580
OTHERWISE, DON'T BOTHER.
392
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:47,919
BY THE WAY, AREN'T THOSE THE
393
00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:49,245
JEANS YOU LOST YOUR [BLEEP]
394
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:50,349
ABOUT?
395
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:50,920
>> Jon: OH.
396
00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:52,288
YEAH, YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT ABOUT
397
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:53,685
IT A LITTLE MORE, AND I KIND OF
398
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,057
STARTED TO LIKE THEM AND THOUGHT
399
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:56,285
I'D WEAR THEM TONIGHT ON THE
400
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:58,059
DATE JUST TO GIVE CREDIT WHERE
401
00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,858
CREDIT'S DUE ABOUT A -- ABOUT A
402
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,230
GREAT CREASE.
403
00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:01,858
YOU KNOW --
404
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,132
[ Asian accent ] LOOK SHARP.
405
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:04,400
>> NO, YOU HAD IT RIGHT THE
406
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,027
FIRST TIME.
407
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:07,432
CREASED JEANS LOOK STUPID.
408
00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:16,775
>> OH! GOOD NIGHT, TODD.
409
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,747
GOOD NIGHT, WHORE.
410
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:25,091
>> [ SPEAKING CHINESE ]
411
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,888
[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]
412
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,890
>> HAVE FUN TONIGHT.
413
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,585
>> TONY, I'M SORRY WE GOT OFF TO
414
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:36,734
SUCH A ROUGH START, BUT I HAVE
415
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:37,660
HAD A WONDERFUL TIME.
416
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:38,934
>> WELL, I'M GLAD YOU HAD FUN,
417
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:39,272
MOM.
418
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,566
BUT WE BETTER HURRY, OR YOU'RE
419
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:41,567
GONNA MISS YOUR FLIGHT.
420
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:42,898
>> OH, I'M GONNA STAY A FEW MORE
421
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:43,273
DAYS.
422
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:44,970
I WANT TO SEE SOME MUSEUMS
423
00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:46,772
AND -- AND GO TO A BROADWAY
424
00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:47,844
SHOW.
425
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:48,341
>> OKAY.
426
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:49,781
I GUESS I COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF
427
00:11:49,777 --> 00:11:50,307
DAYS OFF.
428
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,480
>> OH, THAT'S OKAY, HONEY.
429
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:52,778
I ALREADY HAVE SOMEBODY WHO'S
430
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:53,750
GONNA SHOW ME AROUND.
431
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:54,607
[ TOILET FLUSHES ]
432
00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:57,154
>> DARLING.
433
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,920
OH. HI, JON. TONY.
434
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,450
DARLING, I HAVE JUST HAD A VERY
435
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:02,294
STEAMY SHOWER.
436
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:03,619
I'M GONNA GO AND TOWEL OFF
437
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:05,463
BEFORE WE GET GOING.
438
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:06,528
MMM.
439
00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:07,456
[ SMOOCHING ]
440
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:11,930
MMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
441
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:13,272
SEE YOU LATER, GUYS.
442
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,836
>> Jon: PROBABLY NOT WHAT
443
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,995
PAUL SIMON HAD IN MIND WITH
444
00:12:17,004 --> 00:12:18,774
"MOTHER/CHILD REUNION."
445
00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:21,642
[ Chuckling ] OH, MY GOD.
446
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:25,477
>> HE NEEDS TO BE FIRED.
447
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:26,808
>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT, T.B.?
448
00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:28,184
IN THE GLAZE'S DEFENSE, YOUR
449
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:29,521
MOTHER IS AN ADULT.
450
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:31,376
SHE CAN PULL A BANG 'N' BONE
451
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:33,354
WITH WHOEVER SHE WANTS.
452
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:34,093
RIGHT, SUSAN?
453
00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,491
>> I HAD A FEELING THIS MIGHT
454
00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:37,222
HAPPEN.
455
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:38,464
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU HAD A
456
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:40,858
FEELING?
457
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:43,831
>> LET'S JUST SAY THE GLAZE IS
458
00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:46,971
WELL-SCHOOLED IN THE ART OF SEX.
459
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:47,967
>> Jon: OH, BOY.
460
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:49,538
>> WE DID A PRESENTATION WITH
461
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:51,166
THE GLAZE A FEW YEARS AGO, AND
462
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:53,071
ONE ASPECT OF THE SHOW WAS HIS
463
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:57,343
WORK AS A COUPLES SEX THERAPIST.
464
00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:58,884
I FELT I NEEDED TO KNOW WHAT HIS
465
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:01,709
QUALIFICATIONS WERE, SO I, UM...
466
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:02,724
>> OH, MY GOD.
467
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:03,675
>> Jon: HO-HO!
468
00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:05,353
THE PLOT THICKENS.
469
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:06,692
>> IT'S NOT SO MUCH WHAT HE
470
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,086
BROUGHT TO THE TABLE, 'CAUSE,
471
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:09,388
YOU KNOW, IT WASN'T MUCH.
472
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,689
IT'S WHAT HE DID WITH IT.
473
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:12,490
IT WAS HIS STROKE.
474
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:15,062
HE PACKED MORE INTO ONE PUMP
475
00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:16,402
THAN A LIFETIME OF LOVERS EVER
476
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:16,826
COULD.
477
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,100
>> I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS.
478
00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:18,828
>> Jon: I DO.
479
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:20,332
>> I KNOW THIS IS DIFFICULT, BUT
480
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,603
YOU NEED TO KNOW WHO YOU'RE
481
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:22,371
DEALING WITH.
482
00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:23,499
>> WELL, I THINK HE'S A
483
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:24,773
MANIPULATIVE OPPORTUNIST --
484
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:25,941
WHO DROPPED SOME NEW-AGE
485
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:27,239
BULL[BLEEP] ON A VULNERABLE
486
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,610
WOMAN AND THEN WENT BALLS DEEP.
487
00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:31,409
>> BALLS FIRST.
488
00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:33,411
HE GOES BALLS FIRST.
489
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:36,183
[ NEW AGE MUSIC PLAYS ]
490
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:37,353
>> CAN YOU FEEL ME?
491
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:37,950
>> YES.
492
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:39,391
>> OHH, THAT FEELS GOOD.
493
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:40,916
[ GROANS ]
494
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:41,551
FEEL IT!
495
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:42,124
>> YES!
496
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:43,522
>> [ MOANS ] FEEL IT FLOW.
497
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:44,263
>> YES. YES.
498
00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:44,857
>> [ MOANS ]
499
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,088
>> Jon: T.B., JUST GO EASY, MAN.
500
00:13:46,093 --> 00:13:46,763
>> TONY!
501
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:48,359
>> THE JIG IS UP, FRIEND.
502
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:50,231
THIS THING WITH YOU AND MY MOM
503
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:50,930
ENDS NOW.
504
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:51,931
>> TONY, STOP!
505
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,702
>> MA, HE'S JUST GONNA LEAVE
506
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:54,970
YOU.
507
00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:56,238
>> TONY, YOU'RE WRONG.
508
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:57,736
WE HAVE A STRONG CONNECTION.
509
00:13:57,737 --> 00:13:59,267
>> MA, THAT'S JUST THE STROKE
510
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:02,312
TALKING!
511
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:04,039
>> SO WHAT IF IT IS?
512
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:06,314
IF YOU CAN'T BE HAPPY FOR ME,
513
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:08,723
JUST, PLEASE, LEAVE ME ALONE SO
514
00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,415
I CAN ENJOY THE REST OF MY TRIP.
515
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:11,987
AND IF YOU CAN'T BE HAPPY FOR
516
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,485
ME AFTER THAT, THEN I GUESS
517
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,056
YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO LEAVE ME
518
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:18,325
ALONE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
519
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:19,925
>> T.B., I RESPECT THE FACT THAT
520
00:14:19,927 --> 00:14:21,287
YOU'RE LOOKING OUT FOR YOUR
521
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:22,064
MOTHER.
522
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:24,262
BUT I GENUINELY CARE FOR HER,
523
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,334
AND I HOPE YOU BELIEVE THAT.
524
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,743
I PROMISE THAT I WILL NEVER HARM
525
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,095
THIS LADY.
526
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,973
AND I PROMISE TO BE A GREAT
527
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,573
STEPDAD TO YOU.
528
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:35,014
HMM?
529
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:36,778
HEY -- I COULD TEACH YOU HOW TO
530
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:37,636
DRIVE A STICK SHIFT!
531
00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:38,284
[ CHUCKLES ]
532
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:39,308
>> HOW ABOUT YOU DRIVE THIS
533
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,412
STICK?
534
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:43,324
>> Jon: OH, THE MOTHER/CHILD
535
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:44,846
REUNION HAS TAKEN A --
536
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,891
>> SHUT UP, JON!
537
00:14:48,155 --> 00:14:49,455
>> Jon: MAN, TEACHING YOU TO
538
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:51,016
DRIVE STICK.
539
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:53,094
THE GLAZE IS A GREAT STEPDAD.
540
00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:54,793
>> HE'S NOT MY STEPDAD.
541
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:56,034
>> Jon: NOT YET.
542
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:58,169
FIRST COMES STROKE, THEN COMES
543
00:14:58,165 --> 00:14:59,425
MARRIAGE.
544
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:01,302
[ LAUGHS ]
545
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:02,701
OH, HEY, BY THE WAY, DAVID'S
546
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:04,202
SLEEPING AT A FRIEND'S TONIGHT,
547
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:05,814
SO IT'S JUST YOU, ME, AND EUN MI
548
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:06,705
AT THE APARTMENT.
549
00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:08,136
I GOT A REAL NICE CANDLELIT
550
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:08,981
DINNER PLANNED.
551
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:10,976
IT'S GONNA BE PRETTY SWEET.
552
00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:11,948
PRETTY S--
553
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:13,505
OH, HERE SHE COMES.
554
00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:14,353
[ DOOR OPENS ]
555
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:15,777
HELLO, THERE. HOW ARE YOU?
556
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:16,622
>> OH, MY GOD.
557
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:18,016
WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOUR
558
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:18,688
PANTS?
559
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:20,345
>> Jon: DOUBLE CREASE.
560
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:22,563
I DREW THE CREASE-PIRATION FROM
561
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:23,815
YOU, MY LOVELY KIMONO.
562
00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:25,463
>> IF THIS IS HOW THE NIGHT IS
563
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:26,958
STARTING, IT IS A REALLY BAD
564
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:27,360
SIGN.
565
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,800
WHERE ARE WE GOING -- BACK TO
566
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,225
YOUR APARTMENT FOR A CANDLELIT
567
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:32,400
DINNER OR SOMETHING LAME?
568
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:33,129
>> Jon: UH...
569
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:33,673
[ SCOFFS ]
570
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:34,566
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
571
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:35,867
WHY WOULD I DO SOMETHING THAT
572
00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:36,338
STUPID?
573
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:36,996
[ CHUCKLES ]
574
00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:38,374
>> OKAY, THEN. WHAT'S THE PLAN?
575
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:39,541
>> Jon: UH...YOU'LL SEE.
576
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:40,909
I GOT A COUPLE SURPRISES UP MY
577
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:41,407
CREASE.
578
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:42,338
>> OH, NO, NO, NO.
579
00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:43,712
I NEED TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT
580
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:44,040
IS.
581
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:45,414
IF IT'S SOMETHING LAME, TELL ME
582
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,152
SO I DON'T WASTE MY NIGHT.
583
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,017
[ HORN HONKS ]
584
00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:51,246
>> JON!
585
00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:53,491
GET IN.
586
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:54,846
>> GOOD START.
587
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:57,424
>> Jon: YEAH, RIGHT? I-I KNOW.
588
00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:58,594
HERE -- HERE WE GO.
589
00:15:58,591 --> 00:15:59,091
>> OH.
590
00:15:59,092 --> 00:15:59,892
>> Jon: OKAY.
591
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:01,492
>> [ GIGGLES ]
592
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:04,896
>> THIS IS AMAZING.
593
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:06,567
>> Jon: OH. Y-YEAH. THANKS.
594
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,766
I, UH, I KNEW YOU'D BE PSYCHED
595
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:10,438
ABOUT THIS.
596
00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:11,697
>> ARE WE EATING HERE?
597
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,244
>> Jon: UH, YEAH, I THINK WE
598
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:14,340
ARE.
599
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:15,241
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
600
00:16:15,242 --> 00:16:16,542
NO, WE'RE NOT EATING HERE.
601
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:17,543
>> OUR GUEST TONIGHT
602
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:19,884
IMPERSONATED YOU AND TRIED TO
603
00:16:19,879 --> 00:16:22,419
GET YOU KILLED.
604
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:25,185
NOW IS YOUR CHANCE FOR PAYBACK.
605
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:27,815
[ CHAIN JINGLES ]
606
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:34,787
>> OH!
607
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:35,864
WHAT THE [BLEEP]
608
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:37,832
>> HOLY [BLEEP] TODD BARRY!
609
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,596
>> [ SPEAKING CHINESE ]
610
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:42,641
>> THIS IS A MISTAKE, MAN.
611
00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:43,865
>> Jon: NO, IT'S NOT A MISTAKE.
612
00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:44,870
THIS IS -- THIS IS WHAT I
613
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:45,271
PLANNED.
614
00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:47,242
>> SHUT UP!
615
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,108
THIS WILL STILL SEND A MESSAGE
616
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,253
TO THE MIRMINSKYS.
617
00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:56,818
THE MURDER OF BOHAI WAS THE
618
00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:58,586
FINAL STRAW.
619
00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:01,915
BUT TONIGHT BEGINS THE STORM...
620
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:03,891
OF REVENGE.
621
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,955
>> Jon: OH, YEAH. BACK UP, BABY.
622
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,730
>> NO. NO. NO. NO. PLEASE.
623
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:10,629
NO, THIS IS A MISTAKE!
624
00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:11,760
I'M NOT EVEN THE RIGHT GUY!
625
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,004
>> Jon: NO, IT'S NOT A MISTAKE.
626
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:14,169
THIS IS WHAT I PLANNED FOR MY
627
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:14,727
GIRLFRIEND.
628
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:15,974
REMEMBER HOW WE TALKED ABOUT IT?
629
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:16,938
>> I D-- THAT'S NOT --
630
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:18,066
>> Jon: AND THIS IS THE PART
631
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:19,911
WHERE I SAY THAT I'M SORRY I GOT
632
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:20,566
TO DO THIS!
633
00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:21,643
>> PLEASE. PLEASE, NO.
634
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:23,011
>> Jon: I CAN DO THIS, RIGHT?
635
00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:23,909
>> BIG, HARD JON.
636
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:25,250
>> Jon: YEAH, BIG, HARD JON.
637
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,105
>> BIG, HARD JON!
638
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:27,113
>> NO, COME ON, MAN!
639
00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:28,454
>> Jon: YEAH, I CAN DO THIS.
640
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:29,818
>> NO! NO! THIS IS A MISTAKE!
641
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:30,776
>> Jon: AARGH!
642
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:31,853
>> OOF!
643
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:34,021
>> WHOO! OH, YEAH!
644
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:36,160
WHOOOOOOO!
645
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:37,016
THAT FELT GOOD!
646
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:38,433
YOU GOT TO GET IN ON THIS!
647
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:39,355
>> HOLD MY PURSE.
648
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:40,829
>> NO, YOU'RE A FAN OF MINE.
649
00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:41,857
I CAN'T DO COMED--
650
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:42,361
OH!
651
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:43,502
>> [ LAUGHS ]
652
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:44,196
>> Jon: YEAH!
653
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:44,697
>> WHOO!
654
00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:45,927
>> Jon: LET'S GET DINNER!
655
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:47,002
>> YEAH!
656
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:49,969
>> I CANNOT BELIEVE I GOT TO
657
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,669
WALE ON TODD BARRY.
658
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:52,471
>> Jon: OH, YEAH.
659
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:53,512
I KNEW YOU'D LIKE THAT.
660
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:54,506
I KNEW YOU'D LIKE THAT.
661
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:55,637
>> THAT IS TWO FUN-AS-HELL
662
00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:56,012
DATES.
663
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:57,278
>> Jon: NOW THE ONLY QUESTION
664
00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:59,947
IS, THINK YOU CAN TOP IT?
665
00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:01,046
>> CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
666
00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:02,317
>> Jon: WELL, ALL RIGHT.
667
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:02,875
MWAH.
668
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:04,722
>> HAVE A GOOD NIGHT, JON.
669
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,347
>> Jon: I ALREADY DID.
670
00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:08,323
NOW IT'S TIME TO FIND OUT IF
671
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,961
YOU'RE A SHAB IN HABS CLOTHING.
672
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:13,557
SHAB -- "SMART, HOT, ASIAN
673
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,790
BABE."
674
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:17,134
>> UGH.
675
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,730
>> Jon: T-MINUS FIVE DATES TILL
676
00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:21,301
JONNY GETS LAID.
677
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,341
>> "DRAGON HAS AWOKEN FROM
678
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:24,166
SLUMBER.
679
00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:27,371
FIRE BURNS HOT IN BELLY, SOON TO
680
00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:30,684
ROAR LIKE ANGRY SUN."
681
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:33,347
IS THAT ALL?
682
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:36,176
>> [ Slurred ] THEY SAID TO ALSO
683
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:38,493
HIT MISHKA WITH THESE.
684
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:39,915
>> THEY WANT MISHKA TO HIT YOU
685
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:40,589
WITH THESE?
686
00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,047
>> NO. NO. NO. NO. HE SAID --
687
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,164
>> VERY WELL. MISHKA!
688
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:44,816
>> OH, NO, NO.
689
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:45,494
>> COME.
690
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:46,532
>> YOU HIT HIM.
691
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:47,686
NO! YOU -- OH, NO.
692
00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:48,904
>> HIT TODD BARRY.
693
00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:49,825
>> NO. NO. NO.
694
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:50,359
>> REALLY?!
695
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:51,563
>> YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HIT HIM.
696
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:52,604
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HIT --
697
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:53,199
NO, DON'T!
698
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:53,570
UGH!
699
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:54,326
[ WHIMPERS ]
700
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:55,774
>> I FEEL LIKE TOUGH GUY.
701
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:59,408
>> THE TIME FOR WHINING IS OVER.
702
00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:01,706
WAR IS COMING.
703
00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:03,378
[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON
704
00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:05,846
HEADPHONES ]
705
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,175
>> DOES HE NEED TO BE HERE?
706
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:08,580
>> YOU KNOW I CAN'T LEAVE HIS
707
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:09,051
SIDE.
708
00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:10,518
BUT HE'S LISTENING TO MUSIC SO
709
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:11,577
WE CAN HAVE A PRIVATE
710
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,594
CONVERSATION.
711
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:16,456
JON!
712
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:19,286
MOM, YOU'RE MY MOTHER.
713
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:22,562
BUT YOU'RE ALSO RENEE --
714
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,632
A SEXUAL BEING WITH CARNAL URGES
715
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:25,701
AND DESIRES.
716
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:27,228
YOUR HAPPINESS MEANS MORE TO ME
717
00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:28,874
THAN THE FACT THAT YOU'RE DATING
718
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:31,798
SOME DESPICABLE DOUCHEBAG.
719
00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:33,974
LOOK.
720
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:36,313
I'M OKAY IF YOU WANT TO HAVE
721
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:39,209
SOME POST-DIVORCE [BLEEP]FEST.
722
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:41,312
>> Jon: [ CHUCKLES ]
723
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:43,784
"POST-DIVORCE [BLEEP]FEST."
724
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:49,259
* POST-DIVORCE [BLEEP]FEST
725
00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:51,416
* ROCK 'N' ROLL TONIGHT
726
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:54,264
[ SINGING INDISTINCTLY ]
727
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:55,861
PEARL JAM.
728
00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:58,930
>> Jon: * DATE NIGHT
729
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:02,341
* DOIN' IT RIGHT TONIGHT
730
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:03,635
OH. UM, HI.
731
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:05,906
I'M HERE TO SEE EUN MI.
732
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:06,935
>> [ Asian accent ] YOU MAN DATE
733
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,009
DAUGHTER?
734
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,577
>> Jon: OH. UH, YES, MA'AM.
735
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:11,777
MY NAME IS JON.
736
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:14,008
>> EUN MI NO HERE.
737
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:17,123
>> Jon: OH. UM...OKAY.
738
00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:18,146
WE HAD A DATE TONIGHT.
739
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:19,590
DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE MIGHT BE?
740
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:22,756
>> YEAH, SHE DIE.
741
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,155
>> Jon: EXCUSE ME?
742
00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:26,656
>> SHE DIE.
743
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:27,659
>> Jon: ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON A
744
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:28,030
SEC.
745
00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:28,797
[ CHUCKLES ]
746
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:30,155
AM I NOT UNDERSTANDING YOUR
747
00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:30,662
ACCENT?
748
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,303
I MEAN, ARE YOU SAYING SOMETHING
749
00:20:32,299 --> 00:20:32,699
ELSE?
750
00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:34,329
SHE -- IS SHE TIRED?
751
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:38,644
>> NO. SHE DIE.
752
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:40,608
>> Jon: SHE DIED?
753
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:46,484
OH, MY --
754
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:48,449
REALLY?
755
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,946
HOLD ON A SECOND.
756
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:54,651
HOLD ON A SECOND. I GOT IT.
757
00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,824
OKAY. OKAY, GOOD ONE.
758
00:20:56,823 --> 00:20:57,393
GOOD ONE.
759
00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:58,690
LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER,
760
00:20:58,691 --> 00:20:59,161
RIGHT?
761
00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:00,388
YOU SPEAK PERFECT ENGLISH.
762
00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:01,733
YOU'RE JUST [BLEEP] WITH ME.
763
00:21:01,728 --> 00:21:02,858
I'D GO TO THE FUNERAL.
764
00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:04,232
YOU BOTH SHOW UP, HAVE A GOOD
765
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:04,900
LAUGH.
766
00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:06,967
VERY FUNNY. VERY GOOD ACCENT.
767
00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:08,366
EUN MI? WE SHOULD GO, PLEASE.
768
00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:11,068
>> NO! SHE NOT HERE. SHE DIE.
769
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:14,010
YOU SEE CANDLE. I'M MOURNING.
770
00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:16,476
[ Voice breaking ] VERY SAD.
771
00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:21,152
>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.
772
00:21:21,147 --> 00:21:23,847
HERE'S...FLOWERS...
773
00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:26,690
IN CASE SHE REALLY IS DEAD.
774
00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:28,556
UM, I'M VERY SKEPTICAL OF THIS.
775
00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:29,985
I REALLY THINK THIS IS
776
00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:30,819
BULL[BLEEP]
777
00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:32,593
BUT LOOK -- IF IT'S NOT, THEN
778
00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:33,562
I'M SO SORRY.
779
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,430
BUT IF IT IS, THEN IT'S [BLEEP]
780
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:37,058
NOT COOL.
781
00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:38,673
>> HOPEFULLY, I'LL BE ABLE TO
782
00:21:38,665 --> 00:21:40,365
VISIT AGAIN SOON, AND NEXT TIME,
783
00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:42,027
MAYBE JUST ME AND YOU.
784
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:44,004
OKAY?
785
00:21:45,772 --> 00:21:47,042
OH!
786
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:50,609
I GOT YOU SOMETHING.
787
00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:53,710
TRY TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND.
788
00:21:53,713 --> 00:21:56,223
>> Jon: BYE, RENEE!
789
00:21:56,215 --> 00:21:57,775
>> BYE, MOM.
790
00:21:57,784 --> 00:21:59,754
>> Jon: WHAT'D YOU GET?
791
00:22:01,621 --> 00:22:04,021
OH, YEAH. [ LAUGHS ]
792
00:22:05,358 --> 00:22:07,828
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
793
00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:13,200
>> [ Slurred ] NICE TO BE HERE.
794
00:22:13,199 --> 00:22:15,669
[ TALKING INDISTINCTLY ]
795
00:22:20,807 --> 00:22:21,737
[ LAUGHTER ]
796
00:22:21,741 --> 00:22:22,611
>> [ LAUGHS ]
797
00:22:22,609 --> 00:22:24,579
[ TALKING INDISTINCTLY ]
48083
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