Original subtitles

Okay, Wratherheads,

today my sister and I asked you

if you'd rather be a human kite

or a human windmill?

And it looks like you picked kite.

Ollie, you ready to fly?

I'm going to high-five a bird!

No offense, Wratherheads, but I give you...

Our biggest fan!

That's epic! Where did you get it?

I got a guy. We made a deal.

Speaking of deals. Fred! Now!

Here he is, all the way from today's sponsor,

Shane's Breakfast Barn, it's "Sunny Side-Fred."

There is nothing sunny about this.

Spin the sign, eggboy!

My foot!

I need a doctor!

Okay, hold on to your Ollies.

[Ollie] Wee!

We provide so much joy to our viewers.

We really do. We're a good team.

You're both monsters!

And your brother is floating away.

Whoops! Pull in the rope!

He's coming in fast! Watch out, Fred!

[Ollie] Catch me!

[screaming]

[theme music playing]

♪ Would you rather lose your phone ♪

♪ Or give up pizza for a month ♪

♪ Share your diary with the world ♪

♪ Or have to eat it for your lunch ♪

♪ Sing out of tune to your friends ♪

♪ Or trip and fall into your crush ♪

♪ Shave your head, paint it red ♪

♪ Or use your dog's toothbrush ♪

♪ We need a little Q and A ♪

♪ Come on Wratherheads, play along ♪

♪ Would you rather do this ♪

♪ Would you rather do this ♪

♪ Or would you rather do that ♪

♪ Would you rather do that ♪

♪ Don't matter what we do ♪

♪ We're doing it with you ♪

♪ I'd rather do that ♪

♪ Ask the world Would you rather do this ♪

♪ Would you rather do this ♪

♪ Or would you rather just dance ♪

♪ No matter what we do We're doing it with you ♪

♪ I'd rather do that ♪

Ask the world!

♪ Would you rather do that? ♪

Whoa.

Why is the snack shack all boarded up?

Are they shutting it down?

No! It can't be!

Those dino chicken nuggets gave me these boulders.

Charlotte, what's going on?

Dinky's is done.

They're closing the rink down.

Uh, Karen.

I don't think you're supposed to take the milkshake maker.

Good luck out there.

Stay in school.

Kenny G! Get the door!

That's Bobby Bonafonte, the new owner.

It was his dad's place, but he retired.

Now Bobby's turning it into a shopping center and I'm out of a job.

But this is our hangout.

Where are we supposed to waste time?

I don't want to waste time at a shopping center.

What are we, animals?

I can't believe this.

I've played hockey here my whole life.

A puck knocked out my first tooth right over there.

And I still feel bad about that.

Remember Mom and Dad used to rent out this place for our birthdays?

And don't forget Captain Claw.

-Please no. -Not again.

I can't.

My mortal enemy. The claw game.

So many quarters... not one prize.

Always laughing at me. Hoping I'll go insane.

I think he got his wish.

Guys, we have to stop Bobby from closing the rink.

Good luck changing his mind, he's super cranky.

You're fired!

That's his son.

Kids. I've got some big news to share!

You got me a horse.

You're taking us to Hawaii?

On a horse!

No, but great guesses...

Oh, who am I kidding? Ollie, look at a map.

You know that house that no one in my office can sell?

Well, they're offering a bonus

to whoever can get it done.

So, I'm gonna use two of my well-behaved children

to show how this neighborhood is the perfect place to raise perfect kids.

He takes my rink, I take his head!

And, spoiler alert, it isn't them.

Congrats, you two, you got the job!

I'll pay you and you'll have an excellent boss.

Who?

I may pay you a little less.

I'm in. What do you need us to do?

Just be yourselves...

and say exactly what I've written on these pages.

What are these?

Scripts!

Polite and positive things to say in front of potential buyers.

"Family time is the most precious time of all"?

"I love cleaning my room"?

Who wrote this garbage? Alright, so here's what I'm thinking.

The best way to keep the rink open

is to charm Bobby and let him know how much the rink means to us.

That sounds lovely.

Aww, Cooper, so sweet with your big heart.

You make me sick!

This is no time for flattery.

We gotta bring the hammer down on this guy.

Ooh, that sounds lovely, too.

Who really responds to threats?

-Not me. -Button it, squid lips.

Yes, ma'am.

Cami, you're dead wrong.

Being nice works.

We'll ask the Wratherheads and they'll back me up!

Only thing they're gonna prove

is you don't know what you're talking about.

Hey Wratherheads, coming at you today with a big question:

Would you, attractive geniuses,

rather win someone over with charm and kindness--

Or...

win them over with strength and determination?

Vote now!

Oh, no.

Half the Wratherheads say be kind,

half say be strong.

It's a 50/50 split!

This has never happened before.

But they always give us an answer.

What are we gonna do?

I can't blame the Wratherheads.

I could never choose between you guys.

You're my best friend and you're my--

Don't say future wife.

I was going to say favorite neighbor,

but I like where your head's at.

Well...

There's only one way to prove who's right.

Way ahead of you.

Two rounds. Prison rules.

Whoa. You're not taking any more teeth.

These pearly bad boys

are part of the charm that's gonna save our rink.

And I'll do it on my own.

Not if I do it first. On my own.

Does this mean you guys aren't working together?

I don't like this plan.

Who will I hang out with?

Who will I root for? I feel panicky.

Uh oh. Here comes the tummy juice!

Don't look at me!

And that brings us back to the living room,

beautiful as advertised.

What a surprise, my children!

Hello, Mother.

Sorry we are late, but we lost track of time

down at the newly renovated library

with plenty of parking.

Yes, I love eating books.

Reading books. You love reading books.

Do the lines right or you're not getting paid.

Oliver, did you hear about the new speed bumps?

I forgot my line.

Gross, there's that fish smell again.

Well, I think the house smells perfect.

I smell the fish.

I think Ollie rolled in something again.

No, it's you.

I used your girl bag to clean my fish tank this morning.

Ollie! Why would you do that?

'Cause my script said I like cleaning my room.

So I cleaned my room.

"Script"? He's a confused young man.

How would you like your face cleaned?

You'll have to catch me first.

[screaming]

[screaming]

We're going to leave now.

Wait, you forgot my card.

No, we didn't.

Cami, I'm here, ready to support you.

I hate to break it to you, but I don't need your help.

Oh, Cami. You don't always have to be so brave.

Time to scare Bonafonte with a little muscle.

Meet Tony. [whistles]

I got a guy who got me this bigger guy.

You don't need him. You have me.

[growls]

But maybe Tony can fill in while I take care of this hand cramp.

[snaps]

Mr. Bonafonte? Meet my friend, Tony.

Tony hates when I don't get my way.

And my way is keeping our rink open.

Show him what you do, big guy.

I'm impressed.

You really made me rethink this...

which is why I'm gonna pay this guy

double whatever you paid him

to help me clear out this dump.

'K, that was very misleading.

Your first task is taking this brat out of my building.

She's banned. For life.

Okay, I'm not going anywhere.

And here I go.

Leaving so soon?

[mocking] "Leaving so soon?"

Coop! I'm here, ready to support you.

Just watch me do what Cami couldn't.

Mr. Bonafonte? Cooper Wrather.

I see we both go to the school of awesome hair.

Go away.

So how long has your family owned this beloved hockey rink?

Forty-five soul-crushing years.

Yes, magical, isn't it? This rink saved me from falling in with the wrong crowd!

I'll bet you have some good memories of this place.

Not even one.

Freddie Two-Fists is what they called me!

Ignore him.

Look at all those other normal kids out there having fun.

Don't you want that to continue?

Nope.

Ow!

Okay, now I'm not closing the rink at the end of the month...

I'm closing it next week!

'K, that was very misleading.

My bad!

I feel terrible that we messed things up for Mom.

I hope she like these cookies we made her for her open house.

Oh, look, here are my two wonderful children,

Oliver and Charlotte.

What?

Hello, mummy.

My brother Ollie and I were just discussing our love

for the newly renovated library with plenty of parking.

Yes, I love reading books.

Mrs. Wrather, your children are absolutely lovely.

Whoa. Is that me from the future?

Man, I really let myself go.

No, Mom replaced us with actors to help sell the house!

Well, we'll definitely be in touch.

Looking forward to getting an offer.

Woohoo! Great job, kiddos.

Here you go.

And how 'bout I take my amazing children

to dinner at Lenaguine's?

Sweet!

Not us, them!

So, how was everyone's day?

Absolutely splendid, mummy.

I forgot my line.

Moving on. Cooper, Cami?

Ask Cami if she's been forcibly removed from any businesses lately.

Ask Cooper if he caused our hangout to be shutdown even earlier.

Please stop fighting.

I'm an impressionable young man.

Fred's right.

What's our one rule at the table?

Sorry, I thought it was a silent one.

No, the other rule...

I'm taking you to the doctor.

The other rule is no fighting.

Well, I had a very productive day! Thanks for asking.

I had new realty signs printed

and you know that house no one can sell?

It's getting a lot of buzz!

Do you need Ollie and I to come to tomorrow's showing

and pretend to be your perfect children?

Oh. Thanks. I'm good.

Going with a new plan.

Workin' solo.

Solo? Did I imagine those two kids?

I gotta stop eating so many crayons.

Wait, what is this?

[gasps]

There they are!

I don't know what's going on.

Come on, Ollie.

I've got a plan to teach Mom a lesson.

But first, Mom's getting a mustache.

What are you doing?

I want the last piece of chicken.

-Let go! -You let go!

Stop it! We know this isn't about your mom's chicken.

It's like eating a tire!

The only way you can save the rink is if you work together.

I never thought I'd say this,

but Fred may actually have a point.

Yeah, working apart has just made things worse.

We only have 24 hours to figure this out.

Back to being a team?

How do we keep the rink open?

Think, Cooper, think.

Catch, Cooper, catch.

Check this out.

I might have a way to take down Bonafonte!

[announcer] Up next, from North Plains,

we have Bobby Bonafonte, AKA "The Sapphire Flame."

The Sapphire Flame?

Wow. He sure looks happy out there.

[announcer] And he now sets up for his signature jump,

the "Double Bonafonte."

Oh, my word, we have a crack on the ice!

Well, I think we have our answer to why he hates the rink.

Shoot.

Millions of people have already laughed at this video.

We can't even use it to humiliate him.

-No, but we can-- -Watch it again?

He tore his pants, of course we're watching it again.

But we can also use it to remind him of that smile he had out on the ice.

How is reliving his worst moment going to make him change his mind about closing the rink?

Remember when we were younger,

you fell off your bike and didn't want to ride it anymore?

So I rode it myself--

up and down the sidewalk for hours.

You made me feel like I was missing out on something.

And then you got back on your bike.

That's what we're gonna do for Bobby--

remind him how much he loves skating.

But that was riding a bike.

What are you gonna do,

put on a pair of figure skates and a sparkly outfit?

Cami...

that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

Now find me some blue satin and five hundred sequins.

This town needs a hero.

Alright, last free skate, you mindless sheep.

Doors close in 30 minutes.

Forever!

What do you think you're doing?

Oh, hello.

Don't mind me, I'm just warming up for the Double Bonafonte.

Someone lied about having good memories here.

[whispering] I saw the video.

Oh, so what are you gonna call me,

Bobby Butt-afonte?

Save your breath, I've heard them all.

It's not about the rip.

[whispering] I saw your smile.

This could be you.

[whispering] It should be you.

Stop whispering, you're creeping me out.

Hey, you're not allowed in here.

I'm guessing that thing's not allowed in here either.

With one call, I could have all his friends in here.

Can't build a shopping center

if you have a serious rodent problem.

What do you want, annoying girl?

You're going to watch my brother

remind you how much you loved to skate.

If it doesn't work, we'll leave you alone.

Fine. The Ice Whisperer has five minutes.

Prepare to be inspired.

I'm just warming up.

One thing that makes this neighborhood perfect

is that we're all very friendly and welcoming.

Hey, everyone.

Go away! I mean, hi.

Oh, hello, Mrs. Wrather.

Care to introduce us?

Yes, of course.

This is, uh...

Um...

The next door neighbors.

I'm Lily Van Fruitcup. And my little brother--

Fart Doctor.

Yup, those are the names your mother gave you.

And what a wonderful mother she is.

She would never do something shady like,

say, replace us with actors.

That's a weird thing to say.

Thanks for stopping by.

Oh, we're not leaving.

Mom wanted to come in and say hi.

[Charlotte] Mom!

Hey, Mom! Can I have a snack?

Sure, have some cheese.

Bet you can't finish the can in one pull.

Some people won't let you have a whole can of cheese

because it might keep you from pooping for a week.

So, uh, this place have cameras or what?

Slow down, Karen.

We're here to give my mom a taste of her own medicine,

not make her lose a sale.

Got it. Oh. These are free, right?

So, Mom, you were gonna teach us how to drive, right?

Nothin' to teach.

Fire it up and try to stay off the sidewalk.

Nope, uh-uh, I'm shutting this down.

You win.

These aren't my real kids, they're hired actors.

Fruitcup and Fart Man are mine.

A little respect. It's Doctor.

I just wanted to pretend my family was perfect,

but clearly we're not.

Sorry.

Don't be sorry, we love this neighborhood.

But our kids are such nightmares,

we thought they'd stick out.

Looks like they'll fit right in.

We'll take it.

Works for me.

Um, whoever that is,

she's taking the coffee maker.

Get that back!

Look at him skate, folks.

Such grace, such poise--

[screaming]

Is this bringing back any good memories?

Nope.

Then I'm gonna keep skating.

You play hockey. What's wrong?

I'm out of my element.

The figure skates,

the spins, the sequins.

Okay, I'm kind of liking the sequins.

I'm a disco ball.

No... Just... No. And you need to stop whatever this is because it's not working.

Cooper doesn't stop.

It's time to bring out our secret weapon.

[whispering] The Double Bonafonte.

Just because you whisper it, doesn't mean you can do it!

This sportscaster has never seen courage like this!

Ladies and gentlemen,

Cooper Wrather will now attempt

the Double Bonafonte.

He can't pull that off!

He's gonna butcher my signature move!

Wee! I'm The Sapphire Flame!

There's no "wee" in the Double Bonafonte.

Whoa!

This is gonna be great when I stream it to the world.

Put that away.

I will not see the Double Bonafonte tarnished again!

Time to show them how it's done.

It still fits.

Does it?

Twin Flames? North Plains is alive tonight!

Tag out, kid.

and watch the real Sapphire Flame light it up.

Look at him on the ice,

The Sapphire Flame has finally come home.

[Fred] Here comes the approach...

[applause]

-He did it! -Amazing!

I'm alive again!

Long live Dinky's!

Congratulations, looks like your big heart saved the rink.

Hey, it took the hammer to get him to stay here and watch.

This is one sports reporter

who's not afraid to cry on the job.

That was magnificent!

Hey, kids.

I found an even better family to put on my signs.

-It looks great, Mom! -Yeah, it does.

I'm mid-sneeze!

Don't worry, sweetie, no one looks at billboards.

So anyway, I believe we have

an ice rink staying open to celebrate?

[all] Woohoo!

And I only bruised two ribs!

[all] Woohoo!

Why do I keep having this feeling like I forgot something?

So we meet again, Captain Claw.

Ooh, a toy raccoon!

You're so lifelike.

It's happening!

I'm actually gonna win!

Come here, little guy.

I did it!

-[raccoon snarling] -[screaming]

The raccoon.

That's what I forgot.

Whee!