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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,921 Previously on WandaVision... 2 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,763 We are an unusual couple, ya know? 3 00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:09,344 My wife and her flying saucers. 4 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:12,046 My husband and his indestructible head. 5 00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:14,887 Hello, dear. I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right. 6 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,733 You're like a walking computer. 7 00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,348 What? I most certainly am not. 8 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:21,265 Dinner with Mr. Hart and his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart. 9 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,427 What brought you here? 10 00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:24,804 - How long have you been married? - Why did you come here? 11 00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:26,106 Damn it, why? 12 00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:28,735 Stop it. Stop it. 13 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,573 Vision, help him. 14 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,696 What was that? 15 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,420 Wanda? 16 00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:28,514 Yes, dear? 17 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,179 Are you using your powers to turn on the light? 18 00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:32,628 Yes, dear. 19 00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,468 Allow me, sweetheart. 20 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,100 What do you see? 21 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,809 Only your lovely rose bushes. 22 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:45,855 That's all? 23 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,229 Are you using your night vision, Vision? 24 00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:50,487 I assure you, my love, I see nothing amiss. 25 00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:52,819 You have absolutely no reason to be frightened... 26 00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:58,736 You were saying? 27 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,786 Actually, I did overhear a couple of lads at work 28 00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:04,962 remarking on a few unsavory characters settling in the neighborhood. 29 00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:08,002 Now, who knows what those ne'er-do-wells might be up to? 30 00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:10,256 Robbing houses, vandalizing property. 31 00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:13,009 Walking through walls, moving objects without touching them. 32 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:16,641 Wanda, darling, you can't be suggesting my colleagues were referring to us. 33 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,644 One of us should really determine the source of that sound. 34 00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:26,477 Yes, one of us should. 35 00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:29,481 Oh, this is getting ridiculous. 36 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:31,991 I'm going to take a look. 37 00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:33,819 Oh, God! Darling! 38 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,200 Well, I think we handled that well. 39 00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:43,406 Yes, I must say I'm rather proud of myself. 40 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:47,537 And look how you seized on the opportunity to redecorate. 41 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:50,206 - This is better, isn't it? - Mmm. 42 00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:54,295 Wanda, darling? 43 00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:55,553 Yes, dear? 44 00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,264 Get the light. 45 00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:17,074 WandaVision! 46 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,170 WandaVision! 47 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:43,100 WandaVision Wa-WandaVision. 48 00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:45,642 WandaVision Wa-WandaVision. 49 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,686 WandaVision Wa-WandaVision. 50 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,400 WandaVision! 51 00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:57,909 Ladies and gentlemen, for my final trick, 52 00:03:57,988 --> 00:04:02,278 I bring you the Cabinet of Mysteries. 53 00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:07,708 - Darling, that's your cue. - You said, "Cabinet of Mysteries?" 54 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:11,289 I said, "The Cabinet of Mysteries." 55 00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:14,087 Oh, that's my cue. Ooh! 56 00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,511 Holy Toledo! 57 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:20,050 Darling, do all the other acts in the talent show 58 00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:22,345 have such elaborate props? 59 00:04:23,305 --> 00:04:24,555 Are you kidding? 60 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,230 Fred and Linda are building a moat 61 00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:29,138 and a fully-functioning portcullis and no one even knows why. 62 00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:30,308 Let's keep going. 63 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,355 Yes, yes. Where was I? Um... 64 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:36,069 Watch closely as I, Illusion, Master of Enigma, 65 00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:39,781 make my captivating assistant, Glamour, disappear. 66 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,452 You really are very dashing. 67 00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:47,116 Mmm, thank you, darling. 68 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,214 Fear not, Glamour. 69 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:53,839 For I, Illusion, vow to bring you back exactly as you are. 70 00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:57,592 Abracadabra! 71 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:02,388 Ta-ta... 72 00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:09,691 Yes, um, Wanda, you're not at all worried 73 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:13,728 that the audience might just see through this little charade? 74 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,404 Well, that's the whole point. 75 00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:17,864 In a real magic act, everything is fake. 76 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:23,529 Darling, the talent show fundraiser is the most important event of the season 77 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:26,405 and it's our neighborly duty to participate. 78 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:30,003 Plus, it's our chance to appear as normal as possible while doing so. 79 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,460 Well, I don't think that should be a problem. 80 00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:34,705 This is our home now. 81 00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:38,206 I want us to fit in. 82 00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:41,842 Oh, darling, we do. We shall. 83 00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:45,181 And we're gonna knock their socks off, 84 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:49,472 especially with you wearing this. 85 00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:51,688 Oh, that's actually the rest of your costume. 86 00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:52,768 Oh! 87 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,060 Well, I better get going. 88 00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:58,278 If I'm gonna make the planning committee meeting. 89 00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,938 That's me off as well, actually. 90 00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,058 There's a gathering of the neighborhood watch 91 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,660 at the public library. 92 00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:05,949 And after last night's excitement, 93 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:09,373 I want to make sure this town's security is up to snuff. 94 00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:11,083 That's a swell idea. 95 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:15,249 You tell those tree branches who's boss. 96 00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:17,957 Would you look at us? 97 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,915 Wanda and Vision, Westview fitter-inners. 98 00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:24,885 I'll see you at curtain call. 99 00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:38,827 Look, it's the star o' the show. 100 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:39,997 Agnes. 101 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:42,958 I'm sorry. What did you say? 102 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:46,126 Oh, I brought my pet rabbit. For your magic act. 103 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:50,426 Yes, of course! Thank you, Agnes. 104 00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:53,312 We will take good care of him. 105 00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:56,060 Señor Scratchy just loves the stage. 106 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:59,403 He played baby Jesus in last year's Christmas pageant. 107 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,105 Oh. 108 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,112 Oh, morning, Dennis. 109 00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:06,614 Morning, Agnes. 110 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:07,775 Stick 'em up. 111 00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,986 Don't shoot. I'm just a messenger. 112 00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,744 Pew-pew! 113 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,201 Mmm. 114 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,457 - Shall we? - Oh, we shall. 115 00:08:24,463 --> 00:08:28,473 So, are you ready to meet Queen Cul de Sac and her Merry Homemakers? 116 00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:30,760 Agnes, Dottie can't be as bad as you say. 117 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:34,974 Hmm, well, you'll notice her roses bloom under penalty of death. 118 00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:41,402 Wanda, can I give you a bit of friendly advice? 119 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,190 Is it about the way how I'm dressed? 120 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:45,233 Yes, but it's too late for that. 121 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,453 Dottie is the key to everything in this town. 122 00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:52,950 Country club memberships, parties, school admissions... 123 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,243 Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. 124 00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:58,907 You get in with Dottie and it'll be smooth sailing from here on out. 125 00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:02,577 Just mind your P's and Q's and you're gonna do just fine. 126 00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:05,748 Or maybe I could just be myself? More or less? 127 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,604 Oh, Wanda, that's good. 128 00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:18,481 Everybody, hurry up please. 129 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:22,266 Hiya, Dottie! Your roses are divine. 130 00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:24,688 Well, thank you. 131 00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:36,662 The Rotary Club is finishing the stage set-up as we speak. 132 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,043 They've given the gazebo a fresh coat of paint 133 00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:42,961 and will be installing the final decorations all through the town square. 134 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,921 And if you recognize the antique footlights, 135 00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:47,132 it's because they're from my store. 136 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:48,712 And the chairs? 137 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,931 I'm sorry, Dottie. I didn't ask about the chairs. 138 00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:57,971 So you better not ask me if you can chair any committees in the future. 139 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:03,480 The devil's in the details, Bev. 140 00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:05,942 That's not the only place he is. 141 00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:08,153 As you all know, the talent show 142 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:11,073 is the sole fundraiser for Westview Elementary. 143 00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:12,203 This might help. 144 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,909 In the eight years since I founded our little club, 145 00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:18,240 this event has gotten bigger and better every season. 146 00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:21,117 Say, those pants are peachy keen. 147 00:10:21,205 --> 00:10:22,745 Do you really think so? 148 00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:25,081 The other ladies are in skirts. I was worried. 149 00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:27,167 We only have a few hours until show time, 150 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:30,422 so a little less cross chatter and a little more focus. 151 00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:32,423 Okay. 152 00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:35,468 Those little boys and girls are counting on us. 153 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:38,352 All of this is for the children. 154 00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:39,770 "For the children." 155 00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:42,391 "For the children." 156 00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:49,821 So, I want you all to give yourselves a big hand... 157 00:10:52,528 --> 00:10:55,448 ...at the appropriate time, of course. 158 00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:58,991 But first let's review event etiquette. 159 00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:01,946 Dress code is upscale garden party... 160 00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:05,117 The only reason I didn't clap is because I'm afraid to move. 161 00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:06,287 Yeah. 162 00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:08,625 I actually don't know what I'm doing here. 163 00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:11,920 I'm starting to feel that way myself. I'm Wanda. 164 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:16,255 - I'm, uh... Geraldine. - Hi. 165 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,303 And I'm irritated. 166 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:24,104 Tickets for tonight are completely sold out. 167 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,024 Now, you can clap. 168 00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,271 And stop. 169 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,360 Really, how is anybody doing this sober? 170 00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,252 - Let's say green. - Yeah. 171 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:47,080 I mean, the other side could be dirt. 172 00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,875 Pardon me. Is this the neighborhood watch meeting? 173 00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:53,421 Oh, hiya, Vision. 174 00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:55,545 Didn't expect to see you here. 175 00:11:56,842 --> 00:12:00,762 This is sort of a "members only" type deal. 176 00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:03,636 Ah! Certainly. Right. Well... 177 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,851 I'll just stay here and be as quiet as a church mouse 178 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:09,055 till you open up the floor for new business. 179 00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:12,150 Well, in truth, we were just getting to new business. 180 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:15,192 Oh, splendid! Could you tell me how often you rotate security patrols? 181 00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:17,697 Do you interface directly with local law enforcement? 182 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:20,029 What are your protocols for threats such as burglary, 183 00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,445 graffiti, and reckless driving? 184 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:24,543 - No, Vision. - I know these are indeed grave matters. 185 00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:28,000 "New business" actually means another round of Danish. 186 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:31,539 Raspberry or cheese-filled? 187 00:12:31,627 --> 00:12:33,957 Oh, neither for me, thank you. I don't eat food. 188 00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:44,222 What I mean to say is that I don't eat food in between meals but at mealtimes. 189 00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:46,888 I'm a regular eating machine. 190 00:12:49,895 --> 00:12:52,305 Hey, fellas. Vision here has got a point. 191 00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:56,277 Now, listen up. I got some top secret intelligence for you. 192 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:57,400 Oh, excellent. 193 00:12:58,153 --> 00:12:59,913 Now, you know how Johnson's been braggin' 194 00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:01,778 about that treehouse he built for his kids? 195 00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:02,985 Yeah. 196 00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:05,082 It's a prefab job. 197 00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,660 That blockhead can't even swing a hammer. 198 00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:10,620 I can do you one better. 199 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,127 You know those bowling trophies Arthur's always polishing? 200 00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:17,343 He bought 'em all at a yard sale in Hackensack. 201 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:20,342 I knew it. I've never once seen him down at the lanes. 202 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:25,465 I too have some top secret gossip to share. 203 00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:30,097 Norm here's a Communist. 204 00:13:40,946 --> 00:13:42,156 Vision, you're a real cut-up. 205 00:13:42,239 --> 00:13:44,529 You know, I always thought you were kind of a square. 206 00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:48,076 Me? No, I'm as round as they come. 207 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:51,081 Hey, care for a stick o' Big Red? 208 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,834 Well, hold on there a second. 209 00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:55,206 Didn't you hear the man? He doesn't eat food. 210 00:13:55,294 --> 00:13:56,844 Is gum food? 211 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,550 Well, my understanding is that it's purely for mastication. 212 00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:01,969 No, I don't do that. 213 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:05,889 Well, when in Westview... Cheers. 214 00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:09,314 Who knew you were such a funny guy? 215 00:14:09,391 --> 00:14:13,901 And to think you came here all hot and bothered about protocols and nonsense. 216 00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:15,939 We actually thought you were serious. 217 00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:28,037 He's funny. All right, so, back to this barbeque. 218 00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:38,208 That is why you never do a seating chart on an empty stomach. 219 00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:41,335 Golly, you're a whiz at all this committee stuff, Dottie. 220 00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:45,593 Thank you for choosing me to help you clean up today. I feel so lucky. 221 00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,217 You are. 222 00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:53,774 I can't help but wonder if you and I 223 00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:56,192 haven't gotten off on the wrong foot, Dottie. 224 00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:59,691 And I would like to correct that if I can. 225 00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:01,485 And how would you do that? 226 00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:07,072 I've heard things about you. 227 00:15:09,493 --> 00:15:11,203 You and your husband. 228 00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:15,247 Well, I don't know what you've been told, 229 00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:21,674 but I assure you I don't mean anyone any harm. 230 00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:25,257 I don't believe you. 231 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:34,310 Wanda. Wanda, can you read me, over? 232 00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:37,437 - Wanda? - Who is that? 233 00:15:37,521 --> 00:15:38,731 Wanda? 234 00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,608 Who are you? 235 00:15:44,695 --> 00:15:47,155 Wanda? 236 00:15:47,239 --> 00:15:49,199 Wanda. 237 00:15:49,283 --> 00:15:51,873 Who is doing this to you, Wanda? 238 00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:55,542 Wanda? Wanda? Wan... 239 00:15:59,877 --> 00:16:00,957 Dottie! 240 00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:07,046 You... Oh! 241 00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,225 Pop quiz, Wanda. 242 00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:19,692 How does a housewife get a bloodstain out of white linen? 243 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,534 By doing it herself. 244 00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:37,287 They say a man is never fully-dressed without two important accessories. 245 00:16:37,372 --> 00:16:39,042 His special lady... 246 00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:43,713 and his Strücker. 247 00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:52,759 Strücker. He'll make time for you. 248 00:17:09,780 --> 00:17:12,620 Glad I don't have to follow this guy. 249 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,239 Huh? What? 250 00:17:14,910 --> 00:17:16,370 Oh, but you're gonna be great. 251 00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:20,292 What time is it now? 252 00:17:20,374 --> 00:17:22,584 Mmm, two minutes after the last time you asked. 253 00:17:23,836 --> 00:17:25,456 I don't know where he could be. 254 00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:32,218 Oh, is that him? 255 00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:35,562 Well, it looks like he's got a little hitch in his giddy-up. 256 00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:36,929 Whoa! 257 00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:44,651 Wanda, my little cabbage, you look smashing! 258 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,151 Whoa! 259 00:17:49,695 --> 00:17:50,775 - Vis. - Hmm. 260 00:17:50,863 --> 00:17:52,203 - Where have you been? - Oh. 261 00:17:52,281 --> 00:17:54,741 Uh, well, me and the boys were playing 262 00:17:54,825 --> 00:17:57,615 a rather thrilling game of horses with shoes. 263 00:17:57,703 --> 00:17:58,873 No, that's not it. 264 00:17:58,954 --> 00:18:00,834 Shoe horses! No. 265 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,794 Ah! Horse's shoes. 266 00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:06,995 Listen, something strange happened with Dottie. 267 00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:11,967 Well, something strange happened before that, too. It's hard to explain. 268 00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:14,550 I was just playing with his shoes. 269 00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:16,256 What is going on? 270 00:18:16,346 --> 00:18:17,426 You are! 271 00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:18,724 Huh? 272 00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:22,225 I want to thank you all for coming out 273 00:18:22,311 --> 00:18:26,611 to support Westview Elementary, "For the children." 274 00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,900 "For the children." 275 00:18:28,984 --> 00:18:30,194 And for our final act... 276 00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:34,197 I give you, Wanda and Vision. 277 00:18:51,757 --> 00:18:53,297 Hey! Hey! You're up, Cowboy! 278 00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:55,506 What? 279 00:18:56,512 --> 00:18:58,472 Oh! Yeah! I've to go! 280 00:18:59,431 --> 00:19:02,681 Hello, Westview! Good afternoon. 281 00:19:02,768 --> 00:19:04,098 It's so lovely to be... 282 00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:06,646 I'm so sorry. Excuse me. 283 00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:09,940 I am Glamour and this is my delightful assistant, Illusion. 284 00:19:10,025 --> 00:19:14,315 I am Glamour and he's Illusion. 285 00:19:15,906 --> 00:19:17,406 Yeah, what she said. 286 00:19:17,491 --> 00:19:23,621 Today, we will lie to you and yet you will believe our little deceptions 287 00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:25,535 because human beings are easily fooled 288 00:19:25,624 --> 00:19:29,674 due to their limited understanding of the inner workings of the universe. 289 00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:31,133 Flourish! 290 00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:33,263 You just do it, you don't say it out loud, honey. 291 00:19:34,550 --> 00:19:38,390 And now my wife and I will delight 292 00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:41,100 in your dumbstruck little faces. 293 00:19:42,516 --> 00:19:43,766 Flourish! 294 00:19:58,407 --> 00:20:00,987 Ha! See there? He's using a rope. 295 00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:05,326 Wanda, what's... Oh, no! Oh! No! Wanda, please! 296 00:20:05,414 --> 00:20:08,174 - Darling, let me down! - Oh! 297 00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:12,000 I'm feeling pukey! 298 00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:13,417 Ooh! 299 00:20:17,217 --> 00:20:18,587 Uh, what's next? 300 00:20:18,677 --> 00:20:21,927 Oh! Yeah, this is... This is gonna be great! 301 00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:25,100 A staggering feat of strength. 302 00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:34,068 - Ah? - Illusion... Uh... Uh... 303 00:20:35,194 --> 00:20:39,874 - Illusion, Master of Enigma, allow me. - Yeah? 304 00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:42,278 What? 305 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,747 Oh! 306 00:20:46,121 --> 00:20:49,291 Whoops! You weren't supposed to see how we did that trick. 307 00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:53,304 That was my grandmother's piano. 308 00:20:53,921 --> 00:20:58,341 Oh, Sherbert! Yeah, this is my old mate, Sherbert. 309 00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:00,755 Stand up, Sherbert. Say hello to the crowd. 310 00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:02,434 It's Herbert, Herb. 311 00:21:02,513 --> 00:21:06,523 Pipe down, Sherbie, and pick a card. Any card. 312 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,060 Yeah, put it back in the deck. 313 00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:12,234 I'm not looking. All right. Watch this. 314 00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:15,978 Is this your card? 315 00:21:16,777 --> 00:21:18,527 Uh, no. 316 00:21:19,363 --> 00:21:20,743 I beg to differ. 317 00:21:20,822 --> 00:21:21,912 Mmm-mmm. 318 00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:24,660 Really? Is this your card? 319 00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:26,873 - Vision... - Mmm-mmm. 320 00:21:28,038 --> 00:21:31,248 Is this your card? Is this your card? Is this your card? Is this your card? 321 00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:34,463 - Is this your card? - Mmm-mmm. 322 00:21:34,545 --> 00:21:36,505 Argh! Is this your card? Is this your card? 323 00:21:36,588 --> 00:21:37,869 - No. No. No. No. - Is this your card? 324 00:21:37,881 --> 00:21:40,931 Is this your card? Is this your card? Is this your card? Is this your card? 325 00:21:41,009 --> 00:21:42,219 Is this your card? 326 00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:43,512 Oh, it is! 327 00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:44,675 It is what? 328 00:21:44,763 --> 00:21:45,933 It's my card. 329 00:21:46,557 --> 00:21:49,347 Well, pardon me, Herb. Have it back. 330 00:21:50,602 --> 00:21:51,942 Oh, no, you did the trick right. 331 00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:54,570 Well, of course I did the trick right! I'm Illusion! 332 00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:56,568 Flourish! 333 00:22:00,028 --> 00:22:01,908 And now, for my next trick... 334 00:22:01,989 --> 00:22:03,619 Oh, goodness me. 335 00:22:04,408 --> 00:22:05,948 Who stole my hat? 336 00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:07,954 Oh! Oh, stop that rabbit! 337 00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:10,326 I gotta need to pull a hat out of it. 338 00:22:11,623 --> 00:22:14,963 Señor Scratchy's got real star quality, don't you think? 339 00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:18,513 Maybe we leave the poor bunny out this one, shall we? 340 00:22:18,589 --> 00:22:21,299 Well then, I will just have to pull this hat... 341 00:22:22,593 --> 00:22:24,393 ...out of myself. 342 00:22:26,889 --> 00:22:28,019 Vision, no. 343 00:22:28,098 --> 00:22:29,468 I'm doin' it. 344 00:22:31,810 --> 00:22:33,600 Ah-ha! 345 00:22:36,732 --> 00:22:40,362 If only you all knew our secret. 346 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,860 Oh! 347 00:22:43,947 --> 00:22:45,817 Is that how mirrors work? 348 00:22:45,908 --> 00:22:47,158 Shut up, Bev. 349 00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:52,710 And now, ladies and gentlemen, for our grand finale. 350 00:22:53,457 --> 00:22:57,837 I bring you, The Magnet of Crysteries! 351 00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:59,300 The Cabinet of Mysteries! 352 00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:01,719 Yeah, yeah. What she said. 353 00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:05,430 I will now make my wife... 354 00:23:07,262 --> 00:23:08,472 ...disappear. 355 00:23:10,599 --> 00:23:15,479 Are you sure you don't want an audience volunteer named "My husband Ralph?" 356 00:23:21,026 --> 00:23:22,986 No. Abracadabra! 357 00:23:25,739 --> 00:23:28,329 - Uh, sweetheart? - Yeah? 358 00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:31,159 - Hi. - Oh. 359 00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:35,075 What's in the box? 360 00:23:35,165 --> 00:23:38,745 What's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the box? 361 00:23:38,836 --> 00:23:40,666 Yeah, what's in the box? 362 00:23:40,754 --> 00:23:42,924 What's in the box? What's in the box? 363 00:23:43,006 --> 00:23:46,126 What's in the box? What's in the box? 364 00:23:52,933 --> 00:23:53,983 Oh! 365 00:23:54,977 --> 00:23:56,187 Oh, yes! 366 00:23:56,270 --> 00:23:57,350 Flourish. 367 00:24:04,695 --> 00:24:06,195 Let's get outta here. 368 00:24:07,030 --> 00:24:08,740 Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 369 00:24:08,824 --> 00:24:10,584 - I'm so stupid. - Vis? Vis, it's all right. 370 00:24:10,659 --> 00:24:12,440 It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. 371 00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:13,792 But what is going on with you? 372 00:24:13,871 --> 00:24:17,921 I have no idea. I've been feeling weirdy all day. 373 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,670 Okay. Okay. Okay. 374 00:24:20,419 --> 00:24:22,839 Oh! 375 00:24:31,972 --> 00:24:34,392 Would you look at that? 376 00:24:34,474 --> 00:24:36,644 That really gummed up my works, didn't it? 377 00:24:36,727 --> 00:24:38,347 Hmm. 378 00:24:40,022 --> 00:24:42,522 I'm not as funny without it, am I? 379 00:24:42,608 --> 00:24:45,278 Well, you're back to yourself and that's all I care about. 380 00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:47,400 Now, let's get out of here before Dottie 381 00:24:47,487 --> 00:24:50,947 and the planning committee string us up for ruining the show. 382 00:24:59,291 --> 00:25:01,921 You two, stop right there. 383 00:25:05,797 --> 00:25:09,087 Nothing like what you two just did up here 384 00:25:09,176 --> 00:25:12,886 has ever happened in the history of our talent show. 385 00:25:14,014 --> 00:25:17,484 Dottie, we are so... 386 00:25:17,559 --> 00:25:18,689 Hilarious. 387 00:25:21,688 --> 00:25:25,108 That was the most hilarious act we've ever seen. 388 00:25:25,192 --> 00:25:26,442 Wouldn't you all agree? 389 00:25:27,194 --> 00:25:28,364 Yeah. 390 00:25:30,531 --> 00:25:32,321 Oh, yes. 391 00:25:32,991 --> 00:25:34,791 You two, come on up. Come on. 392 00:25:37,412 --> 00:25:40,172 On behalf of the planning committee, 393 00:25:40,249 --> 00:25:41,459 I would like to award you 394 00:25:41,542 --> 00:25:45,552 with the inaugural Comedy Performance of the Year. 395 00:25:45,629 --> 00:25:47,049 Oh, thank you. 396 00:26:03,063 --> 00:26:04,613 - I have to ask. - Hmm. 397 00:26:04,690 --> 00:26:09,030 One second, I'm backstage and in the next, I'm in a dark cubby hole. 398 00:26:09,111 --> 00:26:10,401 How'd you do it? 399 00:26:10,487 --> 00:26:12,527 Oh, a magician never reveals his secrets. 400 00:26:12,614 --> 00:26:14,324 He leaves that to his assistant. 401 00:26:14,408 --> 00:26:15,988 And she's not talking. 402 00:26:17,244 --> 00:26:20,164 I had a feeling you'd say that. 403 00:26:24,168 --> 00:26:25,248 "For the children!" 404 00:26:25,335 --> 00:26:27,545 "For the children!" 405 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,930 You were tremendous, Glamour. 406 00:26:36,013 --> 00:26:38,643 As were you, Illusion. 407 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:43,900 I don't know what I was so worried about. 408 00:26:43,979 --> 00:26:47,399 It wasn't so hard to fit in after all. 409 00:26:47,482 --> 00:26:50,402 And all we had to do was be ourselves. 410 00:26:50,485 --> 00:26:52,855 Well, with a few modifications. 411 00:26:53,488 --> 00:26:56,698 - And it was all for the children. - For the children. 412 00:26:57,534 --> 00:27:00,004 Well, I think the children might need some popcorn. 413 00:27:01,371 --> 00:27:02,461 Wanda. 414 00:27:02,539 --> 00:27:03,709 Hmm, what? 415 00:27:08,420 --> 00:27:11,800 Vision... Is this really happening? 416 00:27:14,927 --> 00:27:16,467 Yes, my love. 417 00:27:16,553 --> 00:27:18,263 It's really happening. 418 00:27:20,599 --> 00:27:25,729 If it's that damn tree again, I am going to rip it out by the roots! 419 00:27:33,070 --> 00:27:34,700 I don't see anything. 420 00:27:46,917 --> 00:27:48,127 What is that? 421 00:27:55,634 --> 00:27:57,224 Wanda. 422 00:28:11,942 --> 00:28:13,192 No. 423 00:28:22,202 --> 00:28:26,712 Vision... Is this really happening? 424 00:28:28,417 --> 00:28:29,877 Yes, my love. 425 00:28:31,378 --> 00:28:33,008 It's really happening. 426 00:28:46,268 --> 00:28:47,268 Vision... 427 00:29:20,677 --> 00:29:23,887 Wanda? Who's doing this to you, Wanda? 428 00:29:24,598 --> 00:29:25,638 Wanda? 31096

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