All language subtitles for Sonny With A Chance s01e01 Sketchy Beginnings.eng

Now let's get back to
"so random!"

okay, here's the plan.

When that girl gets
out of class,

you are gonna ask
her to the dance.

Are you nervous?

nah.

When he gets nervous,
better bring your mop ?

♪ it's not on porpoise
when he blows his top ♪

♪ he's dolphin boy! ♪

who da mammal?!

I thought you said
you weren't nervous, man.

Of course I am.
I mean, look at her.

A girl like that would never
go for a guy like me.

I'm half dolphin

and she's all woman.

Come on, man,
at least give it a shot.

I know you can do this.

You're right, I can.

But I'd better
empty myself first.

You done?

Almost.

Now I'm done.

All right.

Now I'm done.

Just in time,
'cause here she comes.

Randy, dolphin boy.

Caitlin, I was
wondering if you'd like

to go with me to the dance.

Dolphin boy, of course, I'll
go to the dance with you.

Who doesn't love dolphins?

Yes!

You got a date!

Who da mammal?!

See you saturday, dolphin boy.

Until then, milady.

♪ when he gets nervous,
better bring your mop ♪

♪ it's not on porpoise
when he blows his top ♪

♪ he's dolphin boy! ♪

who da mammal?!

And don't forget,
next week your favorite

sketch comedy show "so random!
" welcomes a brand-new cast member--

sonny munroe!

That's me!

I guess dreams
really do come true.

♪ off to the races,
I'm going places ♪

♪ might be a long shot,
not gonna waste it ♪

♪ this is the big break
and it's calling my name ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ so far, so great,
get with it ♪

♪ at least that's
how I see it ♪

♪ having a dream
is just the beginning ♪

♪ so far, so great,
believe it ♪

♪ can't take away
this feeling ♪

♪ taking a ride
with chance on my side ♪

♪ yeah, I can't wait ♪

♪ so far, so great ♪

♪ so far, so great ♪

I can't believe
I'm really here. Mom!

Aah! This is
so exciting!

- all right, come here, hold still.
- Okay.

Mom, stop it, stop it.
Cut it out.

We don't need more
sun block. I'm inside.

All right, I'm sorry.
It's not every day

that I hand my beautiful
daughter over to show business.

Look, mom,
we talked about this.

Show business is not
going to change me.

You've got a big head.

I do not.

I'm the same girl that I was
back home in wisconsin.

With a much bigger head.

My head is the exact
same size--

whoa! I do have
a big head.

Cool.

There she is.
There's my new star.

- mr. Pike.
- Please, it's marshall.

Connie, we are so thrilled to
have sonny join our family.

And I promise you, she's
in very good hands here.

Good because you know what
we do to people in wisconsin

who make promises
they can't keep.

You make 'em into cheese.

I can see where sonny
gets her sense of humor.

Actually, I get it from my dad.
she's not kidding.

- but she is hovering.
- All right.

All right, I can t take a hint.
someone wants their mom to leave.

Okay, come here before I go.

Now I know I have said this
a million times, but--

don't talk to strangers.

No... but yes.

Don't swim after eating?

No... but yes.

Don't skateboard
with a sucker in your mouth.

I am trying to tell you
how proud I am of you.

I just couldn't be prouder.

You just put a little bit more
sun block on me, didn't you?

No... but yes.

Bye.

Well, here we are, kiddo.

This is the prop house.

Oh, my gosh.
This is so cool.

I've read about this place.

Wow, this is where
the cast hangs out.

This is the gnome
from the gnome sketch.

And that's the sarcophagus

from "the mummy
dearest" sketch.

Wow!
And that's a pink hat

that I've never
really seen before.

Yep, one day there'll be props
in here from sketches you're in,

or maybe one of your hats.

Anyway, just know
as executive producer,

I'm always here for you.

Woman over p.a.
: marshall, your mother is on line four.

Take a message.

- and five.
- I gotta go.

Don't you knock?

Sorry, I didn't realize
anyone was here.

But you're zora and I'm sonny.
I'm new.

Obviously, otherwise
you would have knocked.

Now if you don't mind.

Come on.

You and your shortcuts, man.

How come you get
to be the chicken anyway?

Because I have more
of a chicken body,

and you have more
of an egg body.

It's not fair.

I always have to play the
thing that comes out of you.

No no, I come out
of you sometimes.

Oh, please.
You played the mother,

I played the baby.

You played the stomach,

I played the barf.

I thought you liked
being the barf, bro.

I love being the barf.

It's the funniest thing
that comes out of you.

But you know...

- hey, guys.
- Hello, there.

Nico.

But you knew that.

Grady, but you knew that.

And I'm sonny,

but I knew that.

But I knew that.

Wait.

You're that funny girl
from the internet.

And you're the barf
and you're the stomach.

That was an amazing sketch.

Oh, my gosh. I loved your...
( imitates vomiting )

and your...
( imitates vomiting )

good times.
Good times.

It's easy for you to say.

You weren't playing the toilet.

Hey, everyone.
Did you see?

I'm on the cover
of "tween weekly" again!

Yeah, yeah,
we're all on the cover.

Really? 'Cause all
I see is me.

Hi, tawni.

I just wanted to say
I am such a huge fan.

And honestly, you've been
a role model to me

and my
friends back in wisconsin.

We kind of feel like you're one of us.
hi, I'm sonny.

Why am I being touched?

Sorry.
I'm a hugger.

Small world, so am I.

Good, I see
you've met everyone.

Yes, and I just wanted to say

it is such an honor being
here working with you guys.

Marshall,

what does she mean
"working with us"?

Well, she's our
newest cast member, tawn.

You're remember?
we said goodbye to mandy on our last show?

I remember the goodbye.

I just didn't think there
was gonna be a hello.

What are you talking about?

He showed us her website.

Yeah, and we all
got her photo, remember?

Don't need another girl!
I'm the funny girl.

And the pretty one!

Nope, nope, don't remember.

But welcome aboard.

Marshall:
That's the attitude, tawn.

You two are gonna
be fast friends.

Hey, as a matter of fact, you
could give sonny the tour.

I would love that.

Let's go someone-y.

It's sonny.

My first day in hollywood and
I've already got a nickname.

I've been
in hollywood 40 years.

Never had a nickname.

Okay, the tour is starting.
Keep up.

This is where I get my snacks.

This is where I learn.

This is a camera,
which loves me.

And finally,

this is where I do
my costume changes,

my makeup,
my preshow chillaxin.

Cool.

So where do I do
my preshow chillaxin?

I'm sorry.
This concludes our tour.

Wow, you're a fast changer.

And you're a slow leaver.

You think I'm a slow leaver?
you should have seen my mom this morning.

I couldn't get her to leave.

You wouldn't happen to know where
my dressing room is, do you?

Wow, I don't wanna interrupt
your workout or anything,

but you got quite
a wingspan there.

You know, if I didn't
know any better,

I'd think you were trying
to kick me in the face.

Whoa, zora smells trouble.

What's up there?

Right now best seat
in the house.

As you were.

You know, for some reason,
she prefers to live up there

like a common bat, rather
than down here with me.

Yeah, that's a real
brain teaser.

Just wanted to see how
you were settling in.

Why is there gym equipment
on sonny's side of the room?

This is my side of the room?

This is her side of the room?

Don't you remember?
I was very clear when mandy left

that sonny would get
this side of the room.

Nope, doesn't ring a bell.

All right, well, we'll get all this
equipment back to the studio gym

and let's give sonny
some space.

I can feel
the chemistry already.

No no, it's okay.
I can make this work.

I'm a make-do kind of person,
so watch me make-do.

I'll just-- I'll put
my jacket right here.

And I'll just
chillax right here.

- my make-do isn't
really working, is it?

No.

You wanna talk about it?

Sure, grab a seat
and scooch on over

comfortable, roomie?

Less so by the minute.

Let's think of the studio
as a school.

I'm the head cheerleader
and you're the new kid.

And you're all gung-ho and
wanting to join the squad.

You've got all these great ideas
and you're full of enthusiasm.

Yeah, that's right. I am.

Well, knock it off.

You're not wanted on the squad.

But I'm already on the squad.

Yes yes,

but we don't need you
on the squad.

Do we, pootie two shoes?

Pootie two shoes?

And we certainly don't
wanna hear your cheers.

Not your "sis," or your
"boom" or your "bah."

but what if I have
a really awesome "bah"?

I don't care if it's the
greatest "bah" since--

since sheep independence day.

So stay on your side,
don't touch my stuff

and keep out of my spotlight.

Okay, then.
Let's go rehearse.

If you could talk,
would you scream?

You happy now?
Exact same costumes.

Nobody's coming out
of anybody's anything.

- how come your wings are bigger?
- Your antennas are longer.

The good thing is you both
have the same sized brains.

Okay, people,

let's start rehearsing
tawni's queen bee sketch.

Hey, heard you got the whole
"sis, boom, bah" speech.

People are talking
about that already?

Oh, no no.
I was eavesdropping.

It's kind of my thing right now.
that and revenge.

Wanna get some?

No, I'm good.
But thanks.

This is tawni's sketch.
She's the queen bee.

I'm just the worker bee.
So I'm just gonna lay low,

stay out of the way
and mind my own buzzness.

All right, places, everybody.

The good knight's approach.

Hello, good knights.

Good night?
but it's 2:00 in the afternoon.

No no, not good night,

- good knight.
- Silence!

Which is exactly what we're gonna hear
if the audience watches this sketch.

Stop, cut!
This isn't working.

I agree.

What is everybody
else doing wrong?

Kids, this sketch...

...stinks on ice.

What are we gonna do?

Maybe the problem is
there's one too many bees.

No, that's not it.

We gotta think bigger,

bolder...

...some other
"b" word.

Boogers!

Not boogers.
It has to be bee related.

hand down. Ahem.

nico: I got it!

What we need is pool
filled with honey.

Whenever you say you got it,

you never got it.

How about you, new girl,
you got something?

Well, I might got something.

Go on.

Yes, please. sprinkle us with
your wisconsin funny dust.

Well, what if tawni
was like a clumsy bee,

you know, like a bumbling bee?

And then we could get
distracted by things that,

I don't know, bees get
distracted by, like flowers.

- bzzzzz!
- Oh, yeah!

'cause you know
we love the flowers.

That's terrible.

Terribly good.
What else you got?

Well, what else do bees love?

- they love to sting things.
- Yeah.

Yes, okay, well, what if a
really old lady walks in

with a really huge butt?

That's great,
because old lady butts

make great targets.

So she walks over.

And then she sees a penny.
"oh, look, I found a penny."

"oh, look, I found a penny."

all-you-can-sting
buttfet is open.

That's beautiful.
I love it.

Queen bee's out.
bumbling bee is in. lunch.

You wanna buzz over

and get some lunch?

Honey, look at this.
Oranges, avocados,

tube socks.

All purchased
from a guy standing

on a freeway off-ramp.

I didn't even have to
get out of the car.

What a town!

Well, at least one
of us had a good day.

Oh, come on.
Was it that bad?

Let me put it this way:

You slapping sunscreen
on my face was the highlight.

Marshall's making me do this bee
sketch with tawni and she hates me.

Do you want me to write a note?

Mom!

Look, come here.

Honey, when chasing
your dreams,

there's always gonna
be bumps on the road.

Like that deer
we hit in colorado.

What I'm trying to say is
that we did not travel

all the way from wisconsin for you
to give up on your very first day.

Well...

...I didn't say
I was giving up.

Okay, that's the spirit.

Now just like that deer, you get
up and dust off your antlers

and angrily kick in
our headlights.

You want me to kick her
in her headlights?

No. Look, I'll tell
you what you do.

Go down there tomorrow
and you talk to tawni.

Get away from me.

Look, I'm trying to apologize

I feel really bad about getting
off on the wrong foot.

And...

...I was thinking

maybe we could start fresh.

Are you shredding fan mail?

Not mine.

Done with grady.

Where's the nico pile?

What's this?

Oh, well, I got you a little
something to say I'm sorry.

Go ahead.

Oh, look!
it's a fuzzy little friend

for pootie two shoes.
Oh!

It's a peace offering.

Oh, a peace offering?

Well, now it's a million
peace offerings.

Look, you don't
have to forgive me,

but we still have to do
that bee sketch together.

Not gonna happen.

But I just wanna be as good
as you in my first show

as you are in every show.

You have so much to teach me
and I have so much to learn.

Flattery won't
get you anywhere.

You're the funniest and
prettiest one on the show.

My approach
to comedy is simple...

If we're going to play those
bumbling bees of yours,

here's something you
need to know about me.

I don't play bumbling bees.

Well, that's okay, because
I've got millions of ideas.

I'm just glad we're finally
getting along better.

Oh, so you're working
on sonny's sketch?

No no no no, it's our sketch.

It used to be my sketch.

Used to be my dressing room.
used to be my show.

Remember? We're bees

we're happy happy bees.

Fine, we're bees.

Let's say a new bee

arrives at the hive.

And on her first day
she buzzed in

and she thought
she knew everything

and she threw out one
of her millions of ideas

and she stung the queen bee
right in the back.

How would that make you feel?

I can't believe you stabbed me.

I didn't stab you.
You stabbed yourself.

You just stood there and watched,
which is just like stabbing.

So it's really your fault.
I knew you were out to get me.

I'm not out to get you.

Here, you need to rinse it off.

I'm sorry.
we need ointment and a bandage.

Here.

My queen bee cape.
That's my favorite cape!

How many capes do you have?

Here.

Here we go.
Just-- no no no.

- you're out of your mind.
- No, I'm not.

- get away from me.
- Sorry, here. Take pootie.

Pootie makes everything better.

Don't touch my pootie!

Pootie!

Look at me.
I'm covered in pootie.

I'm sorry.

Sorry isn't gonna bring
pootie back now, is it?

We'll get you a new
pootie two shoes.

A better pootie two shoes.

We'll get you a pootie
three shoes.

Well, what about my pride, huh?

That's been shredded too.

Look, tawni, the last thing I ever
wanted to do was hurt your pride,

and if I did, I'm really sorry.

But now I just want
to make things better.

Marshall, do you think you can add the
queen bee sketch back into the show?

I think the bumbling bee
sketch is funnier.

I don't, and let's see how
funny it is without me.

But I can't do
the sketch without you.

Then I guess just like pootie,

the sketch is
no longer with us.

- you know that pootie was a stuffed
anim-- - La la la la la la!

Okay, that's it.
Ever since I've gotten here,

I've been walking on eggshells trying
to keep the head cheerleader happy,

but apparently,
that's impossible.

I can "sis," and I can "boom"

and my "bah" kicks butt,
thank you very much.

'cause I am one bad bee.

Oh, my gosh--
one bad bee.

I got an idea for a new sketch,

and it doesn't include tawni.

I gotta go.

Sis, boom, bye.

You go, girl.

You can go too.

Announcer: let's get
back to "so random!"

♪ sis boom buzz,
sis boom buzz ♪

- you heard me. - ? Sis boom
buzzity buzz, sis boom buzz ?

- ? sis boom buzz,
- You heard me.

? sis boom buzz,
sis boom buzzity buzz

♪ there's a new bee and it's
kind of hard to fit in ♪

♪ when the queen bee
has the thinnest skin ♪

♪ no matter how nice
you try to be ♪

- ? she's always mean,
mean, mean, mean ? - Ow!

Sorry.
? I try to be nice ?

♪ but you see what it gets,
it's like jamming a stick ♪

♪ inside a hornet's nest ♪

♪ sis boom buzz,
sis boom buzz ♪

- you heard me.
- ? Sis boom buzz, sis boom buzz ?

- ? I'm not a stumbling bee ? - No!

- ? a groveling bee ?
- No!

- ? a stumbling, a fumbling,
a mumbling bee ? - No!

- ? a jumbling bee ?
- No!

- ? a rumbling bee ?
- No!

♪ guess the only bee
that I can be is me. ♪

yeah!

Word to the hive!

- yeah!
- Okay!

Okay, people, great show.
coming back to the signoff in five.

Nice job out
there tonight, kiddo.

Thank you, marshall.

Since it's your first show,
why don't you say good night?

- both: what?
- In five...

Four, three...

announcer: now let's welcome
the cast of "so random!"

well, that's our show, everybody,
and I just wanted to say

for as long as I could remember

it's always been a dream
of mine

meeting the boys,
hanging with zora.

And best of all,

getting to work with one
of my true heroes

and the inspiration
for our last sketch.

Give up it for tawni hart.

Well, that's our show,
everybody. Good night.

So, we have a tradition on so ramdom

first time you start an sketch.

You get to hang out
a prop in the prop house

so, I can hang this anywehere?

Anywhere you like

it's also a tradition we get
ice cream at the end of the show

I'm gonna hang here for a sec

all right cool.

-we'll see you at the cafeteria then.
-Cool

okay

I'm on the show ?

I'm in "so random!" ?

I'm in the show ?

I'm in hollywood,
yeah-- ?

oh my gosh!

Sweet!
I'm no longer the weird one.

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