Original subtitles

¶¶

¶ Look at that sun Look at that sky

¶ Look at my sweater vest I look so fly

¶ Look at that mailbox Look at that tree

¶ It's about as beautiful as it can be

¶ Whoa

¶ Today is gonna be exceptional

¶ Never boring even for a minute

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it

¶ Whoa

¶ Whoa

¶ Never boring even for a minute

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶

PRINCIPAL MILDER: Okay, kids, settle down.

Now as you all know, our school will be hosting

an extreme middle school challenge

for everyone's favorite cooking show, Cake 'Splosion.

(HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMING)

I really like that show,

and I thought that everyone would yell.

So please, welcome the star of Cake 'Splosion, Basil Bravo.

(APPLAUSE) Hello, Jefferson G. County Middle School.

(SCREAMING)

Yep, she really likes that show.

Today, I, Basil Bravo,

will be choosing two lucky Baking Bambinos...

AMANDA: Hello! Me! Por favor!

...for the greatest "extreme" cake baking show... Me! Pick me!

...in the world. Me! Por favor! Elijame!

So, if your heart goes pitter-patter... Choose me.

...for frosting and batter... Oh, oh, oh!

My heart patters for batter, Mr. Bravo! Hello! Oh! Me!

BASIL: ...to be a contestant on Cake 'Splosion!

Don't worry. Helmet.

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMS)

Hi, Amanda.

Wow! Spectacular!

And Basil Bravo loves spectacular.

What's your name, kid? Milo Murph...

You're in, Milo Murph.

Uh, actually it's... No time for your life story, Murph.

This is television.

Now, I need to find you the perfect pastry partner.

Who among your classmates... Ah! Oh, oh, oh...

...will make the perfect partner for you? Mr. Bravo.

A lot of kids look like they know how to bake. Oh! Me! Me!

Excuse me, Mr. Bravo. You should pick Amanda Lopez.

She loves you and your show.

She does! Those are my two favorite things.

Si! Yes! Hola! Hi, Mr. Bravo.

My name is Amanda Lopez

and it's been my dream to be on Cake 'Splosion

for almost two-thirds of my entire life.

And before that I was an infant

and had no knowledge of your show,

but I've baked something for you.

Did you know you were meeting me today?

I did not.

So how long has that cupcake been in your purse?

Oh, I bake a new one every morning.

Just in case.

It's gorgeous!

What did you say your name was again?

My name is Amanda Lop... That's fantastic, Ms. Lop.

But my name is... Then it's settled.

You and Milo Murph will be partners

on tomorrow's Cake 'Splosion.

(CHOMPING) Mmm.

(IN DEEP VOICE) Moist.

(IN NORMAL VOICE) If you can do that on a slightly larger scale,

this will make spectacular TV!

You guys are gonna be on television.

We've never known anyone famous before.

Uh, Milo knows Tobias Trollhammer.

Yeah, and Zack was regionally famous.

Yeah, what am I, Chop Chop Chopped Liver?

Yeah, good one.

High-five? Fist bump?

High-five? Fist bump?

High-five? Fist bump?

Fist bump? High-five?

High-five? Never mind. Fist bump?

This is gonna be great television.

You and Milo on the same team.

Me and Milo on the same team!

MILO: Isn't this great?

You're gonna be on your favorite show.

Yes, I am very happy.

What's wrong? I'm just worried about, you know...

Oh, you mean, Murph... (MUFFLED)

Let's just call it "that which will not be named."

(MUFFLED SPEECH) Oh, yeah, sure. Clearly, not a problem.

But, listen, I'm gonna load up my backpack

more carefully than ever.

We'll be so super prepared

that when things go wrong,

I'll be ready for them. (SIGHS)

I'm Jose, Basil's long-suffering assistant.

Please bring these liability waivers home to your families.

In extreme baking,

things can get... Well, "extreme."

Oh, better get these home.

Our insurance will have additional riders they want to add.

It is going to be a disaster.

There will be wolves with bees on their heads!

(SPEAKS SPANISH)

(IN ENGLISH) And a dinosaur made of ham.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

(IN ENGLISH) Yes! It is Murphy's Law.

We will be cursed with very high ratings.

MILO: No worries. Insurance will cover it.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) BRIGETTE: Go, Milo!

Mix that batter, batter, batter... Sweet!

They're not out there yet, Mom.

I know. I'm just warming up.

(CHANTING) Amanda, Milo,

bake that pie dough!

Where is Dad? He's watching from home.

We didn't want to double down on the Murphy mayhem.

MAN: (ON TV) Oh, Kelly, there's something I've been meaning to ask you.

Oh, uh, hello. Milo's on TV.

Uh-uh, not... not now. I'm watching my stories.

WOMAN: (ON TV) Well, you can ask, but I'm not Kelly.

I'm Kelly's evil twin.

Oh, okay. I'll just go watch it in the...

Who's Kelly?

Oh, I have no idea but I hate her.

It's a great show.

Welcome to our middle school edition of Cake 'Splosion,

where show business meets dough business.

Four teams will compete to finally decide

which Tri-State middle school student

will become the ultimate, Extreme Baker!

One team will be eliminated in each round.

Okay, let's meet our teams.

First from Middletown Middle School,

brainiacs John and Jake Jackson.

From the dark side of Badger Town Middle School,

Rain and Storm.

From Huntington Hills, Park Shore Estates Middle School,

Anthony and Ashley.

And from your very own, Jefferson G. County Middle School,

Milo Murph and my biggest fan, Amanda Lop.

ALL: (CHANTING) Amanda! Milo! Bakin' it with style-o!

Milo, I think it would work best

if you were my prep chef.

"Prep chef"? What's that?

Well, you go all the way over to the other side

of the kitchen and prep stuff.

And by all means, try to stay

as far away from where I am baking the actual cake.

Well, okay. I guess I...

Oh, is this because of Murphy's... It shall not be mentioned!

BASIL: Are you ready for round one?

You'll be head over heels

for our first event. (BELL DINGS)

Contestants, bake a cake using fresh seasonal ingredients,

while hanging upside down. (CAKE THUDS)

If that sounds like fun to you,

then start your ovens and get your cookies ready to crumble!

¶ It's more than an obstacle course

¶ In which I have to bake a cake

¶ Cake 'Splosion

¶ It's a grand tournament It's a battle of war

¶ It's a duel with your honor at stake

¶ Cake 'Splosion

¶ This is a real song not just a standard promotion

¶ Cake 'Splosion

¶ Cake 'Splosion

¶ Cake 'Splosion

¶ Cake 'Splosion

¶ Cake 'Splosion

¶ Tell all your friends they really need to watch this awesome show

¶ Cake 'Splosion

¶ And if they don't then they're just plain wrong

¶ So feel free to let them know

¶ Cake 'Splosion

¶ If we ...

¶ Cake 'Splosion

¶ Cake 'Splosion

¶ Cake 'Splosion

(BELL DINGS)

¶ Cake 'Splosion

¶ Cake 'Splosion

¶ This is a real song, not just some shameless promotion

¶ Cake 'Splosion ¶

(BELL DINGS)

MAN: (ON TV) If I married you and your evil twin,

I could have my cake and eat it, too.

"Cake"! Oh, my gosh! Milo.

Where's the remote? Uh, it's right over there.

Ah! The raccoon is back!

¶You've seen it before You go to see him soon

¶ He's the curry raccoon ¶

Hey, come back here, you little bandit.

How can you live like this?

(BENNY HILL THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Get back here!

(SQUEAKING)

Oh, no, no, no.

No, no, please don't play the... Oh...

What?

Bonjour.

Taxi.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

I bet it's that raccoon dunking the remote again.

All right, it's on.

No! What are you doing, Doof?

You can't blast him with that thing.

Relax. It's a transportinator.

It's just gonna send him across town somewhere.

No!

Sorry.

(MARTIN GROANING)

Oh. How's Milo doing?

They haven't lost yet!

Okay, folks. We are down to the final heat

and our remaining teams will now take their friendship cakes

through the obstacle course.

Are there any questions? I didn't think so. Good luck, kids.

I'm way ahead of you.

I'm gonna go sit in that cabinet

over there and count sprinkles.

AMANDA: No, Milo.

Things go wrong with or without the thing that shall not be named.

You mean, Murphy's La... No one listens.

But you're always prepared and I realized that

no matter what happens, it's just better having you around.

Really? Really.

Now let's go win this cooking show

by roller-skating through an obstacle course.

BASIL: (OVER SPEAKERS) Okay, everyone,

now let's see which one of our teams

will truly be cake 'splosive.

On your marks, get set...

Okay, fine, all right.

(BALLS POPPING)

Oh, no! We can't do this.

It's okay. Follow my lead.

(CLANKING)

BASIL: Well, they've made it through Gumball Fury

and now it's everybody's favorite... Angry goats.

(GOATS BLEATING)

AMANDA: We've done it, Milo. We're almost there.

(DIOGEE BARKING)

Diogee, you're not supposed to be in the mud. Go!

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

MAN: ¶ Don't say it's over

¶ Don't say it's over

¶ Don't say it's gone

¶ Don't say it's over

¶ Don't say it's over ¶

(WHINING)

It's not your fault, Diogee.

I'm so sorry, Amanda.

Oh, that's okay.

This is the most fun I've ever had

and I actually got to be on Cake 'Splosion,

my favorite TV show.

Well, I wish we'd won. BASIL: Wait a minute.

That was extreme and... (SLURPS)

(IN DEEP VOICE) Moist! (ECHOES)

(IN NORMAL VOICE) Ladies and gentlemen,

we have a winner!

Amanda Lop and Milo Murph!

(ALL CHEERING)

NARRATOR: You loved Krillhunter.

And... (READING)

You were mildly amused by...

(READING)

And... (READING)

You paid admission, but were thoroughly dissatisfied

with Krillhunter 5, 6, 7 and in particular 8, Good Krill Hunting.

And you were thoroughly confused by the giant remote-controlled

car race in Krillhunter 14: We Don't Know What We're Doing.

Now, be prepared to be blown away

by the all-new franchise reboot...

(READING)

Well, what do you think, D.B.?

It's genius! You recast all the men as women?

You got yourself a green light.

MELISSA: I can't believe they're casting and shooting

the next Krillhunter movie right here in Danville.

I can't wait to see Tobias Trollhammer again.

There he is. Tobias!

Hi, Milo. Milo's friends.

What's wrong?

Everything. They... They don't want me in the movie.

What?

This Krillhunter is all women.

Like, they're taking the movie and remaking it with women!

Cool! I mean, not for you, I guess.

Wait, where's Milo?

Oh, he must have fainted.

Oh, I had the most horrible dream.

They were making a Krillhunter movie without Tobias.

It sounds so silly now in the light of day,

but it seemed so real.

Milo, it is real. That's what he just said.

(THUDS)

I don't know what to do.

If the film is a hit, they'll never need me again.

But if it flops, it will destroy the franchise

and they'll never need me again.

I need these movies.

I can literally lose my house.

I mean, I could sell it for a million dollars,

but I can't live in a million dollars.

I'm not a silverfish.

What about the money from all the other films you made?

I blew a lot of it on krill-themed art.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Milo, you have to help me.

Why?

They're making the next Krillhunter without Tobias.

Oh, really?

(THUDS) Don't you worry, Tobias. We got this.

Thank you, Milo's friend girl.

Somehow, some way, I need to be in this film

to show the world they can't make a Krillhunter movie

without Tobias.

Too bad you're not a woman. I've got it!

I forgot to say, "Follow me!"

(BIRD SCREECHING)

Sir, I can't believe this is the best use of our talents.

Picking up alien rubbish?

You two are indispensable in this role.

But if our agency is covering up... (SNIFFS)

...the existence of alien life forms,

perhaps we could deal with the actual alien life forms.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, heavens no.

That's the boring, talky stuff.

You're doing the real work.

(SNARLING)

And keep it up, fellows.

Remember, alien trash need you. (BEEPS)

Ugh, alien trash! (MUSIC PLAYING OVER HEADPHONES)

This is rubbish, which means trash.

Can't hear you.

And I don't even think this is alien trash anymore.

It's just regular human trash.

Eh, we are outdoors. It's a nice day.

I got my tunes.

¶ I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun ¶

Well, at least it isn't the Lumberzacks.

(MUSIC CONTINUES OVER HEADPHONES)

(SQUEALS)

You want something to project strength,

but also a certain vulnerability.

I raided the bathroom for makeup,

but I think your mom's more of an autumn

and Tobias is clearly a winter.

As my dad always says, "You can put lipstick on a pig."

What? You can.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

MAN: ¶ Tobina, you got it goin'

¶ Although it takes a makeup mirror

¶ To make you vaguely pretty

¶ Now's your chance to hit that city

¶ Tobina, you got looks but also brawn

¶ You're pretty like some flour

¶ A bag of flour

¶ And you might have to shave in an hour

¶ We believe that you'll achieve

¶ Your every dream

¶ I don't wanna be too graphic

¶ Not too graphic

¶ But you've got a face that could stop traffic

¶ For you're a star

¶ We'll keep you far from the freeway

¶ Tobina

¶ She really smolders

¶ Tobina

¶ With such big shoulders

¶ Tobina

¶ Tobina ¶

(POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER HEADPHONES)

Please stop moving the bag. I did not move the bag.

Well, somebody moved the bag and it wasn't me.

(YELPS)

So, still think it was me?

DIRECTOR: Next.

Hi. My Aunt Tobina

wants to audition for Lady Kriller.

Okay, let's see what you got, Auntie.

"Help! Help! Somebody help me."

(IN FALSETTO) Stand back! I'm going in for the krill.

I'm a woman who's dressed to krill!

(EXCLAIMING)

(GRUNTING)

Amazing.

She's like a female Tobias Trollhammer.

Can she handle the physical demands of the role?

We'll find out. Prepare the gauntlet.

Great gollywockers.

What do you think that is?

I don't know. Maybe we picked up something alien after all.

Yes! This could be our chance

to prove that we can handle more than trash.

We've captured an alien!

CAVENDISH: Wait! Who moved the bag?

It was not me. (BOTH SCREAM)

After that renegade rubbish!

I don't know if I can do this.

I believe in you, Tobias.

Tobina, you're up.

MAN: ¶ She's a big, bold bombshell

¶ And she's just got back and oozes of patience

¶ She's a fierce, fine feminine force fighting tiny crustaceans

¶ Oh, Lady Kriller

¶ Lady Kriller, she's a Lady Kriller

¶ Oh, she's a Lady Kriller (YELLING)

¶ Lady Kriller, she's a Lady Kriller ¶

Get it before it gets away again!

I'm trying but I've only had one lesson.

Oops!

(BELLOWING)

(COMICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(BELLOWING)

(BELLOWING)

It's working.

Got it! Good show.

I daresay, it was...

(BOTH SCREAMING)

CAVENDISH: Dakota!

DAKOTA: I'm not moving it!

The final part of your audition.

Crawling through the mud while singing acapella.

How does this... And go.

(GRUNTS)

¶ Happy birthday to you

¶ Happy birthday... ¶

You can do it, Auntie Tobina.

(CAVENDISH AND DAKOTA SCREAMING AND GROANING)

(OPERA MUSIC PLAYING)

(ALL GASP)

Huh? (GASPS) Oh, no!

Tobias Trollhammer?

You were playing us for fools.

We'd look like idiots if we cast a man to play a woman.

What is this, Shakespeare?

This is not Shakespeare.

You're out, Trollhammer. Out, out, out!

No! I am Krillhunter.

I will always be Krillhunter.

It is not because I'm a man

or because I'm wearing a dress.

It is because I am a man wearing a dress.

I may have lost my train of thought,

but the point is, I am Krillhunter!

And no one can take that away from me.

That was amazing.

Who knew you had such range?

You'd be perfect for the movie as the villain.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(DOG BARKING)

(ALIEN GRUNTING)

Huzzah! We did it!

Yes. No one can ever say that we are worse than trash

ever again. We have succeeded in our mission and...

Wait, do people say that?

Eh... Well, no matter.

We will be heartily praised when we show whatever this thing is

to Mr. Block. DAKOTA: Uh-oh.

CAVENDISH: (GRUNTS) No you don't!

Do you levitate your mother like this? I don't think so.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(SIGHS) We failed yet again.

Well, at least it can't get any worse than this, I guess.

(GROANS)

Now it can't get any worse.

Bison. What?

My house is safe

and none of this would have happened

without you, Milo, and Milo's friends.

I knew you could do it, Tobias.

Uh, wait, Mr. Director?

Won't making Tobias the villain

cause some continuity problems

since Tobias was the hero of the franchise for all those years?

Can you really just wedge him in

without some really substantial changes

to the canon and the new script?

Who cares about the script?

We don't even read those anymore.

We do what we want with no regard

to plot or character or making sense

to the people watching it. Confusing stuff, cabbage tree, vacuum cleaner.

I've learned my lesson. I have no idea what it is.

Bison. (TOBIAS GRUNTS)

(BELLOWING)

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶

Hi, I just want to take a quick moment to talk about today's episode.

You may or may not have noticed me in the background

for several scenes involving bison.

Did you see? Like there and there.

Uh, my name is Billy Bison.

I'm the great, great, great-grandson of Frederick Bison,

the originator of Bison's Law,

which states, "Whatever can go bison will go bison."

I'm really sorry about tonight's episode.

I feel like I kinda hijacked it a little. (STAMPEDE)

Okay. Oh, I better speed this up.

Okay, once again, I just wanna say I'm sorry

and I better just jump right to the end!

It's my world and there's all bisons in it. (GROANS)

¶ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

¶ Oh, thanks, everybody That is so motivational

¶ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

¶ Whoa

¶ Whoa

¶ I'm not sitting here watching the world turn

¶ You know I'd rather spin it

¶ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶