Original subtitles

Ah-hyuck!

♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪

♪ Like father, like son ♪

♪ You're always number one ♪

[both] Yes!

♪ There's buddies There's pals ♪

Yeah!

♪ You always seem to work things out ♪

♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪

♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪

Whoa!

♪ A real good time ♪

Aah!

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we'll always stick together ♪

♪ Always stick together ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪

♪ We're always ready to roll ♪

♪ Now, gimme a beat ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we always stick together ♪

♪ Oh, we're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Now we're callin' everyone ♪

♪ Come along and join the fun ♪

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪

Yeah!

[Goofy] Ahyuck! Time to rise and floss, Maxie!

Today's the big day!

[inflating]

You can stream the streamers,

while I balloon up these balloons.

[inflating]

Whoa! That'll get your heart beating, ahyuck.

Um, it isn't national yodel day again, is it, Dad?

Oh, no, son!

You see, I'm adding a whole full dollar

to our monthly mortgage payment.

Now, instead of 35 years,

we'll have this house all paid off

in just 34 years and 364 days!

So, as soon as I can get this money to the bank...

We're gonna have us a wingding to end all blowouts!

Ahyuck!

We'll be yodeling till the cows come home. Ahyuck!

[inflating]

Oops! We'll have party hats, and whistles

And cake nine and a half feet tall.

And we'll play pin the tail on the monkey and...

[whooping]

[snoring]

Ah, ah, man the lifeboats, scuttle the poop deck...

Women and children right after me. Oomph.

That Goof left his lawn ornaments over here again?

I can't get out of my own bed

without tripping over his trash, and I...

[grunting]

What's he think this is, the public landfill?

[grunting]

[crashing]

Give me it, Pistol. I saw it first!

-I saw it first! -You did not! I did.

-Mine! -Give me it, you...

[Peg] all right, break it up!

What are you two fighting over?

We're not fighting, Mom,

We're negotiating a business transaction.

And I got dibs on this trash!

You're fighting to do chores?

Well, Dad started an incentive program...

And each and every job pays its own special price!

Yeah, like, taking out the trash pays 5 cents.

And that nickel's got my name on it!

I saw it first.

-Mine! -Pistol, it's mine!

-Let go! -Give it to me, pistol.

-No! -I swear I'm gonna...

[shrieks] Oh, my beautiful clean floor!

Hey, no problemo, Mom!

'Cause according to the incentive program,

cleaning the kitchen floor pays a dime!

Almost as much as fixing a broken window!

Don't even think about it.

I better have a talk with that husband of mine.

Hmm, the place looks like a million bucks,

if I don't say so myself.

[doorbell rings]

Hmm, must be autumn,

the flamingos are returning to Cappuccino.

Hello, neighbor. Just thought I'd drop by

to drop off a few of your things.

And tell you to keep your own junk in your own house!

Like this for instance, this, and these, and those.

And that, and don't forget that.

And then there's this stupid thing.

And last and least, this!

Thanks, Pete! But you know,

I don't think this is my ice cream machine.

Let me test her out. I know just the hum that mine hums.

[whirring]

Hmm, might be and might not be.

Let me hear it in the speed of G.

[vibrating] Hey, now watch it there, Goofer,

You don't want to...

Close, but no guitar.

Let me hear her on high.

No!

Nope, it's a nice machine, all right-y.

-But it's not mine. -Turn it off!

Turn it off,

A-W-f, off!

[straining]

[crashing]

Now, look what you did.

You went and gave me a Goof twitch!

I just got one thing to say to you!

You better stop leaving your crud laying around,

or someday you're gonna lose something important!

Yeah! You're right, Pete! I ought to put

my mortgage money somewhere safe

'til I can get it in the bank.

Well, I'm glad you're finally catching on!

With all the burglar types running around,

I can't be too careless when it comes to my money.

I got to hide it so good, i won't know where I put it.

Well, maybe in a loaf of bread in the bread box.

Or up in the gutters. Or under the cat.

[screeching]

Or maybe in the plumbing pipes or...

[honks]

I got it! I'll tape it to Maxie's rolling skate!

Ahyuck! Perfect!

No burglar's gonna be dumb enough to look there!

[screeching]

Why that half-stepping, low-ridin', crummfritterin'...

Ow!

Hmm, what have we here?

Why, it must be the Goof's mortgage money!

And after I told him not to go...

Say, maybe I ought to teach that absentminded lame-o a lesson

about leaving things laying around.

Yeah, I'll just hold onto this a while

and let him squirm. That'll teach him!

[laughing] I'll just hide the cash in here for safekeeping...

Then sit back and enjoy the show.

Nope, not there.

I know! I bet it's right here under the carpet.

Of course, I could've dropped it up here in the chimney.

You never know, Maxie! It might have fell out of my pocket

while I was taking a bath.

[raucous laughter]

-Would you look at that guy? -Pete, what are you doing?

Er, oh, just bird watching.

There's a rare cuckoo next door

doing some very amusing things.

Your incentive program has turned our children into

a couple of greedy little money-grubbers.

Ooh, then it's a success, huh?

You should see what they're...

[Pistol] Dumped the trash, cleaned up after chainsaw,

-swept the floor! -Washed the walls,

cleaned up after chainsaw!

That totals $18 and 44, ah, 45 cents for me.

And $21.12 cents for me.

I rest my case.

Not so fast. First, I got to deduct your room and board,

and employer tax, sociable insecurity, disability,

and a dollar for the presidential campaign fund.

And that leaves 75 cents for you, P.J.,

And 83 for you, sweet pea.

Isn't this illegal or something?

Aw, it's just the cold hard reality of high finance, pumpkin.

An honest dollar is worth maybe 2 bits...

And a fast buck is worth its weight in gold.

But when you learn to make 2 bucks for every buck,

you know you're on the right track!

No, no. I'll get that, Mom, 50 cents a load!

I get to sort the socks, 14 cents a pair!

There, you see, Peg, it's just nickel and dime stuff,

Nothing to get worked up over.

Okay. It's your own piggy bank you're breaking.

But just remember,

I warned you.

I get to sew the pockets back on!

There's nothing wrong with the pockets.

[laughs] Hey, I like the way you think.

[growling]

[rhythmic knocking]

Don't we get 3 cents for answering the door?

-[both] I'll get it! -[P.J.] I want to answer it!

-It's mine! -No, it isn't, it's mine!

-Me! Get out of the way! -Let me answer it!

And there you see the result of your little economic experiment.

Hiya, Peej.

We just came over to tell you the bad news.

Dad lost the mortgage money.

Oh, he did? Aw, gee, Peg,

ain't that disasterful?

And we'll never be able to come up with enough

in time to pay.

So it looks like we're gonna be moving.

Yeah, well, I guess these things happen

when you leave stuff laying around and...

-Did you say moving? -Moving? Moving to where?

Back to the trailer park, I reckon.

Trailer park, eh?

Well, just happened to have an article on one just

north of downtown Borneo!

Goofy, this is-- This is terrible.

Oh, it won't be so bad. Why, in a year or two

we might even have enough money to buy a trailer.

You're not moving to any trailer park.

You'll live here with us.

Yeah, this is all real terrible.

Now, you start off like you're heading to Saskatchewan,

only you hang a left at the equator...

And what did you say?

I appreciate your offer, Peg,

But me and Maxie wouldn't want to be a burden.

Well, I don't want you to, either.

Honey, Goofer's got too much character

to mooch off his friends!

He'll only be staying until he gets back on his feet.

Now, peach pit, we couldn't impose our hospitality on them like that,

so let me draw him a map to Borneo, and...

Well, Peg, if you insist,

I guess we could stay here a while, but only a day or two.

Oh, then it's settled.

Kids, go help bring their things over.

[sniffs] I just don't deserve neighbors like you.

My sentiments presactly.

Oh, I can't have that Goof-monger

polluting the sanity of my own home!

I'll end up feeding him, and clothing him,

and driving him to the orthodontist!

Ew, just the thought of it gives me Goof bumps.

There's only one way out of this!

I'm gonna have to give him his own money back!

And just when he was as good as gone.

Gone? The money's gone!

I could've sworn I put it in the...

It's got to be somewhere.

[stammering] Maybe I dropped it

under the carpet, I...

It could've fallen through the cracks, it could...

Wait a minute!

You're starting to think like the Goof.

[panting] You got to get a hold of yourself there, Petems.

Stay calm.

[breathing heavily]

Easy, Petey. Oh, no hyperventilizing, get a grip.

That's it. You got to set your priorities.

Okay, first thing, you gotta get him out of the house,

then you find the money,

and then you get him back to his own dump.

Yeah, that's it. Of course, yeah, that'll work.

That'll work, won't it?

It has to work! It's got to work! It's got to...

Well, let me help you get yourself settled in there, Goof-lips.

Your couch is my couch, I always say!

Well, thank you, Petey, I'm really imbedded to you.

I know you are. Now we'll...

Oh, no! I just remembered!

We had this couch fumigated not three years ago.

Can't put you there,

might have lingering chemicals on it.

What say we put you and your kid up in the RV?

It's cramped, stuffy, rank, and dank.

You'll feel right at home.

You're a swell kind of guy, Petey,

going to all this trouble for us.

Yeah, I know.

[laughs] No trouble at all, Goof.

Of course, you can only stay in there till 3:00.

I'm taking her out to have the wheels maligned.

Poor Max. If I don't do something,

I could lose the best friend I ever had.

Well, sort of the only friend I ever had.

[growling]

Are you gonna resod the front lawn, or what?

It pays 37 whole cents.

Pistol, how can you think of money at a time like this?

Pistol, pistol, that's it! You're a genius.

-Of course, I'm a genius... -Okay, we'll work

twice as fast and three times as hard,

and we'll make enough money to pay for Max's house!

Poopsie! You shouldn't bring such

Icky-sticky trash into Mommy's house!

P.J., I got a great idea!

Remember what Dad said about making 2 bucks on every buck?

-Yeah. -If we separate the cans and the paper,

We'll get paid for dumping the trash and recycling it!

All unpacked, Dad.

[Pete] Hello?

Any Goof at home?

Almost 3:00, Goofer.

What say you pack up and let's move you over to the boat.

You'll like it there,

it's got all the creature comforts,

and a few of the creatures,

and it's a good 10 feet closer to Borneo.

[screaming]

[straining]

[grunting]

[gasps] Color me embarrassed,

do I have egg on my face or what?

Just remembered, I gotta get the old boat

down to the dry-docks for her biweekly varnishing.

But don't worry, I'll set up a nice pup tent for you

right over by the fence,

just a stone's throw away from Borneo.

[laughs]

I'm getting this Goof off my property one inch at a time.

[crashing]

-Sorry, Dad. -Yeah, excuse us.

Give me that, will you?

I've only read the sports page twice.

Sure thing, Dad!

[sighs] Energetic little tycoons.

That grimbleframming Goof's

harder to get rid of than head lice!

If only I hadn't lost that dough.

Ooh, the answer to my prayers!

All right, all right, now pack that junk back up!

You're gonna move us again, Pete?

Yep, right back into your very own dump house!

On account of I found your mortgage money!

Aw, I know what you're doing, Pete, and it just won't wash.

[stuttering]

Huh? What're you talking about?

I know you took your own money

And fixed it up to look like mine.

[laughs] Yeah, right.

Look, Goof, trust me, I didn't do that.

You're the best friend named Pete I ever had.

But I can't take free charity, no matter how free it is.

We're just gonna stay here till I get us back off our feet.

[strangling sounds]

Oh, I can't believe I've got to Goof the Goof into taking his own money.

There, now he'll find the dough, and it won't be charity.

And I can get him off my property and out of my hair.

-[Goofy] Pete? -Ah!

Oh, the Goofmeister, there you are!

Been looking for you, buddy.

I just got hit by a brainstorm,

and I couldn't wait to tell you.

You know, Goof,

A lot of cashola can accumulize under your couch cushions

Over the decades. You ought to check it out.

Thanks for the tip,

But I just sold it off for 5 bucks.

You what?

Wanted to pay you back that lunch money

You loaned me in high school.

Stop, stop, come back here, come back!

[exhausted panting]

Getting that guy back in his house

is gonna get me in traction.

If I don't get that nut out of here,

I'm gonna be a shell of my former self.

P.J., grab those socks! Darning runs 25 cents a hole!

And get the jacket.

I'll bet you a double scoop of fudge nut

with sliced almonds and jelly bean sauce I finish before you!

Ice cream. Why didn't I think of that sooner?

I know how to get the money back to the...

Money, money, money, where's the money?

P.J., give me that coat!

Who made off with my moolah?

I'm gonna lose my mind if I don't do something!

[gasping] I'll never get rid of him unless I use my own...

[gasps] Money!

[gasps]

Goof, I know you've had your eye on my ice cream maker,

so tell you what I'm gonna do,

I'll sell it to you at twice its retail value,

A mere 400 big ones.

Oh, it's a fine piece of machinery, Pete.

But I'm afraid my cash flow is at low tide.

No problem. I'll float you a loan,

And you write me out a U-O-me.

Well, okey-doke, Pete.

Fine, here's your 400 simoleons.

And here's 400 for the ice cream maker.

Okay, now we're...

Ooh, ah!

Uh, uh, say, Goof,

Can you break a 10 for me?

Sorry, Pete, only got change for a three.

That's okay. If you give me three,

I'll give you 10 back, and you can owe me the rest.

Now I don't have a five, so let me give you these three twenties.

Now, four is 12 is 129,

you carry that to the fifth dimension,

round it off to the nearest fraction makes it 270, am I right?

Uh, I never had much of a head for figures.

I know. What am I thinking? I still owe you for the seven.

Compounded quarterly, that makes it 375.

And, you know, I'm a little short,

so you better take this 82 as collateral.

And there! We're even!

We are?

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, we finished all the chores, 15 times each,

and minus room and board and all the usual taxes,

you owe me 219 big ones!

And 181 for me.

[Peg] that's right, my little mutual fund.

I checked the figures myself.

100, 189, 219,

300, 350, 400...

[P.J.] here you go, mr. G.

[Pistol] all you need to pay off your mortgage!

Well, would you look-y here!

Ahyuck. It's my mortgage money, all $400!

Ahyuck. Well, maybe you'll need more,

why take chances? Here's another 100.

Oh, don't want to cut it too close, take an extra 50...

Nah, just take the whole wallet, and this ring,

and here's my car keys, and my Italian shoes,

and some credit cards.

[stammering] Wait a minute, what about the shirt off my back?

And an IOU and a U-O-me, E-I-E-I-O,

With a blank check here and a blank check there,

I'm going to strangle you right now!

[laughing maniacally]

♪ Gimme a beat ♪

[theme music playing]

Yeah!