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Ah-hyuck!
2
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♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪
3
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♪ Like father, like son ♪
4
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♪ You're always number one ♪
5
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[both]
Yes!
6
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♪ There's buddies
There's pals ♪
7
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Yeah!
8
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♪ You always seem to work things out ♪
9
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♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪
10
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♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪
11
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Whoa!
12
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♪ A real good time ♪
13
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Aah!
14
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♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪
15
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♪ And we'll always stick together ♪
16
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♪ Always stick together ♪
17
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:29,399
♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪
18
00:00:29,487 --> 00:00:31,817
♪ The best of friends forever ♪
19
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♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪
20
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♪ We're always ready to roll ♪
21
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♪ Now gimme a beat ♪
22
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:42,834
♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪
23
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♪ And we always stick together ♪
24
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Gawrsh!
25
00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:47,384
♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪
26
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:50,594
♪ The best of friends forever ♪
27
00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:53,889
♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪
28
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,930
♪ Come along and join the fun ♪
29
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,024
♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪
30
00:00:57,098 --> 00:00:58,888
♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪
31
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Yeah!
32
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[Bob] Charge, men! We got them on the run!
33
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:03,772
[P.J.] Look out, Max!
34
00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:05,145
[Max] Retreat!
35
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:07,111
[rooster crows]
36
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:11,452
[objects clattering]
37
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:13,700
[snoring]
38
00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:20,075
You see him?
39
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:21,753
[panting] Nah. We lost him.
40
00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:23,121
[meow]
41
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[whimpers]
42
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,050
[Max] He'll never find us here.
43
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Surprise!
44
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[both] Ambush!
45
00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:37,099
Retreat!
46
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,555
Cool your jets, Peej.
47
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,892
Max, we've gotta regroup!
48
00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:44,147
No, we don't.
49
00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:45,979
We got him where we want him.
50
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,404
We got-- Oh, yeah.
51
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,492
Come on out, general.
52
00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:53,069
We gotcha cold.
53
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[scoffs] Guess he's gonna go down
with the garbage, huh?
54
00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:59,077
Eh! The military mind is a mystery to me.
55
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:00,200
You ready?
56
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:01,496
I'm ready.
57
00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:03,999
Aha! Gotcha, general!
58
00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:06,632
Don't move, Uncle Bob!
59
00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:09,296
[yelping]
60
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:12,219
That's-- that's impossible.
61
00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:13,798
[P.J.] How'd he do that?
62
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:20,682
Ha ha! Surprise is my middle name!
63
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,520
Come on, Peejster!
64
00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:26,401
We have not yet begun to squirt.
65
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:28,769
[man on TV]
This 4th of July, come on down.
66
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:32,437
Get a super deal on a patriotic RV
from me, Earl Yokel.
67
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:37,527
[munching] Earl Yokel?
Yokel Earl, you mean.
68
00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:40,405
You can't get a better deal
in Spoonerville,
69
00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:43,713
especially from a certain RV pirate
70
00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:46,368
whose initial is "p" as in porky.
71
00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:47,878
What?
72
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:48,959
"P"?
73
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:50,094
Why, that's me!
74
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,420
Who you calling porky, bird face?
75
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:54,085
And if he's watching
76
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,594
and can stop chewing long enough
to listen,
77
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:59,176
I challenge him to outsell me,
78
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:00,812
Earl "Uncle Sam" Yokel,
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00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:04,559
during my 4th of July
red, white, and blue tag sale.
80
00:03:04,642 --> 00:03:06,062
[woman] I want one!
81
00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:07,604
[people chattering] What a great deal!
82
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:09,687
This means war!
83
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:12,193
I've gotta develop a gimmick
84
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:13,855
to outsell that loudmouth.
85
00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:15,863
First I'll figure out a way
86
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:18,815
to get the air out of his tires.
87
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:19,947
[P.J.] Move it, Max!
88
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,533
[Max] Right behind you, bud.
89
00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:26,712
Hey! What do you think you're doing?
90
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:29,790
Uncle Bob's teaching us
commando tactics.
91
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:32,246
The guy's amazing. He could be anywhere!
92
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,087
That old blowhard?
93
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:37,552
Why, he couldn't commando my big toe!
94
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:38,514
[blows raspberry]
95
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,263
It's him.
96
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,255
Let 'em have it!
97
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:43,466
Let who have what?
98
00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:49,601
Don't move, general.
99
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,608
I gotcha, Uncle Bob.
100
00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:54,230
Hold on just a second there.
101
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:57,777
It ain't over till it's over, rookies!
102
00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:02,121
Stop it!
103
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,040
He who squirts and runs away
104
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:08,120
lives to squirt another day.
105
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:09,536
After him!
106
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,044
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
107
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,170
When I get my hands on those kids--
108
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,304
I'm gonna-- Uh?
109
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,340
Where do we think we're going?
110
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:21,184
Why, pumpkin nut, we-- I mean, you--
111
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,181
I was just--
112
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,683
Redecorating to surprise Mommy?
113
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:29,555
[Pete] Uh, well, not exactly,
sardine lips,
114
00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,024
see, I was just--
115
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,734
You really want to surprise Mommy,
116
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,444
you'll clean up, now!
117
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,904
But, Pegster, I didn't do it.
118
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,945
It was your uncle--
119
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:41,949
Easy. That's my favorite ear.
120
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:44,492
You just leave my sweet uncle Bob alone!
121
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:50,084
It isn't easy for Brigadier General
Robert E. Lee Sparrowhawk to retire.
122
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:53,535
He's acting a little strange
'cause he's feeling useless.
123
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:55,046
But he has a good heart.
124
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,628
It's his head I'm worried about.
125
00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:59,304
Did you say something?
126
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,932
I was just saying he wasn't alone
127
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:05,260
because P.J. and young goof--
128
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,675
Yes. The kids just love him, don't they?
129
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,766
Don't forget to dust my knickknacks.
130
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,561
But-- But I got work to do.
131
00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:16,896
Earl Yokel's commercials
are killing my business.
132
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,743
I'll have to go to war.
133
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:21,568
Why, Pete, my little hot-glue gun,
134
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,874
that's so thoughtful of you.
135
00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:26,078
It... is?
136
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,119
Uncle Bob will be a big help
137
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:30,793
planning your ad campaign with you.
138
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:35,382
Uncle Bob? Helping me sell RVs?
139
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:41,013
It isn't like you
to have such a good idea. [laughs]
140
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:43,391
I can't wait to tell Uncle Bob.
141
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:45,848
Uh, let me tell him, Peg!
142
00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:50,059
I, uh, I wanna see his face
light up with joy.
143
00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:52,021
Why, of course, Pete.
144
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,902
Never mind cleaning up.
145
00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:57,938
Oh! I'm so excited about this!
146
00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:01,114
Long as that pinhead
uncle of hers is around,
147
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,574
I'm not going to get anything done.
148
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,744
How do you get rid of a guy
149
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:10,326
who only takes orders
from the US Army?
150
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:15,582
Yeah! That's it! Orders from the army.
151
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,758
[Goofy]
Hmm. Let's see here.
152
00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:25,892
Instructions in Spanish, German,
153
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:28,469
French, Dutch, Italian...
154
00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:30,386
Ah! Here we go!
155
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,143
Instructions in English!
156
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,345
[chuckles] These oughta do it.
157
00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:36,596
[narrator]
Plumbing in the home.
158
00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:39,648
Chapter one--
the kitchen sink.
159
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:43,363
Nothing is easier than disconnecting
the kitchen sink
160
00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:46,525
for its annual cleaning and inspection.
161
00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:48,534
I love this stuff!
162
00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:50,946
First, select your pipe wrench.
163
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:53,616
I said pipe wrench!
164
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:56,285
[Goofy] Oh! Silly ol' me!
165
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:59,174
[narrator]
Now unscrew the p-trapfrom the tail piece
166
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,632
while untwisting the y-joint
167
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:02,092
playing tea for two
168
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,092
on the left-hand threaded elbow.
169
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:08,014
[Goofy laughs] This is a cinch. Uh-oh.
170
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,014
But whatever you do,
171
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:13,516
don't forget to shut off the water!
172
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:16,185
[screaming]
173
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:20,227
Gosh, General Sparrowhawk,
174
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:21,685
you're really something.
175
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,025
Thank you, Max.
176
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,360
Call me Bob.
177
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,025
And you're right. I really am something.
178
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:32,834
Man, I don't know why
the army let you retire.
179
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:34,791
Yeah! What a waste!
180
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:36,411
You're awesome!
181
00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:38,288
The way I figure it,
182
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,495
I'm being held in reserve
183
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:43,245
for something really special.
184
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:44,418
I must be.
185
00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:46,126
Get away from me!
186
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,296
Am-scray! Beat it!
187
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,675
I stand still for a second,
188
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:51,851
and those vultures are all over me.
189
00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:53,180
I can't stand it!
190
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:55,104
Now where was I?
191
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:59,193
Tellin' us why the army was savin' you.
for something special.
192
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:01,520
I'll tell you why, son.
193
00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:04,186
Because in all my years in the military,
194
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:08,526
nothing and nobody
has ever taken me by surprise.
195
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:11,873
Wow! Nobody's ever surprised you?
196
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,030
Never.
197
00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:16,118
The man who finally does, if he exists,
198
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:19,424
is gonna have to be someone very special.
199
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,289
[Goofy screaming]
200
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:25,585
Sorry, officer. I shoulda watched
201
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,172
which way I was being blasted.
202
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,297
Don't apologize, man!
203
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:31,394
You were incredible.
204
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:32,719
I never thought I'd see the day
205
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:35,564
I'd have my socks knocked off like that.
206
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,140
It was thrilling.
207
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:40,435
You and I are gonna be buddies.
208
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,610
But first, I have to get
out of this soggy uniform.
209
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,230
I hate wet underwear.
210
00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:46,566
Who was that guy?
211
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,151
My uncle!
212
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:52,116
Brigadier General
Robert E. Lee Sparrowhawk,
213
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,488
retired.
214
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,655
I can believe it.
215
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:58,004
I'm purty pooped myself.
216
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,001
[whistles]
217
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:06,877
Halt! Who goes there?
218
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:10,836
Who in camouflage's
name are you?
219
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:13,255
[Pete] Don't you recognize
military intelligence
220
00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:14,545
when you see it?
221
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:15,966
If I could do that,
222
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,516
I'd be a genius,
not a general.
223
00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:18,729
What do you want?
224
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:21,308
I have a message for you from them.
225
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,564
Wait a minute! What's the password?
226
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:27,526
Uh, them didn't tell it to me.
227
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,319
It was too secret.
228
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:32,072
Exactly. They wouldn't
tell it to me, either.
229
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:34,315
I love tight security.
230
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,077
Now what's the message?
231
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:38,239
[Pete] There's gonna be
a national emergency.
232
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,208
They need you to handle it.
233
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:44,747
I knew they were saving me
for something special!
234
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,754
I just knew it. Didn't you?
235
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:49,586
What kind of emergency
we talking about here?
236
00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:52,183
They say you'll know it when you see it.
237
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:55,098
Of course I will.
I'm a trained soldier, you know?
238
00:09:55,178 --> 00:10:00,808
You'll have to organize
a base far from me-- I mean, here.
239
00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:02,642
What about extra troops?
240
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,397
Use your own judgment.
241
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,979
Wonderful! My very own judgment.
242
00:10:07,065 --> 00:10:09,145
I've discovered just the man I need
243
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,614
right here--
a natural soldier,
244
00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:14,065
gave me the thrill of a lifetime.
245
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:16,025
[Pete] Ain't that somethin'?
246
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:19,446
You can count on Brigadier General
Bob Sparrowhawk.
247
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:22,246
Roger, Wilco, and KP!
248
00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:27,502
Now that general moonbeam
is out of my face,
249
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:30,255
I got a sales campaign to plan.
250
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:31,918
Generals aren't the only ones
251
00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:33,427
who know how to stratify.
252
00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:35,758
Wait! Just a second, though, here.
253
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:38,724
Fourth of July, generals, campaigns.
254
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:42,555
I got it! Wait till that 4th of July jerk
Earl Yokel sees
255
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,272
what he's up against now!
256
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,152
[laughs menacingly]
257
00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:53,026
[Goofy] Doesn't look quite right somehow.
258
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:56,361
Maybe I misread the instructions. [sighs]
259
00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:59,278
They're all Greek to me,
even the ones in English.
260
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,787
[chuckles]
Sure could use a hand with these.
261
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:03,710
[Bob] Psst! Hey, you! Soldier!
262
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,078
Gawrsh!
263
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,996
Not quite what I had in mind.
264
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,214
No! No! Down here!
265
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,165
Oh, hiya, general.
266
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:13,415
You lost or something?
267
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,006
Whoa!
268
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:16,261
[Bob] Are we alone?
269
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:17,803
[Goofy] I can't tell, general.
270
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:22,391
It's too dark to see.
Hey! [mumbling]
271
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,731
[screaming]
272
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:28,727
[sighs]
273
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,153
Private Goofy?
274
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:31,401
Ah-hyuck! That's me.
275
00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:33,493
Uncle Bob wants you.
276
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:37,528
This could be the moment you'll look back
on with pride for the rest of your life.
277
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,034
What have you got to say?
278
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:42,785
[Goofy] I think I forgot to turn
the water off again.
279
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,869
[screams]
280
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,616
[Pete] I was there.
281
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,997
When Neanderthal man first
traded a stone wheel
282
00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:53,166
for a pork chop,
283
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,764
I was there.
284
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,929
When the first RV salesman
285
00:11:57,008 --> 00:12:01,098
sold a covered wagon with a leaky top
286
00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:02,809
and no warranty,
287
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,389
I was there.
288
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:07,144
And when Earl Yokel
learns the hard way
289
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:12,817
what a 4th of July
RV sale is all about--
290
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,319
ha ha ha--
291
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,321
I'll be there, too.
292
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,743
Now all I need is my tank.
293
00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:22,033
Nothin' like a little patriotism
294
00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:26,827
and an 88-millimetre cannon
to promote RV sales.
295
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:30,213
Nice of ya to bring the boys.
296
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,791
I always say, give me a man
when he's a boy,
297
00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:33,997
and when he's an old codger,
298
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:37,717
the teenager will not forget the youth
when he isn't an infant anymore.
299
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:42,719
Wow, if I'd said that,
my tongue would be numbly.
300
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,764
Exactly where are we goin'?
301
00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:46,678
Yeah, and what are we gonna do?
302
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:51,306
I can't tell you that now. Suffice to say
the world will be a better place
303
00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:52,356
when we're through.
304
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:53,729
Radical!
305
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:56,145
We're gonna hug trees.
306
00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:57,494
Cool!
307
00:12:57,569 --> 00:12:59,319
[Bob] Here we are!
308
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:00,534
[tires screech]
309
00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:03,906
Welcome to the Spoonerville County
Militia Armory
310
00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:06,242
and surplus depot.
311
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:08,747
[Max/P.J.] Awesome!
312
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:11,330
I have the honor and privilege
of preparin' you
313
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:13,496
for the oncoming emergency.
314
00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:14,955
Wow! An emergency!
315
00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:16,665
Right on!
316
00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:18,165
Yeah. Ah-hyuck!
317
00:13:18,256 --> 00:13:19,916
Exactly what kind of emergency
318
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:21,928
are we talking about again?
319
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,760
Don't you worry about that.
320
00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:27,465
I'll know it when I see it.
I'm a trained soldier.
321
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:30,637
I can't wait to see him in action.
322
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:32,147
And us in action, dude!
323
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,398
[both] Yeah!
324
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,900
The first thing you have to
learn is the basics
325
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,612
from the army manual,
326
00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:40,452
then we'll move on to advanced training.
327
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,488
[narrator]
Yes, it's true!
328
00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:44,372
You're in the army now!
329
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,911
[chuckles] There's that voice again.
330
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:49,453
Chapter one--
the obstacle course.
331
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,830
Military efficiency is based
332
00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:54,205
on rigorous physical training.
333
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:57,632
Overcoming physical challenges
takes speed,
334
00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,882
strength, and stamina.
335
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:03,344
Of course, looking where
you're going helps, too.
336
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:09,676
Only the finely-tuned body
can bring to bear
337
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:13,306
that oh, so important
quality of agility!
338
00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:15,935
The long-awaited opportunity
339
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,982
for our citizen soldier
to bring all his effort
340
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:23,277
to bear on the accomplishment
of one mighty quest,
341
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,953
surging spectacularly
to the heights
342
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,872
of athletic prowess,
343
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,371
which are utterly useless
344
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:33,162
if the equipment hadn't been
properly checked beforehand.
345
00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:35,038
[Goofy screaming]
346
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,601
[narrator]
Balance is another attribute
347
00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:49,929
demanded of military service.
348
00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:52,096
One never knows
349
00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:55,103
when a tiny, seemingly
insignificant misstep
350
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:59,146
could send a soldier
catapulting to his doom.
351
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,152
Too heavy [grunts]
352
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:04,744
Successful balance requires
nerves of steel,
353
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,281
catlike reflexes,
354
00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:07,914
and a stern resolution
355
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:11,751
never, ever to be caught off-guard.
356
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:15,120
[Goofy screaming]
357
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:20,593
[Pete] Oh, baby, come to Papa.
358
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,760
A super V-8 with glass packs,
359
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:26,509
double-charged carbs,
24-valve mean machine.
360
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,603
You're gonna be fun during rush hour.
361
00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:31,218
And to think this honey is obsolete.
362
00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:33,516
It's you and me, sweetie.
363
00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:36,347
Nothin' and nobody's stopping me
364
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,606
from making you a star
365
00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:41,148
and selling a lot of RVs.
366
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:43,282
[Goofy screaming]
367
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,199
Hiya, Petey.
368
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,994
Ah-hyuck! Nice catch.
369
00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:55,868
Goof, what in the name
of olive drab undies
370
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,205
are you doin' here?
371
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,630
[Bob] He's very good at surprisin' people.
372
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:01,839
But the question is,
373
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:04,051
what are you doin' here, nephew?
374
00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:08,723
Pete, why are you hanging
around here dressed
375
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:11,142
like a boy scout
with delusions of grandeur?
376
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:14,851
'Cause I need a tank
for my sales campaign!
377
00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:17,483
A likely story.
Why should I believe it?
378
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:19,942
Because, Captain Kidd,
379
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:22,821
you've believed everything else
I've told you.
380
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,779
What's your dad talking about?
381
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,779
I'm his kid, not his interpreter.
382
00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:28,821
Well, I'll tell you
what I'm talking about.
383
00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:33,077
Peg wanted me to make General
Over-the-hill here feel useful,
384
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,199
and it was driving me nutso!
385
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:39,209
Not as long a drive
as you might suppose.
386
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:43,419
So I convinced old
red, white, and blue-blood
387
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,513
he was needed elsewhere.
388
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:49,008
He thought I was
from military intelligence.
389
00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:51,432
Now that's a pretty scary concept.
390
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,061
You mean there's no emergency?
391
00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:56,469
You were the emergency, pal.
392
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,269
And I solved you.
393
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,311
Should have known you'd end up here
394
00:17:00,395 --> 00:17:02,305
with all the other obsolete hardware.
395
00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:07,359
Oh, sure. Where else can an old soldier go
396
00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:10,074
when an RV salesman
makes him look like an idiot?
397
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,066
-[Max] General, wait up!
-[Pete] Uncle Bob!
398
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:15,158
Kinda tough on the old guy,
weren't you, Petey?
399
00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:17,293
He knows I was only funnin' him.
400
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,250
Old warhorses are experts
on foolin' around.
401
00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:21,921
Oh, I don't know, Petey.
402
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,422
Never mind him, Goofster.
403
00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:25,631
Let's see if we can get this tank started.
404
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:31,588
Talk to him.
405
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,218
Why don't you talk to him?
406
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:35,063
He's your uncle, bonehead.
407
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:36,558
Oh, yeah.
408
00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,482
[stutters] Hi, Uncle Bob.
409
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,189
Oh, boy! Brilliant!
410
00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:42,849
Wish I'd said that.
411
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:45,899
Don't be so hard on him, Max.
412
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:49,322
Nothing anyone can say
can make the truth a lie.
413
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:53,532
But you are a great soldier,
aren't you, Uncle Bob?
414
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:56,786
I guess I'm never gonna
get the chance to find out.
415
00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:00,712
When are you gonna open this banner?
416
00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:02,369
[Pete] All in good time.
417
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:05,037
First I gotta get this mama runnin'.
418
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:08,416
But the manual says you gotta
twist the doohickey--
419
00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:11,005
I don't need any blankety-blank manual!
420
00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:13,969
[engine starts]
421
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,764
What'd I tell you?
422
00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:19,015
Now it says you gotta be careful
driving this thing.
423
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:23,850
Oh, button up. A used-car salesman
can drive anything with wheels on it.
424
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:27,978
But, Petey, a tank hasn't got wheels.
425
00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:29,438
[Pete] Quiet, you goof!
426
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,487
Can't you see I'm tryin' to steer?
427
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:36,067
Petey! Stop! Help!
428
00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:39,289
I would if I could, but I can't!
429
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,120
Whoa!
430
00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:43,745
Look out, Petey!
431
00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:46,252
Whoa!
432
00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:48,496
[Goofy] Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
433
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:59,175
Gawrsh! I'm lucky this tower was here.
434
00:18:59,264 --> 00:19:01,604
-[cracking]
-Oopsie.
435
00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:04,353
What is goin' on around here?
436
00:19:04,436 --> 00:19:05,766
I don't know what's goin' on,
437
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:07,614
but I know what's comin' down.
438
00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:10,033
Whoa, big feet!
439
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:12,278
Fall back!
440
00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:15,992
Pop, are you OK?
441
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:19,162
Sure. The ground broke my fall.
442
00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:21,082
You broke the tower, too.
443
00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:24,542
What is goin' on around here, Goof?
444
00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:25,792
[engine roar]
445
00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:27,254
That is.
446
00:19:32,047 --> 00:19:35,127
[Pete] Help!
447
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:37,386
Pete's havin' a little trouble
with his tank.
448
00:19:37,469 --> 00:19:38,849
That machine's a killer
449
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,468
if you don't know what you're doing.
450
00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:42,467
You gotta do something!
451
00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:44,887
You're the only one who can save him!
452
00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:50,271
You kids call Peg and get home!
453
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:52,317
Goofy and I have a job to do.
454
00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:56,702
Wow, P.J.! Your uncle's
even braver than I thought.
455
00:19:57,238 --> 00:20:00,078
[Pete screaming]
456
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:01,867
Help!
457
00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:03,541
[Goofy] Hang on, Petey boy.
458
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,160
We're comin'!
459
00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:07,078
Faster, Goofy! Faster!
460
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,577
Whatever you do,
461
00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:10,417
watch out for the potholes!
462
00:20:10,502 --> 00:20:12,342
Right! [gasps]
463
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,130
Found one! Ah-hyuck!
464
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,224
Whoa!
465
00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:18,182
[shouting]
466
00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:20,470
I hate this like the dickens.
467
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,060
Uh-oh.
468
00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:26,812
You're a general.
469
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,773
Order this thing to stop!
470
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,016
Hmm.
471
00:20:31,106 --> 00:20:32,226
Steering's jammed.
472
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:33,685
Brakes burned out.
473
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:35,237
I know that! I know that!
474
00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:37,778
So we simply turn off the engine.
475
00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:41,775
Oh, yeah. The engine. I knew that.
476
00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:45,698
[all] Whoa!
477
00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:49,869
So what does the manual say now,
Mr. Brass hat?
478
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:53,210
The manual doesn't
cover this particular situation.
479
00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:54,844
I shoulda known.
480
00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:57,423
But a trained soldier
knows exactly what to do.
481
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,427
No. No. You'll smoosh us!
482
00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:01,089
Hold it, Pete.
483
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:03,097
Uncle Bob knows what he's doing.
484
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:07,767
[all shouting]
485
00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:13,398
This little dollar went to market.
486
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,861
This little dollar stayed home.
487
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:16,782
[man] Look! Up in the sky!
488
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:17,940
[man 2] It's a bird!
489
00:21:18,028 --> 00:21:19,028
[man 3] It's a plane!
490
00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:21,202
[man 4] It's Porky Pete.
He's flyin' a tank!
491
00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:22,411
[man 5] I want an RV from that guy.
492
00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:25,832
Wait! Don't go! We can make a deal. Hey!
493
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,330
[whining]
494
00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:35,964
Nice shot, Uncle Bob.
495
00:21:36,087 --> 00:21:38,257
Piece of cake for a trained soldier.
496
00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:41,470
"Nice shot, Uncle Bob." Nice shot?
497
00:21:41,551 --> 00:21:44,141
Not only did he almost kill us,
498
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:45,760
he wrecked my business.
499
00:21:45,847 --> 00:21:47,177
Pete! Pete! Pete!
500
00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:48,677
[crowd chanting] Pete! Pete! Pete!
501
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,098
Pete! Pete! Pete!
502
00:21:50,226 --> 00:21:51,266
Pete! Pete! Pete!
503
00:21:51,394 --> 00:21:52,694
Looks to me
504
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:55,022
like the general's not only saved you,
505
00:21:55,148 --> 00:21:56,018
he's saved your business.
506
00:21:56,149 --> 00:21:57,729
Huh?
507
00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:01,647
Uh, general, what can I say?
508
00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:03,911
Just call me Uncle Bob.
509
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:07,040
You were right, Goof!
This guy really sells.
510
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,450
Well, you know what they say:
511
00:22:09,788 --> 00:22:11,918
"Old soldiers never buy,
512
00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:14,918
but they sure can
trade away." Ah-hyuck!
513
00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:18,632
♪ Gimme a beat ♪
514
00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:46,485
Yeah!
35150
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