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1
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Ah-hyuck!
2
00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:04,297
♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪
3
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♪ Like father, like son ♪
4
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,587
♪ You're always number one ♪
5
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:09,835
[both] Yes!
6
00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:11,176
♪ There's buddies
There's pals ♪
7
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:12,101
Yeah!
8
00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:14,388
♪ You always seem to work things out ♪
9
00:00:14,472 --> 00:00:16,642
♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪
10
00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:18,688
♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪
11
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Whoa!
12
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♪ A real good time ♪
13
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:22,437
Aah!
14
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:24,022
♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪
15
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:26,187
♪ And we'll always stick together ♪
16
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,686
♪ Always stick together ♪
17
00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:29,357
♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪
18
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:31,656
♪ The best of friends forever ♪
19
00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:35,286
♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪
20
00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:39,328
♪ We're always ready to roll ♪
21
00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:41,084
♪ Now gimme a beat ♪
22
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,286
♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪
23
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:44,875
♪ And we always stick together ♪
24
00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:45,961
Gawrsh!
25
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,506
♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪
26
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:50,259
♪ The best of friends forever ♪
27
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,638
♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪
28
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,310
♪ Come along and join the fun ♪
29
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:56,927
♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪
30
00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:58,845
♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪
31
00:00:58,933 --> 00:00:59,853
Yeah!
32
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,190
[clock ticking]
33
00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:13,988
[ticking gets louder]
34
00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:24,747
[bell rings]
35
00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:28,297
[both] Summer vacation!
36
00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:35,390
Gonna play video games
till our fingers won't flex.
37
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,680
Gonna watch movies till our eyes bug out.
38
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:38,854
-Fishin'!
-Comics!
39
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,022
-Campin' out!
-Fun!
40
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,100
Thrills!
41
00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:43,524
[both] Three months of freedom!
42
00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:46,362
It just ain't fair.
43
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,529
Do I get any fun and thrills?
44
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,688
No. Gotta work till I croak.
45
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,107
That'll be 50 bucks!
46
00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:53,945
Little dips get to play all summer.
47
00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:56,200
Lucky if I get a few hours to myself.
48
00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:59,702
Plus tax!
I ain't had a lunch break in 15 years.
49
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,956
Plus labor! Hyped so many cars,
50
00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:03,668
I got gas on the brain
and blisters on my tongue.
51
00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:05,078
Plus postage and handling.
52
00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:07,086
Got to bring home the bacon.
Plus inventory charge!
53
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:09,588
Keep the dog in kibble...
Plus inflationary upkeep.
54
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:10,841
...and the kids in blue jeans.
55
00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:12,632
Plus overcharge on the surcharge.
56
00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:15,176
This job's killing me. That's 377 bucks!
57
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:18,350
Gawrsh! All I got's 250.
58
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,142
Next!
59
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:22,483
Ah-hyuck! Gee! A discount!
60
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:24,309
Ah-hyuck! Thanks, Petey.
61
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:28,904
What a guy. Short-changed in life,
and still gives a customer a break.
62
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:32,646
Does Petey get a break? No. 10 bucks!
63
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,236
Can Petey even take one day off?
64
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,160
No. Plus federal tax!
65
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:39,829
Fishing season opens tomorrow,
but can Petey go? No!
66
00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:42,499
Petey's gotta stay here
and mind the store.
67
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:45,919
And state tax and city
tax and carpet tacks and--
68
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,879
Or do I?
69
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,498
Whoa!
70
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:53,626
Not if I had somebody to
mind the store for me.
71
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,966
-OK. First the arcade.
-Then the movies.
72
00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:59,642
-Couple of rounds of goony golf!
-Read comics till 2 a.m.
73
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,011
Then tomorrow--
74
00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:02,767
[both] Fishin' season!
75
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:07,193
[Pete] P.J.!
76
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:10,110
[Max] Aw, not now!
77
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,480
Look, whatever dad wants,
I'll get out of it.
78
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:15,197
I'll be back in 15 minutes. Promise.
79
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,698
OK. I'll wait.
80
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:28,210
Ack! Oof! Eep! Urmf! Olp!
81
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,211
Ack! Oof!
82
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:32,302
You bellowed for me, Dad?
Dad! Are you OK.?
83
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:35,469
Of course I'm OK.
W-W-Why wouldn't I be OK.?
84
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:38,088
I feel great! Picture of health.
Brblbrblbrbl!
85
00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:39,756
Dad! What's wrong?
86
00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:42,354
Why, nothing, son. I'm fine.
87
00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:44,720
Whoa! Ee! Aah! Pllbt!
88
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,812
You can't con me. I'm your son!
What gives?
89
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,555
OK, I'll tell ya.
90
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:54,227
But you gotta promise
not to breathe a word!
91
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:56,947
I've been suffering
palpitations of the alter-ego
92
00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:58,818
with a twitchy-witchy-wabi
and a floy-floy.
93
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,065
-What's that?
-You don't want to know.
94
00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:05,117
It starts with tickles in the ears,
first sign of degenerative earwax-ola.
95
00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:06,413
Next thing you know,
96
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:10,166
your earlobes start flakin' off!
97
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,380
Aah! Quick! Call a doctor!
98
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,130
It's no use!
99
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,415
What I got, they ain't even heard of!
100
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:19,627
No! We gotta do something!
101
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,849
Don't worry about me, son.
102
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:30,849
Just take care of your mom and sis
and poor little Chainsaw!
103
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,897
[sobbing]
104
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,194
Me? B-But I'm just a kid.
105
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,237
My kid!
106
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:42,870
And when I'm away,
you gotta wear the pants, see?
107
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:48,579
Bring home the bacon,
take the wheel of Honest Pete's Used Cars!
108
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,377
Me? Sell cars?
109
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,836
Dad, I can't even drive yet!
110
00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:57,259
You wouldn't want your mom
to have to scrub floors
111
00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:58,759
and Pistol to peddle pencils
112
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:02,800
and Chainsaw to pull sleds
in the great white north, would you?
113
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:06,006
No! No! OK. What do you want me to do?
114
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:08,767
Well, I'm glad you asked.
115
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,770
Your pop's gonna teach
you everything I know
116
00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,352
about the car biz, which is plenty.
117
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:15,611
I'll have you selling like a pro
by tomorrow morning.
118
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:16,940
Ha ha!
119
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,107
[sigh]
120
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,244
[ring]
121
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,736
[ring]
122
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:28,827
Hello.
123
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:31,874
Peej, where are you? What do you mean
124
00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:33,956
you promised to help your dad
count his lug nuts?
125
00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,172
We were--
126
00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:38,801
OK. OK. I'll meet you at the movies.
127
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,050
Hey, Peej, is everything--
128
00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:41,051
[click, dial tone]
129
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:42,802
Peej? Hello?
130
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:48,428
Rule one, catching a sucker's
like hooking a fish.
131
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,270
Just need the right bait.
132
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:55,114
Madam, you're looking
at the automobile of the future,
133
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,688
the light car.
134
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:58,783
Light on pollution, light on gas.
135
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:02,108
In fact, it doesn't use any gas at all.
136
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,695
Well, that's amazing.
137
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:08,157
She's hooked. Now reel her in.
138
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:16,384
Uh, light on the pocketbook
'cause there's no engine to repair.
139
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:17,998
What? No engine?
140
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,546
Trying to cheat me, eh?
Of all the underhanded--
141
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,920
Ha ha ha! Kid needs his eyes checked.
142
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,428
Now over here...
143
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:27,676
You got our latest
super see-through windshield.
144
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:28,972
Never gets smeared with bugs.
145
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:33,305
And today only, it comes with
free flow-through air conditioning.
146
00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:36,395
Uh, yeah, right.
147
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:40,069
Flow-through rain, flow-through snow,
flow-through bird stuff-- Aah!
148
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,570
No windshield?
149
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:45,742
Of all the low-down,
cheating, disgusting--
150
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:46,742
[whap]
151
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:47,953
Hmph.
152
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,703
Dad, I'm no good at this.
153
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:54,075
Aw, your only problem
is a bad habit of telling the truth.
154
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:58,375
Here. Pete's Golden Rules of Car Sales.
155
00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,800
Memorize that, and by tomorrow morning,
156
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:03,469
you'll be able to sell anything
to anybody!
157
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:07,548
By tomorrow?
Dad, you gotta stick around longer!
158
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:10,055
-[coughing]
-Cough! Hack!
159
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,178
Gargle! [gasp]
160
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:15,265
No time. Got intense stinkitis
of the tonsils chords!
161
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:17,602
Means I'm rotten to the core
and fadin' fast!
162
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:21,397
Without you,
your mom will be mopping mud holes
163
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:24,533
and Pistol will be selling day-old socks
164
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:29,321
and Chainsaw will be working
as a ringmaster in a flea circus!
165
00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:30,527
[sobbing]
166
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:31,737
Oh...
167
00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:37,325
OK. Rule five.
168
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:39,995
"For every junk car, there's a pretzel,
a gum drop,
169
00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:40,995
a jelly bean?
170
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:43,796
Oh, yeah. "A sucker". OK.
Rule 6. Shoes 'em or b-b-blues--
171
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:44,920
schmooze 'em or lose 'em".
172
00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:46,676
-[ringing]
-OK, seven.
173
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:49,588
"Truth is for--" Hamburgers?
Hotdogs? "Weenies"!
174
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:51,098
[Max] Who are you calling a weenie?
175
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,929
Huh? Oh, Max, I'm real busy, man.
Call you next week.
176
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,385
Movie? What movie?
177
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,765
The movie me and my best buddy
were supposed to see two hours ago
178
00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:00,193
before we went to Goony Golf,
179
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:02,441
or are you going to cancel that, too?
180
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:04,784
Yes-- No, I mean, sorry. I forgot.
181
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:08,029
I-- Oh, yeah-- I promised Pistol
I'd cut her out a thousand paper dolls,
182
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,533
and then I gotta help Chainsaw dig bones.
183
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:10,744
You know how it is.
184
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:14,454
P.J., if you don't want to hang with me
this summer, just say so.
185
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,446
No! I mean yes!
186
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,458
Look, as soon as I get done
doing what I don't want to do,
187
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:19,620
I'll meet you at Golfy Goon.
188
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:20,788
Goony Golf.
189
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,245
Promise!
190
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,955
Great. First I'm losing my dad.
Now I'm losing my best friend.
191
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,297
[snoring]
192
00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:28,592
[humming]
193
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,680
[sniff sniff sniff]
194
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:41,401
Ha ha ha!
195
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,729
Ooh! Got me a big one now!
196
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:51,565
[crashing]
197
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,700
Dad! What's goin' on?
198
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,328
Did ya see that?
199
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,214
Severe ingrown nose hair!
200
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,381
First sign of rampaging
reverse follicle-emia!
201
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:06,250
Your body hair grows inward,
gets tangled in your spine.
202
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:07,918
And everywhere you go, you trip.
203
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,262
[whimpering] I'm fadin' fast.
204
00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:15,264
But at least your mom won't
be scrubbing oil slicks
205
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:17,767
and Pistol won't be selling
empty toothpaste tubes
206
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:21,689
and Chainsaw won't be working
as a herd dog on a bee farm...
207
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,860
'Cause...
208
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:26,435
They got you.
209
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:29,526
Oh...
210
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:39,700
[sighs]
211
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:45,092
[man on radio] Ninety degrees,
and the fishing is easy
212
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:47,338
on the first day of the
season here in Spoonerville,
213
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,550
where it looks like everybody
in town's out on the lake.
214
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:54,182
Oh, man. Open a whole hour already,
and still no customers.
215
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:58,140
My family will be in a soup line
if I don't sell some cars quick.
216
00:09:58,515 --> 00:09:59,845
What would Dad do?
217
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:04,483
OK. Rule 20, "not swimming in suckers?
Grab 'em with a gimmick".
218
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:08,568
I tell you, P.J. would rather
see week-old garbage than me.
219
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:12,860
Ain't his style to chuck a friend.
Something's got to be wrong.
220
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,698
[P.J.] Hurry, hurry,
hurry to Honest Pete's Used Cars!
221
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:20,751
We don't clown around
when it comes to bargains!
222
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:24,669
We'll turn cartwheels
to give you the best deal in town!
223
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,169
Whoa!
224
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,501
All right, Peej, what's goin' on?
225
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,546
On? Nothing's going on.
What could be goin' on?
226
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:31,880
[fake laughing]
227
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,625
I promised I wouldn't,
but I gotta tell somebody!
228
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:35,888
[sobbing]
229
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:39,259
Oh, Max, it's Dad!
230
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:41,557
He's got every disease
nobody's ever even heard of,
231
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,561
and I gotta bring home a bunch of bacon!
232
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,524
His insides are spilling out,
his outsides are growing in,
233
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:49,515
his nose hair's connected
to his thigh bone,
234
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:51,567
and he's a goner!
235
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:54,526
[honking]
236
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,412
Poor Petey!
237
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,238
[ah-ooga]
238
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:02,695
P.J.! I-- I didn't know! I--I--
239
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,998
Oh, P.J., that's awful!
240
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,212
[honking]
241
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:12,924
My family's going down the toilet
because my sales are in the sewer
242
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:17,176
'cause I can't sell cars
to save my tailpipe!
243
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:21,849
Don't worry! We'll help ya out!
244
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,479
[ah-ooga]
245
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:29,649
Yeah. What you need's
a good publicity gimmick!
246
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,191
[honking]
247
00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:35,454
A car dealer down the street
once wrestled an alligator!
248
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,700
[ah-ooga]
249
00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:42,792
Nah. I lose
when I wrestle my little sister!
250
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,703
[honking]
251
00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:46,958
What if Petey did it?
252
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,710
[sniffle]
253
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:52,422
Said he wanted some thrills in his life!
254
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,260
[ah-ooga]
255
00:11:55,340 --> 00:12:00,350
OK!! His minutes are numbered anyway!
256
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:02,561
[honking]
257
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,270
[all wailing]
258
00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:10,188
-[honking]
-[ah-ooga]
259
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:13,399
[Pete] Of all days to oversleep.
260
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,573
Lake'll be all fished out
before I get there.
261
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,282
[man on radio]
And the biggest catch so far
262
00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:19,862
is a 20-foot speedboat
on a tangled fishing line.
263
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,408
And this just in.
264
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:24,581
It's special event day
at Pete's Used Cars.
265
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:25,581
Huh?
266
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:29,252
Honest Pete himself
is going to mud-wrestle Bulldozer Bob,
267
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:32,462
get shot out of an elephant's trunk
wearing a body suit of balloons,
268
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:34,804
anything if you'll buy a car.
269
00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:37,259
Ha! That's my boy!
270
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:41,300
Rule 19, promise 'em everything,
give 'em nothing.
271
00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:42,796
On my way. Catch ya later. Bye.
272
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:44,847
No. We'll catch you.
273
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:48,311
This is the federal department
of truth in advertising.
274
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:50,603
And if you don't do those stunts
you promised,
275
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:55,607
why, you're going to jail
for false ads on the public airwaves.
276
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,566
Huh?
277
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:04,197
But my condition.
278
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:08,544
I got acute shudders of the kneecaps
and jellyitis of the toenails.
279
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,461
But, Dad,
you can fix up the family for life.
280
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:14,791
The family? Oh, yeah.
Of course. Good point.
281
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:18,838
Uh, Goof, will you take my place...
282
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:20,930
For Peg and the kids?
283
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:24,099
Gawrsh. Thought you wanted some thrills.
284
00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:25,429
But if I can help--
285
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:29,063
Now hold it.
The law allows no substitutions.
286
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,522
It's you or else.
287
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:35,323
OK. I'll do it.
288
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:40,108
Ohh. Wait till I tell Mom and Sis
you went out in a shower of bone chips.
289
00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:42,855
We'll never forget you, Dad.
290
00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:45,907
Hey, Pal, make you a deal.
291
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,992
Go easy
and I'll give you a free set of tires.
292
00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:49,328
Grragh!
293
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:51,582
OK, OK! A whole car!
294
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,544
A chauffeur. Aah!
295
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:56,745
Look at it this way, Peej.
He'll go quick and painless.
296
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:57,996
Bumpity, bumpity, bumpity, bumpity...
297
00:13:58,088 --> 00:13:59,088
Quick, anyway.
298
00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:03,682
What a show!
Fifty bucks for the junk truck!
299
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:04,590
Sold!
300
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,718
-Thirty for the rusted-out Jeep.
-Deal!
301
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:09,135
-Twenty-five for the stripped jalopy.
-I'll take it.
302
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:13,564
Thirty bucks? Twenty-five bucks?
Stop! You're giving those cars away!
303
00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,355
Yeah! Isn't he doing great?
304
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:17,688
Come on, the elephant's waiting.
305
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:20,994
And now for you, the car-buying public,
306
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:24,029
presenting the world's
first human satellite,
307
00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:27,994
my dad... Honest Pete!
308
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,618
Give this all up! What about my condition?
309
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:34,075
Aah! Whoa!
310
00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:35,205
[cheering]
311
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,711
[sniffling] What a guy.
312
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:41,344
Going out with a bang
to assure his family's future.
313
00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:43,553
-Twenty bucks for the convertible.
-Here you go.
314
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,303
-Ten for the station wagon.
-Done deal.
315
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,545
-I'll take one.
-Hey, all yours.
316
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:50,017
Hey! Hey! Out here!
317
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:51,848
[crash]
318
00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:57,355
Wow! Still alive!
Hurry, Peej, let's get the squid.
319
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,278
What squid?
320
00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:02,568
The live one you're gonna swallow.
321
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:04,822
No day off's worth this.
322
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,986
Uh, hey! Why, lookie here.
323
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:12,535
Miracle of miracles. I'm cured! Yeah!
324
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:14,960
[popping]
325
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,420
Poor guy thinks he's OK.
326
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,587
Must be sufferin'
advanced reverse brainitis.
327
00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:24,918
Yeah. Better let him spend
his last seconds at home.
328
00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:27,178
Uhhh! Heavy guy!
329
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:30,970
Hey, hey, hey! Got to do it.
Didn't you hear me? I say I'm cured!
330
00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:33,806
I said I'm cured! I don't wanna go.
331
00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:38,482
I just hope I made enough dough
to keep my family outta the bread line.
332
00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:42,228
Mom, is this enough?
333
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:43,817
Enough for what, honey?
334
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:47,782
Enough to keep you
from buffing bugs off blimps
335
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,744
and Pistol from selling used braces
336
00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:53,584
and Chainsaw from having to work
as a seeing-eye dog for bats.
337
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:56,501
P.J., what are you talking about?
338
00:15:56,831 --> 00:16:00,711
Well, since dad's sick and
I gotta wear his pants,
339
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:05,474
is it enough to buy you a bunch of bacon?
340
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:06,588
What?
341
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:13,014
He said his body's turning to trash
and I gotta sell buckets of cars
342
00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:16,598
or you'll all go down
the garbage disposal!
343
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:20,185
So that's what his fishing gear
was doing in the living room.
344
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,611
Got your dad to bed.
345
00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:26,611
What a slugger.
Had to fight him all the way.
346
00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:29,275
[sniffle] 'Fraid the end is near.
347
00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:30,874
You bet it is.
348
00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:34,909
The only thing wrong with that
rotten pineapple rind is fishing fever.
349
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,910
Is that where you break out in fish hooks
and your limbs scale off?
350
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:41,077
It's when your paint can of a father
tricks you into doing his job
351
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,917
so he can take the day off fishing!
352
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,753
-Tricked us?
-What?
353
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:48,338
-He wouldn't.
-He could, he would, he did.
354
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:51,719
Aah! Aah!
355
00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:55,563
Now, now, now.
Fishing fever is a very stubborn disease.
356
00:16:55,640 --> 00:17:00,190
So I'm afraid the cure
will have to be drastic.
357
00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:08,361
Peg? P.J.?
358
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:14,124
Ahh! Feeling great.
Oh, yes, sir, it's a miracle.
359
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,950
Vim and vigor, both of 'em. That's me. Ha!
360
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:20,617
Just chomping at the sales
slip to get back to work.
361
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:23,037
Peg? Anybody home?
362
00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:24,956
[doorbell chimes]
363
00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:29,626
Gaaa!
364
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:32,046
Hey! Who are you? Let go of me!
365
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:33,925
Peg!
366
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:39,017
Oh, Goofy and the boys told me
about your terrible condition.
367
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,140
My what?
368
00:17:40,352 --> 00:17:44,192
So I'm sending you to a quick cure clinic
for the hopeless.
369
00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:48,572
No, no, no! You don't understand!
370
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:52,489
[P.J.] We interrupt this program
371
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:56,412
for a special announcement
from P.J.'s Used Cars!
372
00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:59,913
Where we've got down-home prices
for down-home pocketbooks.
373
00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:04,326
Every, I'm talking every,
car is on sale for only five bucks.
374
00:18:04,376 --> 00:18:05,376
Back to you, Pop.
375
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:11,045
Oh, no, no. Don't look now.
Your eyes can't take the daylights.
376
00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:14,052
Wait a minute. Stop. Let me go! Aah!
377
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:19,851
I'm telling you, the only thing wrong
with me is my profit margin!
378
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:22,983
Hmm. Hmm. Mm-hmm.
379
00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:26,061
A clear case of terminal lazy-ola,
380
00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:29,437
systemis shirk-itis,
and galloping boondoggle-emia.
381
00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:34,235
Not a second to lose.
What this patient needs is...
382
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:38,739
The heebie jeebian
blood purification treatment.
383
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:42,207
We'll spin those germs
right outta your pores.
384
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:43,118
Whoa!
385
00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:45,956
Time to make his bottom line
break out in a rash. Hit it!
386
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:49,922
[P.J. on radio]
Buy now, drive later at P.J.'s used cars!
387
00:18:50,005 --> 00:18:51,755
Sure, man, bring your piggy banks
388
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:56,050
and get your high school dragsters
for two bucks each!
389
00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:58,676
Two bucks! I gotta stop him!
390
00:18:59,431 --> 00:19:01,851
Let me down!
391
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:07,306
Hmm, extreme shiftyitis of the eyeballs.
392
00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,067
The treatment failed.
393
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:11,319
Which makes him a perfect guinea pig--
394
00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:16,361
uh, uh, patient
for the east Albanian earthworm pack.
395
00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:18,068
[earthworms chatter]
396
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:21,238
Let me out. Hee hee ha ha. Yaa!
397
00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:24,371
[sputtering]
398
00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:26,036
Now, now.
399
00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:28,844
Squirming around
will just make the earthworms angry.
400
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:31,048
Now let's really make him squirm.
401
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:33,545
Dollar, dollar, dollar.
402
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:38,091
Every car now one dollar
at P.J.'s Used Cars!
403
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:39,888
Buy extras to furnish your home!
404
00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:41,681
Wow your friends with a four-door sofa,
405
00:19:41,765 --> 00:19:43,385
-a convertible coffee table!
-What?
406
00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:44,805
Let me outta here!
407
00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:48,233
Uh-oh. The patient is becoming agitated.
408
00:19:48,313 --> 00:19:53,653
No choice but to resort
to the pre-Colombian putrid purge.
409
00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,531
Vinegar, mustard, and cod liver oil.
410
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:58,743
Cures one in every 10,000
411
00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:01,083
and pretty much finishes off
everybody else.
412
00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:05,079
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
Buy a car for the price-- Are you ready?
413
00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:08,333
Of a lemonade!
I am serious as a pimple on prom night.
414
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:09,576
10% off if you get a six-pack.
415
00:20:09,668 --> 00:20:14,838
[coughing] I'll be ruined!
Somebody do something!
416
00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:18,683
We've done all we can.
You have to go home and await the results.
417
00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:23,809
Unless you don't make it home.
418
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,480
Please, please, please, please.
419
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,308
You gotta drive me to the car lot.
420
00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:30,314
I'll do anything! I'll do anything!
I'll do anything!
421
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:35,647
Sorry. It's not on my way to the cemetery.
422
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:36,735
Ah-hyuck!
423
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,280
[heart beating rapidly]
424
00:20:43,868 --> 00:20:47,828
Help! Help! Somebody! Let me out. Help!
425
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:51,674
Why, Petey! Ah-hyuck! You're cured!
426
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:54,210
Just hope you're strong enough
to take the bad news.
427
00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:56,965
Your car lot crashed, bellied up,
and went outta business.
428
00:20:57,716 --> 00:20:58,836
What?
429
00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:06,518
[radiator hissing]
430
00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:19,777
[Max, P.J. wailing]
431
00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:24,623
Aw, buck up, Peej, you did your best.
432
00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:25,791
P.J.!
433
00:21:25,869 --> 00:21:29,459
Dad? Oh, thank goodness you're well!
434
00:21:29,539 --> 00:21:31,999
He tried to fill your pants,
but he couldn't.
435
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:34,463
And now mom's scrubbing cement
off the concrete.
436
00:21:34,544 --> 00:21:36,674
Yeah, and Pistol's selling used tissues.
437
00:21:36,755 --> 00:21:40,005
And Chainsaw's giving doggy rides to cats,
just like you said!
438
00:21:40,842 --> 00:21:45,262
Not while I'm man of the house.
Hand over those pants.
439
00:21:45,722 --> 00:21:49,482
Whatever gave you the kooky idea
a kid could run this place?
440
00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:52,479
Now am-scray! Go fishing or something.
441
00:21:52,562 --> 00:21:55,192
I won't be needing you
for another 30 years.
442
00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:58,992
[Max and P.J.] Three months of freedom!
443
00:21:59,069 --> 00:22:01,109
-[Max] First we'll go fishing.
-[P.J.] Then we'll watch videos.
444
00:22:01,196 --> 00:22:03,106
[Max] Yeah, yeah.
Then we'll go to the rock concert.
445
00:22:03,198 --> 00:22:05,658
Hmm. Something's not adding up here.
446
00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:09,786
-OK. Two boys, plus one loving wife...
-[calculator keys tapping]
447
00:22:09,871 --> 00:22:13,041
...times four doctors,
take away the undertaker--
448
00:22:13,124 --> 00:22:14,044
Nah.
449
00:22:16,086 --> 00:22:17,166
♪ Gimme a beat ♪
450
00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:19,263
[theme music playing]
451
00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:45,202
Yeah!
33248
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