Original subtitles

Hey, Wratherheads! Today's "Would You Wrather" is a shout-out

to two of your favorite fairy tales.

It was a special request from one of our younger viewers.

This one's for you...

-Mongo? -Cooper, come on. Take off the glasses.

You'll scar a kid for life calling him Mongo.

His real name is...

Oh. Sorry, Mongo.

Anyway, Cami's Little Red Riding Hood, and I'm...

(in deep voice) the Big Bad Wolf, in a big bad nightgown.

And for our next fairy-tale duo,

first up, we have Jack.

As in Jack and the beans that talk.

Beanstalk, Ollie.

I know. I just said that.

The wolf's not too bright.

Fred: Get to the real star!

And then, there's the Giant.

Fee-fi-fo-fum!

This chair's too small for my muscular bum!

For the record, he wrote that.

In this Would You Wrather, you get to choose

your own fairy-tale ending.

Would you rather see Red Riding Hood pelt

the Big Bad Wolf with muffins from her basket?

FYI, Mom baked the muffins.

(thudding)

Or see Jack

fire magic paint-covered beans at the Giant?

(chair creaks)

Guys, a little help, please!

Hold it right there!

Are you wearing my nightgown and shower cap?

Uh, also your leg warmers.

It's chilly.

And is your hood made out of my new dress?

Uh...

So, if we've answered all your questions, we kind of got a show to finish.

Oh, you're gonna finish it.

-(screaming) -(machines popping)

-(laughing) -And you thought

Would You Wrathers were pointless!

-(popping) -(whimpering, yelling)

(theme song playing)

♪ Would you rather lose your phone ♪

♪ Or give up pizza for a month? ♪

♪ Share your diary with the world ♪

♪ Or have to eat it for your lunch? ♪

♪ Sing out of tune to your friends ♪

♪ Or trip and fall into your crush? ♪

♪ Shave your head, paint it red ♪

♪ Or use your dog's toothbrush? ♪

♪ We need a little Q and A ♪

♪ Come on, Wratherheads, play along ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Would you rather do that ♪

♪ Would you rather do that? ♪

♪ Don't matter what we do ♪

♪ We're doing it with you ♪

♪ I'd rather do that? ♪

♪ Ask the world ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Or would you rather just dance ♪

♪ Or would you rather just dance? ♪

♪ No matter what we do ♪

♪ We're doing it with you ♪

♪ I'd rather do that ♪

Ask the world!

♪ Would you rather do that? ♪

Good job making the salad, Ollie!

I see you put a lot of time into it.

Jenna: Ollie, that is your father's good watch!

You said I could have it.

When you're ready! It's way too big now!

Please, it fits great. Oops!

There you are.

Ollie, please put it back. You're gonna lose it.

I would never lose it.

Dad taught me how to tell time on this watch.

Wow, it's V:30. We should eat.

Jenna, let the boy wear the watch. Our little guy's maturing.

Just last week, he blew his nose... into a tissue.

I still have it! Wanna see?

Stop asking me that.

OK, Ollie, you can hold onto the watch,

but I'm trusting you.

Sweet! Thanks, Fred.

High five.

No.

Dinner's ready!

-So, how was everyone's day? -Great!

I signed up for a pairs skating contest at the rink.

There's a $300 first prize, and I think I found the perfect partner.

Oh, that's funny. I signed up, too!

(others gasp)

You two-- competing?

We're all gonna die!

Anyway, when I win, I'm going to use the money

for a few projects the Environmental Club has planned.

You mean if you win, which you won't because I'm gonna win

and buy the NPC Dancers some new warm-up gear.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.

You two competing against each other never ends well.

-That's not true. -Name one time.

Charades, two nights ago.

We got to meet the police!

And let's not forget when you both had to sell magazines for school.

You signed us up for 10 different subscriptions that nobody wanted!

Speak for yourself. I'm hooked on Senior Ladies Living.

We get it. Cami and I will make sure to handle ourselves

in a more mature fashion this time around.

Of course we will,

especially since my costume is gonna be 10 times better than Charlotte's.

Theme! I need a theme!

(grunts)

What's going on?

We're not playing charades again, are we?

Worse. Your sisters are competing in a pairs figure skating contest.

Aah, great. They're both gonna fight over me to be their partner.

Two hungry sisters and only one slice of Cooper.

How will I choose?

Go with Cami. You can't outrun her.

Good one, Fred!

-(slaps) -Ew! I touched it! I touched it!

-...448, 449-- -Hey, guys.

Ugh! Jenna, you made me lose count!

One, two, three...

How was the arcade, Ollie?

I was on fire today!

Shots were popped, moles were whacked.

Look at all these tickets I won!

I had to pull Fred in to help me count them.

Impressive. You must have over

-a thousand ticket-- -Jenna!

(groans)

One, two, three, four...

OK. I'll leave you two alone.

Aah!

What time is it? I need to be home before sundown.

Said ever vampire ever.

And every person who enjoys ending the day in the bathtub,

listening to cool jazz and watching the sunset.

OK, that's even creepier.

Oh no! My dad's watch, it's gone!

-Your mom said you were gonna lose it. -Just help me look!

(grunting)

What are you two doing?

Uh... cleaning?

Give me something I can believe.

It's true. This dirty old thing needed some TLC.

Come on, Jenna, when'd you stop caring?

When you started sneaking your socks into my laundry.

The watch isn't here.

It must've fallen off at Kangaroo Jim's!

Don't worry, buddy. I'll help you look in the morning.

In the meantime, tell your mom to run these through again.

(sniffs) They still smell like potatoes.

So, you and Charlotte are dusting off

the old skates to battle it out on the ice, huh?

-Yeah! I'm so gonna-- -Before you ask me to be your partner...

-I wasn't gonna ask. -Cami, don't beg.

You have to understand that I'm in a tough spot.

Charlotte is gonna want me to be her partner, too.

-She can have you. -Here we go with the guilt.

Oh great, she's coming. This is so awkward.

-Hey, guys! -Please don't pressure me.

(groans) I haven't decided which one of you gets me as a partner yet.

For the skating contest? Oh, don't worry about me.

I'm about to secure my partner and he is amazing!

Aw, I'm not sure amazing. I mean, I do have nice cheekbones--

Here he is! Hey, Jonathan! Super exciting news.

I found a fun activity for the two of us to do together!

Cool! (gasps)

Are we finally gonna put funny wigs on dogs?

N-No.

The pairs skating contest. You're gonna be my partner!

Uh... this is kind of awkward.

I actually already promised somebody else.

You're skating with another girl?

Not another girl!

-Cami! -Surprise.

You're skating with my sister?

For the record, I am also offended.

Charlotte, I didn't know you wanted to do it.

So yesterday, when Cami asked me, I said yes.

All right, lace up, Dixon. We need to go practice.

Sorry, but I gave Cami my word.

But that doesn't mean I won't make time to put wigs on dogs--

We're not doing that!

-I cannot believe her! -I know.

-Why would she pick Dixon when she has me? -Because she wants to win.

For the record, I am offended again.

Well, I wanna win, too, so, Cooper, you're my partner.

Whoa, you just asked Dixon. So, I'm your second choice,

and you expect me to be OK with that?

-Fine then. I guess I'll just go with-- -OK, OK, I'll do it.

But only because I wanna prove to both of you

that Cooper Wrather is first-choice material.

Let's do this.

Whoa!

Whoops. Forgot my skates.

Aah!

Hey, Charlotte.

I can't believe Cami chose to partner with Dixon over me.

I just can't believe he accepted her offer.

(scoffs)

You know, just for that, I'm not taking him

to the Bird and Insect Museum this weekend.

That'll show him.

Do we really have to watch this?

Yes! We're scouting our opponent, looking for strengths and weaknesses.

And it's an opportunity to throw an octopus at them.

-But that's a hockey tradition. -Not today!

-Cami and Dixon: Ow! Oh! -(bodies thud)

OK, let's go train.

Uh, shouldn't we go help them?

Oh, you're a sweet, caring boy.

I'll rip that right out of you.

(claps)

Push, push! This will help gain muscle in your legs!

OK, now knock Dixon's face off that sled!

(panting)

I need a break.

Oh. A break?

I see what happened. You're soft and lazy.

Cami saw that and ran in the opposite direction.

-What? No! -It makes sense, though.

Dixon is the captain of your hockey team, right?

You're just the... the co-captain?

Sort of a meaningless title, eh, squishy?

I'm not soft!

Hmm, what? What?

Sorry, I couldn't hear you. Your voice is so... weak.

No, it's not! I'm a bad man!

That's it. Let the anger swell inside. What do you want more than anything?

-I wanna take Cami down! -And how are you going to do that?

Punch me in the face as hard as you can!

What? No. What is wrong with you?

I don't know. I'm just really motivated right now!

Let's train! (yells)

Excuse me, sir.

My friend thinks he lost his watch here yesterday.

(in Australian accent) Crikey! All we found yesterday was...

half a hot dog and a single sock.

Yeah, those are mine, too.

-But no watch? -Sorry, mate. Didn't find--

(in normal voice) Ugh, do you mind if I just talk in my regular voice?

I hate doing the accent.

(spits)

Anyway, we didn't find a watch. Take care now.

Fred, wait. I remember now.

After I crushed it at Skee-Ball,

I did a swan dive into the ball pit. That's where it must be!

You're not supposed to dive into the ball pit.

You're not supposed to do a lot of things in the ball pit,

but let's live in the real world, shall we?

Anyway, we'll just go take a quick look.

Nope!

We're closed for a private party.

Only people allowed in today are employees and special guests.

I didn't wanna have to do this, but I'm going over your head.

I'm taking full control of this facility.

Is that a middle school hall monitor badge?

I see I now have your attention.

You need to leave.

Fred! What are we gonna do?

Every memory I have of my dad, he's wearing that watch.

Don't worry, buddy.

I'll think of something.

We are getting you that watch.

Hey, girls!

-Hi, Mom. -Hello.

I could use an extra pair of hands.

-I'll help! -I'll help better.

-Wow, you two never wanna help. -(giggling)

-I'll sort the darks. -I'll sort the whites faster.

Glad to see your competition isn't spilling out into our everyday lives.

Um, let go. This goes in the darks.

It's gray. It goes with the whites.

Girls, put down my blouse. This isn't a contest.

-You heard her. Put it down. -You put it down!

-(rips) -(all gasp)

Ooh, Charlotte ripped your blouse.

I told you bad things happen when you two compete!

-Sorry, Mom. -Sorry.

-I'll get the sewing machine. -I'll get it faster!

What am I gonna do with those two?

-(phone chimes) -Livestream alert?

What's up, Wratherheads? It's J-Funk!

-AKA, Coop and Cami's mom. -No, no, no, no, no!

Outta my way!

So, I'm having a little parent dilemma,

and I thought it might be useful to get a kid's point of view. Oh!

Look at that. We're already getting comments.

"Hold the camera higher. We can totally see up your nose."

Ah. Anyway, uh, have you ever been in a competition with a sibling

that caused you to fight over everything else?

So my question is, would you rather

have a parent stop things before the fighting gets worse,

or have them stay out of it and let you learn the lesson on your own?

I am not sure what button to push.

(clicks)

Ugh! Apparently not that one. Uh...

(clicks)

Oh, come on!

(clicks)

-(beeps) -You say leave it alone.

That's what I was thinking. Thanks, guys.

(clicks)

Oh, forget it.

You really think this will work?

Please, it's just some kid's birthday party.

You're gonna fit right in.

And thanks to the gift shop, so am I.

Do you always pay in pennies?

Yes.

Greetings, fellow Kangaroo Jim's employee.

I'm just letting this small child back into the party.

(in Australian accent) After you, mate.

Why thank you, real Kangaroo Jim's employee.

-(snaps) -Ow!

(rattling)

Sorry, everyone. Ball pit's closed for emergency cleaning.

I made a whoopsie.

Very believable.

I use my real life in my work.

(rattling)

(gasps)

Hey! I told you this was a private party!

Now, get out before I call your parents!

We're just looking for my watch.

Louie!

Come get these kids outta here!

Fred: You want me out?

You'll have to carry me out 'cause I am helping a friend!

(rattling)

-(rattling) -Sneakers?

Wait a second. Fred, it's a trick!

That isn't a real kangaroo!

-Get outta here! Shoo! -I'll save you, Fred!

Your attention, please!

The pairs competition will begin in 10 minutes.

We got this. They should just give us first place on style alone.

How cool are our costumes?

Same amount of cool as theirs.

What? Two cowboys in glittery shirts?

Oh, that is not OK.

This ends now!

You took my western idea!

-No, you took mine. -Well, you took my partner!

Yes, I did. I wanted to win.

Cooper: Hey!

You're a disgrace to that fake sheriff's badge.

I deserve that prize. That money is for warm-up clothes for NPC!

No, it's for projects for the Environmental Club!

-It's mine. -It's mine!

(yelling, grunting)

(crowd gasping)

-We should probably stop them. -They're beyond help.

We need to save ourselves.

-(grunting) -(whistle trills)

You two! Knock it off! There's no fighting in figure skating!

(gasps) Great Scott Hamilton!

You've dislodged each other's sequins!

A more heinous crime I can't recall.

You're both disqualified!

-OK, but who's disqualified more? -Out!

Why do we always get like this?

Maybe 'cause we're sisters and we're more alike than we wanna admit.

You're right. We're both perfectionists, and we both hate to lose.

I hate to lose more!

-Cami. -Sorry.

(sighs) I'm sorry, too.

Agree to never enter any more contests against each other?

-Let's shake on it. -(chuckles)

Does this mean the war is over?

Yep. All done.

You guys are off the hook. No more crazy competition. We can go.

Wow. I trained really hard for this.

Me, too. I worked my butt off.

You two go from not picking me

to Charlotte torturing me, and now you tell me

I can't figure skate?

But you heard the judge. He said we're disqualified.

He said you guys were disqualified.

Dixon, shall we?

"Noice."

We have a last-minute entry.

Now skating Cooper Wrather and Jonathan Dixon.

-(music playing) -(cheering)

Let's give these people what they came to see.

Let's skate like no one's watching.

You have locked up a middle school hall monitor!

I hope you don't plan on keeping this job!

Thanks for trying to help.

Sorry you got mixed up in all of this.

Meh. It's not my first time in arcade jail.

Long story.

Well. Which one of you would like to explain

why I got a call from a kangaroo to come pick you up?

Jenna! Thank goodness. Get us out of this cold, dark dungeon!

Or you could just step out yourselves.

Right.

You wanna tell me what's going on?

I lost Dad's watch here yesterday.

Fred was helping me look for it.

I see.

I know I shouldn't have worn it,

but I liked it so much 'cause it reminded me of Dad.

Ollie...

-I have the watch. -What?

I found it

on the floor of the car, where you did lose it.

Oh...

You know, one time when you were a baby,

Dad freaked out because he couldn't find it.

He searched the whole house, and you know where it was?

He was a baby, Jenna, of course he doesn't remember!

Sorry. I think prison has changed me.

It was in your crib.

You liked it so much, you hid it under your blanket.

And when Dad found it,

he laughed and said, "This kid is gonna be trouble on two feet, just like I was."

(chuckles)

Remember that when you wear it.

-Hey, it fits. -(clicks)

I had it resized.

Now, you won't have to worry about losing it.

Thanks, Mom.

This is why I let you wash my socks.

(music playing)

(gasps)

♪ Ooh, ooh... ♪

(impressed murmuring)

(crowd cheering)

-(gasps) -(murmuring)

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

(cheering)

-Not bad! -We trained them well.

The scores are in.

And it looks like our winners, by a landslide,

are Cooper Wrather and Jonathan Dixon.

(cheering)

First choice.

Did you see that?

We can't let him hang that over our heads.

Wanna skate as a pair next year?

We're gonna destroy those chumps!

(squishing)

(splats)

How many of those do you have?

(bell ringing)

Sally! Wait! You forgot your lunch.

-(whistle trills) -No running in the hallways.

Well, well, well.

Kangaroo Jim, we meet again.

You gotta be kidding me. I was just giving my daughter her lunch.

And I was just helping my friend find his watch,

yet I landed in the tank.

It was a toy jungle gym.

Nevertheless, it scarred me.

I still wake up in the middle of the night, screaming.

To be fair, I was doing that beforehand, but that's neither here nor there.

Wait, where'd he go?

-(whistle trills) -We have a runner!

Dixon: Let's skate like no one's watching.