Original subtitles

[whistles]

* Some say I'm just a kid *

* But I stand tall Like a pyramid *

* One day I'll be mythic *

* Read about it In hieroglyphics *

* Ah-ee-ah-ah-oh *

* It's written in the stars, I'm who I'm gonna be *

* I'm takin' on the world This time *

* It's written in the stars, I'm all that I can be *

* I feel the power In my heart *

* It's written in the stars *

[music playing]

[grunting]

It's curtains for you, villain!

'Cause I'm... holding curtains, you see.

Great job, Yosira!

You get full marks on form.

Although your fight puns still need a little work.

Glad to see all my homework is paying off.

Wait. I gave you homework?

Oh, no. I gave myself homework.

Do you understand that, as a student, heh,

homework is your enemy?

I've been reading up on the history of combat,

reviewing alien warfare theory,

andsurprising myself a little

with pop quizzes about the element of surprise.

Hee-yah!

Ow! [gasps] How did you do that?

I dunno. Some things you can't learn from books.

Like instinct. Trusting your gut.

-Thinking for yourself. -Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Can you tell me exactly howI should think when I'm thinking for myself?

Y-You see what's wrong with that question, right?

Can you recommend a video lecture series?

No can do, boo.

You gotta learn it from experience.

-On the job. -[watch beeps]

-What up? -Cleo!

Akila and I discovered something important!

I'll give you a clue-- it has to do with space!

Dude, I thought we weren't doing clues.

Yes, we're doing clues, fun-killer.

OK, guess now! Guess, guess, guess!

Ugh. I'm not gonna guess.

I'll just come back to my room and you can tell me.

[Brian]How are you so bad at giving clues?

[Akila]How areyou so bad at having fun?

All right, duty calls.

Wanna continue our combat training tomorrow?

Actually, I was wondering--

could I come along?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

See, Brian and Akila are in myroom.

Trust me, you don't want to see the filth I'm comfortable living in.

Please, I insist.

Well, you are the Ruler of the Galaxy.

At least all the parts Octavian hasn't conquered.

So I guess I can't say no, huh?

-Nope. -OK, but can you give me a head start

so I can--heh-- throw out the plates of moldy tizzywollick under my bed?

[laughing]

-Also "no." -Huh?

Heh heh...

Hey, Cleo.

-[Cleo grunting] -[Brian] Hmm?

-[Cleo] Ah-heh. -[Brian gasps]

[Brian] Yosira. Here. Pharaoh. Here.

Yosira. Pharaoh. Here.

Welcome, my liege!

What an honor. May I offer you some tea?

Guys, you can chill. Yosira's cool.

Chill? What?!

Me chill. This be chill.

Talking good I can do.

Yeah, Brian, relax.

Fair Yosira, what kind of tea would you like?

Wallymort? Clamfab? Snurrington?

Or how about just plain oldteatea? OK, tea it is!

Thank you, but no tea for me.

Ha ha! Ha ha hahaha ha! No, of course not.

I've never been in a regular person's bedroom before.

It's so...

[Cleo yelps]

[chitters]

...quaint.

Heh heh.

-So, Brian and Akila, -[Cleo gasps]

you mentioned you had information?

-[Cleo grunts] -Let's hear it.

Information, yes.

So, Brian and I were on a routine mission

mapping out a remote, unexplored, corner of the galaxy.

It'stotallyunknown, completely uncharted.

It doesn't even have a name.

Its chief export ismystery.

-[Yosira gasps] -There's a point to this, right?

There sure is. This area's supposed to be uninhabited,

but our scanner picked up some unusual activity.

[Akila] It was a giant space station,

and it was full of Xerxes.

Thousands of 'em!

[Brian] It was the Xerxworks!

The factory where all of Octavian's Xerxes are made!

Well, we knew it had to exist,

but we've never been able to find it.

We scanned it, got rough blueprints,

and got out of there!

And then we returned to Mayet.

And then we called you.

And then you and Yosira showed up.

And then we acted weird because Yosira's here,

and then we stopped acting weird, and then--

Oh no, I'm acting weird again now. I-I'm trying to stop.

How do I stop? I can't stop, somebody help me--

[muffled] Thank you, Mihos.

Guys, if we can destroy this factory,

it'll be a huge defeat for Octavian!

Come on, let's tell Khensu!

We can't tell Khensu.

Khensu would tell the Council,

and I know how the Council works.

They'll want to send ahugeforce to Xerxworks.

Clearly, it was built to withstand a massive attack.

It's what Octavian expects.

So the only way to take it down

is to sneak in with a small, expert force.

-Huh? -Uh...

I mean you guys.

-Oh, right! Yeah, got it. -Oh...

I knew it!

What do you think?

I think... it's not half bad.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

It might not even be three-quarters bad.

Plus, Iloveme a sneak attack.

Ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh!

I have just the thing for a sneaky mission.

[action music plays]

And it's gonna help by... keeping our pants up?

It's a Combined Holographic and Tactile Field Illusion Projector!

Or CHATFIP.

It can disguise you as anyone or anything!

Huh.

And it will keep your pants up.

-Cool! -OK. Here, check it out.

I can disguise myself as...

a giant rabbit...

Professor Klabrax V...

-a baby mole-crab. -[all gasp]

-Eww. Gross. -OK, come on.

And...a cabbage!

Why would I ever want to disguise myself as a cabbage?

What would you rather be, lettuce?

Come on, that's just ridiculous.

-[Mihos squeals] -Well, I'm weirdly convinced.

Let's strap on these CHATFIPs and go!

One last thing. I want to go, too.

[all laughing]

[Yosira] I'm serious.

Yosira, you don't have any mission experience.

And you still need to develop your instincts--

You told me the only way to develop my instincts

is on-the-job experience.

I wrote it in my notes.

W-Well... [sighs]

So... it looks like I'm going along!

[giggles] Whoo-hoo!

Let us do this thing!

Is this is one of those times

when my words come back to haunt me?

-Yep, definitely. -Already happening.

[sighs]

[video game sounds]

All right, so here's the plan.

We'll use the CHATFIPs to disguise ourselves as tiny ants.

Then we'll crawl right under the guard and into the ship--

assuming no one steps on us first.

The CHATFIPs can't make ussmaller,

they just hide our true form

while projecting an illusion others can see.

So when you're a cabbage, you're not really

as small as a cabbage, you're more--

OK, I get it. How about this?

I'll disguise myself as--

Ooh, I know! You should be Khensu,

and I'll disguise myself asyou.

Um, being me is kinda my thing.

Ooh, ooh! I'll be Brian!

-Yes! And I'll be Akila! -Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You two are just gonna trade places for no good reason?!

-Um... -Yeah.

I love it!

Come on! Let us do this!

Hang on! Not so fast, Yosira. I--

-[chitters] -Ta-- [sighs]

OK, fine. Let us do this.

[Cleo's voice] Follow me, guys.

[Yosira's voice] Cleo?

[gasps, giggles]

-[Mihos chittering] -[Yosira's voice whimpers]

Hee hee hee!

Act natural.

[making robot noises]

[video game sounds]

[clears throat]

[Cockney accent] 'Ello, guv'nor.

I'm a cat, and me real name's definitely Khensu.

We're 'ere to check out a ship for no reason.

[bored] State your names.

[Yosira's voice] I'm Cleo, and I'm really awesome.

Boo-yah!

And this is Mihos, and he's... cabbage.

He's a cabbage,

which is a normal thing to carry around.

[Brian's voice] I'm Akila. Happy to meet you.

[Akila's voice, robotic] My name is Bri-an.

I am a cyborg.

[making robot noises]

You know that's offensive, right?

-[making robot noises] Aah! -Ohh!

OK, we've officially failed to act natural. Get ready to run!

[guard] Approved.

[force field beeping]

-Oh! -Heh.

Oh, jolly good, guv'nor!

[Akila's voice giggling]

[rocket whooshes]

[Akila] Here it is! Xerxwork!

Cleo] How do we get in without triggering their defenses?

According to my computer's calculations,

all we gotta do is perfectly execute

a series of 29 hairpin turns,

followed by one reallyloopy loop-de-loop.

That plan is categorically insane... and I'll do it!

Ooh, wait! I've got a better idea.

Whoa. Um, Yosira,

how 'bout youtellme your idea first?

Honestly, I think it'll be easier if I just show you.

Hang on!

-[piano playing] -[all scream]

-[screaming] -[Yosira giggles]

[screaming]

[humming]

[brakes screeching]

[piano stops]

-Aaah! -Oh!

[coughing, panting]

Yosira, that was--

-Brilliant! -And gutsy!

It was like something Cleo would do,

except for the part where Cleo didn't do it.

Uhh!

Yeah, sure.

It was... lucky.

But next time can you maybe follow my lead?

I get that you're the Pharaoh, but I'm the team leader.

I kinda feel like you're both the team leaders!

Yeah! That's what I was thinking!

Double leaders.

Wow! Really?

I mean,yeah.Of course.

We're... both leaders. Heh. Sure.

[Cleo] Eh-heh. Eh-heh-heh. Heh.

-[door clanks] -[rocket whooshing]

[factory noises]

[metallic stomping]

[robotic scream]

[Cleo] Anybody see one of those... "You Are Here" signs?

[Akila] Shhh! We're supposed to be cyborgs!

[Brian] No, we're supposed to be robots!

Xerxes are robots. I'ma cyborg.

Why is that so confusing?

-[alarm wails] -[Xerx] Halt.

You are out of position.

[scanner beeping]

What is that?

[Cleo, robotic] It is my Xerx lunch.

Please remember,

Xerx lunch is only permitted

in the Xerx cafeteria.

Right. I for-got. Sor-ry.

"Sorry." What is "sorry"?

Xerxes do not say "sorry."

They don't? We don't?

I-- Sorry-- Oops!

Sorry, I said sorry. I--

[Yosira] Does not compute!

Bee-boop-beep.

-[Cleo] Yosira, don't-- -[Xerx] Ha-ha.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Ha-ha.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

"Beep-boop-beep." Hilarious.

Your operating systems need rebooting.

This pass will allow you to proceed freely to Diagnostics.

"Beep-boop-beep." That is a good one.

[laughter]

[Akila] That was amazing!

[Brian] Great job, Yosira!

[Cleo grumbles]

Yeah! Is this what adrenaline feels like?

I might be addicted to it!

Yosira, you saved the day!

That pass is exactly what we need!

Yeah, you really did a good there. [sighs]

So what's next?

[Brian] We need to make our way

to the center of the factory,

find the power core, and install this.

It will overload the core

and blow up the whole factory!

The factory that we'reinsideof?!

There's a timer, obviously.

We'll set it and run so we can get out before...

[making explosion noises]

As much as I love your explosion noises--

that's not sarcasm, by the way, I really love 'em--

we should move!

Wait. I've got another idea.

[sighs] Yosira, we don't have time for--

Just listen. What if instead--

Yosira! For reals, we gotta move!

OK, but just--

-Yosira! -[chittering]

Look, you may be Pharaoh,

but I'm the one with experience.

Which meansI'mthe idea-haver around here, not you!

I understand.

Thank you.

[takes deep breath]

[gasps] The power core!

Boom! Now all we gotta do is slap on that gizmo and scram!

[Brian] My favorite part of that is the part where we scram.

[panting]

Octavian?!

[evil laughter]

Well, this is my new favorite day ever.

Mine, too.

[laughs]

I can't believe

I almost cancelled my Xerxworks inspection today.

I just walk in and stumble upon Cleopatra,

who can provide me with the power I need

to conquer the galaxy...

Yosira, the Pharaoh of said galaxy...

-this guy... -Aah!

the most sophisticated cyborg I've ever seen...

Hmm? See? He knows I'm not a robot.

[Octavian] And...some rando.

Hey! I'm important, too!

Keep telling yourself that.

Grrr...

So... what do we do now?

Fighty stuff.

Hyah! Hyah!

Hee...yah!

Whooo! Hyah!

[laughs]

Whoa!

[grunting]

Sick move, Yosira!

Thanks. I learned from the best.

Hyah!

Ohh. I'm getting bored.

Time to end this.

Behold the Sword of Kebechet!

[weapons zapping]

[grunting]

Um, what's that?

I'm gonna go ahead and guess a not-good thing?

[evil laughter]

[all scream]

[Brian] Aaaah!

Aaah! Uhh!

-[Xerx roars] -[Octavian laughing]

Hee-yah!

[grunting]

[zapping]

[grunting]

-[debris clatters] -Huh?

There's an idea. Hyah!

Rarrr!

[electrical crackling]

[Brian] Cleo!

[all grunting]

[groans]

I'm sorry if I overstepped.

I just had an idea, and I--

Are you kidding me? You saved my butt out there!

I'm...

[sighs]

I'm sorry for getting all mad and territorial before.

My bad.

And I'm sorry for all--

Hey, sorry to interrupt all your sorries,

but has anyone else noticed

the power core is on theotherside

of all this debris?

[rumbling, clattering]

[Cleo] It won't be for long.

Sounds like Emperor Pickleface is chopping his way through.

Yeah, I don't know what that sword was,

but it looked crazypowerful!

He'll be here any minute.

So what do we do, Cleo?

You guys run for it. I'll stay and deal with Octavian.

Maybe I can do my pink explode-y thing again.

It almost killed me last time, but maybe I'll get lucky twice!

There must be another way.

[debris clattering]

You guys need to go. Now!

[sighs]

No! I won't leave Cleo!

Yosira, you're the Pharaoh.

We can't risk losing you.

And you're the Savior of the Galaxy,

so we can't risk losing you, either.

OK, let me guess. You got another idea.

[explosive sounds]

Cleopatra! Wakey-wakey!

[weapons zapping]

[Octavian] Some sort of...

holographic disguise, I presume.

Clever ploy.

Cleopatra knows I need her,

and since I don't know which one of you is really her,

I can't destroy any of you.

But... I can still do this.

[grunts]

[grunts]

[chittering]

Wait. What?!

While you were busy with my doubles,

I was setting the power core to overload.

Rough break, prune boy.

[grunts]

[Brian, Octavian screaming]

[grunts]

[grunts]

Aah!

[roaring]

-[grunts] -[screams]

[groans]

Huh?

[grunts]

[Cleo] Run for it, guys!

That core's gonna blow!

-We have to-- -There's no time! Leave it!

[Yosira] But the sword!

[Octavian grunting]

You're going to regret this, Cleopatra!

I promise you that.

I promise you!

I'm not thrilled you went behind my back.

But I'm forced to agree,

this was a decisive victory for PYRAMID.

Well done, Cleo.

Thanks. It was a team effort.

Hi! I'm important!

By the way, Khensu,

any chanceyoucould update the Council on our behalf?

[laughing]

No.

I wouldn't want to deprive you

of the unique experience

of one of Khepra's angry seven-hour lectures.

[sighs]

I'll handle Khepra.

I actually enjoy angry lectures.

Yosira, you're a weird one.

I hope you know, you're more than welcome

to come along on future missions.

Anytime.

Thanks...

but no, thanks.

Today was fun...

This wasfunfor you?!

OK,someof it was fun,

but I think I can be more effective as Pharaoh.

I'll leave the missions to you and your highly capable team.

Yeah. I'm important, too.

Um, guys... about the CHATFIPs.

Oh, yeah. Those things are great!

Well, I just found out that they put out

some weird radiation that may have...

an unfortunate side effect.

Who cares? We're gonna wear those things

oneverymission 'cause-- [farts]

Heh. 'Cause they really make it easy-- [farts]

easy to sneak-- [farts]

-It's OK, it's OK! -[Cleo farts]

My calculations indicate that it should wear off

-in about six to eight days. -[farting continues]

-Aaah! -We arenever...

using the CHATFIPs again!

-[Brian] Understood. -[Cleo farts]

[Octavian grunts]

Cleopatra!

There is nowhere you are safe from me!

[evil laughter]

[music playing]