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1
00:00:08,367 --> 00:00:11,097
(birds chirping)
2
00:00:12,833 --> 00:00:14,833
- You went way too soon.
3
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:17,430
And I,
4
00:00:18,933 --> 00:00:21,373
I never really knew you, did I?
5
00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:25,570
Oh, mom.
6
00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:26,797
I don't know what to say.
7
00:00:28,733 --> 00:00:30,503
- Well, say whatever
you feel, dear.
8
00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:32,400
- I feel weird.
9
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:33,900
Who is this again?
10
00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:36,730
- Brian Jones from
The Rolling Stones.
11
00:00:36,733 --> 00:00:41,273
Poor Brian, went in '69, which
is how I always remember him.
12
00:00:41,267 --> 00:00:42,097
You see--
13
00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:42,900
- I get it, mom.
14
00:00:47,700 --> 00:00:49,330
- There.
15
00:00:49,333 --> 00:00:51,003
I always meant to do that.
16
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,300
- And I'm glad you did.
17
00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:57,403
- I hope it was the
right Brian Jones.
18
00:01:00,467 --> 00:01:03,067
(upbeat music)
19
00:01:22,067 --> 00:01:22,827
Well done.
20
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:28,600
- I don't think you've ever
said that to me before, mom.
21
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,200
- What?
22
00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:32,670
Sorry, dear, talking to myself.
23
00:01:32,667 --> 00:01:35,367
Well done on your
incredible achievements.
24
00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,100
That's what I wrote in the
letter to my future self
25
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:41,570
and put it in the time capsule.
26
00:01:41,567 --> 00:01:43,327
- That's what we're
going to dig up?
27
00:01:43,333 --> 00:01:45,073
I thought you said
it was valuable.
28
00:01:45,067 --> 00:01:47,527
- That's the treasure
of my student days.
29
00:01:47,533 --> 00:01:50,073
- But is it worth
actual money, mom?
30
00:01:50,067 --> 00:01:51,097
- My precious capsule.
31
00:01:52,367 --> 00:01:54,227
It's my legacy, really?
32
00:01:54,233 --> 00:01:56,073
- Well, isn't that me?
33
00:01:56,067 --> 00:01:56,967
- Of course, dear.
34
00:01:58,067 --> 00:02:00,197
But I can put this on eBay.
35
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,430
Time to cash in.
36
00:02:01,433 --> 00:02:04,233
It's for the future,
to fund my bucket,
37
00:02:04,233 --> 00:02:05,533
and to shoot for the moon.
38
00:02:05,533 --> 00:02:07,103
- No, mom, we discussed this.
39
00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:08,970
You are not doing
a human cannon.
40
00:02:08,967 --> 00:02:11,197
- I know, but we
are going skydiving.
41
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:14,170
- Mom, you're 70 with
the terminal illness.
42
00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:15,597
- No more of that, thank you.
43
00:02:16,733 --> 00:02:19,733
Let's focus on today
and unearthing my hoard.
44
00:02:21,067 --> 00:02:22,827
- Okay, well, what
else is in there?
45
00:02:22,833 --> 00:02:25,073
- If memory serves,
46
00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:27,067
there's a first
edition Sylvia Plath,
47
00:02:27,067 --> 00:02:31,567
a gonk that looks like
Lulu, a Stones record,
48
00:02:31,567 --> 00:02:32,897
and a VIP.
49
00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:34,230
- A VIP?
50
00:02:34,233 --> 00:02:36,933
- A very important plaster cast
51
00:02:36,933 --> 00:02:38,403
of a Rolling Stones's member.
52
00:02:40,067 --> 00:02:41,167
- What?
53
00:02:41,167 --> 00:02:43,527
- Brian Jones's
member to be precise.
54
00:02:43,533 --> 00:02:44,473
- No, sorry.
55
00:02:44,467 --> 00:02:45,597
I still don't understand.
56
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:46,970
- For goodness' sake, Franny.
57
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,627
His cock!
58
00:02:48,633 --> 00:02:51,533
A plaster cast of a famous cock!
59
00:02:51,533 --> 00:02:52,773
- Ugh.
60
00:02:52,767 --> 00:02:54,297
Since when is that
a collectible?
61
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:57,230
- Well, everybody was doing
plaster cast in the '60s.
62
00:02:57,233 --> 00:03:00,403
There's a pair of my tits
in an attic somewhere.
63
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:03,200
But my cock is priceless.
64
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,770
(upbeat music)
65
00:03:09,933 --> 00:03:12,473
Bathe with the baboons.
66
00:03:12,467 --> 00:03:15,267
See the cherry blossom in Japan.
67
00:03:15,267 --> 00:03:17,267
Go for llama trek.
68
00:03:17,267 --> 00:03:20,867
Now, we can do that in Peru
or just outside Northampton.
69
00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:23,230
I'll say Peru.
70
00:03:23,233 --> 00:03:24,473
- I've been thinking.
71
00:03:24,467 --> 00:03:26,327
Seeing as I'm on
a break from work,
72
00:03:26,333 --> 00:03:29,403
I'd really like to get
your memories down before,
73
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,330
well, we don't want to
lose history, do we?
74
00:03:31,333 --> 00:03:33,533
- Here you are, ladies.
75
00:03:34,767 --> 00:03:36,627
This will set you
up for the road.
76
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:37,873
- Thank you.
77
00:03:37,867 --> 00:03:38,867
- [Waiter] What are
you up to today then?
78
00:03:38,867 --> 00:03:40,897
- We're on a family road trip.
79
00:03:40,900 --> 00:03:41,830
- Oh, yeah.
80
00:03:41,833 --> 00:03:43,733
I see the resemblance.
81
00:03:43,733 --> 00:03:45,303
Tell me, are you two sisters?
82
00:03:47,067 --> 00:03:49,467
(Mim laughs)
83
00:03:50,667 --> 00:03:53,567
So, going anywhere nice?
84
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,827
- Yeah, we're going to my
old University, actually.
85
00:03:56,833 --> 00:03:58,433
Maybe you've heard of it.
86
00:03:58,433 --> 00:04:00,303
Cambridge!
87
00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:01,730
- Brains as well as beauty.
88
00:04:01,733 --> 00:04:02,673
(Mim laughs)
89
00:04:02,667 --> 00:04:03,767
You're out of my league, girls.
90
00:04:03,767 --> 00:04:05,567
- She's not.
91
00:04:05,567 --> 00:04:06,397
- Thanks.
92
00:04:07,933 --> 00:04:09,473
- Well, you didn't
go to Cambridge.
93
00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:10,667
- I didn't try.
94
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,597
You said they'd
never ever want me.
95
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,570
- You lacked the necessary brio.
96
00:04:20,433 --> 00:04:22,203
Those who can do.
97
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,230
She's a teacher,
98
00:04:24,533 --> 00:04:25,403
and a virgin.
99
00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:29,573
- Well, bon appetit.
100
00:04:29,567 --> 00:04:31,867
Give me a shout out if
you need anything else.
101
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:34,430
- What?
102
00:04:34,433 --> 00:04:36,073
He was so friendly.
103
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,797
- He just wants a tip.
104
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,170
- Here's mine.
105
00:04:39,167 --> 00:04:43,867
Grab every opportunity,
like I did at Cambridge.
106
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:47,767
So, the road to Cambridge.
107
00:04:47,767 --> 00:04:50,327
A cold wind blows
over the fence.
108
00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:52,673
(Mim blows)
109
00:04:55,133 --> 00:04:57,433
Just drink it.
110
00:04:57,433 --> 00:04:59,603
- It's hot, Franny.
111
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,470
Tiny sips like a geisha.
112
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,400
Better?
113
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:06,200
- Yes.
114
00:05:07,633 --> 00:05:12,073
So it's been a full 50 years
since last you were there.
115
00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:14,167
- Life sort of got in the way.
116
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,227
- Oh, see, I knew
this would happen.
117
00:05:18,233 --> 00:05:19,833
Ugh, mom.
118
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:22,130
Mom?
119
00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:24,170
Mom?
120
00:05:24,167 --> 00:05:25,397
Oh, god
121
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:26,200
Mom?
122
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,770
- I can, let me,
123
00:05:28,667 --> 00:05:29,497
waiter!
124
00:05:35,067 --> 00:05:35,897
- Oh.
125
00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:40,870
You can do that again.
126
00:05:40,867 --> 00:05:41,767
- Mom.
127
00:05:41,767 --> 00:05:43,297
- Sorry.
128
00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:44,930
- Could you do it to her?
129
00:05:44,933 --> 00:05:47,533
(upbeat music)
130
00:05:49,333 --> 00:05:51,203
Left for the park
and ride, Franny.
131
00:05:52,367 --> 00:05:53,767
- [Fran] So how do we
get to your college?
132
00:05:53,767 --> 00:05:56,097
- There's only one way
to get around Cambridge.
133
00:05:59,167 --> 00:06:00,067
Get a move on.
134
00:06:01,133 --> 00:06:02,603
- For fuck's sake.
135
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,400
- Good for your thighs, love.
136
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:05,370
They need help.
137
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:09,870
- Good morning.
138
00:06:13,333 --> 00:06:14,173
Well done.
139
00:06:15,367 --> 00:06:16,727
- Well, thank god that's over.
140
00:06:16,733 --> 00:06:20,373
- Yeah, I felt every
cobblestone in my undercarriage.
141
00:06:20,367 --> 00:06:21,397
It wasn't too bad.
142
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:27,930
- So, here we are
at your old college.
143
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:31,130
- Are you really gonna
record everything I say?
144
00:06:31,133 --> 00:06:33,703
- Well, yes, because
a thing of the past
145
00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:37,470
won't become a fact of
history unless we record it.
146
00:06:37,467 --> 00:06:40,667
First comes knowledge,
then understanding,
147
00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:42,797
and of course, interpretation.
148
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:45,170
Maybe I could make your
stories more interesting.
149
00:06:45,167 --> 00:06:47,697
I could write a blog, or a book.
150
00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,400
(Mim snores)
151
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,600
- Have you finished boring on?
152
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,870
- It's not boring.
153
00:06:52,867 --> 00:06:54,327
It's all about you.
154
00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:55,733
- Oh.
155
00:06:55,733 --> 00:06:57,473
Well, now, that is interesting.
156
00:06:57,467 --> 00:07:00,497
(soft guitar music)
157
00:07:10,667 --> 00:07:12,427
- [Fran] Let's go get
this time capsule.
158
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:13,773
- Yes.
159
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:14,597
And we will.
160
00:07:15,933 --> 00:07:17,733
Just as soon as I remember
where I buried it.
161
00:07:19,567 --> 00:07:21,297
Before I came here,
162
00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:25,400
I was just a plain, fat,
unfulfilled sort of person,
163
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:28,770
very much like you
are now, Franny.
164
00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:31,297
But I was inspired!
165
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:34,570
This place is a testament
to greatness, and it says--
166
00:07:34,567 --> 00:07:36,067
- Keep off the grass?
167
00:07:36,067 --> 00:07:39,167
- I can do anything
I like on the grass.
168
00:07:40,133 --> 00:07:44,073
I am an alumna. (laughs)
169
00:07:44,067 --> 00:07:45,497
- Okay, mom.
170
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:48,430
So talk me through a typical
day of the student you.
171
00:07:51,067 --> 00:07:55,267
- Shakespeare before breakfast,
toss off Chaucer by 11.
172
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:59,097
And then I'd sprint stark
naked around the quad
173
00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:01,300
before the last chimes of 12.
174
00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:02,230
- Why?
175
00:08:02,233 --> 00:08:03,503
- It was the swinging '60s.
176
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:09,100
Plan a bomb, make love
on a bicycle, go to war.
177
00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:10,970
I had all the badges.
178
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:14,400
I put them in the capsule.
179
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,130
- Did you put it somewhere here?
180
00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:18,500
- No.
181
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:22,167
We went to the river that day.
182
00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:24,397
The things I put in my punt.
183
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,330
- Yeah, but what about
the people, you know,
184
00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:28,073
the great minds you met?
185
00:08:28,067 --> 00:08:30,727
- I was the brightest
star of my year.
186
00:08:30,733 --> 00:08:33,503
Clever chaps used to scale
the walls to get to me
187
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:34,800
like moths to a flame.
188
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:35,630
- Really?
189
00:08:35,633 --> 00:08:36,473
Like who?
190
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:38,600
- Prince Charles.
191
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,330
Stephen Hawking.
192
00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:43,333
- Wow, you met Stephen Hawking?
193
00:08:43,333 --> 00:08:44,603
- He blew my mind.
194
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,870
So I returned the favor.
195
00:08:47,867 --> 00:08:50,197
Now, I'm not saying that's
why he never walked again.
196
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:51,130
- Mom.
197
00:08:51,133 --> 00:08:52,633
- You don't need to be coy here.
198
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:56,303
There must be 5,000 virgins
in the maths department alone.
199
00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:58,900
All you had to do in
my day was ask nicely.
200
00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:00,130
- Excuse me.
201
00:09:00,133 --> 00:09:01,533
Are you interested?
202
00:09:01,533 --> 00:09:02,873
- You see.
203
00:09:02,867 --> 00:09:04,397
- In studying at the college.
204
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,070
- (laughs) Done that.
205
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:07,467
Been there.
206
00:09:07,467 --> 00:09:09,497
Soiled the t-shirt.
207
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:12,330
(laid back music)
208
00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:17,930
- [Fran] Wow.
209
00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:19,473
Did you know this, mom?
210
00:09:19,467 --> 00:09:21,397
- I knew everything, everyone.
211
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,200
I was Cambridge.
212
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:24,870
- Mary Tash works here.
213
00:09:24,867 --> 00:09:26,067
Mary Tash.
214
00:09:26,067 --> 00:09:27,927
- I never heard of her.
215
00:09:27,933 --> 00:09:30,773
- Eminent historian,
prolific tweeter.
216
00:09:30,767 --> 00:09:33,567
Now that is a great mind.
217
00:09:33,567 --> 00:09:34,667
I've read all of her books,
218
00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:36,697
well, the TV tie-ins.
219
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:38,570
I should have brought
one, got it signed.
220
00:09:38,567 --> 00:09:42,067
- Ah, now my first edition
of Plath was signed.
221
00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:45,070
If only I could find it.
222
00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:46,367
- If I did something like this,
223
00:09:46,367 --> 00:09:49,297
I need never go back to
teach at that school.
224
00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:50,900
What do you think, mom?
225
00:09:50,900 --> 00:09:53,100
- I think we're
warm but not hot.
226
00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:55,600
- No, about postgraduate
study, me, here.
227
00:09:57,967 --> 00:09:59,467
- I think if you
can't face feedback
228
00:09:59,467 --> 00:10:00,927
from your secondary school,
229
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:03,873
I'm not sure you're gonna
like the rigors of Cambridge.
230
00:10:03,867 --> 00:10:04,897
Do you?
231
00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:06,270
- I do have a degree.
232
00:10:07,433 --> 00:10:10,833
- (laughs) Yes, but this
is a little different
233
00:10:10,833 --> 00:10:13,273
from your Lego brick place.
234
00:10:13,267 --> 00:10:14,497
- Red Brick.
235
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:16,800
But you would know if
you'd ever visited.
236
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,030
- Nothing to see.
237
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,100
- Me?
238
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:23,130
My graduation?
239
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,327
- Where is this?
240
00:10:28,633 --> 00:10:30,573
Well, it's magic!
241
00:10:30,567 --> 00:10:31,927
- It's just a university, mom.
242
00:10:31,933 --> 00:10:33,073
It's not Hogwarts.
243
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:35,197
- Yes, but it's not everyone.
244
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,600
Come along now.
245
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,730
It's all coming back to me.
246
00:10:38,733 --> 00:10:41,003
Summer madness, exams looming,
247
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,700
lapping up Madame Bovary
in the President's garden.
248
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:50,570
- Look, I just want to
find out a bit more, okay,
249
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:51,827
seeing as we're here.
250
00:10:51,833 --> 00:10:54,103
- I'll get a drink then,
seeing as we're here.
251
00:11:04,267 --> 00:11:06,297
- Sorry, the bar's closed.
252
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:07,470
- I'm an alumna.
253
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:08,667
I can help myself.
254
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:12,700
What do you want, a picture?
255
00:11:17,233 --> 00:11:18,703
- Can I have one of these?
256
00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:21,170
- If you're coming to
one of the seminars.
257
00:11:21,167 --> 00:11:22,597
- Yeah.
258
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:23,530
- Subject?
259
00:11:23,533 --> 00:11:24,503
- History, I guess.
260
00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:25,500
- 12:15.
261
00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:26,400
- Magna carta.
262
00:11:27,567 --> 00:11:29,727
- I set this place
on fire, literally,
263
00:11:29,733 --> 00:11:32,933
with all those bras I
was burning. (laughs)
264
00:11:32,933 --> 00:11:37,403
1967, flaming joust
stick in one hand,
265
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,500
polyester demi cup in the other.
266
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:42,330
And voila, (laughs) feminism.
267
00:11:43,367 --> 00:11:44,927
No need to thank me, girls.
268
00:11:44,933 --> 00:11:48,403
- So mom, listen, it only
costs 10K to do a post grad.
269
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,530
- 10 grand?
270
00:11:50,533 --> 00:11:52,103
It was free in my day.
271
00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:53,770
- Everything was
free in your day.
272
00:11:53,767 --> 00:11:55,897
- Who could forget the '60s?
273
00:11:55,900 --> 00:11:57,670
My generation broke the rules.
274
00:11:57,667 --> 00:12:00,797
- And left my generation
the bill, which is 10K.
275
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,900
But if the time
capsule is really worth
276
00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:04,370
what you think it is, then--
277
00:12:04,367 --> 00:12:06,597
- Then we'll go skydiving
over the Grand Canyon, natch.
278
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,270
- Or maybe this could
become a research project.
279
00:12:09,267 --> 00:12:10,727
- I thought it was all about me.
280
00:12:10,733 --> 00:12:13,473
- And Mary Tash
might even teach me.
281
00:12:13,467 --> 00:12:14,697
- What?
282
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,870
- She's basically
totally amazing.
283
00:12:16,867 --> 00:12:19,797
- Who is this Mary Tash
you're creaming over?
284
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:20,800
- [Fran] The college president.
285
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,070
Look.
286
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:26,330
- Mary
287
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:28,230
Tish.
288
00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:29,133
- [Fran] Tash.
289
00:12:29,133 --> 00:12:30,373
Did you ever meet her?
290
00:12:31,967 --> 00:12:33,497
- You know what they say.
291
00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:36,070
If you can remember the '60s,
then you weren't really there.
292
00:12:36,067 --> 00:12:36,897
- What?
293
00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:37,730
- Right, capsule.
294
00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:40,297
- See you at the seminar?
295
00:12:41,233 --> 00:12:42,633
- You're not serious.
296
00:12:42,633 --> 00:12:43,573
- I want what you had.
297
00:12:43,567 --> 00:12:45,297
- Well, you can't have it.
298
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:46,400
- Why not?
299
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,170
- We've been through all this.
300
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:50,627
- Is that a maybe?
301
00:12:50,633 --> 00:12:53,973
- Yeah, maybe I will
come to the seminar.
302
00:12:53,967 --> 00:12:56,697
And maybe I'll come
to Cambridge too.
303
00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:59,300
And maybe I'll be the
brightest star in my year.
304
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:02,400
(Mim laughs)
305
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:03,630
For god's sake.
306
00:13:04,733 --> 00:13:05,833
Is there a loo nearby?
307
00:13:17,633 --> 00:13:20,233
- This apple fell very
far from the tree.
308
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:23,373
Not a single promotion after
12 years in the same school.
309
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:25,497
It's hopeless, really.
310
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:27,500
We won't be sticking
around for the talk.
311
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:28,900
It's cruel to encourage her.
312
00:13:30,067 --> 00:13:33,227
Maybe she'd have been
better off as a breeder,
313
00:13:33,233 --> 00:13:35,073
but there's the tragedy.
314
00:13:35,067 --> 00:13:36,327
Not a sausage.
315
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,570
Unless you.
316
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:49,600
It was early summer.
317
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:50,970
The Stones had played.
318
00:13:52,367 --> 00:13:53,797
I'd taken that plaster cast.
319
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,927
We dined alfresco.
320
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,930
And threw our lunchboxes
into the river.
321
00:14:00,933 --> 00:14:02,073
- Privileged littering.
322
00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:04,397
- Sort of goodbye to all that.
323
00:14:05,967 --> 00:14:06,897
You're getting this?
324
00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:08,330
- Yes.
325
00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:11,573
- The time capsule
was part of a dare.
326
00:14:11,567 --> 00:14:13,497
We broke in here
at dead of night.
327
00:14:14,833 --> 00:14:16,933
- Maybe it opens from
the other side, mom.
328
00:14:18,133 --> 00:14:19,873
- Any idiot can
see that, Franny.
329
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,070
- Well, I'll go over.
330
00:14:24,067 --> 00:14:24,827
- The wall?
331
00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:27,197
You?
332
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,470
- Yeah.
333
00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:30,197
I'm not completely
useless, you know.
334
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:40,430
No.
335
00:14:41,467 --> 00:14:42,897
You're gonna have to help me.
336
00:14:48,567 --> 00:14:50,727
- You're facing the wrong way.
337
00:14:50,733 --> 00:14:52,203
- Yeah, but I don't
know what to do.
338
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,370
- Take the leap!
339
00:14:55,933 --> 00:14:56,803
(Fran grunts)
340
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:57,930
Oh, shit.
341
00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:02,697
Oh.
342
00:15:04,933 --> 00:15:06,073
Are you all right, dear?
343
00:15:06,067 --> 00:15:07,497
- No!
344
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:09,100
- Should we get up now?
345
00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,070
- My knee stings.
346
00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:13,897
I can't even fall
off a wall properly.
347
00:15:13,900 --> 00:15:16,470
I'm sorry I'm such
a letdown, mom.
348
00:15:16,467 --> 00:15:18,827
- Why are you saying all this?
349
00:15:18,833 --> 00:15:19,803
- You said it.
350
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,570
- No, I didn't.
351
00:15:21,567 --> 00:15:22,767
- Uh.
352
00:15:22,767 --> 00:15:23,967
- Hopeless, really.
353
00:15:23,967 --> 00:15:25,167
Hopeless, really.
354
00:15:25,167 --> 00:15:26,067
Hopeless.
355
00:15:27,167 --> 00:15:29,197
Oh, that wasn't me.
356
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,400
- Why don't you help me?
357
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,400
- Oh, come along then.
358
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,370
Should we get the capsule?
359
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:37,627
- I never succeed, never win.
360
00:15:37,633 --> 00:15:40,503
Never, not even like
a Blue Peter badge.
361
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:43,100
I wrote in so many times.
362
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:45,600
- Yes, I never posted them.
363
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:46,400
- What?
364
00:15:47,267 --> 00:15:48,527
Why?
365
00:15:48,533 --> 00:15:50,903
- I always needed
the jiffy bags.
366
00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:54,230
And I was saving you from
inevitable disappointment.
367
00:15:54,233 --> 00:15:56,203
- By not sending them,
368
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,430
you were guaranteeing
my disappointment.
369
00:15:59,433 --> 00:16:02,203
- Is this another way I've
supposedly ruined your life?
370
00:16:03,467 --> 00:16:05,627
Where are you going?
371
00:16:05,633 --> 00:16:07,073
My capsule!
372
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:09,297
- I'm not digging
with an open wound.
373
00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:11,270
- It's a tiny graze.
374
00:16:11,267 --> 00:16:12,797
- This is out of
bounds, I'm afraid.
375
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,130
- How many fucking times?
376
00:16:15,133 --> 00:16:16,503
I'm an alumna!
377
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:19,200
- Yes, but this is the
President's garden.
378
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:20,930
- Is a first aid nearby?
379
00:16:20,933 --> 00:16:22,333
- Well, my room's
just over there.
380
00:16:22,333 --> 00:16:24,073
I've got plenty of wet wipes.
381
00:16:25,367 --> 00:16:28,197
(laid back music)
382
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,527
- They've changed it a bit.
383
00:16:34,533 --> 00:16:37,073
But I remember these old rooms.
384
00:16:37,067 --> 00:16:38,967
If walls could talk, eh.
385
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,670
- [Fran] They'd
say stop stealing.
386
00:16:42,667 --> 00:16:43,697
- Oh.
387
00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:44,970
Perhaps you'll get
388
00:16:44,967 --> 00:16:47,227
the authentic student
experience after all.
389
00:16:47,233 --> 00:16:50,073
- I don't think I need stitches.
390
00:16:50,067 --> 00:16:50,827
Mom.
391
00:16:52,067 --> 00:16:53,227
Mom.
392
00:16:53,233 --> 00:16:54,373
- She's gone back
to the gardens.
393
00:16:54,367 --> 00:16:55,427
- With my trousers?
394
00:16:55,433 --> 00:16:56,973
- Yes, apparently so.
395
00:16:59,167 --> 00:17:00,767
- Wait.
396
00:17:00,767 --> 00:17:02,797
Did she give you that?
397
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:03,630
- Yes, she did.
398
00:17:03,633 --> 00:17:05,533
- Oh, god.
399
00:17:05,533 --> 00:17:07,703
I see what's happened here.
400
00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:08,970
- What?
401
00:17:08,967 --> 00:17:10,327
- She wants you to
have sex with me.
402
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,503
- I really don't want to.
403
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:14,070
I mean, you're so
much older than me.
404
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,727
And I've got a big
maths exam tomorrow.
405
00:17:15,733 --> 00:17:16,573
- Okay, I get it.
406
00:17:16,567 --> 00:17:17,397
- And I'm gay.
407
00:17:18,567 --> 00:17:20,497
- That really should
have been your opener.
408
00:17:23,233 --> 00:17:24,633
- Yeah.
409
00:17:24,633 --> 00:17:25,473
Sorry.
410
00:17:28,367 --> 00:17:29,297
- I could kill her.
411
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:32,230
Oh, I shouldn't have said that.
412
00:17:32,233 --> 00:17:34,533
My mom is actually dying.
413
00:17:34,533 --> 00:17:36,573
And she has this
insane bucket list.
414
00:17:36,567 --> 00:17:37,627
That's why we're here.
415
00:17:37,633 --> 00:17:39,633
But it makes it worse somehow,
416
00:17:39,633 --> 00:17:42,233
this inventory of all the
things you'll never do,
417
00:17:43,167 --> 00:17:44,597
like make her proud.
418
00:17:46,267 --> 00:17:47,127
- I'm so sorry.
419
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:51,573
- Still, it's nice
to see the place.
420
00:17:51,567 --> 00:17:52,397
Got the tote.
421
00:17:56,467 --> 00:17:57,397
- Goodbye.
422
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:58,570
- Thanks for all the wet wipes.
423
00:17:58,567 --> 00:17:59,897
- No, really.
424
00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:00,730
I've got loads.
425
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:02,530
- Hmm.
426
00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:09,897
There you are!
427
00:18:09,900 --> 00:18:11,930
That was so embarrassing.
428
00:18:11,933 --> 00:18:15,173
- I should say so, crying
over a grazed knee.
429
00:18:15,167 --> 00:18:18,097
- No, you paying that
boy to sleep with me.
430
00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:19,070
- I did no such thing.
431
00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:20,267
- You gave him 20 quid.
432
00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:21,467
- So he keeps shtum.
433
00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:24,267
I was going back in
the President's garden!
434
00:18:24,267 --> 00:18:26,497
Paying someone to
sleep with you?
435
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,530
What kind of a mother
would that make me?
436
00:18:28,533 --> 00:18:30,773
They're the ones who
should be paying.
437
00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:33,897
People do that, you know,
put their virginity on eBay.
438
00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:35,630
- I can't tell if you're joking.
439
00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:36,933
Now give me my trousers back.
440
00:18:36,933 --> 00:18:39,133
- Tell the Beeb we
don't play second fiddle
441
00:18:39,133 --> 00:18:41,103
to Attenborough's penguins,
442
00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:44,200
and RSVP that Nobel lot.
443
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,100
Lovely party bags.
444
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:47,830
- (gasps) Mary Tash!
445
00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:48,773
- Hello.
446
00:18:48,767 --> 00:18:50,427
- It is an honor.
447
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:51,933
- Is it indeed?
448
00:18:51,933 --> 00:18:54,403
Then perhaps you could have
dressed for the occasion.
449
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,930
- Oh, god, yeah.
450
00:18:55,933 --> 00:18:58,173
I was just with my mom and she
took my trousers, but anyway.
451
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:01,100
- Good god, Morgenstein.
452
00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:02,070
- Hello, Mary.
453
00:19:02,067 --> 00:19:03,367
- It is you!
454
00:19:03,367 --> 00:19:05,067
Oh, 50 bloody years!
455
00:19:05,967 --> 00:19:07,467
- What, you knew each other?
456
00:19:08,367 --> 00:19:09,927
- The funniest thing.
457
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,100
I was going through my archives,
458
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:14,600
Woman's Hour are
doing a feature,
459
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,230
and I found a photograph
of the two of us together.
460
00:19:17,233 --> 00:19:18,633
I must have conjured you up!
461
00:19:20,433 --> 00:19:21,803
- Why didn't you say, mom?
462
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,530
- And this is the progeny,
463
00:19:23,533 --> 00:19:25,833
wondering around the
hall with no trousers on.
464
00:19:25,833 --> 00:19:29,203
The apple does not fall far
from the tree then. (laughs)
465
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,370
Oh, Mim, Mim.
466
00:19:31,367 --> 00:19:32,297
Tea?
467
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:33,230
- [Fran] Yes!
468
00:19:33,233 --> 00:19:34,473
- We really must be going.
469
00:19:34,467 --> 00:19:35,627
- Oh, no, not till
you've had tea.
470
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:37,973
Oh, Mim, Mim, 50
bloody years! (laughs)
471
00:19:42,233 --> 00:19:44,373
- This is incredible.
472
00:19:44,367 --> 00:19:46,527
- A bit of a tip, I'm afraid.
473
00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:49,673
I'm not ready to
digitalize yet, you see.
474
00:19:49,667 --> 00:19:51,797
You know they can watch
you through this webcam.
475
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:52,970
- Who?
476
00:19:52,967 --> 00:19:55,167
- Americans, the
government, perverts,
477
00:19:55,167 --> 00:19:57,697
if they're not all one
and the same thing.
478
00:19:57,700 --> 00:20:00,300
Where did I put this photograph?
479
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:04,230
- Oh, this has been very jolly,
but we really must go now.
480
00:20:04,233 --> 00:20:05,433
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
481
00:20:05,433 --> 00:20:06,533
I just had it.
482
00:20:06,533 --> 00:20:08,273
Come on, have some more cake.
483
00:20:08,267 --> 00:20:09,427
I seem to remember
484
00:20:09,433 --> 00:20:11,503
you always liked a
good mouthful. (laughs)
485
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:13,330
- Oh, I've heard it all.
486
00:20:13,333 --> 00:20:14,633
- Ah, here it is.
487
00:20:14,633 --> 00:20:15,573
- Oh.
488
00:20:15,567 --> 00:20:16,797
Is this your graduation picture?
489
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,670
- Oh, that's a good one.
490
00:20:18,667 --> 00:20:21,827
Sent down in shame
just before eh, Morgs?
491
00:20:21,833 --> 00:20:23,273
- Sorry, what?
492
00:20:23,267 --> 00:20:24,797
- Booted out, far too wild.
493
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:30,197
- Mom, you didn't graduate?
494
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,530
- Oh, well, if they'd
handed out BAs for blowies,
495
00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:36,433
she'd have got a
double first. (laughs)
496
00:20:36,433 --> 00:20:39,903
But as for the old books,
well, what do we say?
497
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:42,670
Lacked the necessary brio.
498
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,400
- Is that right?
499
00:20:47,467 --> 00:20:50,267
- So what brought you back?
500
00:20:53,433 --> 00:20:56,103
- We're doing mom's
bucket list, actually.
501
00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:56,900
- Ah.
502
00:20:58,767 --> 00:20:59,567
Oh.
503
00:21:01,433 --> 00:21:02,333
Oh, what a shame.
504
00:21:02,333 --> 00:21:04,203
I am sorry.
505
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,470
Bic C, is it?
506
00:21:06,467 --> 00:21:10,067
- We came to get her
time capsule but well--
507
00:21:10,067 --> 00:21:13,067
- I think I buried it in
the President's garden.
508
00:21:13,067 --> 00:21:15,967
- Well, I'm the
bloody president, so
let's go and get it.
509
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,400
(upbeat music)
510
00:21:22,867 --> 00:21:23,827
Eureka.
511
00:21:27,100 --> 00:21:28,670
- Here you go, mom.
512
00:21:31,167 --> 00:21:32,667
The moment of truth.
513
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,230
- Where's my first
edition Plath?
514
00:21:42,233 --> 00:21:43,073
My gonk?
515
00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:47,470
My Stones VIP.
516
00:21:47,467 --> 00:21:48,727
- Ugh.
517
00:21:48,733 --> 00:21:51,103
Is that Brian Jones's penis?
518
00:21:53,067 --> 00:21:55,197
- That's a fossilized banana.
519
00:21:57,667 --> 00:21:59,827
Jamaican, I should say.
520
00:22:01,767 --> 00:22:03,597
- But what happened?
521
00:22:05,067 --> 00:22:09,097
I remember the picnic, the
punting, the poo sticks.
522
00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:13,530
- Mom, do you think perhaps
you chucked your time capsule
523
00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:16,733
into the river and
buried your lunchbox?
524
00:22:18,867 --> 00:22:21,267
(soft music)
525
00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:35,333
- Funny how things are
never quite as you remember.
526
00:22:35,333 --> 00:22:38,773
Still, you can't always
get what you want.
527
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:41,630
- What?
528
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,300
We'll find a bin on the way.
529
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,370
And on the subject of rubbish--
530
00:22:53,367 --> 00:22:55,627
- I did get into Cambridge.
531
00:22:55,633 --> 00:22:58,333
I just fuzzied the
details of how I left.
532
00:23:00,067 --> 00:23:02,467
- Why did you say
that stuff to me, mom?
533
00:23:02,467 --> 00:23:05,367
Why did you always stop
me from even trying?
534
00:23:07,333 --> 00:23:09,773
- It was a sort of protection.
535
00:23:09,767 --> 00:23:11,067
- From what?
536
00:23:11,067 --> 00:23:11,827
- Disappointment.
537
00:23:13,233 --> 00:23:14,633
Yours and mine.
538
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:17,670
What if you failed?
539
00:23:19,867 --> 00:23:21,297
What if you didn't?
540
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:23,770
- So all your fears
and frustrations,
541
00:23:23,767 --> 00:23:25,667
you just projected onto me?
542
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:28,370
- It's called parenting, dear.
543
00:23:29,433 --> 00:23:30,903
The secret's out.
544
00:23:30,900 --> 00:23:33,500
- All my life, I have
felt second rate,
545
00:23:33,500 --> 00:23:35,670
not quite good enough.
546
00:23:35,667 --> 00:23:37,927
And now I know that
you aren't either,
547
00:23:37,933 --> 00:23:39,473
I feel a bit better, actually.
548
00:23:39,467 --> 00:23:42,667
- Well, I'm glad you enjoyed
something on this trip.
549
00:23:42,667 --> 00:23:44,597
Don't worry about
what's happened.
550
00:23:45,733 --> 00:23:48,303
Always ask what's next.
551
00:23:50,567 --> 00:23:52,127
And Franny.
552
00:23:52,133 --> 00:23:54,973
I really don't think you
would have got in, you know.
553
00:23:58,533 --> 00:24:03,503
* Ah, ah, ah, ah
554
00:24:06,100 --> 00:24:11,100
* Ah, ah, ah, ah
555
00:24:12,067 --> 00:24:17,067
* Trying to be brave
556
00:24:18,267 --> 00:24:22,597
* There is only so
much I can take *
557
00:24:25,500 --> 00:24:27,300
* Should you see
courage in my eyes *
558
00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:29,300
* Don't think that
I'm not terrified *
559
00:24:29,300 --> 00:24:31,300
* Fear is always close behind
560
00:24:31,300 --> 00:24:36,300
* Snapping at my heels
561
00:24:37,133 --> 00:24:42,133
* And I am still okay
562
00:24:44,733 --> 00:24:49,733
* With all the things
that I can't change *
563
00:24:52,533 --> 00:24:57,533
* And I am trying to be brave
564
00:25:00,533 --> 00:25:05,103
* But there is only
so much I can take *
565
00:25:10,067 --> 00:25:12,597
(upbeat music)
37535
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