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Buying or selling an apartment
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is actually quite easy.
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Each has their own job, passion
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or their own thing as we say.
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I wouldn't say it's my passion.
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It's just a job I enjoy doing...
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a lot.
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Each agent has their
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own sales strategies.
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Some first mention the location.
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Central apartment near local amenities.
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When dealing with
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couples with children,
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we point out the proximity
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of a school, a nursery
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or a neighborhood park.
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If it's an elderly person,
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we mention nearby shops.
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If it's a single man, we
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mention a gym, a club,
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or a sex shop.
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I'm joking.
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In reality, I first analyze
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the personĂ¢s profile.
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I try to guess their needs,
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their wishes and desires.
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That's how I work.
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The first step...
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is to size up the person.
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When I knew you were interested,
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seeing that you were still quite young,
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I thought it was best to focus on the
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advantages of the actual apartment.
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You both had a car, making
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it easy to get around.
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You clearly had no children,
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so the nursery was irrelevant.
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I mentioned how quiet and
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peaceful the area was,
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just to reassure you.
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I told you about the car park
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and the quiet neighbors.
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I even think I scored
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a point on that one.
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Then, it was time for the viewing.
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I have my own method
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which sets me apart.
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On opening the front door,
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all the other doors must be closed.
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This allows the future owners to
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discover the apartment by themselves.
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They have to be the first
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ones to enter each room.
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I follow...
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always.
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They look around the room and
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I point out its advantages.
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The eyes first, then the ears.
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That's the only way it works.
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I proceeded like a couple with you.
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I started with the kitchen, then
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the bathroom, the dining room,
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and finally the bedrooms.
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I was right in thinking
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that its functionality interested
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you more than its looks.
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I saw your friend's face
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gradually light up.
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He smiled at the built-in wardrobe.
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I was too hasty in thinking
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you loved the place.
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That's when he gave me a
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sharp blow to the head.
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As I hit the floor, I noticed
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how soft the carpet was.
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It was silly of me not to mention it.
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I'd forgotten this important point.
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I strived to get up,
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but you sat on me.
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Your friend quickly got rid
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of my skirt and tights.
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I tried to scream but I couldn't.
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You pushed my face
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into the soft carpet.
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It was probably wool, I got
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some fibers stuck in my teeth.
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I screamed.
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But the soundproofing was excellent.
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Nobody could hear me.
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I told you it was soundproof.
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Now you know I wasn't lying.
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My screams couldn't breach the walls.
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What progress!
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Fluffy carpet and thick walls.
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Absolute tranquility.
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As your friend raped me,
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I screamed out loud.
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Double glazing...
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No-one would have heard me,
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nor your groaning when you
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came, one after the other.
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21st-century modernism keeps
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physical pleasure a secret,
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away from others.
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Of course, I received a few blows.
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but I was lucky I wasn't killed.
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Two punches to the stomach, and
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an uppercut to knock me out.
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The last punch split my lip.
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After you had left,
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I staggered to the bathroom where
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I discovered the 3 kinds of jet.
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Soft, tonic or massage.
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You can set the ideal temperature
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in just the push of a button.
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No more fiddling with each tap
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to get the right temperature.
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I'd never mentioned
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such things before.
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My mistake.
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I could have phoned the police.
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There was a phone line...
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there was one in each room.
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Very useful.
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But I didn't call them.
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No, I just left, calmly,
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slamming the reinforced
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door behind me.
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The door however was impenetrable.
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I let some time pass by.
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I told no-one.
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It took me two years to find any
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trace leading to my rapists
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to find you.
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On the day of the viewing, I
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wrote down your number plate.
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It took me two years.
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Two years is a long time.
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One changes quite a bit, physically.
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That's why your friend
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didn't recognize me.
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He recklessly flirted with me.
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I played dumb.
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He didn't notice my disgust
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when he took my hand,
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nor that I wanted to vomit
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when we rose our glasses.
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We toasted to the future.
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I was really toasting to gardening.
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Have you seen the garden here?
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Nice, isn't it?
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No-one can see in from the outside.
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You can walk around naked.
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There's no-one to startle
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you, or watching you.
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The ground is soft and crumbly.
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It muffles screams.
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No-one heard your friend's screams
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as the earth filled his lungs.
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Humans make great compost.
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Grass grows wonderfully.
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I pointed that out and you smiled,
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unaware you were treading
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on your dead friend,
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or what was left of him.
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It was 6 months ago.
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What did you say?
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I can't hear you... understand you.
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That's probably the
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tape over your mouth.
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Sorry.
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It was harder for me to find you,
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and to convince you
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to view this house.
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At one point, I thought
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you'd recognized me,
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but you hadn't.
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I used all my charm and it worked.
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You invited me out for dinner.
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You aren't very original.
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And now, here we are, in this
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house full of cupboards.
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What was it you said?
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Yes, I remember.
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You said you had nothing
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to put in them.
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But you do...
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you.
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Don't try to speak.
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You'll waste energy and oxygen.
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The cupboard you're in is quite small.
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You shouldn't waste the only
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oxygen you have right away.
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Sorry I dirtied your coat
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when I knocked you out.
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I couldn't have known your
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scalp would tear so easily.
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You won't succeed in
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breaking the doors open.
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They have special hinges.
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They're a lot stronger.
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But I know nothing about hinges.
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I taped around the doors
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so no air can get in.
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And there are anti-humidity
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joints, so nothing can get in.
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Humidity can be such a burden.
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So I'll wait. I have plenty of time.
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My next visit is at 6pm.
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That's in 4 hours in another house.
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By that time you'll be dead.
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There's a water heater in
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the basement for your body.
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The brochure says that to
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heat the house efficiently,
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it can burn up to 200
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lbs of waste per day,
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any kind of waste.
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That's 40 lbs more than you weigh.
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It would take less than 2 hours.
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What progress!
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And it only leaves a
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small heap of ash.
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That's another good selling point.
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What?
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You sound like I did when you pushed
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my face into that soft carpet.
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Isn't that amusing?
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I forgot to mention the
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kitchen and the tiles.
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My mistake. We still have time.
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In a kitchen, the type of floor is
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just as important as the amenities.
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Tiles even give modern homes the
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charm of good old kitchens,
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where all the family would
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have breakfast together.15327
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