Original subtitles

-First-aid kit? -Check.

Mosquito repellent

in candle, spray, and lotion form?

Gigi, there's no Zika virus at the campground!

I promise you this.

I'm bringing it all anyway.

Okay.

Why do we have to go back there?

Because I don't remember it,

and we haven't been since Mom died.

But my final sixth-grade project is due Monday!

More importantly,

it's Ariana's party tomorrow.

Oh, as spectacular as Ariana's party's gonna be,

I'm sure there'll be others.

And Elisa, you can work on your project when you're there.

Lots of downtime!

And no screens. Wait for it...

This party means everything to me,

and you don't even care.

You're right. I don't care.

Remember last time?

You sat in poison ivy

and Mom had to ice your butt

for three hours.

But what about the Family Olympics?

Huh? Come on!

The potato-sack race

and the thing, with the egg and the thing?

Mirabel's knee hit my tooth

doing the thing with the egg and the thing.

There was blood everywhere.

Remember?

I remember.

I don't.

I was too little. I want to go.

There you have it, Dad.

Just bring Gigi.

How about you guys go,

and I'll babysit Elisa...

Babysit?

I'm working on something here.

No, it's not working. You're going.

All right, all right, here's the deal.

We're going to sing songs in the car,

and win gold and make s'mores,

and it's gonna be fun!

Get in.

You forgot to pack my bags.

What?

Oh...

That hurts my back.

All right, who wants to play car games?

I do!

How about "I Spy With My Little Eye"?

I spy with my little eye

social suicide.

I spy failing sixth grade.

I spy pain-in-the-butt daughters.

Stop!

I spy a neighbor.

Hey.

Uh, so, the wife and kids are staying

with Grandma this weekend.

And this affects me how?

You got room in there for a Boy Scout?

Yes!

Hi. Thank you.

What's up, homegirls?

Okay.

Gettin' in.

Little squishy!

Okay.

All right, everybody in?

Yep.

Everybody safe? Seatbelts on?

Yep.

Ho-o-o-o-o!

Oh, hey.

Who knows any good car songs?

I do!

Wait, wait. Hold on.

I need to make a call before you start.

Hey.

Hey, Steph.

I'm just calling to remind you to set the alarm,

close early on Sunday evening.

Don't worry. I got this.

Maybe we should talk about the trainer schedules again.

Seriously, Ricky, go, enjoy yourself.

I've got plenty of help here.

Ah...

Yes... Bjorn.

Right! That's his name!

You know, I always stick with Thor...

the guy with the muscles and the hammer.

Yes, I'm aware of the mythology.

Shouldn't you be focusing on driving?

Look, I texted you the number

of the campground.

The cell service is shotty,

but there's a phone in the office.

I got it! Buh-bye! Have fun.

Bye.

I remember a song from Boy Scouts.

Who wants to hear it?

Not me.

No.

Aw. You guys are no fun.

Sorry.

Hey. Uh, Coopers checking in.

What up, fam?

"Serenity" cabin as requested.

Can I help you with your bags?

Uh--

Especially yours?

We requested Cabin 12, and where's Hank?

Oh, yeah, uh, Grandpa?

He's in Florida.

And I needed a job,

so...

I'm also, like, really into

the whole Zen thing right now,

so I've changed all the numbers of the cabins

to names reflect certain moods.

Is there "Annoyed"?

Because that's my mood.

Uh...

But "Serenity" cabin

is the cabin formerly known as number 12.

Okay. So you know the way?

-Oh, yeah. -Okay!

I'm just going to grab-- Ow!

-Help! -Whoa, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Forgot you were in there.

That's all right.

Oh, geez. My legs aren't working.

Neither is my phone!

Now I'll never know what Liam's last emoji was.

Ohh! That's terrible!

I feel nauseous from reading in the car.

I'm tired.

Wow! That's a lot of complaining, people.

You know, from here on out,

this is a complaint- free weekend.

But my phone!

It's also a screen-free weekend.

Wait for it.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on! Move it.

Ricky! Come sit with me.

Look at this view.

Promise you'll always sit with me on the red bench.

This feels a lot smaller than I remember.

That's the lack of WiFi.

Are you kidding me?

This place is a palace!

When I was a boy scout, we slept in a tent

and ate out of tin bowls.

Okay.

I'm gonna stop you right there.

If we're gonna do the whole

"when I was a scout" thing

every six minutes,

I'm not gonna to be able to deal.

Yeah...

it's getting old fast.

Okay. But I have lots of cool stories to tell,

so... heh-heh, your loss.

I call top bunk!

I don't remember this place at all.

Wait.

That's where she used to sit.

Could you grab the rest of Mirabel's stuff?

Cool.

That was your mother's favorite chair.

It's different.

This table used to be over there,

against that wall,

and your mother's chair...

used to be...

right here.

She loved, uh...

looking out that window, watching you guys play.

She also used to sit here and read to you.

Can I...

Can I sit in it?

Of course, sweetie.

I'm gonna go unpack.

This project is driving me crazy!

Seriously, don't worry about it.

There's bigger things to worry about.

Like a high-school party?

Do you have any idea how much of an opportunity it is

for me, a ninth-grader, to get invited?

I wouldn't exactly put it on a resume.

Who wants to hike to the Cooper Tree?

Make it stop.

What do you say, girls?

Are you kidding me? I can't go anywhere.

My phone hasn't finished charging yet.

Yeah, Dad, I need to figure out

what I'm writing on the eco-system.

Okay, then.

How 'bout you?

Hike to the Cooper tree?

I'm just down for a nap, so...

sorry.

Count me out, too.

I'm exploring the cabin.

Not impressed with the attitudes here.

Be back soon.

Mom's blueberry pancake recipe!

Disinfectant spray bottles...

sufficiently full.

Dusting could use some work.

Rags changed.

Treadmill... relatively clean.

Sarge!

Looking a little OCD there.

I realize

I'm not running Berkshire Hathaway here,

but Ricky's never left me in charge for a whole weekend,

and I don't want to screw it up.

Looks like someone's moving up in the world.

Yeah, well, you know,

checking up on spray bottles

has been a goal of mine for quite some time now.

Wow.

Yeah, and it's just a lot of things to check up on,

and I haven't had time to work out today.

Let's do it.

You want to race?

I'm not going to race you, Thor,

but I could run with you.

might up my game.

Good! Let's do it.

Incline, 5.0. Run! 5.0.

Oh. Wow. I should do this every day.

I'll be ready for the Olympics in no time.

Okay, let's do boxing tomorrow.

Right now, 6.5, for three minutes.

Same incline.

Okay...

You got it!

I don't know where to begin.

Just start at the beginning.

Real helpful.

Just pick a topic and start.

Whoa!

The amanita muscaria mushroom!

You stay away from those. Especially in college.

You know about this stuff?

Well, if you weren't so Snotty McSnotterson

about my Boy Scout days,

I could tell you a thing or two about mushrooms.

I am so sorry.

If you know anything about anything,

please, talk to me.

Tell me all about your Boy Scout days, non-stop.

Well, I can pretty much name

any type of fungus under the sun.

In fact...

they used to call me "FunGuy".

Get it?

I usually regret these moments,

but would you help me with my project?

This should be good.

Yes. Absolutely.

What is the project?

She doesn't know yet.

Quiet, Gigi!

I'm supposed to pick something natural.

Could be a leaf, could be an insect...

even a--

...Fungus!

...And show its effect on the entire ecosystem.

Hold that thought.

Sister...

let's get you an "A".

Come on!

Yes!

Oh, come on!

I'm almost at two bars.

You'll have better reception outside.

Feel free to go out there.

What are you doing in Mom's chair?

I like it.

Well, get out of it!

No.

I'm not asking twice.

I hate this place.

Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

Now, this is a sphagnales moss.

The entire ecosystem of this tree starts

with these tiny, beautiful green leaves.

Tell me everything!

Preferably in scientific detail.

I'm going to pretend to care.

Oh, but you will care once you get it, Elisa.

All right? It-- It's not scary.

It's science.

For starters, it photosynthesizes,

like a moss.

No.

-No? -No.

You know how I feel about puns.

And old people doing things they think are cool

but are really cringe-worthy.

Okay, I hear that all the time from my boys, too.

I'm old, and I know it.

But...

You take this little guy out of the picture

and it sends a ripple effect through everything.

Now, think of the moss, insects, trees, air,

even the sunlight,

everything, as a family.

Okay?

One person leaves, but everybody feels it.

Do you know what I mean?

Oh, no.

I-I'm so sorry.

I'm such a jerk.

No, it's a good analogy.

I know exactly what you mean.

Tell Dad if I ever find WiFi, I'm never coming back!

Hey, we've got dial-up back at the check-in center.

No. No...

I cannot believe it's day one.

"Sphagnales" is spelled s-p-h-a...

Oh...

Oh. Sorry.

I didn't mean to wake you.

That's okay.

It just got so quiet in here.

I fell asleep.

Yeah.

Guess it's just you and me, huh?

Everything okay?

Of course. Yeah.

It's just, um...

do you remember the Cooper Tree?

I don't remember anything.

It sucks.

Well...

the first time

your mom and I came up here,

it was raining.

And it was just about the worst day ever.

Uh, the car broke down,

your mom was pregnant with you,

and your sisters fought all the way up.

It was brutal,

so I had took your mom on a hike.

I thought some exercise could get us

out of our funk.

And of course, it started raining,

and, uh...

I tripped on this jagged rock

and cut my foot up pretty good.

Ouch.

Is that why you got the scar on your ankle?

Yep. Yep.

So... so I picked up that stupid rock,

and...

carved our initials into an oak tree.

Our oak tree.

And suddenly...

that bad day just melted away.

It was beautiful.

I want to see that tree.

I couldn't find it.

Hmm!

Hey!

How are things in civilization?

Ricky? The connection sounds weird.

I'm using the ancient, rare device

known as a pay phone.

Well, things are running smoothly.

We don't miss you at all. Uh, just a minute, Ricky.

m. A bit moreM oney next time.h

h! Can you close the doorO n your way out?o

Thanks, Thor!

Hey! Let's, uh, try for a 6:00 workout! Tch!

Are you in my office?

Well, it's the command center. You left me in command.

You need to simmer down.

Oh, I tend to get carried away with power.

You're running a gym, not sitting in the Oval Office.

Duly noted. Have fun.

Thanks. We have a great day planned--

the much-anticipated Cooper Family Olympics.

We've been doing it since we first came up here.

I love an Olympics.

I get kind of competitive.

Shocker!

I would crush it. Okay?

I wish I was there with you,

but I, um, I'll see you when you get back.

I'll talk to you later.

Sorry.

Welcome to the annual family Olympics!

Where Cooper faces off against Cooper...

and Todd--

Whoo!

...In a series of exciting sporting events.

You are kidding me, Daddy.

Let's just get going.

Mirabel--

And it's not "annual" unless it's every year.

The term stems from the Latin "annu".

This is a tough crowd!

I don't think you need the bullhorny-thingie.

We can hear you.

He likes it.

I do.

In today's tournament,

there will be thrills and spills,

nail-biting, and close photo finishes

as we push ourselves

to the limits of our...?

...Ability.

Ability! That's right!

You're getting a little carried away.

I think he's funny.

But I'm laughing at him, not with him.

That's not funny, Todd.

All right.

Okay, all right, all right, fine, okay, I get it.

Let's get this going.

Let's do this, people.

Bring it on!

Let's go! Ready to go, Coopers?

Come on.

Go, Elisa.

Come in hard, Ricardo! It's a curling term.

I watch a lot of curling.

Elisa, you can do it!

Let's go!

I watch a lot of cross-fit, sister!

-Go, Gigi! -Look at Gigi go!

Gigi-rama!

Slow down!

No. I'm not slowing down.

You better get ready. You're up next.

Oof!

It might be a while.

Down.

I'm okay!

I'm okay. Thank you.

Thank you.

Finished!

Come on, Gigi!

-That's great, Todd. -Come on, Gigi.

It's falling.

Just don't-- Don't look back.

You can't look back. Oh!

It's on my face!

Gigi, you've got to keep going, Gigi!

Okay.

Come on!

Come on.

Ohh!

Daddy, we're making a valiant effort,

but we need another person!

Yep!

You know who'd be good at this?

Stephanie.

She's super-competitive!

With her,

we couldn't lose! Ohh!

Hoo-hoo-hooah!

Yeah!

Oh, my! Look at her go!

Ohh!

Oh! Todd goes down!

Ohh!

In many sporting events,

the victor expresses joy

with a display such as this--

Go, Gigi!

Woo! Hey, hey. Ease up, Mirabel.

We're just having fun.

No, I'm here because you insisted.

I just want to find a cell phone signal

and call my friends.

Wait, wait.

Everything was great 15 minutes ago!

-Good job, Todd! -All right.

All right, this one's coming out to Todd!

Send me a biggie!

Okay!

Oh...

Oh, no, no, no. No-no-no-no-no-no-no!

Toxicodendron radicans!

Poison ivy!

The boy scouts' foe!

You okay?

I don't think so!

You need me to come over?

Would you be so kind?

I react very badly to poison ivy, Ricardo.

Girls, can you get

the first-aid kit out of the office?

On it.

You're a gentleman and a scholar, Ricardo!

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!

Ohh... ahh.

Look! There's the first-aid kit.

Elisa. Check this out.

Oh, my God. Look at them.

That's the Cooper Tree!

Daddy looked for it, but couldn't find it.

But we can find it, I know it.

How?

Look at that! That's a landmark.

Let's go find Marky. He'll know.

Let me take a picture.

Come on!

I'll see that bet and raise.

Call.

I'm out.

What do ya got?

Read 'em and--

"Weep" is the word you're looking for.

It's a common idiom,

and weeping does seem in order...

since I beat you.

Again.

I swear, I'm taking you to Vegas, Rainman.

We'll clean up!

Just a second. I...

-You okay there? -Yeah, I got it.

-You sure? -Nope.

All right. I got it, I got it.

Ahh...

All right.

Ahem.

Oh. Mirabel.

Should I deal you in?

I don't think so.

You know who could get her to act like a human being?

Stephanie.

Mirabel respects her.

That's 'cause she has good hair.

Probably.

Yeah, she does have really nice hair.

All right.

Stephanie...

would also kick your little butt, Gigi.

She's a shark.

Uh... what is that?

What-- What are you people doing?

Oh, we got this little game going on.

Every time you say "Stephanie," we, um...

You're teaching my daughters a drinking game?

Uh, hello? They're just about 'tweens.

Impressive.

-Right? -Lemonade shooters.

And why, may I ask, is "Stephanie" the go-to word?

-That counts!

Bro, you say her name a lot.

Really? I-I don't think I do.

Maybe I do.

But it would be fun if she were here.

-Stephanie! -Stephanie!

...And the boy in the car says

there's nothing in the woods to be afraid of.

But the girl...

is still

scared to death.

And she starts hearing...

...Coming from the roof of the car.

So now the boy's getting a little freaked out, too.

And then, all of a sudden,

a news bulletin comes onto the radio--

A homicidal maniac is loose!

And he has a sharp hook where his left hand should be.

So, now, the boy's freaked out.

He stomps on the gas,

gets them out of the woods as fast as they can.

When he gets to the girl's house,

he goes around to open her car door...

and on the door handle

is the maniac's bloody hook.

Hah!

Why were they listening to the radio

instead of their phones?

'Cause it's not a true story.

And I thought the hook was supposed

to be in the bumper.

Okay, okay.

You don't like my lame story? You tell one.

You know? Everybody gets a shot.

The scarier, the better.

All right.

The babysitter saw the ghost

of an old woman in a black dress

on the staircase...

With the children behind her,

the babysitter, trembling, faced down the ghost.

The babysitter clutched the fireplace poker,

but the ghost just scowled and said,

"How can you kill me when I'm already...

...Dead!"

Okay.

Um, I got one, too.

So, there was this girl,

and her family made her go to the woods...

and there's no phone service,

so it's like the worst horror ev-er.

The girl ran,

knowing the maniac wasn't far behind,

and in that moment,

she was so glad

that she wore the cute flats

and not the wedge sandals with the buckles.

But the girl couldn't run anymore.

If only her cellphone had worked,

she could call the police,

or the FBI, or the Army...

But it doesn't!

So the maniac...

gets her!

"Ahh!"

She bleeds

all over her pretty top from Forever 21,

and dies...

wishing no one had made her go camping

in the first place.

I-I think Mirabel proved it...

Uh, you know,

zombies, ghosts, and aliens are not nearly as scary

as someone stuck without cell service.

Well, all this carnage has me hungry for s'mores.

Who's in?

-Me! -Ooh, I'm in.

-Yes, I love s'mores. -Definitely.

Oh, no.

No!

Ohh!

It was so close to a glorious toasted brown.

Fourth time's a charm, buddy.

I don't need ridicule from the guy

who lights his like a torch.

I prefer mine charbroiled.

It's a culinary decision.

Mm...

Oh!

Delish!

So this is how he did it.

Grab it, put it in the middle...

then...

squash.

You use the Graham crackers

to slide it off the stick.

That's too hard.

Don't use a fork!

That's wrong!

You said that you wanted to know

all about the other camping trips,

so I'm telling you how we made s'mores

on the other camping trips.

Mirabel, it's no big deal.

No! That's not how Mom would do it!

I didn't mean to upset her.

No, it's not your fault.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

I miss her, too.

I just... I hate being here without her.

And I knew I would,

but you just-- you pushed and you pushed.

I did.

And I was wrong.

I...

I thought this would be good for us.

Sometimes, Dad,

you need to leave the past behind

and move on.

You're a very smart girl.

So I'm told.

I'm... so sorry, Mirabel.

I didn't realize how hard this would be for you.

I just remember

every little moment...

and I know that Gigi and Elisa don't...

But...

Everything reminds me of her.

I can't pretend to have fun here,

and I can't pretend to even want to be here at all.

It just all makes me really sad.

Maybe it's time to make some new memories.

For me...

these memories are comforting.

I'm sorry I ruined your trip.

You didn't.

This, right here?

Well, this has been the...

...Best thing that's happened so far this weekend.

Hanging out with you.

I love you, Daddy.

Can we go home now?

First thing in the morning,

we're gone.

Got room for a marshmallow?

-Yes, I do. -All right!

Do I smell pancakes and bacon?

Mirabel, you rock!

I do, indeed, rock.

See how it's bubbling on the edge?

Go ahead and flip.

Mom also liked to put a sprinkle of cinnamon

on the top while they were still cooking.

Thanks for doing this for Gigi.

It's for all of us.

All right. To...

vacation.

T ne vacations in the future.

I'll drink to that.

Oh, boy, I sure hope you're not charging for those,

because I lost all my money to the short kid at poker.

Sit.

Mm! Cinnamon-y goodness.

Mom's secret ingredient.

I always have a cereal-chaser

with my pancakes.

Pass the milk.

-There you go. -Thank you.

Mm!

Thank you, girls.

I mean, this is a terrific surprise.

This isn't the only surprise.

Oh, really?

-This way. -Okay...

I feel like we're walking too fast now.

Okay. All right.

We've been walking for a while.

We haven't reached the county line, right?

Patience, Daddy.

Okay, turn.

I have patience. Okay? Are we here? We're here?

What is it?

You found it!

We got up super-early and came looking.

You did all this this morning?

We found a picture of you and Mom in the camp office.

There was a landmark that enabled us to find the tree.

Thank you.

Come here!

Civilization.

Oh, come on.

Ohh.

Everyone grab something.

Okay, never mind.

Your family vacations are intense.

Don't ask me again.

You know what, why don't you go for a nap?

I'll help you with the bags later.

-Really? -No, not really.

Hey, uh...

I'm gonna go check in at the gym.

I'll be back in an hour with pizza for dinner.

Okay.

Wait. Uh...

You checking on the gym,

or Stephanie?

It pains me deeply to say it,

but you made me think.

I-I do talk about her a lot.

Maybe I think about her a lot, too.

More than I admit.

Life is now, bro.

You just gotta do it, okay? With no fear.

Look at you with the wisdom.

I'm not just a pretty face.

That's true. That's true.

Ah, the gym closes at 7:00 on Sundays.

She's home...

I'm going over.

My man!

Yeah!

Ow!

Oh! Sorry about that.

It's all right. It's all right.

Go get her!

Boss man!

How was the trip?

I-It was great, yeah.

I, um, I just came to see Stephanie.

O-Obviously, since this is her apartment.

I, uh...

I-I-I should have called.

Ah, Stephanie's in the shower.

We just had a bit of an Olympics.

Whew. That girl has stamina.

Want to come in and wait?

No. Uh... no.

I'll see her tomorrow at work.

And you don't need to tell her I came by.

You got it.

Oh! They said that about me?

No!

What else did they say about me?

Oh, wait. Hold on.

Yeah, sorry.

I'm getting, like, forty-hundred texts right now.

'Kay. Talk later.

So, it turns out that I was the hit of the party.

But you weren't there.

Exactly.

Since no one could reach me, it made me all mysterious.

So now you're more popular for not showing up?

Let that be a lesson.

You don't want to appear too overexposed or too eager.

Hello?

Yeah, that's right.

Sometimes, I just go off the grid.

What's all that?

Mom used to keep scrapbooks.

She'd put in pictures,

birthday party invitations...

there's even a lock of my baby hair taped in one.

I think she'd like me to keep up the tradition.

I love scrapbooking.

It's like Pinterest with paper.

And this leaf is from the Cooper tree.

Oh... wow.

This is lovely.

Really.

Hey, Papi.

Hey.

Let's move this aside...

and have some pizza.

Good plan. Onward.

Yeah.