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When I was small, my mother was everything to me.
I thought she was beautiful and I wanted to be like her.
I used to try and smile,
walk, and talk just like her.
I even practiced laughing like she did.
My mother loved flowers and her favorite flowers were roses.
And so she called my sister Rose.
And she called me... Iris.
Look at that, it's lovely!
I'm fat, aren't I?
No! It's natural.
I know I am!
- Haven't seen my feet in weeks. - What's this?
I don't know.
It's a Cocker Spaniel on a motorbike.
Alright, what about this one?
- My back aches all the time. - I dunno, I give up.
- A vicious circle. - Mother, I'm fed up with it.
Every time I get up and walk around I think I'm gonna bump into something.
I can't stop weeing. My fingers are like sausages.
I've got another two months! I just wanna drop it.
Frank's got me this cream from France for stretch marks.
- He rubs it all over me... - Do you have to?
Guess how much he paid for it.
Rose thinks she's so perfect. Her and Mom are so close.
They're always together, always telling each other everything.
- Iris... - What?
Come over here. Why don't you, come on.
Sit here, love, next to me.
Not now, I'm busy.
Where are you going? Stay with me.
Stay.
I've been thinking...
- D'you think I should have a go at singing? - Singing?
- You're not listening to me. - I am!
No, no... seriously.
No, I'm really serious. I want to talk to you.
Please, Gary.
What about?
What about?
We never talk.
We talk all the time.
My friend Vron says that when women are thinking "I love him",
men think: "I wonder what my dick will feel like in her mouth?"
I asked her how she knew.
She said they told her. I said, 'They never tell me that'.
She said you have to go behind enemy lines.
So how's it going with Gary then?
- All right. - Yeah?
Yeah.
- Why? - Just asking.
- How long have you been together now? - Two years.
Really? Two years? God, it's gone fast, isn't it?
I love him, but...
I sometimes wonder what it'd be like with someone else.
- Slut. - No, no...
Why?
What about you? How many men have you slept with... to date?
Two.
- You liar! - I have!
Honestly, I have. Two.
Apart from one. I don't count him.
- Why? - Cause it was just a quick fuck.
I just felt horrible.
One day, Mom felt dizzy and she fell over.
We took her to hospital.
They gave her a brain scan and then they told her she got a tumor.
They told her she got three weeks or three months.
She's never been ill or anything.
But she's dying...
She hasn't even noticed me yet.
- I've decided to have a go at singing. - Really?
My fingers are so swollen!
- You don't think I can sing. - I didn't say that. Give it back.
Come on, you'll lose it! Iris, don't be childish.
Give me back my ring! Give it back!
- What is it? - It's moving!
You're not having it, are you?
No.
No, it's over, I'm fine now.
Mom didn't want to believe what the doctor had told us.
Nor did Rose.
All I kept thinking was, 'Three weeks, or three months...'
Three weeks or three months...
- Mom, what are you doing? - Rose?
No, it's me, Iris.
- Where is Rose? - I'm here!
I was worried.
It's scratching there.
- There. - Thank you.
I spoke to the doctor.
He said you've got to have the chemo again, you're on it next week.
- No. - Why not?
Cause I don't want to.
- You've got to. - I said no.
Mom, I got you a present.
- It's a healing crystal. - That's lovely, darling.
Sandra's mom had cancer, it went to her brain, just like you, she had chemo...
And she's dead. - You've got to think positive.
- I'm finished, Rose. - I can't have the baby without you!
You'll be fine, love.
- You're well, you've got Frank... - What about acupuncture?
Or Shiatsu... I've read these books...
You can't cure cancer with acupuncture, Iris.
She thinks she knows everything.
- The body renews itself every 28 days. - Don't be silly.
- Have you read my books? - No, I don't want to read them.
- You're not gonna, are you? - I don't want to!
- Where's Dad? - In Australia.
Australia?! - He left, moved there ten years ago.
I remember...
I'll be the man.
I'll lead.
Help me up.
Two men took her body away.
Rose and I walked through the rooms deciding who was having what.
Rose knew exactly what she wanted but I didn't.
I took the mahogany dining room table.
Except I didn't have anywhere to put it...
No.
I don't like this one.
This manager in the shop where I worked, she said she was sorry about my mom.
She didn't like her mother.
She said her mother had ruined her childhood, and now,
her mother made her go everywhere with her.
- No, this is too small. - This manager, she didn't like me.
She gave me these funny looks. I don't know why.
She was always behind me.
As if she expected me to do something wrong.
Everywhere I went, there she was, staring at me.
I couldn't breathe. I wanted to scream.
- Fuck it! - What?
I said, 'Fuck it'!
You all right?
Iris!
Sorry... Your drink was about to fall.
Thanks. Oh, fuck!
- You all right? - Yeah.
Do you want to talk to me?
- What's your name? - Tom.
I'm Rose.
- Nice name. - What's nice about it?
Don't know. I like roses.
So did my mother. They were her favorite flowers. She's dead.
Sorry to hear about that. - I don๏ฟฝt know why I talked to him.
Maybe it was his eyes, or his mouth,
or the sound of his voice, or the way he moved.
I wanted to talk to him.
I wanted to kiss him. And so I did.
- You want me to fuck you? - Yeah.
I slide my thigh between his legs.
He lifts up my skirt.
He strokes the inside of my thigh.
He kisses me everywhere:
He kisses my breasts...
...my stomach...
He takes my nipple in his mouth and sucks it.
He bites it hard.
He stands behind me, holding my hips,
grinds against me,
his hand between my legs, parting me.
He slips it inside me, pushing it all the way,
deep inside me.
- I can't breathe. - What?
I feel like I'm suffocating.
Come back here. What's the matter? What's wrong?
I need space.
I mean it, Gary. I do, I'm serious.
- Look... - I'm gonna have to move out.
- Look, you're just depressed. - Depressed?
It's only natural...
You've had a difficult day.
You think it's because of my mother, don't you?
It's got nothing to do with my mother!
It's got nothing to do with her!
I'm sick.
- Hello? - Hello, it's me.
- Where did you get my number? - You gave it to me.
- Just wanted to make sure you're okay. - I'm bloody brilliant, thank you.
By the way, what did you do with Mom's ashes?
- Iris? - Yeah, I've got them.
- What about the ring? - What ring?
You know, Mom's ring, the one she always wore.
I was thinking that... I don't know, if...
If you don't want it, maybe we could... we could take turns wearing it, or...
Rose?
I just miss Mom.
Can't believe she's dead.
Keep forgetting, I keep wanting to ring her, and then...
I remember she's gone and I'll never see her again.
Iris?
Iris...
Yes, can I help you?
- Hi, Silvia. - Iris! You look so... different.
I didn't recognize you.
The party of ten we confirmed the Bahamas on the 24th, can I leave it with you?
- Room for me, is there? - It's 2,400 lbs a ticket, Iris.
- What makes you think I can't pay? - Do you need to borrow some money?
- Are you all right, then? - Yeah.
- You? - Oh, I'm fine.
- Are you sure you're okay? - Yeah.
- You look like a slut. - Thank you.
Listen, we've got to talk about Mom's ashes.
- What about them? - What we're gonna do with them, when?
- I don't know. - We'll talk on Saturday.
If you have to.
Why are you wearing Mom's coat? And why have you got a wig on?
I felt like it.
- I don't think it's right. It's spooky. - I'll tell you what's spooky...
All that love, and marriage, and Christmas together shit.
It's too spooky. I can't stand it, I'd rather murder myself.
I miss Mom.
Don't start.
I used to talk to her every day.
"I miss you" Love, Gary.
- You look so different, Iris. - D'you think so?
- You're never gonna guess what? - What?
I met this man. I slept with him straight away.
- You're joking. - When I say "slept", we never slept.
We had sex. His name is Tom.
Did you use a condom? Well, what about Gary?
Things are sort of complicated between us at the moment.
Vron, he was incredible! - And you're together no more?
Well, I've moved out for the moment.
It was like nothing could stop me, I wanted him so badly...
- He said he'd ring me. If he doesn't, d'you think I should ring him? - No.
He said he'd ring soon.
- I wonder how long soon is. - Could be a month... could be weeks.
Iris, it's awful.
Lend me a fiver. Please, I'll pay you back.
- When? - When I get a job. - A job where I work?
Shit! No, thanks.
I'm not doing another crap job again. I'm not!
I lost my keys on the No.12B bus, last Tuesday or Wednesday.
If they're not handed in within two hours, you're probably not gonna see them again.
I'll take your details, anyway. What's your name?
Ms. Smith. - This is Helena.
All right. What's it like? - It's got a flowery keyring.
Any particular colour?
The number you have dialed has not been recognized.
Please check it and try again.
The number you have dialed has not been recognized.
Please check it and try again.
Wow, who died?
No one.
I just love flowers. Don't you?
Yes, they're pretty.
- Where do you live? - Egberth.
- How long have you lived there? - Two years.
D'you like it there?
If I was a writer... I'd write about Egberth, 'cause like...
Nobody ever writes about Egberth.
Kiss me.
He lies on top of me,
his tongue is in my mouth,
I pull my skirt up around my waist...
I take his hand and put it between my legs,
I open my legs,
he puts it inside me.
I feel him...
I feel him...
- Can I help you? - Can I join?
- Can you sing? - Yeah, I can.
- You'd have to have an audition. - Okay.
Come back again and I'll listen to you.
I told Rose that Mom was going to give me a sign.
Rose said I was being stupid.
We had a row and we did not speak for a week.
- If you want, I could be there with you. - Where?
- The birth, I could make tea. - Here's your money.
Or I could give you a massage, I'm good at them.
The thing is, Iris... It's not that I don't want you there, it's just...
Frank and I have been working on my birth plan together, and...
I'm confused enough as it is.
Nobody seems to be able to explain to me what contraction feels like.
- You said you'd lend me twenty! - Can't afford it. Easy on that whiskey.
- Please... - No!
What happened to the money Mom left you?
I spent it when I moved out of Gary's.
What about Mom's ring?
I've looked for it, I don't know where she put it.
It must be somewhere.
You should never have left Gary, he was nice and clever.
- Are you seeing anyone else? - Yes. - Who?
- You don't know them. - Them?! What do you mean, 'them'?
- You are being careful, aren't you? - Yes.
You oughta use condoms, 'cause you know what happens if you don't.
Look, what are you going on for? You're not my mother, you know!
I had a mother once and I don't want another one, especially not you.
- Well, I'll have my money back then. - No. - Give it back!
No!
- Give me my money! - No!
- Give it back! - No!
Hello.
- Did you go to the hospital? - Yes. I'm not gonna bother going back.
It's the same every time, I've got my list of questions,
I ask them, by the time it gets round to my turn, the class is over.
I'll go then. - She wants her mommy...
- Shut up! - Don't ya?
She wants mommy, don't ya?
Nobody seems to understand. This could happen anywhere,
I could be sitting on the bus, I could be shopping,
the waters would be running down my legs, everyone would be looking!
I'll look after you. Give us a kiss.
- Hello? - Hello?
Hello, Iris.
It's me, Mom.
Can you hear me?
I can see you, darling but, you can't see me 'cause I'm dead.
- Hello? - Hello?
Tom!
You guessed it.
I didn't think you'd call.
I said I would.
Where are you?
Manchester.
- Manchester? - Yeah.
I want to see you.
I want to see you too.
- Are you in bed? - Yeah.
- What are you wearing? - Nothing.
- I think about you... - Yeah?
I think about the time we met...
I loved the way you kissed me.
Damn. You're turning me on.
- I love your voice. - I love your voice too.
You've got a great voice. So... so sexy...
I want to get in bed with you.
That's nice...
You've got a beautiful cock.
It's yours.
You can do whatever you like with it.
I want you in my mouth. Would you like that?
Yeah...
- I want you to come... - Yeah?
- I want you to come in my mouth. - Oh, yeah...
That's great...
- I want you to come all over me. - You make me so hot...
I want you inside me.
I love it when you hug me, and you bring me into you.
Oh God!
Sorry. I'm standing in a phone box.
What?
- I've gotta go. See you next week. - When? What time?
I'll call you on Friday.
I'll call you about six, okay? We'll talk about it then. I gotta go.
Fine. Try this one.
Fine. How about this one?
- Tastes nice? - Why, d'you want some?
I just thought you'd prefer something a bit stronger.
Ah, you think you're strong, do you?
- Are you following me? - I was just passing...
Is this you new look and new boyfriend?
- D'you want a lift? - Why? - Cause I wanna talk.
Why would I wanna talk to you? What about?
- Don't be like that, Iris. - Like what?
I just want to talk to you, that's all.
Iris, please, I wanna talk to you.
Look, I love you.
- When did you discover that? - I've always loved you!
We were good together. It worked!
- Come on, Iris... - What abut the futon?
I hated it but you wouldn't have it! You never fucking listened to me!
You left because of the futon?
Your skin is so soft.
- I want you. - I can't.
Why not?
I don't want to have sex.
With me.
Not with anybody else.
I know you're fucking around... So tell me who you're fucking shagging?
I kneel on my hands and knees.
He kneels behind me,
he holds me by the hips and brings me towards him,
he pushes it inside me,
really deep...
He holds me by the shoulders.
I lift up my ass and he moves it in and out of me.
What is your favorite music?
- Jazz. - I like everything...
Classical, rock, pop,
salsa, samba, reggae...
- Where are you going? - I've gotta go.
Are you not gonna stay?
We could have a take away, or... a bottle of beer, or...
I gotta go, to work.
Work on a Sunday?
I'll call you tomorrow.
I thought you were gonna stay and talk.
If you don't talk, you might as well be a cupboard.
- We talked last night. - No, we didn't, we got drunk.
People talk too much.
I don't know anything about you.
That's what's so nice. It's different.
I don't even know where you live.
I told you - I'm in between flats at the moment.
Have you got a girlfriend?
Are you married?
Tell me, I want to know.
Look...
It's not what you say...
...it's what you do that counts.
- All we do is fuck. - What?
I said, can you do a duck?
I can't believe the state of Iris...
D'you see what she had on the other day? - I couldn't really miss it, could I?
- Do you think she's pretty? - Yes, of course she is.
Think she's prettier than me?
Of course not, don't be silly.
She's got a great body, though.
What?
Rose, what?
- Rose, it's just a joke, what? - You fancy her, don't you?
- Come on, I don't fancy her... - You just said she had a great body!
I said it, but it doesn't mean anything. It was a joke...
What do you mean? That joke's not funny because you know how I feel.
- I know how you feel at the moment. - You don't know actually, I feel fat!
- What about the way that I feel? - Who cares... What do you mean?
I have to put up with Rose this, Rose that...
I have to put up with this great big bump, my sister, and my mother died...
- If you wanna be somewhere else... - Where did that come from?
Sorry I'm so fat, so boring and ugly. I'm sorry!
I just want to sit down and have a quiet drink and a cuddle!
What are you doing?
Get off! Don't tickle me!
Give us a kiss, fatty.
- Are you ready yet? - What for?
We will bury our Mom's ashes. I told you.
- I haven't got them. - What do you mean?
I lost them.
What do you mean, you lost them?
Well, where have you lost them?
I don't know. By the time I realized, it was too late to find them.
I don't believe you. I don't believe you!
Show me where you've put them. You answer me!
Iris, will you answer me!
Where are Mom's ashes? This is important, where are they?
Try and remember the last time you had them, we were at the crematorium.
What are you doing? Are you showing off?
You're showing off 'cause Chappy's here? Hello, my name is Rose, I'm her sister.
You can't just lose Mom's ashes and pretend nothing's happened!
What's wrong with you?
I don't know why you're getting upset. - Cause my Mom's ashes are missing!
They were left in your care and you've lost them. Now where are they?
She's dead anyway, ain't she? What are you getting upset about?
If all you're bothered about is ashes, have them! Have some ashes, go on!
- What are you doing? - Here, I don't want them!
- What are you doing? - You do nothing but talk about them!
I want nothing to do with them! Take these fucking ashes!
Take them and burn them! Put them in a little box!
You don't give me nothing! Go ahead! Get out!
Get the fuck out!
Fuck off!
Get out!
LOST PROPERTY OFFICE
- Are you going to the pub tonight? - I'd love to, just don't want Iris.
- I thought you were mates. - Yes but, you know, things changed.
She's a bit of a slut...
I know. I tried telling her - it's no use, she wont listen to me.
What's the problem?
I don't know. It's sad. I feel sorry for her now.
Come here.
You don't think I know how it feels to be like a woman?
To have something stuck inside you.
See this? A guy stuck a knife in me. I couldn't get it out.
And I killed him.
- Yeah, right. - You don't believe me?
Come here.
You've got a great body...
You like that, don't you?
What's up, d'you like it?
Yeah, I like that...
But I don't like you.
You're fucking mad.
I like that in a woman. Come here!
What are you doing?
Please...
Can you help me? There seems to be something wrong with my phone.
Can you put me back on immediately?
Yes.
What bloody bill? I just fucking moved in!
I'm blind so... I have to have a phone...
342 32 37.
Thirty fucking eight what??
- Hello? - Hi.
Tom, you said you were gonna call me tonight,
and I needed to know for sure 'cause...
Can I call you back?
I need to plan my evening, and...
I can't talk now, I'll call you back.
My phone's broken, so... could you call me back on 342 75 61?
Okay.
When will you call? - Later.
- Could you be more specific? - I'll call you at ten.
Are you sure? Cause it's a phone box, and...
- Ten? - Yeah.
You're gonna be long, love? Tell him other people want to use the phone.
- What are you doing? - What?
What are you doing? - I'm waiting for a phone call.
Can I use the phone, please?
- It's an urgent phone call. - I'll use the phone, d'ya mind waiting?
You're not talking to no one. I want to use the phone. I need two minutes.
I wanna make a call. You can wait for your call.
He said he would call at ten!
Piss off!
Fuck off while I use the phone!
Come on.
Go all the way with me.
Come on, trust me.
Trust me.
Just trust me, yeah? Just trust me...
Just lie down.
Just lie down.
On your back.
Just lie down.
Go all the way with me.
Yeah, go all the way with me....
Just trust me.
Just trust me...
Vron? Can I have a word, please?
Are you all right?
Yeah, can't talk here. Can I meet you later on tonight?
Oh no, I'm busy tonight.
Tomorrow, then? Something's happening I gotta talk to you about.
I'll take you out to dinner. I got paid up.
All this money...
You'll come out, then?
Please Vron, I really need to talk to you.
All right then. We'll meet tomorrow, but only for a drink.
- Seven o'clock? - Seven o'clock is fine.
Thank you. - See you. Take care.
- Bye, Helena! - Bye!
- What was that all about? - She wants me go for a drink with her.
- Are you going? - No.
Oh, shit!
She'll be upset.
I know, but she's just gotten so, like...
I don't know...
Where did you get your coat from? I said, where d'you get your coat from?
Give my fucking bag back!
Shit!
Have you seen Vron? I was supposed to meet her here at 7.
No.
Could you lend me a pound for some bus fare, please?
Or 10 pence for a phone call? I hate to be asking but it's an emergency.
- Piss off! - Thanks.
This is Veronica๏ฟฝs home phone, leave a message and I'll call you.
Vron, it's me. You're not gonna believe it.
I've been robbed.
Listen, I'll give you a ring, yeah?
- A local reverse charge call, please. - Number, please.
734 56 32.
Tell him it's Iris.
Go ahead, please.
Hello, Frank? It's me, is Rose there?
- She left for a conference in London. - Shit!
If you're quick, you'll catch her at the station.
Rose!
- What are you doing here? - Thank God I've found you!
- Can you lend me some money? - No, not again.
- Seriously, I have no money! - This always happens to you.
- I got mugged! - What do you mean?
- I got mugged tonight! - Are you all right?
I was on my way to see Vron. They took all my money off me.
- Did they hurt you? - It was these little girls!
- Oh, then it's all right... - Why are you getting away for?
- I've gotta get this train! - Please, Rose!
- I get paid next week. - Okay, okay...
Thank you, I really appreciate this. I promise I'll pay you back.
- What's that? - What?
- On your fucking finger! - It's nothing.
Fucking liar!
Mom gave it to me before she died. I didn't wanna hurt you.
No, it's all right. She's my sister.
Don't fucking interfere!
Rose! Don't walk away from me!
Don't you dare walk away!
I hate you! You fucking lying bitch!
- Reverse charge call, please. - Number?
634 11 35.
- Name? - Iris.
- Hold on. - Thank you.
Hello? Sorry, the line is busy.
Could you try him again, please? I know he's in.
I said it's busy!
What?
Just try him again, please. I'm not... try him again, please!
- Hi... - Iris?
What are you doing here?
I tried ringing but it was engaged.
- You all right? - You're not gonna believe this.
I found out that Mom gave Rose the ring.
And I realized that you are the only person I can speak to.
I'm really sorry.
Look, just go home and I'll call you tomorrow.
What's going on? Let me in!
- Tell her, Gary. - Tell me what?
Look, the thing is...
- If you don't, I will. - Do we gotta talk about this now?
Go on!
We are together.
What do you mean, together?
I've always had feelings for Gary.
But you were with him, so I didn't do anything about it...
I'm sorry, but you were doing your own thing, and, you know...
- I should have told you, but... - That's all right.
You should have told me before, it's fine...
I hope you're really happy together.
I only came out for a coffee, anyway...
Fucking dick! You fucking...
Calm down! Get out! - Get off of me!
Fuck off!
Fuck off!
Gary...
Gary!
What are you doing here? What time is it?
I'm sorry, Frank, I lost my keys.
I've got nowhere else to go. - Come in, come on.
I'm fine, thanks. I lose everything, in one month I lost:
two pairs of shoes, a bag, a boyfriend, a mother...
- Do you mind if I have a drink? - No, go on.
Rose phoned me, you know. She told me what happened at the station.
She can fuck off, she's got my ring!
What is wrong with you two? I wish you'd stop fighting!
- Don't start. - I'm not starting.
- I care about you, I like you. - Yeah?
Yeah, of course I do...
Now go to bed.
Stay.
Just get some sleep... All right?
- I can't sleep. - We'll talk in the morning.
I don't wanna talk.
Get some sleep. Good night.
Frank?
I can't sleep.
Can I sleep in here with you?
I don't think that would be a good idea, Iris.
I'm lonely.
Come on...
Hold me.
Please.
Okay.
Now go to sleep.
No.
No.
I can't do this. I just don't wanna do this, okay?
What are you doing, Frank?
Iris...
Fuck you!
Iris, sit here, next to me.
We never talk.
I sometimes wonder what it'd be like with someone else.
I'm gonna have a go at singing.
Decided to have a go at singing.
Iris, don't be childish.
Give me back my ring. Give it back!
Two men took her body away. I didn't feel anything. Why should I?
- Hi... - You all right?
- Can I come in? - Yeah.
- You all right? - Yeah.
I, um... I've got you a present.
A weekend trip to Paris. Everything included. To Eurostar.
Thank you.
- Listen, Iris, about the ring... - Forget it, it's all right.
No, I can't. You see, the point is...
Mom didn't give it to me, I took it.
I don't know why I did it. I'm sorry.
I've got something to tell you too.
You shouldn't have lied to me, Iris!
You lied to me too.
Come here. Come here.
I'm sorry.
I thought you were her favourite.
Don't be stupid.
- Don't be so stupid. -Come here.
God, we were insane!
- It's horrible. - I know.
- She never liked small spaces... - Claustrophobic!
I put the kettle on.
Hello, Grandma!
I miss her.
I want her back.
It'll be okay.
I was there at the birth, after all.
Frank was away on business and couldn't get back, so I did the video for him.
It was amazing. The baby just plopped out.
I was the first one to hold him, after Rose.
Rose and me, we're not that different. We are alike in so many ways.
Except she's always tidying up and still tries to boss me around.
Me maid said to me the other day:
"I stood outside the club the other night, you never turned up."
I said, "I had to go to the hospital and visit me husband, Biff."
Collin Biff was a big idle fat fuck, you see.
And she said, "What's wrong with him?" I said, "He's in intensive care."
"What with?" I said, "Craps."
"You don't go to intensive care with craps." - "You do, if you fucking give them to me."
But enough of me babbling on. We saved the best for last.
Give the best of our talent night: Welcome, Iris Kelly!
I still miss Mom.
But not like before.
Sometimes I walk down the street, and I see someone who reminds me of her.
And I'll remember the way she walked,
the sound of her voice,
the way she smiled.
It's nice remembering those things about her.
The things I thought I'd forgotten.
Maybe I'll have a go at the singing, or maybe I'll work in a flower shop.
As long as you put an ad in the paper.
Lots of people applied for the job, but she's chosen me.
I've always loved flowers.
I love their smell,
their colors, and the shapes they make...
I got to learn all their names by heart.
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