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1
00:00:03,612 --> 00:00:05,396
Oh, hello.
2
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,137
Nice to see you all.
3
00:00:07,181 --> 00:00:10,097
Some return visitors I see,
and some fresh faces.
4
00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:11,794
You know,
I was just thinking about
5
00:00:11,837 --> 00:00:14,971
how we put people in boxes
and make assumptions about them
6
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,234
based merely
on what they do for a living.
7
00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:20,498
You said you owned a cat café,
so I drew you living alone.
8
00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:22,196
Cats are like your babies
9
00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:24,241
and you eat canned soup
for dinner every night.
10
00:00:25,851 --> 00:00:27,288
Not even close.
11
00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:29,377
Spot-on.
12
00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:32,206
My mother's very concerned
that because of my job,
13
00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:33,772
I'll be single forever.
14
00:00:33,816 --> 00:00:36,210
She also fancies herself
to be a bit of a...
15
00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:38,125
how should I put this?
16
00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:41,606
♪ Matchmaker, matchmaker,
make me a match♪
17
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:43,608
-♪ Find me a find♪
-Mother, you can't do this...
18
00:00:43,652 --> 00:00:45,567
-♪ Catch me a catch♪
-...in the middle of a cat café.
19
00:00:45,610 --> 00:00:48,918
♪ Matchmaker, matchmaker,
I'll bring the veil♪
20
00:00:48,961 --> 00:00:50,920
♪ You bring the groom...♪
21
00:00:50,963 --> 00:00:53,662
Which is why earlier
in the week, this happened.
22
00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:55,359
Katharine, I've found him.
23
00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:57,144
I've found your soul mate.
24
00:00:57,187 --> 00:00:58,754
A gentleman I met at the track.
25
00:00:58,797 --> 00:01:01,974
He seemed very interested
in what you do,
26
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:05,674
and when I showed him a picture
of you, he didn't balk.
27
00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:10,635
Okay, as enticing as that is,
I am not gonna go on a date
28
00:01:10,679 --> 00:01:12,855
with a random man you met
at the horse track.
29
00:01:12,898 --> 00:01:16,554
He's not a random man.
He's the track announcer.
30
00:01:17,512 --> 00:01:19,905
I've always been
fascinated by that skill set.
31
00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:23,126
And I'm going on a date
with a track announcer
32
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,346
because I said Yes To My Mother,
Yes To My Mother,
33
00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:27,435
and taking the lead
is Hell Must've Frozen Over.
34
00:01:27,478 --> 00:01:30,699
-[bell dings]
-Oh. Soup's done.
35
00:01:30,742 --> 00:01:32,788
♪
36
00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:41,013
Daniel, come get your latte
before it gets cold.
37
00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:42,363
Thank you.
38
00:01:42,406 --> 00:01:44,930
Mm-hmm.
39
00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:46,715
Whoa, hey, Randi.
40
00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:48,543
Can you use a friendlier tone?
41
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:52,024
Maybe throw in
a "Have a meow-tastic day"?
42
00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:54,157
Which is what I do
for every other customer.
43
00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:57,029
But Daniel comes in here
every damn day and never tips.
44
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:59,031
Unless you count that one time
the loyalty card
45
00:01:59,075 --> 00:02:00,729
from the yogurt shop
fell out of his pocket.
46
00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:03,079
And yes, I did use it
to get a free yogurt.
47
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,299
Marty used to overtip
just to show off.
48
00:02:05,342 --> 00:02:08,171
One time this waiter said
he had lost his watch.
49
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:09,694
Marty gave him a watch.
50
00:02:09,738 --> 00:02:11,348
Well, that sounds
very Jesus-like.
51
00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:13,394
It was my watch.
52
00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:14,656
[phone rings]
53
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,572
[gasps]
Oh, look.
54
00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:19,356
It's Brandon,
the track announcer
55
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,531
my mom set me up with.
56
00:02:20,575 --> 00:02:22,142
He sent me a picture
57
00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:24,013
so that I will recognize him
when we meet.
58
00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:27,886
He is cuter than a calico
in a sweater-vest.
59
00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:30,585
Ooh, I'd hit that.
60
00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:32,500
That's something
I've heard people say.
61
00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:34,284
I wish I hadn't tried it.
62
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,025
RANDI:
Well, I predict
63
00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:38,549
that you and Dimples
are gonna have a great time.
64
00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:40,769
I hope so. I just don't want
to get too excited.
65
00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:42,249
My mother has
a terrible track record
66
00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:44,338
when it comes to making
decisions for me.
67
00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:47,341
SHEILA:
Guys love girls with curls.
68
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:53,869
Okay, he says,
"Excited to meet you tomorrow.
69
00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:56,437
I'll be there even if I have
to come straight from work."
70
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,178
Sweet, flirtatious.
71
00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:04,184
So I'll say, "I'll be there
even if I still have diarrhea."
72
00:03:05,663 --> 00:03:07,056
No, I don't have that,
73
00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:08,579
I'm just trying
to be flirtatious.
74
00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:10,059
Okay, well, never in the history
of flirting
75
00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:12,192
has anyone
ever invoked diarrhea.
76
00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:15,238
I'm just impressed
you know how to spell it.
77
00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:18,763
I couldn't.
78
00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:20,461
Okay, then, I won't send
the diarrhea text.
79
00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:23,115
Oh, I just sent
the diarrhea text.
80
00:03:23,159 --> 00:03:24,465
Why do they put
the send and delete buttons
81
00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:26,249
so close to each other?
82
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:29,905
There's an "H" in there
somewhere.
83
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:33,430
So, what if I texted,
84
00:03:33,474 --> 00:03:35,127
"Maybe you come back
to my place after
85
00:03:35,171 --> 00:03:36,564
and pet my new kitten?"
86
00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:38,043
Is that flirting?
87
00:03:38,087 --> 00:03:40,481
I don't know,
but it made me blush.
88
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,874
Ooh, you're a project,
aren't you?
89
00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:46,182
Piano karaoke night.
You're all coming.
90
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,488
Especially you.
91
00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:49,185
You know why.
92
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,013
Me? No?
93
00:03:51,056 --> 00:03:52,188
-Why?
-[laughs]
94
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,973
There was a piano
in our college dorm.
95
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:56,758
Max and I used to meet there
at 4:00 a.m. and play
96
00:03:56,801 --> 00:04:00,022
the loudest version of
"Piano Man" you've ever heard.
97
00:04:00,065 --> 00:04:03,243
We woke up the whole dorm.
It did not make us popular.
98
00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:05,506
-But it made us happy.
-So you're in?
99
00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:08,204
I was in before
you even invitedme.
100
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,945
That's how in I'm in.
101
00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:11,816
Great. All right,
I'll see you all there.
102
00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:14,341
Uh-oh. Piano karaoke night
is the same night
103
00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:16,473
you're supposed to be
hanging out with racetrack dude.
104
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:18,475
-No.
-Yes.
105
00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:20,042
But I really want
to hang out with Max.
106
00:04:20,085 --> 00:04:22,871
He's a guaranteed good time.
He gets me.
107
00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:25,308
But doesn't he have
a girlfriend in France?
108
00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:27,136
Ex-girlfriend. Brigitte.
109
00:04:27,179 --> 00:04:28,529
But she sounds awful.
110
00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:30,357
Max said she hated
all the best American stuff.
111
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,055
Ketchup, country music,
football.
112
00:04:33,098 --> 00:04:37,233
Why don't we just admit it,
this is all homoerotic, no?
113
00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:41,977
Let me check and see if Brandon
114
00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:43,848
even responded
to the diarrhea text.
115
00:04:43,892 --> 00:04:47,112
He's probably figuring out
a way to cancel on me anyway.
116
00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:50,333
Oh, wow. He says,
"L-O-L. See you tomorrow."
117
00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:52,161
Damn it, he gets me, too.
118
00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:54,032
Oh, why don't you just
hang out with Max
119
00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:55,556
for the first half of the night,
then go meet up with Brandon
120
00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:57,297
for a drink on the later side?
121
00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:58,689
That's what I would do.
122
00:04:59,429 --> 00:05:01,039
Then that's what I'm gonna do.
123
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:04,347
39 and killing it
on the social scene.
124
00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:06,393
Who would expect that?
125
00:05:07,785 --> 00:05:09,657
Draw me now, bitch.
126
00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:17,447
I'm kind of excited.
127
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:18,883
The evening feels
so full of possibility.
128
00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:20,711
Yeah, it is.
Two guys, one night,
129
00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,539
so you need to look double cute.
130
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:25,499
Damn, girl. You've been robbed.
131
00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:27,414
[chuckles]
No.
132
00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:29,329
That's my capsule wardrobe.
133
00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:32,636
15 items of clothing that can
be worn 47 different ways.
134
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,769
I needed to save money
when I opened the café.
135
00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:37,467
Yeah. And the number one thing
men are attracted to
136
00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:39,426
in a woman is thriftiness.
137
00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:41,079
Well, in that case,
Daniel "No Tipper"
138
00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:43,821
would be super turned on
by my closet right now.
139
00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:46,389
I would not wish that guy
on my worst enemy.
140
00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:47,912
Actually, I would.
141
00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:50,262
Maybe I should set him up
with Sienna.
142
00:05:50,306 --> 00:05:53,614
This seems like the perfect
night for my green pantsuit.
143
00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:56,268
What-- Didn't Max just see you
in that at Tara's wedding?
144
00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:58,401
Yes, but-- Fine.
145
00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:00,664
I'll wear my favorite leggings.
146
00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:02,666
Now I know I am not
about to watch you
147
00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,625
put on a pair of leggings
you just pulled
148
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,409
out of the dirty laundry
hamper, am I?
149
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:07,715
Oh, come on, you've done it.
150
00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:09,978
And you've done it.
We've all done it.
151
00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:11,632
You do you,
but just so you know,
152
00:06:11,675 --> 00:06:13,198
there's a sock
stuck to the butt.
153
00:06:13,242 --> 00:06:14,591
[laughs]:
Oh.
154
00:06:14,635 --> 00:06:16,767
Well, that would've
been awkward.
155
00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:19,335
All right,
you know how it works.
156
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,771
Sign up for a spot,
and when it's your turn,
157
00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:22,643
you come on up
and show us what you got.
158
00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:23,818
Now, this is a safe space.
159
00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:25,559
But if you suck,
I'm gonna ring this bell,
160
00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:27,038
and you better back away
from the piano
161
00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:28,779
and get your ass off the stage.
162
00:06:28,823 --> 00:06:30,607
All right,
let's give a warm welcome
163
00:06:30,651 --> 00:06:32,740
to the Whitworth sisters
and Little Andy.
164
00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:34,829
[cheering, applause]
165
00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:37,397
Can you have a dog in a bar?
166
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,050
Can you have a cat in a café?
167
00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:40,487
Touché.
168
00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:42,793
So, I signed us up for the end.
169
00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:44,795
I feel confident
we can really bring it home.
170
00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,102
I'm supposed to meet
someone for a drink later.
171
00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:48,843
Do you think you could
move us up to the middle?
172
00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:50,975
Oh, sure. Who you meeting?
173
00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:52,847
Just got a date
with a track announcer.
174
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:55,676
No way. You love that skill set.
175
00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:57,112
Are you sensing
a little jealousy?
176
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:59,201
'Cause I'm sensing
a little jealousy.
177
00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:03,466
By the way,
I made us a set list.
178
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:06,643
Why did you make a set list
without consulting your partner?
179
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:08,384
Because I knew my partner
would like my set list.
180
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,733
It's our old standbys.
181
00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:11,909
But maybe your partner
made her own set list.
182
00:07:11,953 --> 00:07:13,607
So even though my partner
was invited by me,
183
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:16,566
-she thinks she's in charge?
-Are we having our first fight?
184
00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:18,612
Our first fight was
pizza versus Indian food.
185
00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:20,396
We couldn't have made it
to the pizza place
186
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,050
-before they closed.
-If you'd have made a left
187
00:07:22,093 --> 00:07:23,704
instead of a right,
we could have.
188
00:07:23,747 --> 00:07:24,661
It was a one-way street.
189
00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:26,184
Not that section of it.
190
00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:29,840
-One more?
-You know, why not?
191
00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:31,799
Marty used to cut me off
after one
192
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:34,628
because too much alcohol
gives me night sweats.
193
00:07:34,671 --> 00:07:37,369
But he's not around
to get wet anymore.
194
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:39,981
I'm sorry to hear that.
When did you guys break up?
195
00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:42,592
-Four months ago.
-I feel you man.
196
00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:44,725
I just got my divorce papers
Thursday.
197
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,030
Hit me like a ton of bricks.
198
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:47,728
-Mm, bless your heart.
-Yeah.
199
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,381
She was always like,
"You're never around.
200
00:07:49,425 --> 00:07:51,732
You're out at that bar
every night."
201
00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:53,081
Because I own a bar.
202
00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:56,476
You knew that
when you met me in the bar.
203
00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:57,825
Marty was the opposite.
204
00:07:57,868 --> 00:07:59,522
He used to say,
"You don't want to go anywhere."
205
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:02,525
But I like being home
and tending to my garden.
206
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:05,441
And I cannot be away
from my sourdough starter
207
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,530
for longer than 12 hours.
208
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:08,836
You got to feed the beast.
209
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:11,578
You got to feed
the beast.
210
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:14,102
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
211
00:08:14,145 --> 00:08:16,496
Hey, hey, I know that guy.
Did he tip you, Carter?
212
00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:17,584
Aw, come on, man.
213
00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:19,063
Uh, excuse me.
214
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:21,370
I thought it was just me
you didn't tip.
215
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,328
I thought it was some weird
little dance that we were doing.
216
00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:24,547
But when you don't tip
my friends,
217
00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:25,983
I require an explanation.
218
00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:28,029
It's not illegal not to tip.
219
00:08:28,072 --> 00:08:29,987
It's also not illegal
to leave your shopping cart
220
00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:32,729
in the parking lot, but that
really fires me up, too.
221
00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:34,688
Hmm. You're a passionate person.
222
00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:37,473
Mm-hmm.
And you're a fancy lawyer.
223
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,780
I know that 'cause I got
your name from your credit card
224
00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:41,259
and looked your ass up.
225
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:43,392
So you're one of those
well-off cheapskates, huh?
226
00:08:43,435 --> 00:08:46,047
I have a reason for not tipping.
Want to hear it?
227
00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:47,048
Was it because your mommy's
from Europe
228
00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:48,615
and they don't tip there?
229
00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:50,747
Because tipping fosters
sexual harassment,
230
00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:52,836
reflects and amplifies
racial discrimination
231
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,012
and allows businesses
to off-load the burden
232
00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:57,319
of paying workers a fair wage.
233
00:08:57,362 --> 00:09:00,017
Well, do you know what else
tipping fosters?
234
00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:02,411
My beautiful foam art
that you will never see,
235
00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:04,413
which includes two cats
holding a heart
236
00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:06,676
and a grandpa cat
sitting in front of a rainbow.
237
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,897
And you know he's a grandpa
because he's smoking a pipe.
238
00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:12,160
Huh. So, that's why it takes
forever to get a coffee.
239
00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:14,902
Well, if you want fast coffee,
make it at home.
240
00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:17,905
Well, what's the fun in that?
241
00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:23,563
Honey, is it just me,
or do you need a cigarette?
242
00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:26,304
-[cheering]
-Yeah! Good job.
243
00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:28,829
We'll have to bring you back.
All right.
244
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:30,265
You might recognize
this next guy.
245
00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:31,614
All right, he's our bartender.
246
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,050
And just because
he's my good friend
247
00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:34,617
doesn't mean
I won't ring this bell
248
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,488
and throw his ass off the stage.
249
00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:37,620
All right? Let's welcome
250
00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:39,666
Kat Silver and Max Kingbird,
251
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:41,798
aka Silver Bird!
252
00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,539
-All right.
-[cheering]
253
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,585
How you all doing tonight?
254
00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:47,021
[whooping]
255
00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:48,936
-You know...
-[playing piano]
256
00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:52,592
Max and I went
to college together at U of L.
257
00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:54,332
Go, Cards!
258
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:57,205
Max and I
are just reconnecting after,
259
00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:59,468
oh, about ten years apart.
He was working overseas.
260
00:09:59,511 --> 00:10:02,079
Max, of all the places
you traveled to,
261
00:10:02,123 --> 00:10:03,994
what would you say
is your favorite?
262
00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:05,648
I would have to say Paris.
263
00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:08,651
Beautiful people,
flaky croissants,
264
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:10,218
and the language
is so beautiful,
265
00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:12,916
you hardly notice
the cigarette breath.
266
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:17,399
I wonder what time it is
in Paris right now.
267
00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:18,705
Well, that depends.
268
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:20,097
What time is it here?
269
00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:25,146
♪ It's 9:00 on a Saturday♪
270
00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:26,756
♪ Regular crowd♪
271
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,323
♪ Shuffles in♪
272
00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:30,804
♪ There's an old man♪
273
00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:32,675
♪ Sitting next to me♪
That's you, sir.
274
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:35,330
♪ Making love
to his tonic and gin♪
275
00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:39,726
♪ He says, son,
can you play me a memory?♪
276
00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:43,294
♪ I'm not really sure
how it goes♪
277
00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:45,688
♪ But it's sad, and it's sweet♪
278
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,647
♪ And I knew it complete♪
279
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:50,780
♪ When I wore
a younger man's clothes♪
280
00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:54,871
♪ Oh, la, la-la, di-dee-da.♪
281
00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:58,832
♪ Reunited
and it feels so good♪
282
00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:00,703
It really does, Kat.
283
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:04,707
♪ Reunited,
'cause we understood♪
284
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:05,795
Yeah, we did.
285
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:07,449
♪ There's one perfect fit♪
286
00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:11,105
♪ And, sugar, this one is it♪
287
00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:14,325
♪ We both are so excited
'cause we're♪
288
00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:17,677
♪ Reunited, hey, hey...♪
289
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,940
-♪ Gloria♪
-♪ Gloria♪
290
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:21,724
♪ I think they got your number♪
291
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,160
♪ Gloria♪
292
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:24,640
♪ I think they got the alias♪
293
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,076
♪ Alias♪
294
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,208
♪ That you've been
living under♪
295
00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:28,775
♪ Gloria♪
296
00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:30,733
♪ But you
really don't remember♪
297
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:33,736
♪ Was it
something that they said?♪
298
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:37,305
♪ Are the voices in your head♪
299
00:11:37,348 --> 00:11:40,003
♪ Calling, Gloria?♪
300
00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:42,005
-[song ends]
-[cheering, applause]
301
00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:45,356
[barking]
302
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:54,496
[whooping, laughing]
303
00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:57,107
[laughs]:
Okay, first of all, that was hot.
304
00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:59,153
You two really undersold
yourselves.
305
00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:01,459
And then second of all,
it's time for you to go.
306
00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:03,679
-No. Really?
-Yeah. If you leave now,
307
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,463
you'll be fashionably late
to meet Brandon.
308
00:12:05,507 --> 00:12:06,943
Oh, I'm not going.
309
00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:09,946
I'm not going.
310
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:11,818
So, wait. You're just
gonna stand Brandon up
311
00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,384
after you told me
I had to be nice
312
00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:15,386
to everybody, including Daniel?
313
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,824
Oh. Which, by the way, turned
into a whole other thing, girl.
314
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:20,000
I'll tell you about that later.
315
00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:21,610
Look, you saw us up there.
316
00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:24,439
Maybe there's some reason
that Max broke up with Brigitte
317
00:12:24,482 --> 00:12:26,789
and ended up working
next door to me.
318
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,182
Maybe he's the first person
319
00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:29,966
who had to leaveParis
to find love.
320
00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:31,446
I have to play this out.
321
00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:32,708
So what are you
gonna tell Brandon?
322
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,014
I don't know.
323
00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:36,320
That my diarrhea got real bad.
324
00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:38,758
Okay, well, you know
in order to be the kind of girl
325
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:40,585
who goes out on two dates
in one night,
326
00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,805
you actually have to go
on both dates.
327
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:44,502
But your call.
328
00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:45,895
Wingwoman out.
329
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:48,942
RANDI:
Hey, guys.
330
00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:51,858
Don't judge me.
331
00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:54,077
I mean, you saw what I felt.
332
00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:56,645
We "Gloria'd" in unison.
333
00:12:57,907 --> 00:12:59,735
That was fun.
334
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:00,867
So fun.
335
00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:02,738
So, you're really
into France, huh?
336
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:03,913
We should go there someday.
337
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:06,046
Maybe get
on the French cabaret circuit?
338
00:13:06,089 --> 00:13:06,960
Oh, I would love that.
339
00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:08,788
I do need to get back there.
340
00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:10,398
See Brigitte.
341
00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:13,705
Oh? I thought
you broke up with her.
342
00:13:13,749 --> 00:13:15,098
No.
343
00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:17,840
She broke up with me.
344
00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:20,321
But I'm gonna get her back.
345
00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:22,802
Really?
346
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:25,413
Well, I know you can do anything
347
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:27,023
-you set your mind to.
-Hmm.
348
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,938
Remember when you won
those two giant pandas
349
00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:31,593
at the "water in the clown's
mouth" game at Kentucky Kingdom?
350
00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:34,030
I mean, I've seen people win
one giant animal,
351
00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:35,989
but you won two.
352
00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:37,642
[laughs]:
I forgot about that.
353
00:13:37,686 --> 00:13:39,122
I didn't.
354
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,081
Wow, total misread.
355
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:43,779
I have to get out of here.
356
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,173
So... I got to go.
357
00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:48,915
Oh, right. 'Cause you got
your drinks thing.
358
00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:52,092
Yeah. Yeah, that's it.
[chuckles]
359
00:13:52,135 --> 00:13:53,615
I'll see ya.
360
00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:55,356
Hey, Kat?
361
00:13:55,399 --> 00:13:56,487
Yeah?
362
00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:58,446
There's something
around your ankle.
363
00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:01,101
[gasps]
No way!
364
00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:03,843
This is so much worse
than a sock.
365
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:06,236
Oh, Andy, oh...
366
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,195
Andy. No. Andy.
367
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:09,718
Andy, I got to go.
368
00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:10,980
Heel! Heel! Andy!
369
00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:12,199
Little Andy,
release the panties!
370
00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:13,243
Release the panties!
371
00:14:13,287 --> 00:14:14,941
Stop staying "panties"!
372
00:14:20,729 --> 00:14:22,383
[toilet flushing]
373
00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:27,127
How you doing?
374
00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:29,956
Well, ironically, I seem
to have given myself diarrhea.
375
00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:32,436
Oh, that reminds me.
376
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,525
Carter found your drawers
underneath a table,
377
00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:36,005
and he dropped them off for you.
378
00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:38,616
Wow. He even put them
in a plastic bag
379
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,140
like they're evidence.
380
00:14:40,183 --> 00:14:43,926
That would never happen to me.
381
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:46,886
Let me guess: because you
don't wear underwear?
382
00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:52,021
No. Because my buttocks holds
my thong so securely in place.
383
00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:54,067
Brigitte,
I can't with you right now.
384
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:56,808
I can't with youright now.
385
00:14:56,852 --> 00:14:58,680
Listen, you entertained
386
00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:00,943
a lot of people in a lot
of different ways last night.
387
00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,989
I don't think
you should feel bad.
388
00:15:03,032 --> 00:15:04,425
Oh, I don't feel bad.
389
00:15:04,468 --> 00:15:05,948
I feel exhausted.
390
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:07,994
Dating takes so much effort
and energy.
391
00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:10,997
And I didn't even go on a date.
392
00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:13,347
Well, let me ask you something.
393
00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:15,784
When's the last time
you had a boyfriend?
394
00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:17,264
Serious boyfriend?
395
00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:19,005
It's been a minute.
396
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:21,921
I dated a guy named Walter
for four years.
397
00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:23,574
He was a teacher.
398
00:15:23,618 --> 00:15:25,141
Good one. Chemistry.
399
00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:27,491
Then he had
all these medical bills,
400
00:15:27,535 --> 00:15:29,102
and he needed more money,
401
00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:31,756
so he started using his skills
to make meth.
402
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,934
No, uh-uh, that's Breaking Bad.
403
00:15:35,673 --> 00:15:37,937
It did break bad.
404
00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:39,982
Fine.
405
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:43,159
My longest relationship lasted
three months.
406
00:15:43,203 --> 00:15:45,379
They just sort of peter out.
407
00:15:45,422 --> 00:15:48,991
Which is funny, because that's
exactly what my ex, Peter, said
408
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,775
when we broke up.
409
00:15:50,819 --> 00:15:53,169
But he said it like,
"Peter out."
410
00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:57,043
Well, you know dating is just
dating until you get married.
411
00:15:57,086 --> 00:15:58,566
It's not supposed to last.
412
00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:01,743
I know. But I had a date
with a nice, dimple-y guy,
413
00:16:01,786 --> 00:16:04,006
and then I was so sure
that something was happening
414
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:06,661
with me and Max when
apparently nothing was happening
415
00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:08,793
with me and Max.
416
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,143
Can I tell you something?
417
00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:12,841
You make running a business
look easy.
418
00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:14,756
I wouldn't know
what the hell to do.
419
00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:16,758
Dating is hard for some people.
420
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:18,934
Don't beat yourself up.
421
00:16:19,674 --> 00:16:21,241
Thank you, Randi.
422
00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:24,244
Plus, you don't have to give up
on Dimples.
423
00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:25,767
You think
he'd still go out with me
424
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:28,552
after I so rudely blew him off
at the last minute?
425
00:16:28,596 --> 00:16:32,121
Us dating professionals
call that playing hard to get.
426
00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:36,865
I've always wanted
to play hard to get.
427
00:16:38,214 --> 00:16:39,781
Hey, hey.
What's up, little man?
428
00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:43,524
-We still on for tonight?
-Yeah. We gonna drink some beer
429
00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:45,700
and watch some sports-ball?
430
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:48,094
I thought you said you were
gonna teach me and Carter Jr.
431
00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:49,878
how to make cinnamon rolls.
432
00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:52,185
Oh, thank God. I couldn't
remember what we settled on.
433
00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:54,535
Those two beers
had me sweating so bad,
434
00:16:54,578 --> 00:16:56,624
I fell asleep
on the kitchen floor
435
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,365
with the refrigerator door open.
436
00:16:58,408 --> 00:17:01,237
I used a bag of frozen corn
as a pillow.
437
00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:04,197
Hey, all right, well,
I'll pick you up at 6:00.
438
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,025
Okay.
439
00:17:07,548 --> 00:17:09,332
Oh, hello.
440
00:17:09,376 --> 00:17:12,118
Well, my boss says
I have to be nice to you, so:
441
00:17:12,161 --> 00:17:14,294
-Welcome to Kat's Cat Café.
-[chuckles]
442
00:17:14,337 --> 00:17:17,166
How can we make your day
purr-fect?
443
00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:19,951
[chuckles]
I'll have my regular, please.
444
00:17:19,995 --> 00:17:23,259
Oh, no, no, no, I'm sorry,
remembering customers' orders
445
00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:25,348
is another perk of tipping.
446
00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:28,090
-Soy vanilla latte.
-Mm.
447
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:31,180
And I brought you... this.
448
00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:34,183
Film?
449
00:17:34,227 --> 00:17:35,750
Yeah. Looked you up, too.
You're a photographer.
450
00:17:35,793 --> 00:17:37,099
I like your stuff.
451
00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:39,928
I'm pretty sure
that's the kind of film you use.
452
00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:42,235
So is this my tip?
453
00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:43,627
No. No.
454
00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:45,716
It's, um... it's a gift.
455
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,196
So you're still not tipping?
456
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,285
Mm-mm. No,
sticking to my guns on that one.
457
00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:51,157
They actually had a tip jar
at the camera store.
458
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,941
I didn't tip there, either.
459
00:17:52,984 --> 00:17:54,595
Wait, a tip jar
at a camera store?
460
00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:56,249
Okay, now, that is bananas.
461
00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:59,165
[mock gasp]
So we agree on something.
462
00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:02,037
-That'll be $3.45.
-[chuckles]
463
00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:07,260
And not a penny more.
464
00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:12,308
Whoa, he is a piece of work.
465
00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:14,658
So are you
gonna go out with him?
466
00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:17,139
Maybe.
467
00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:19,446
Will you drop my number
at his table?
468
00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:23,928
Are you Brandon?
469
00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:25,756
-I am.
-I'm Kat.
470
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:26,975
Oh, Kat.
471
00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:28,455
Yeah. Yeah. I just...
472
00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:30,979
I feel terrible about
blowing you off last night.
473
00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:32,459
It's just not who I am.
474
00:18:32,502 --> 00:18:36,158
So, um, I brought you
some pastries from my café
475
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:38,334
-by way of apology.
-Oh.
476
00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:39,640
Thank you.
477
00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:40,945
How's the tummy?
478
00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:42,686
Right as rain.
479
00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:45,515
It's still a little bubbly.
480
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:49,780
Look, maybe you would consider
giving us a second chance
481
00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:51,391
to, like, go out on the town,
482
00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:54,481
let our hair down,
maybe kick off our heels...
483
00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:55,569
Oh!
484
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,180
-You okay?
-Yeah.
485
00:18:58,224 --> 00:18:59,442
[clicks tongue, chuckles]
486
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:01,227
There must be
some misunderstanding.
487
00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:03,968
When I asked your mother
if you'd be open to meeting up,
488
00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:05,318
it wasn't for a date.
489
00:19:05,361 --> 00:19:06,754
Oh...
490
00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:09,191
Got it, got it, got it,
got it, got it.
491
00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:11,062
[chuckles]:
Yeah. Ooh.
492
00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:12,890
Uh, what was it for?
493
00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:15,154
It was to get your advice
on starting a business.
494
00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:16,807
See, my real dream
is to open a cigar bar.
495
00:19:16,851 --> 00:19:20,115
Call it something like
Butts on Fire, maybe Nice Ash.
496
00:19:21,812 --> 00:19:24,337
I'm sorry for the confusion.
I'm married.
497
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:27,296
Oh. Ho-ho, so you are.
498
00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:29,342
Oh, and your kids
have dimples, too.
499
00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:31,213
That is a dominant gene,
you know. [chuckles]
500
00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:34,216
Dimple, dimple, dimple. Oh.
501
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:37,350
-[shatters]
-Oh, sorry! That is broken, yeah.
502
00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:38,568
Um, I...
503
00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:41,267
I'll send you a new frame.
[chuckles]
504
00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:44,139
Hey, Bran, you ready for lunch?
505
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,097
Oh. Yeah. Are you okay?
506
00:19:46,141 --> 00:19:48,622
Absolutely. Yeah.
Enjoy your lunch.
507
00:19:48,665 --> 00:19:49,971
After you.
508
00:19:50,014 --> 00:19:52,278
No. After you.
509
00:19:56,760 --> 00:20:00,068
There are times in your life
when you think:
510
00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:01,809
what did it all mean?
511
00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:04,028
You know, what was the lesson?
512
00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:06,117
I bet on two different guys
513
00:20:06,161 --> 00:20:09,164
only to discover that
I didn't have much of a chance
514
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,818
with either one of them.
515
00:20:10,861 --> 00:20:12,907
But I say it was worth it.
516
00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:14,300
It was all worth it.
517
00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:16,432
'Cause it led me here.
518
00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:19,305
[sighs]
519
00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:23,091
Lemons, meet lemonade.
520
00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:31,055
And they're off!
521
00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:33,232
And taking the lead, it's
Don't Get Set Up by Your Mama.
522
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:35,495
Coming up quickly in second is
A Friend's a Friend Forever,
523
00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:37,236
followed by ♪ Gloria!♪
524
00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:39,455
Gaining on the pack is
Stay Positive,
525
00:20:39,499 --> 00:20:41,501
but Sweet Lemonade
is coming up fast!
526
00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:45,548
Oh, it's Sweet Lemonade
for the win! Whoo!
527
00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:50,771
Oh, my God, Katharine,
it turns out
528
00:20:50,814 --> 00:20:53,991
-Brandon is married.
-Married. I know it, Mother.
529
00:20:54,035 --> 00:20:56,342
But not to worry, because
I found another prospect.
530
00:20:56,385 --> 00:20:58,169
I am never going out
with someone
531
00:20:58,213 --> 00:20:59,823
you set me up with again.
532
00:20:59,867 --> 00:21:01,260
He drives a Zamboni.
533
00:21:01,303 --> 00:21:03,262
I am fascinated
by that skill set.
534
00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:06,874
-I know you are.
-Let me see a picture.
535
00:21:06,917 --> 00:21:09,224
♪
536
00:21:25,588 --> 00:21:28,330
Let me see that picture again.
537
00:21:28,374 --> 00:21:30,463
-So he is actually a Zamboni...
-He's got a mustache.
538
00:21:30,506 --> 00:21:32,029
-Is that a problem?
-How do you spell "Zamboni"?
539
00:21:32,073 --> 00:21:33,074
[overlapping chatter]
540
00:21:33,124 --> 00:21:37,674
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