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(MELLOW HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
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00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:39,369
HOAGIE: Someone once said, "We don ’1‘
stop playing because we grow old.
4
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,913
"We grow old because we stop playing. ”
5
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:46,956
When you’re a kid, you can't imagine
having any other group of friends.
6
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:49,041
You think you're gonna be
buddies forever.
7
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:52,215
Of course, for most people,
that just doesn’t happen.
8
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:57,133
But my friends and I,
we figured out a way around that.
9
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We just never stopped playing.
10
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:04,019
And I like to think that simple thing,
playing a game,
11
00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:07,644
is what made me the man I am today.
12
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:14,772
So the man you are today
wants to be a janitor.
13
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,398
-Yes.
-(S|GHS)
14
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:19,409
Look, Doctor Malloy,
I'm looking at your résumé.
15
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,532
It says you got a Ph.D.
in veterinary medicine
16
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,410
and that you actually
have a successful practice right now.
17
00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:28,669
Look, (SIGHS) there comes a time
in every man's life
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00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:30,454
where you just gotta take stock,
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00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:34,875
ask yourself what's really important,
what's on your bucket list.
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00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,385
So let me get this straight.
21
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:41,590
On your bucket list, you don't have,
like, skydiving or rock climbing,
22
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,050
or tap dancing, maybe?
23
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:44,351
Dancing with wolves,
24
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,803
I believe that has to be a thing.
25
00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:47,512
They wouldn't have made a movie
if it wasn't, you know?
26
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:51,192
All I know is that, for me,
what I really want
27
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:57,231
is to clean the urine off
of that man's toilet seat.
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00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:58,732
Talking about the boss.
29
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,485
Mr. Callahan.
30
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,154
Yeah, he's a great man.
This is a great company.
31
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:07,036
Anything I can do
to get closer to that guy, sign me up.
32
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:08,951
Okay, look, man.
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00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,665
Honestly, any other situation,
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00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:12,963
I would just tell you
to get the fuck out my office, okay?
35
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:16,713
But we do need the help,
so when can you start?
36
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:24,345
I've already begun.
37
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:25,596
What the fuck was that?
38
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,685
-Uh...
-I haven't even opened that yet.
39
00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:30,685
Uh, I'm sorry.
I was trying to be proactive.
40
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:33,145
Today. I can start today. Um...
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00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:35,769
Why don't I get you another Coke?
42
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,479
-You do that, we good.
-Okay. (CLAPS HANDS)
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00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,314
But don't throw away no more new stuff.
44
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,323
You will not be disappointed.
45
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:42,659
We don't have to shake hands, man.
46
00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:44,828
-Okay. I'll be right back.
-Sure.
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00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:47,997
White people.
48
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:52,919
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
49
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,339
All right, Bob. You're the CEO
of a Fortune 800 company.
50
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:59,884
You have commanded the respect
of coworkers and vendors alike,
51
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,883
and that is why you're being interviewed
by the big boys.
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00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,341
The Wall Street Journal.
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00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,683
-Miss Crosby.
-Oh. Hi.
54
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,597
-Hi. Bob Callahan.
-Rebecca.
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00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:13,978
BOB: Thank you so much
for taking the time.
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00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,232
REBECCA: Oh, thank you.
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00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,982
Should we just get right into it?
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00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,563
-Yeah, let'sjump right in.
-BOB: All right.
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00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,115
Well, here's what I would love for your
readers to know about our company.
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00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,404
We are young.
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00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,736
We are dynamic. We are fun.
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00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,659
Uh, so let's talk about diabetes.
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00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:31,457
(LAUGHS WEAKLY) Mr. Callahan,
how do you respond to the idea
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00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,831
that your industry
uses captive insurance
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00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,332
to move risk off balance sheets?
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00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:39,921
Well, great question. Tough, but fair.
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00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:45,381
Um, I guess lwould say that
what I love about Freedom Atlantic
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00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,636
is that we're not like
other insurance companies.
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00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:51,937
-(THUDS)
-Uh, we're big, but small.
70
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,221
-Uh... Small.
-(BANGING)
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00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:56,020
-We are, um...
-(OBJECTS RATTLING)
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00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,350
You know, we're complex...
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00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:59,152
(LOUD BANGING)
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00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,695
...and yet, also simple.
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00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:04,658
(STAMMERING)
And we are global...
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00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,827
(CLATTERING CONTINUES)
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00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,157
Yet local.
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00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,533
That's exactly right.
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00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:10,613
Sorry, one second.
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00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:13,200
Uh, hey, could you maybe come back
at another time?
81
00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:14,831
We're just right in the middle
of something. Sir?
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00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:18,334
I'm afraid not, Bob.
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00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,165
Jesus Christ, Hoagie!
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00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,500
-What are you doing here?
-(LAUGHING)
85
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,584
How did you get past security?
86
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,294
I didn't. I work here.
87
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:28,807
You got a job at my company,
so you could try to tag me?
88
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,384
Come on. Bob, it's over.
89
00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:32,640
You don't think I can escape
from my own conference room?
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00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:33,845
Where are you gonna go?
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00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,522
Well, guess what? Watch now
'cause this is happening. (GRUNTS)
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00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:37,932
(G ROANS)
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00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:40,815
-BOB: God dang it!
-Okay.
94
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,150
-BOB: Oh... Ouch.
-You okay?
95
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:44,610
God. Okay.
96
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:45,774
You're right.
97
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,192
It's over. (SIGHS)
98
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,322
(BOB GROANS)
99
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:51,579
-Well, you're it.
-Yeah, I know. All right.
100
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:53,372
It's good to see you.
Good to see you, pal.
101
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:54,700
-Good to see you.
-Have you lost weight?
102
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,628
Yeah, a little bit.
Hey, listen, this is serious. Um...
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00:04:58,465 --> 00:04:59,454
Jerry's quitting.
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00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:00,584
What? Bullshit.
105
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,966
I swear to God.
End of this season, he's retiring.
106
00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:07,547
Well, okay. But, uh, lam in the middle
of an interview. So can |--
107
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,973
-Wall Street Journal, that's so cool!
-Oh, thank you.
108
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,300
No, thank you, by the way,
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00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:12,725
'cause this was the distraction
Ineeded.
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00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,303
-You get Bob talking about himself...
-(SIGHING)
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00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,183
It is just a feedback loop. Non-stop.
112
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:17,855
-Can we talk about this outside, please?
-Yeah.
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Can we talk about this outside?
I'll be right back. I promise.
114
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:21,976
There's three days left in May.
115
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,984
That gives us 63 hours
to round up the guys and get him.
116
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,066
Great. We can talk about this
over dinner.
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00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,491
What? No, no, no. We have to go now!
118
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,653
Don't you have bathrooms to clean
or something?
119
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,070
Technically, yes, I do.
120
00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:33,238
All right, well, you know what?
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00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,664
-Take this ridiculous thing off...
-Ow.
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00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,624
...and get to it.
We'll talk about this later.
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(STAMMERS) l'll resign, Bob.
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00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:40,374
You don't have to. You're fired.
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Oh, good. 'Cause the benefits here suck!
126
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,464
No, they don't.
127
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,751
That's true. Benefits are really good.
128
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:50,972
Oh, hey, sorry about that.
Uh, where were we?
129
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,924
-Uh, diabetes. Yes.
-Explain.
130
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:55,726
Well, uh... I'm not a doctor,
but there are two types.
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00:05:56,231 --> 00:06:01,271
Type one is called "Type One".
And Type Two is more of an adult onset.
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00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,897
No. (STAMMERS) Him.
133
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,445
-What are you doing?
-Hoagie, what do you want?
134
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,739
You tagged me. I'm it, okay?
135
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,817
You're sitting there
like I didn'tjust tell you
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00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,321
we gotta deal with this right now.
137
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:14,571
Because we got a real shot
at Jerry this year.
138
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:15,781
You say that every year.
139
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,992
-Yeah, but this year's different.
-You say that every year.
140
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,372
-But this year's really different.
-You said that last year.
141
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:21,748
I know, you're right.
142
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,588
But this year's actually different
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00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:28,551
because we know exactly
where he's going to be and when.
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00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:33,844
"The wedding celebration
of Susan and Jerry.
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00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:35,095
"Saturday, May 31st."
146
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,389
He's a sitting duck!
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00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:41,063
We gotta join forces. We get Jerry now,
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00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,182
or we die.
149
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:46,353
-What?
-Eventually. You know what I mean.
150
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,488
Come on, Bob.
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00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:50,691
(SIGHS)
152
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,571
You gonna grow old,
or you gonna keep playing?
153
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,074
(EXHALES) Keep playing.
154
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:03,712
That is the right answer.
Nice to meet you.
155
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:04,871
-REBECCA: Uh...
-l'm sorry. I have to go.
156
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:05,955
No. Uh...
157
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:08,124
Hold on. Hold on.
158
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:09,925
I can't believe he's getting married,
and he didn't even tell us.
159
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:12,299
I know. I was mad at first, too,
and then hurt.
160
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:14,927
But, you know, he just realized
he'd be a sitting target.
161
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,591
That's insane, even for him.
162
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:19,052
Will one of you please tell me
what's going on here?
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00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,428
Are we off the record?
164
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,146
No, definitely not.
165
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:23,222
Awesome. Okay.
166
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:25,900
Our group of friends has been playing
the same game of tag for 30 years.
167
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,272
What?
168
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:30,697
For the entire month of May,
every year, we play tag.
169
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:31,773
Just like when we were kids.
170
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,779
But we're not on a playground,
and we all live in different cities.
171
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,156
So you don't ever know
when someone's gonna pop up.
172
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,487
You could be shopping at the mall,
173
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,072
and then your buddy
jumps out of the trunk
174
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:40,953
and, boom, tags you. You're it.
175
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,116
Here's the craziest part.
176
00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:44,703
Our buddy, Jerry, never been tagged.
177
00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:48,336
What do you mean he's never been tagged?
You never put your hand on his body?
178
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,633
Not during the month of May.
For like, 30 years.
179
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,712
Why don't you just go over to his house
and tag him?
180
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,760
-HOAG|E: It's not that easy.
-Why not?
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00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,431
Because... (SIGHS)
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00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:02,979
Well, for starters,
because he’s so freaking fast.
183
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:05,648
You just can’t catch him.
184
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,568
BOB: Yeah,
and if you do manage to catch him,
185
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:12,489
then he goes feral and turns into
some kind of crazy wild animal.
186
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,066
(ROARS)
187
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:19,446
HOAGIE: And ifyou manage
to trap the wild animal,
188
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,782
he still finds a way.
189
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:24,834
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
190
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:25,910
REBECCA: What just happened there?
191
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,288
To this day, l have no idea. No idea.
192
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:32,421
He's the best that ever played. Yeah.
193
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:35,007
And now, he wants to retire
with a perfect record,
194
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:39,182
make us all look like fools. Fools!
195
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,138
He gets very excited.
196
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:43,428
There he is.
197
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,021
Wait. You're not leaving.
198
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,349
-Look, Ms. Crosby, I apologize.
-(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
199
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,313
Uh, lwill have someone from my office
reach out to you.
200
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,144
We will reschedule this
as soon as I'm back in town.
201
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,566
Uh,nope.
202
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,152
-Nope?
-No. Change of plan.
203
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:56,323
I'm coming with you.
204
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:57,947
This is a story.
205
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,027
What? No.
206
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,622
I don't think that's gonna be her angle.
207
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,245
I don't know what my angle is,
208
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:07,077
but I do find it very interesting
that we live in a world
209
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,003
where grown men take an entire month
210
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,546
out of every year
to play a child's game.
211
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,754
It's very interesting.
You're right. Let's go.
212
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,339
I don't think she means interesting
in a good way.
213
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,137
-HOAG|E: Get in, Bob.
-Finel Fuck it, I'm going.
214
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,467
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
215
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:31,066
(BONG BUBBLING)
216
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,487
(COUGHING)
217
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:43,738
All right, it's all ready for you, Dad.
218
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,914
Hey! Thank you. Thank you.
219
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:53,252
I'll be honest with you.
Ever since my wife died,
220
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,050
you've really been the rock
holding me down.
221
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:02,844
So thank you.
222
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,434
Well, I appreciate that.
I really do.
223
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,183
But your wife is not dead.
224
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,140
Well, she's dead to me. (CHUCKLES)
225
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:12,476
What?
226
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,356
-(BOTH LAUGHING)
-Yeah.
227
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,563
-That's right.
-That's right.
228
00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,273
Listen to me.
229
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:22,527
"To live in the past is
to die in the present."
230
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:23,736
Now, who said that?
231
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:26,364
-You did.
-Bill Belichick said that!
232
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,040
God love him. Yes, sir.
233
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,584
All right, I'm gonna get us more weed.
234
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:30,660
God bless you, son.
235
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,211
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
236
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:33,708
Damn, that was fast!
237
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:40,670
-Hey!
-Hey, Anna.
238
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,881
-Hey, Chilli. How are you?
-Good, nice to see you.
239
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,091
What are you doing here?
240
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,642
lwas... lwas walking by
241
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:50,643
and thought I'd pop in
and say hi to you and Roger.
242
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,223
Yeah, we're doing great. Where's Hoagie?
243
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,602
Oh, um... He's, um...
You know... (SIGHS)
244
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:59,110
-Oh, shit!
-Hogan's in, uh, the library.
245
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:02,070
Is it... Dad, what month is it?
246
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,114
May.
247
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:07,071
Mmm-mmm. You're not getting by me.
248
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,368
(YELLING)
249
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:11,409
Anna, are you okay?
250
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,411
He's loose! He's loose!
251
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,495
Fuck it.
252
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:15,580
Hogan, honey, he's coming.
253
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:20,210
He's heading down the east stairwell.
254
00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:24,514
(YELLS)
255
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,802
-Hey.Hogan!
-Hey,ChHm
256
00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:30,888
I haven't seen you in a while, man.
How's everything?
257
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,722
-Pretty good. Yeah, what about you?
-Good, yeah.
258
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,353
Everything's good, man. Yeah, work.
I mean, I'm going through that divorce.
259
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,309
-You sure?
-But, everything's fine. It's fine.
260
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:39,274
Hey, also, side note.
Stop bringing your wife into this, man.
261
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,651
That's bullshit.
She's way too intense for the game.
262
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,529
You're justjealous
'cause she's such a badass.
263
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:46,027
She's my secret weapon.
Kind of worked 'cause you're trapped.
264
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,537
-Am I trapped?
-Yeah.
265
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,243
lam? (YELLS)
266
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,870
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
267
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,040
Damn you, Chilli!
268
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:53,743
(YELLING)
269
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:01,797
Jesus, Chilli!
270
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,173
That's trash!
271
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,303
(WHIMPERING)
272
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:17,400
(GRUNTING) Fuck me!
273
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:19,478
Oh, hey, Martin!
274
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,026
Oh. Hi. Sorry.
275
00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:26,025
(GRUNTS)
276
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,114
(GROANING)
277
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,080
CHILLI: Excuse me, Mrs. Martin.
Coming through.
278
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,006
-(GASPS)
-Sorry, sorry, sorry.
279
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,001
HOAGIE: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
280
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:47,385
Oh, my God! I'm so sorry.
80 sorry. Wow. Okay.
281
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,885
-Get him, Andy!
-(YELLING)
282
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:56,688
-Good, Andy, good!
-(HOAGIE GRUNTING)
283
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,192
HOAGIE: Ho, ho, ho, ho.
284
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,195
Chilli, Chilli, Chilli...
285
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:11,154
Chilli! No, no, no!
286
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:12,659
(CHILLI SCREAMING)
287
00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:17,660
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
288
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:21,964
(COUGHING)
289
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,169
Oh, fuck!
290
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,053
-You okay, buddy?
-(CONT|NUES COUGHING)
291
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,303
Oh, just great. Great.
292
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:34,681
You ain't getting me today, man.
I'm not losing.
293
00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:35,887
There's only one problem, Chilli.
294
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,973
Oh, yeah? What's that? (GROANS)
295
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:39,808
I'm not it.
296
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,317
(SIGHS) The fuck you mean,
you're not it?
297
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:43,568
BOB: I am, motherfucker!
298
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:44,816
(BOTH GRUNT)
299
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:45,896
Oh!
300
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,323
-(BOB LAUGHING)
-(CH|LLI GROANING)
301
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:50,026
-lt! Come on. Get up.
-Goddamn!
302
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,284
-You all right?
-Yeah, I'm fine.
303
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:52,908
You took a pretty big hit there. My God.
304
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,284
Yeah, I thought I got away.
305
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:57,163
-Set him up. Knock him down.
-Oh, my God!
306
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,242
-Good idea.
-All right, fair and square.
307
00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,327
-l'm it, right?
-Yes.
308
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:00,457
And now you're it.
309
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:02,834
-Whoa. Nope.
-Yeah.
310
00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:04,381
Nope. I'm not taking it.
311
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:05,629
No, I'm not. No!
312
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,088
-No.
-We're not... No!
313
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,298
Guys, we're too old for...
314
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,013
No, don't start hitting. God.
315
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,513
No, no, you're it.
I don't know who is it.
316
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:17,474
-You're it. You're it.
-Guys, guys!
317
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,726
-This is ridiculous.
-Son of a bitch! You sack punched me!
318
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,478
-Well, you punched me!
-You sack punched him?
319
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:22,937
Yeah, you went crazy, and now you're it.
320
00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,101
-Sorry.
-Okay, I'm it.
321
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,687
ALL: Truce, truce, truce.
322
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:26,771
Deal.
323
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,322
This isn't about us anyway.
324
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,651
This is the year we get Jerry.
325
00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:33,361
-Oh, we're not gonna get Jerry.
-HOAGIE: He said the same thing.
326
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:35,868
No, no. I said the same thing.
We got a plan, all right?
327
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,164
(HORN HONKS)
328
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:39,909
Guys! Guys, let's go.
329
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:42,454
She's so intense, man.
She takes it too far.
330
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,789
You know what? If it wasn't for me,
you guys would be day drunk,
331
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,249
playing mini-golf with 12-year-olds.
332
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:49,006
Let's go. I know where Sable is.
Get in the car, ladies.
333
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:50,712
Yeah, we're going right to the airport,
so grab a bag, grab a...
334
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,923
-A toothbrush or whatever.
-l'm good. Let's go.
335
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,261
-Real|y?
-Wow!
336
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:55,467
-That's gross.
-Well, he's gung-ho. That's good.
337
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,222
Hey, Rebecca,
we're gonna go get Sable now.
338
00:14:57,772 --> 00:14:58,807
Who is Sable?
339
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,646
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
340
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,442
SABLE: I know you think
she's not cheating on me.
341
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:07,069
But what about the possibility
342
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,447
of her knowing that I'm following her
to Pilates class,
343
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,570
and on the days
when it's not Pilates class,
344
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:15,028
that's when she has all the free time
to ride random dick.
345
00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:18,622
Okay, riding dicks.
346
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,918
Kevin, you're really focused
on other dicks.
347
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,545
But what about yours? What about you?
348
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,042
If you don't focus on the other dicks,
349
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,750
those dicks will plug up
the places you wanna go.
350
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:33,339
What about mentally
going into each of those holes
351
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:38,385
and unplugging every one of those dicks.
Pulling out, pulling out, pulling out.
352
00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:41,475
And then you have a clear mind.
Dickless.
353
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:44,812
Well, I'm paranoid
that my original paranoia
354
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,358
might turn on my paranoia.
355
00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:49,020
It sounds like there are
some fundamental trust issues.
356
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:50,779
You can't trust anybody.
357
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,277
I don't think anyone's out to get you.
358
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,983
I don't think anyone is following you.
359
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:55,158
BOB: Ow! Stop!
360
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:56,235
CHILLI: I can't take it anymore.
361
00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:58,867
I can't take it. I can't listen to this.
362
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,030
Are you shushing me?
363
00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:02,867
(PSYCHOLOGIST GASPS)
364
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,453
What the fuck?
365
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,339
-Oh, wow!
-How are you?
366
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,382
-Doctor!
-You're there.
367
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:12,384
Hi, Hogan. Nice to meet you.
368
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,678
Bob Callahan. How do you do?
369
00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:15,220
-Sorry, this is a terrible idea.
-Who are you?
370
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,673
BOB: We're friends of Sable's.
371
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:17,802
(LAUGHING)
372
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,634
We thought it'd be really funny
to hide in there,
373
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,640
but then we overheard way too much.
374
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:24,313
Yeah, buddy, you're clearly
going through a lot of shit.
375
00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:25,807
All right, get here, man.
376
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:28,393
And, um, also, you're it, so...
377
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:31,062
I don't care. I miss you.
How are you, buddy? Good to see you.
378
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,613
-l'm good.
-Yup.
379
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,065
-Now you're it.
-BOB: I know. I know. I'm it.
380
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,617
Anwvay, yeah, we came to get you,
so come on.
381
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:37,944
-Sable. Come on.
-Come on.
382
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:40,905
I got 40 minutes left in the session.
383
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,286
-So what? This is important.
-Yeah.
384
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,418
Pack your bags. We're going home.
385
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,623
I don't have my bags here.
386
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:50,998
BOB: Yeah, we know.
HOAGIE: Obviously.
387
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,082
-For fuck's sake.
-I know that. lt'sjust--
388
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,509
We will go by your house
and get your stuff.
389
00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:55,006
You should'vejust went to my house
in the first place
390
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,086
ifwe were gonna go to my house anyway.
391
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,138
-This seemed like a better idea.
-BOB: It was a whole bit! Let's go.
392
00:16:58,226 --> 00:16:59,557
Yeah, come on, we'll figure it out.
393
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,100
Okay, you'll still owe me for this hour.
394
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,176
HOAGIE: Thanks, Doctor.
395
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:04,262
You guys aren't taking
my mental health seriously.
396
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,476
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
397
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,663
Look at those little assholes.
398
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:33,294
-(LAUGH|NG) Calm down.
-lt's awful to be back.
399
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,592
It's gonna be fun.
400
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,987
(SNIFFING) Ah! It still smells the same.
401
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,530
BOB: Uh... Here we go.
402
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,159
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
403
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,994
All right!
404
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:19,254
(GROANS)
—om
405
00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:22,719
(GRUNTS)
406
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:24,634
CHILLI: Okay, yeah.
407
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,143
Oh, yeah, it's still there.
408
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,394
Guys, we're back in the war room.
409
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:33,726
You know what that means.
410
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,231
No, I don't know what that means.
411
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,322
It means we're going to war, Sable.
Now, just to be clear,
412
00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:41,822
we're not gonna tag Jerry
at the actual wedding ceremony
413
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:44,494
because, frankly,
that would make us giant assholes.
414
00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:45,992
I'm sorry. I thought that was
the whole point of this.
415
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:48,950
I took two weeks unpaid vacation
for that exact reason.
416
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:50,581
-Two weeks?
-Yeah.
417
00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:52,291
I'm going zip-lining after this.
418
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,582
Okay. There's gonna be plenty of time
to get him before the ceremony.
419
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:56,961
There's a rehearsal dinner.
420
00:18:57,053 --> 00:19:00,921
There's a luncheon, photo shoot.
Just don't worry. We're gonna get him.
421
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,381
Very official plan. Who wants to smoke
some weed with me? Sable!
422
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:04,591
I'll take a toke.
423
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:06,384
What?
424
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:11,064
Yeah, I've been, uh, you know,
experimenting with pot recently.
425
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:13,023
Mostly medicinal, but hey.
426
00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:17,187
I've wanted to get high with you
my entire life, Hogan.
427
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:18,316
(LAUGHS)
428
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:19,487
-Honestly.
-Let's do it.
429
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:21,361
-This is the best gift of all time.
-Okay.
430
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,736
This is exactly how I imagined it,
by the way.
431
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,330
-(L|NDA SIGHS)
-(COUGHING)
432
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:29,907
(WHISPERS) Hoagie's morn.
433
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:33,578
I've got pizza rolls
for my pizza roll boys.
434
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,504
Ooh. Pizza rolls.
435
00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:38,500
(SNIFFING)
436
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:40,550
Is that marijuana I smell?
437
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:41,673
(HOAGIE SNORTS)
438
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,430
No. What?
439
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:48,638
It's my pot. I'm really sorry.
I was smoking pot. It's an old habit.
440
00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:51,475
Oh, so it's your weedie.
441
00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:53,305
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
442
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,187
I think I'm getting a contact high.
443
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,350
-Okay.
-(SNIFFS)
444
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:59,066
Hits me deep. Below the belt, you know.
445
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,946
I've got a belt upstairs.
446
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:03,028
I use it on naughty little boys.
447
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:04,950
(BOTH LAUGHING)
448
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:07,157
What the fuck is going on?
449
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,033
I hope you don't hurt those boys.
450
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,540
-I don't mean to.
-(BOTH CHUCKLING)
451
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,372
It was really nice speaking with you.
Thank you for the pizza rolls.
452
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:18,540
Mom, stop flirting with Chilli.
453
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:21,585
Linda, have you seen Jerry lately?
454
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,343
I mean, do you still play tennis
with his mom?
455
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:24,879
Because we need to find him
before the wedding,
456
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,054
and we've got no clues.
457
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,011
I don't even talk to her.
I never see her at the club.
458
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:31,643
But I'm thrilled for Jerry.
Susan is such a nice girl.
459
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,813
-We just need the information.
-Yeah, we need to find him. Yeah.
460
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:36,099
Have you taken the guys
over to the Sandpiper?
461
00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:40,441
Lou does nothing but talk about you
and the old days and Jerry.
462
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:42,855
You know, I think he's lonely.
463
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,445
Okay, that's not helpful. But it...
464
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:46,608
Oh, my God!
465
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:48,277
Lou knows everything
going on in this town.
466
00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,321
Guys, we're going to the Sandpiper.
467
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:53,374
I don't wanna go to the Sandpiper.
I'm having a great time here.
468
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,626
I miss this basement.
We don't have any more beer.
469
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:57,081
Let's go to the Sandpiper.
470
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:04,627
(INDIE ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
471
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:10,633
Lou!
472
00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:13,723
Gentlemen! And ladies.
473
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:17,311
How are you guys?
Hey, we have new summer stouts on draft.
474
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:19,897
Lou, we don't give a shit about summer
stouts. We're just looking for Jerry.
475
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:22,603
Ooh, I hate to be the bearer
of bad tidings, Anna,
476
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,272
but you are technically
still banned from here.
477
00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:26,569
HOAGIE: What? Still?
ANNA: What?
478
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:28,025
It was dollar margarita night, Lou.
479
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,360
Hey, I don't make the rules.
480
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:30,653
Fuck you, Lou.
481
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:34,373
You know something about Jerry.
I can see it in your eyes, you rat fuck.
482
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,788
I don't know where Jerry is.
483
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:38,168
Fuck you. Tell us.
484
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:42,207
-(STAMMERS)
-l'm sorry, Lou. I'm so sorry.
485
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,292
(EXHALES) How are you? How's your mom?
486
00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:45,710
-Fantastic.
-AN NA: Oh, that's good.
487
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:47,045
-Fit as a fiddle.
-Tell her I said hi.
488
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,128
LOU: lwill, for sure.
She'll love hearing that.
489
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:49,304
And fuck you.
I don't wanna be in this bar anyway.
490
00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:50,756
-Okay, okay.
-We're gonna wait outside.
491
00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:53,642
Look forward to catching up with y'all.
(LAUGHS) Whoo!
492
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:56,436
Listen, I'll tell you everything
you need to know about Jerry
493
00:21:56,607 --> 00:22:00,896
if you tag me just one time.
It is all I ask. lwill spill.
494
00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:02,310
Why can't I tag you?
495
00:22:03,447 --> 00:22:05,984
Because I'm not officially in the game.
496
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:07,193
What's the good word, Lou?
497
00:22:07,368 --> 00:22:09,529
We don't stop playing
'cause we grow old.
498
00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:11,694
We grow old because we stop playing.
499
00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:13,328
You are not part of this game.
500
00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:14,488
-Benjamin Franklin.
-(CHILLI CHUCKLES)
501
00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:16,164
-Lou.
-Yeah?
502
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:17,324
Where's Jerry?
503
00:22:17,795 --> 00:22:19,080
I'm afraid I can't help you out
with that, boys.
504
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:20,870
-BOB: Really?
-Yeah, you see,
505
00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:22,663
Jerry and I struck a little deal.
506
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:25,834
I say nothing about his whereabouts,
and then I get to play tag next year.
507
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:27,592
-Jerry made that deal with you?
-LOU: Oh, yeah.
508
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,254
And I am unbreakable, boys.
509
00:22:30,432 --> 00:22:32,718
Cannot penetrate this Iron Curtain.
510
00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:35,259
The vault is closed.
511
00:22:35,646 --> 00:22:38,433
Well, Lou, that is a real shame because
I was gonna introduce you to Rebecca,
512
00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:42,065
who is writing an article about tag
for The Wall Street Journal.
513
00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:43,358
How cool is that?
514
00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:44,605
CHILLI: So cool.
BOB: Isn't that exciting?
515
00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:46,904
Is there any way
that Lou could be in your article?
516
00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:48,063
Oh, yeah.
517
00:22:48,242 --> 00:22:49,357
Right? It's an interesting angle, right?
518
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:51,901
Probably has to be a story
for that to happen, right?
519
00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:53,907
What do you mean,
there has to be a story?
520
00:22:54,957 --> 00:22:56,493
Well, I mean, no Jerry, no story.
521
00:22:56,667 --> 00:22:58,032
You need Jerry for the story?
522
00:22:58,210 --> 00:22:59,916
Could you imagine that thing
printed out here, framed?
523
00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:01,710
-Hanging on the wall? With this guy?
-CHILLI: Yeah.
524
00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:03,003
Which will get published everywhere.
Everyone will see.
525
00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:04,834
-National|y.
-Don't you wanna be in the article?
526
00:23:05,009 --> 00:23:06,965
Yeah, dude.
I would love to be in an article.
527
00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:08,838
Well, we're not gonna break
Fort Knox here.
528
00:23:09,013 --> 00:23:10,093
Fuck, man. All right.
529
00:23:10,264 --> 00:23:11,970
-l was really excited about that story.
-BOB: Good to see you, buddy.
530
00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:13,881
-Good luck, man.
-LOU: Look, look, look.
531
00:23:17,021 --> 00:23:18,261
My mom talked to his mom,
532
00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:21,681
and she said that the rehearsal
is at the Deer Creek Country Club.
533
00:23:21,859 --> 00:23:23,019
-Deer Creek.
-There it is.
534
00:23:23,193 --> 00:23:25,058
Anwvays, the name is Louis Seibert.
That's S-E-I-B...
535
00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,398
-Oh, I'll remember that. Thank you.
-She's got a great memory.
536
00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:29,067
Big Lou, thank you, buddy.
537
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:30,777
-Thank you.
-LOU: Yeah, you bet.
538
00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:34,576
ANNA: Oh, hello, Ms. Rollins?
539
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:36,863
This is Margaret from
the Deer Creek Country Club.
540
00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:39,703
I'm just calling to let you know
we won't be able to refund your deposit
541
00:23:39,877 --> 00:23:42,243
since you canceled the rehearsal
on such short notice.
542
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:44,582
SUSAN: What? Oh, my God.
JERRY: I think you have a mistake here.
543
00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:46,463
SUSAN: Uh, we didn’t cancel
the reception.
544
00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:50,923
I'm afraid we have unfortunately booked
something else in that time slot now.
545
00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:53,303
-(WHISPERS) A quinceafiera.
-A quinceafiera.
546
00:23:53,474 --> 00:23:55,385
SUSAN: A what?
JERRY: The fuck's a quinceahera?
547
00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:57,049
A celebration of womanhood.
548
00:23:57,227 --> 00:23:58,433
It's a celebration of womanhood.
549
00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:00,140
JERRY: This is bullshit.
SUSAN: Oh, my God!
550
00:24:00,314 --> 00:24:01,520
We 're coming to the club right now.
551
00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:03,143
(ALL LAUGHING)
552
00:24:08,822 --> 00:24:10,232
(TIRES SCREECHING)
553
00:24:34,515 --> 00:24:35,550
JERRY: Hello?
554
00:24:38,644 --> 00:24:40,054
Hello?
555
00:24:44,024 --> 00:24:45,013
Hello, boys.
556
00:24:46,860 --> 00:24:47,849
Who is it?
557
00:24:48,779 --> 00:24:49,768
lam.
558
00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,400
JERRY: Callahan approaches
from the left.
559
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,276
Engage no-contact protocol.
560
00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:00,988
No hand shall touch my body.
561
00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:06,622
(G ROANS)
562
00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:10,548
JERRY: Mental note. Bob slapped Hoagie
with his hand. Hoagie is now it.
563
00:25:10,718 --> 00:25:12,208
(SHOES SQUEAKING)
564
00:25:14,471 --> 00:25:15,460
Chilli.
565
00:25:16,432 --> 00:25:18,297
He dives at me in a pussy-like fashion.
566
00:25:19,268 --> 00:25:21,224
Poor planning. Poor execution.
567
00:25:22,312 --> 00:25:23,722
(GROANING)
568
00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:25,433
JERRY: Piece of cake.
569
00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:27,640
I head for the door to escape.
570
00:25:27,818 --> 00:25:29,058
Sable blocks it.
571
00:25:29,695 --> 00:25:31,231
It's showtime.
572
00:25:34,324 --> 00:25:37,191
Hoagie has tagged Sable.
He is now fair game.
573
00:25:39,329 --> 00:25:40,364
l speedbag him.
574
00:25:45,169 --> 00:25:46,579
(YELLING)
575
00:25:54,511 --> 00:25:55,591
(G ROANS)
576
00:25:55,679 --> 00:25:56,759
(LAUGHING)
577
00:25:56,847 --> 00:25:58,428
Jerry! You okay?
578
00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:01,969
Oh, I've never been better.
579
00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:04,761
Welcome home, boys!
580
00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:07,600
UERRYLAUGHS)
581
00:26:07,691 --> 00:26:08,976
Hey, who's this with you?
582
00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:11,984
Oh, this is Rebecca. She's a reporter.
583
00:26:13,238 --> 00:26:15,524
Did they, uh, mention that
I haven't been tagged in 30 years
584
00:26:15,699 --> 00:26:17,030
'cause they suck at this game?
585
00:26:17,117 --> 00:26:18,152
Extensively.
586
00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:19,653
Never been tagged. Just saying.
587
00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:20,863
BOB: I can't believe you would rather
588
00:26:20,954 --> 00:26:22,694
not invite your closest friends
to your wedding
589
00:26:22,873 --> 00:26:23,988
than risk getting tagged.
590
00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:27,374
Hey, Bob, look, you're here, ain't you?
Right? I knew you'd come.
591
00:26:27,461 --> 00:26:28,951
SUSAN: Cookie, the valet needs the keys.
592
00:26:29,129 --> 00:26:30,710
Hi, baby. Come here, honey. Come here.
593
00:26:30,881 --> 00:26:32,746
We didn't invite you.
594
00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:34,961
-Yeah. Sorry.
-Uh, guys.
595
00:26:35,135 --> 00:26:36,796
This is Susan, my soon-to-be-bride.
596
00:26:36,970 --> 00:26:38,551
-Hi. Nice to meet you, Susan.
-Hey.
597
00:26:38,722 --> 00:26:39,837
-Hi.
-She'|l explain why.
598
00:26:40,015 --> 00:26:43,098
lt'sjust... (SIGHS)
I know it sounds really crazy.
599
00:26:43,268 --> 00:26:46,431
It's just, everyone on my mother's side
have had May weddings,
600
00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:49,096
and I don't want
my wedding ruined over...
601
00:26:49,316 --> 00:26:52,524
I swear, I don't wanna be that woman,
602
00:26:52,778 --> 00:26:57,317
but I do feel like that woman is kind
of understandable in this situation.
603
00:26:57,407 --> 00:26:59,489
JERRY: Don't make excuses, baby.
You don't have to. Come on.
604
00:26:59,660 --> 00:27:01,571
Look, I already broke a fucking window.
What are we gonna do here, guys?
605
00:27:04,248 --> 00:27:05,784
-Amendment.
-Amendment.
606
00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:07,038
Amendment. All right. Get in here.
607
00:27:07,209 --> 00:27:08,745
Truce. Truce, bitches.
608
00:27:10,462 --> 00:27:13,169
No tag at the rehearsal.
No tag at the luncheon.
609
00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:16,798
No tag at the dinner. And do not
even mention tag at the ceremony.
610
00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:18,960
HOAGIE: Ceremony.
611
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:20,840
-We got it.
-Thank you.
612
00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:22,129
No way, I'm not signing this.
613
00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:23,763
You're officially re-not invited.
How's that?
614
00:27:23,934 --> 00:27:24,923
Okay, then fine.
615
00:27:25,102 --> 00:27:26,638
I'll crash your fucking wedding,
616
00:27:26,728 --> 00:27:28,218
and I'll tag you
as you try to kiss your bride.
617
00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:29,644
Hey, hey, hey.
618
00:27:29,815 --> 00:27:31,180
Look, Susan.
You seem like a lovely person,
619
00:27:31,358 --> 00:27:33,064
and I'm sure this will all be fine.
620
00:27:33,235 --> 00:27:36,727
We just need to formalize it, something
we've been doing a long time and, uh...
621
00:27:37,948 --> 00:27:39,609
-Sign it.
-(CHUCKLES)
622
00:27:41,285 --> 00:27:42,274
What the...
623
00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:44,614
"No mention of tag is..."
624
00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:46,528
-Ridiculous.
-lt's unreasonable.
625
00:27:46,707 --> 00:27:47,867
Thank you, guys.
626
00:27:47,958 --> 00:27:49,619
-(LAUGHING)
-BOB: Here.
627
00:27:50,836 --> 00:27:52,201
All right, boys.
628
00:27:55,340 --> 00:27:56,671
-All right.
-So good to see you, Bob.
629
00:27:56,842 --> 00:27:59,049
You know what? Don't touch me when
we're on a truce. It's very patronizing.
630
00:27:59,219 --> 00:28:00,880
Yeah, it's a little weird for me, too.
631
00:28:00,971 --> 00:28:03,462
Well, it was really nice
meeting everyone,
632
00:28:03,557 --> 00:28:07,300
and I look forward to getting to know
you guys better this weekend and just...
633
00:28:07,394 --> 00:28:10,306
I don't know. I've just dreamt
about this day my whole life, so...
634
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,220
-Congrats, Susan. We're happy for you.
-lt's gonna be great.
635
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:13,388
Thank you.
636
00:28:13,483 --> 00:28:14,472
It's really good to see you, boys.
637
00:28:14,776 --> 00:28:15,765
Cheers.
638
00:28:17,654 --> 00:28:18,643
Six tequilas, please.
639
00:28:22,618 --> 00:28:23,983
-To Jerry.
-Wait.
640
00:28:25,954 --> 00:28:27,034
Oh!
641
00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:29,738
So, boys, how did it go?
642
00:28:29,917 --> 00:28:30,997
-Not good.
-So bad.
643
00:28:31,168 --> 00:28:32,908
So, so bad.
644
00:28:33,003 --> 00:28:35,745
Did you guysjust sign away
your chance to tag him?
645
00:28:35,839 --> 00:28:40,503
Yeah, but we're still okay
because non-wedding times are fair game.
646
00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:41,962
We just gotta find the right window.
647
00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:43,419
-What happened?
-BOB: He kicked our ass.
648
00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:45,716
-Well, technically, he punched my ass.
-BOB: Punched your ass.
649
00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:46,922
-HOAGIE: Repeatedly.
-Hard.
650
00:28:47,017 --> 00:28:48,598
Well, according to the bylaws,
that is highly illegal.
651
00:28:48,769 --> 00:28:50,976
Except he didn't hit my asshole,
652
00:28:51,146 --> 00:28:52,431
-so it's legal.
-lt'S legal.
653
00:28:52,606 --> 00:28:54,187
Okay, what are you talking about?
654
00:28:54,524 --> 00:28:55,809
Here.
655
00:28:55,984 --> 00:28:57,190
Page”.
656
00:28:57,361 --> 00:28:59,022
Yes! Right there.
657
00:28:59,655 --> 00:29:00,940
No asshole punching.
658
00:29:01,114 --> 00:29:05,323
Why would you play a game where
you're constantly punched in the ass?
659
00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:07,734
Fair question, Rebecca.
660
00:29:07,913 --> 00:29:08,902
Beep. I'll take this.
661
00:29:09,039 --> 00:29:12,247
Tag is more than a game.
It's a way of life.
662
00:29:12,417 --> 00:29:13,497
No, buddy.
663
00:29:16,129 --> 00:29:18,245
Facial disgracial.
664
00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:19,754
HOAGIE: Okay, Lou, thank you.
665
00:29:19,925 --> 00:29:22,337
We'll take it from here.
Uh... (CHUCKLES)
666
00:29:22,511 --> 00:29:23,546
But he's exactly right.
667
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,005
It's so much more than a game.
668
00:29:25,180 --> 00:29:27,922
Say I'm LeVar Burton.
Say I'm LeVar Burton.
669
00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:30,091
HOAGIE: l was there
when Sable lost his virginity.
670
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,175
SABLE: God damn it, Hoagie!
l was almost finished!
671
00:29:32,354 --> 00:29:33,343
HOAGIE: Get over here!
672
00:29:33,438 --> 00:29:36,271
And Callahan was there
when Anna and I had our first child.
673
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:37,765
(ANNA BREATHING RAPIDLY)
674
00:29:37,859 --> 00:29:40,601
Congratulations, buddy.
You're it. Doing great, Anna.
675
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,566
HOAGIE: And all the guys were there
for me when my father died.
676
00:29:43,740 --> 00:29:47,449
I think your dad would have
really wanted you to be
677
00:29:47,619 --> 00:29:49,780
-it in this moment.
-(ALL LAUGHING)
678
00:29:52,207 --> 00:29:53,447
HOAGIE: This game,
679
00:29:53,542 --> 00:29:56,500
it’s given us a reason to be
in each other’s lives all these years.
680
00:29:56,670 --> 00:29:59,833
The last it from each season
will live in shame for one year.
681
00:30:00,007 --> 00:30:01,793
-So what happens if you lose?
-You lose.
682
00:30:01,883 --> 00:30:03,123
-You're it.
-What does the winner get?
683
00:30:03,302 --> 00:30:05,714
There are no winners. Just not losers.
684
00:30:05,887 --> 00:30:09,755
I would love to sit here and deconstruct
the spirit of competition with everyone,
685
00:30:09,933 --> 00:30:11,264
but Jerry's still on the loose,
686
00:30:11,435 --> 00:30:12,720
and we've got to get him where it hurts.
687
00:30:12,894 --> 00:30:14,885
-Not in the asshole.
-Not in the asshole. Obviously.
688
00:30:15,063 --> 00:30:16,724
Oh! Guys, let's go to his house.
689
00:30:16,898 --> 00:30:18,263
He wouldn't be at his house.
It's too obvious.
690
00:30:18,442 --> 00:30:21,354
Yeah, it's too obvious,
so he's gonna be there. This is Jerry.
691
00:30:21,528 --> 00:30:24,941
Maybe it's so obvious that
it's not obvious that he will be there.
692
00:30:25,115 --> 00:30:26,901
-So he's at the house.
-He's not gonna be there.
693
00:30:27,075 --> 00:30:30,408
If he's there, then it'll be obvious
for him to be there,
694
00:30:30,579 --> 00:30:31,659
so he wouldn't be there
695
00:30:31,830 --> 00:30:34,697
because he would think that we would
automatically come there, obviously.
696
00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:36,156
What?
697
00:30:36,251 --> 00:30:37,411
You know what? One way to find out.
698
00:30:37,586 --> 00:30:38,575
Let's go.
699
00:30:38,712 --> 00:30:39,747
-|t'l| be obvious to...
-(FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)
700
00:30:39,921 --> 00:30:41,161
CHILLI: Come on!
701
00:30:57,356 --> 00:30:58,471
(DOOR RATTLES)
702
00:30:58,565 --> 00:31:00,146
ltslocked.
703
00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:04,938
(GRUNTING)
704
00:31:06,907 --> 00:31:08,113
What do you see?
705
00:31:08,283 --> 00:31:09,272
It's nice.
706
00:31:09,451 --> 00:31:12,534
There's lot of attention to detail,
but not too overdone.
707
00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:15,366
Well, can you just unlock it?
708
00:31:17,626 --> 00:31:18,832
REBECCA: This is breaking and entering.
709
00:31:19,002 --> 00:31:21,084
No, it doesn't count
if you know the person.
710
00:31:22,756 --> 00:31:24,212
That is not true.
711
00:31:25,092 --> 00:31:27,959
"Did you guys really think
I would be home?"
712
00:31:30,055 --> 00:31:31,044
Feels like a trap.
713
00:31:31,223 --> 00:31:32,679
All right, let's split up.
We'll cover more ground.
714
00:31:32,849 --> 00:31:33,838
No, that's a terrible idea.
715
00:31:34,017 --> 00:31:35,507
SABLE: He'll never expect it.
716
00:31:35,685 --> 00:31:37,516
Now help me out of the door, please.
717
00:31:40,816 --> 00:31:42,932
Jerry!
718
00:31:43,944 --> 00:31:45,809
(WHISPERS) He's gotta be here.
719
00:31:45,904 --> 00:31:46,939
(BEEPS)
720
00:31:48,073 --> 00:31:50,564
-Have you ever even been here before?
-(SHUSHING)
721
00:31:56,873 --> 00:31:57,908
Ooh.
722
00:31:58,667 --> 00:31:59,747
Deviled eggs.
723
00:32:01,128 --> 00:32:03,084
Delicious. These go fast.
724
00:32:10,971 --> 00:32:12,086
SABLE: What the fuck?
725
00:32:12,722 --> 00:32:13,802
Oh, man.
726
00:32:15,308 --> 00:32:17,139
Whoa.
727
00:32:17,227 --> 00:32:18,967
Jerry got chloroform?
728
00:32:19,146 --> 00:32:22,980
What the fuck? He has stepped it up.
729
00:32:23,150 --> 00:32:26,984
Aerial maps of the city.
Bunch of blueprints.
730
00:32:27,154 --> 00:32:29,770
Five different hats? Wow.
731
00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:32,568
People change.
732
00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:38,111
(BEEPS)
733
00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:41,698
Did you...
734
00:32:42,502 --> 00:32:43,491
I didn't do anything.
735
00:32:47,048 --> 00:32:48,663
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
736
00:32:53,221 --> 00:32:56,759
Who is that scampering around my house?
737
00:32:56,933 --> 00:32:59,970
Hello, boys, did you really think
I'd go home?
738
00:33:00,145 --> 00:33:01,430
-You idiots.
-I knew it.
739
00:33:01,605 --> 00:33:03,687
-It's too obvious.
-Yep.
740
00:33:03,857 --> 00:33:05,347
I mean, that's just a lucky guess.
741
00:33:05,525 --> 00:33:06,514
Okay, Jerry, where are you?
742
00:33:06,693 --> 00:33:07,728
You know, seeing you guys tonight
743
00:33:07,903 --> 00:33:09,939
made me wanna take a walk down
memory lane.
744
00:33:10,489 --> 00:33:11,478
Ta-da!
745
00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:12,987
-|s that your...
-That's my bedroom.
746
00:33:13,158 --> 00:33:14,819
You're at my parents' house.
Why are you at my parents' house?
747
00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:16,324
It's a little smaller than I remember.
748
00:33:16,495 --> 00:33:17,985
You broke into my house!
749
00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:19,448
We broke into his house.
750
00:33:19,623 --> 00:33:21,238
Yeah, we broke into your house.
751
00:33:21,416 --> 00:33:22,952
JERRY: Hey, hey! Look who I found, Hoag.
752
00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:25,158
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Hoagie, I miss you so much!
753
00:33:25,337 --> 00:33:26,702
What are you doing with Mr. Stubbles?
754
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:28,040
(IN NORMAL VOICE) This little guy
got you through
755
00:33:28,131 --> 00:33:29,371
a lot of troubles in life, didn’t he?
756
00:33:29,549 --> 00:33:30,914
All right, Jerry.
757
00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:32,419
(JERRY LAUGHING)
758
00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:34,584
Let's see where this one goes.
759
00:33:34,763 --> 00:33:37,129
Mr. Stubbles has something to say.
What was that?
760
00:33:37,307 --> 00:33:40,140
He says that his skin '3 very dry.
It needs to be moisturized.
761
00:33:40,310 --> 00:33:42,972
Jerry, put down Mr. Stubbles.
So help me God.
762
00:33:44,689 --> 00:33:45,895
What's happening here?
763
00:33:46,066 --> 00:33:48,478
I think he's about to masturbate
in Hoagie's childhood bedroom.
764
00:33:48,652 --> 00:33:50,313
Oh, no.
765
00:33:50,487 --> 00:33:52,398
It's the ultimate act of dominance.
766
00:33:52,572 --> 00:33:54,153
I 'm gonna stay here until you come.
767
00:33:55,242 --> 00:33:56,903
Unless I come first.
768
00:33:58,370 --> 00:33:59,359
You sly dog.
769
00:34:02,541 --> 00:34:03,997
-HOAGIE: Go! Go! Go!
-Did you get him?
770
00:34:04,167 --> 00:34:05,907
HOAGIE: Start the car!
ANNA: I started it. I started it.
771
00:34:06,086 --> 00:34:07,246
Everybody put their seat belts on.
772
00:34:07,420 --> 00:34:08,751
HOAGIE: Go! Go! Go!
773
00:34:08,922 --> 00:34:10,412
-Everybody in.
-ANNA: Hold on.
774
00:34:10,590 --> 00:34:12,421
-|s everybody in?
-(TIRES SCREECHING)
775
00:34:16,137 --> 00:34:18,753
JERRY: This is gonna be nice and smooth,
Mr. Stubbies.
776
00:34:18,932 --> 00:34:20,718
This isn't gonna hurt whatsoever.
777
00:34:20,892 --> 00:34:23,429
Stay put. We're coming for you.
We're coming for you.
778
00:34:23,603 --> 00:34:26,811
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Yeah, but hurry up! Daddy, hurry up!
779
00:34:26,982 --> 00:34:28,722
Mr. Stubbles is not into you.
He can't be into you.
780
00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:31,061
He's not a sexual being, okay?
So put him down!
781
00:34:31,152 --> 00:34:32,983
(JERRY LAUGHING)
782
00:34:37,993 --> 00:34:39,483
Hey, team.
783
00:34:44,833 --> 00:34:45,993
(LAUGHING)
784
00:34:46,084 --> 00:34:49,247
Jerry, how are you in my room right now?
785
00:34:49,379 --> 00:34:50,664
We're all in my room.
786
00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:54,339
No, of course I’m not there. I’m here.
In my basement.
787
00:34:54,676 --> 00:34:55,665
Where are you guys?
788
00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:58,005
HOAGIE: Are you fucking kidding me?
789
00:34:58,179 --> 00:35:01,137
CHILLI: He built a replica
of your bedroom in his basement?
790
00:35:01,308 --> 00:35:02,639
Good night, gentlemen.
791
00:35:06,187 --> 00:35:07,176
(SIGHS)
792
00:35:07,272 --> 00:35:09,103
(TV PLAYING)
793
00:35:11,401 --> 00:35:13,813
Ah, amateurs.
794
00:35:15,238 --> 00:35:16,273
REBECCA: Let's begin. Um...
795
00:35:16,781 --> 00:35:19,022
So kind of a rough start.
796
00:35:19,159 --> 00:35:22,117
That was pretty standard, actually.
Yeah, Jerry's extreme.
797
00:35:22,287 --> 00:35:25,074
The masturbation was fake,
but the pleasure was real.
798
00:35:25,248 --> 00:35:27,864
I mean, I've said it before,
but we're not gonna tag him because,
799
00:35:28,418 --> 00:35:30,750
you know, he's better at tag
than us. (CHUCKLES)
800
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:32,831
I'm obviously going to be the one
that tags Jerry.
801
00:35:33,006 --> 00:35:36,248
I've been working
with this Japanese guy. Sensei.
802
00:35:36,426 --> 00:35:38,917
He knows zero karate.
803
00:35:39,095 --> 00:35:41,802
Oh, he doesn't know karate.
He's claiming to know karate?
804
00:35:43,767 --> 00:35:45,382
He doesn't know karate.
I don't think he knows karate.
805
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,597
Well, then what does he call it when
l roundhouse kicked him in 10th grade?
806
00:35:48,772 --> 00:35:51,058
Callahan and Chilli did get in a
huge fight sophomore year of high school
807
00:35:51,232 --> 00:35:56,101
and Callahan did just tag Chilli
with a beautiful roundhouse kick.
808
00:35:56,279 --> 00:35:59,817
But in Chilli's defense, when Callahan
kicked him... (CLEARS THROAT)
809
00:35:59,991 --> 00:36:01,231
He shit in his pants!
810
00:36:01,409 --> 00:36:03,149
Yeah, okay, that never happened.
811
00:36:03,328 --> 00:36:06,411
And it's nice to actually get
an opportunity to address it directly.
812
00:36:06,581 --> 00:36:07,741
By all means. I'm all ears.
813
00:36:07,916 --> 00:36:11,249
I mean, I was very sweaty.
It was warm out.
814
00:36:11,461 --> 00:36:15,500
The sweaty ass defense?
He's been banging that drum for years.
815
00:36:15,674 --> 00:36:17,585
Hottest October on record, if I recall.
Look it up.
816
00:36:17,759 --> 00:36:19,169
Wall Street Journal,
you have fact checkers
817
00:36:19,260 --> 00:36:20,716
for this exact scenario, right?
818
00:36:20,804 --> 00:36:22,760
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
819
00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:24,803
While you're at it,
can you have the fact checkers look into
820
00:36:24,974 --> 00:36:27,886
if The Maury Povich Show is staged?
'Cause it feels staged,
821
00:36:28,061 --> 00:36:30,017
but he swears it's not staged.
822
00:36:30,188 --> 00:36:32,725
But they do the exact same thing
every time.
823
00:36:33,608 --> 00:36:34,939
What?
824
00:36:39,698 --> 00:36:41,188
-(BOTTLES CLATTERING)
-Ah!
825
00:36:47,539 --> 00:36:49,370
(SNORING)
826
00:36:49,457 --> 00:36:53,826
(WHISPERING) Sable, I know where
Jerry's gonna be. I need the tag.
827
00:36:54,713 --> 00:36:55,998
Okay.
828
00:36:57,465 --> 00:37:00,582
Yeah. Just picked up the tux.
829
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:01,966
All right, see you soon, babe.
830
00:37:03,304 --> 00:37:05,295
Hey, Rob, how're you doing, bud?
Good to see you.
831
00:37:05,473 --> 00:37:06,679
ROB: You, too, man.
832
00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:08,806
Gloria, ma'am.
833
00:37:08,977 --> 00:37:10,183
-BOY: My balloon!
-Whoa!
834
00:37:10,979 --> 00:37:12,970
Hey, this must be yours, buddy.
835
00:37:13,148 --> 00:37:14,137
Thanks, mister.
836
00:37:14,315 --> 00:37:15,395
Oh, look at that.
You gonna eat that whole thing?
837
00:37:16,276 --> 00:37:18,358
You know what? You should consider
some alternative snacks.
838
00:37:18,737 --> 00:37:20,693
Keeping fitness fun, buddy.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
839
00:37:23,241 --> 00:37:25,448
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT ON PA)
840
00:37:28,413 --> 00:37:30,244
Oh. Excuse me, ma'am.
841
00:37:30,415 --> 00:37:32,280
You dropped your...
842
00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:35,408
Men 's athletic crossover-style boot,
843
00:37:35,587 --> 00:37:37,123
size nine and a half.
844
00:37:37,630 --> 00:37:39,461
Suggests a man
that is neither fashionable
845
00:37:40,008 --> 00:37:41,418
nor athletic.
846
00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:42,582
Hoagie.
847
00:37:48,308 --> 00:37:50,139
-(CRACKS NECK)
-(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
848
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:52,141
(YELLING)
849
00:37:52,979 --> 00:37:54,139
JERRY: Little does Hoagie know
850
00:37:54,314 --> 00:37:57,021
I ’ve been teaching a women 's
self-defense boot camp for six years.
851
00:37:57,942 --> 00:37:59,148
First defense 101.
852
00:37:59,319 --> 00:38:00,604
Class is in session.
853
00:38:01,863 --> 00:38:02,898
(HOAGIE GROANS)
854
00:38:10,830 --> 00:38:11,945
Holy shit!
855
00:38:17,420 --> 00:38:18,409
(HOAGIE GROANS)
856
00:38:29,390 --> 00:38:30,425
(YELPS)
857
00:38:32,852 --> 00:38:33,932
(G ROANS)
858
00:38:34,979 --> 00:38:35,968
(MUSIC STOPS)
859
00:38:38,983 --> 00:38:39,972
Hmm.
860
00:38:40,068 --> 00:38:41,524
(MUSIC RESUMES)
861
00:38:42,654 --> 00:38:43,734
(HOAGIE YELLING)
862
00:38:46,991 --> 00:38:48,197
(G ROANS)
863
00:38:52,330 --> 00:38:53,490
-You're done, Hoagie.
-Never!
864
00:38:53,665 --> 00:38:54,654
You're done.
865
00:38:54,833 --> 00:38:55,822
Never!
866
00:38:55,917 --> 00:38:57,032
(GRUNTING)
867
00:38:58,127 --> 00:39:00,083
-All right, I'm done.
-(CHUCKLES)
868
00:39:00,171 --> 00:39:02,913
Dude, you look amazing, by the way.
You've really upped your game!
869
00:39:03,091 --> 00:39:04,752
How'd you know I was gonna be here?
870
00:39:04,843 --> 00:39:06,424
Aha! Surprised you, right?
871
00:39:07,053 --> 00:39:08,839
I saw the pick-up ticket for your tailor
872
00:39:08,930 --> 00:39:10,010
when we broke into your house
the other night.
873
00:39:13,017 --> 00:39:14,006
Impressive.
874
00:39:14,185 --> 00:39:15,470
I'm taking you down, Jerry.
875
00:39:15,645 --> 00:39:17,510
Well, we both know
that's never gonna happen.
876
00:39:17,689 --> 00:39:19,645
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Coming through. Excuse me.
877
00:39:19,816 --> 00:39:21,932
Oh, boy. Cavalry's coming in.
878
00:39:22,110 --> 00:39:23,520
Hey, Jerry.
879
00:39:23,695 --> 00:39:25,105
This old lady bothering you?
880
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,692
I'm good, Marvin. Thanks, man.
Everything's all right.
881
00:39:27,866 --> 00:39:29,072
It's just a friend of mine.
882
00:39:29,242 --> 00:39:30,448
Hey, it's good to see you.
Looking good, brother.
883
00:39:30,577 --> 00:39:32,613
-My man.
-JERRY: Yeah, staying in shape.
884
00:39:34,289 --> 00:39:35,950
-What the fuck?
-(LAUGHING)
885
00:39:36,124 --> 00:39:38,240
All right, well, maybe
I'll call the police. All right?
886
00:39:38,418 --> 00:39:40,374
This is assault.
You willing to go to jail for this?
887
00:39:40,962 --> 00:39:42,623
Oh, you're goddamn right, lam.
888
00:39:43,298 --> 00:39:48,383
Okay, then maybe I will cause
a big scene and get arrested also.
889
00:39:48,553 --> 00:39:51,044
Then, once we both get to jail,
I'll just...
890
00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:52,337
What? Bribe a guard?
891
00:39:52,432 --> 00:39:54,923
Be put in my cell? Yeah, I figured
you'd say that. It's pretty obvious.
892
00:39:55,101 --> 00:39:57,137
Hoag, you have to realize
that's gonna take hours,
893
00:39:57,312 --> 00:39:58,552
during which time
894
00:39:58,730 --> 00:40:00,436
I'll have fashioned
a shiv from my toothbrush
895
00:40:00,523 --> 00:40:01,933
and used it to murder my cellmate.
896
00:40:02,108 --> 00:40:03,223
You'd just shiv your cellmate?
897
00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:05,858
Don't worry. He's a bad person
who's done terrible things,
898
00:40:06,029 --> 00:40:07,018
so justice is served.
899
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:08,269
Okay.
900
00:40:08,364 --> 00:40:10,320
It gets me thrown in solitary
confinement, which is what I want.
901
00:40:10,700 --> 00:40:13,658
Out of reach. Completely untaggable.
902
00:40:13,828 --> 00:40:15,284
Damn, you have thought this through.
903
00:40:15,371 --> 00:40:16,827
(LAUGHING)
904
00:40:16,915 --> 00:40:18,121
Pretty good, right?
905
00:40:18,499 --> 00:40:20,160
Look, understand two things, Hoagie.
906
00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:23,038
First, you're not gonna screw up
this wedding. Okay?
907
00:40:23,212 --> 00:40:26,204
And secondly,
I will never let you tag me.
908
00:40:26,382 --> 00:40:28,589
You're gonna die before that ever
happens. You understand that, right?
909
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:32,298
I don't fear death, Jerry.
And I'm not gonna give this up
910
00:40:32,472 --> 00:40:33,587
till I die.
911
00:40:34,057 --> 00:40:36,298
Okay. Good luck.
912
00:40:45,902 --> 00:40:47,893
See you at the rehearsal, Jerry.
913
00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:52,731
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
914
00:40:53,326 --> 00:40:56,534
Mmm! These hushpuppies are insane.
915
00:40:56,621 --> 00:40:57,610
All right, listen.
916
00:40:57,705 --> 00:41:01,948
T-minus 34 minutes until this rehearsal
dinner is over, and Jerry's fair game.
917
00:41:02,043 --> 00:41:04,750
There's four of us. There's four exits.
Let's fan out and trap this rat.
918
00:41:04,921 --> 00:41:06,161
Okay? Synchronize your watches.
919
00:41:06,339 --> 00:41:08,125
-I don't know how to do that.
-I don't wear a watch.
920
00:41:08,299 --> 00:41:10,164
Time is a construct.
921
00:41:11,094 --> 00:41:12,925
Okay, uh, 5:00.
922
00:41:13,096 --> 00:41:14,711
Could have said that at the beginning.
923
00:41:15,264 --> 00:41:16,253
Well, we said it now.
924
00:41:16,432 --> 00:41:18,923
-5:00, how hard is that?
-5:00, yeah, it's easy.
925
00:41:19,102 --> 00:41:21,058
-Hi, guys. How are you?
-How are you?
926
00:41:21,229 --> 00:41:22,594
Sorry about the other night.
That wasn't...
927
00:41:22,772 --> 00:41:23,887
-SUSAN: Oh!
-Yeah, that wasn't cool.
928
00:41:24,065 --> 00:41:26,181
No. I mean, listen,
I know it's notjust you guys.
929
00:41:26,359 --> 00:41:28,395
I mean, Jerry's worse than all of you.
930
00:41:28,569 --> 00:41:30,150
He's very competitive.
931
00:41:30,321 --> 00:41:31,527
When we were kids, we had a contest
932
00:41:31,698 --> 00:41:34,189
to see who could hold their breath
for the longest underwater.
933
00:41:34,826 --> 00:41:36,362
He almost died.
934
00:41:36,452 --> 00:41:39,194
He won, but at what cost? Really?
935
00:41:39,288 --> 00:41:43,372
Oh, I hope he's this competitive
when it comes to being a father.
936
00:41:44,460 --> 00:41:45,449
Are you pregnant?
937
00:41:46,045 --> 00:41:48,161
-Real|y?
-Yeah, that's why the Shirley Temple.
938
00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:49,624
-Oh, my gosh!
-SUSAN: I know.
939
00:41:49,799 --> 00:41:51,084
-Here, Cheers!
-Congratulations, that's great!
940
00:41:51,259 --> 00:41:52,374
-Cheers, thank you!
-Oh, my gosh!
941
00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:53,837
-That's such good news.
-Thank you. Yeah.
942
00:41:54,012 --> 00:41:55,877
-We're not telling that many people.
-Okay.
943
00:41:56,055 --> 00:41:58,011
Listen, I know
it's gonna get a little wacky
944
00:41:58,182 --> 00:41:59,672
over the next couple of days
with you guys.
945
00:41:59,851 --> 00:42:01,512
-Sure the fuck is, yeah.
-SUSAN: Okay.
946
00:42:01,602 --> 00:42:04,093
(LAUGHING) Just don't go too far
947
00:42:04,188 --> 00:42:07,476
and go out there and play golf.
It's amazing. Do something fun.
948
00:42:07,567 --> 00:42:10,058
-Okay? Okay. Bye, guys.
-See you.
949
00:42:10,153 --> 00:42:12,519
I like her.
She has a beautiful personality.
950
00:42:12,697 --> 00:42:14,562
Very effervescent. Good energy.
Good vibes.
951
00:42:14,699 --> 00:42:16,155
Ah, don't believe a word
she fucking says.
952
00:42:16,325 --> 00:42:17,610
She's a hired hand. She's an actress.
953
00:42:17,827 --> 00:42:19,613
-What?
-I mean, look at this son of a bitch.
954
00:42:19,787 --> 00:42:21,652
-This is Colonel Sanders in the flesh.
-That's, like, her uncle.
955
00:42:21,831 --> 00:42:23,867
-lt's the fucking Truman Show.
-Will you stop?
956
00:42:23,958 --> 00:42:26,290
The whole thing. Jerry set it up.
I guarantee it.
957
00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:28,117
Every single person here has been hired.
958
00:42:28,212 --> 00:42:29,577
You have gotta calm down.
959
00:42:29,672 --> 00:42:32,664
Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm his wife.
960
00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:36,092
Jerry, is that Cheryl Deakins?
961
00:42:41,934 --> 00:42:43,219
Oh, yeah. Good. Hey!
962
00:42:43,770 --> 00:42:44,930
-You invited her?
-Yeah, of course.
963
00:42:45,104 --> 00:42:46,093
What?
964
00:42:46,272 --> 00:42:47,978
What? We're all old friends.
965
00:42:48,649 --> 00:42:49,638
Makes sense.
966
00:42:49,817 --> 00:42:51,023
I'm not buying this.
967
00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:55,227
Is that, uh...
968
00:42:55,406 --> 00:42:57,021
BOB: Cheryl Deakins.
969
00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:58,235
CHILLI: You know she was coming, Bob?
970
00:42:58,576 --> 00:43:00,407
-I did not.
-I didn't either.
971
00:43:00,578 --> 00:43:01,567
She looks good.
972
00:43:01,746 --> 00:43:03,327
-Great. She always does.
-Yeah.
973
00:43:04,082 --> 00:43:05,322
CHILLI: Wow!
974
00:43:05,500 --> 00:43:07,616
Uh, who is Cheryl Deakins?
975
00:43:07,794 --> 00:43:10,627
Is she like the Yoko or something?
976
00:43:10,797 --> 00:43:12,333
I don't get that reference,
977
00:43:12,507 --> 00:43:15,340
but she's someone whose presence
causes strain on our group.
978
00:43:15,885 --> 00:43:17,591
We've known her since grade school.
979
00:43:19,263 --> 00:43:22,596
She was the first girl that Chilli
and Callahan had a crush on.
980
00:43:23,226 --> 00:43:25,888
When we were kids,
Cheryl was into Chilli,
981
00:43:26,187 --> 00:43:28,678
much to Callahan’s chagrin.
982
00:43:28,856 --> 00:43:31,063
But young love is unpredictable.
983
00:43:31,234 --> 00:43:34,192
Later that same year, she decided
she was into Callahan,
984
00:43:34,487 --> 00:43:36,773
much to Chilli’s chagrin.
985
00:43:37,490 --> 00:43:40,698
But she always had
a place in her heart for Chilli.
986
00:43:49,127 --> 00:43:50,788
And this went on for decades.
987
00:43:50,962 --> 00:43:53,123
And all of a sudden,
she just married an orthodontist.
988
00:43:53,214 --> 00:43:54,203
Huh.
989
00:43:55,341 --> 00:43:56,581
They get all the Chicks.
990
00:43:56,676 --> 00:43:57,665
What?
991
00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:59,216
How long has it been
since you've seen her?
992
00:43:59,387 --> 00:44:01,127
About 10 years for me. How about you?
993
00:44:01,764 --> 00:44:02,970
Same, I guess.
994
00:44:04,433 --> 00:44:05,889
-Been a while.
-CH|LL|: Sure has.
995
00:44:05,977 --> 00:44:07,808
You sneaky trickster.
996
00:44:07,979 --> 00:44:10,766
She looks amazing, and you know it.
Think about this.
997
00:44:10,940 --> 00:44:14,307
What if Cheryl ended up getting back
together with our boy?
998
00:44:14,485 --> 00:44:15,770
-Chi|li?
-Callahan?
999
00:44:15,945 --> 00:44:17,060
Obviously.
1000
00:44:17,155 --> 00:44:18,361
-Wait. What?
-Duh.
1001
00:44:18,531 --> 00:44:19,941
-Did you say Chilli?
-You're Team Callahan?
1002
00:44:20,116 --> 00:44:21,981
-Yeah!
-We've been married all this time,
1003
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:23,491
and you think she should end up
with Callahan?
1004
00:44:23,661 --> 00:44:25,993
Of course. Wait, you think Chilli?
1005
00:44:26,164 --> 00:44:28,621
Wait, do you know those guys at all?
1006
00:44:28,916 --> 00:44:30,201
Who are you right now?
1007
00:44:30,293 --> 00:44:31,282
-What?
-You're freaking me out.
1008
00:44:31,377 --> 00:44:32,366
Ifeel like I don't even know you.
1009
00:44:32,503 --> 00:44:33,913
You're like this foreign person.
1010
00:44:36,549 --> 00:44:38,210
Do you want me to be a foreign person?
1011
00:44:38,759 --> 00:44:39,748
What?
1012
00:44:40,595 --> 00:44:41,960
Here? Right now?
1013
00:44:42,054 --> 00:44:43,464
Because, um...
1014
00:44:43,556 --> 00:44:45,592
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) ljust got lost
on the way to bibliotheque,
1015
00:44:45,766 --> 00:44:47,973
and I don't know
where all my other French friends are.
1016
00:44:48,144 --> 00:44:49,179
Chantelle is here?
1017
00:44:49,353 --> 00:44:50,559
Chantelle is here with...
1018
00:44:50,730 --> 00:44:51,719
HOAGIE: Oh, my God!
1019
00:44:55,067 --> 00:44:56,807
(IN NORMAL ACCENT)
Honey, it's almost 5:00.
1020
00:44:57,653 --> 00:44:59,189
Keep your head in the game.
1021
00:44:59,363 --> 00:45:00,352
You're so good.
1022
00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:01,941
Come on, we'll go to the bathroom
for five minutes.
1023
00:45:02,116 --> 00:45:03,105
All right.
1024
00:45:03,284 --> 00:45:04,524
-lt's crazy.
-Huh.
1025
00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:06,693
-Hey, you should go talk with her.
-No, you should go.
1026
00:45:06,871 --> 00:45:07,951
Neither of you should.
1027
00:45:08,664 --> 00:45:10,370
-BOB: Thanks.
-You're welcome. Neither one.
1028
00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:11,910
Shut up, Sable.
1029
00:45:12,001 --> 00:45:13,366
No, honestly, it should be you, Bob.
1030
00:45:13,544 --> 00:45:15,080
No, I think she really
wants to talk to you
1031
00:45:15,171 --> 00:45:18,083
'cause I think girls really like,
you know,
1032
00:45:18,257 --> 00:45:21,420
depressed guys that still have a name
for their bong.
1033
00:45:22,094 --> 00:45:23,925
UNHAUNG)
1034
00:45:25,556 --> 00:45:26,716
Get a good one.
1035
00:45:29,310 --> 00:45:30,720
This is gonna go great.
1036
00:45:31,604 --> 00:45:32,684
-Thank you.
-(COUGHS)
1037
00:45:32,855 --> 00:45:34,561
All right, good advice.
1038
00:45:36,192 --> 00:45:37,181
Good luck.
1039
00:45:38,569 --> 00:45:40,184
Tell her I said hi.
1040
00:45:44,533 --> 00:45:45,522
CHILLI: Cheryl Deakins.
1041
00:45:46,244 --> 00:45:47,700
Chilli CiIIiano.
1042
00:45:48,037 --> 00:45:49,197
How'd you know it was me?
1043
00:45:49,372 --> 00:45:52,205
I'd know that faint smell of sativa
and Old Spice anywhere.
1044
00:45:52,375 --> 00:45:54,115
Yeah. I had to get a little stoned.
1045
00:45:54,293 --> 00:45:56,204
I can't be sober at these things.
They're awful.
1046
00:45:56,295 --> 00:45:57,284
(CHERYL LAUGHS)
1047
00:45:57,380 --> 00:45:58,916
That was the wrong Choice, man.
1048
00:45:59,298 --> 00:46:00,287
What?
1049
00:46:00,466 --> 00:46:04,459
Neither of you should have gone,
but if one of you should have went,
1050
00:46:04,637 --> 00:46:05,968
then it should have been you.
1051
00:46:06,347 --> 00:46:07,632
How many wines have you had?
1052
00:46:09,350 --> 00:46:11,841
How many legs does an octopus have?
1053
00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:13,805
Well, eight.
1054
00:46:14,438 --> 00:46:15,598
(LAUGHS)
1055
00:46:16,607 --> 00:46:19,974
I see that you've been
rejecting fashion trends
1056
00:46:20,152 --> 00:46:22,939
and haircuts and maybe hygiene.
I respect that.
1057
00:46:23,114 --> 00:46:27,574
Well, I think respect is the key to the
beginning of rebuilding a friendship.
1058
00:46:27,702 --> 00:46:29,943
-ls that a saying? Maybe?
-Yeah, sure. Who said that?
1059
00:46:30,121 --> 00:46:33,284
I don't know. lwanna hear
about this husband of yours.
1060
00:46:34,292 --> 00:46:38,160
What's the story?
Is he still Charming, sensible, riCh?
1061
00:46:38,713 --> 00:46:40,499
No. Dead.
1062
00:46:40,965 --> 00:46:42,751
Yeah, same with me.
1063
00:46:42,925 --> 00:46:44,711
Dead to me. Divorced.
1064
00:46:45,636 --> 00:46:49,470
No, I mean he's "dead" dead.
He actually died.
1065
00:46:49,932 --> 00:46:51,012
He's dead?
1066
00:46:51,934 --> 00:46:53,094
For real?
1067
00:46:53,519 --> 00:46:54,599
Oh...
1068
00:46:54,687 --> 00:46:56,848
Yeah, he, um...
1069
00:46:56,939 --> 00:46:59,476
He died in a car crash.
We were separated already.
1070
00:46:59,567 --> 00:47:00,932
Oh, you already separated.
1071
00:47:01,277 --> 00:47:02,892
-Yeah.
-And now he's dead. He's gone.
1072
00:47:03,070 --> 00:47:04,150
-He's gone.
-Officially.
1073
00:47:04,322 --> 00:47:06,904
Act a little more upset about it.
1074
00:47:07,074 --> 00:47:09,565
I know, but, anyway, how are you?
How's your life?
1075
00:47:09,702 --> 00:47:13,911
Great. I lost my business. Divorced.
Playing tag competitively.
1076
00:47:14,081 --> 00:47:15,116
Pretty much rock bottom.
1077
00:47:15,291 --> 00:47:17,577
-Are you trying to make me horny?
-FUCk yes, lam.
1078
00:47:17,668 --> 00:47:19,033
-'Cause it's happening.
-It is?
1079
00:47:19,128 --> 00:47:21,210
-Oh, yeah.
-(BOTH LAUGHING)
1080
00:47:21,297 --> 00:47:22,377
(SIGHS)
1081
00:47:22,465 --> 00:47:23,955
So have you tried the hushpuppies,
or what?
1082
00:47:24,050 --> 00:47:25,415
What do you think they're talking about?
1083
00:47:25,509 --> 00:47:27,215
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1084
00:47:27,303 --> 00:47:29,419
I don't know, and I don't want
you to worry about it.
1085
00:47:29,597 --> 00:47:30,712
We've got 15 minutes.
1086
00:47:30,890 --> 00:47:35,304
Oh, Chilli, lthink about you
all the time, Chilli.
1087
00:47:35,394 --> 00:47:36,429
(HOAGIE SNORTS)
1088
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,932
JERRY: Oh, yeah? But what about
Callahan? He's so handsome.
1089
00:47:39,106 --> 00:47:41,347
He's very handsome,
but he's a selfish lover
1090
00:47:41,525 --> 00:47:42,810
with a small diCk.
1091
00:47:43,069 --> 00:47:44,058
Really?
1092
00:47:44,153 --> 00:47:45,484
JERRY: Plus he sobs after he comes.
1093
00:47:45,654 --> 00:47:47,019
-Okay.
-(IMITATES SOBBING)
1094
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:48,228
Wow.
1095
00:47:48,407 --> 00:47:50,898
It's okay, Callahan.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
1096
00:47:50,993 --> 00:47:52,608
Okay, you know what?
You guys are all 12-year-olds.
1097
00:47:52,703 --> 00:47:53,692
-(LAUGHS)
-Oh, Chilli.
1098
00:47:53,788 --> 00:47:56,450
SABLE: Hey, Cheryl, lwant to reconnect.
1099
00:47:56,791 --> 00:48:00,079
Oh, yeah.
1100
00:48:00,169 --> 00:48:01,659
-What's happening now?
-Oh, Bob!
1101
00:48:01,837 --> 00:48:04,920
Yeah, I'm just...
Oh, I'm just feeling the vibes.
1102
00:48:05,049 --> 00:48:08,462
JERRY: I mean, who wants to have sex
with a guy named Bob?
1103
00:48:08,636 --> 00:48:11,594
"Oh, Bob." Just doesn't sound right.
"Oh, Bob."
1104
00:48:11,764 --> 00:48:12,970
-"Oh, Bob."
-"Oh, Bob."
1105
00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:15,222
-"Bob. Bob, Bob."
-"Oh, Robert."
1106
00:48:15,309 --> 00:48:16,389
"Bob."
1107
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:17,925
I wasn't gonna text you, you know?
1108
00:48:18,104 --> 00:48:19,389
I didn't wanna mess with you
when you were married.
1109
00:48:19,563 --> 00:48:21,144
No, lthink that's nice. Respectful.
1110
00:48:21,315 --> 00:48:22,600
If I knew he was dead,
I would have texted right away.
1111
00:48:22,775 --> 00:48:23,764
All right. Okay.
1112
00:48:23,943 --> 00:48:26,355
-No! Please don't leave on that!
-No, it's fine.
1113
00:48:26,529 --> 00:48:28,360
We're good. We're good.
I'm just gonna use the ladies' room.
1114
00:48:28,489 --> 00:48:29,478
-l'll see you later.
-Okay.
1115
00:48:29,573 --> 00:48:30,562
-lt's nice to see you.
-lt's great to see you.
1116
00:48:30,783 --> 00:48:31,772
You too.
1117
00:48:36,038 --> 00:48:37,027
Widowed.
1118
00:48:37,665 --> 00:48:39,496
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1119
00:48:54,682 --> 00:48:56,092
Cheryl Deakins.
1120
00:48:56,642 --> 00:48:58,007
What are you doing here?
1121
00:48:58,185 --> 00:48:59,174
And where are the urinals?
1122
00:48:59,728 --> 00:49:00,968
Probably in the men's room.
1123
00:49:02,356 --> 00:49:04,221
-You haven't Changed a bit.
-Thank you.
1124
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:05,731
No, that was not a compliment.
1125
00:49:05,901 --> 00:49:07,766
Well, I have matured.
1126
00:49:07,945 --> 00:49:09,276
Have you? Really?
1127
00:49:09,447 --> 00:49:11,859
Because this old move where you
follow me into the bathroom,
1128
00:49:12,032 --> 00:49:13,442
it's exactly what you did
atjunior prom.
1129
00:49:13,617 --> 00:49:15,949
It was a good move then,
and it's a good move now.
1130
00:49:16,370 --> 00:49:17,701
-Marginally nicer bathroom.
-Mmm.
1131
00:49:18,497 --> 00:49:19,486
Do you wanna get a drink?
1132
00:49:19,582 --> 00:49:21,118
Uh, actually, I think
I'm gonna head home.
1133
00:49:21,292 --> 00:49:22,372
Can I give you a ride?
1134
00:49:23,002 --> 00:49:24,367
-Sure.
-Great.
1135
00:49:24,795 --> 00:49:25,875
Right after we have that drink.
1136
00:49:26,046 --> 00:49:27,502
Oh, I see what you did there.
1137
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:35,132
Okay, guys. It's almost go time.
Is everybody in position? Over.
1138
00:49:35,514 --> 00:49:37,425
Sable is in position.
1139
00:49:37,516 --> 00:49:38,926
(COUGHING)
1140
00:49:39,393 --> 00:49:40,974
-HOAGIE: Chilli!
-Yeah. Let's get him.
1141
00:49:41,145 --> 00:49:44,228
HOAGIE: Callahan. Callahan,
do you read me? Over.
1142
00:49:46,275 --> 00:49:48,516
Callahan. Where are you, buddy?
1143
00:49:51,489 --> 00:49:52,899
Callahan!
1144
00:49:53,073 --> 00:49:55,280
We got an unguarded exit, okay?
1145
00:49:55,951 --> 00:49:56,940
Hi.
1146
00:49:57,703 --> 00:49:59,239
Callahan!
1147
00:49:59,914 --> 00:50:01,745
-(BOTH LAUGHING)
-(GLASSES CLINK)
1148
00:50:06,212 --> 00:50:07,372
Go! Go! Go! Go!
1149
00:50:07,463 --> 00:50:08,452
Go!
1150
00:50:08,631 --> 00:50:10,167
Not today, motherfucker!
1151
00:50:12,426 --> 00:50:14,087
Hey, thanks for coming. Appreciate it.
1152
00:50:15,888 --> 00:50:17,094
(WOMAN GASPS)
1153
00:50:19,391 --> 00:50:20,471
Go! Go!
1154
00:50:20,643 --> 00:50:22,884
-Come and get it, bitches!
-(ALL GRUNTING)
1155
00:50:24,730 --> 00:50:26,470
-Get in! Get in!
-We're Close. We're Close.
1156
00:50:26,649 --> 00:50:28,014
Go!
1157
00:50:33,656 --> 00:50:36,272
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
1158
00:50:39,119 --> 00:50:40,609
(LAUGHS)
1159
00:50:42,331 --> 00:50:43,696
-Hold on! Hold on!
-SABLE: Go, go!
1160
00:50:45,292 --> 00:50:47,248
Go faster! Go faster!
1161
00:50:47,336 --> 00:50:48,701
HOAGIE: Giddy up!
1162
00:50:49,797 --> 00:50:51,082
We're coming for you!
1163
00:50:52,841 --> 00:50:54,832
CHILLI: Go, Hoagie, go!
1164
00:50:59,306 --> 00:51:00,421
(ALL SCREAMING)
1165
00:51:00,516 --> 00:51:01,505
Jesus!
1166
00:51:03,894 --> 00:51:04,974
Incoming!
1167
00:51:06,564 --> 00:51:07,679
CHILLI: Son ofa bitch!
HOAGIE: Come on!
1168
00:51:07,773 --> 00:51:09,229
CHILLI: Go! Go!
1169
00:51:10,651 --> 00:51:12,016
God, lwiSh I had my gun here.
1170
00:51:12,194 --> 00:51:14,310
There are so many good birds to shoot.
1171
00:51:14,405 --> 00:51:15,485
(CLEARS THROAT)
1172
00:51:15,948 --> 00:51:17,279
So this is a vacation for you?
1173
00:51:17,449 --> 00:51:21,408
Yeah. I mean, some couples go
on cruises. Some couples go camping.
1174
00:51:21,579 --> 00:51:25,367
Some couples go to strip Clubs
and have gangbangs,
1175
00:51:25,541 --> 00:51:27,281
and this is just what we do.
This is what we love.
1176
00:51:27,459 --> 00:51:28,869
This is our gangbang.
1177
00:51:29,712 --> 00:51:32,044
You know, it seems to me like
you'd be really good at the game.
1178
00:51:32,214 --> 00:51:33,203
-Why don't you play?
-Well,
1179
00:51:33,382 --> 00:51:36,340
they came up with the rules
when they were nine. No girls allowed.
1180
00:51:36,844 --> 00:51:39,677
And to be honest, I can get a little
1181
00:51:39,763 --> 00:51:42,596
overly aggressive
and competitive sometimes.
1182
00:51:42,766 --> 00:51:44,427
HOAGIE: Come on, Jerry.
You're dead meat!
1183
00:51:44,643 --> 00:51:46,258
CHILLI: Yeah, kick his ass!
1184
00:51:46,437 --> 00:51:48,143
Keep your eyes downfield!
1185
00:51:48,314 --> 00:51:49,770
Cut across the fourth fairway!
1186
00:51:49,940 --> 00:51:51,771
Don't fuck this up!
1187
00:51:52,026 --> 00:51:53,607
Yeah. Well.
1188
00:51:54,987 --> 00:51:57,524
Oh, I have to show you
pictures of our kids.
1189
00:51:57,615 --> 00:51:59,071
(HIP-HOP MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
1190
00:51:59,742 --> 00:52:00,902
Go, go, go!
1191
00:52:02,870 --> 00:52:03,905
Get him, Hoagie. Get him!
1192
00:52:04,079 --> 00:52:05,239
Hold on. Hold on.
1193
00:52:06,248 --> 00:52:08,204
CHILLI: (YELPS) Hoagie, stop!
1194
00:52:09,084 --> 00:52:11,541
-Hoagie, what are you doing?
-I can't see!
1195
00:52:11,629 --> 00:52:12,709
(SCREAMS)
1196
00:52:17,801 --> 00:52:19,337
(GROANING)
1197
00:52:20,471 --> 00:52:23,178
Ahh! (SHUDDERS) Whoo!
1198
00:52:23,682 --> 00:52:24,842
(G ROANS)
1199
00:52:24,933 --> 00:52:25,922
Everybody good?
1200
00:52:26,018 --> 00:52:28,555
I'm fine. I'm fine.
1201
00:52:28,646 --> 00:52:29,852
(HOAGIE LAUGHS)
1202
00:52:30,522 --> 00:52:31,762
Well, that happened.
1203
00:52:31,857 --> 00:52:33,393
-(SABLE GROANS)
-Onward.
1204
00:52:34,902 --> 00:52:35,891
Let's get him.
1205
00:52:35,986 --> 00:52:37,226
Whoo! That was invigorating.
1206
00:52:41,784 --> 00:52:43,775
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1207
00:52:47,331 --> 00:52:50,038
HOAGIE: Oh. (LAUGHS)
1208
00:52:50,209 --> 00:52:53,292
That is psychological warfare
right there.
1209
00:52:54,046 --> 00:52:55,035
CHILLI: That's impressive.
1210
00:52:55,214 --> 00:52:56,249
HOAGIE: Yeah, that's a good move.
1211
00:52:56,423 --> 00:52:57,788
Good one, Jer!
1212
00:53:00,219 --> 00:53:01,299
(WHISTLES)
1213
00:53:01,553 --> 00:53:02,542
There he is!
1214
00:53:04,181 --> 00:53:05,421
Hello, boys.
1215
00:53:06,058 --> 00:53:07,298
(GASPS)
1216
00:53:08,143 --> 00:53:09,929
-What?
-(JERRY WHISTLES)
1217
00:53:10,521 --> 00:53:11,510
HOAGIE: What the...
1218
00:53:11,605 --> 00:53:12,890
CHILLI: How's he doing this?
1219
00:53:13,065 --> 00:53:14,145
All right, Jerry, stop!
1220
00:53:14,316 --> 00:53:15,556
SABLE: He's multiplying!
It's happening!
1221
00:53:15,734 --> 00:53:16,723
-What the fuck?
-There's one!
1222
00:53:16,819 --> 00:53:18,730
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
1223
00:53:18,821 --> 00:53:19,810
-(JERRY WHISTLES)
-One is there!
1224
00:53:19,988 --> 00:53:21,103
HOAGIE: Hey!
SABLE: What?
1225
00:53:21,490 --> 00:53:22,900
You guys, there's so many.
There's so many!
1226
00:53:23,075 --> 00:53:24,064
What the...
1227
00:53:24,493 --> 00:53:26,484
There he is! I'm coming for you, Jerry!
1228
00:53:26,578 --> 00:53:27,693
Chilli, you're not even it!
1229
00:53:27,788 --> 00:53:29,198
(PANTING)
1230
00:53:35,921 --> 00:53:37,377
I'm on your ass!
1231
00:53:39,466 --> 00:53:40,455
Come on!
1232
00:53:48,183 --> 00:53:49,798
(WOOD CREAKING)
1233
00:53:49,893 --> 00:53:51,679
Oh, shit!
1234
00:53:52,271 --> 00:53:53,386
Shit!
1235
00:54:01,321 --> 00:54:04,028
This is terrible. This is pure bullshit.
1236
00:54:04,199 --> 00:54:05,188
We should not be here.
1237
00:54:05,325 --> 00:54:07,782
This is getting way too extreme.
1238
00:54:07,870 --> 00:54:09,610
I need you to buck up, Sable.
1239
00:54:09,788 --> 00:54:11,028
-Yeah.
-Come on, let's stay focused.
1240
00:54:11,123 --> 00:54:13,785
Yeah, we bucked up
out of the goddamn golf cart.
1241
00:54:18,547 --> 00:54:20,287
(SNIFFS) You smell that?
Do you smell it?
1242
00:54:20,466 --> 00:54:21,751
It's Jerry. I smell him.
1243
00:54:21,925 --> 00:54:23,005
It's leaves and grass.
1244
00:54:23,969 --> 00:54:25,084
And centipedes.
1245
00:54:25,721 --> 00:54:26,961
Just typical woods stuff.
1246
00:54:27,598 --> 00:54:29,429
He's Close.
1247
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:30,760
I can feel it.
1248
00:54:30,934 --> 00:54:32,140
I can feel something.
1249
00:54:32,227 --> 00:54:33,717
-(TW|G SNAPS)
(YELPS)
1250
00:54:33,812 --> 00:54:34,847
Oh, shit!
1251
00:54:37,524 --> 00:54:39,264
-Jesus! Oh, my God!
-Oh, shit.
1252
00:54:39,443 --> 00:54:41,434
-Oh my, God!
-Wow, that's crazy.
1253
00:54:41,528 --> 00:54:42,563
(LAUGHS)
1254
00:54:42,654 --> 00:54:45,270
Our friend is a psychopath,
and this is scary.
1255
00:54:46,450 --> 00:54:48,281
He got me. I'm down.
1256
00:54:48,744 --> 00:54:51,076
This is on you now. Come here.
1257
00:54:51,872 --> 00:54:52,907
Let me tag you.
1258
00:54:53,707 --> 00:54:55,288
-Come on!
-(G RU NTS)
1259
00:54:55,959 --> 00:54:56,948
All right.
1260
00:54:58,337 --> 00:54:59,326
(WHISPERS) I can see him.
1261
00:54:59,505 --> 00:55:02,838
He's at three o'clock. 50 yards out.
1262
00:55:03,008 --> 00:55:04,748
-Three o'clock. Got it.
-Three o'clock.
1263
00:55:06,678 --> 00:55:07,713
Sable!
1264
00:55:10,724 --> 00:55:12,089
That three o'clock.
1265
00:55:12,267 --> 00:55:14,223
-You didn't say which time zone, man!
-There's no time zones.
1266
00:55:14,394 --> 00:55:16,601
Why didn't you just point
the first time? Next time, just point.
1267
00:55:16,772 --> 00:55:17,932
It's that way. Go!
1268
00:55:18,106 --> 00:55:19,095
-Okay.
-Go, go, go.
1269
00:55:19,608 --> 00:55:20,597
Go, Sable, go!
1270
00:55:44,508 --> 00:55:46,499
(WHISPERS) | see you.
1271
00:55:48,387 --> 00:55:50,048
Yeah, motherfucker.
1272
00:55:55,269 --> 00:55:56,258
You're it!
1273
00:55:56,353 --> 00:55:57,968
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
1274
00:55:58,063 --> 00:55:59,894
(BOTH SCREAMING)
1275
00:56:05,863 --> 00:56:07,273
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
1276
00:56:08,657 --> 00:56:09,863
Oh, I don't like that.
1277
00:56:09,950 --> 00:56:11,781
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
1278
00:56:12,953 --> 00:56:14,363
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
1279
00:56:15,038 --> 00:56:16,448
(SHUSHING)
1280
00:56:17,291 --> 00:56:18,280
Sleep.
1281
00:56:20,586 --> 00:56:21,996
(JERRY LAUGHING)
1282
00:56:23,881 --> 00:56:24,870
(PANTING) Sable?
1283
00:56:25,966 --> 00:56:27,206
Sable?
1284
00:56:35,058 --> 00:56:36,468
(SNORING)
1285
00:56:41,690 --> 00:56:43,021
What happened?
1286
00:56:43,108 --> 00:56:44,314
Well, you got chloroformed.
1287
00:56:44,401 --> 00:56:46,016
Chloroformed? What?
1288
00:56:46,111 --> 00:56:47,897
Bob took our car,
and now we're in a Lyft.
1289
00:56:47,988 --> 00:56:49,103
We're going to the Sandpiper.
1290
00:56:49,698 --> 00:56:50,687
I don't wanna be it anymore.
1291
00:56:50,866 --> 00:56:52,982
I don't wanna be it.
Hoagie, it's on you, bud.
1292
00:56:53,076 --> 00:56:54,065
Now, what the fuck?
1293
00:56:54,161 --> 00:56:56,402
Wait. I'm confused.
Whatjust happened in there?
1294
00:56:56,580 --> 00:56:59,117
Well, Jerry woke up early,
got some grounds crew
1295
00:56:59,291 --> 00:57:02,249
to go out in the woods, build some
snares and a swinging log trap,
1296
00:57:02,419 --> 00:57:04,956
and, uh, wear matching outfits
to act as decoys.
1297
00:57:05,339 --> 00:57:06,328
Maniac.
1298
00:57:06,423 --> 00:57:07,629
(CHUCKLES)
1299
00:57:09,092 --> 00:57:10,127
Are you okay?
1300
00:57:10,218 --> 00:57:13,301
Yes, yes. lam. lam... I'm good.
1301
00:57:13,805 --> 00:57:16,467
I am amazed that you're able to stay
so optimistic after all that.
1302
00:57:16,642 --> 00:57:19,133
Well, some have said
I am the heart and soul of the game.
1303
00:57:19,311 --> 00:57:20,517
No, you've said that.
1304
00:57:20,687 --> 00:57:22,052
You're the only person
I've heard say that.
1305
00:57:22,230 --> 00:57:25,973
Well, technically "just me"
fits the legal definition of "some,"
1306
00:57:26,151 --> 00:57:27,766
so suck a dick.
1307
00:57:27,861 --> 00:57:29,351
-(SCOFFS)
-(LAUGHS)
1308
00:57:29,446 --> 00:57:32,404
Well, it seems like the game
has really kept you guys connected.
1309
00:57:32,574 --> 00:57:34,155
-Exactly.
-Well, except Jerry.
1310
00:57:34,326 --> 00:57:35,691
What? Don't say that.
1311
00:57:35,869 --> 00:57:37,359
How often do you see Jerry
outside of tag?
1312
00:57:37,454 --> 00:57:40,366
Hmm... Well, not super frequently, but--
1313
00:57:40,540 --> 00:57:43,077
I mean, would you consider that
a Close friendship?
1314
00:57:45,796 --> 00:57:47,832
Well, that's kind of a diCky question.
1315
00:57:57,265 --> 00:57:58,300
HOAGIE: Thank you.
1316
00:57:59,893 --> 00:58:03,761
All I'm saying is,
Callahan better fucking be here.
1317
00:58:07,859 --> 00:58:10,020
(ALL EXCLAIM)
1318
00:58:10,112 --> 00:58:11,101
What's up? What?
1319
00:58:11,279 --> 00:58:12,485
Look who decided to Show up.
1320
00:58:12,656 --> 00:58:13,987
What? I had a business call
with Beijing.
1321
00:58:14,074 --> 00:58:15,063
Couldn't be helped. I'm sorry.
1322
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:17,782
Business call with Beijing? It would
have been 8:00 am. Saturday out there.
1323
00:58:17,953 --> 00:58:19,944
You doing business calls
at 8:00 am. Saturday morning?
1324
00:58:20,122 --> 00:58:21,737
Why do you know so much
about Beijing time zones?
1325
00:58:21,915 --> 00:58:24,748
2008 Olympics. Michael Phelps, baby.
1326
00:58:25,752 --> 00:58:27,538
Fair enough.
Okay, anyway, I have an idea.
1327
00:58:27,713 --> 00:58:28,873
-Anybody want to hear it?
-Yes.
1328
00:58:29,047 --> 00:58:30,912
-What is it?
-Jerry's gym.
1329
00:58:31,383 --> 00:58:32,919
Someone there's gotta know where he is.
1330
00:58:33,093 --> 00:58:35,209
-I like this. That's a good idea.
-ANNA: Great!
1331
00:58:35,387 --> 00:58:37,218
-Up top! Buckle up, gang!
-Yes! Giddy up!
1332
00:58:37,389 --> 00:58:38,754
-HOAG|E: You're it, by the way.
-What's wrong?
1333
00:58:38,932 --> 00:58:40,593
-My fucking knee.
-What's wrong with your knee?
1334
00:58:40,767 --> 00:58:41,756
Igot hit by a log.
1335
00:58:41,852 --> 00:58:42,932
You got hit by a log, what?
1336
00:58:43,020 --> 00:58:45,056
We were Chasing him. I got hit
by a fucking log. It really hurts.
1337
00:58:45,147 --> 00:58:47,513
I'm gonna go in. Fuck, I'm pissed off
about this, but go.
1338
00:58:47,607 --> 00:58:48,938
You want me to call the pediatrician?
1339
00:58:49,067 --> 00:58:50,432
I'm an adult.
I don't need a pediatrician.
1340
00:58:50,527 --> 00:58:51,516
You're not coming?
1341
00:58:51,611 --> 00:58:53,647
I think I'm gonna slow you down.
Why don't you guys go?
1342
00:58:53,822 --> 00:58:54,982
After the gym, let's meet up.
1343
00:58:55,157 --> 00:58:56,146
All right, fine.
1344
00:58:56,324 --> 00:58:57,313
Trust me, lwanna go, but ljust--
1345
00:58:57,492 --> 00:59:00,108
Y'all need a sub? Huh? I'm in!
1346
00:59:00,287 --> 00:59:01,823
BOB: We're super good, man. Thanks!
1347
00:59:01,913 --> 00:59:03,653
-(G ROAN S)
-We're good.
1348
00:59:03,832 --> 00:59:06,073
Who's banned now, bitch?
1349
00:59:06,668 --> 00:59:10,126
(GROANS) I'm okay.
All right, guys. Take it easy!
1350
00:59:10,213 --> 00:59:11,293
Phew.
1351
00:59:13,467 --> 00:59:15,458
-(MUSIC PLAYING)
-(|ND|ST|NCT CHATTER)
1352
00:59:21,683 --> 00:59:23,469
Oh, that knee healed up fast.
1353
00:59:23,643 --> 00:59:25,258
Stay out of this, Lou.
1354
00:59:29,524 --> 00:59:31,480
LOU: Oh, you saucy devil.
1355
00:59:32,110 --> 00:59:33,566
(LAUGHS)
1356
00:59:42,496 --> 00:59:45,863
Hey, there, welcome to Granite Fitness.
Get hard, stay hard.
1357
00:59:46,041 --> 00:59:48,999
Just so you guys know, we're going
to be Closing in five short minutes,
1358
00:59:49,169 --> 00:59:51,160
but is there anything
I can help you with?
1359
00:59:51,379 --> 00:59:53,495
Yes, Dave, in fact, there is something
you could help us with.
1360
00:59:53,673 --> 00:59:55,914
How would you like to earn $500?
1361
01:00:03,266 --> 01:00:06,178
Okay, just so you guys know, I'm not
sucking your guys' dicks, all right?
1362
01:00:06,353 --> 01:00:07,968
And I'm not letting you
suck my dick either.
1363
01:00:08,146 --> 01:00:11,104
No one is talking about anyone
sucking anyone's anything.
1364
01:00:11,274 --> 01:00:14,266
You sure about that?
'Cause this guy's eyeing me hard.
1365
01:00:14,653 --> 01:00:15,642
What?
1366
01:00:15,821 --> 01:00:17,061
I'm just saying, man,
you've got that vibe.
1367
01:00:17,155 --> 01:00:18,736
-Yeah?
-Stop it.
1368
01:00:18,907 --> 01:00:20,238
Hey, Sable, seriously. Chill.
1369
01:00:20,408 --> 01:00:21,568
-Just stop it.
-Stop it.
1370
01:00:21,785 --> 01:00:25,448
It's too sexual. You're undressing me,
literally, right now with your eyes.
1371
01:00:25,539 --> 01:00:31,500
Dave. 500 bucks, and all we want
is to know where Jerry is.
1372
01:00:31,628 --> 01:00:33,038
Oh!
1373
01:00:33,130 --> 01:00:36,418
Jerry. Yes, okay, shit.
1374
01:00:36,508 --> 01:00:39,796
He did mention that some people
were gonna swing by looking for him.
1375
01:00:40,053 --> 01:00:42,760
He left a message. Um, oh, yeah.
1376
01:00:42,931 --> 01:00:44,387
Go fuck yourselves.
1377
01:00:44,474 --> 01:00:46,840
Okay, look. $1,000.
All right? Easy money.
1378
01:00:47,018 --> 01:00:48,133
Jerry won't even know
that you sold him out.
1379
01:00:48,311 --> 01:00:50,176
I got a better idea.
Why don't you go back
1380
01:00:50,355 --> 01:00:52,687
to the little Best Western
that you're staying in
1381
01:00:52,858 --> 01:00:54,940
and jerk each other off in the nude?
1382
01:00:55,110 --> 01:00:57,271
Why do you keep taking this conversation
into a sexual direction?
1383
01:00:57,445 --> 01:01:00,528
Listen, Dave. $1,500. Don't be an idiot.
1384
01:01:00,699 --> 01:01:02,860
Not a Chance,
you dick-sucking homophobes.
1385
01:01:02,951 --> 01:01:04,236
-Hey!
-What?
1386
01:01:04,494 --> 01:01:05,483
Dave?
1387
01:01:06,621 --> 01:01:07,781
Do you know what we're gonna do?
1388
01:01:07,956 --> 01:01:08,945
What?
1389
01:01:12,586 --> 01:01:14,952
We're gonna waterboard you.
1390
01:01:26,099 --> 01:01:27,589
BOB: Don't be a hero, Dave.
1391
01:01:27,767 --> 01:01:29,382
Jerry doesn't give a shit about you.
1392
01:01:31,021 --> 01:01:32,101
So tell us where he is.
1393
01:01:32,564 --> 01:01:33,895
I'm never gonna tell you.
1394
01:01:34,941 --> 01:01:35,976
Last Chance, Dave.
1395
01:01:37,819 --> 01:01:41,186
You're not gonna go through with this
for some game, so quitjerking me off!
1396
01:01:43,074 --> 01:01:44,063
Oh, Jesus.
1397
01:01:44,242 --> 01:01:45,778
No one's jerking you Off, kid,
1398
01:01:45,952 --> 01:01:47,658
'cause Jerry has pushed us
to the fucking edge.
1399
01:01:47,829 --> 01:01:49,911
If you don't tell us
what we need to know,
1400
01:01:49,998 --> 01:01:51,613
you're going over the edge with us.
1401
01:01:51,791 --> 01:01:52,906
You ready to die for this shit?
1402
01:01:53,084 --> 01:01:55,200
I'd rather die than get sucked off
by you homophobes.
1403
01:01:55,378 --> 01:01:58,245
We're not gonna suck you off.
We're gonna waterboard you.
1404
01:01:58,423 --> 01:02:00,288
I'm just taking
a principled stand right now.
1405
01:02:00,467 --> 01:02:02,708
Okay. Well, guess what.
Now, this is gonna happen. All right?
1406
01:02:02,886 --> 01:02:04,626
Are you ready?
I hope you can hold your breath, son!
1407
01:02:04,721 --> 01:02:05,710
Do it!
1408
01:02:05,805 --> 01:02:07,511
-BOB: 'Cause this is going right down!
-(YELLING)
1409
01:02:07,682 --> 01:02:09,593
-Yeah!
-Yeah! You son of a bitch!
1410
01:02:09,768 --> 01:02:10,848
BOB: Here it comes!
1411
01:02:11,019 --> 01:02:12,179
ANNA: It's coming!
It's coming! It's coming!
1412
01:02:12,354 --> 01:02:14,140
Yeah. You know, we should not.
1413
01:02:14,314 --> 01:02:16,475
I feel like it would be way too much.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1414
01:02:16,650 --> 01:02:17,685
Phew. That got out of hand.
1415
01:02:17,859 --> 01:02:19,520
My heart is beating
really fast right now.
1416
01:02:19,694 --> 01:02:21,776
We were just kidding.
We were just bluffing.
1417
01:02:21,947 --> 01:02:24,529
ANNA: No, we weren't fucking bluffing!
BOB: Anna, Anna, Anna!
1418
01:02:24,699 --> 01:02:26,815
-Oh, my God, no. Just, no.
-Sweetheart.
1419
01:02:26,993 --> 01:02:29,826
It's a war crime, right?
It's not really who we are.
1420
01:02:29,996 --> 01:02:30,985
Yes, sorry.
1421
01:02:31,164 --> 01:02:33,029
We got a kinky cat over here.
1422
01:02:33,375 --> 01:02:34,785
-Okay.
-Fuck you, Dave.
1423
01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:36,791
God, I love your passion.
1424
01:02:36,962 --> 01:02:38,577
I'll tell you what.
1425
01:02:40,507 --> 01:02:43,465
I will tell you where Jerry's gonna be
1426
01:02:44,302 --> 01:02:47,965
for $2,000. Cash. American.
1427
01:02:48,139 --> 01:02:49,128
-Okay, fine.
-No problem.
1428
01:02:49,307 --> 01:02:50,638
Why didn't you say that
in the first place?
1429
01:02:50,809 --> 01:02:52,345
Why did you take us
down this whole road?
1430
01:02:52,519 --> 01:02:54,180
Well, it looked like
there was room to negotiate,
1431
01:02:54,271 --> 01:02:55,386
and l was all prepared to do that.
1432
01:02:55,563 --> 01:02:57,724
But then we went down
the whole torture track,
1433
01:02:57,899 --> 01:03:00,982
and ljust dug
my heels in, philosophically.
1434
01:03:01,069 --> 01:03:02,684
I happen to be an objector.
1435
01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:05,191
-We are too, obviously.
-Not really.
1436
01:03:05,365 --> 01:03:06,354
It was a bluff.
1437
01:03:06,533 --> 01:03:08,023
You know what?
You should probably not write this down,
1438
01:03:08,201 --> 01:03:09,316
and if it does come up,
1439
01:03:09,494 --> 01:03:12,577
just mention that
we didn't actually waterboard him.
1440
01:03:12,747 --> 01:03:13,736
No waterboarding.
1441
01:03:13,915 --> 01:03:16,122
Just a lot of talk about
sucking each other's dicks.
1442
01:03:16,668 --> 01:03:17,657
Yeah.
1443
01:03:18,670 --> 01:03:20,001
Okay, look, you know what? Here.
1444
01:03:20,171 --> 01:03:26,212
I'm gonna give you $2,000,
and I'm gonna give you an extra $500.
1445
01:03:26,386 --> 01:03:28,422
You just carry around that kind of cash
all day?
1446
01:03:28,596 --> 01:03:30,587
You were mentioning something
about Jerry, lthink.
1447
01:03:30,765 --> 01:03:34,098
Yeah, uh, Jerry is in AA.
1448
01:03:34,269 --> 01:03:36,806
-Wait, what?
-Yeah. Alcoholics Anonymous.
1449
01:03:36,980 --> 01:03:38,971
I know what it stands for. Wait, did you
guys know anything about this?
1450
01:03:39,357 --> 01:03:42,064
He goes there every morning
at a Church on Brunswick.
1451
01:03:42,235 --> 01:03:43,941
Looking back, I can kind of see it.
1452
01:03:44,112 --> 01:03:46,569
I mean, the first step is recognizing
you have a problem.
1453
01:03:47,282 --> 01:03:49,694
I'm just glad
he's getting the help he needs.
1454
01:03:50,327 --> 01:03:51,988
Sorry, did you say
that Church is on Brunswick?
1455
01:03:52,162 --> 01:03:53,151
-Yes.
-HOAGIE: Okay!
1456
01:03:53,288 --> 01:03:54,619
-Let's go! Clean up the water!
-Thank you!
1457
01:03:54,789 --> 01:03:56,120
So sorry.
1458
01:03:56,207 --> 01:03:57,413
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1459
01:03:57,584 --> 01:03:59,870
I told you this wasn't gonna be just
another boring corporate profile, right?
1460
01:04:00,045 --> 01:04:01,535
Right. This is definitely different.
1461
01:04:01,713 --> 01:04:04,204
And I know I'm no longer
the center of the story,
1462
01:04:04,382 --> 01:04:06,498
which is fine with me.
I don't mind giving up the...
1463
01:04:06,593 --> 01:04:08,003
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1464
01:04:09,554 --> 01:04:11,465
Bob, can I buy you a drink?
1465
01:04:11,639 --> 01:04:13,345
Can you fucking believe this?
Hold on one second.
1466
01:04:13,558 --> 01:04:15,298
-Maybe...
-One second, one second.
1467
01:04:15,477 --> 01:04:17,308
Terrible experience.
So that we will never do it...
1468
01:04:17,479 --> 01:04:20,971
Hi! Hi! Wow! Look at this.
1469
01:04:21,149 --> 01:04:22,184
-How you doing?
-Good.
1470
01:04:22,359 --> 01:04:23,519
Pretty good.
Yeah, we're just catching up.
1471
01:04:23,693 --> 01:04:25,058
That's so nice. How's that knee?
1472
01:04:25,236 --> 01:04:26,976
-It actually does hurt.
-Yeah.
1473
01:04:27,155 --> 01:04:29,771
But resting and talking to an old friend
has actually really helped.
1474
01:04:29,949 --> 01:04:31,109
Thank you for asking.
1475
01:04:31,201 --> 01:04:32,691
Hey, how was the business call
with Beijing?
1476
01:04:33,244 --> 01:04:34,233
-Supergood.
-It was?
1477
01:04:34,329 --> 01:04:36,240
-Yeah, I got a lot done.
-Great.
1478
01:04:36,331 --> 01:04:38,367
Oh, what, you think | faked
my business call to Beijing
1479
01:04:38,458 --> 01:04:39,664
like you faked hurting your knee?
1480
01:04:39,834 --> 01:04:42,166
You know what, dude?
I'm sick of this shit, Bob.
1481
01:04:42,337 --> 01:04:43,918
-You're it. How about that?
-No! Pass.
1482
01:04:44,089 --> 01:04:45,875
-You can't pass. And you can't tag back.
-You're it. I pass.
1483
01:04:46,049 --> 01:04:47,505
-Oh, my God.
-lt's like literally the first rule.
1484
01:04:47,675 --> 01:04:49,085
-You're it! You're it! You're it!
-You cannot tag me back!
1485
01:04:49,177 --> 01:04:51,839
-l'll rewrite the fucking rule book!
-Shut up!
1486
01:04:51,930 --> 01:04:52,919
Why're you acting like Children?
1487
01:04:53,181 --> 01:04:54,421
-'Cause he started it.
-You started it.
1488
01:04:54,516 --> 01:04:55,596
You literally started it.
1489
01:04:55,683 --> 01:04:56,718
-No, you started it!
-"Oh, my knee hurts."
1490
01:04:56,810 --> 01:04:57,845
What do you think they're talking about?
1491
01:04:57,936 --> 01:04:59,051
Are we off the record?
1492
01:04:59,229 --> 01:05:00,560
REBECCA: Yeah, sure, sure.
1493
01:05:01,648 --> 01:05:02,683
No idea.
1494
01:05:02,857 --> 01:05:04,393
CHERYL: You know what?
I shouldn't have come.
1495
01:05:04,484 --> 01:05:06,099
Jerry always gets in your head.
1496
01:05:06,277 --> 01:05:07,938
Did Jerry tell you to say that?
1497
01:05:08,113 --> 01:05:09,649
You part of the whole
Truman Show of it all?
1498
01:05:09,823 --> 01:05:11,814
I mean, Jerry invited me
to the rehearsal dinner
1499
01:05:11,991 --> 01:05:14,573
because he thought it would distract
you guys, which it did.
1500
01:05:14,744 --> 01:05:18,282
But, um, lwanted to see you. So I came.
1501
01:05:18,373 --> 01:05:19,408
Sure.
1502
01:05:19,499 --> 01:05:20,488
CHERYL: Oh, my God.
1503
01:05:20,583 --> 01:05:23,950
You guys are fucking idiots.
Both of you. But I love you both.
1504
01:05:24,170 --> 01:05:26,206
I'm gonna go. Maybe I'll see you later.
Or not.
1505
01:05:26,381 --> 01:05:29,544
-Cheryl...
-Go get Jerry. He fucking deserves it.
1506
01:05:30,969 --> 01:05:32,209
Bye, Cheryl.
1507
01:05:32,971 --> 01:05:34,256
Wow!
1508
01:05:34,431 --> 01:05:35,420
What do you want?
1509
01:05:35,557 --> 01:05:38,720
There's gonna be plenty of time
to get rejected by Cheryl
1510
01:05:38,893 --> 01:05:41,555
after 12:00 am. on June 1st.
1511
01:05:41,729 --> 01:05:46,974
So what I need you guys to focus on,
is the fact that we're a team.
1512
01:05:47,152 --> 01:05:50,485
Right? We love each other,
and we love this.
1513
01:05:50,655 --> 01:05:54,568
Let's bask in that.
Stay focused on our mission. All right?
1514
01:05:54,742 --> 01:05:56,357
Let's get back on this horse and ride.
1515
01:05:56,536 --> 01:05:57,992
Let's get this asshole.
1516
01:05:58,163 --> 01:06:00,324
Lou, not part of it. Not at all.
1517
01:06:00,623 --> 01:06:01,703
Now, shake.
1518
01:06:02,792 --> 01:06:03,781
Shake!
1519
01:06:06,588 --> 01:06:09,204
All right. Now we got some work to do.
1520
01:06:21,644 --> 01:06:22,633
Got it.
1521
01:06:22,812 --> 01:06:24,643
Go get him, sweetie.
1522
01:06:25,690 --> 01:06:27,100
(BAG UNZIPPING)
1523
01:06:39,996 --> 01:06:41,111
Okay.
1524
01:06:43,041 --> 01:06:45,703
Hey, do you think we should talk
to Jerry about being an alcoholic
1525
01:06:45,877 --> 01:06:48,334
-before we get into all this?
-No.
1526
01:06:49,339 --> 01:06:50,328
(SIGHS)
1527
01:06:50,715 --> 01:06:55,300
But now, I've been Clean and sober
for almost four years.
1528
01:06:55,887 --> 01:06:59,471
Thanks to all of you
and that higher power. Amen?
1529
01:06:59,641 --> 01:07:01,757
-ALL: Amen.
-Amen.
1530
01:07:03,561 --> 01:07:05,927
Jerry, you about ready to share?
1531
01:07:06,397 --> 01:07:08,228
Come on, y'all,
let's give it up for Jerry.
1532
01:07:08,316 --> 01:07:09,522
(ALL APPLAUDING)
1533
01:07:15,907 --> 01:07:18,319
-My name is Jerry.
-ALL: Hi, Jerry.
1534
01:07:21,704 --> 01:07:26,824
JERRY: The slight scent of weed. Chilli.
He thinks he’s caught me off guard.
1535
01:07:27,418 --> 01:07:29,329
CHILLI: Oh, my God!
I’ve caught him off guard.
1536
01:07:32,799 --> 01:07:34,505
JERRY: He rushes in from behind.
1537
01:07:35,176 --> 01:07:37,462
Idiot. I give him a wake-up call.
1538
01:07:42,141 --> 01:07:43,506
(SCREAMING)
1539
01:07:43,601 --> 01:07:47,264
CHILLI: Hazelnut coffee?
What kind of bitch drinks hazelnut?
1540
01:07:49,232 --> 01:07:51,814
Holy! Chilli! Hit me!
1541
01:07:53,027 --> 01:07:54,016
Get him!
1542
01:07:54,362 --> 01:07:57,479
HOAGIE: I'm going to trap him
and tag him in the face,
1543
01:07:57,991 --> 01:08:01,575
and yet, in my heart of hearts,
pretty sure it's not gonna work.
1544
01:08:04,289 --> 01:08:07,326
JERRY: Hoagie's attempts to face me fail
because he lacks confidence.
1545
01:08:08,001 --> 01:08:10,242
Also, I think it’s fair to say,
1546
01:08:10,962 --> 01:08:14,295
I'm fucking surgical
with these complimentary donuts.
1547
01:08:18,219 --> 01:08:21,803
REBECCA: And this is why
print journalism is dying.
1548
01:08:22,974 --> 01:08:24,054
(HOAGIE GROANS)
1549
01:08:25,059 --> 01:08:28,096
BOB: Yes! This is the moment
I’ve been waiting for.
1550
01:08:28,271 --> 01:08:30,637
I 'm going to be the one who tags Jerry.
1551
01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:37,193
JERRY: Callahan will become distracted
by his own arrogant thoughts,
1552
01:08:38,948 --> 01:08:39,983
which I will exploit.
1553
01:08:40,158 --> 01:08:41,614
BOB: This will be my victory,
1554
01:08:41,701 --> 01:08:44,238
which makes sense
because success breeds success...
1555
01:08:45,163 --> 01:08:46,152
Oh, God.
1556
01:08:51,002 --> 01:08:52,492
-(CLATTERS)
-(BOB GROANS)
1557
01:08:57,550 --> 01:09:02,544
SABLE: How come "bi-weekly" means both
twice a week and every other week?
1558
01:09:02,722 --> 01:09:06,556
That's mad confusing
and it's just linguistically lazy.
1559
01:09:12,774 --> 01:09:13,763
Oh, shit!
1560
01:09:25,495 --> 01:09:27,076
-Holy shit!
-Excessive.
1561
01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:38,212
Feeling trapped, Jerry?
1562
01:09:38,716 --> 01:09:39,796
No.
1563
01:09:39,967 --> 01:09:40,956
Nice.
1564
01:09:41,052 --> 01:09:42,212
(CHAIR CLATTERS)
1565
01:09:44,180 --> 01:09:45,169
HOAGIE: Holy Shit!
1566
01:09:47,392 --> 01:09:48,381
No,no,no!
1567
01:09:49,894 --> 01:09:52,180
-No, no, no!
-(ALL GRUNT)
1568
01:09:52,313 --> 01:09:54,304
We got you, Jerry! You're trapped!
1569
01:09:54,482 --> 01:09:57,474
Five hours till your wedding!
We can wait it out if you can!
1570
01:09:58,236 --> 01:10:00,227
(WHISTLING)
1571
01:10:13,084 --> 01:10:15,917
Shit. You know what I just realized?
1572
01:10:16,087 --> 01:10:18,328
There's a lot of sacramental wine
and wafers in there.
1573
01:10:18,506 --> 01:10:19,666
He could survive for quite a while.
1574
01:10:19,841 --> 01:10:21,001
No, he can't drink.
1575
01:10:21,175 --> 01:10:23,257
-Yeah, but it's not real wine.
-Yes, it is.
1576
01:10:23,428 --> 01:10:24,884
It's just grapejuice. It's not wine.
1577
01:10:25,054 --> 01:10:28,763
I mean, lwas once so fucked up
that I took a shit in my niece's crib.
1578
01:10:29,058 --> 01:10:31,424
-Oh.
-Twice, if you ask my sister-in-law.
1579
01:10:32,353 --> 01:10:33,593
So how long you been sober?
1580
01:10:33,771 --> 01:10:35,887
Oh, no, I'm not sober.
I'm high right now.
1581
01:10:35,982 --> 01:10:37,392
I'm just here to tag my friend.
1582
01:10:37,567 --> 01:10:41,731
Good luck with the sobriety, man.
That's cool. Definitely.
1583
01:10:41,904 --> 01:10:43,815
It's awful quiet in there.
1584
01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:46,026
You know what he's doing?
It's a Classic ruse.
1585
01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:48,907
Make them think there's an exit
and he already escaped. Not buying it.
1586
01:10:49,078 --> 01:10:51,034
I buy it. I bet he has a secret door
back there.
1587
01:10:51,205 --> 01:10:53,196
Refrigerator turns into an elevator.
1588
01:10:53,291 --> 01:10:54,280
What?
1589
01:10:54,375 --> 01:10:56,536
Takes the elevator down to the basement.
That's his lair.
1590
01:10:56,627 --> 01:10:58,333
-Different outfits, computer screens.
-What are you talking about?
1591
01:10:58,421 --> 01:11:00,628
-Cameras watching us.
-He's not Batman.
1592
01:11:03,801 --> 01:11:05,132
Told you. In there.
1593
01:11:05,303 --> 01:11:06,383
What's it say?
1594
01:11:07,722 --> 01:11:10,839
-"Eat my dick."
-"Eat my dick." "Balls." "Ass"?
1595
01:11:11,017 --> 01:11:12,052
"Butt."
1596
01:11:12,143 --> 01:11:13,178
"Ice cream."
1597
01:11:13,269 --> 01:11:14,258
-What?
-What?
1598
01:11:14,437 --> 01:11:16,803
Yeah, he's taunting me.
He knows I'm lactose intolerant.
1599
01:11:16,898 --> 01:11:17,887
(DOOR OPENS)
1600
01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:20,891
What is going on? Where is he?
1601
01:11:21,694 --> 01:11:23,650
Where is he?
1602
01:11:25,031 --> 01:11:26,020
(GASPS)
1603
01:11:26,491 --> 01:11:28,072
(BREATHING HEAVlLY)
1604
01:11:29,660 --> 01:11:30,820
Jerry?
1605
01:11:30,995 --> 01:11:33,987
We're supposed to be getting
our wedding photos done in an hour.
1606
01:11:34,081 --> 01:11:35,446
What are you doing?
1607
01:11:35,625 --> 01:11:37,331
-Come on out, Jerry.
-Jerry, you can come out.
1608
01:11:37,502 --> 01:11:38,537
We're not gonna get you, Jerry.
1609
01:11:38,711 --> 01:11:40,247
JERRY: Babe, look, calm down.
Look, I'm sorry.
1610
01:11:40,421 --> 01:11:42,582
SUSAN: Shut up, Jerry.
I can't fucking take this, Jerry.
1611
01:11:42,757 --> 01:11:44,122
She can't take it. Come on out.
1612
01:11:44,300 --> 01:11:46,507
Honey, why are you playing this game
right now?
1613
01:11:46,594 --> 01:11:48,710
Why are you playing this game
with your friends right now?
1614
01:11:48,805 --> 01:11:50,761
Why is he playing this game right now?
1615
01:11:50,932 --> 01:11:52,843
JERRY: Hey, babe, look.
You gotta calm down, okay?
1616
01:11:52,934 --> 01:11:54,549
SUSAN: Listen to me! It's very hard
1617
01:11:54,727 --> 01:11:57,890
because you have decided
to ruin everything.
1618
01:11:58,064 --> 01:12:00,146
And so have you.
1619
01:12:00,316 --> 01:12:03,274
With your stupid face,
and your stupid beard,
1620
01:12:03,444 --> 01:12:05,059
and your stupid glasses,
1621
01:12:05,238 --> 01:12:07,024
and that stupid jumpsuit.
1622
01:12:07,114 --> 01:12:10,026
(SHOUTS) There's only so much
a girl can take,
1623
01:12:10,201 --> 01:12:12,908
and then you want me
on top of that, just to... (GROANING)
1624
01:12:15,706 --> 01:12:17,321
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
1625
01:12:17,500 --> 01:12:20,742
-JERRY: Babe? Suz? Sue?
-Jerry. Oh, my God.
1626
01:12:21,128 --> 01:12:22,709
-Boo? Boo-boo?
-Sue?
1627
01:12:22,880 --> 01:12:24,586
Boo-boo? Boo-boo?
1628
01:12:24,757 --> 01:12:26,167
What happened? Wait, wait, wait.
What happened?
1629
01:12:26,342 --> 01:12:27,331
Susan, are you okay?
1630
01:12:27,510 --> 01:12:29,341
-Sit down, sit down, sit down.
-lt's the baby. It's the baby.
1631
01:12:29,512 --> 01:12:31,468
It's finally happening. He's right here.
Who's it? Bob, tag him.
1632
01:12:31,639 --> 01:12:32,799
-Are you kidding me?
-What?
1633
01:12:32,974 --> 01:12:33,963
There's something wrong with her baby.
1634
01:12:34,141 --> 01:12:35,847
There's nothing wrong with that baby.
It's a fake.
1635
01:12:36,018 --> 01:12:37,508
If you won't do it, then tag me.
I'm gonna do it.
1636
01:12:37,687 --> 01:12:39,518
Oh, yeah. Fine.
You want me to tag you, then?
1637
01:12:39,689 --> 01:12:40,974
Oops, I missed.
1638
01:12:41,148 --> 01:12:42,308
As usual, you're completely wrong.
1639
01:12:42,483 --> 01:12:44,439
This? You think I'm wrong?
This is so over the top!
1640
01:12:44,610 --> 01:12:45,770
This is obvious.
1641
01:12:45,862 --> 01:12:47,693
(SUSAN GROANING)
1642
01:12:47,780 --> 01:12:49,145
Tag me, and I'll give him a hug.
1643
01:12:49,323 --> 01:12:50,654
And I'll say,
"If she's having a miscarriage,
1644
01:12:50,741 --> 01:12:52,072
"this is awful, and you're it."
1645
01:12:52,410 --> 01:12:54,196
Are you kidding me right now?
1646
01:12:54,370 --> 01:12:56,486
You know what? This feels like a scene
from What Would You Do?
1647
01:12:56,664 --> 01:12:58,996
You get put in a precarious situation,
1648
01:12:59,166 --> 01:13:01,077
and you have to make the right decision.
1649
01:13:01,252 --> 01:13:02,287
It's all actors and cameras.
1650
01:13:02,461 --> 01:13:06,170
It's not great television,
but it hooks me in.
1651
01:13:06,340 --> 01:13:07,329
CHILLI: What?
1652
01:13:07,425 --> 01:13:08,790
-JERRY: Come on.
-(SUSAN GROANS)
1653
01:13:08,968 --> 01:13:10,458
All right, we're good.
We're gonna get to the hospital.
1654
01:13:11,762 --> 01:13:15,675
Jesus. Hey! Jerry? Jerry, if you need
anything I could easily--
1655
01:13:15,766 --> 01:13:17,256
You come near her or my baby,
1656
01:13:17,435 --> 01:13:18,845
I'll crush your windpipe, Bob.
1657
01:13:20,438 --> 01:13:22,178
This ain't no fucking game.
1658
01:13:26,736 --> 01:13:27,851
Uh...
1659
01:13:27,945 --> 01:13:29,435
I'm pretty sure it's real, guys.
1660
01:13:29,614 --> 01:13:32,731
I will be so pissed
if she didn't have a miscarriage.
1661
01:13:32,909 --> 01:13:33,898
Chilli!
1662
01:13:34,327 --> 01:13:35,316
We all would be.
1663
01:13:35,494 --> 01:13:36,859
-lt's just a thing you don't...
-Say.
1664
01:13:37,038 --> 01:13:38,369
It's implied.
1665
01:13:39,916 --> 01:13:43,408
(CRASH TEST DUMMIES SINGING
"MMM MMM MMM MMM")
1666
01:13:58,643 --> 01:14:00,725
Hey, Linda. Namaste.
1667
01:14:01,771 --> 01:14:02,977
(DOOR CLOSES)
1668
01:14:03,064 --> 01:14:04,895
Shouldn't you boys be getting cleaned up
for the wedding?
1669
01:14:05,066 --> 01:14:07,227
Not you, Chilli.
You're perfect. (CHUCKLES)
1670
01:14:07,818 --> 01:14:09,228
Thanks, Linda.
1671
01:14:09,403 --> 01:14:11,359
I don't think
anybody's gonna be freshening up.
1672
01:14:14,700 --> 01:14:16,565
Hoagie, you can't go looking like that.
1673
01:14:19,914 --> 01:14:23,532
"To everyone asking,
the wedding has been postponed.
1674
01:14:23,709 --> 01:14:25,745
"Thank you for your thoughts
and prayers."
1675
01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:27,160
It's from Jerry's mom.
1676
01:14:27,505 --> 01:14:30,247
-Well, maybe we're bad people.
-Maybe?
1677
01:14:30,424 --> 01:14:32,005
Yes, I think we definitely are.
1678
01:14:32,093 --> 01:14:33,082
We might be.
1679
01:14:33,177 --> 01:14:36,635
Tag used to be a thing
that made me really happy.
1680
01:14:36,973 --> 01:14:40,261
But now, it's destroying me. I feel sad.
1681
01:14:40,434 --> 01:14:41,765
Shut the fuck up, Sable.
1682
01:14:41,936 --> 01:14:44,928
Has anyone seen
the bridesmaids' Instagram stories?
1683
01:14:45,982 --> 01:14:47,597
-CheCk it out.
-(SIGHS)
1684
01:14:48,234 --> 01:14:51,522
SABLE: "Wedding's canceled."
Sad face emoji.
1685
01:14:51,696 --> 01:14:54,312
"I can't wear the dress.
Such a pretty dress.
1686
01:14:54,490 --> 01:14:56,401
"So sad." Goodbye emoji. "Was it a..."
1687
01:14:56,575 --> 01:15:00,159
Really? Is there any chance
that all these women could post banal,
1688
01:15:00,329 --> 01:15:02,445
minute-by-minute moments from their day,
1689
01:15:02,540 --> 01:15:04,656
with mind-numbing captions
at the same time?
1690
01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:06,665
-Totally.
-Absolutely. That's all Instagram is.
1691
01:15:06,752 --> 01:15:09,118
-Yeah.
-I don't know about this, guys.
1692
01:15:09,296 --> 01:15:11,662
It doesn't feel right. I smell a rat.
1693
01:15:11,757 --> 01:15:12,792
That's what I've been saying.
1694
01:15:12,883 --> 01:15:13,872
l have been actually saying this
the whole time.
1695
01:15:14,051 --> 01:15:17,714
Hey, sweetheart, can we just move on?
It's over.
1696
01:15:17,888 --> 01:15:19,719
But it's not. Now, come on, guys.
1697
01:15:19,849 --> 01:15:21,339
I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.
1698
01:15:21,517 --> 01:15:23,007
-Bob.
-What'd I do?
1699
01:15:23,185 --> 01:15:24,265
Can I take a photograph of you?
1700
01:15:24,562 --> 01:15:25,802
No. Okay.
1701
01:15:25,896 --> 01:15:26,885
-(CAMERA CLICKS)
-Cute.
1702
01:15:27,231 --> 01:15:28,596
I'm gonna set up
an Instagram account for you.
1703
01:15:28,774 --> 01:15:29,763
Please don't.
1704
01:15:29,900 --> 01:15:32,391
Rachel Ditmus is the only bridesmaid
with a private Instagram account.
1705
01:15:32,570 --> 01:15:34,811
She's been wanting you to finger bang
her since the sixth grade.
1706
01:15:35,406 --> 01:15:38,113
If anybody's stupid enough
to fall for our request,
1707
01:15:38,200 --> 01:15:40,816
-it will be that dum-dum.
-(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
1708
01:15:40,911 --> 01:15:44,028
And sent.
All we've got to do now is wait.
1709
01:15:44,123 --> 01:15:46,284
-(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
-And accepted!
1710
01:15:46,459 --> 01:15:47,915
-Real|y?
-That was weirdly fast.
1711
01:15:48,085 --> 01:15:49,325
Do not finger bang her.
1712
01:15:49,503 --> 01:15:52,245
Oh, my God. lwas right.
1713
01:15:52,423 --> 01:15:54,539
-What? What are we looking at here?
-What the hell is this?
1714
01:15:54,717 --> 01:15:55,797
A wedding dress.
1715
01:15:55,968 --> 01:15:56,957
What the fuck?
1716
01:15:57,553 --> 01:15:58,918
They faked the fucking miscarriage!
1717
01:15:59,096 --> 01:16:01,508
No, no, no. Jerry's going down.
We're gonna destroy that wedding.
1718
01:16:01,682 --> 01:16:03,343
-CHILLI: Let's go!
-This is bullshit. That is so fucked up.
1719
01:16:03,517 --> 01:16:04,506
-Absolutely.
-(HOAGIE YELLING)
1720
01:16:07,938 --> 01:16:08,927
Hoagie?
1721
01:16:11,358 --> 01:16:12,598
Hoagie, what are you doing?
1722
01:16:12,902 --> 01:16:14,062
HOAGIE: Damn it!
1723
01:16:14,695 --> 01:16:16,105
-Sweetie.
-Hoagie?
1724
01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:17,611
Be careful.
1725
01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:20,155
Should we stop him, or...
1726
01:16:20,326 --> 01:16:22,533
I'm not getting near him.
He's swinging that bat around.
1727
01:16:24,038 --> 01:16:25,118
(HOAGIE YELLS)
1728
01:16:25,206 --> 01:16:27,197
-Sweetie, that's your mom's.
-Yeah, you're gonna hurt yourself.
1729
01:16:29,585 --> 01:16:31,200
(PANTING)
1730
01:16:31,295 --> 01:16:32,705
(YELLING)
1731
01:16:35,424 --> 01:16:40,964
We lost! He beat us! The game is over!
1732
01:16:41,097 --> 01:16:42,678
(PANTING)
1733
01:16:42,765 --> 01:16:44,380
We can't tag Jerry.
1734
01:16:44,475 --> 01:16:45,510
(STAMMERS)
1735
01:16:45,601 --> 01:16:49,514
It's just time for us to come to terms
with that. He's untouchable. That's it.
1736
01:16:49,688 --> 01:16:51,269
What do you wanna do?
You wanna just give up?
1737
01:16:51,440 --> 01:16:53,931
Yeah, Bob. lwanna give up.
It's time to give up.
1738
01:16:54,110 --> 01:16:55,691
Come on, Hogan. You're not a quitter.
1739
01:16:55,861 --> 01:16:57,192
What's the alternative?
1740
01:16:57,655 --> 01:17:00,192
We go to the wedding.
We try to tag him. We fail.
1741
01:17:00,783 --> 01:17:02,273
And we fuck up the wedding?
1742
01:17:02,368 --> 01:17:03,858
That's not a cool move.
That's a dick move.
1743
01:17:04,036 --> 01:17:05,572
That's not what friends do.
That's what assholes do.
1744
01:17:05,746 --> 01:17:08,533
Hoagie! He faked a fucking miscarriage.
1745
01:17:08,707 --> 01:17:10,789
This is a miscarriage ofjustice.
1746
01:17:11,836 --> 01:17:13,167
This is where we get him.
1747
01:17:13,337 --> 01:17:14,543
He deserves to pay for that.
1748
01:17:15,422 --> 01:17:17,754
Even if we wanted to do that,
we all signed an amendment.
1749
01:17:17,925 --> 01:17:21,167
Amendments are null and void
if you fake a miscarriage.
1750
01:17:21,345 --> 01:17:22,881
That's just basic contract law.
1751
01:17:23,055 --> 01:17:24,636
-That's law. Basic contract law.
-Law.
1752
01:17:24,807 --> 01:17:25,796
Like he said.
1753
01:17:25,975 --> 01:17:28,261
-I literally said exactly that.
-I know. We're saying it together.
1754
01:17:28,435 --> 01:17:31,768
But I was also right earlier
because I said the miscarriage was fake.
1755
01:17:31,856 --> 01:17:35,974
The amendment stands,
and maybe that's a good thing.
1756
01:17:36,610 --> 01:17:39,477
Maybe it's time to grow up a little.
1757
01:17:39,864 --> 01:17:41,775
-Uh...
-l'm going to the wedding.
1758
01:17:42,533 --> 01:17:46,947
And you guys can do what you want.
I hope you come too.
1759
01:17:47,121 --> 01:17:48,952
Chilli, just put on a tie.
1760
01:17:52,376 --> 01:17:53,411
Sweetie.
1761
01:17:57,214 --> 01:17:58,294
Do you even have a tie?
1762
01:17:58,465 --> 01:17:59,625
Yes, l have a tie.
1763
01:17:59,717 --> 01:18:01,423
-Do you need to borrow a tie?
-Yes, I need to borrow a tie.
1764
01:18:01,510 --> 01:18:02,499
Okay.
1765
01:18:08,642 --> 01:18:10,633
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)
1766
01:18:29,538 --> 01:18:31,369
(ALL CHEERING)
1767
01:18:44,595 --> 01:18:47,758
Hi! I'm so glad you made it!
1768
01:18:47,848 --> 01:18:49,088
Is that Champagne?
1769
01:18:49,183 --> 01:18:51,219
I know. Ugh.
1770
01:18:51,644 --> 01:18:53,350
I'm the girl who cried miscarriage.
1771
01:18:53,520 --> 01:18:56,853
But I had to get him out of that room
and distract you for a couple of hours
1772
01:18:57,024 --> 01:18:58,480
so that the amendment could kick in.
1773
01:18:58,651 --> 01:19:00,266
Wait. Are you even pregnant?
1774
01:19:00,361 --> 01:19:01,771
No, l was never pregnant.
1775
01:19:01,946 --> 01:19:03,061
You were never pregnant?
1776
01:19:03,155 --> 01:19:04,270
ALL: Whoa.
1777
01:19:04,365 --> 01:19:05,855
Just listen. Jerry knew
1778
01:19:06,033 --> 01:19:07,819
that you guys might get the drop on him
1779
01:19:07,993 --> 01:19:10,700
so "Operation Miscarriage"
was our fail-safe.
1780
01:19:10,871 --> 01:19:13,032
-It was an operation?
-It was actually my idea.
1781
01:19:13,249 --> 01:19:14,739
-Brilliant. Brilliant!
-Ah, thanks.
1782
01:19:14,917 --> 01:19:16,077
That's diabolical.
1783
01:19:16,252 --> 01:19:19,244
Everyone's just pissed because you won,
and they're boys.
1784
01:19:19,338 --> 01:19:22,626
They can't get pregnant,
so they can't fake a miscarriage.
1785
01:19:22,758 --> 01:19:24,168
(CHUCKLING) It's true.
1786
01:19:24,343 --> 01:19:26,550
Look, I'm not saying lwant you
to have a miscarriage.
1787
01:19:26,720 --> 01:19:27,709
Then don't.
1788
01:19:27,888 --> 01:19:31,051
'Cause that would be terrible.
But if you ever do have a miscarriage,
1789
01:19:31,225 --> 01:19:33,762
I don't wanna say that you would
deserve it 'cause that's too far,
1790
01:19:33,936 --> 01:19:36,302
but what I will say and what I do feel
1791
01:19:36,480 --> 01:19:38,436
-is that's what you get.
-(BOB GROANS)
1792
01:19:38,983 --> 01:19:42,066
Okay. It's fine.
We can all have different feelings.
1793
01:19:42,152 --> 01:19:44,814
But it's our wedding day, you guys.
Come on.
1794
01:19:44,989 --> 01:19:47,105
And we came up with this great amendment
1795
01:19:47,283 --> 01:19:51,902
so that we could all enjoy this day
together and have fun and relax.
1796
01:19:52,079 --> 01:19:53,159
Are we cool?
1797
01:19:53,872 --> 01:19:55,863
-CHILLI: Yeah, I guess so.
-Not yet. (CHUCKLES)
1798
01:19:56,250 --> 01:20:00,664
Sorry. Not cool yet.
It's just, you did murder a Child.
1799
01:20:00,754 --> 01:20:01,743
No.
1800
01:20:01,839 --> 01:20:02,874
She didn't.
No, it was a fake miscarriage.
1801
01:20:03,048 --> 01:20:05,915
Yeah, not the imaginary Child
that was inside of you,
1802
01:20:06,093 --> 01:20:09,836
but the actual inner Child
that lives inside of me
1803
01:20:10,014 --> 01:20:11,254
got decapitated.
1804
01:20:11,390 --> 01:20:15,804
Head flew up, did flips in the air,
blood Spurting everywhere.
1805
01:20:15,978 --> 01:20:19,470
Hoagie, Jerry has a perfect record,
1806
01:20:19,648 --> 01:20:21,104
and we're a team now.
1807
01:20:21,567 --> 01:20:22,682
The winning team.
1808
01:20:22,860 --> 01:20:25,602
And ljust feel like, Hoagie,
if you're gonna play
1809
01:20:25,779 --> 01:20:28,942
a Children's game as a grown man,
1810
01:20:29,116 --> 01:20:31,858
maybe, next time,
don't play like a Child.
1811
01:20:33,912 --> 01:20:37,496
Anwvays, I am really excited
you guys are here.
1812
01:20:37,666 --> 01:20:40,203
Try the raw bar. It's off the hook.
1813
01:20:40,377 --> 01:20:42,493
It's my wedding!
I'm getting married! (LAUGHS)
1814
01:20:42,671 --> 01:20:45,287
-Congratulations.
-Come on! Grab it!
1815
01:20:49,970 --> 01:20:52,837
I take back everything I said
about her being effervescent.
1816
01:20:53,599 --> 01:20:55,430
I met Jerry in AA.
1817
01:20:55,601 --> 01:20:58,513
You see, people,
I got a lot of problems.
1818
01:20:58,687 --> 01:21:03,727
Anger issues. I left my wife.
I have many kids.
1819
01:21:03,901 --> 01:21:07,143
And this man
got me to turn to the Cloth.
1820
01:21:07,321 --> 01:21:09,107
It was a low point in my life.
1821
01:21:09,281 --> 01:21:11,442
There was jail time involved.
1822
01:21:11,617 --> 01:21:13,824
I briefly converted to Islam.
1823
01:21:13,994 --> 01:21:18,237
I lost a long legal battle
with JO-Ann Fabrics.
1824
01:21:18,415 --> 01:21:21,657
During that time, I got to know
Jerry and Susan as a couple.
1825
01:21:21,835 --> 01:21:22,950
And that is a true blessing.
1826
01:21:23,128 --> 01:21:25,540
What's the difference between
Episcopalian and Lutheran?
1827
01:21:25,714 --> 01:21:28,171
Episcopalians don't eat fish.
1828
01:21:29,343 --> 01:21:33,006
That's pescatarian.
That's not a religion.
1829
01:21:33,180 --> 01:21:34,841
They're all fanatics. I don't know.
1830
01:21:35,599 --> 01:21:38,432
Remind me again, is it on the kiss
or after they walk back down the aisle?
1831
01:21:38,602 --> 01:21:41,344
Seriously?
You said you'd worked weddings before.
1832
01:21:41,522 --> 01:21:45,435
The kiss, the doves, end of ceremony.
The groom was very specific about this.
1833
01:21:45,609 --> 01:21:48,316
PASTOR: ...and finds new ways
of expressing love
1834
01:21:48,404 --> 01:21:51,271
through the ups and downs of life.
1835
01:21:51,448 --> 01:21:54,815
Susan, do you take Jerry
to be your husband?
1836
01:21:55,536 --> 01:21:57,993
Do you promise to love, honor,
Cherish and protect him,
1837
01:21:58,163 --> 01:22:02,156
forsaking all others,
holding only to him forever more?
1838
01:22:02,835 --> 01:22:03,915
I do.
1839
01:22:04,086 --> 01:22:05,075
Beautiful.
1840
01:22:05,254 --> 01:22:07,085
(WHISPERS) There's gonna be a window.
1841
01:22:07,256 --> 01:22:09,247
-What, sweetie?
-The doves.
1842
01:22:09,967 --> 01:22:11,377
What about the doves?
1843
01:22:11,593 --> 01:22:13,208
There's an opening.
1844
01:22:13,637 --> 01:22:15,377
Just relax, honey.
1845
01:22:15,973 --> 01:22:17,759
You seem stressed.
1846
01:22:19,017 --> 01:22:21,633
Jerry, do you take Susan
to be your wife?
1847
01:22:22,688 --> 01:22:25,725
Do you promise to love, honor, Cherish,
and protect her
1848
01:22:25,899 --> 01:22:30,017
forsaking all others,
holding only to her forever more?
1849
01:22:30,112 --> 01:22:31,318
I do.
1850
01:22:31,488 --> 01:22:33,274
I mean, this is actually
kind of beautiful.
1851
01:22:33,449 --> 01:22:35,280
It really is, man.
1852
01:22:35,367 --> 01:22:38,029
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
1853
01:22:39,705 --> 01:22:41,616
You may kiss the bride.
1854
01:22:41,748 --> 01:22:43,454
-(ALL CHEERING)
-I love you.
1855
01:23:08,609 --> 01:23:10,099
(ALL CHEERING)
1856
01:23:19,661 --> 01:23:20,741
(GASPS)
1857
01:23:20,829 --> 01:23:21,944
(YELLING)
1858
01:23:22,539 --> 01:23:24,450
-(SUSAN GASPS)
-(HOAGIE YELLING)
1859
01:23:26,668 --> 01:23:27,999
(ALL GASP)
1860
01:23:28,921 --> 01:23:30,286
JERRY: Hoagie!
CHILLI: Go, go, go!
1861
01:23:32,841 --> 01:23:34,126
Jesus.
1862
01:23:34,718 --> 01:23:35,707
Hey, man.
1863
01:23:36,178 --> 01:23:37,167
BOB: Buddy?
1864
01:23:37,304 --> 01:23:39,090
-You scared away the swans.
-Hoagie?
1865
01:23:40,098 --> 01:23:41,713
-Hogan? Hogan.
-JERRY: Hoagie!
1866
01:23:41,892 --> 01:23:44,224
I can't believe that you guys did this.
Right now.
1867
01:23:44,394 --> 01:23:47,557
Well, I don't think you get to claim
the moral high ground over us, actually.
1868
01:23:47,731 --> 01:23:48,811
Yeah, you're not better than us.
1869
01:23:48,982 --> 01:23:50,768
You and your wife pretended
to have a goddamn miscarriage.
1870
01:23:50,943 --> 01:23:52,683
Misunderstanding! Misunderstanding.
1871
01:23:52,861 --> 01:23:55,068
-Misunderstanding.
-In her vagina.
1872
01:23:55,489 --> 01:23:56,729
Wow. Oh, boy.
1873
01:23:56,907 --> 01:23:58,272
Guys, call a doctor!
1874
01:23:58,450 --> 01:23:59,860
-Can you hear me?
-BOB: Buddy?
1875
01:24:00,244 --> 01:24:01,905
-Hey!
-Somebody get a doctor!
1876
01:24:02,079 --> 01:24:04,445
-BOB: Bud?
-He's gone full loss of consciousness.
1877
01:24:04,623 --> 01:24:05,988
That's impressive.
1878
01:24:06,166 --> 01:24:07,906
Even better
than your performance. Right?
1879
01:24:08,001 --> 01:24:09,741
(LAUGHING) I know! It's so good!
1880
01:24:09,920 --> 01:24:11,911
Excuse me, uh, everyone...
1881
01:24:12,130 --> 01:24:13,620
Everything's fine.
1882
01:24:13,966 --> 01:24:15,547
Uh, this is all just a game.
1883
01:24:16,718 --> 01:24:18,424
(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT ON PA)
1884
01:24:18,512 --> 01:24:20,468
He's still unconscious, but he's stable.
1885
01:24:20,639 --> 01:24:23,381
He really should never have been
this active given his condition.
1886
01:24:23,559 --> 01:24:25,515
-You can see him when he wakes up.
-Thanks.
1887
01:24:27,104 --> 01:24:28,514
I got this.
1888
01:24:28,689 --> 01:24:31,305
Excuse me, Doctor. Hey, how are you?
1889
01:24:31,483 --> 01:24:34,520
-Yeah.
-Doctor, uh... Doctor Yoon, is it?
1890
01:24:34,695 --> 01:24:36,060
-Yes.
-How do you spell that?
1891
01:24:36,989 --> 01:24:39,776
-You're looking right at it.
-I know, but I'm just asking you.
1892
01:24:40,284 --> 01:24:41,569
What exactly are you asking me?
1893
01:24:41,952 --> 01:24:44,443
My friends and I do this thing.
It's this really weird game.
1894
01:24:44,913 --> 01:24:47,029
Is there any Chance this is all take,
that you could just tell me.
1895
01:24:47,207 --> 01:24:48,913
I won't tell the others.
1896
01:24:49,251 --> 01:24:50,331
Is this fake?
1897
01:24:50,586 --> 01:24:52,827
-This hospital?
-The whole thing, yeah. Is it fake?
1898
01:24:53,005 --> 01:24:54,290
That's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.
1899
01:24:54,381 --> 01:24:56,042
(LAUGHS) He told you to say that, right?
1900
01:24:56,216 --> 01:24:58,832
-Look, I gotta prep a surgery.
-Will you just do me one quick favor?
1901
01:24:59,011 --> 01:25:01,093
Could you recite
the Hippocratic Oath for me?
1902
01:25:01,263 --> 01:25:02,878
That's not a thing doctors memorize.
1903
01:25:05,809 --> 01:25:07,390
Still unsure.
1904
01:25:08,061 --> 01:25:09,642
It's gonna be fine.
It's just, it was a lot.
1905
01:25:09,813 --> 01:25:11,223
I mean, how does that all happen
at a wedding?
1906
01:25:12,316 --> 01:25:13,305
Hey, boss.
1907
01:25:14,026 --> 01:25:15,015
How did that go?
1908
01:25:15,193 --> 01:25:16,478
I'm all turned around.
1909
01:25:16,653 --> 01:25:17,642
About What?
1910
01:25:18,530 --> 01:25:20,066
If he's an actor or if he's not.
1911
01:25:20,240 --> 01:25:23,357
He's not. He's a doctor.
We're in a hospital.
1912
01:25:24,828 --> 01:25:27,114
You're drinking the KOOI-Aid.
1913
01:25:31,501 --> 01:25:32,616
(BOB SIGHS)
1914
01:25:33,962 --> 01:25:36,203
All right. What do we do?
1915
01:25:36,381 --> 01:25:38,838
Look, Chilli, what's wrong with you?
Just go talk to the girl.
1916
01:25:39,009 --> 01:25:39,998
Could be a trap.
1917
01:25:40,093 --> 01:25:42,630
She's here for a friend
who is in the hospital. Okay?
1918
01:25:43,388 --> 01:25:44,878
You know I'm right. I'm always right.
1919
01:25:45,057 --> 01:25:47,890
Okay, you're right about this,
but you are not always right.
1920
01:25:48,060 --> 01:25:49,345
Buddy, I'm always right,
and you know it's true.
1921
01:25:49,436 --> 01:25:50,425
Bob, you're not always right.
1922
01:25:50,520 --> 01:25:51,885
-100%...
-1989.
1923
01:25:52,272 --> 01:25:53,261
Oh, come on.
1924
01:25:53,440 --> 01:25:55,476
Ken Griffey Jr. enters the league,
and what do you say?
1925
01:25:55,776 --> 01:25:57,016
"He will never be
as good as his father."
1926
01:25:57,194 --> 01:25:58,400
And he's better than his father.
1927
01:25:58,570 --> 01:26:00,777
-Where are the rings?
-You are so wrong!
1928
01:26:00,947 --> 01:26:03,484
The historical record
has proven that I am right.
1929
01:26:03,659 --> 01:26:05,866
You know what? Time will tell.
1930
01:26:05,952 --> 01:26:08,739
You will never admit
that you are wrong about anything.
1931
01:26:08,914 --> 01:26:10,154
I'm not wrong.
1932
01:26:10,332 --> 01:26:12,243
Come on, it's been a while
since we've done this.
1933
01:26:12,417 --> 01:26:13,452
Come here, man.
1934
01:26:14,461 --> 01:26:15,826
This was a fun few days, man.
1935
01:26:16,004 --> 01:26:17,369
-I really missed you.
-I missed you too, man.
1936
01:26:18,256 --> 01:26:20,372
-You want a breath mint?
-No, I don't want a breath mint.
1937
01:26:20,550 --> 01:26:21,756
-Stop it.
-You want a breath mint?
1938
01:26:21,843 --> 01:26:24,801
I would love a breath mint.
I got a gross taste in my mouth.
1939
01:26:31,687 --> 01:26:33,052
Hey, mind if I sit?
1940
01:26:33,230 --> 01:26:34,219
CHERYL: No.
1941
01:26:35,524 --> 01:26:36,764
(SIGHS)
1942
01:26:36,858 --> 01:26:37,847
Thanks for coming.
1943
01:26:38,402 --> 01:26:40,939
-I hope he's okay.
-Yeah, me too.
1944
01:26:44,783 --> 01:26:45,989
Um...
1945
01:26:47,786 --> 01:26:48,821
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
1946
01:26:52,541 --> 01:26:55,874
I don't know if that...
We're in a hospital and...
1947
01:26:56,044 --> 01:26:57,409
-You know?
-Yes.
1948
01:26:57,587 --> 01:27:00,294
My friend is possibly dying.
1949
01:27:00,465 --> 01:27:04,299
But it feels like a time I need
to tell you how I feel about you,
1950
01:27:04,594 --> 01:27:07,301
and lam so pumped
that your husband's dead.
1951
01:27:09,850 --> 01:27:12,432
But I'm really happy to see you, Cheryl.
1952
01:27:14,187 --> 01:27:17,395
You are broke and divorced
1953
01:27:17,566 --> 01:27:19,932
-and just a fucking mess, really.
-Yeah.
1954
01:27:20,110 --> 01:27:21,350
But it's fun to see you, too.
1955
01:27:21,528 --> 01:27:23,564
Good. All right. I'll take that.
1956
01:27:23,739 --> 01:27:26,981
I actually think that...
1957
01:27:27,159 --> 01:27:30,071
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I would see you again.
1958
01:27:30,996 --> 01:27:32,861
-For real?
-Yeah.
1959
01:27:33,039 --> 01:27:35,075
-Like a little date.
-No, definitely didn't say that.
1960
01:27:35,250 --> 01:27:37,286
-Like a dinner.
-Smaller than that.
1961
01:27:37,669 --> 01:27:39,580
-Like a lunch.
-How about a snack?
1962
01:27:40,756 --> 01:27:42,712
I'll take what I can get.
1963
01:27:43,008 --> 01:27:46,000
Hoagie, I know you’re fucking with me.
1964
01:27:46,845 --> 01:27:52,590
I'm not. I've got a tumor on my liver
the size of my right nut.
1965
01:27:54,770 --> 01:27:56,385
Jesus.
1966
01:27:56,980 --> 01:27:57,969
Yeah.
1967
01:27:58,148 --> 01:28:00,855
I know you're fucking with him,
but what are you doing? What's the plan?
1968
01:28:01,026 --> 01:28:03,517
-Tell us what's going on.
-Chi|li, there's no plan.
1969
01:28:03,695 --> 01:28:04,901
What's going on?
1970
01:28:05,071 --> 01:28:06,607
There's no plan, Chilli.
1971
01:28:06,990 --> 01:28:08,196
Stop winking at me.
1972
01:28:08,366 --> 01:28:10,072
Think it's real.
This looks like it's doing something.
1973
01:28:10,243 --> 01:28:12,780
Something real is happening
on this thing right here.
1974
01:28:12,871 --> 01:28:14,156
How long have you known this?
1975
01:28:14,331 --> 01:28:15,571
ANNA: For three weeks.
1976
01:28:15,749 --> 01:28:17,080
JERRY: Three weeks.
1977
01:28:17,250 --> 01:28:20,617
Right nut.
Too specific, I call bullshit.
1978
01:28:20,796 --> 01:28:22,286
That's a lie. Right? It’s a lie.
1979
01:28:22,464 --> 01:28:23,453
I'm not lying.
1980
01:28:24,090 --> 01:28:26,923
Although I did lie about one thing.
1981
01:28:27,719 --> 01:28:29,710
Jerry's not quitting
at the end of the season.
1982
01:28:29,888 --> 01:28:31,424
JERRY: What? Why the fuck would I quit?
1983
01:28:31,598 --> 01:28:33,054
Yeah, ljust... I said that
1984
01:28:33,225 --> 01:28:36,183
to get everyone together,
you know, for one last round.
1985
01:28:36,353 --> 01:28:39,186
Hoagie, tell me you are fucking joking
about this.
1986
01:28:39,356 --> 01:28:40,596
Uh, no.
1987
01:28:41,608 --> 01:28:47,820
There is a decent chance
I will not be around for next season.
1988
01:28:56,665 --> 01:28:57,654
Damn.
1989
01:29:00,085 --> 01:29:02,292
BOB: And, I mean, plus,
even if you were, you'd be,
1990
01:29:03,547 --> 01:29:05,663
you know. Really slow.
1991
01:29:05,757 --> 01:29:07,588
-(ANNA CHUCKLES)
-A total sitting duck.
1992
01:29:07,676 --> 01:29:10,463
Carrying like an IV bag around,
that's easy.
1993
01:29:10,554 --> 01:29:11,839
I had an uncle that went through Chemo,
1994
01:29:11,930 --> 01:29:13,841
and afterwards,
he was terrible at games.
1995
01:29:14,266 --> 01:29:17,008
But I guess that makes sense.
It would be weird if he got better.
1996
01:29:18,186 --> 01:29:19,676
Then everybody would be getting Chemo.
1997
01:29:19,771 --> 01:29:21,181
(ALL CHUCKLE)
1998
01:29:22,607 --> 01:29:24,347
I love you guys.
1999
01:29:25,902 --> 01:29:28,484
I love... I love this game. You know?
2000
01:29:29,197 --> 01:29:32,781
I don't know what it is.
ltjust brings out the best in us.
2001
01:29:34,536 --> 01:29:35,946
Except today.
2002
01:29:36,288 --> 01:29:38,950
Today, I don't know.
2003
01:29:39,749 --> 01:29:44,209
I really fucked up your wedding, Jerry,
and I am super sorry.
2004
01:29:44,296 --> 01:29:45,331
(CALL DISCONNECTS)
2005
01:29:45,422 --> 01:29:46,411
Jerry?
2006
01:29:47,090 --> 01:29:49,832
-Has he hung up?
-Jerry?
2007
01:29:54,639 --> 01:29:57,722
You didn't fuck up my wedding, Hoagie.
Come on.
2008
01:29:59,644 --> 01:30:01,350
-Right?
-NO.
2009
01:30:01,438 --> 01:30:02,848
You might have
ruined a moment. (CHUCKLES)
2010
01:30:03,940 --> 01:30:06,727
I screwed it up.
You should've been up there with me.
2011
01:30:06,902 --> 01:30:07,891
All you boys should've.
2012
01:30:08,945 --> 01:30:09,934
That's my fault.
2013
01:30:10,530 --> 01:30:14,148
I always thought that you guys were just
much Closer to each other than to me...
2014
01:30:14,242 --> 01:30:15,231
What?
2015
01:30:15,619 --> 01:30:17,575
I mean, if it seems like we were Closer,
2016
01:30:17,662 --> 01:30:20,244
it's only because
we're physically Closer
2017
01:30:20,415 --> 01:30:21,655
because you always ran away.
2018
01:30:21,833 --> 01:30:23,323
Successfully. You know, I mean,
2019
01:30:23,501 --> 01:30:25,492
not for nothing, you might actually be
2020
01:30:25,587 --> 01:30:27,703
the very best person at this game
on the planet.
2021
01:30:28,089 --> 01:30:29,704
He might be, right?
2022
01:30:30,216 --> 01:30:32,081
Yeah, you're really good at tag.
2023
01:30:33,053 --> 01:30:35,840
Yes, but you've kind of missed
the point.
2024
01:30:36,014 --> 01:30:39,177
I mean, it's not about trying
to get away from each other.
2025
01:30:39,267 --> 01:30:44,261
It's actually about having a reason
to be around each other. You know?
2026
01:30:44,439 --> 01:30:45,599
Yeah.
2027
01:30:45,982 --> 01:30:47,893
I mean, Ben Franklin said it best.
Am I right?
2028
01:30:48,068 --> 01:30:50,650
"We don't stop playing
'cause we grow old..."
2029
01:30:50,737 --> 01:30:52,273
ALL: "We grow old
because we stop playing."
2030
01:30:52,364 --> 01:30:55,276
I've been wanting to say for a few years
that quote is not Benjamin Franklin.
2031
01:30:55,367 --> 01:30:57,358
That is German anthropologist,
Karl Groos.
2032
01:30:57,452 --> 01:30:59,443
-La, la, la, la, la...
-Why are you ruining the moment?
2033
01:30:59,621 --> 01:31:00,701
-I just don't even want to know.
-He's in the hospital.
2034
01:31:00,789 --> 01:31:02,745
-It felt like the right moment.
-lt's not the right moment, so...
2035
01:31:02,832 --> 01:31:03,867
SABLE: It is the right moment.
CHILLI: It isn't.
2036
01:31:04,042 --> 01:31:05,077
So, Jerry, uh...
2037
01:31:09,005 --> 01:31:10,290
lt's 11:55.
2038
01:31:10,465 --> 01:31:13,081
Get in here, and let me tag you.
2039
01:31:17,514 --> 01:31:19,345
You know, I've been so attached,
Isuppose,
2040
01:31:19,432 --> 01:31:21,093
to my perfect record all these years,
2041
01:31:21,184 --> 01:31:22,970
dominating you fools.
2042
01:31:23,144 --> 01:31:25,931
Maybe I should. Maybe I shouldn't.
2043
01:31:26,106 --> 01:31:29,064
If you think about it,
Jerry is a tag virgin.
2044
01:31:29,401 --> 01:31:30,436
Or Champion.
2045
01:31:30,527 --> 01:31:32,563
Just let us deflower you.
2046
01:31:32,737 --> 01:31:34,068
We'll be gentle.
2047
01:31:34,572 --> 01:31:36,153
(CHUCKLES) I can't.
2048
01:31:38,034 --> 01:31:39,023
Come on.
2049
01:31:39,119 --> 01:31:40,609
(CHUCKUNG)
2050
01:31:40,704 --> 01:31:41,693
I can't do it.
2051
01:31:41,788 --> 01:31:45,622
Then I'm not gonna tag anybody,
and the game ends with me.
2052
01:31:45,709 --> 01:31:46,994
-(AN NA GASPS)
-That's dark.
2053
01:31:47,085 --> 01:31:49,451
Or you just let me tag you.
2054
01:31:51,840 --> 01:31:53,501
All right, fuck it.
2055
01:31:56,386 --> 01:31:58,217
(ALL CHEERING)
2056
01:32:00,015 --> 01:32:01,004
_|tl
-Oh I
, my God!
2057
01:32:01,099 --> 01:32:02,305
Loser! Loser!
2058
01:32:02,392 --> 01:32:03,677
BOB: You suck!
2059
01:32:04,644 --> 01:32:05,633
CHILLI: Awesome.
2060
01:32:07,105 --> 01:32:09,721
-Yes!
-You officially suck.
2061
01:32:09,816 --> 01:32:10,896
Oh, you're so it!
2062
01:32:11,067 --> 01:32:13,228
Goddamn! All right!
2063
01:32:15,488 --> 01:32:16,728
I love you guys.
2064
01:32:17,741 --> 01:32:18,947
Love you too, man.
2065
01:32:19,576 --> 01:32:20,986
(LAUGHING)
2066
01:32:22,996 --> 01:32:26,614
You know we got five minutes
left of May.
2067
01:32:27,292 --> 01:32:29,374
I ain't gonna be last it. Bitches!
2068
01:32:30,295 --> 01:32:32,377
(UPBEAT HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
2069
01:32:48,646 --> 01:32:49,977
JERRY: Look, Bob!
Where are you gonna go, Bob?
2070
01:32:50,148 --> 01:32:51,137
No!
2071
01:32:57,072 --> 01:32:59,563
Verbal amendment?
That women should be playing.
2072
01:33:01,034 --> 01:33:03,195
-Amendment.
-Yeah, amendment.
2073
01:33:04,454 --> 01:33:05,443
Oh.
2074
01:33:05,538 --> 01:33:07,529
Oh, you just made a big mistake.
2075
01:33:09,292 --> 01:33:11,908
-You're it, bitch!
-You're it now!
2076
01:33:12,087 --> 01:33:13,293
-You're going down!
-You're too intense!
2077
01:33:13,463 --> 01:33:15,328
You're gonna suck my tiny ginger balls.
2078
01:33:15,507 --> 01:33:16,838
Oh! Gross!
2079
01:33:17,008 --> 01:33:19,374
You're gross! (YELLS)
2080
01:33:29,020 --> 01:33:30,476
Come on! Shit! No.
2081
01:33:33,983 --> 01:33:35,393
(PANTING)
2082
01:33:36,152 --> 01:33:37,813
-You're it.
-No, I can't get involved in the story.
2083
01:33:37,904 --> 01:33:38,984
We made an amendment!
2084
01:33:39,072 --> 01:33:41,939
Come on, it's a little bit fun, right?
You have about three minutes.
2085
01:33:55,588 --> 01:33:58,705
Sable! Come on.
Where are your ethics, buddy?
2086
01:33:59,884 --> 01:34:01,670
Come on. Just reach out.
2087
01:34:01,845 --> 01:34:02,834
SUSAN: No!
JERRY: You got it.
2088
01:34:02,929 --> 01:34:03,964
(G ROANS)
2089
01:34:04,347 --> 01:34:05,336
Oh, shit, hang on a second.
2090
01:34:05,515 --> 01:34:06,721
You okay?
2091
01:34:06,891 --> 01:34:08,472
-You all right?
-Yeah.
2092
01:34:08,560 --> 01:34:10,016
(ALL EXCLAIM)
2093
01:34:10,478 --> 01:34:11,593
SUSAN: You're it!
2094
01:34:48,766 --> 01:34:50,722
-Tag, brother!
-(BOTH LAUGHING)
2095
01:34:52,937 --> 01:34:54,973
-You're it!
-(LAUGHTER)
2096
01:34:55,148 --> 01:34:56,934
-CAMERAMAN: I'm it?
-You're it?
2097
01:34:57,859 --> 01:34:59,144
CAMERAMAN: Now you're it.
2098
01:34:59,319 --> 01:35:01,685
You got me. NO way!
2099
01:35:01,779 --> 01:35:03,360
(INAUDIBLE)
2100
01:35:04,115 --> 01:35:06,606
-Not bad, huh? Pretty hot?
-CAMERAMAN: Wow.
2101
01:35:09,662 --> 01:35:10,742
(G ROWLS)
2102
01:35:10,830 --> 01:35:12,195
(LAUGHING)
2103
01:35:17,086 --> 01:35:19,122
-You're it!
-(SCREAMING)
2104
01:35:21,966 --> 01:35:23,251
Yeah, baby.
2105
01:35:25,094 --> 01:35:27,631
-CAMERAMAN: Hey, fucker. You're it!
-(BOTH LAUGHING)
2106
01:35:29,641 --> 01:35:31,381
You're it! Yeah!
2107
01:35:32,644 --> 01:35:34,054
You're it, baby!
2108
01:35:34,145 --> 01:35:35,225
(LAUGHS)
2109
01:37:11,951 --> 01:37:15,910
("MMM MMM MMM MMM" PLAYING)
2110
01:37:31,763 --> 01:37:36,848
(SINGING) Once, there was a kid who
2111
01:37:37,018 --> 01:37:41,512
Got into an accident
and couldn’t come to school
2112
01:37:41,689 --> 01:37:47,434
But when he finally came back
2113
01:37:47,612 --> 01:37:54,324
His hair turned
from black into bright white
2114
01:37:56,537 --> 01:37:59,950
He said that it was from when the cars
2115
01:38:00,124 --> 01:38:05,335
Had smashed him so hard
2116
01:38:06,214 --> 01:38:11,299
ALL: Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
2117
01:38:11,427 --> 01:38:16,387
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
2118
01:38:16,849 --> 01:38:21,718
Once, there was this girl who
2119
01:38:21,896 --> 01:38:26,936
Wouldn't go and change
with the girls in the change room
2120
01:38:27,110 --> 01:38:32,355
-But when they finally made her
-(VOCALIZING COMICALLY)
2121
01:38:32,532 --> 01:38:38,903
They saw red marks all over her body
2122
01:38:41,332 --> 01:38:44,244
She couldn’t quite explain it
2123
01:38:44,419 --> 01:38:50,585
They'd always just been there
2124
01:38:50,967 --> 01:38:53,674
-Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
-Baa, baa, baa, baa
2125
01:38:53,761 --> 01:38:56,548
-Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
-Baa, baa, baa, baa
2126
01:38:56,681 --> 01:38:59,639
Ooh
2127
01:38:59,725 --> 01:39:01,340
Yeah
2128
01:39:01,769 --> 01:39:06,559
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey
2129
01:39:06,649 --> 01:39:11,359
Mmm, mmm
2130
01:39:12,655 --> 01:39:17,240
Both the girl and the boy were glad
2131
01:39:17,994 --> 01:39:23,364
’Cause one kid had it worse than that
2132
01:39:28,004 --> 01:39:32,998
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
2133
01:39:33,092 --> 01:39:38,052
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
2134
01:39:38,556 --> 01:39:40,922
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
2135
01:39:41,017 --> 01:39:45,181
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey
2136
01:39:48,983 --> 01:39:54,148
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
2137
01:39:54,322 --> 01:39:59,191
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
2138
01:40:21,849 --> 01:40:22,838
English - SDH
159483
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