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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:00,774 [Diane] This is how it started. 2 00:01:00,851 --> 00:01:03,104 Four best friends and a book. 3 00:01:03,729 --> 00:01:06,073 Vivian was the one who had the idea. 4 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:07,775 She'd seen it in a magazine, 5 00:01:07,858 --> 00:01:09,701 and it was that very first book 6 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,620 that gave her a lifelong philosophy. 7 00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:14,825 [man] You know what I find sexiest about you? 8 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:16,617 Do tell. 9 00:01:16,659 --> 00:01:18,037 You don't need me. 10 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,542 [Vivian] I don't need anyone. 11 00:01:19,620 --> 00:01:22,465 It's the secret to my success. 12 00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,588 [Diane] And successful she was. 13 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,587 The hotel we were standing in front of... [scoffs] 14 00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:28,670 she owns. 15 00:01:28,713 --> 00:01:29,966 And ten years later, 16 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:32,266 she tore it down and built a new one. 17 00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,390 [desk clerk] Good morning, Miss O'Donnell. 18 00:01:35,469 --> 00:01:37,722 [chattering] 19 00:01:38,180 --> 00:01:39,353 Uh-huh. 20 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,069 Yeah, I'll call you back. 21 00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:44,737 [men chattering] 22 00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:47,650 Slim? 23 00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,109 [Diane] This is Arthur. 24 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:52,370 The first time they had sex was on a mix board. 25 00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:54,323 They were madly in love. 26 00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:55,531 He proposed. 27 00:01:55,948 --> 00:01:57,325 She said no. 28 00:01:57,408 --> 00:01:58,501 He left town. 29 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,754 [gasps] My, 0h, my. 30 00:02:01,829 --> 00:02:02,876 Arthur Riley. 31 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,879 What's it been, 40 years? 32 00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:08,469 That's impossible. That would mean I was only six. 33 00:02:08,544 --> 00:02:10,421 - Still a wiseass, huh? - [chuckles] Yeah. 34 00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,804 Old habits die hard. 35 00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:15,264 I got to get back to this meeting, but, uh, 36 00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:16,971 are you going to be in town for a while? 37 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:19,306 I would hope so. I do live here. 38 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:20,686 I'll find you. 39 00:02:21,223 --> 00:02:22,600 It's good to see you, Slim. 40 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:26,987 [Diane] Now, Sharon was Vivian's roommate 41 00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:28,610 as an undergrad at Stanford. 42 00:02:28,939 --> 00:02:30,783 - Then she went to law school. - [gavel bangs] 43 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:34,246 Of the 301 people in her graduating class, 44 00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:35,956 62 were women. 45 00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:39,159 Of the 62, one became a federal judge. 46 00:02:45,873 --> 00:02:47,341 He's on the phone now? 47 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,312 Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to take 48 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,009 a five-minute recess. 49 00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:52,384 All rise. 50 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:56,014 This court will stand in recess for five minutes. 51 00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:59,889 No, no, no. You're never interrupting. 52 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:01,223 How is Hawaii? 53 00:03:02,014 --> 00:03:04,688 You got en... engaged? 54 00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:07,066 Why? I mean, wow! 55 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,522 I didn't mean "why," I meant "wow." Wow. 56 00:03:10,856 --> 00:03:13,826 Well, if I sound judgmental, that... 57 00:03:13,901 --> 00:03:15,074 That's a professional hazard. 58 00:03:15,611 --> 00:03:16,989 Who's Cheryl? 59 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,495 [inhales] Oh, I didn't know your father was seeing someone. 60 00:03:22,576 --> 00:03:24,295 Good for him. 61 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,247 And you. Good for both... 62 00:03:26,330 --> 00:03:28,628 Congratulations all around. Yeah. 63 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,336 [Diane] In 1985, Sharon married Tom 64 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:32,888 because he made her laugh. 65 00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:35,591 By 1999, she was no longer laughing. 66 00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,893 And the final straw came when Tom asked her 67 00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:39,765 "what “Don Quix-ote" was about. 68 00:03:40,302 --> 00:03:42,271 The marriage ended and Sharon bought a cat. 69 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:43,894 [cat meows] 70 00:03:43,973 --> 00:03:46,102 [Diane] Carol put herself through culinary school, 71 00:03:46,183 --> 00:03:48,231 working as a waitress at a diner. 72 00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:52,691 She had two goals in life: 73 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:56,819 One, to own and operate her own restaurant, 74 00:03:56,902 --> 00:04:01,329 and two, to marry the man of her dreams, Bruce Colby. 75 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,034 Since the moment they met, 76 00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:05,836 they've not been able to keep their hands off each other. 77 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,164 Ooh! - Happy anniversary. 78 00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:10,876 Happy anniversary. 79 00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,004 [Carol] Dance lessons! 80 00:04:14,086 --> 00:04:15,680 - Oh. - Yep. 81 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,132 - Wow. - Yes. 82 00:04:17,214 --> 00:04:19,343 Because the No Kid Hungry fundraiser 83 00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:22,646 is a talent show this year and I signed us up. 84 00:04:23,305 --> 00:04:25,148 - To be in the talent show? - Yes! 85 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,350 I thought it was something fun we could do together 86 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,810 now that you're retired. 87 00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:31,317 Now this is gorgeous! 88 00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:35,615 - Oh! - Eargasms! 89 00:04:36,233 --> 00:04:37,735 Yeah, I got us both a pair. 90 00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:41,247 Multiple Eargasms. Who does not love that? 91 00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:45,372 Well, no, it's so you can watch TV in bed without disturbing me, 92 00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:47,704 and my snoring won't keep you awake. 93 00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:50,461 - Huh? - That's very thoughtful. 94 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,923 What do you say we get home and... 95 00:04:55,002 --> 00:04:56,971 - I say yes. - Yay. 96 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:59,391 [Bruce snores] 97 00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,427 [snores louder] 98 00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:03,766 [Diane] And then, there's me. 99 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:06,189 I didn't know what my path was going to be, 100 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:08,687 and then it hit me, with a wave of nausea. 101 00:05:09,141 --> 00:05:11,610 Because of this guy, Harry Whittaker. 102 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,901 We got married, and I became a... 103 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,447 [women] Mom! {Diane} What? 104 00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:16,821 [woman] Stop already. 105 00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:20,245 What? No! I just need to clear the caulk. 106 00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:22,822 - Clear the caulk? - Yes. 107 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,785 There's a cute little ladybug trying to get out the window. 108 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,461 Okay, someone's been watching way too much HGTV. 109 00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:30,790 - Huh? - Mom, put the screwdriver down. 110 00:05:31,288 --> 00:05:32,288 What? 111 00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:33,675 - Mom. - Uh-huh? 112 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:34,922 - We've been talking. - Yes? 113 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,002 We want to move you to Arizona. 114 00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:39,761 Move me? Oh, my God. What am I, cattle? 115 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,058 [Diane] These are our two daughters. 116 00:05:42,132 --> 00:05:46,103 Harry is an accountant. Well, he was an accountant. 117 00:05:46,428 --> 00:05:48,430 Your house is falling apart, 118 00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:50,187 and you don't have Dad to fix it. 119 00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:52,519 I know, but, my friends, they live here. 120 00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:55,485 And your family lives there. 121 00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,191 We just want you close t0 us, Mom. 122 00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:58,196 No, but... 123 00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:01,245 - Feel it out for the weekend. - If not for you, for us, please. 124 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:03,447 - It's what Dad would've wanted. - All right. 125 00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:05,624 [Diane] Well, it's been over 40 years 126 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:09,545 and through it all, every month, we still get together for... 127 00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:12,004 [wine cork pops] 128 00:06:12,079 --> 00:06:14,548 Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Arthur as in Arthur? 129 00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:16,877 Wait a minute. Are you talking about... 130 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:19,930 - radio-station-sex Arthur? - Yes! 131 00:06:20,004 --> 00:06:21,757 Proposed-with-a-milkshake Arthur. 132 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:24,684 That Arthur. And he's staying at the hotel. 133 00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:26,726 Does he not hate you, though? He's got to. 134 00:06:26,802 --> 00:06:28,646 (No. Thai was M) years aged.! 135 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:31,019 Yeah, but still. Oh! There she is. 136 00:06:33,225 --> 00:06:36,024 My son is engaged and my husband is in Maui 137 00:06:36,103 --> 00:06:38,231 with a tartlet named Cheryl. 138 00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:39,191 [Diane] Oh... 139 00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:40,617 I need a drink. 140 00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,319 Your "husband"? 141 00:06:42,401 --> 00:06:45,154 You can't possibly still care about what Tom is doing. 142 00:06:45,237 --> 00:06:46,615 I don't care. 143 00:06:46,697 --> 00:06:48,665 But the guy gets seasick in a swimming pool. 144 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,619 I mean, what the hell is he doing in Maui? 145 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,497 Sounds like he's doing Cheryl in Maui. 146 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,048 Oh, please. 147 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:57,834 Who gets involved in a relationship at 67? 148 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,420 I mean, what is the point? 149 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:02,425 The point is to get laid. It's always the point. 150 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:06,475 - Don't make me sick. - Who still says "get laid“?" 151 00:07:06,550 --> 00:07:08,019 Who still has any interest? 152 00:07:08,093 --> 00:07:10,973 No, no, no. I am not gonna let us become those people. 153 00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:13,353 - What people... - You know what people. 154 00:07:13,432 --> 00:07:16,026 The people who stop living before they stop living. 155 00:07:16,101 --> 00:07:17,978 I haven't had sex since my divorce 156 00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:20,737 and it's been the happiest 18 years of my life. 157 00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:24,615 [gasps] That must be some kind of record. 158 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:28,119 I mean, what even happens to a vagina after 18 years? 159 00:07:28,197 --> 00:07:30,667 I think Werner Herzog did a documentary on that. 160 00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:33,461 Yeah. It's called The Cave of Forgotten Dreams. 161 00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:35,879 Okay! Will you stop it? 162 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,209 Moving on. Let's talk about the book. 163 00:07:38,290 --> 00:07:40,543 Oh, God. The hiking book? Really? 164 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,675 Come on! I liked it! 165 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:46,178 It's such a remarkable undertaking. Can you imagine? 166 00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:50,057 No, I cannot. I don't even like walking to my mailbox. 167 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,433 It's just an amazing story. 168 00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:55,233 So many layers. I wouldn't even know how to break it down. 169 00:07:55,307 --> 00:07:56,685 I'll break it down for you. 170 00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,610 She hikes, she lost her boot, she did heroin. 171 00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:00,189 Did you only read the back cover? 172 00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:01,523 [Vivian gulps] I wish. 173 00:08:01,605 --> 00:08:03,403 I kept wanting to shout at her, 174 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,406 "Oh, wait ten years, honey. Dry shampoo is coming." 175 00:08:06,485 --> 00:08:08,487 If you would ever connect with something 176 00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,117 on a more emotional level... 177 00:08:10,197 --> 00:08:12,541 Emotional connection is highly overrated. 178 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:15,961 You have not had an emotional connection for 4O years. 179 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,586 Wow, that must be some type of record. 180 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,793 Yeah, but what happens to emotions after 4O years? 181 00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:23,298 Okay, okay, are you guys having fun? 182 00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:26,096 Oh, come on. You know we love you. 183 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,845 Maybe it's time you did take a hike 184 00:08:27,923 --> 00:08:30,018 and try to reconnect with your own true self. 185 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:31,435 I'll buy you a backpack. 186 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,230 I'll tell you how to reconnect with your own true self, 187 00:08:34,304 --> 00:08:36,649 and it ain't by walking alone through the desert. 188 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:41,738 I would like to introduce you to Christian Grey. 189 00:08:42,062 --> 00:08:43,110 Oh... 190 00:08:43,605 --> 00:08:44,697 Oh, no. 191 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,775 [Vivian] It was a bestseller made into a movie. 192 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,033 - That is our theme this year. - Oh, wow. 193 00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:50,864 We are not reading this. 194 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,072 [Vivian] It's my month! 195 00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:53,955 When it's your month, you can choose whatever 196 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,626 boring, depressing book you want. 197 00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:58,205 I'm not sure this qualifies as a book. 198 00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,130 Well, 50 million people can't be wrong. 199 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:03,085 To... To even be holding this book is embarrassing. 200 00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,885 Who's judging you, your cat? 201 00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:07,429 I do like the idea of a romance. 202 00:09:07,504 --> 00:09:09,599 We are too old! 203 00:09:09,673 --> 00:09:12,427 [Carol] But it says right here "for mature audiences.“" 204 00:09:12,509 --> 00:09:14,307 Yeah, that certainly sounds like us. 205 00:09:14,386 --> 00:09:18,392 We started this book club to stimulate our minds. 206 00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:21,729 Well, from what I hear, this book is quite stimulating. 207 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:22,811 Oh, God. 208 00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:25,072 So... come on! 209 00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,525 - Let's toast to our new book. - [Carol] All right. 210 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,610 - Oh, good. - Drink up. Hoist that glass. 211 00:09:29,693 --> 00:09:31,991 - [Carol] Yeah. - Happy reading, ladies! 212 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:36,746 [whispers] Oh... 213 00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:39,040 [grunts] Oh, God. 214 00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,123 [sighs] Okay. 215 00:09:49,004 --> 00:09:50,347 Oh, my... [groans] 216 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:51,765 [groans] Oh, I didn't... 217 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,842 I'm really so terribly... 218 00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,644 I'm so sorry. 219 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,687 'Can 'can. 220 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:58,764 [Diane laughs softly] 221 00:09:58,847 --> 00:10:01,067 - You need some help? - I'm sorry. No, I'm fine. 222 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:03,440 I really didn't mean to disturb you. 223 00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:05,272 - Too late. - I know, I know. 224 00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:08,321 Wow. [Exhales] 225 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,322 It's... This is so humiliating. 226 00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:12,488 [sighs] 227 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:13,741 - Are you okay? - I'm... 228 00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:15,995 - I'm really scared of flying. - You shouldn't be. 229 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:19,878 Oh, yeah, well, I won't be once these... 230 00:10:20,702 --> 00:10:22,455 kick into my bloodstream. 231 00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:24,041 The safest way to travel. 232 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,751 - Want to know why you think that? - Why? 233 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:30,088 Because you never met anybody who's been in a plane crash. 234 00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,592 - And you want to know why? - Why? 235 00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:33,220 Because they're all dead. 236 00:10:36,009 --> 00:10:38,057 I think those pills are affecting you already. 237 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,231 [chuckles] I think so. Oh, my God. 238 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,852 What... What takes you to Arizona? 239 00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:43,434 Oh, my... 240 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,519 - My daughters live there. - Hmm. 241 00:10:45,602 --> 00:10:47,071 Well, that should be fun. 242 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,490 Not exactly. 243 00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,334 They're kind of forcing me to go. 244 00:10:50,357 --> 00:10:51,359 Why? 245 00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:53,536 [sighs] Well... 246 00:10:54,486 --> 00:10:58,081 my husband, he died last year, so... 247 00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:00,288 Plane crash? 248 00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:03,167 [laughs] Oh! You didn't say that. 249 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,923 - Sorry, that was a bad joke. - That's okay. 250 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,592 - I'm really sorry for your loss. - I'm sorry, too. No, well... 251 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,966 Thank you, that's sweet. Thank you so much. 252 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,048 - Yeah... - [thump] 253 00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:14,383 Oh! {Woman} Hey! 254 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:15,466 [shrieks] 255 00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:16,721 [groans] 256 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,677 Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, my God. 257 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,808 [whispers] Oh, this is terrible. 258 00:11:21,471 --> 00:11:23,065 - Wow. - I'm so... 259 00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:26,144 [stammers] That was the jet bridge and we're still on the ground. 260 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,038 - We're still on the ground? - Yeah. 261 00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:31,235 I'm so terribly sorry. 262 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:33,489 [groans] 263 00:11:33,817 --> 00:11:35,490 - I'm quite all right. - Okay. 264 00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,993 Anything I can do to make your flight more comfortable. 265 00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:40,200 I appreciate that, thank you so much. 266 00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:42,456 [pop music playing] 267 00:11:42,534 --> 00:11:45,788 [inaudible] 268 00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:49,591 [whispers] Oh, Jesus. 269 00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:53,216 [sighs] 270 00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,600 Oh, wow. 271 00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,315 [sighs] on... 272 00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:10,859 Oh. 273 00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:12,697 Okay. 274 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,527 [whispers] Give me a break, okay? 275 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,533 This... 276 00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:18,613 [scoffs] 277 00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:19,743 [Vivian] Whoa! 278 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:23,333 [groans] 279 00:12:23,408 --> 00:12:25,878 [groans] Oh, my God, yes. 280 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,043 - You know, I was wondering. - Huh? 281 00:12:32,125 --> 00:12:34,145 That must have been one heck of a book you were reading. 282 00:12:34,169 --> 00:12:35,386 May I ask what it was? 283 00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:38,091 - Moby Dick. That's what it was. - Moby Dick. 284 00:12:38,173 --> 00:12:39,926 Uh-huh. Melville. 285 00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,767 I didn't realize Christian Grey had a nickname. 286 00:12:46,014 --> 00:12:47,937 - Enjoy Arizona. - Yeah, sure, of course. 287 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,394 Not a problem. 288 00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:01,322 [assistant, over intercom] Miss O'Donnell, I have an Arthur Riley for you. 289 00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:03,703 Is that so'? 290 00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:06,168 Take a message. 291 00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:08,375 [Arthur] Take a message? 292 00:13:08,453 --> 00:13:09,625 Really? 293 00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:10,878 [sighs] 294 00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:13,259 I didn't realize that... 295 00:13:13,333 --> 00:13:14,687 [clears throat] that you were here. 296 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:17,463 We just saw each other in the lobby two days ago. 297 00:13:18,338 --> 00:13:21,433 Pity. They say the memory is the second thing to go. 298 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,389 - What's the first thing to go? - Can't remember. 299 00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,393 I'm impressed. 300 00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,524 - How did you find me? - Google. 301 00:13:31,601 --> 00:13:34,400 - Google? - Yeah. It's a service on the computer. 302 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:35,777 Yeah, I know Google. 303 00:13:35,856 --> 00:13:38,780 Oh, well, I'm younger than you, so I didn't know... 304 00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:41,328 Oh, cute. Cute. 305 00:13:41,403 --> 00:13:42,871 What do you say? 306 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,823 May a gentleman buy you a cup of coffee? 307 00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:47,034 Well, a gentleman certainly may. 308 00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:48,536 Do you know of one? 309 00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,755 It was the mid-'80s. 310 00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:56,005 I became obsessed with risk management. 311 00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:57,927 You obsessed with work? 312 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,051 That's crazy. 313 00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:01,633 I know, right? Shocking! 314 00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:06,187 I could see the system was set up for trouble. 315 00:14:06,261 --> 00:14:08,434 Of course, none of the men in my firm believed me. 316 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:11,938 Well, men can be a little slow on the uptake. 317 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:14,316 Bad for them, good for me. 318 00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:16,022 And, um... 319 00:14:16,563 --> 00:14:18,861 you never picked up a husband along the way? 320 00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:21,994 No! 321 00:14:22,986 --> 00:14:25,456 Like I said, I'm way too good... 322 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,580 at forecasting risk. 323 00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:29,205 I figure by now, I've saved myself 324 00:14:29,284 --> 00:14:31,538 - a lot of money in legal fees. - True dat. 325 00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:35,417 How about you? Is there a Mrs. Riley? 326 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,126 Oh, yes. 327 00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:40,171 The good Mrs. Riley is back on the East Coast, 328 00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:43,758 having absconded with my last name, my dog, 329 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:45,683 and my co-op on the park. 330 00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:47,436 What did you do wrong? 331 00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:48,889 Well, let's just say 332 00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:52,225 I was a little less good at assessing risk. 333 00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:07,494 Whoa! Torn, talk about false advertising. 334 00:15:07,572 --> 00:15:09,745 [trumpet sounds through speakers] 335 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:17,796 [whispers] Whoa! 336 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:23,217 Jesus. 337 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,149 [woman, over computer] Join Tom and Cheryl and millions of others 338 00:15:25,173 --> 00:15:26,471 who found love on Bumble. 339 00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:31,022 Join Tom and Cheryl as they copulate in a coconut tree. 340 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,474 - [assistant] Judge Meyers? - Yes. 341 00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:34,980 Hi. It's 12:15. 342 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,946 Well, I really have to stay with this, so, urn... 343 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:42,825 If you could just tell them that we have to move it to next week, please. 344 00:15:42,899 --> 00:15:43,947 Of course. Yeah. 345 00:15:44,025 --> 00:15:45,629 [woman, over computer] Rev up your love life 346 00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:47,029 with these tips from Bumble... 347 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,615 Make love happen now and change your life... 348 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,201 Do you need anything else, Your Honor? 349 00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:53,803 [woman, over computer] A man of your dreams is just a click away. 350 00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,000 No, I don't. I'm fine. 351 00:15:55,078 --> 00:15:56,581 - Thank you. - Yep. 352 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,004 [door opens, closes] 353 00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:01,677 [Arthur] Here you go. Make a wish. 354 00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:06,927 What are you doing? 355 00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,054 I made a wish. 356 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,181 What did you wish for? 357 00:16:09,259 --> 00:16:11,854 I always wish for the same thing: A healthy planet. 358 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:13,768 That's not your wish. 359 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,942 That's not even a wish! 360 00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:18,519 Wishes have to be personal, not global. 361 00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:20,605 - Since when? - Since forever. 362 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:22,523 [sighs] 363 00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:25,780 And secondly, you can't tell anybody your wish. 364 00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,783 Otherwise it negates the whole thing. 365 00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,702 No, God, you're not gonna go in there. Don't do that. 366 00:16:30,780 --> 00:16:32,158 Well, somebody has to. 367 00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:33,869 You made an improper wish 368 00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,874 and you've jeopardized the entire planet. 369 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:38,123 Oh, God, you are insane. 370 00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:40,254 You are insane! Don't go in! 371 00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:41,676 [grunts] Oh... 372 00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:42,967 I have no choice here. 373 00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:44,671 You're obviously the type of person 374 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:47,222 who's too delicate to go in after her own penny. 375 00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:48,886 Oh, you think I'm delicate? 376 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:51,932 [shrieks] 377 00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:53,557 See? Delicate. 378 00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:56,140 You know, what you're reading as delicate is this. 379 00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:59,148 It's this bracelet that costs as much as a car! 380 00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:00,604 Let's see that bracelet. 381 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,153 - Oh, no. Not my phone... - Oh, dear! 382 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:03,903 - Oh, dear. - No, no. Oh, boy. 383 00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:06,700 - Now you have done it. - Oh, what do you mean? 384 00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:09,528 God, it's scary how addicted you kids are to your phone. 385 00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:10,909 - [grunts] - No, give it to me! 386 00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,786 Hold on one second here! 387 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,992 [chuckles] I've never seen... 388 00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:18,171 You know, I think you might need to talk to someone about this. 389 00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:20,589 I see why you lost your co-op on the park. 390 00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:23,964 - I hope that's waterproof. - Oh, no. [Squeals] 391 00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:26,336 [chuckles] 392 00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:27,971 [whistle blowing] 393 00:17:30,173 --> 00:17:32,393 - No bathing in the fountain. - [Arthur] Okay! 394 00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:34,220 But technically, we're not bathing. 395 00:17:34,302 --> 00:17:36,977 - Arthur. - And she started it. 396 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,730 He doesn't care who started it! It was him. 397 00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,478 - Out. - All right. 398 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,939 Oh! Ah, wait a minute. 399 00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:48,116 - I found it. - Oh, that's so great. 400 00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:50,444 Oh! Did you see that? 401 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:53,614 Would you mind just taking a photo? 402 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:57,166 [sighs] I hate my life. 403 00:18:01,204 --> 00:18:02,957 It might take a little bit of time, 404 00:18:03,039 --> 00:18:04,962 but you're gonna love it here in Arizona. 405 00:18:05,041 --> 00:18:06,588 - I don't... - Let's face it... 406 00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:08,842 You being here makes more sense for all of us. 407 00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,845 We can't jump on a plane every time something happens to you. 408 00:18:11,923 --> 00:18:13,644 What are you talking about, "happens to me"? 409 00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:15,516 You could slip and fall at any moment. 410 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,643 I don't want to overstate the dangers 411 00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:19,941 for a woman your age living alone, 412 00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:22,609 but I did research online, and it's pretty alarming. 413 00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:25,188 But you do know, I mean, I'm really not that old. 414 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,944 Well, no, you're not, Mom, but neither was Dad. 415 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:29,817 I know, honey, I know. 416 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:30,991 I need a coffee. 417 00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:33,287 Well, the good coffee is all the way upstairs. 418 00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:34,909 Mom, why don't you wait down here? 419 00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,161 Wait down here? Sure. 420 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,617 God forbid, I can't go up an escalator at my age. 421 00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:41,170 But hurry back. I could slip and fall at any moment. 422 00:18:41,244 --> 00:18:42,872 - Just sit there, Mommy. - Ooh! 423 00:18:42,954 --> 00:18:45,834 - I'll get you a chamomile? - [sighs] Oh, God. Yeah, thanks. 424 00:18:45,915 --> 00:18:47,759 - Be careful! - Uh-huh. 425 00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:53,386 [old man] They brought the kids to see you? 426 00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,012 - Yeah. - [old man] That's good. 427 00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,470 - Oh, God, what? - [cell phone ringing] 428 00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:01,689 - Hello. - [Carol] Have you ever been spanked? 429 00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:04,064 - What? - As an adult, sexually. 430 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:07,146 I mean, is this what people are doing? 431 00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,652 Carol, it's Diane. You dialed the wrong number. 432 00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:11,608 No. Have you not read the book? 433 00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,412 [Diane] Yes. I've read it. Of course I have. 434 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,829 - And? - I don't know who her lawyer is, 435 00:19:15,904 --> 00:19:17,827 but she should not have signed that contract. 436 00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:19,704 Look, clearly, we have things to discuss. 437 00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,912 I'm gonna call an emergency book club. 438 00:19:21,993 --> 00:19:24,212 That means you got to get back here, pronto. 439 00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,461 I'd come back for an emergency colonoscopy, 440 00:19:26,539 --> 00:19:28,917 but it's just a little bit more complicated here. 441 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,753 Oh, God. How is life in Scottsdale? 442 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,890 Well, I don't know, I feel like I'm... 443 00:19:34,964 --> 00:19:38,344 - [snoring] - in an episode of The Walking Dead. 444 00:19:38,426 --> 00:19:41,020 Wait a second. You sound out of breath. Where are you? 445 00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:44,567 I'm going to a... a dance rehearsal and I'm late. 446 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:46,736 - You're late? You're never late. - I know! 447 00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:49,404 This book has got me in a total tizzy. Just get back here. 448 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,528 I'll get back there. Bye. 449 00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:54,864 [sighs] 450 00:19:55,318 --> 00:19:56,365 - [Carol] Wow. - Chin up. 451 00:19:56,444 --> 00:19:57,570 [Latin music playing] 452 00:19:57,654 --> 00:20:01,875 And one, two, three. Go, two, three. 453 00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:05,125 - One, two, three. - One, two, three. Wait. 454 00:20:05,203 --> 00:20:06,625 Stop! [Music Stops] 455 00:20:07,205 --> 00:20:09,834 Stop, stop, stop! 456 00:20:10,291 --> 00:20:12,840 Honey, I think we're supposed to go this way. 457 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:13,921 To the left. 458 00:20:14,003 --> 00:20:15,721 Right. Which is what I did. 459 00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:18,050 His left. This way. 460 00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:21,519 Back, two, three. Side, two, three. 461 00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:24,097 Okay, I got it. I was wrong. 462 00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:25,854 I was wrong, you were right. 463 00:20:25,932 --> 00:20:27,480 My little Fred Astaire. 464 00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:29,436 I will follow you wherever you want to go. 465 00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:31,614 - How about lunch? - We start again. 466 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:33,487 You know what? I'm wondering... 467 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,085 Do you think it would be possible for us 468 00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:37,577 to just skip straight to our choreography? 469 00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:41,577 We must first learn... to dance! 470 00:20:42,365 --> 00:20:43,913 Right. I know. 471 00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:46,916 But I sort of do know how to dance. Come on, I do. 472 00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:49,795 I still remember the whole tap dance 473 00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:51,727 to "Red, Red Robin Goes Bob, Bob, Bobbin' Along“" 474 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,377 that I did when I was six. 475 00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:55,259 It's like savant-ish. 476 00:20:55,336 --> 00:20:57,931 [in Hungarian] Sounds like you peaked early. 477 00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,304 What? 478 00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:01,259 - What did she say? - You're asking me? 479 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:06,561 So, what is going on with little Ginsburg here? 480 00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:10,694 Well, she's not herself lately. 481 00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:12,864 She... She has no energy. 482 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:16,157 She's really lost the spark of life. 483 00:21:16,232 --> 00:21:18,109 She's just kind of blah. 484 00:21:18,193 --> 00:21:20,696 It sounds like we have a lethargic pussy on our hands. 485 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,239 Seriously? 486 00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:24,333 Have there been any changes at home? 487 00:21:24,407 --> 00:21:26,786 Any new people or pets moving in or out? 488 00:21:26,868 --> 00:21:28,461 [chuckles] At home? Oh, God, no. 489 00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:30,881 There hasn't been a change at home forever. 490 00:21:30,955 --> 00:21:32,377 And what about diet? 491 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:36,048 I've tried a few, but I like to eat. 492 00:21:36,127 --> 00:21:39,677 So whatever weight I take off, I put right back on, so... 493 00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:41,634 it's useless. 494 00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,434 You're talking about the cat. 495 00:21:43,510 --> 00:21:45,683 I am a veterinarian. 496 00:21:46,262 --> 00:21:47,765 I knew that. 497 00:21:48,223 --> 00:21:51,318 [flight attendant, over PA] Would the passenger in seat 17-D 498 00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:52,940 please report to the cockpit? 499 00:21:53,019 --> 00:21:55,522 I repeat, the passenger in seat 17-D, 500 00:21:55,605 --> 00:21:58,450 please report to the cockpit. Thank you. 501 00:22:01,862 --> 00:22:03,910 - [Diane] Oh. - Hi. 502 00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:07,242 I just need a little bit more information from you. 503 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,202 Oh. Oh. 504 00:22:09,577 --> 00:22:12,673 Urn, we need phone numbers, home and cell. 505 00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:13,874 And cell... 506 00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:15,925 Also, a current home address. 507 00:22:16,626 --> 00:22:17,798 What, really? 508 00:22:17,877 --> 00:22:18,878 Uh-huh. 509 00:22:18,962 --> 00:22:20,556 Oh, okay. 510 00:22:20,631 --> 00:22:24,510 Also, an email and whatever nights you are typically free. 511 00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,185 - You... - [door unlocks] 512 00:22:26,261 --> 00:22:27,683 You've got to be kidding me. 513 00:22:27,762 --> 00:22:29,810 Pilots, we never kid about things like this. 514 00:22:30,849 --> 00:22:33,103 [chuckles] No! Wait, I don't understand. 515 00:22:33,184 --> 00:22:35,438 - What are you doing here? - Flying the plane, I think. 516 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,397 So, you're a pilot? 517 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,700 I think so. They gave me the hat. 518 00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:41,152 [chuckles] Oh, my God. 519 00:22:42,403 --> 00:22:43,494 Thank you. 520 00:22:45,823 --> 00:22:49,248 This is how you ask someone for their number? 521 00:22:49,326 --> 00:22:51,499 Not usually, but you are very special. 522 00:22:51,578 --> 00:22:52,671 Uh-huh. 523 00:22:52,746 --> 00:22:54,213 Can I take you to dinner? 524 00:22:54,289 --> 00:22:55,836 - [alarm beeping] - Oh, my God. 525 00:22:55,915 --> 00:22:57,008 What's going on here? 526 00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:58,894 I think what I'm doing is asking you to dinner. 527 00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:01,092 - But what is the beeping? - It's an alarm. 528 00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:03,048 Yeah, but what does that actually mean? 529 00:23:03,132 --> 00:23:05,476 Usually, an alarm means there's something wrong. 530 00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:07,894 - Go fix it! - I can't, I'm in the middle of something. 531 00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:11,144 Let's just cut this short Do something. Just do something. 532 00:23:11,222 --> 00:23:13,063 I can't, until we figure this dinner thing out. 533 00:23:13,099 --> 00:23:16,820 Okay, fine! Yeah, what the hell. Just get the hell back in there! 534 00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:19,359 [chuckles] 535 00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:21,738 Okay, here's the alarm. 536 00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:23,096 - [switch clicks] - [alarm stops] 537 00:23:23,777 --> 00:23:25,153 I will call you. 538 00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:30,201 [groans] Oh, my God. 539 00:23:31,117 --> 00:23:34,963 This book! I mean, the things Christian does to her! 540 00:23:35,038 --> 00:23:37,633 My God! It's absurd. 541 00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:41,679 I could have put him in jail for any one of those things. 542 00:23:41,753 --> 00:23:43,756 But she sure was having fun. 543 00:23:43,838 --> 00:23:44,964 Yes, she was. 544 00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:47,759 It's not like we don't have fun. 545 00:23:47,843 --> 00:23:49,936 No, but it's a different kind of fun. 546 00:23:50,011 --> 00:23:51,934 - Very different. - Like this. 547 00:23:52,681 --> 00:23:54,398 - This is fun. - For sure. 548 00:23:55,142 --> 00:23:57,691 I just can't stop thinking about when he snuck her off 549 00:23:57,769 --> 00:24:01,023 and he gave it to her right there in the boathouse, you know? 550 00:24:01,105 --> 00:24:02,653 - Oh, the boathouse. - Yeah. 551 00:24:02,732 --> 00:24:04,826 Do you think anyone our age still goes... 552 00:24:05,027 --> 00:24:06,653 Hi, beautiful friends! 553 00:24:06,737 --> 00:24:08,739 Yeah, I think some people do. 554 00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:11,959 Uh, let me guess. You saw Arthur again. 555 00:24:12,367 --> 00:24:14,790 I did, I did. We had coffee. 556 00:24:14,869 --> 00:24:16,212 And you slept with him. 557 00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:17,789 Oh, God, no! 558 00:24:17,873 --> 00:24:21,594 Although I have to admit, he's still very charming and fun. 559 00:24:21,669 --> 00:24:23,296 So you find him charming and fun, 560 00:24:23,378 --> 00:24:25,221 but you didn't sleep with him. 561 00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:26,548 Exactly. 562 00:24:26,632 --> 00:24:28,726 I don't sleep with people I like. You know that. 563 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,474 - I gave that up in the '90s. - You make no sense. 564 00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:34,348 I make perfect sense. 565 00:24:34,431 --> 00:24:35,898 [whispers] Now, now, now, now. 566 00:24:35,974 --> 00:24:38,728 Tell me what is going on. Tell me everything. 567 00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:40,733 You are too happy. I don't like this. 568 00:24:41,105 --> 00:24:42,652 [sighs] Okay. 569 00:24:42,730 --> 00:24:44,449 - Best book ever! - Yes! 570 00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:45,992 What is going on? 571 00:24:46,067 --> 00:24:47,740 Oh, yeah. No, wait. 572 00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:49,241 Imagine this, okay? 573 00:24:49,822 --> 00:24:52,371 Um, so, me sitting on a plane, 574 00:24:52,449 --> 00:24:54,542 uh, you know, reading our little book... 575 00:24:54,617 --> 00:24:58,623 and, well, this, um, devilishly handsome man... 576 00:24:58,705 --> 00:25:00,799 Oh my God, is this going where I hope it is? 577 00:25:00,874 --> 00:25:03,877 Yes, it is. You know what he did? He asked me out to dinner. 578 00:25:04,502 --> 00:25:06,255 Well, that's not exactly... 579 00:25:06,337 --> 00:25:08,260 - Oh, shh! - You met a man on an airplane? 580 00:25:08,339 --> 00:25:10,593 Yeah, and guess what? A pilot! 581 00:25:10,675 --> 00:25:11,928 [laughter] 582 00:25:12,010 --> 00:25:13,512 Love a man in uniform. 583 00:25:13,595 --> 00:25:15,438 Your husband just died! 584 00:25:15,513 --> 00:25:18,858 Harry. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Oh, he was... 585 00:25:18,933 --> 00:25:19,980 He was such a good man. 586 00:25:20,059 --> 00:25:22,438 That was the best thing that ever happened to you. 587 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,148 Harry dying was the best thing that ever happened to her? 588 00:25:25,231 --> 00:25:28,236 Yeah, 'cause now she can have sex with somebody who's not an accountant. 589 00:25:28,317 --> 00:25:30,069 Wait a minute. Are you crazy? 590 00:25:30,153 --> 00:25:31,530 Sex? Forget about it. 591 00:25:31,613 --> 00:25:33,580 I don't even remember how to have sex. No way! 592 00:25:33,656 --> 00:25:35,250 Don't worry, it'll all come back. 593 00:25:35,325 --> 00:25:37,076 It's just like riding a bicycle. 594 00:25:37,326 --> 00:25:39,000 Except instead of riding a bicycle, 595 00:25:39,078 --> 00:25:40,375 you have sex with a man. 596 00:25:40,455 --> 00:25:43,881 Note to self: Watch Carol ride a bicycle someday. 597 00:25:43,959 --> 00:25:45,836 If you need a refresher, 598 00:25:45,919 --> 00:25:48,718 I know somebody who sure does know how to have sex. 599 00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:50,733 I don't know what that is, but I'll tell you one thing: 600 00:25:50,758 --> 00:25:51,984 It is definitely not sex, okay? 601 00:25:52,009 --> 00:25:53,556 No, you're right, that's not sex. 602 00:25:53,634 --> 00:25:55,729 That's crazy hot sex. 603 00:25:56,137 --> 00:25:58,731 Can we please stop saying "sex"? 604 00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:00,650 What do you prefer, “make love"? 605 00:26:00,726 --> 00:26:03,148 - "I don't make love. I f..." - [coughs] 606 00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:04,319 "Hard." 607 00:26:04,771 --> 00:26:06,023 That's what he said. 608 00:26:06,105 --> 00:26:07,607 - Oh, my. - Ooh. 609 00:26:08,025 --> 00:26:09,777 You've completely lost it. 610 00:26:09,859 --> 00:26:11,657 - No, I think she's found it. - Yeah. 611 00:26:11,737 --> 00:26:14,455 She's found it. Handcuffed in the red room, right? 612 00:26:14,530 --> 00:26:15,999 [imitates whip cracking] 613 00:26:16,075 --> 00:26:17,873 - The whip. - [Carol] The red room. 614 00:26:17,951 --> 00:26:20,203 Bruce must be having such fun with all this. 615 00:26:20,287 --> 00:26:23,586 Oh, yes, such fun, actually. Yeah. 616 00:26:23,664 --> 00:26:25,258 What is that? 617 00:26:25,334 --> 00:26:26,210 [Carol groans] 618 00:26:26,292 --> 00:26:28,295 This book made me realize that 619 00:26:28,377 --> 00:26:31,632 it's been quite a while since we... you know. 620 00:26:31,714 --> 00:26:33,808 As in... as in weeks? 621 00:26:33,884 --> 00:26:36,057 Mmm, like, maybe six. 622 00:26:36,135 --> 00:26:37,729 - Six weeks? - Months. 623 00:26:37,805 --> 00:26:40,023 Oh, God, I thought you guys were like rabbits. 624 00:26:40,098 --> 00:26:43,068 We are, if rabbits took a ton of Benadryl 625 00:26:43,143 --> 00:26:44,611 and made a chastity pact. 626 00:26:44,685 --> 00:26:46,653 Oh, my God, we have to put a stop to this. 627 00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:47,730 Oh, come on. 628 00:26:47,815 --> 00:26:50,034 I mean, if women our age were meant to have sex, 629 00:26:50,108 --> 00:26:52,362 God wouldn't do what he does to our bodies. 630 00:26:52,443 --> 00:26:54,412 Whoa! Well, speak for yourself. 631 00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:57,290 That was not God. That was Dr. Nazarian. 632 00:26:57,365 --> 00:27:00,619 [laughs] He did a good job. 633 00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,213 - Hey, everyone. - [all gasp] 634 00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:05,915 - [all] Hey! - What's the topic this month? 635 00:27:05,999 --> 00:27:08,718 - W hat... - Moby Dick. 636 00:27:08,794 --> 00:27:10,796 Oh, yeah, sounds like fun. 637 00:27:11,547 --> 00:27:13,298 - Carol? - What? 638 00:27:13,382 --> 00:27:15,976 You are not gonna believe what I pulled out of the garage. 639 00:27:16,050 --> 00:27:17,519 My old motorcycle. 640 00:27:17,803 --> 00:27:20,396 That poor thing hasn't been ridden in ages! 641 00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:22,141 Poor thing. 642 00:27:22,223 --> 00:27:24,101 Oh, there's a little sag in the cable. 643 00:27:24,183 --> 00:27:26,231 She's still got a gorgeous chassis. 644 00:27:26,310 --> 00:27:29,109 You know, I was thinking maybe I could lube her up 645 00:27:29,189 --> 00:27:31,156 and get that old gal riding again. 646 00:27:31,232 --> 00:27:33,234 - Yeah, yeah, good idea. - That's good. 647 00:27:33,317 --> 00:27:34,694 Give her undercarriage a good buff 648 00:27:34,778 --> 00:27:36,654 and slap a little wax on her saddle. 649 00:27:37,072 --> 00:27:38,288 [giggling] 650 00:27:38,365 --> 00:27:40,366 [laughs] Ooh, I hope he uses protection. 651 00:27:40,450 --> 00:27:42,669 - Shut up. - Moby Dick? 652 00:27:42,743 --> 00:27:44,711 - What was that? - I don't know. 653 00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:46,539 I don't know why my mind keeps going there. 654 00:27:46,623 --> 00:27:47,623 It's like, duh. 655 00:27:47,665 --> 00:27:50,214 Ladies, this book is a wakeup call. 656 00:27:50,294 --> 00:27:53,012 I don't care what society says about women our age. 657 00:27:53,087 --> 00:27:55,432 Sex must not be taken off the table. 658 00:27:55,507 --> 00:27:59,353 Hold on. I mean, we are four smart successful women. 659 00:27:59,427 --> 00:28:00,849 I don't need a man. 660 00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:03,227 I know. You've proved that for 18 years. 661 00:28:03,307 --> 00:28:04,479 Touché. 662 00:28:04,557 --> 00:28:07,561 No, my point is, the choice should be ours. 663 00:28:07,644 --> 00:28:10,647 [Diane] Speaking of which, we are doubling down. 664 00:28:10,730 --> 00:28:13,529 How about this for a choice? [Laughs] 665 00:28:13,608 --> 00:28:14,530 Oh! 666 00:28:14,609 --> 00:28:17,032 - Thank God it's a trilogy. - My God! 667 00:28:17,112 --> 00:28:19,535 - Especially for you, Sharon. - Thank you so much. 668 00:28:19,615 --> 00:28:21,583 Thank you. Thank you. Ladies? 669 00:28:21,657 --> 00:28:22,657 - What? - Ladies? 670 00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:24,123 (Yes? {Germ} Yes') 671 00:28:24,202 --> 00:28:28,048 We shall not go gentle into that good night. 672 00:28:29,124 --> 00:28:34,050 So, let's lube up those bikes and get riding again! 673 00:28:34,128 --> 00:28:37,098 [all howl] 674 00:28:37,173 --> 00:28:41,349 "I groan and tilt my pelvis involuntarily against him," 675 00:28:41,427 --> 00:28:43,020 finding a delicious...“ 676 00:28:43,096 --> 00:28:45,565 [laughs hysterically] 677 00:28:45,641 --> 00:28:48,064 "A delicious friction..." 678 00:28:48,143 --> 00:28:50,237 Oh, this is really something. 679 00:28:50,311 --> 00:28:55,034 "Against the seam of his fly and his growing erection." 680 00:28:55,107 --> 00:28:56,905 '[cell phone ringing] {whispers} Oh... 681 00:28:56,984 --> 00:28:59,989 Oh, dear. Oh, my God, okay, okay. 682 00:29:01,906 --> 00:29:03,750 - Hello? - [Adrianne] Are you okay? 683 00:29:03,825 --> 00:29:05,345 You were supposed to call me after dinner. 684 00:29:05,368 --> 00:29:08,248 Yeah, I'm fine, honey. I just finished. 685 00:29:08,329 --> 00:29:09,832 [Adrianne] Did you eat alone? 686 00:29:10,790 --> 00:29:12,588 Yes, alone. 687 00:29:12,667 --> 00:29:14,260 [Adrianne sighs] God, it's all so sad. 688 00:29:14,336 --> 00:29:16,884 Yeah. Okay, but anyway... 689 00:29:17,130 --> 00:29:20,054 thanks for checking in, and I really should get to bed. 690 00:29:20,133 --> 00:29:21,986 [Adrianne] Remember, we can put you in the basement 691 00:29:22,009 --> 00:29:23,227 whenever you're ready. 692 00:29:23,303 --> 00:29:24,805 Okay. 693 00:29:25,763 --> 00:29:27,016 [sighs] 694 00:29:27,891 --> 00:29:29,063 [sighs] Whoa. 695 00:29:29,142 --> 00:29:30,564 [scoffs] I mean... 696 00:29:31,353 --> 00:29:32,820 [whispers] Wow, wow. 697 00:29:33,814 --> 00:29:35,656 [cell phone ringing] 698 00:29:36,607 --> 00:29:37,825 [in annoyed tone] Hello! 699 00:29:37,901 --> 00:29:39,545 [Mitchell] Is that really how you answer the phone? 700 00:29:39,568 --> 00:29:42,367 - All right, who is this? - I'm gonna hang up now. 701 00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:45,075 Then I'll call you back and we're gonna try this again. 702 00:29:47,411 --> 00:29:48,788 [groans] Oh, my God. 703 00:29:49,746 --> 00:29:50,747 [cell phone ringing] 704 00:29:50,830 --> 00:29:51,832 It's over. 705 00:29:51,914 --> 00:29:54,463 I can't do anything right, obviously. Okay. 706 00:29:57,503 --> 00:29:58,800 Hello there! 707 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,847 Hey, hello there. Much better. 708 00:30:02,759 --> 00:30:03,931 Have you had dinner? 709 00:30:04,010 --> 00:30:06,058 [Diane] Oh, I have. Yeah. 710 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,102 How about tomorrow night? 711 00:30:08,472 --> 00:30:09,849 Dinner tomorrow night? 712 00:30:09,932 --> 00:30:11,901 Sounds great. Thought you'd never ask. 713 00:30:12,769 --> 00:30:14,145 What time should I pick you up? 714 00:30:14,895 --> 00:30:16,614 But I... I really can't, so... 715 00:30:17,148 --> 00:30:19,242 - Why can't you? - No, I mean... 716 00:30:19,317 --> 00:30:21,866 I mean, of course I can, but where are you anyway? 717 00:30:21,944 --> 00:30:23,321 I'm in Sedona. 718 00:30:23,404 --> 00:30:25,953 But I'm in... Oh! I'm in Santa Monica, so... 719 00:30:26,032 --> 00:30:28,286 I'm aware. I'll pick you up at 6:30. 720 00:30:28,367 --> 00:30:30,836 Well, wait. But you can't just kind of like... 721 00:30:30,912 --> 00:30:33,461 Actually, I can. I'll see you tomorrow night. 722 00:30:36,792 --> 00:30:38,510 [chuckles] Oh, God. 723 00:30:38,586 --> 00:30:40,088 [sighs] Oh, dear. 724 00:30:42,548 --> 00:30:43,548 Oh. 725 00:30:43,592 --> 00:30:45,469 Someone make a bad wish? 726 00:30:45,551 --> 00:30:48,771 Oh, you should know I rescue wishes all over town. 727 00:30:50,097 --> 00:30:51,816 Wanna grab a cup of coffee? 728 00:30:51,892 --> 00:30:53,609 Oh, I... I can't today. 729 00:30:54,685 --> 00:30:56,563 Well, I'd like to grab a drink sometime. 730 00:30:58,065 --> 00:31:00,739 We have an excellent bar on the mezzanine level. 731 00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:05,404 Oh, you meant with me? 732 00:31:05,489 --> 00:31:06,957 - You're funny. - Oh. 733 00:31:07,365 --> 00:31:09,209 Okay, it's a date, then. 734 00:31:09,284 --> 00:31:11,082 [whistles] 735 00:31:12,746 --> 00:31:14,498 I love that you have a date! 736 00:31:14,580 --> 00:31:16,458 Yeah, and it's a first date. 737 00:31:16,540 --> 00:31:19,510 So it's important that you put on something sexy. 738 00:31:19,586 --> 00:31:22,134 - [sighs] Oh... - [Diane] I don't own anything sexy. 739 00:31:22,213 --> 00:31:24,592 Don't listen to her. Just be comfortable. 740 00:31:24,673 --> 00:31:25,925 Be yourself. 741 00:31:26,009 --> 00:31:27,510 Okay. Well, what about... 742 00:31:27,594 --> 00:31:28,720 Does this... 743 00:31:30,180 --> 00:31:32,523 - That's too comfortable. - [Carol] Right, yeah, no. No. 744 00:31:32,598 --> 00:31:34,067 Okay, fine. 745 00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:36,190 I can take that to Goodwill for you. 746 00:31:36,269 --> 00:31:37,612 Don't do that to them. 747 00:31:37,686 --> 00:31:39,007 Those people have enough trouble. 748 00:31:39,146 --> 00:31:40,990 - She always does this. - [whispers] I know. 749 00:31:41,066 --> 00:31:43,114 She wears these voluminous things 750 00:31:43,192 --> 00:31:45,537 to cover that beautiful figure. All the time! 751 00:31:45,612 --> 00:31:47,990 Oh! Oh, my God! '[Carol] Yes! 752 00:31:48,073 --> 00:31:50,496 - Perfect! You look great! - You look perfect. 753 00:31:50,575 --> 00:31:52,451 - Let me see. - I don't want... 754 00:31:52,536 --> 00:31:55,539 Oh, my God, you look so good. Unbutton one little button here. 755 00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:57,589 - Show off the girls. - [shrieks] Get off! 756 00:31:57,665 --> 00:31:59,509 Let them out! Oh, no, no, no. 757 00:31:59,584 --> 00:32:02,211 - This is so ridiculous. - So exciting. 758 00:32:02,295 --> 00:32:04,172 Oh, I can't believe how nervous I am. 759 00:32:04,256 --> 00:32:06,509 I am, too. Do you remember your last date? 760 00:32:06,590 --> 00:32:07,933 We're talking Nixon era. 761 00:32:08,009 --> 00:32:10,057 - Wait, is that helping? - No. 762 00:32:10,136 --> 00:32:11,137 [doorbell rings] 763 00:32:11,221 --> 00:32:12,972 [Diane] Oh, God. I need a safe word. 764 00:32:13,056 --> 00:32:14,103 [whimpers] 765 00:32:14,182 --> 00:32:16,855 You're gonna be great! You're gonna be great. 766 00:32:17,144 --> 00:32:20,317 - This is gonna be amazing! - Let's get to the window. 767 00:32:22,356 --> 00:32:25,280 Just act natural. Showtime! 768 00:32:27,112 --> 00:32:29,580 - Well, hey, you. - Oh, good, you're home. 769 00:32:29,655 --> 00:32:32,750 - He's wearing jeans. - I love a man in jeans. 770 00:32:32,826 --> 00:32:35,375 Let me see. Okay... 771 00:32:35,453 --> 00:32:38,458 - He's got a cute tush. - [Vivian] Oh, God! 772 00:32:38,539 --> 00:32:39,540 [Carol] Oh, God. 773 00:32:39,624 --> 00:32:40,967 [laughter] 774 00:32:41,041 --> 00:32:42,134 Um... 775 00:32:42,210 --> 00:32:44,633 - Oh. You brought me flowers? - Here you go. 776 00:32:46,213 --> 00:32:47,590 Thank you so much. 777 00:32:47,673 --> 00:32:49,017 [Vivian] He brought flowers! 778 00:32:49,092 --> 00:32:51,766 [Carol] I love a man who brings flowers. 779 00:32:51,845 --> 00:32:53,605 If you don't like them, blame your neighbors. 780 00:32:53,637 --> 00:32:56,436 - I picked them from their garden. - You're kidding. 781 00:32:56,516 --> 00:32:59,565 [Sharon] The last time she went on a date, she got pregnant. 782 00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:01,863 [Vivian] I don't think that's gonna happen this time. 783 00:33:06,984 --> 00:33:10,204 - He gave up on you. - I know. That's okay. 784 00:33:10,279 --> 00:33:12,907 - So, where were we? - Oh, yeah, a bathroom. 785 00:33:12,990 --> 00:33:15,335 A public bathroom? Like, a public bathroom? 786 00:33:15,410 --> 00:33:17,002 Yeah, like in a park. 787 00:33:17,077 --> 00:33:19,079 - In a park? - Well, yes, I was 11. 788 00:33:19,163 --> 00:33:20,932 The setting wasn't the first thing on my mind. 789 00:33:20,957 --> 00:33:21,957 No. 790 00:33:22,750 --> 00:33:25,424 - What about you? - Me? Oh, I don't remember. 791 00:33:25,503 --> 00:33:27,551 Everybody remembers their first kiss. 792 00:33:27,631 --> 00:33:29,258 How about I tell you about my best kiss? 793 00:33:29,340 --> 00:33:30,887 Maybe that hasn't happened yet. 794 00:33:31,468 --> 00:33:33,435 Oh, I see. Well. Hmm. 795 00:33:34,429 --> 00:33:36,021 My first kiss. 796 00:33:36,096 --> 00:33:39,145 That'd be the sixth grade and Terry Sanders. 797 00:33:40,059 --> 00:33:42,528 Terry Sanders. Is that a boy or a girl? 798 00:33:42,604 --> 00:33:44,527 [chuckles] A boy, obviously. 799 00:33:44,605 --> 00:33:45,606 I don't know. 800 00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:47,863 Anyway, it was one of those Christmas mixers. 801 00:33:47,942 --> 00:33:50,991 Some friends and I, we snuck backstage. 802 00:33:51,070 --> 00:33:52,663 It was dark, and... 803 00:33:52,739 --> 00:33:56,368 "I remember hearing the first bluesy notes of “At Last." 804 00:33:56,451 --> 00:33:58,294 Remember? By Etta James? 805 00:33:58,369 --> 00:34:02,215 And it came billowing down through the curtains, 806 00:34:02,289 --> 00:34:06,635 and that is when Terry Sanders came up to me, and he said... 807 00:34:06,711 --> 00:34:10,681 It was so sweet! He said, "I think I love you, Dee-Dee." 808 00:34:10,757 --> 00:34:15,387 Yeah, and then he grabbed my face with both of his hands, 809 00:34:15,469 --> 00:34:17,188 and he was like, I don't know... 810 00:34:17,264 --> 00:34:20,813 Maybe he had seen it in some movie or something. 811 00:34:20,891 --> 00:34:23,644 But he held my face, and, for a moment, 812 00:34:23,728 --> 00:34:27,072 my mind went completely blank in the greatest possible way. 813 00:34:27,856 --> 00:34:29,699 Oh, God. I mean, we didn't... 814 00:34:29,775 --> 00:34:32,244 We didn't know what we were doing, we just... 815 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,572 - Terry knew. - Maybe, yeah. 816 00:34:34,655 --> 00:34:36,829 We stood there like that, you know... 817 00:34:36,907 --> 00:34:39,786 We just stood there. Frozen. 818 00:34:41,121 --> 00:34:43,340 And you know, I didn't really care. 819 00:34:44,164 --> 00:34:45,382 Because... 820 00:34:48,378 --> 00:34:51,802 the feeling of his hands on my face... 821 00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:54,717 You know what I wish? I wish... 822 00:34:55,175 --> 00:34:57,224 everyone had a first kiss like that. 823 00:34:58,762 --> 00:35:00,139 Yeah. 824 00:35:00,556 --> 00:35:02,355 I'm so sorry. 825 00:35:02,434 --> 00:35:03,981 You know, I don't... 826 00:35:04,059 --> 00:35:07,360 I don't know why I told you the whole story! 827 00:35:07,438 --> 00:35:10,112 That was a beautiful... That was a beautiful story. 828 00:35:10,733 --> 00:35:11,985 Thank you. 829 00:35:12,318 --> 00:35:14,117 I wish I was kissed by Terry Sanders. 830 00:35:14,195 --> 00:35:15,492 [Diane laughs] 831 00:35:15,572 --> 00:35:18,041 Where is he? Whatever happened to Terry Sanders? 832 00:35:18,115 --> 00:35:20,710 - I need to track him down. - [Diane] Oh, Terry Sanders... 833 00:35:20,784 --> 00:35:22,128 No, what actually happened to him 834 00:35:22,202 --> 00:35:23,795 was that he died in a plane crash. 835 00:35:25,248 --> 00:35:26,465 He died, yeah. 836 00:35:27,708 --> 00:35:29,427 He just went like that. 837 00:35:29,501 --> 00:35:31,175 - Plane crash? - [Diane] Yeah. 838 00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:32,463 Mm-hmm. 839 00:35:33,088 --> 00:35:34,088 No. 840 00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:38,139 - I'm sorry. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 841 00:35:38,219 --> 00:35:39,811 He didn't die in a plane crash. 842 00:35:39,887 --> 00:35:41,606 You've been waiting all this time 843 00:35:41,681 --> 00:35:43,934 just to hit me with a plane crash joke. 844 00:35:44,016 --> 00:35:45,313 I couldn't help it. 845 00:35:45,393 --> 00:35:49,114 Diane can get a man to fly in from another state, 846 00:35:49,188 --> 00:35:52,489 and I can't get my husband to come in from the garage! 847 00:35:52,942 --> 00:35:54,822 Well, you have to give him a good enough reason. 848 00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:58,956 Well, since when is sex not a good enough reason for a man? 849 00:35:59,032 --> 00:36:01,911 Honey, you're not dealing with a man, you're dealing with an older man. 850 00:36:01,992 --> 00:36:03,791 Different animal. 851 00:36:03,869 --> 00:36:05,972 He's not thinking about sex. He's conditioned to think 852 00:36:05,996 --> 00:36:09,922 "that “inside" means changing a light bulb or fixing the toilet. 853 00:36:10,001 --> 00:36:13,972 Both of which sound infinitely more satisfying to me. 854 00:36:14,422 --> 00:36:16,516 So basically, I'm screwed. 855 00:36:16,590 --> 00:36:18,719 Or not screwed, as it were. 856 00:36:18,802 --> 00:36:20,724 He needs a reminder. Take him back to a time 857 00:36:20,804 --> 00:36:22,431 when sex was on his mind. 858 00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:24,398 - Miss O'Donnell? - Yeah. 859 00:36:24,474 --> 00:36:26,021 This was dropped at the desk for you. 860 00:36:26,518 --> 00:36:27,827 - Thank you, Runako. - You're welcome. 861 00:36:27,851 --> 00:36:29,103 It's Pavlovian. 862 00:36:29,186 --> 00:36:30,688 Present the right stimulus, 863 00:36:30,771 --> 00:36:32,523 you will not believe how quickly he'll come. 864 00:36:33,315 --> 00:36:36,411 Must you always be so crass? 865 00:36:36,485 --> 00:36:38,284 Look whose mind is in the gutter! 866 00:36:38,362 --> 00:36:40,706 [Sharon] I know! It's because of this book. 867 00:36:40,782 --> 00:36:42,329 The whipping and the flogging. 868 00:36:42,409 --> 00:36:45,036 I'm learning things no one our age should even know about! 869 00:36:45,119 --> 00:36:46,588 I mean, sex is... 870 00:36:46,663 --> 00:36:47,710 Ugh! 871 00:36:47,789 --> 00:36:50,132 Not that a little kissing or petting would kill me, but... 872 00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:51,835 Is that a poncho? 873 00:36:52,293 --> 00:36:54,670 Um... all right, sharing. 874 00:36:55,130 --> 00:36:57,882 "Next time we should wear protection"? 875 00:36:58,340 --> 00:36:59,467 "Love, Arthur." 876 00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:02,887 Uh, you weren't gonna tell us about this. 877 00:37:02,971 --> 00:37:04,688 I told you we went out for coffee. 878 00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:09,106 Unbelievable! That is not how I go out for coffee. 879 00:37:09,643 --> 00:37:11,862 The entire world is coupling up. 880 00:37:11,938 --> 00:37:15,442 You just need to put yourself out there the same way Tom did. 881 00:37:15,525 --> 00:37:17,744 You see her going online? [chuckles] 882 00:37:17,818 --> 00:37:19,992 I mean, let's not lose all our sense of reality. 883 00:37:20,070 --> 00:37:21,447 Well, why not? 884 00:37:21,530 --> 00:37:23,625 There are plenty of fish in the sea 885 00:37:23,699 --> 00:37:25,373 - who would adore her. - [Vivian] I agree. 886 00:37:25,452 --> 00:37:27,795 But to catch one she'd actually have to take out a pole 887 00:37:27,871 --> 00:37:29,543 and make her way down to the water. 888 00:37:29,621 --> 00:37:31,498 You really don't think I can do it. 889 00:37:31,583 --> 00:37:34,507 Well, I think you can. I just don't think you will. 890 00:37:34,585 --> 00:37:38,590 Then let's drink to me and my pole going online. 891 00:37:38,672 --> 00:37:42,552 - Well, yay! Good for you. - Yay! 892 00:37:42,635 --> 00:37:44,307 But you might want to lose the pole. 893 00:37:44,387 --> 00:37:45,434 Yeah. Good call. 894 00:37:52,186 --> 00:37:53,688 [sighs] 895 00:37:55,231 --> 00:37:56,699 Life motto? 896 00:37:56,775 --> 00:37:59,244 I'll give you a life motto. 897 00:37:59,318 --> 00:38:05,577 "No one with a life has a motto." 898 00:38:05,657 --> 00:38:07,034 [chuckles] 899 00:38:09,829 --> 00:38:10,920 "Find a mate?“" 900 00:38:10,996 --> 00:38:14,170 What am I, Lin-Lin the Panda at the San Diego Zoo? 901 00:38:14,250 --> 00:38:16,172 - [camera clicking] - No! No, no, no. 902 00:38:16,251 --> 00:38:17,798 [yells] 903 00:38:17,878 --> 00:38:19,597 Stop it! 904 00:38:19,672 --> 00:38:20,797 Shit! 905 00:38:23,050 --> 00:38:24,552 [Carol clears throat] 906 00:38:26,929 --> 00:38:29,557 My old uniform. What do you think? 907 00:38:29,641 --> 00:38:31,768 I feel like I'm in a time machine. 908 00:38:31,851 --> 00:38:34,070 I know. And it still fits! 909 00:38:34,896 --> 00:38:36,398 - Ta-da! - [fabric rips] 910 00:38:37,565 --> 00:38:39,612 There's some duct tape on the shelf. 911 00:38:39,692 --> 00:38:42,161 You're sweet, but that just makes it easier to... 912 00:38:43,153 --> 00:38:46,327 Oh, you need... You need duct tape. Okay... 913 00:38:46,865 --> 00:38:49,539 And, uh, give me the zip ties. 914 00:38:50,829 --> 00:38:52,751 Zip ties. 915 00:38:54,873 --> 00:38:57,297 Are you thinking about tying me up? 916 00:38:57,376 --> 00:38:58,548 What? 917 00:38:59,753 --> 00:39:02,677 Nothing. It's just something I was reading about. 918 00:39:04,007 --> 00:39:06,726 Is there anything else I can do for you? 919 00:39:06,802 --> 00:39:08,726 No, I think I'm good, thanks. 920 00:39:10,139 --> 00:39:11,516 I just needed more light 921 00:39:11,599 --> 00:39:13,521 before I can get inside her crankshaft. 922 00:39:14,059 --> 00:39:15,106 Check her out. 923 00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:17,563 Check out... your motorcycle? 924 00:39:17,646 --> 00:39:18,898 Yeah. 925 00:39:20,233 --> 00:39:23,112 - It sure brings back memories. - Yeah. 926 00:39:23,193 --> 00:39:25,697 And she's a lot prettier than I remember. 927 00:39:27,114 --> 00:39:29,867 I wouldn't complain if you want to take me for a ride. 928 00:39:29,951 --> 00:39:32,248 [tire pops, air hissing out] 929 00:39:32,327 --> 00:39:33,500 Rain check? 930 00:39:36,081 --> 00:39:39,677 I'm sorry. I talked your ear off. 931 00:39:39,751 --> 00:39:42,380 - I'll recover. - You will? I wonder. 932 00:39:42,463 --> 00:39:44,385 Just let me know when you're back in Arizona. 933 00:39:45,090 --> 00:39:49,471 Oh! Well, actually, I'm going to be there this weekend. 934 00:39:49,929 --> 00:39:51,271 How inconvenient. 935 00:39:51,347 --> 00:39:53,940 How inconvenient, yeah. Anyway... 936 00:39:54,516 --> 00:39:57,487 - It was really lovely. - Oh, it was really lovely. So... 937 00:39:57,561 --> 00:39:59,030 - Good night. - Have a good night. 938 00:39:59,105 --> 00:40:00,981 Okay, thank you. Thank you. 939 00:40:01,315 --> 00:40:02,693 [groans quietly] Oh, God. 940 00:40:03,358 --> 00:40:06,157 We need to get control of this situation. 941 00:40:06,862 --> 00:40:09,490 I don't want a repeat of what was going on 942 00:40:09,574 --> 00:40:11,166 in the evidentiary hearing. 943 00:40:11,242 --> 00:40:12,619 [message alert chime] 944 00:40:12,702 --> 00:40:14,670 Let's turn our phones off, please. 945 00:40:15,371 --> 00:40:16,496 Not mine. 946 00:40:16,581 --> 00:40:17,797 [message alert chime] 947 00:40:17,873 --> 00:40:19,717 Am I the only one hearing this? 948 00:40:19,791 --> 00:40:22,465 I believe it's from... over there. 949 00:40:23,295 --> 00:40:24,592 [message alert chime] 950 00:40:35,016 --> 00:40:37,313 Holy shit. 951 00:40:37,976 --> 00:40:41,025 [pop music playing] 952 00:41:01,250 --> 00:41:03,126 Here, Ginsburg, you want to go out? 953 00:41:08,382 --> 00:41:09,679 Go. 954 00:41:10,134 --> 00:41:11,601 Go ahead. 955 00:41:12,427 --> 00:41:13,849 Okay, fine. 956 00:41:13,929 --> 00:41:16,103 - Be lethargic. - [mewls] 957 00:41:31,864 --> 00:41:34,663 Damn you, E.L. James. 958 00:41:36,786 --> 00:41:40,130 His name is George and he's probably a serial killer. 959 00:41:40,748 --> 00:41:42,375 No man is perfect. 960 00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:44,425 Well, he's also certainly not normal. 961 00:41:44,501 --> 00:41:48,257 I mean, normal people don't go trolling for dates online. 962 00:41:48,338 --> 00:41:49,431 You do. 963 00:41:49,507 --> 00:41:50,974 Yeah, I rest my case. 964 00:41:51,342 --> 00:41:53,686 Maybe he's your Christian Grey. 965 00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:56,981 - He's a bald tax attorney. - Okay, maybe not. 966 00:41:57,056 --> 00:41:58,432 But at least you have a date. 967 00:41:58,516 --> 00:42:01,485 I'm never gonna have sex again for the rest of my life. 968 00:42:01,561 --> 00:42:03,358 [Sharon] He might not even have arms! 969 00:42:03,438 --> 00:42:04,485 - Hey. - What? 970 00:42:04,563 --> 00:42:06,065 These are essential. 971 00:42:06,148 --> 00:42:09,119 They hold you in, smooth everything down. Life changing. 972 00:42:09,485 --> 00:42:11,657 I'm gonna get them for you. Come here. 973 00:42:13,030 --> 00:42:16,786 Well, let's just say things did not go exactly as planned. 974 00:42:17,452 --> 00:42:18,998 You've been married too long. 975 00:42:19,077 --> 00:42:21,376 In the army, when they want to get a soldier's attention, 976 00:42:21,456 --> 00:42:22,878 they just blow on the trumpet. 977 00:42:22,956 --> 00:42:25,380 Well, that is precisely what I was attempting. 978 00:42:25,460 --> 00:42:28,338 - And the soldier? - Absent without leave. 979 00:42:28,838 --> 00:42:32,057 In fact, the trumpet never even came out of the barracks. 980 00:42:32,132 --> 00:42:35,103 The commanding officer put a kibosh on the mission, huh? 981 00:42:35,177 --> 00:42:37,179 Yes. Mission aborted. 982 00:42:37,262 --> 00:42:40,186 [Sharon] Oh, Jesus Christ, enough with the metaphors already. 983 00:42:40,266 --> 00:42:42,985 [groans] My organs just shifted. 984 00:42:43,061 --> 00:42:45,313 You're gonna be fine. Do scuba breathing. 985 00:42:46,105 --> 00:42:48,903 So, okay, give him one of these... 986 00:42:50,275 --> 00:42:52,653 and the lieutenant will stand at attention. 987 00:42:52,737 --> 00:42:54,364 You think that's the problem? 988 00:42:54,447 --> 00:42:57,701 I've been doing field research on this demographic a long time. 989 00:42:57,909 --> 00:42:59,956 He's probably just embarrassed. 990 00:43:00,036 --> 00:43:02,208 This is gonna be a game changer, trust me. 991 00:43:02,579 --> 00:43:03,581 [Sharon groans] 992 00:43:03,873 --> 00:43:05,125 You need some help? 993 00:43:05,208 --> 00:43:06,880 [Sharon] I need the Jaws of Life. 994 00:43:09,170 --> 00:43:10,592 [laughs] 995 00:43:10,670 --> 00:43:13,219 Um, I don't think you have that on quite right, 996 00:43:13,298 --> 00:43:14,471 but it's gonna look amazing. 997 00:43:14,550 --> 00:43:16,972 I look like a Lane Bryant mannequin. 998 00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:20,849 I'm sorry, I'm just trying to picture your serial killer 999 00:43:20,931 --> 00:43:22,650 trying to peel you out of that thing. 1000 00:43:22,724 --> 00:43:24,978 - He's gonna have to use his teeth. - If he has teeth. 1001 00:43:26,144 --> 00:43:27,505 When you guys are finished joking, 1002 00:43:27,563 --> 00:43:28,905 can you get me some scissors? 1003 00:43:28,981 --> 00:43:30,574 I can't feel my feet. 1004 00:43:38,574 --> 00:43:39,842 [Chris] Is that the one I showed you? 1005 00:43:39,867 --> 00:43:41,335 No. Found it on Zillow. 1006 00:43:41,409 --> 00:43:43,036 Check it out. 1007 00:43:43,121 --> 00:43:45,043 - This has a media room. - Oh, sick. 1008 00:43:45,123 --> 00:43:46,500 You don't need a media room, 1009 00:43:46,581 --> 00:43:49,005 you need your son to live in a good school district. 1010 00:43:49,085 --> 00:43:51,132 Mom. You shouldn't be adding salt. 1011 00:43:51,211 --> 00:43:53,806 It's spaghetti. I always add salt to my spaghetti. 1012 00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:56,599 Mom, did you not get the article I sent you on blood pressure? 1013 00:43:57,635 --> 00:43:59,682 [cell phone ringing] 1014 00:44:01,054 --> 00:44:04,059 Oh, shoot. Could... Could you excuse me forjust a sec? 1015 00:44:07,853 --> 00:44:10,606 Don't say “sick". You're 40 years old. 1016 00:44:11,231 --> 00:44:12,858 [Diane] Hi, how are you? 1017 00:44:13,693 --> 00:44:16,242 Come visit you? That's crazy! 1018 00:44:19,657 --> 00:44:22,956 What? Well, I don't know how I can do that, you know? 1019 00:44:23,827 --> 00:44:25,125 Yeah? 1020 00:44:25,996 --> 00:44:28,625 Oh. Well, okay. 1021 00:44:28,708 --> 00:44:30,309 I'm just gonna have to come up with a reason. 1022 00:44:30,333 --> 00:44:33,086 - [Jill] Mom? - Uh-oh. I got to go. 1023 00:44:33,170 --> 00:44:35,514 Okay, yes, and I will. Okay, bye. 1024 00:44:36,047 --> 00:44:38,891 - [Adrianne] ls everything okay? - [sighs] No. No. 1025 00:44:39,844 --> 00:44:42,597 That was my neighbor. And, um... 1026 00:44:42,679 --> 00:44:44,898 There was a robber, or a burglar, I don't know. 1027 00:44:44,974 --> 00:44:47,648 Anyway, they think that the house was burgled! 1028 00:44:47,726 --> 00:44:49,775 - Burgled? - It's shocking! 1029 00:44:50,521 --> 00:44:53,820 But you know something? I think I need to get back there ASAP to help. 1030 00:44:53,900 --> 00:44:55,617 What do you mean, help? 1031 00:44:55,693 --> 00:44:58,130 What I mean is the authorities... They may want to ask some questions. 1032 00:44:58,153 --> 00:45:00,782 So I do need to get back there now. 1033 00:45:01,072 --> 00:45:02,074 The authorities? 1034 00:45:02,157 --> 00:45:04,411 I'm not a suspect. I'm not suspicious. 1035 00:45:04,492 --> 00:45:06,666 It's not that kind of thing. But I'm so worried. 1036 00:45:06,746 --> 00:45:09,373 This world is just not a safe place for you anymore. 1037 00:45:09,456 --> 00:45:11,175 I'm sorry, and... 1038 00:45:11,250 --> 00:45:14,094 I'm really gonna try to keep that in my mind, okay? 1039 00:45:14,336 --> 00:45:17,010 But anyway, I need to book a flight back tomorrow. 1040 00:45:17,088 --> 00:45:19,762 Do I just not turn you on anymore? 1041 00:45:19,842 --> 00:45:23,186 I mean, I get it after 35 years and three kids, but am I... 1042 00:45:23,262 --> 00:45:26,106 Is it just not exciting anymore? 1043 00:45:26,181 --> 00:45:27,434 I love you, Carol. 1044 00:45:27,516 --> 00:45:29,813 I know you love me, and I love you. 1045 00:45:30,061 --> 00:45:31,688 Then what is the problem? 1046 00:45:31,771 --> 00:45:34,820 The problem is we haven't even tried to make love 1047 00:45:34,898 --> 00:45:36,400 since your retirement party. 1048 00:45:36,483 --> 00:45:38,327 And we both know how that turned out. 1049 00:45:38,402 --> 00:45:40,746 You yourself said there was something wrong 1050 00:45:40,820 --> 00:45:42,242 with the lamb that night. 1051 00:45:42,489 --> 00:45:45,083 We both know there was nothing wrong with the lamb. 1052 00:45:45,159 --> 00:45:46,456 I'm the one who made it. 1053 00:45:46,534 --> 00:45:48,628 I'm not having this conversation. 1054 00:45:48,704 --> 00:45:52,048 [sighs] Bruce, Vivian said that it is so normal for men... 1055 00:45:52,123 --> 00:45:53,670 Wait. Vivian? 1056 00:45:53,751 --> 00:45:55,969 Dr. Schaefer said there are safe and effective ways... 1057 00:45:56,045 --> 00:45:57,512 You talked to Dr. Schaefer'? 1058 00:45:57,588 --> 00:46:00,056 I did not think you'd want to talk to him. 1059 00:46:00,132 --> 00:46:03,056 - I don't want to talk to him! - See? I knew that! I knew that! 1060 00:46:03,135 --> 00:46:05,478 He asked me, "Does he still pleasure himself?“" 1061 00:46:05,554 --> 00:46:07,806 - Oh, my God! - And I said, “I have no idea!“ 1062 00:46:08,349 --> 00:46:10,818 Carol! This is enough! 1063 00:46:10,893 --> 00:46:13,190 [shouts] Bruce! I want to have sex! 1064 00:46:13,271 --> 00:46:14,568 [dog whines] 1065 00:46:15,273 --> 00:46:16,740 Hello. 1066 00:46:19,735 --> 00:46:20,907 [nuffs] 1067 00:46:20,987 --> 00:46:22,239 Excuse me. 1068 00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:24,490 [both sigh] 1069 00:46:24,572 --> 00:46:27,668 Okay, come on, baby. Get your leg up there. 1070 00:46:27,742 --> 00:46:28,869 [grunts] 1071 00:46:29,286 --> 00:46:30,583 Goddang it. 1072 00:46:30,663 --> 00:46:31,664 [engine fails] 1073 00:46:31,746 --> 00:46:32,793 Come on. 1074 00:46:33,164 --> 00:46:35,713 What, you can't get it turned on, huh? 1075 00:46:52,268 --> 00:46:54,362 Hi. Do you have a reservation? 1076 00:46:54,436 --> 00:46:56,360 No, actually I'm meeting someone. 1077 00:46:56,438 --> 00:46:58,157 His name is George. 1078 00:46:58,231 --> 00:46:59,824 He's a tax accountant. 1079 00:47:01,152 --> 00:47:03,074 Right. Follow me. 1080 00:47:05,905 --> 00:47:07,657 Enjoy your meal. 1081 00:47:07,742 --> 00:47:09,414 Hey, you have arms! 1082 00:47:09,952 --> 00:47:11,875 It would've been fine if you didn't, but it's... 1083 00:47:11,954 --> 00:47:13,331 better that you do. Hey. 1084 00:47:13,414 --> 00:47:16,963 So nice to... Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'll take care of it. 1085 00:47:17,043 --> 00:47:19,420 This is why I don't leave the house. 1086 00:47:22,047 --> 00:47:25,722 - Shall we start again? - I'm afraid to reenter. 1087 00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:27,177 Nah. 1088 00:47:27,260 --> 00:47:29,855 We can take it right from here. 1089 00:47:30,306 --> 00:47:31,431 [Sharon] Okay. 1090 00:47:32,932 --> 00:47:34,480 So, what about you? 1091 00:47:35,311 --> 00:47:37,733 - You work? - Um, yes. 1092 00:47:37,813 --> 00:47:40,532 Actually, I'm currently working on my drinking. [Chuckles] 1093 00:47:40,608 --> 00:47:42,076 [both laugh] 1094 00:47:42,443 --> 00:47:44,195 You have a nice laugh. 1095 00:47:46,197 --> 00:47:47,494 Thank you. 1096 00:47:48,032 --> 00:47:50,000 Actually, I'm a federal judge. 1097 00:47:50,451 --> 00:47:51,748 Wow. 1098 00:47:52,786 --> 00:47:54,505 - Really? - Yeah. 1099 00:47:55,539 --> 00:47:59,293 And I do have the power to put you in handcuffs. 1100 00:47:59,376 --> 00:48:01,596 I don't know why I said that. Really. 1101 00:48:01,670 --> 00:48:03,467 I'm sorry. I... 1102 00:48:04,005 --> 00:48:06,849 I was guessing what you might be thinking and... 1103 00:48:06,925 --> 00:48:09,429 I mean, not you, but men. 1104 00:48:09,512 --> 00:48:12,856 Not like all men think the same, but... 1105 00:48:13,681 --> 00:48:16,150 I'm sorry I'm not better at this, but this is... 1106 00:48:16,226 --> 00:48:17,353 Whoa. 1107 00:48:18,228 --> 00:48:19,572 Can I make a confession? 1108 00:48:20,021 --> 00:48:22,945 Uh, I changed my shirt today six times 1109 00:48:23,025 --> 00:48:24,697 and I only have five shirts. 1110 00:48:25,652 --> 00:48:28,327 And the irony is that they're all exactly alike. 1111 00:48:28,655 --> 00:48:30,657 Blue, button-down, Brooks Brothers. 1112 00:48:30,740 --> 00:48:32,869 Well, who doesn't love Brooks Brothers? 1113 00:48:32,952 --> 00:48:34,498 Not this guy. 1114 00:48:35,246 --> 00:48:37,123 When did dating get so complicated? 1115 00:48:37,206 --> 00:48:39,880 I mean, it used to be you'd go to a dance 1116 00:48:39,958 --> 00:48:43,213 and bada-boom bada-bing, you'd get married and pregnant. 1117 00:48:43,295 --> 00:48:45,467 Now you have to come up with 1118 00:48:45,547 --> 00:48:47,925 earth-shattering theories on life 1119 00:48:48,007 --> 00:48:51,728 before you even get a "wink." What is that, a "wink“ online? 1120 00:48:51,804 --> 00:48:55,980 You know, you are so much better at this than you think you are. 1121 00:48:58,018 --> 00:48:59,440 Thank you. 1122 00:48:59,519 --> 00:49:01,237 You are too, for the record. 1123 00:49:02,063 --> 00:49:05,237 All my past relationships taught me one thing. 1124 00:49:06,693 --> 00:49:08,367 I can't sleep with men. 1125 00:49:08,445 --> 00:49:11,324 Well, now, there's a revelation I was not expecting. 1126 00:49:11,407 --> 00:49:14,411 No, but sex is fine. I just can't sleep. 1127 00:49:15,452 --> 00:49:17,329 Okay, that makes more sense. 1128 00:49:17,413 --> 00:49:20,007 Now I can focus on what you're gonna say next. 1129 00:49:20,081 --> 00:49:22,880 I can't understand how men can sleep anywhere. 1130 00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,054 On the floor, in a bed, on a couch. 1131 00:49:25,128 --> 00:49:27,302 I'm staring at the ceiling and they're off 1132 00:49:27,380 --> 00:49:29,429 in some blissful dreamscape. 1133 00:49:30,467 --> 00:49:34,563 Well, they say that bad sleep is a sign of a bad relationship. 1134 00:49:34,637 --> 00:49:36,981 Yeah, well, I can attest to that. 1135 00:49:38,349 --> 00:49:40,226 - Thank you. - Thank you. 1136 00:49:40,311 --> 00:49:41,608 Wow. 1137 00:49:42,688 --> 00:49:44,985 I never thought I'd be back here again. 1138 00:49:45,398 --> 00:49:46,445 Me, neither. 1139 00:49:47,443 --> 00:49:48,489 Here we go. 1140 00:49:50,778 --> 00:49:51,780 [moans appreciatively] 1141 00:49:52,907 --> 00:49:56,501 - Is it as good as you remember? - Maybe better. 1142 00:50:00,664 --> 00:50:02,132 Let me ask you a question. 1143 00:50:02,833 --> 00:50:05,130 What's your favorite thing in the whole world? 1144 00:50:06,378 --> 00:50:08,130 Well, that's a very broad question. 1145 00:50:08,213 --> 00:50:09,340 Um... 1146 00:50:11,175 --> 00:50:12,518 Arm tickles. 1147 00:50:12,592 --> 00:50:15,016 - Come on. - No, without a doubt. 1148 00:50:15,637 --> 00:50:18,516 No, it's true. I'm a girl of simple pleasures. 1149 00:50:18,599 --> 00:50:21,443 [laughs] Says the girl with a staff of 150! 1150 00:50:21,518 --> 00:50:23,237 Ah, but it would be so much better 1151 00:50:23,311 --> 00:50:25,313 if they were all tickling my arms. 1152 00:50:30,402 --> 00:50:33,451 You know what I love to do that I never do anymore? 1153 00:50:34,072 --> 00:50:38,873 Listen to a full album on vinyl from beginning to end. 1154 00:50:40,579 --> 00:50:43,458 Vinyl sure has made a comeback, hasn't it? 1155 00:50:43,831 --> 00:50:46,335 Well, some things stand the test of time. 1156 00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:51,005 That they do. 1157 00:50:56,762 --> 00:50:59,731 [romantic music playing] 1158 00:51:18,074 --> 00:51:19,543 [music stops] 1159 00:51:19,617 --> 00:51:20,789 [instructor claps] 1160 00:51:20,869 --> 00:51:22,996 Dance is about connection. 1161 00:51:23,246 --> 00:51:25,375 It can't just be routine. 1162 00:51:25,456 --> 00:51:28,255 Moving in unison is not the same as dancing. 1163 00:51:30,128 --> 00:51:31,175 Right. 1164 00:51:32,797 --> 00:51:34,050 [sighs] 1165 00:51:34,425 --> 00:51:36,052 [Carol] I think we're done for the night. 1166 00:51:37,177 --> 00:51:38,224 Sorry. 1167 00:51:49,856 --> 00:51:53,612 I was 14. She was 17. She could drive a car. 1168 00:51:54,152 --> 00:51:57,032 And she was sitting behind the wheel. 1169 00:51:57,114 --> 00:51:58,956 She said, “Come here.“ 1170 00:52:01,367 --> 00:52:02,914 This is me. 1171 00:52:03,996 --> 00:52:05,748 Thank you for making tonight so easy. 1172 00:52:05,831 --> 00:52:08,835 Oh... It was a great, great pleasure. 1173 00:52:14,882 --> 00:52:16,976 Um, I have to ask you this. 1174 00:52:17,050 --> 00:52:18,927 First of all, I think you're great. 1175 00:52:19,010 --> 00:52:22,059 And second, I know that the chances of this 1176 00:52:22,139 --> 00:52:25,438 going past this evening are slim, but... 1177 00:52:26,309 --> 00:52:28,027 would you mind if I... 1178 00:52:28,603 --> 00:52:29,947 kissed you? 1179 00:52:30,021 --> 00:52:31,318 If I had a nickel 1180 00:52:31,398 --> 00:52:33,365 for every time someone asked me that. 1181 00:52:33,442 --> 00:52:36,286 All right, all right. I'll just rewind the tape about 3O seconds. 1182 00:52:36,362 --> 00:52:38,114 Shut up and kiss me. 1183 00:52:40,199 --> 00:52:41,451 Oh, hell. 1184 00:52:54,505 --> 00:52:55,802 [clears throat] 1185 00:52:57,090 --> 00:52:59,594 I think this belongs to you. 1186 00:53:05,099 --> 00:53:06,521 Thank you. 1187 00:53:08,726 --> 00:53:10,695 [Sharon] Ginsburger! 1188 00:53:24,117 --> 00:53:26,711 Ooh. I'm gonna need a bigger back seat. 1189 00:53:28,871 --> 00:53:32,501 Paging Dr. Derek. 1190 00:53:37,047 --> 00:53:38,469 - [Adrianne] Is this good? - Uh-huh. 1191 00:53:38,548 --> 00:53:40,391 This is fine, this is totally fine. 1192 00:53:40,467 --> 00:53:41,889 Okay. 1193 00:53:44,304 --> 00:53:46,853 I love how your generation still feels the need 1194 00:53:46,931 --> 00:53:48,525 to get fancy for air travel. 1195 00:53:48,599 --> 00:53:49,943 It's so cute. 1196 00:53:51,436 --> 00:53:52,688 [Diane] Okay... 1197 00:53:52,771 --> 00:53:55,023 - Call me when you get back to I.A. - Of course. 1198 00:53:55,106 --> 00:53:56,574 - I love you. - I love you, too. 1199 00:53:56,650 --> 00:53:58,117 - Be safe. - Bye-bye. 1200 00:53:58,193 --> 00:53:59,911 - Love you. - Love you! 1201 00:54:00,737 --> 00:54:02,206 [groans] 1202 00:54:09,079 --> 00:54:10,456 [groans] 1203 00:54:13,625 --> 00:54:15,376 Quite an escape, Houdini. 1204 00:54:16,335 --> 00:54:19,306 Oh, God. I can't believe I'm doing this. 1205 00:54:19,380 --> 00:54:21,634 [pop music playing] 1206 00:54:28,347 --> 00:54:30,726 [inaudible] 1207 00:54:44,864 --> 00:54:46,492 [inaudible] 1208 00:54:48,494 --> 00:54:49,791 You know, I can't get over it. 1209 00:54:49,869 --> 00:54:53,248 Honestly, I'm not sure I've ever seen a prettier sky. 1210 00:54:53,331 --> 00:54:55,755 - Mmm. - Right? 1211 00:54:55,833 --> 00:54:57,882 - Cheers. - Oh, cheers, okay. 1212 00:54:57,960 --> 00:54:59,177 Boom. 1213 00:54:59,505 --> 00:55:00,972 Can I show you something? 1214 00:55:01,757 --> 00:55:03,509 - Sure. - Come with me. 1215 00:55:03,592 --> 00:55:04,592 What are we doing? Wait. 1216 00:55:04,675 --> 00:55:06,849 - Are you nervous? - Oh... Should I be? 1217 00:55:06,929 --> 00:55:08,101 Mm-hmm. 1218 00:55:08,179 --> 00:55:09,853 I'm not sure I've ever met anybody 1219 00:55:09,931 --> 00:55:12,606 who owned their own barn before. 1220 00:55:13,143 --> 00:55:15,110 You got to get out of the city more often. 1221 00:55:15,186 --> 00:55:18,190 Uh-huh. Oh, no, wait, no. Forget it. 1222 00:55:18,273 --> 00:55:20,947 There is no chance in hell I'm getting into that thing. 1223 00:55:21,025 --> 00:55:22,277 No. No! 1224 00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:24,409 You're gonna love it. It's gonna be great. 1225 00:55:24,487 --> 00:55:26,956 I'm sorry, but... What are you talking about? 1226 00:55:27,032 --> 00:55:28,454 No, I'm not getting in there. 1227 00:55:28,534 --> 00:55:30,786 These are the controls. Don't touch anything. 1228 00:55:30,869 --> 00:55:32,211 If you touch it, we'll crash. 1229 00:55:33,038 --> 00:55:34,914 - Don't say that. - I'm kidding. 1230 00:55:34,998 --> 00:55:36,965 This is my baby, okay? 1231 00:55:37,041 --> 00:55:39,010 See that "B“ there? You see?" 1232 00:55:39,085 --> 00:55:42,715 - It's a Beechcraft Bonanza V-Tail. - Okay. 1233 00:55:42,797 --> 00:55:45,425 And it's been my passion project for the last... 1234 00:55:46,009 --> 00:55:47,181 20 years. 1235 00:55:47,260 --> 00:55:49,434 Twenty years! Wait a minute. How old is this thing? 1236 00:55:49,512 --> 00:55:51,686 - It's a 1951. - Whoa! 1237 00:55:51,764 --> 00:55:53,983 I'm a 1951! Let me out of here! 1238 00:55:54,059 --> 00:55:55,686 No, seriously. 1239 00:55:55,768 --> 00:55:57,987 - Okay, we're going up. - Wait, no. 1240 00:55:58,063 --> 00:55:59,280 I'm gonna regret this! 1241 00:56:06,405 --> 00:56:09,954 Oh, please. No, no, you have a death wish. Death wish! 1242 00:56:10,032 --> 00:56:12,411 - Please. - We're all gonna die someday, Diane. 1243 00:56:12,786 --> 00:56:16,085 I just feel like it's worth living a little bit while we still can. 1244 00:56:16,164 --> 00:56:17,710 [screams] 1245 00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:19,918 [pop music playing] 1246 00:56:28,510 --> 00:56:30,137 [inaudible] 1247 00:56:36,476 --> 00:56:38,318 Overwhelming, huh? 1248 00:56:38,394 --> 00:56:39,771 Wanna hold on to the... 1249 00:56:39,855 --> 00:56:42,324 - Oh, okay. - Just hold on to it. 1250 00:56:42,398 --> 00:56:43,742 I'll hold on. 1251 00:56:48,112 --> 00:56:49,534 - No! - See that? 1252 00:56:49,614 --> 00:56:50,661 Yes. 1253 00:56:55,286 --> 00:56:57,255 Oh, no, that's... 1254 00:57:01,501 --> 00:57:04,094 - I'm gonna bank, to the right. - You're gonna bank? 1255 00:57:07,507 --> 00:57:09,009 [Diane] Oh... 1256 00:57:09,092 --> 00:57:10,559 [Mitchell] You know what that is? 1257 00:57:10,635 --> 00:57:13,059 Yes. That's Cathedral Rock. 1258 00:57:13,137 --> 00:57:14,606 That's right. 1259 00:57:15,389 --> 00:57:17,938 Oh, my God. 1260 00:57:38,829 --> 00:57:40,206 [sighs] 1261 00:57:49,715 --> 00:57:51,184 [whinnyiflg] 1262 00:57:53,512 --> 00:57:55,139 And all this, though, from being a pilot 1263 00:57:55,222 --> 00:57:57,974 - is what you're saying, right? This? - No. 1264 00:57:58,057 --> 00:57:59,934 - No? - No, what happened was 1265 00:58:00,018 --> 00:58:01,690 I got out of the Air Force, 1266 00:58:01,769 --> 00:58:05,239 and I went to work for this aeronautical research lab. 1267 00:58:05,315 --> 00:58:08,568 And, you know, I came up with this design that... 1268 00:58:09,068 --> 00:58:11,492 that reduced engine drag in a jet. 1269 00:58:11,570 --> 00:58:13,572 It's silly, but it's a big patent, 1270 00:58:13,657 --> 00:58:16,456 and this is what happened right here. See? 1271 00:58:16,534 --> 00:58:18,161 [cell phone vibrating] 1272 00:58:20,539 --> 00:58:22,632 You're gonna have to introduce me to your family. 1273 00:58:22,708 --> 00:58:24,005 When can I meet them? 1274 00:58:24,083 --> 00:58:26,302 - I don't think that's a good idea. - Why? 1275 00:58:26,378 --> 00:58:29,382 Because they're still very sensitive about their father and... 1276 00:58:30,632 --> 00:58:32,054 What about you? 1277 00:58:34,927 --> 00:58:37,181 Well, I'm... I mean, I loved him. 1278 00:58:38,889 --> 00:58:42,110 But I guess I realized I was in mourning 1279 00:58:42,184 --> 00:58:43,983 for the end of something. 1280 00:58:44,061 --> 00:58:45,483 It's been a long time. 1281 00:58:45,938 --> 00:58:48,737 I mean, I guess, I don't know, the world sees your... 1282 00:58:49,483 --> 00:58:50,952 your relationship in one way, 1283 00:58:51,027 --> 00:58:53,326 you just kind of go along, but... 1284 00:58:53,405 --> 00:58:55,157 then the truth is... 1285 00:58:56,657 --> 00:58:58,786 it had been over between us for a long time. 1286 00:58:59,827 --> 00:59:00,954 So... 1287 00:59:01,704 --> 00:59:03,172 what do you think of that? 1288 00:59:04,458 --> 00:59:06,300 You don't want to hear my sad story, do you? 1289 00:59:06,376 --> 00:59:08,003 Maybe you should tell me yours. 1290 00:59:08,085 --> 00:59:09,554 [Mitchell] I don't have a sad story. 1291 00:59:09,628 --> 00:59:12,132 [Diane] You don't have a sad story 'cause you're rich. 1292 00:59:12,215 --> 00:59:14,512 It's been 24 hours and there's still no answer. 1293 00:59:14,592 --> 00:59:16,014 Okay, I'm sure she's fine. 1294 00:59:16,094 --> 00:59:17,516 You're so sure everything is fine! 1295 00:59:17,596 --> 00:59:19,356 She could be passed out in a ditch somewhere! 1296 00:59:19,431 --> 00:59:21,853 Adrianne, please calm down. 1297 00:59:21,932 --> 00:59:24,561 - I'm calling Jill. - You're being hormonal! 1298 00:59:25,478 --> 00:59:26,731 [vibrates] 1299 00:59:40,786 --> 00:59:42,288 [vibrates] 1300 00:59:47,541 --> 00:59:51,262 [pop music playing] 1301 01:00:01,514 --> 01:00:03,108 Sharon, is that you? 1302 01:00:04,684 --> 01:00:06,777 Tom? Hi. 1303 01:00:06,853 --> 01:00:08,355 Wow! Hi! 1304 01:00:08,438 --> 01:00:09,780 Hi... 1305 01:00:10,148 --> 01:00:12,242 - Unexpected. - Yeah. 1306 01:00:16,737 --> 01:00:18,239 Your hair's... dark. 1307 01:00:18,322 --> 01:00:19,324 Oh, it's dyed. 1308 01:00:19,407 --> 01:00:21,956 - I know. - Right, right. 1309 01:00:22,034 --> 01:00:23,536 I want to introduce you to someone. 1310 01:00:23,619 --> 01:00:24,963 Oh, actually, I have to... 1311 01:00:25,038 --> 01:00:26,585 [Tom] Babe! Come here. 1312 01:00:27,206 --> 01:00:29,800 Babe, babe, I want you to meet Sharon. 1313 01:00:29,876 --> 01:00:31,923 Sharon, this is my fiancée, Cheryl. 1314 01:00:32,003 --> 01:00:34,552 It is so nice to meet you! 1315 01:00:34,630 --> 01:00:36,257 I've heard so much about you. 1316 01:00:36,340 --> 01:00:37,842 Sharon? 1317 01:00:37,925 --> 01:00:39,518 Excuse me, are you Sharon? 1318 01:00:39,594 --> 01:00:41,516 - Yeah. - I'm so sorry I'm late. 1319 01:00:41,596 --> 01:00:44,769 I was in a complicated sinus surgery. 1320 01:00:44,849 --> 01:00:46,648 Don't ask. [Chuckles] 1321 01:00:46,726 --> 01:00:48,603 Hi, I'm Dr. Derek. 1322 01:00:48,686 --> 01:00:50,188 You can just call me Derek. 1323 01:00:50,271 --> 01:00:51,398 Hi, I'm Tom. 1324 01:00:51,481 --> 01:00:53,949 - Kill me now. - I'm sorry, who are you? 1325 01:00:54,025 --> 01:00:57,528 Dr. Derek. Derek. Sharon's date. 1326 01:00:57,612 --> 01:01:00,490 - Wow. - Hi. I am Cheryl. 1327 01:01:01,032 --> 01:01:03,581 I didn't know you were seeing someone. That's great. 1328 01:01:03,659 --> 01:01:06,664 You look so amazing without your mask! 1329 01:01:07,831 --> 01:01:10,175 [coos] Oh, how sweet. 1330 01:01:10,625 --> 01:01:13,128 You should bring Dr. Derek to the party next week. 1331 01:01:13,210 --> 01:01:15,213 - What? - The double-engagement party. 1332 01:01:15,297 --> 01:01:16,344 Didn't Jared tell you? 1333 01:01:16,547 --> 01:01:17,788 [Tom] Cheryl and I got engaged. 1334 01:01:17,840 --> 01:01:20,219 We've having a little celebration with our friends. 1335 01:01:20,302 --> 01:01:22,429 But it really is for Jared and Kate. 1336 01:01:22,512 --> 01:01:24,764 - [Cheryl] We would so love to have you. - [Tom] Yes. 1337 01:01:24,847 --> 01:01:26,976 - And you, too, Doctor. - [Tom] Yeah. 1338 01:01:27,057 --> 01:01:29,527 Well, that sounds so nice! 1339 01:01:29,603 --> 01:01:32,856 Say, do you need a DJ? I do that on the side. 1340 01:01:32,938 --> 01:01:34,407 Ooh! “Ooh! 1341 01:01:34,481 --> 01:01:36,701 [Torn] Do you do the vinyl or what do you do, CDs? 1342 01:01:37,235 --> 01:01:39,237 [chattering] 1343 01:01:57,380 --> 01:01:59,632 - Here you go. - Thank you. 1344 01:01:59,715 --> 01:02:01,684 You sure you're okay in the bar? 1345 01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:04,262 Yeah. It's gonna be like the good old days. 1346 01:02:06,014 --> 01:02:07,356 Cheers. 1347 01:02:31,414 --> 01:02:33,166 Ha! Am I ever. 1348 01:02:33,916 --> 01:02:36,590 Inner goddess doing the merengue, my ass! 1349 01:02:39,255 --> 01:02:41,759 So is this where you take all the boys? 1350 01:02:42,050 --> 01:02:45,019 Only the ones I don't want to be seen with at the bar. 1351 01:02:46,679 --> 01:02:48,978 Well, I'll choose to take that as a compliment. 1352 01:02:50,809 --> 01:02:52,652 Restricted area, huh? 1353 01:02:52,726 --> 01:02:54,525 [Vivian] Owner's perks. 1354 01:02:58,108 --> 01:02:59,576 Look at this. 1355 01:03:00,277 --> 01:03:02,699 A single solitary chair. 1356 01:03:02,778 --> 01:03:04,201 It's all a girl needs. 1357 01:03:04,280 --> 01:03:06,784 It's like a queen's throne atop her castle. 1358 01:03:07,784 --> 01:03:09,581 Look. Look at the view. 1359 01:03:09,994 --> 01:03:13,373 [Arthur] Yeah. Look at all those twinkling lights. 1360 01:03:13,581 --> 01:03:15,753 All those lives being lived. 1361 01:03:17,876 --> 01:03:20,721 As the poem goes, you took the road less traveled, 1362 01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:23,675 and it made... all the difference. 1363 01:03:24,675 --> 01:03:27,019 You know, that's not really what that poem is about. 1364 01:03:28,429 --> 01:03:29,726 - Is that right? - No. 1365 01:03:30,264 --> 01:03:31,686 It's, um... 1366 01:03:32,559 --> 01:03:36,405 It's about how we... We tell the story of our lives, 1367 01:03:37,063 --> 01:03:40,567 so we feel heroic, brave... 1368 01:03:41,943 --> 01:03:43,695 but in fact, there's no difference 1369 01:03:43,777 --> 01:03:45,576 in the paths to begin with. 1370 01:03:47,114 --> 01:03:48,913 - No difference in the paths? - Nope. 1371 01:03:51,786 --> 01:03:53,628 Fascinating poem. 1372 01:04:01,045 --> 01:04:02,467 Arthur, come here. 1373 01:04:02,963 --> 01:04:06,594 Look at this. You see that building with the red lights? 1374 01:04:07,385 --> 01:04:09,478 - Is that our diner? - Yeah. 1375 01:04:10,972 --> 01:04:14,067 I can't believe your hotel overlooks our favorite place. 1376 01:04:20,773 --> 01:04:23,527 According to the airline, your mother never boarded her flight. 1377 01:04:23,610 --> 01:04:25,862 - Oh, my God. - You said not to worry about it! 1378 01:04:25,945 --> 01:04:27,992 - Okay, you can worry now. - What? 1379 01:04:28,072 --> 01:04:29,244 However... 1380 01:04:29,657 --> 01:04:31,454 we did trace a signal to her cell phone. 1381 01:04:31,534 --> 01:04:33,001 - What? - Okay. 1382 01:04:33,077 --> 01:04:35,079 - What does that mean? - We know where she is. 1383 01:04:35,163 --> 01:04:37,130 - She's been kidnapped? - I did not say that. 1384 01:04:37,206 --> 01:04:38,726 - Is there a ransom? - You know where she is? 1385 01:04:38,750 --> 01:04:40,550 In a case like this, it's best to remain calm. 1386 01:04:40,626 --> 01:04:42,271 - Let's get a grip, folks. - You know where she is? 1387 01:04:42,295 --> 01:04:44,217 If you had to guess, what would you say? 1388 01:04:44,297 --> 01:04:46,014 I don't have to guess, I actually know. 1389 01:04:46,090 --> 01:04:47,568 - Well, then take us there! - Can I see the pad? 1390 01:04:47,592 --> 01:04:50,391 I can't believe you put Viagra in my beer. 1391 01:04:50,469 --> 01:04:52,438 Well, it was an innocent mistake. 1392 01:04:52,514 --> 01:04:54,891 Oh, innocent. How is it innocent? You poisoned me. 1393 01:04:54,974 --> 01:04:56,190 Hardly. 1394 01:04:56,266 --> 01:04:58,519 Do not use that word. 1395 01:04:58,603 --> 01:05:01,481 - I'm sorry. How does it feel? - Hard! 1396 01:05:01,563 --> 01:05:03,440 I thought we weren't gonna use that word. 1397 01:05:03,525 --> 01:05:05,152 I can, you can't. 1398 01:05:05,235 --> 01:05:07,237 - God, there are so many rules. - Don't, Carol! 1399 01:05:07,320 --> 01:05:09,947 - [tires squealing] - Jeez. 1400 01:05:10,030 --> 01:05:12,217 I'll tell you something, I don't think it ought to go to waste. 1401 01:05:12,242 --> 01:05:14,619 - [Bruce] Seriously! Stop it. - [Carol] Calm down. 1402 01:05:14,702 --> 01:05:16,875 [sirens blaring] 1403 01:05:16,954 --> 01:05:19,003 Really? I'm being pulled over. 1404 01:05:19,916 --> 01:05:22,213 Sir, I'm gonna need you to step out of the vehicle. 1405 01:05:22,293 --> 01:05:24,340 I don't think that's a good idea, Officer. 1406 01:05:24,420 --> 01:05:27,173 Out of the car now! 1407 01:05:27,257 --> 01:05:28,634 Okay, okay. 1408 01:05:29,384 --> 01:05:30,931 Gosh darn it. 1409 01:05:32,219 --> 01:05:33,472 Man. 1410 01:05:35,306 --> 01:05:39,561 Look, I'm sorry. Uh, my wife put Viagra in my drink. 1411 01:05:39,643 --> 01:05:41,567 It's actually true. It's my bad, I'm so sorry. 1412 01:05:41,646 --> 01:05:44,273 But you see, it's just he's been having a little trouble 1413 01:05:44,356 --> 01:05:47,280 in that department, and he was embarrassed. 1414 01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:49,579 And if there's one thing I know about this man, 1415 01:05:49,653 --> 01:05:51,577 it's that he really hates to be embarrassed. 1416 01:05:51,655 --> 01:05:52,748 Isn't that true, Pup? 1417 01:05:52,824 --> 01:05:54,300 Oh, I hate a lot of things right now. 1418 01:05:54,324 --> 01:05:56,123 That's not even in the top three. 1419 01:05:56,327 --> 01:05:58,454 Will this affect your ability to drive? 1420 01:05:58,996 --> 01:06:00,340 [Bruce] No, ma'am. Mmm-mmm. 1421 01:06:01,206 --> 01:06:02,583 Okay. 1422 01:06:03,001 --> 01:06:04,628 - Er1j0y your night. - [Bruce] Okay. 1423 01:06:05,795 --> 01:06:06,842 You, too. 1424 01:06:06,920 --> 01:06:08,514 Thank you. 1425 01:06:15,762 --> 01:06:17,264 [Mitchell] I think I like you. 1426 01:06:17,347 --> 01:06:20,601 Well, I think that's probably just the wine talking, right? 1427 01:06:21,101 --> 01:06:22,318 Wait. 1428 01:06:23,730 --> 01:06:26,449 You know what? I think I'm in trouble here. 1429 01:06:26,858 --> 01:06:29,030 - Oh, I'm well past trouble. - Yeah? 1430 01:06:29,110 --> 01:06:30,952 - [thump] - What? 1431 01:06:31,028 --> 01:06:32,530 I think I heard something. 1432 01:06:32,614 --> 01:06:34,215 It's probably just the wine talking, right? 1433 01:06:34,239 --> 01:06:35,492 [chuckling] 1434 01:06:35,574 --> 01:06:37,952 And how often does the wine talk in your world? 1435 01:06:38,036 --> 01:06:41,085 - [gate opens] - Oh, my God. Wait, who... who is that? 1436 01:06:41,914 --> 01:06:44,668 - Mom? - [Mitchell] Oh, boy. 1437 01:06:44,751 --> 01:06:46,094 [Diane shrieks] 1438 01:06:46,168 --> 01:06:48,342 - Oh, my God. - Oh, my God. 1439 01:06:48,420 --> 01:06:50,219 Oh, my God! 1440 01:06:50,297 --> 01:06:52,425 Oh, my God! Mom! 1441 01:06:52,509 --> 01:06:54,728 Honey, let me explain. 1442 01:06:54,802 --> 01:06:56,724 What the heck is happening here? 1443 01:06:56,804 --> 01:07:00,980 Hi. You must be, uh, Adrianne and Jill. 1444 01:07:01,059 --> 01:07:02,356 I'm Mitchell. 1445 01:07:02,434 --> 01:07:03,481 - Chris. - Stop it! 1446 01:07:03,561 --> 01:07:05,188 Mitchell, can you just... 1447 01:07:05,271 --> 01:07:06,318 [shrieks] 1448 01:07:06,396 --> 01:07:07,443 You Okay? 1449 01:07:07,523 --> 01:07:10,902 - [Jill] Mom! - No, please. No, I'm fine. 1450 01:07:10,985 --> 01:07:13,407 Just let me explain, okay? I'll be right back. 1451 01:07:13,487 --> 01:07:15,034 Wait, where are you going? 1452 01:07:17,449 --> 01:07:21,329 She's okay. She's perfectly... She was in good hands. Relax. 1453 01:07:21,411 --> 01:07:23,289 - You relax! - [Mitchell] No, it's okay. 1454 01:07:23,373 --> 01:07:25,420 - You relax! - We've had a long day. I'm sorry. 1455 01:07:25,500 --> 01:07:27,844 I was just trying to give us a little jumpstart. 1456 01:07:27,918 --> 01:07:30,012 I thought maybe if we had a really nice night 1457 01:07:30,088 --> 01:07:31,840 and things sort of naturally progressed, 1458 01:07:31,922 --> 01:07:34,346 then maybe we would both feel better. 1459 01:07:34,425 --> 01:07:36,802 Great plan! Congratulations on the execution. 1460 01:07:36,885 --> 01:07:40,356 Sorry. I really was just trying to help you, Bruce. 1461 01:07:40,431 --> 01:07:42,559 Help me? By never once considering 1462 01:07:42,641 --> 01:07:44,769 that I might have an opinion! 1463 01:07:45,269 --> 01:07:47,864 No, it's not just tonight. It's everything, Carol! 1464 01:07:47,938 --> 01:07:49,907 You've got me taking dance lessons. 1465 01:07:49,983 --> 01:07:54,362 Dance lessons for a talent show that I never even signed up for! 1466 01:07:54,445 --> 01:07:57,119 You've been going to my No Kid Hungry fundraiser 1467 01:07:57,197 --> 01:07:58,744 for the past 15 years. 1468 01:07:58,824 --> 01:08:00,327 You always show up for me. 1469 01:08:00,409 --> 01:08:02,161 That was for dinner. 1470 01:08:02,244 --> 01:08:03,996 Well, forgive me for trying to find ways 1471 01:08:04,079 --> 01:08:05,297 to keep us connected. 1472 01:08:05,373 --> 01:08:07,393 "Hey, Bruce, here's something you're gonna hate to do" 1473 01:08:07,416 --> 01:08:10,795 for the next two months, but in the end it'll be okay 1474 01:08:10,878 --> 01:08:14,427 because there will be an onstage public shaming! 1475 01:08:14,507 --> 01:08:16,600 "So happy anniversary!" 1476 01:08:17,760 --> 01:08:19,636 What, what? Sorry, sorry. 1477 01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:21,519 Didn't hear you at all, because my husband 1478 01:08:21,597 --> 01:08:23,770 gave me these wonderful earplugs, 1479 01:08:23,850 --> 01:08:26,273 so we wouldn't have to listen to each other anymore. 1480 01:08:26,351 --> 01:08:28,104 Happy anniversary! 1481 01:08:28,979 --> 01:08:30,573 Hey, and by the way, 1482 01:08:30,648 --> 01:08:32,287 I got us the earplugs so you wouldn't miss 1483 01:08:32,358 --> 01:08:33,734 any of your TV shows, 1484 01:08:33,818 --> 01:08:36,787 just because I happen to love to fall asleep 1485 01:08:36,863 --> 01:08:38,614 next to my wife in our bed! 1486 01:08:39,740 --> 01:08:41,538 So forgive me! 1487 01:08:43,036 --> 01:08:44,127 [bang] 1488 01:08:44,412 --> 01:08:45,833 [groans] 1489 01:08:46,747 --> 01:08:47,873 [grunts angrily] 1490 01:08:51,252 --> 01:08:52,595 [groans] 1491 01:08:54,881 --> 01:08:56,474 Okay, what are you doing? Come on. 1492 01:08:57,175 --> 01:08:58,301 Diane, I know this... 1493 01:08:58,384 --> 01:09:00,570 I know this is not the direction we hoped for this evening. 1494 01:09:00,595 --> 01:09:05,020 This is... It's such a disaster! Do you see what I mean? 1495 01:09:05,099 --> 01:09:07,773 You've got to admit it was kind of funny. A cop showed up! 1496 01:09:07,851 --> 01:09:09,354 No, it wasn't kind of funny. 1497 01:09:09,436 --> 01:09:12,064 This whole thing is just one giant mistake. 1498 01:09:12,148 --> 01:09:13,444 You don't believe that. 1499 01:09:13,524 --> 01:09:15,418 I get that it's embarrassing, but who gives a shit? 1500 01:09:15,443 --> 01:09:17,286 No, you know what? You don't get it, Mitchell. 1501 01:09:17,362 --> 01:09:19,284 You know why? Because you don't have kids. 1502 01:09:19,697 --> 01:09:22,792 Kids? They're like adults, your kids. 1503 01:09:23,743 --> 01:09:24,994 You know, 1504 01:09:25,078 --> 01:09:26,751 you're out here on your ranch, 1505 01:09:26,828 --> 01:09:28,627 with no one to take care of but yourself. 1506 01:09:28,706 --> 01:09:31,630 Okay, that's fine for you, but that's not the real world. 1507 01:09:31,958 --> 01:09:34,677 I have a family and I have responsibilities. 1508 01:09:34,753 --> 01:09:37,974 - I'm sorry, but that's my world. - I'm sure I don't understand 1509 01:09:38,048 --> 01:09:39,689 everything you're going through right now. 1510 01:09:39,716 --> 01:09:41,640 That's right. You don't have a clue. 1511 01:09:41,719 --> 01:09:45,439 Listen to me. Look at me. I know we just met. 1512 01:09:45,515 --> 01:09:48,064 But you can't spend your entire life just going around 1513 01:09:48,141 --> 01:09:49,769 taking care of other people. 1514 01:09:49,851 --> 01:09:51,819 That's also not part of the real world. 1515 01:09:51,895 --> 01:09:53,318 Okay, hey! 1516 01:09:53,648 --> 01:09:55,240 - Diane. - What? What? 1517 01:09:55,315 --> 01:09:57,193 I'm saying it's okay to be happy, Diane. 1518 01:09:58,069 --> 01:10:00,492 Well, I'm really... I'm sorry, but I have to go. 1519 01:10:33,729 --> 01:10:36,153 [rock music playing] 1520 01:11:09,681 --> 01:11:11,059 [music fades] 1521 01:11:24,363 --> 01:11:26,286 Bruce. Bruce, honey. 1522 01:11:26,783 --> 01:11:27,908 What? 1523 01:11:28,408 --> 01:11:32,083 I know I've been acting a little crazy lately. 1524 01:11:32,162 --> 01:11:35,212 And obviously I went overboard tonight. 1525 01:11:35,291 --> 01:11:36,634 Really? 1526 01:11:36,708 --> 01:11:38,381 My gosh, I hadn't noticed. 1527 01:11:40,046 --> 01:11:41,797 I am so sorry. 1528 01:11:44,257 --> 01:11:46,010 I embarrassed you... 1529 01:11:47,636 --> 01:11:49,980 and I made you feel like you didn't matter. 1530 01:11:50,430 --> 01:11:52,399 I just don't know what's been going on with you 1531 01:11:52,475 --> 01:11:55,444 for the last few months and it scares me. 1532 01:11:56,103 --> 01:11:58,480 I know what I did was wrong, and... 1533 01:11:59,774 --> 01:12:01,150 I'm sorry. 1534 01:12:03,319 --> 01:12:04,865 [sighs] 1535 01:12:04,945 --> 01:12:06,413 I got spooked. 1536 01:12:06,488 --> 01:12:08,240 Spooked? 1537 01:12:08,323 --> 01:12:10,452 Yeah, at the... 1538 01:12:12,369 --> 01:12:13,667 retirement party. 1539 01:12:13,746 --> 01:12:14,997 You know, I saw... 1540 01:12:15,997 --> 01:12:18,841 40 years just... vanish. 1541 01:12:19,417 --> 01:12:22,717 And I didn't know who I was anymore. 1542 01:12:23,672 --> 01:12:25,675 Well, what was I gonna do? 1543 01:12:26,175 --> 01:12:27,518 What can I do? 1544 01:12:28,051 --> 01:12:29,395 I got scared. 1545 01:12:30,555 --> 01:12:32,023 I am scared. 1546 01:12:33,306 --> 01:12:37,153 And I need a little time to figure out who I am again. 1547 01:12:37,561 --> 01:12:38,984 [Carol] I hear you. 1548 01:12:39,063 --> 01:12:42,738 And I'm not gonna try to fix everything on my own... 1549 01:12:44,234 --> 01:12:46,283 tempting though that may be. 1550 01:12:46,362 --> 01:12:49,036 And I'm not gonna make you do a bunch of stuff 1551 01:12:49,114 --> 01:12:51,788 that you don't want to do, like dancing at the fundraiser. 1552 01:12:51,868 --> 01:12:53,996 I know you never wanted to do that. 1553 01:12:54,078 --> 01:12:55,829 So forget it, okay? 1554 01:12:57,247 --> 01:12:58,625 I'm going to bed. 1555 01:13:06,756 --> 01:13:09,350 [Carol] Whoa, ice cream straight from the tub? 1556 01:13:09,426 --> 01:13:13,273 Yeah, well, I ran into Tom and his very happy fiancée. 1557 01:13:13,346 --> 01:13:14,724 Ah! 1558 01:13:14,806 --> 01:13:16,604 They're hosting a double-engagement party 1559 01:13:16,684 --> 01:13:18,152 at their house. 1560 01:13:18,226 --> 01:13:20,729 Oh, did I mention he calls her "babe"? 1561 01:13:20,813 --> 01:13:23,032 Which is sort of perfect since she's a child. 1562 01:13:23,106 --> 01:13:24,233 - Oh, no. - Yeah. 1563 01:13:24,317 --> 01:13:25,488 What did I miss? 1564 01:13:25,568 --> 01:13:28,195 Well, Sharon is never dating again. 1565 01:13:28,279 --> 01:13:29,872 And we're all miserable. 1566 01:13:29,947 --> 01:13:31,414 So basically nothing has changed. 1567 01:13:31,489 --> 01:13:33,037 Yeah, well... 1568 01:13:33,367 --> 01:13:37,042 Whoa. Since when do you eat ice cream? 1569 01:13:37,121 --> 01:13:38,713 [mumbles] Since now. 1570 01:13:38,788 --> 01:13:41,007 So I take it things went south for you, too? 1571 01:13:41,292 --> 01:13:43,010 I slept with Arthur. 1572 01:13:43,085 --> 01:13:44,882 Now, there's a shocker. 1573 01:13:44,962 --> 01:13:46,555 No, not sex. 1574 01:13:47,297 --> 01:13:49,971 I actually fell asleep with him. 1575 01:13:50,051 --> 01:13:52,850 You've never been able to sleep with a man before! 1576 01:13:52,929 --> 01:13:54,305 I know. 1577 01:13:54,387 --> 01:13:57,015 So, I mean... you didn't have sex? 1578 01:13:57,099 --> 01:13:59,521 We slept on a couch and he tickled my arm. 1579 01:13:59,601 --> 01:14:03,323 Oh, boy, now this is a disaster. When is he leaving? 1580 01:14:03,396 --> 01:14:05,945 Not soon enough! God, I got a brain freeze. 1581 01:14:06,399 --> 01:14:07,760 Here, give that to a professional. 1582 01:14:07,818 --> 01:14:09,286 Oh, my God! 1583 01:14:09,362 --> 01:14:11,659 Well, anyway, I have an announcement. 1584 01:14:12,573 --> 01:14:13,573 Okay. 1585 01:14:13,658 --> 01:14:14,783 I am... 1586 01:14:14,867 --> 01:14:17,711 I'm officially... moving to Arizona. 1587 01:14:17,787 --> 01:14:20,414 - What? - Oh, tell me it's for the pilot! 1588 01:14:20,497 --> 01:14:23,216 No, no, no. For my daughters. 1589 01:14:23,960 --> 01:14:25,882 This has gone from bad to worse! 1590 01:14:25,962 --> 01:14:29,261 Well, I mean, they renovated the basement for me, 1591 01:14:29,340 --> 01:14:31,012 and everything is slip resistant, 1592 01:14:31,091 --> 01:14:33,310 and I can walk into the tub. 1593 01:14:33,386 --> 01:14:34,932 - Oh, my God. - Lck. 1594 01:14:35,011 --> 01:14:36,639 But what about the pilot? 1595 01:14:36,721 --> 01:14:39,565 Crashed and burned. I mean, we're not 18 anymore. 1596 01:14:39,641 --> 01:14:41,109 Nope. 1597 01:14:41,185 --> 01:14:43,108 We're sure not spring flowers. 1598 01:14:43,186 --> 01:14:45,689 No. More like potpourri. 1599 01:14:45,773 --> 01:14:47,490 So, this is... 1600 01:14:47,565 --> 01:14:49,738 [groans] Oh, my God, this is my last book club! 1601 01:14:49,819 --> 01:14:51,570 Oh, no, you're kidding! 1602 01:14:51,654 --> 01:14:52,871 Oh, Diane! 1603 01:14:52,947 --> 01:14:55,119 Do we even want to talk about the book? 1604 01:14:55,198 --> 01:14:56,291 [groans] 1605 01:14:56,742 --> 01:14:59,039 - I hate this book, okay? Done. - [Vivian] Me, too. 1606 01:14:59,119 --> 01:15:00,212 Yeah. 1607 01:15:00,287 --> 01:15:01,708 Are we really this pathetic? 1608 01:15:01,788 --> 01:15:04,417 None of us have anything interesting to say? 1609 01:15:04,500 --> 01:15:08,550 Well, my little affair ended with me in a pool 1610 01:15:08,628 --> 01:15:10,847 on top of an inflatable swan 1611 01:15:10,922 --> 01:15:13,141 and my daughters showing up with the police! 1612 01:15:13,216 --> 01:15:16,561 Well, that certainly qualifies as interesting. 1613 01:15:16,845 --> 01:15:19,770 I'm assuming you were not in that pool alone. 1614 01:15:19,849 --> 01:15:21,442 Well... I was not. 1615 01:15:22,059 --> 01:15:23,480 Good for you. 1616 01:15:23,853 --> 01:15:26,402 Do I want to get us another one of these? 1617 01:15:26,479 --> 01:15:28,278 - Oh, yeah. - Yes! 1618 01:15:28,356 --> 01:15:29,859 [Diane] The sooner the better. 1619 01:15:31,819 --> 01:15:34,698 [pop music playing] 1620 01:15:53,131 --> 01:15:54,805 Men make life impossible. 1621 01:15:54,884 --> 01:15:56,556 Oh, God, tell me about it. 1622 01:15:56,635 --> 01:15:58,353 Well, you're one to talk. 1623 01:15:58,429 --> 01:16:02,024 Ditching God's gift to women so you can live in a basement 1624 01:16:02,099 --> 01:16:04,898 and breastfeed your daughter's children? 1625 01:16:04,976 --> 01:16:07,729 You know something? That's really rich coming from you. 1626 01:16:07,813 --> 01:16:10,362 You've been stuck on Torn for 18 years, 1627 01:16:10,440 --> 01:16:12,318 and you don't even like the guy. 1628 01:16:12,400 --> 01:16:13,823 He's not at your level. 1629 01:16:13,903 --> 01:16:16,782 Eighteen years ago, you couldn't wait to get rid of him. 1630 01:16:16,863 --> 01:16:20,493 But you've conveniently erased that little piece of history. 1631 01:16:20,743 --> 01:16:23,872 Wish I could erase a little piece of my history. 1632 01:16:23,953 --> 01:16:25,126 [Diane sighs] 1633 01:16:25,206 --> 01:16:26,752 - Well... - What? 1634 01:16:26,832 --> 01:16:28,833 I was fine until Arthur came along. 1635 01:16:28,917 --> 01:16:30,465 I had a happy existence. 1636 01:16:30,543 --> 01:16:32,011 Had a roster of men 1637 01:16:32,087 --> 01:16:34,261 that would satisfy my every whim. 1638 01:16:34,340 --> 01:16:37,890 Oh, my God, I can't listen to this anymore. 1639 01:16:37,967 --> 01:16:40,971 You really believe you're satisfied? How could you be? 1640 01:16:41,055 --> 01:16:42,898 You're so terrified of getting hurt 1641 01:16:42,972 --> 01:16:46,193 that you do everything you can to push away love. 1642 01:16:46,268 --> 01:16:47,940 [sighs] 1643 01:16:48,895 --> 01:16:52,149 I'm gonna go back to having sex and not caring. 1644 01:16:52,233 --> 01:16:54,030 Because that's what works for me, okay? 1645 01:16:54,109 --> 01:16:56,363 Stop lying to yourself, Vivian. 1646 01:16:56,444 --> 01:16:58,788 Not everything in the world is about sex. 1647 01:16:58,863 --> 01:17:00,662 Did you even read the book? 1648 01:17:00,949 --> 01:17:02,747 This is a love story. 1649 01:17:02,827 --> 01:17:05,796 That is what the world wants. That's what the world needs. 1650 01:17:05,871 --> 01:17:09,000 So, okay, you can have sex with anybody. 1651 01:17:09,082 --> 01:17:10,801 Well, whoop-de-fricking-do. 1652 01:17:10,876 --> 01:17:12,877 But you know what? Eventually, people need 1653 01:17:12,962 --> 01:17:14,805 a little bit more than that. 1654 01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:19,555 Everybody's got baggage and pain and problems, but... 1655 01:17:20,344 --> 01:17:22,893 even Christian Grey fell in love. 1656 01:17:22,971 --> 01:17:26,192 Yeah, and he was fifty shades of fucked-up. 1657 01:17:26,266 --> 01:17:27,484 So... 1658 01:17:28,560 --> 01:17:29,813 here you go. 1659 01:17:29,895 --> 01:17:33,524 Book three? I am not sure we'll survive another one. 1660 01:17:33,606 --> 01:17:35,701 Oh... Oh, God. 1661 01:17:39,279 --> 01:17:40,577 God, I... 1662 01:17:41,114 --> 01:17:44,618 I really am gonna miss this. Right? 1663 01:17:44,702 --> 01:17:46,625 [Vivian] Oh, honey. 1664 01:17:57,715 --> 01:17:59,466 - Have a good drive. - Thanks again. 1665 01:18:01,551 --> 01:18:02,849 [sighs] 1666 01:18:08,184 --> 01:18:09,310 Ginsburg. 1667 01:18:10,769 --> 01:18:12,737 What's happening here? 1668 01:18:12,813 --> 01:18:16,033 [°°°$] Huh, honey? What's happening? 1669 01:18:31,916 --> 01:18:34,590 [Diane] Look at you. Look at you. 1670 01:18:34,667 --> 01:18:36,886 Yeah, yeah. Look at you. 1671 01:18:48,765 --> 01:18:50,814 [cell phone ringing] 1672 01:18:53,311 --> 01:18:54,564 [ringing Stops] 1673 01:18:57,233 --> 01:18:58,529 [door closes] 1674 01:19:02,947 --> 01:19:04,414 You're not taking my calls. 1675 01:19:04,948 --> 01:19:07,042 I don't have my phone with me. 1676 01:19:07,368 --> 01:19:09,837 [cell phone ringing] 1677 01:19:09,912 --> 01:19:11,413 [ringing Stops] 1678 01:19:13,916 --> 01:19:16,168 Do you know why I first started on radio? 1679 01:19:16,877 --> 01:19:18,094 No, I don't. 1680 01:19:18,170 --> 01:19:20,092 Because I loved the idea 1681 01:19:20,171 --> 01:19:23,391 of no matter what I said or what music I played... 1682 01:19:24,510 --> 01:19:26,103 millions of people could just 1683 01:19:26,177 --> 01:19:28,055 turn on their radios and hear it. 1684 01:19:32,016 --> 01:19:33,894 But then as I got older... 1685 01:19:34,353 --> 01:19:36,150 I realized that... 1686 01:19:37,480 --> 01:19:39,198 reaching millions and millions 1687 01:19:39,274 --> 01:19:40,902 of anonymous people... 1688 01:19:41,694 --> 01:19:43,695 doesn't come close... 1689 01:19:44,070 --> 01:19:47,166 to reaching just one person you love. 1690 01:19:51,578 --> 01:19:54,331 And I'm... I'm leaving tomorrow. 1691 01:19:56,708 --> 01:19:58,461 And it got me thinking... 1692 01:20:00,378 --> 01:20:02,256 wouldn't it be nice if... 1693 01:20:02,338 --> 01:20:04,557 you were coming with me to New York? 1694 01:20:05,842 --> 01:20:08,766 But then I thought about it and I thought about you... 1695 01:20:10,014 --> 01:20:12,436 and your hotel and your rooftop... 1696 01:20:13,891 --> 01:20:17,065 and your inability to make proper wishes. 1697 01:20:19,148 --> 01:20:22,368 I have no interest in trying to change you, Vivian. 1698 01:20:24,569 --> 01:20:26,162 I love who you are. 1699 01:20:27,363 --> 01:20:29,287 Rich and independent... 1700 01:20:30,367 --> 01:20:31,960 and a total pain in the ass. 1701 01:20:33,162 --> 01:20:35,789 That does sound like... like me. 1702 01:20:36,497 --> 01:20:39,717 And here we are, staring at two paths. 1703 01:20:42,003 --> 01:20:43,631 And I know how I feel. 1704 01:20:45,256 --> 01:20:47,850 I know that you're the person that I want to talk to. 1705 01:20:49,386 --> 01:20:51,684 You're the person I want to listen to. 1706 01:20:53,181 --> 01:20:56,481 You're the person I want to splash in the fountain. 1707 01:20:59,563 --> 01:21:01,439 You're my person, Slim. 1708 01:21:08,738 --> 01:21:11,787 And I just wanted to know what you thought about that. 1709 01:21:18,332 --> 01:21:21,926 It's... It's been really nice seeing you again, Arthur. 1710 01:21:22,877 --> 01:21:24,971 I hope you have a safe trip home. 1711 01:21:32,887 --> 01:21:34,640 [sighs] 1712 01:21:36,182 --> 01:21:38,685 [laughter] 1713 01:21:38,769 --> 01:21:41,021 [chattering] 1714 01:21:43,815 --> 01:21:45,738 [calypso music playing] 1715 01:21:45,818 --> 01:21:47,319 - Hi. - I-u. 1716 01:21:58,622 --> 01:22:02,252 Hi, everybody. I'd like to take a second to say a few words. 1717 01:22:02,333 --> 01:22:05,337 As most of you know, I'm Tom Meyers, Jared's dad. 1718 01:22:05,421 --> 01:22:07,422 On behalf of my fiancée, Cheryl, and myself, 1719 01:22:07,506 --> 01:22:08,905 I want to thank you all for coming. 1720 01:22:08,966 --> 01:22:10,809 Kate, we're so excited t0 welcome you 1721 01:22:10,884 --> 01:22:12,476 and invite you into the family. 1722 01:22:12,845 --> 01:22:16,349 - Jared, we are so very happy for you. - Thanks, Dad. 1723 01:22:16,431 --> 01:22:20,061 As Shakespeare said, "Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind." 1724 01:22:20,351 --> 01:22:22,024 How right he was. 1725 01:22:22,104 --> 01:22:23,822 Love takes thought and care, 1726 01:22:23,896 --> 01:22:26,775 and I'm glad that all the plus columns lined up. 1727 01:22:26,859 --> 01:22:27,951 [laughter] 1728 01:22:28,025 --> 01:22:30,448 Kate, you're getting one of the good ones. 1729 01:22:30,529 --> 01:22:32,452 [all] Aww... 1730 01:22:33,614 --> 01:22:36,288 Sorry, I said I wouldn't do this. To Jared and Kate. 1731 01:22:38,537 --> 01:22:40,585 [guests] Cheers! 1732 01:22:45,543 --> 01:22:46,591 Oh! 1733 01:22:48,337 --> 01:22:49,930 I didn't mean to do that, sorry. 1734 01:22:50,256 --> 01:22:52,680 Um, as... as few... 1735 01:22:53,051 --> 01:22:54,724 Well, if any of you know, 1736 01:22:54,802 --> 01:22:57,305 I'm Jared's mother, Judge Meyers. 1737 01:22:58,181 --> 01:22:59,307 Or Sharon. 1738 01:23:00,184 --> 01:23:01,730 I just wanted to say, 1739 01:23:01,810 --> 01:23:04,359 I don't think that's what Shakespeare had in mind 1740 01:23:04,438 --> 01:23:05,984 when he wrote those lines. 1741 01:23:06,939 --> 01:23:10,034 He was saying Cupid is blind. 1742 01:23:10,444 --> 01:23:12,822 He wasn't saying that people should go 1743 01:23:12,904 --> 01:23:15,703 think themselves into love 1744 01:23:15,782 --> 01:23:18,251 and a system of pluses or minuses. 1745 01:23:18,327 --> 01:23:20,078 - Oh! - [Sharon] But whatever. 1746 01:23:20,162 --> 01:23:23,131 Anyway, when I look at my son... 1747 01:23:23,748 --> 01:23:26,502 I am so proud of him because... 1748 01:23:27,211 --> 01:23:30,305 he has had the courage to put himself out there, 1749 01:23:30,546 --> 01:23:33,265 and he's found someone to make him happy. 1750 01:23:34,717 --> 01:23:36,345 That's inspiring. 1751 01:23:36,970 --> 01:23:39,644 Even for someone as old as me. 1752 01:23:39,722 --> 01:23:41,395 [laughter] 1753 01:23:42,100 --> 01:23:43,568 The truth is... 1754 01:23:44,560 --> 01:23:47,689 love is not blind, and it's not a battlefield, 1755 01:23:47,773 --> 01:23:51,323 and it's not the sun or the moon or everything we load onto it. 1756 01:23:52,778 --> 01:23:56,122 It's just a word until someone gives it meaning. 1757 01:23:57,740 --> 01:24:00,493 And that's what the two of you have found in each other. 1758 01:24:00,577 --> 01:24:02,829 In fact, all four of you. 1759 01:24:02,912 --> 01:24:05,006 And we all deserve that. 1760 01:24:05,373 --> 01:24:06,591 Well done. 1761 01:24:07,583 --> 01:24:08,585 [guests] Cheers! 1762 01:24:08,668 --> 01:24:10,216 [Tom] Kate and Jared. 1763 01:24:12,213 --> 01:24:14,932 [cell phone ringing] 1764 01:24:20,055 --> 01:24:21,431 [groans] 1765 01:24:22,349 --> 01:24:23,349 [groans] Hello? 1766 01:24:23,391 --> 01:24:25,203 [hotel operator] Miss O'Donnell, I'm calling to confirm 1767 01:24:25,226 --> 01:24:27,320 that Mr. Riley has officially checked out. 1768 01:24:27,729 --> 01:24:28,980 Thank you. 1769 01:24:31,942 --> 01:24:33,909 [doorbell ringing] 1770 01:24:33,985 --> 01:24:35,703 [door opening] 1771 01:24:37,530 --> 01:24:39,578 Hi, sweetie. 1772 01:24:39,658 --> 01:24:41,204 - Hey. 1773 01:24:41,284 --> 01:24:44,163 What happened? We've been trying to call all afternoon. 1774 01:24:44,787 --> 01:24:46,414 [Diane] What, you're still in a robe? 1775 01:24:46,497 --> 01:24:48,751 [Sharon] Carol's show starts in an hour. 1776 01:24:49,167 --> 01:24:51,215 I saw Arthur last night. 1777 01:24:51,295 --> 01:24:52,421 Oh, fun. 1778 01:24:52,503 --> 01:24:55,974 No! I broke up with him once and for all. 1779 01:24:56,048 --> 01:24:57,220 [gasps] 1780 01:24:57,301 --> 01:24:58,644 - [Vivian] I did. - What happened? 1781 01:24:58,719 --> 01:25:00,595 He told me he wanted to invite me 1782 01:25:00,679 --> 01:25:01,975 to move to New York with him, 1783 01:25:02,055 --> 01:25:04,103 but he realized he didn't want to change me 1784 01:25:04,181 --> 01:25:06,354 because he loves me the way I am. 1785 01:25:06,643 --> 01:25:08,110 And he only wants to talk to me, 1786 01:25:08,185 --> 01:25:09,688 and he only wants to listen to me. 1787 01:25:09,770 --> 01:25:12,694 He told me I was his person. 1788 01:25:12,774 --> 01:25:15,323 [groans] I'm sorry. I mean, 1789 01:25:15,402 --> 01:25:17,574 I'm not actually following here. 1790 01:25:17,654 --> 01:25:19,076 No, me, neither. 1791 01:25:19,155 --> 01:25:21,908 You said that he loves you... as you are? 1792 01:25:21,992 --> 01:25:23,493 [Carol] He doesn't want to change you? 1793 01:25:23,577 --> 01:25:25,123 And he wanted to know your thoughts? 1794 01:25:25,203 --> 01:25:28,582 - So you broke up with him? - Well, yeah, exactly! Duh. 1795 01:25:28,664 --> 01:25:30,042 Are you out of your mind? 1796 01:25:32,085 --> 01:25:33,677 Okay, where is he? 1797 01:25:33,753 --> 01:25:36,882 He checked out and he's on his way to New York. 1798 01:25:36,965 --> 01:25:40,139 Okay. Okay. Time to get dressed. 1799 01:25:40,217 --> 01:25:42,390 [Carol] Yup. That's it, Viv, you're going after him. 1800 01:25:42,470 --> 01:25:45,270 - Get up, get up. - [Vivian] No! Oh, my God. 1801 01:25:45,349 --> 01:25:46,725 What time is his flight? 1802 01:25:46,807 --> 01:25:49,027 - Huh? - Never mind, I'll figure it out. 1803 01:25:49,101 --> 01:25:51,024 She has to put on something sexy. 1804 01:25:51,104 --> 01:25:52,947 Everything she owns is sexy! 1805 01:25:53,023 --> 01:25:55,775 I can't... Oh, God! It is so yucky, 1806 01:25:55,859 --> 01:25:57,235 and this is so needy! 1807 01:25:57,319 --> 01:25:59,242 Sharon, I am not desperate. 1808 01:25:59,320 --> 01:26:01,118 No, you are not. You are stupid. 1809 01:26:01,198 --> 01:26:04,417 No, I am not. You just... You don't understand. 1810 01:26:04,493 --> 01:26:08,167 I know how this story ends, and I do not like it. 1811 01:26:08,246 --> 01:26:10,543 If he has me, he's gonna get bored. 1812 01:26:10,623 --> 01:26:13,002 He hasn't seen me naked in 4O years! 1813 01:26:13,085 --> 01:26:14,677 I know. I'm sorry. Oh, my God... 1814 01:26:14,752 --> 01:26:17,631 I'm no fool! I know what happens. 1815 01:26:17,713 --> 01:26:19,306 He's gonna cheat on me 1816 01:26:19,382 --> 01:26:20,568 and leave me for a younger woman. 1817 01:26:20,591 --> 01:26:22,094 And then I'm gonna lose everything. 1818 01:26:22,176 --> 01:26:24,145 And it's just... it's not worth it! 1819 01:26:24,220 --> 01:26:26,349 - Okay, baby, there you go. - It isn't worth it. 1820 01:26:26,430 --> 01:26:27,682 [shrieks] 1821 01:26:27,890 --> 01:26:29,768 I'm so sorry. I'm very sorry. 1822 01:26:29,850 --> 01:26:31,649 But it had to be done, all right? 1823 01:26:32,020 --> 01:26:33,567 [chuckles] 1824 01:26:33,646 --> 01:26:34,863 [laughter] 1825 01:26:35,314 --> 01:26:38,194 - It's okay. - His flight leaves in an hour. 1826 01:26:38,275 --> 01:26:40,028 - God, are you sure? - [Sharon] Yes. 1827 01:26:40,112 --> 01:26:41,988 Okay, earrings! Time to go. 1828 01:26:42,072 --> 01:26:44,119 - Do I look okay? - Yes, you look great. 1829 01:26:44,198 --> 01:26:45,371 Oh, the girls. 1830 01:26:45,449 --> 01:26:47,703 - You want me to put those on? - Yep. Go. 1831 01:26:47,786 --> 01:26:49,958 G -Okay! ' °' 9°, 90. Go! 1832 01:26:50,037 --> 01:26:51,381 [laughter] 1833 01:26:51,872 --> 01:26:54,126 I put a lipstick and compact in there. 1834 01:26:54,208 --> 01:26:56,211 Oh, that's so great! Oh, thanks. 1835 01:26:56,293 --> 01:26:59,264 - Oh, my God, do I look okay? - Yes! Yes. 1836 01:26:59,338 --> 01:27:00,591 [Diane cheers] 1837 01:27:00,673 --> 01:27:02,596 - [Sharon] Here we go. - [Diane] Bye! 1838 01:27:02,676 --> 01:27:04,144 - Bye. - [Vivian] Bye_ 1839 01:27:04,552 --> 01:27:05,770 [doorbell] 1840 01:27:05,845 --> 01:27:07,347 [knocking] 1841 01:27:07,805 --> 01:27:09,432 My shoes. 1842 01:27:09,850 --> 01:27:11,693 Oh, and Carol, your show! 1843 01:27:11,768 --> 01:27:13,395 Oh, God, don't be ridiculous. 1844 01:27:13,478 --> 01:27:16,230 And Diane... you're leaving! 1845 01:27:16,314 --> 01:27:19,658 Oh, my God, you're leaving. What am I gonna do? 1846 01:27:20,068 --> 01:27:21,319 Shoes! 1847 01:27:21,403 --> 01:27:23,701 Oh, God, thank you, guys. I love you so much. 1848 01:27:28,702 --> 01:27:31,251 [shouts] To the airport, Mario! 1849 01:27:31,328 --> 01:27:33,547 [Latin music playing] 1850 01:27:37,252 --> 01:27:39,595 [audience cheering] 1851 01:27:39,671 --> 01:27:41,172 Okay, that's scary. 1852 01:27:46,636 --> 01:27:49,185 [audience cheering] 1853 01:27:49,264 --> 01:27:51,436 You're gonna do great! Gonna do great. 1854 01:27:51,515 --> 01:27:53,439 [audience whooping] 1855 01:27:55,854 --> 01:27:58,073 [audience cheering] 1856 01:28:01,525 --> 01:28:05,372 And that was Jed and Leyla Sanderson performing! 1857 01:28:05,822 --> 01:28:08,449 Hard to believe she's an anesthesiologist. 1858 01:28:09,201 --> 01:28:10,998 Arthur, it's Vivian. Call me back 1859 01:28:11,077 --> 01:28:12,453 before you board your plane. 1860 01:28:13,622 --> 01:28:15,545 Mario, are you using Waze? 1861 01:28:16,041 --> 01:28:18,680 [Mario] Yes, Miss O'Donnell, but I don't think we're gonna make it. 1862 01:28:24,048 --> 01:28:26,096 And last but not least, 1863 01:28:26,176 --> 01:28:30,681 everyone's favorite chef and our fearless organizer. 1864 01:28:30,971 --> 01:28:35,523 Dancing a solo will be... Carol Colby! 1865 01:28:35,601 --> 01:28:37,695 [applause] 1866 01:28:37,770 --> 01:28:40,364 ["I'd Do Anything for Love" by Meat Loaf playing] 1867 01:28:40,439 --> 01:28:42,533 Wait. No, no, wait. Sorry. 1868 01:28:42,818 --> 01:28:44,319 That's not the right song. 1869 01:28:44,402 --> 01:28:46,561 It's supposed to be "Red, Red Robin Goes Bob, Bob... ". 1870 01:28:46,863 --> 01:28:49,365 Oh, shoot. Meat Loaf? Come on! 1871 01:28:49,448 --> 01:28:50,541 Aw, screw it. 1872 01:28:54,703 --> 01:28:58,207 Oh, my God, she's tap dancing to Meat Loaf! 1873 01:28:58,291 --> 01:28:59,917 [Diane] And she's pulling it off! 1874 01:29:02,628 --> 01:29:04,631 [feet tapping] 1875 01:29:17,560 --> 01:29:19,279 [Carol shrieks] 1876 01:29:38,622 --> 01:29:40,216 [cheering] 1877 01:29:41,417 --> 01:29:42,418 Bruce! 1878 01:29:42,502 --> 01:29:44,925 [cheering] 1879 01:29:54,471 --> 01:29:57,065 Five, six, seven, eight... 1880 01:30:21,917 --> 01:30:23,668 Oh, my God. 1881 01:30:26,671 --> 01:30:29,970 My, oh, my! How about those Colbys? 1882 01:30:31,635 --> 01:30:33,979 A romantic way to end the show. 1883 01:30:36,805 --> 01:30:40,105 Oh God, I can't believe you're here. 1884 01:30:40,185 --> 01:30:43,234 I couldn't miss a chance to dance with my girl. 1885 01:30:43,520 --> 01:30:45,523 - You were incredible. - No, I wasn't. 1886 01:30:45,606 --> 01:30:47,701 None of our steps go with Meat Loaf. 1887 01:30:48,193 --> 01:30:51,117 Who needs the steps? We were dancing. 1888 01:30:57,868 --> 01:30:59,997 I'm sorry. Your cell phone is poking me. 1889 01:31:00,079 --> 01:31:02,002 No, I didn't bring my cell phone. 1890 01:31:02,832 --> 01:31:05,460 - Oh. - You want to go home now? What do you say? 1891 01:31:05,542 --> 01:31:07,045 - I say yes. - Okay. 1892 01:31:21,141 --> 01:31:22,484 Arthur! 1893 01:31:24,270 --> 01:31:26,068 I thought you left. 1894 01:31:26,939 --> 01:31:28,032 I did. 1895 01:31:30,443 --> 01:31:33,367 I went to the airport to try t0 see you. 1896 01:31:37,074 --> 01:31:38,452 Why are you here? 1897 01:31:40,912 --> 01:31:42,538 I realized I... 1898 01:31:42,956 --> 01:31:44,753 forgot to give you back your penny. 1899 01:31:47,127 --> 01:31:48,628 Why did you go to the airport? 1900 01:31:50,505 --> 01:31:52,802 I realized I wanted my penny back. 1901 01:31:53,591 --> 01:31:57,561 See, I tried to live without it for... for the past 4O years. 1902 01:31:58,637 --> 01:32:00,185 And I didn't like it. 1903 01:32:08,105 --> 01:32:09,653 Do you want to make a wish? 1904 01:32:11,025 --> 01:32:12,403 I do. 1905 01:32:16,864 --> 01:32:19,118 Oh, my God, you probably killed someone. 1906 01:32:21,327 --> 01:32:22,953 There's a subroof. 1907 01:32:41,514 --> 01:32:43,891 Nancy in my office, she's in a book club, 1908 01:32:43,975 --> 01:32:45,574 and I thought you might like to meet her. 1909 01:32:45,643 --> 01:32:47,895 Well, that's... that's very sweet. 1910 01:32:48,604 --> 01:32:50,164 Anyone else want another piece of pizza? 1911 01:32:50,189 --> 01:32:51,189 I have one. 1912 01:32:52,108 --> 01:32:53,154 - Mom. - What? 1913 01:32:53,234 --> 01:32:54,280 You're not hungry? 1914 01:32:55,235 --> 01:32:56,828 I guess not. 1915 01:32:56,904 --> 01:32:59,158 Well, I mean, you're probably exhausted. 1916 01:32:59,239 --> 01:33:00,537 [scoffs] 1917 01:33:00,617 --> 01:33:03,291 It's really not okay that you drove here all by yourself. 1918 01:33:03,368 --> 01:33:05,292 At your age, Mom, you could have killed somebody. 1919 01:33:05,371 --> 01:33:06,497 I really don't think so. 1920 01:33:06,581 --> 01:33:08,708 And the fact that you don't even realize that 1921 01:33:08,792 --> 01:33:09,917 is what is so scary. 1922 01:33:10,001 --> 01:33:11,172 Oh, Jesus! Will you just... 1923 01:33:11,252 --> 01:33:12,252 [groans] 1924 01:33:13,837 --> 01:33:15,715 Please stop, okay? 1925 01:33:16,882 --> 01:33:18,135 I mean, really! 1926 01:33:19,426 --> 01:33:20,552 Oh, my God. 1927 01:33:21,595 --> 01:33:22,595 Okay. 1928 01:33:26,184 --> 01:33:28,653 You know how proud I am of both of you. 1929 01:33:31,314 --> 01:33:32,530 [sighs] 1930 01:33:33,524 --> 01:33:35,778 The greatest gift I think a parent can give a child 1931 01:33:35,859 --> 01:33:37,157 is to lead by example, 1932 01:33:37,237 --> 01:33:39,409 and I don't think I did a very good job. 1933 01:33:39,488 --> 01:33:40,706 But your father... 1934 01:33:40,782 --> 01:33:43,251 Oh, my goodness, he was stable, wasn't he? 1935 01:33:43,326 --> 01:33:45,293 And smart and kind. 1936 01:33:45,369 --> 01:33:47,042 He was just a great dad. 1937 01:33:47,956 --> 01:33:50,333 Fine husband. And we had a nice life. 1938 01:33:52,793 --> 01:33:56,344 But there's something... I really have to say. 1939 01:34:01,552 --> 01:34:04,021 There's a man out there who makes me feel things 1940 01:34:04,096 --> 01:34:05,939 that I didn't think were... 1941 01:34:06,515 --> 01:34:07,984 still possible. 1942 01:34:08,685 --> 01:34:10,311 You know what he does? He makes me feel 1943 01:34:10,395 --> 01:34:13,023 curious and excited about the world. 1944 01:34:13,105 --> 01:34:16,359 And maybe things with us will go bust. 1945 01:34:16,442 --> 01:34:20,037 Maybe my feelings will be hurt, but that's life. 1946 01:34:21,447 --> 01:34:23,869 And in spite of what you both seem to think... 1947 01:34:24,783 --> 01:34:27,037 I'm not through living mine just yet. 1948 01:34:27,787 --> 01:34:29,380 I have things that I want to explore. 1949 01:34:29,454 --> 01:34:31,752 And guess what? I think I've earned that right. 1950 01:34:31,832 --> 01:34:36,634 So it's time for all of this to just stop, okay? 1951 01:34:37,921 --> 01:34:43,349 You both seem to have very, very strong parenting instincts. 1952 01:34:43,427 --> 01:34:45,475 But do save it for your children 1953 01:34:45,555 --> 01:34:48,559 because your mother is doing just fine. 1954 01:34:50,601 --> 01:34:51,819 And... 1955 01:34:52,270 --> 01:34:54,146 I know I'm getting older. 1956 01:34:54,814 --> 01:34:57,317 But I'm still learning. 1957 01:34:57,817 --> 01:34:59,944 And one of the biggest lessons I've learned 1958 01:35:00,028 --> 01:35:02,907 is not to be afraid to be happy. 1959 01:35:04,990 --> 01:35:06,583 I love you both. 1960 01:35:07,493 --> 01:35:09,541 But I'm not staying here anymore. 1961 01:35:11,247 --> 01:35:12,543 Mom... 1962 01:35:15,877 --> 01:35:17,595 Morn! Mom! 1963 01:35:20,297 --> 01:35:21,515 Have fun. 1964 01:35:26,386 --> 01:35:27,854 Love you. 1965 01:35:27,930 --> 01:35:29,524 - Love you, Mom. - Love you. 1966 01:35:36,814 --> 01:35:39,192 - Drive safe! - [Jill] Bye! 1967 01:35:39,274 --> 01:35:43,074 [pop music playing] 1968 01:36:25,947 --> 01:36:27,448 Can I come in? 1969 01:36:27,532 --> 01:36:28,748 No way. 1970 01:36:28,824 --> 01:36:30,417 - No way? - No way. 1971 01:36:35,247 --> 01:36:38,217 - What's in the U-Haul? - Just my overnight bag. 1972 01:36:52,597 --> 01:36:57,274 My inner goddess says, "Most definitely yes." 1973 01:37:14,662 --> 01:37:16,663 [pop music playing] 1974 01:37:27,091 --> 01:37:29,514 Oh. Yeah, yeah, I see the arms. 143655

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